Are First Looks a Bad Idea??

Bryce & Manda from Porterhouse Video discuss whether or not doing a first look is a good idea, a wedding tanning bed disaster, and if this live wedding painter is a scam artist! This is a full episode of The For Better or Worse podcast! 

00:00 - Intro 
00:56 - Should you do a first look?
27:00 - Shout Out to DeanyWeanyBlooms!
29:07 - This Bride asks too much
40:15 - A Live Wedding Painting Scam!

Looking for wedding video? Check out our Wedding Videography at www.porterhousevideo.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey lovebirds, welcome to For Better or Worse, a podcast where we talk about everything wedding, vendors, and love. Amanda.

SPEAKER_05 0:08

I'm Bryce, and we're two wedding videographers based out of Rochester, New York. Who are also married to each other. You got us though. We don't have our rings on. So But I swear to God, we're married. I swear we're married. We have rings usually.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Today we're going to be discussing the pros and cons of whether or not you should have a first look, or do the traditional wait to see me walk down the aisle.

SPEAKER_05 0:31

I found a story about a bride forcing her bridal party to do a very insane thing before the wedding, and I can't wait to talk about that.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

We're also going to be doing a vendor bender where a live wedding painter, I mean, like the wedding painters are always live, where a part where a painter was painting at a wedding and the painting has gone missing. What has happened to the painting? We'll find out.

SPEAKER_05 0:52

A Colombo mystery.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Call Inspector Gadget to find this painting. We had a phone call with a bride the other day, and she was asking us our opinion on whether or not she should do a first look with her fiance. And that brought up a huge like we got into an argument kind of about it. Like whether or not you know what I mean. Like it's a recreational argument. We were not actually fighting with each other, but it was very recreational in the sense of we can't we actually came up with a whole bunch of reasons why you should have a first look and options on how to do so. And then in turn, if you're not doing a first look, what's like a way to kind of like amp up being seen as you're walking down the aisle or how you should go about that?

SPEAKER_05 1:45

Yeah. Yeah, I think it's a it's a great thing to talk about. It's a great thing to see because um the superstitious part of it is like gone nowadays. Um, I I think the people that are like you can't see the bride until whatever, I think that's I think that's gone. I think that's almost all but gone.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

I think that's become more of just like uh well, everybody's done it this way, so we're just gonna do it this way too. Like everybody does this, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 2:10

I always have a philosophy of like when you're planning your wedding, what are you doing for you? What are you doing for your guests, and what are you doing for the photos and video? Like, because everything else kind of is just like everything falls in those slots, and you can make any single activity on a wedding day fit into any three of those categories. Because if you're doing a first look for you, then you want it private, you want it, you know, filmed and photographed from a distance, you want it tearful. Maybe you read your vows in private, you know, for you.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

Maybe maybe you know for a fact that if you're in front of a whole bunch of people, you're not going to give an authentic reaction, whether that is crying or not crying. Like, I've heard people say, like, oh, like, you know, like she really wants me to cry when I see her, but like, I don't know, I'm just so happy that everyone's gonna be here. I'm gonna be smiling so big. I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_05 3:05

But like some people, some guys just like when they're when they're nervous or excited, hi baby. When they're nervous or excited, they just get like vibrate, like they get so like it's here. I think if you're doing it for you, I think the best way to have like a first look or some sort of thing that's first look-esque, if you're doing it for you, a first touch or like a blind letter reading to each other, a back-to-back, a back-to-back, something like that, or like we see couples do letters and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

Like, if you don't want to see each other, but you still want to have that moment of like saying everything you want to say before you get married, like just all out, completely unfiltered. Like, you can write down as much as you want and still not see each other until you have that down the aisle moment. Yes. Right. So I saw on TikTok, which is what really sparked like my like opinion on this after we talked about this, was there was a couple in a church, and the groom was in the front pew, and the bride came and sat behind him and wrapped her arms around him, and he could he could see it was it was obviously her, it was whatever, and she could only see the back of his head, and they held hands and they did a first touch and they read their their personal vows to each other, but they still didn't see each other. And I liked that because, like, even though we've done ones where it's like a door is separating them, or they're like touching around the corner. We've seen ones where like they're separated by like a door, or like they're like at like a corner of a wall and they they hold hands. We've seen couples who are literally like walked backwards towards each other in a field. Yeah, that was which was it was a process, but I'm not gonna lie. Seeing the two of them just alone in this field back to back was just so beautiful.

SPEAKER_05 5:07

And I'm not as alone as they could be.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

Their bridal party I shot it so you couldn't see anybody else. It was as if they were alone. The video says they were completely alone, even though their bridal party was right there. Yeah. Which perfectly brings me in to my next thing. Who should be at your first look if you are doing one?

SPEAKER_05 5:28

It's a good question. If you're to planning on doing a first look, who should who should be there to watch it? Because we how should they be there the way?

SPEAKER_01 5:36

We have been asked that before. Like, does anybody come with me? Do you want anybody to come with you? Well, I don't know who's supposed to come with me. Like, there is no answer to that whatsoever. Like, it's your wedding day. Like, you could bring like the caterer with you. Like, he's he seems really cool. Like, he brought extra napkins. He could come with us. Like, I don't care. It's all really up to you and what you want. So, like, sometimes we'll have uh it happen right outside the bridal suite or on like a veranda in a gazebo. I'm so sorry, it's just because I'm talking a lot.

SPEAKER_05 6:10

It's okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

We'll see a lot of like spectators from like behind a window. Yeah. Right? Like that happens a lot of the time where they can't really hear everything, but they're like, he's crying! Like you you can hear that, or we've seen it where like they're in a window super far away, but they're still like watching through watching. We've had it where a um uh mother and father of the bride walked her to her groom and then took a step back and were still there to see that moment as if it was like when she would have been walked down the aisle at the wedding, they walked her to her first look that she wanted. So the bride was so sweet. Well, it was nice because she was still able to honor what her parents wanted, which was well, I want to be there when he sees you for the first time, all dolled up. And they were like, Well, we want to have a private moment beforehand. She was like, you know what? We can do both. Walk me there and then step away and let us have our moment. And it was so sweet because they were like the biggest silent cheerleaders. They were just the parents were holding each other like who they are, and they didn't say anything, they didn't get involved, they weren't like, we can't hear you, like what are you saying? I can't hear your vows. They just were so happy to just watch this happen. Yeah, yeah, you know. Some people will have like their best man and maid of honor come just to kind of like right here, man. I got you. Like, you're good, or like I'll fix your veil or whatever, right beforehand, kind of the same way you would as you walk down the aisle, you have somebody who's there for you, you know. But like, what's your what's your thought?

SPEAKER_05 7:59

I think that I I really, really like first looks, and I like first looks when they read their private vows to each other. It's something that we usually recommend. It's it's so cool, it's so intimate. Um, it's authentic. It's very authentic because you're not writing for an audience, you're not writing for the rest of the people that are your writing for your industry. You're writing for yeah, your your betrothed. I always enjoy a good first look. And you also have to pick and choose your battles because if you really want a first look, um, but your you know, your partner isn't really like the emotional or outward type or something. And this goes for like having a first look with your um I've actually never had a bad first look with bridesmaids. Um, I think it's it's always really good. I think I think it will help is that you and I like hype them up. Like, are you ready to see her? Oh, you guys don't sound ready enough, you know. Same with like a dad, though. Like, if your dad's just gonna be like, Oh, hiya, you know? That's what I paid for. Like, don't waste your time with that. Uh hey, ha ha darling. You look beautiful. Wow, wow, wow.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

And then they go, now what do we do? That makes me so mad. But don't get me wrong. Sometimes there have been brides who have been like, I want to do a first look with my daddy. He's not an emotional guy, he's not gonna cry, but I still would like to have that moment with him so it's not rushed before we have to walk down the aisle. I'd like to have just like a minute and then I can take pictures with both of my parents or whatever. And then sometimes, like, the dad is a mess, and the bride doesn't know, and we're we're getting the mic on him, and he's like, Don't talk to me, but is she there? And you're just like, She said you weren't gonna cry. Well, I've never I've never had a daughter get married.

SPEAKER_05 9:55

You're like, oh shit. Yeah, sometimes that's my fault, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

I know you you ask them a whole bunch of questions to get them all buttered up.

SPEAKER_05 10:03

I love to butter them up so that they're crying. Crying looks great on film, so I always like when I I'll always ask like the dad, like, hey, what do you think of uh so and so? And then I'll be like, Wow, you know, uh, is this your only daughter getting married? You know, that's pretty crazy. You must have imagined this when she was a little girl.

SPEAKER_02 10:20

They're like, You shut up. That's my baby.

SPEAKER_05 10:24

Yeah, I I have I love the recordings. I have one from our 2025 season, and he was like, Bryce, what the hell are you doing to me? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you trying to pull? He turns to his wife and he's just like, he's trying to make me cry. Why is he trying to make me cry? It's a wedding man. You you do you, but I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try to make you have an emotional response.

SPEAKER_01 10:46

And it was funny too, because she was like, after like they did the first look, she's like, Oh my god, are you crying? It's like, yeah, because of Bryce. Look at his vault.

SPEAKER_05 10:55

I was okay. It's so good.

SPEAKER_01 10:57

No, in re in turn, like in in reverse, if you're not gonna do a first look, but you want to have like that special moment of you know, seeing me for the first time when I'm walking down the aisle, there's so many different ways of doing that, and I didn't realize it until we had done more culturally varied weddings. I mean, think about it. We only like we said, we'd only gone to Catholic weddings until we didn't go to Catholic weddings at some point, right? So, like, we've seen it where the bride just walks herself down the aisle because like I plan this whole wedding, I get just like 30 seconds where everybody's staring at me. I'm having my moment.

SPEAKER_06 11:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:35

Um, we've also seen it where uh somebody has walked the bride halfway down the aisle and then passed her off to somebody else to also give them that moment of walking them down the aisle. I mean, we also were involved in filming a wedding where um the bride had had uh an organ transplant done.

SPEAKER_05 12:00

So the story goes, it's she the the woman that donated her organs had died three days before her own wedding.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Yeah, she'd gotten into she'd gotten into a terrible accident.

SPEAKER_05 12:12

Terrible accident. And the the the organ receiver, um, who was the bride of this wedding that we filmed.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

She and the father of the organ donor had met very, very close and they had met, and she had him walk her halfway down the aisle and pass her off to her own father because he didn't get to walk his own daughter down the aisle, and she was like, Well, part of your daughter will always be with me. It was so so it was it was absolutely beautiful, and it was it was very, very sweet, and that's that's what you've been saying is that like your wedding can is for you, for your guests, for your captured memories, and you can do that in so many different ways. I mean, in some weddings, the the couple walks down the aisle together, which I think is just beautiful. I mean, we've seen full-on parades, yeah, literal parades where people are playing music and and getting from point A to point B in this crazy joyous celebration, and it's just it's magical. Like they're all magical in their own way, but you know, I I love when the couple walks down together, like we're walking into marriage together.

SPEAKER_05 13:30

I love when a bride's a baddie and she walks herself down the aisle. I think that's always something.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

Huge shout out to our girl, Crystal. Crystal Crystal was like, I'm walking by myself, and I was like, Oh my god, she was like, Yeah, watch me go. And she walked down that aisle.

SPEAKER_05 13:46

It was awesome. It was awesome.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

And then there were Irish step dancers at her wedding, which was also like one of the coolest things I've ever seen in my life. I was just like, girl, what else is next? Like, are we are we all going skydiving? Because this is a vibe. Like, where are we going?

SPEAKER_05 14:02

I think a great thing to do is to assess, like, and to and talk to your partner about like what are you comfortable with? How do you think you're going to behave? Like, because if you have if you have uh your fiance, like if you are, you know, bride and groom, if your fiance like worships you, you know, like if they are like chomping at the bit to be married at you, they are just like so excited for this date.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

Head over heels, just giddy is all get out.

SPEAKER_05 14:32

Have him not see you until you walk down the aisle, right? Make him wait, make him wait for it.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

Make him wait and let everybody see how much that boy loves you. But like also, if on on the reverse, if you want that all for yourself, do a first look so it's all for you because you really think that doing a first look is gonna get rid of that excitement. No, it's not, it's not. So I mean, you these are things to think about, and also I think it's a really good idea to not only come up with your own ideas and just be like, well, we could do A or B. Go look at what everybody else has done. Do you know what I mean? Like some people ride into their wedding on a horse. Like we've seen Napoleon Dynamite, people show up on horses, like it could be literally anything. People go into their weddings on elephants or being carried by a whole bunch of people, or they walk their damn selves down the aisle. You know what I mean? It's okay.

SPEAKER_05 15:28

God, what is your problem?

SPEAKER_01 15:30

Are you having a hard time sharing? Do you have an opinion? Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 15:35

Thanks, Leela. Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

How nice. Wow, what you got?

SPEAKER_05 15:40

If you're one of those couples where your partner is like, ooh, big tough guy out in public, like, yeah, babe, you know, um, I'm just gonna go to the guy store real quick and write go get some tools and beer, you know.

SPEAKER_00 15:53

But with you, he's like, Oh love you, wobby, don't you?

SPEAKER_05 15:59

You know, if he's if that's a case. Do a private first look.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

At that moment, like if that's not who you are to be really like outwardly emotional in front of an audience, you don't have to be. Yeah, like your wedding is supposed to reflect you as a couple. Like, if you guys are normally like, yeah, no, they're crazy and their their vibe is they're just constantly whatever, and you walk down the aisle to who let the dogs out because that's something that gets you guys happy. Your wedding day is your wedding day. Yeah, and if that's that's all it should be. Try to constru you. Beautiful.

SPEAKER_05 16:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

I think that's because like at the end of the day, it's it's your marriage.

SPEAKER_05 16:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:45

This is day one of your marriage, and you don't start your marriage by doing things for other people. It's about you two.

SPEAKER_05 16:53

What what were your thoughts about when I saw you on our wedding day? When like we had our church wedding. Uh-huh. So pissed.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

I was so can I tell the story? No, you cannot tell the story, but I gladly will. Go ahead. So my dad is not an emotional guy. I think I've seen my dad cry maybe, maybe twice in my life. Um, and I can't take it seriously because I don't deal well with people like who don't cry crying. I'm very much like, ah, like, what is happening? My father absolutely loves like Father of the Bride and like movies where it's like, you see that, like that's at the all Forrest Gump, he gets it. Like, like, that's an emotional moment. Like my dad lives in that way. He he understands his own feelings through seeing like things in film and TV. And so I knew very much that when he was walking me down the aisle, we were Steve and Annie Banks. Like, I knew it was like my little girl, butterfly kisses was playing in his head. All five of the father-daughter dances. And like John Denver was also in there somewhere, and like little blue corner was playing, and like we were having so much was happening that he was just crying. Balling. Like, I was, and mind you, he's a bigger man.

SPEAKER_05 18:15

He's like he's the he's a taller, more muscular man.

SPEAKER_01 18:19

And he is a track and field athlete baseball player man, like my dad.

SPEAKER_05 18:25

Like jabel and throw record holder, like John Malikowski.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Dude, he wears button-downs every day.

SPEAKER_05 18:33

It's a very, very long stretch down the church aisle.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

It's a long church aisle, and it's long and clicky clacky. And he's going down holding, he's like, and I'm trying, I'm just excited. Mind you, it was also very cold where I had been standing because it was December 31st. Yes. And we were in New England. Happy New Year. Thank you. Um, I was like, okay, let's like let's get away from the door. Like, let's get down there. I want to go. And he is anchoring me to his blubbering.

SPEAKER_05 19:07

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

I'm like, I knew why this was happening. So I'm looking up at him and I'm like, like, I can't keep it together. I see nobody else as I'm walking down the aisle. I don't really even see you until I'm maybe 10 feet away because I'm like, is anybody else seeing this man having feelings?

SPEAKER_05 19:26

I'm just staring at him too, because I was just like, yo, my God.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

Oh my heavens. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_05 19:32

Are you gonna be okay?

SPEAKER_01 19:34

And then I look at you and you have your stupid hands on your belly, and you're like, I was like, I really so pissed that I had to walk down the aisle. I can't even focus on what I'm doing because I'm worried that my dad is gonna need to sit down and compose himself. I had. He got that. Um, I think that he's gonna need to just take a minute because he's so just overwhelmed that I thought I would look at you and maybe you would have been looking at me the whole time, but you also were like, is he okay?

SPEAKER_05 20:08

Yeah. I was really trying to psych myself up. I'm like, Bryce, you're gonna like this is so awesome. You get to see your bride in her dress. I am so excited. I'm sitting in the back.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

You had also just seen our daughter come down the aisle, too, which was so cool.

SPEAKER_05 20:25

I was really, really she also refused to walk. So a little context. We got married, and then two late years later, we had our wedding, like in our in the church or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

And like the big party, big dress, everything.

SPEAKER_05 20:37

At this point, we had been married for two years. So to the day, yeah, two years. So, you know, um, it was that was the thing that you know, he passed you off to me, and he goes, Take good care of her. And I'm like, I've been married to her for two years, brother. Like, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01 20:57

And it was so funny because like after we sat down and everything, like the the four of us, like us and our our two, like best man and maid of honor, we were all like, Man, John was crying a lot, like he had some whoa, it didn't happen. It was very sweet.

SPEAKER_05 21:13

That like two minutes before everybody started walking down the aisle. My brother and I were in the back room of the church. Where like the altar servers get ready. The the priest there is the priest that Manda has known forever. Yeah, and he's a great guy, he's really, really awesome. We love him.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

He actually he was actually the one that married my aunt and uncle.

SPEAKER_05 21:31

Yeah, yeah. So, like long family history. He's been around, you know, Manda forever. He's the motorcycle priest. He was the one that was okay with us getting married in the church, even though that we were already married. So he was, you know, it was very cool. He was really chill.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

I wasn't gonna do just like a thing during mass. I was like, No, no, I had all my sacraments in this church. I would like to have my wedding in this church. My parents were married in this church, it's important to me, you know. And he was like, What are we doing it?

SPEAKER_05 21:58

Yeah, he was like, Hell yeah, let's. Do it. So we're sitting, my brother and I are sitting in the back of the church waiting to be brought out. And the photographer comes back and goes, Hey, I'm gonna get a picture of you before you walk out. And I was like, Sweet, yeah, hey, Nico, come here. And we're sitting there, and right before the photographer takes a picture, the priest walks over and he goes, It's a shame what all those priests are doing to those little kids, huh?

SPEAKER_00 22:24

And we were like, and we'll have you'll have to show the picture because your face is you're just like we're both just like what the hell did he just say to us?

SPEAKER_05 22:36

So that coupled with the fact that your dad was absolutely losing his mind, just made it for like a surrealist.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

There were so many things, and that was the best, like so afterwards, because so many things had happened that we couldn't talk about because it was a full hour and a half long church ceremony. Sorry to all of our guests. Um, but you and I went in the limo afterwards and we're just like, what the hell?

SPEAKER_00 23:02

Spitting back and forth all the things that had happened.

SPEAKER_05 23:04

Did you see this? Did you see that? Did I tell you what the priest said to me? Like amazing. Oh my god. So the long story short, if we would go back in time, I probably would have done a first look with you somewhere private. We would have one.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

I already had like a place that we could have done a first look and everything. We 100% would have done a first look. I would have wanted to do that. I actually I think it actually would have been fun to ride to the church together with our daughter and our our entire wedding party.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

Um, but I did get ready in my childhood home. Yeah. It was beautiful. I enjoyed being there. It was nice. I helped my little brother get dressed. I was there helping my dad with his cuff links. It was, it was an even though I hadn't lived there for three years or more, it was really nice to get ready in my childhood home and then like do the traditional thing.

SPEAKER_05 23:53

Just like a lot of things, it's it's great to have the story. It's great to have the story. Um, you know, would I have done it in a better, more proper way that would have suited us? Yeah, absolutely. But is it really us if it isn't some stupid story that happened that we can talk about forever?

SPEAKER_01 24:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:11

That's us.

SPEAKER_01 24:11

So all it did it did kind of live true to being it was very an us thing to happen.

SPEAKER_05 24:19

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So if you have any thoughts or opinions on anything, uh first looks coming down the aisle, when should your partner see you? Leave them down in the comments.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

If you came down the aisle in a non-traditional way, or if you're like, I did it traditionally, and here's why, I want to hear about it. Because we do have couples ask us all the time, what do you like? What did you do? What have you seen? How have you done it? And yeah, we can only speak on what we've seen, but I would love to hear other options that we could suggest and hear how they worked out.

SPEAKER_03 24:54

Yes, please let us know. DM us, comment, all that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

Smoke signal, carrier pigeon. I want them all. You oh wow. Are the mics on?

SPEAKER_03 25:07

Yeah, they're on.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

I just uh just just you know, while you're here, um we just talked about when I walked down the aisle at at my wedding and you were a hot mess.

SPEAKER_04 25:17

Yes, I was. Dads are like that.

SPEAKER_01 25:19

Yeah, no, I said that you were they only have one daughter. So we talked about that as well, but I also I equated you to thinking that you were um Steve Martin in Father of the Bride, that that was what you were That's exactly how I felt That's what I said.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

I was like, all right, we're about to walk down the aisle, and all of a sudden I look up at my dad and he was like what was going through your head when we were you were walking her down the aisle?

SPEAKER_08 25:50

Uh what was going through my head? I saw my her born, two years old, five years old, seven years old, twelve years old. It's like everything flew in front of me. I can't believe I'm even here.

SPEAKER_00 26:05

Yeah, well that's that's what we said.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

And Bryce was like, Bryce even said, he goes, I couldn't even really focus on seeing my wife walk down the aisle because I looked at her and then I looked up at my father-in-law and was like, shit, is he okay?

SPEAKER_08 26:20

No, I was not.

SPEAKER_00 26:24

That's amazing. Yep, he will. He will.

SPEAKER_08 26:31

When he does, he will totally understand.

SPEAKER_05 26:33

Yes, he will. Yes, he will. Oh, I think about that every single time. Father-daughter dance. I always think about it every time.

SPEAKER_01 26:41

Our father-daughter dance was dope. We had a good father-daughter dance.

SPEAKER_08 26:45

People were trying to figure that out, and then when they did, they thought it was cool.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

It was dope. It was dope. I was very much there for it. All right. Say say bye to the podcast, Dad.

SPEAKER_08 26:54

Bye. Have fun. Okay. I love this stuff. Keep doing it.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

Sounds good. Love you. Bye. Bye.

SPEAKER_05 27:03

That was dope. Right? That was dope. Love a little serendipity. I guess I'm going to take this time to plea out again that we're looking for vendors and people who have worked with vendors to send us their information so that we can shout them out for free on the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_05 27:21

We don't have advertisers right now. Uh, we're working on it.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

Yep.

SPEAKER_05 27:26

And uh we want to take this time to shout out different vendors that if you've worked with or you are a vendor, we want to look at your work, make sure that you know we bring our best foot forward when we recommend people and uh give you a good shout out. As videographers, we never get to recommend people, we're usually last pick. So this is probably our only way to give back to the wedding community is to shout out vendors that we would never normally be able to shout out. So if you have one, DM us. Uh we're on Instagram and TikTok. You can DM us there.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

Even if it's not a traditional wedding vendor, like if you had someone tying balloon animals at your wedding and they made the day incredible, shout them out. We don't need to hear necessarily like, oh, well, like I guess one of my good wedding vendors was like the person that sold me my dress. I mean, honestly, if they were a vibe, shout them out.

SPEAKER_05 28:18

Yeah, we have we have a uh friend that we worked with last year. Uh her name is Deanny. She goes by Deanie. We need blooms on Instagram. Her whole gig is that she makes giant paper flowers. And they're very whimsical. Like they're so beautiful. And they were in the background of this wedding that was so pretty. Um, right here, you know, shout out. Yeah, this is check it out. Yeah, whoa, look at the pictures. Whoa. Shout out to her. I guess you get to be the first person we shout out, you know, just as an example of like if you're looking for big flowers or to have really pretty flowers at your wedding that are non-traditional and ginormous, check her out. Go give her a follow, go for it. If you have anybody, DM us, email us at for better or worsepod at gmail.com. And uh yeah, hope to see some great submissions. In 2022, Yahoo Answers closed, and it was a really sad day for the coupons for there. Coupons.

SPEAKER_01 29:18

Like a business shutdown, and you're like, no, I had a gift card.

SPEAKER_05 29:23

Yahoo Answers closed, and it was the premiere place for all sorts of really stupid questions.

SPEAKER_01 29:28

Is that like was it like Ask Reddit before Ask Reddit was a thing?

SPEAKER_05 29:32

No, well, Ask Reddit was saying, it was like people that shouldn't know how to use a computer decided to get onto Yahoo Answers and ask questions that were like, How do I know if my toaster's haunted?

SPEAKER_01 29:44

Or like, yeah, like I thought you were gonna say, like, how do I know if I'm pregnant? But the whoa, that got me.

SPEAKER_05 29:52

It's all it was such stupid stuff.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

How do I know if my dog wants to kill me in my sleep?

SPEAKER_05 29:56

Yeah, 100% really stuff like that all the time. Where it was like, I think my kid's making purple goo in his in his bedroom, and I don't know how to stop him. And it's a space pirate. What is the context? What do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_01 30:09

I think it was a space pirate in a past life. Who do I contact about that?

SPEAKER_05 30:14

Instead of having Yahoo answers, um, I wanted to find another like forum site from an older time that was specifically about weddings that I could find questions too. An older time is 10 years ago or so. So before our kids were born. Yeah. Uh before we were married so long ago. I'm not the biggest fan of the knot, but the knot has something called the knot community, which is it's it stopped in 2016, but it's all it still exists.

SPEAKER_01 30:43

It's it's like archived.

SPEAKER_05 30:45

Yes. Okay. So I was scouring through it trying to find funny stories and weird stories, and I found one. I wanted your opinion on it. Okay. Excited. This discussion board is called Wedding Party Required Tanning. I literally could not wait to get on here this morning and share this horror story my fiance was telling me about last night. It's beyond absurd. An old co-worker of his was getting married, and apparently herself and the rest of her family are very pale-skinned. Okay. The bride hit the tanning beds and had gotten a decent tan going. Well, somewhere along the line, she decided she didn't want the rest of her wedding party, both male and female, looking like ghosts in her wedding. So she went out and bought each of them a 10 session tanning package. She then required them to submit to her receipts as proof that they completed the full 10 sessions prior to the wedding. My job was freaking on the floor. If that doesn't take the cake for the top ten craziest. I don't know what WP means. They have their own different, like it's not like 28 male. It says WP. Don't know what that means. White person. For the top ten craziest white person requirements. I don't know what would wedding party, you idiot. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

I love how well I mean like the whole thing is she's pale as hell.

SPEAKER_00 32:13

But like, you know, all these WPs gotta get their tan off. It's a wedding party, you dork.

SPEAKER_05 32:19

Um, I don't know what if this doesn't take the cake for the top 10 craziest wedding party requirements, I don't know what would. Sure, skin cancer is so worth it for your wedding photos. What a disgusting bridezilla! I didn't even believe the story was true until my fiance started giving me all the details. Thoughts? And then it says edit, uh, happy Friday.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

My thoughts are if she's going to make them tan and give them all their passes to it, does she also get them 10 checkups at a dermatologist and free melanoma removal? Like that's that's the thing. We all go to the case.

SPEAKER_05 32:56

That's in the box that they opened as a bridesmaid. It's like one gift card for 10 tanning sessions.

SPEAKER_01 33:00

And a scalpel. You do your own removal.

SPEAKER_05 33:04

A magnifying glass so you can really look at your moles that you develop. What if somebody tans worse than somebody else? Because that that happens, right?

SPEAKER_01 33:13

Not worse than somebody else. So like some people do not tan well, or some people do not tan at all. Like your skin physically doesn't change because we're all different people, and our levels of melanin are all very different, which is part of the beauty of having a whole slew of people in your bridal party. We all look different and we're all friends. Um I have heard of bridal parties going and getting spray tans together because it's the dead of winter and they all look chalky and pasty, and they kind of want to just like for photos, they don't want to all be blown out really bad. Totally understand that if you're all on board. Um, I've also seen uh people in wedding parties who have tried to do self-tanner at home who have deeply regretted it. Yeah. I also have heard of people going and tanning together a few times before the wedding. Um that's cool if it's an activity. Like, hey, could you come? Therapist, maybe your parents, like your priest, like anybody at that point.

SPEAKER_05 34:29

Well, I can't imagine that this this probably pasty white person that's getting a tan has many black friends. But would you ask your black bridesmaids or groomsmen to bleach their skin for your wedding? Like, fuck no, dude. There you go, then like that's the answer. You can't require that.

SPEAKER_01 34:46

And and plus, by the way-all down requiring, like, yeah, if you're gonna be in my wedding party, these are the dresses we're wearing. Like, you don't have to, like, you're not gonna die if you're not in my wedding party, but we're all wearing these dresses. If you want everybody, we're all putting our hair up in a bun. Yeah, exactly. We're all wearing this kind of makeup, we're all getting our nails done together. I don't want to see anybody, we're all wearing like blue dresses. I don't want to see like neon pink nails. Like, I understand that because like they're volunteering to be a part of your brigade, they're volunteering to be living decor.

SPEAKER_05 35:17

I don't know how else to put it. Risk it for, you know, your wedding. It doesn't matter. You don't sound like the kind of person that is worth risking it for.

SPEAKER_01 35:25

No, and then when does that stop? Like, you know, like thank you for going tanning, but also like you look a lot older than everybody else in the wedding party, so you have to go get some work done.

SPEAKER_05 35:34

It's because some like, you know, like uh uh cheek poles and a nip tuck.

SPEAKER_01 35:38

It reminds me of something I would have seen on an episode of Bridezilla's back in the day. Like that one bride who went around and was like, girdle, chin wax, deodorant. What is that?

SPEAKER_05 35:50

Like she just loved Bridezilla growing up. It was one of my guilty pleasures.

SPEAKER_01 35:53

That's what it reminds me of. It deeply reminds me of like this isn't real. Like, do you really like you're going like too far down? Like this this timeline for your wedding is down to the 30-second increments at this point. Like, if you're making people tan, either that or like something else went horribly wrong, and you're looking for something in your control. And your bridal party is not in your control. They could all say no thanks tomorrow. They don't have to be there.

SPEAKER_05 36:25

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 36:26

You know, they're doing you a favor and you're also doing them an honor. Yeah, also like you get to be the tan person.

SPEAKER_05 36:32

Yeah. If you okay, two solutions to this.

SPEAKER_01 36:37

You have to stand out in a better way.

SPEAKER_05 36:39

One is to just not do it. That's the best solution, I think, is to not require somebody to get a tan. But two is like, dude, take your wedding party to a joint bachelor, bachelorette party down to like Miami or something.

SPEAKER_01 36:52

Yes, or something. Like, I mean, like, if you can afford to do 10 things for each person.

SPEAKER_05 36:58

I don't know what Zoom tan you know charges nowadays, but it was$9.99 as the theme song used to, but price is pretty crazy nowadays.

SPEAKER_03 37:07

I bet you it's probably gone up.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

Prices and participation may vary. Like who knows? But like you obviously have some weird priorities or weird insecurities about yourself that you're pushing on to other people, which is also a huge problem.

SPEAKER_05 37:22

Amy, I don't like that you're six foot two and the rest of us are. I'm going to need you to Lord Farquad yourself for the rest of the I'm gonna need you to like half your shins. Go make your own.

SPEAKER_01 37:33

I need you to be on your knees all day with fake shoes in front of you, and you're gonna have to walk like this.

SPEAKER_05 37:39

Like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 37:40

Like I said, you're gonna have to Lord Farquad yourself at the wedding.

SPEAKER_05 37:42

That's so good. That would be great. Um Amy, I've I hired this um normal sized person to portray you at my wedding. So she will be you and the person who's gonna be a good one.

SPEAKER_01 37:53

We're gonna be doing a full body cast of you a deep fake center style, and uh yes.

SPEAKER_05 37:59

Like you're gonna wear this halo rig, and then we're gonna have the body double do the deep fake of you. VFX you into it.

SPEAKER_01 38:06

What we're actually gonna do is because nobody else is as tall as you, we're gonna have you carry two bridesmaids down the aisle at a time. So all of your pictures, you're all at eye level. She's just gonna like twin mom carry them down the aisle.

SPEAKER_05 38:20

Since Stacy is six foot three, I guess we all have to wear shoes that make us a six foot three. So they're wearing like the platform, like all the way.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

Imagine your four foot ten mother being in that wedding, just having to stilts her way down the aisle.

SPEAKER_05 38:34

I um I condemn this bride. Um, and I sentence you to the groom for getting his jacket on the day, nobody having the right shoe sizes, and you get a lot of blisters on your feet. Yeah. I I sentence you to having everybody leave your wedding and go, wow, this wedding sucked.

SPEAKER_01 38:55

I sentence you to the day before your wedding, a pale bride fad starts when you look like the idiot at your wedding. I uh yeah, the new thing in is to be like a powder snow white bride. Like that's a thing.

SPEAKER_05 39:10

Yeah, dude. That's that's what the wedding party should do is compact that as like a trend and be like, look at this post. Uh, this was 2016, so or 2015. Yeah. So look at this post from oh, look at this post that's got three hundred million likes of a pale bride. You want to be a pale bride.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

Your dress is gonna come in and it's gonna be black, so you look even paler on the day.

SPEAKER_05 39:35

Oh man. What do you think?

SPEAKER_01 39:37

What do you think how far do you think people should have control over their bridal party? Like, you know, have you been one of those people who's very like, we're all doing our hair the same way, nails are the same, we're all gonna do teeth whitening together. Like, how far is too far when it comes to that?

SPEAKER_05 39:58

Let us know. We want to hear all about it. If you have anything for us to talk about, react to, feel free to DM us at for better or worse on either Instagram or TikTok. You can also email us at for better or worse podcasts. No, for better or worse pod at gmail.com. It's new and I'm still getting used to it.

SPEAKER_01 40:19

So I have a vendor story that I would like to share with you. I gotta scroll back to it. I know. Venderbender. Do you remember that old commercial where it was like, ooh, fender bender? Was that an all state commercial? Oh, I knew. No, don't you remember? It was like they had they're like, yeah, instead of having somebody actually come help, we just hired this like barbershop quartet to talk about what's going on. He like crashes. Ooh, fender bender.

SPEAKER_05 40:44

And then they have the pirate shirts.

SPEAKER_01 40:46

Free credit report.

SPEAKER_05 40:48

I knew you would know. I hate you.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

Okay, so this comes from a Midwestern wedding online Facebook group that yes, I have infiltrated. I have become one of them. I am the avatar.

SPEAKER_05 41:01

You're there's no corner of Facebook that's safe anymore. Manda is there. I am there.

SPEAKER_01 41:05

And I'm not even myself in it. So don't go looking for me because I'm not even there. You don't know it's me. All right. Long post ahead of our unfortunate experience from this wedding painter. We spent$3,000 for a live painting on our wedding day and have never received the painting. Right?

SPEAKER_03 41:25

Not good.

SPEAKER_01 41:26

What happened was supposed to be the most treasured keepsake from our wedding, has turned into the most agonizing issue to deal with. The only thing my husband wanted at the wedding was a live painting. He made huge sacrifices to make our make this even happen, and this painting was the only thing he wanted. My mother-in-law was kind enough to gift this to us as we weren't able to afford it ourselves. We opted for the 18 by 24 with couple only and the cocktail hour guest illustrations, coming out to nearly$3,000. The painter did offer some great flexibility with payments from my mother-in-law, and they were spread out more than originally planned. However, the painter received their final payment a month before our wedding. So everything was squared away, even though it wasn't like how the payments are traditionally done with this this company. I was very communicative with this painter regarding the payments and mentioned several times if the painter needed to terminate the contract due to late payments, then we would understand. The painter always insisted that this was no issue. We had our final planning call two days before the wedding, and I was so eager uh for our final product after hearing how warm and kind this painter was over the phone.

SPEAKER_05 42:49

So far, it sounds like this painter rules. Right, very accommodating.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

It truly seemed like this painter was a major catalyst in making our wedding day special. We spoke about having a grand reveal at the end of the night to see the painting. When it came to our wedding day, the painter gave us no indications that we should worry about receiving our finished painting. We never did get a grand reveal. Our guests left earlier than we anticipated, and the painter remained at the venue working on the painting while some of the guests stayed and we concluded our night. I am not aware of the exact time our painter left, but there was no grand reveal, and none of our other vendors or family members were notified that this painter was leaving. No. This is such a long thing. So, like this is buckling up.

SPEAKER_05 43:37

I won't interrupt.

SPEAKER_01 43:39

Um Our coordinator was only contracted until 8 p.m. and had thoroughly communicated with my maid of honor and the venue manager to ensure all cleanup and end of the night duties were understood and accounted for. My maid of honor, brothers, mother, brother in law, and other family members. Members worked together to clear the venue and complete the checklist for the venue manager. My husband and I even remained at the venue until close to 9 p.m. helping load our car. The venue manager completed a walkthrough and confirmed that the venue was clear and back to its original state. We would have been charged for any remaining items or incomplete cleanup. In the days following our wedding, all of the items in our car and my maid of honors car were unloaded and sorted to be either returned for rentals and or sold and stored. Fast forward to one month following our wedding. The painter then responded, stating she finished the painting on site and did not take it with her. She claimed that she would check her studio in case her partner who showed up uh close to the end of the night uh had might have accidentally brought it with them when they left. Over the next couple of days, we emailed back and forth trying to narrow down where our final painting was, as I had checked with all of our other vendors, family members, and people at the venue to confirm that nobody knew where the painting was left behind when the painter was leaving. The painter's explanation of what was done with the painting before they left changed multiple times throughout our emails.

SPEAKER_03 45:30

No.

SPEAKER_01 45:30

First, they stated they left uh it organized in a labeled box with a few remaining guest portraits that were not yet claimed and notified the planner that it was safely packaged and they were leaving. They acknowledged uh we didn't get to do a reveal because we were apparently occupied with farewells. This raised an alarm for us as our coordinator had left before the painter. See, now this doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me because in the beginning of it, they say that like the venue manager and the coordinator, the venue manager left, but the coordinator was there or vice versa, and they did a checklist.

SPEAKER_05 46:07

So like confirmed that everything was done. Right.

SPEAKER_01 46:09

So I think that there might have been a miscommunication as to who was who there. So I'll I'll that's what I get from reading this.

SPEAKER_05 46:15

Yeah, so far I'm con I'm so I I have a theory of what's going on, but you keep going.

SPEAKER_01 46:20

Oh, we're gonna keep going. Yep, because we're not done. Um this raised an alarm for us as our coordinator had left before the painter, and the venue manager and all other vendors confirmed that the painter did not speak to them before leaving. Their claim that they notified the planner before leaving uh before leaving of the painting's whereabouts was false. My maid of honor also collected those final guest portraits during cleanup and confirmed there was no labeled box with the painting near the guest portraits. I responded to the painter asking clarifying questions as her explanation was not adding up. They responded, placing blame on everyone else about the mishandling of the painting after they had left, though nobody was able to confirm that this painting was left behind or that she communicated this with anyone. We requested the picture they claimed uh they had multiple times since we didn't ever get to see what our painting looked like. However, the painter stopped responding to my emails two days later. I had uh requested a sufficient solution, considering that this cost nearly$3,000, including options for her repainting it from the photo that they allegedly took, a refund or a print of it uh along with a partial refund.

SPEAKER_02 47:41

Yeah, jeez.

SPEAKER_01 47:42

I finally received an email from her four days after that from their personal email with only a picture of their notes from the planning call, which only further indicated that we had discussed a grand reveal at the end of our night with our photographer capturing our reaction. I highlighted this in the response to that photo, and they responded stating that our reveal happened by us approaching the painting on our own that night. So they weren't able to coordinate a reveal with our photographer. This was shocking to read since we went to check on the progress and saw the painting around 7:30, and it was clearly incomplete. Um we saw the outlines done and some of the painting progress. We were so excited to later see the final product. The painter uh sent another email the following day in which they continued to place blame on the venue, the coordinator, and maybe my family members for mishandling the painting after they left. They stated that they that they did not have an intention of recreating the painting and would again offer a print or a studio rate uh for us to purchase a new painting. I responded a day after that, restating that I had checked with all vendors and was unable to confirm that the painter actually communicated with anybody, that they were leaving and uh without the painting. I also uh restated my questions as to who they spoke to. Uh, since they didn't notify anybody, I emailed them again nine days later and got no response formally stating our concerns and requesting a prompt response with a photo of the painting, clear, consistent explanation of the timeline when they left, the final product being handled, and additional any additional documentation to explain what happened. As of today, two and a half months after the wedding, we have no response. I tried several times to handle this directly with the painter, but their continued lack of response and clarity about the situation is completely unprofessional. This entire experience is now tainted, and we have no live painting to show for our$3,000 that my mother spent as a gift for what was supposed to be the most memorable component of our wedding to us.

SPEAKER_05 49:52

God, this sucks. Right? There's a whole situation. Sounds like it sucks.

SPEAKER_01 49:57

There's so many things that seem to be happening in this entire situation.

SPEAKER_05 50:03

I know for a fact that I've been at wedding venues, and I'm like, where'd the coordinator go?

SPEAKER_01 50:12

The person that's been with us all day.

SPEAKER_05 50:14

Yeah, where'd the venue owner go? And they're like, oh, they dipped like an hour ago.

SPEAKER_01 50:17

Yeah, they leave, and then like three guys are in charge.

SPEAKER_05 50:20

Yeah.

unknown 50:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 50:21

You're a you, you know, three teenagers in polo shirts. Which one of you do I tell that, you know, somebody set a chair on fire out in the parking lot? Right?

SPEAKER_01 50:29

You know, like um, yeah, all the toilets are yelling at me. I don't know what to do. Also, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?

SPEAKER_05 50:38

You're excused. That sucks.

SPEAKER_01 50:40

What it's it sounded So, like if you were to try to solve this situation, what's the first thing you're gonna do? Is like the couple.

SPEAKER_05 50:47

I only have the bride's point of view, the couple's point of view so far.

SPEAKER_01 50:50

So right, but like just from that situation alone, where are you going?

SPEAKER_05 50:54

I'm guessing that the the painter finished the painting and did leave it at the venue. How do we confirm that? I'm guessing well, there's no way to confirm that. I'm guessing that oh well, so here's the thing. Does the venue have cameras?

SPEAKER_01 51:13

That's your first thought, right? Like when you like this is a wedding that occurred uh late last year in 2025. Um it's at a somewhat modern venue. They do not have any cameras. What? There are no cameras in this venue.

SPEAKER_05 51:30

This is just like the one last time.

SPEAKER_01 51:32

There are no cameras in this venue.

SPEAKER_05 51:33

Why if you have a venue and you're charging thousands of dollars, use thousands of dollars to make cameras, because I cannot stress this enough. Why would a venue not have cameras Year of our Lord 2026 where situations just like this?

SPEAKER_01 51:51

2025.

SPEAKER_05 51:52

Okay, sorry. I'll give you a pass. It's a different year. We're all different.

SPEAKER_01 51:57

We're starting new. Yeah, there's no cameras in this venue. Okay, so there are no cameras in this venue at all. So we can't confer this. Is fully a game of clue at this point. We have to go deeper into this to try to figure out what happened.

SPEAKER_05 52:11

So for if I were to take a if I were to take a guess, I do believe the painter did paint the painting because they Like why would they take it with them?

SPEAKER_01 52:18

Why yeah? Why would they take it with them?

SPEAKER_05 52:20

And if they did take them, take it with them. Why would they keep it? Why would they why wouldn't they be able to find it? Like right? You and I have lost like things before, like wedding film equipment that Why would anybody keep it? Oh, it was just in the trunk of the car. Like that, you know what I mean? Right.

SPEAKER_01 52:35

Like So the uh according to the painter, they packaged up the final painting and the guest portraits that were not claimed yet. Like the caricature portrait-esque things were not um they're painting and doing little like caricatures. Little little moments at like back and forth at the same time. Cool, cool, cool. Um, I'm assuming it was probably like uh like how it is at like the bar, like the bar is closed from this time to this time. Like, no, I'm not doing caricature portraits because I'm working on this, but it'll be open for you know, whatever during this time and then you know, back and forth or whatever, like you know, tapping in and tapping out of those two things. Um I'm assuming so, otherwise unless you're doing like a back and forth painting. Yeah. Um but so apparently the venue coordinator left at eight. Or the wedding planner left at eight.

SPEAKER_07 53:30

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 53:31

The uh painter left shortly thereafter speaking to the venue coordinator. So there's a wedding planner who was there and a venue coordinator. So, like two separate entities, yeah, both kind of in charge for the day running smoothly.

SPEAKER_03 53:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:51

I don't know who the painter thought which one was which. Do you know what I mean? Like, who knows if they got to the venue and the venue coordinator was the one telling them what to do. And then the wedding plan, maybe it was the wedding planner or that left, and they were like, Well, I don't know what else to do because I they left. I don't know what to who to speak to. Like it seems like there was some type of you know, well, no, I spoke to the manager. Who'd you talk to? The guy in the red polo? That's just a guy in a red polo. He doesn't even work here. Why did you tell? I don't know. He said okay. You know, like it seems to be like that's what happened. Um according to everybody, the people that pat like cleaned up the venue at the end of the evening. The maid of honor went to go pick up things from where the painter was and only removed the guest portraits. Said that only the guest portraits were there. There was no box with a painting in it. Um that also is hearsay. Yeah, that's like it is unconfirmed. The bride obviously trusts her maid of honor more than anything, but also who's to say that maybe somebody didn't come along and go, oh no, a present that got left behind. It needs to go where the other presents go and got moved somewhere.

SPEAKER_05 55:07

Who knows if somebody was like in a cardboard box, like you know, that didn't have anything on it. Like I put it where the sparklers go because this is what the sparkler box is. This is our prop back room that we have for all the like random things that we have at the venue for other people. Who knows? I just put it back there.

SPEAKER_01 55:22

All we know is it's gone missing, and there have been a lot of hands moving around the venue at the time of the painting's disappearance.

SPEAKER_03 55:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:30

So the painter gave the bride the benefit of the doubt and said, I did not take it with me. However, my partner showed up to help me pack up at the end of the night. Maybe they grabbed it. I will do my due diligence and check the studio to see if he accidentally grabbed it and put it with the belongings from that night. I don't see why he would have, but of course, I will check that for you. Upon looking for that, no painting was found. The painter goes, I did everything I was supposed to, I packaged it up. The end of the night, you were gone. I don't know where you were. A lot of your guests left, you were gone. I couldn't find anybody, so I was like, Okay, I guess we're not doing this, and I left.

SPEAKER_05 56:15

But you know, at that point, the photographers were gone too because they liked the Irish goodbye as well. So who knows?

SPEAKER_01 56:21

But the the painter did say you seem to be preoccupied with farewells. So who knows if the bride and groom had disappeared for a while, and they were just like, Yeah, are we doing this? Like maybe they got swept away, whatever. Here it is. I told somebody, who knows what happened after that. The fact that there are no cameras to confirm anything is a problem.

SPEAKER_05 56:42

And the fact my biggest point of blame right now is the painter not making sure. They they probably made sure as much as they thought they should have, but like if your point of contact is the bride and groom, they are the they are.

SPEAKER_01 56:56

Or your contract is with the m the mother-in-law. Yeah, that's who it goes to it's got to. So, like, obviously, I will give you know the benefit of the doubt of like maybe they did, but also people can kind of get a little crazy at weddings, people get forgetful, like, hey, you said you were gonna go grab myself. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I got caught up talking to so and so. I've had a couple drinks tonight, I haven't been eating a lot. Like things can happen. We still have no idea what's happened because once again, there's no cameras. However, a lot of the comments on this post are like, oh my god, how do you even know if she painted it? Like, she could have taken it. What did oh my god, whatever. So I did some internet sleuthing. I went Amanda. I had to know because I was getting really, really upset for both parties. I was really upset if because the bride didn't get her painting, and I was also really upset that one, the painter was being dragged, even though they were steadfast in what they said happened.

SPEAKER_07 58:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:06

I felt very like, if you didn't do anything wrong, you shouldn't be told you did something wrong. And also, I feel like there should have been much more fail-safes put into place that failed both parties yet again.

SPEAKER_07 58:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:18

Um, especially with this being like the most important aspect of your day, I feel like there would have been uh safety fail-safes put in place for this treasured possession. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's like, who's gonna be handling grandpa's ashes throughout the day? Like, we're not just gonna be like, hey, can you take grandpa's ashes and go put them in the back room and then they end up in some random room and somebody's like, oh yeah, this is that weird planter we have to go outside. But like we decided not to go with that. It's going in the dumpster, like, grandpa, no.

SPEAKER_05 58:44

That's probably what happened to the paint, the painting. They probably were well.

SPEAKER_01 58:47

So that's that's the thing.

SPEAKER_05 58:48

Who it it totally could have barber box with the, you know, oh, it's just whatever.

SPEAKER_01 58:53

Yeah, right. Like, who knows if it was upside down there? Like, there's nothing in here.

SPEAKER_05 58:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:57

Do you know what I mean? Like, who knows? Um, even though the painter said that they labeled the box wedding painting, but like who knows if like they opened it and were like, oh, maybe this was the box used to bring the painting there. There's nothing in here.

SPEAKER_05 59:07

People that work at wedding venues can't read, babe. Shut down.

SPEAKER_01 59:12

You're such an idiot. So a lot of people were like, Oh my god, they scammed you out of all this money. Like, you need to sue them, you need to do whatever. Like, why aren't they painting for you again? And the painter is like, I painted you a portrait, y'all lost it. You lost it. Somebody lost it, somebody threw it away. I have a picture of it, and I will gladly put it on a print for you and whatever. But I painted at your wedding, I did the caricature portraits. It's not my fault. It's like driving a car off of a lot and then crashing it and being like, I need a new car. You crashed the car. I gave you the car, I built the car, you crashed it.

SPEAKER_05 59:52

It'd be the stupidest scam ever to scan. And also, there's no proof because right, is doing all the work and then doing all the work and then taking the back. Whatever, right? It's like that's the stupidest scam ever.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:05

It's like knitting somebody a quilt out of like personalized t-shirts and then keeping it. Like these t-shirts mean nothing to you.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:11

You didn't go to Bush Gardens as a child. These scam artists. That's my problem is the bride's approaching it like she got scammed and not like there was a mistake or a mishandling.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:20

And I can understand because apparently, and you can see in the back and forth emails of the timeline that they set up, there was supposed to be a grand reveal. But once again, there seems to be a lot of communication issues just from what I'm seeing from everybody. It seemed a little too everybody's helping, but nobody knows how to, you know, type thing. So who knows what ended up actually happening. I know a little bit more about what happened because I did go to this bride's page, like her personal Facebook page, to one, the whole reason I went there was to find what venue it was at. Because I wanted to see if there are cameras at this venue and they just weren't telling her.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:04

Right. So that's that's why I did this. I didn't do this just to like put a face to the drama of what was going on. I did this to find the venue. So I went, I went to the bride's Facebook page and I found a picture from her wedding that was her profile picture. And I could not find uh the venue itself wasn't tagged. The photographer was also not tagged in this professional wedding picture from the day. So I did what any other person would do. I looked at who liked this picture and I went to each person's Facebook page to see if they attended this wedding. Babe. Oh my god. I did it for the podcast and for my own personal endeavor. Honestly, it's because I care very much about the truth. Yeah. Very, very I have a high sense of justice in the other intentions. I do, 100%.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:02

Um not creeping at all. So I found creepy, I'm a journalist.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:06

So I found three different people who liked this picture that attended this wedding, who all took cell phone pictures throughout the day. I was able to take these cell phone pictures and Google image search to find the venue. Holy shit. So I found where this venue is, and also I was able to narrow it down because the wedding group that uh they're a part of lists what state they're in. So I was able to narrow it down based on what state they're in. State, city, and not this, I couldn't get the city, just the state, but this venue is a very like it's a it's a somewhat unique venue. Okay. Like it's not just like a white building with chandeliers. It is a unique looking venue. I was able to find it, and I went through so many. I went to their Facebook page, like the venue's own page. I went to their wedding planning page. I looked up other people that have had weddings at this place, like things, place um, I went to people's like Instagram that tagged the venue. Like I looked through their tags to see if anybody had had their wedding there to see better pictures of this venue. And I just from looking, I do not see any physical cameras there. Okay. Not even on the outside of the venue, like security cameras. I see nothing.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:19

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:20

Um, so then I was like, okay, now I gotta go see if I can at all see this wedding painting happening. And one of the guests actually took a picture of the live painter doing this painting. So I have seen what this painting looks like when it's about 60% done. Can I see it? Of course you can, because I have it. So hold on, I gotta go through. This is all the emails I'm swiping through the back and forth emails between the painter and the quarter and the that's how you got all that information of like, oh, the painter checked with their partner and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:54

They had like emails back and forth.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:56

So this is a pit this is the picture of the venue, the day of the wedding, right? So you can see it's not a typical wedding venue.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:02

No, it's not.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:03

Right. It's got like some more like I wonder if it's very common in that area. You know what I mean? Like this type of vibe, the same way, like if you were to get married on like the coast of Maine, they all like lighthouses.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:14

Yes, yes. It's got like a darker siding, it's got like very reddish wood.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:18

A lot of floor-to-ceiling windows in the place.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:20

It's very like a golf club, but with cobblestone instead of like you know, instead of like um, they're usually like glass, glass and like st and and flat wood. There's the picture. There's the painting.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:33

It's happening in real time.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:35

If you zoom in.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:37

So you can see that it's like there's nothing wrong with it. It's happening. It's it's it's very pretty.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:43

It's very pretty.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:44

You can tell when in you know what time it's based off of, like when in their wedding day they posed for this.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:51

Yeah. So it exists.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:53

It's there.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:54

The painting exists. The painting does exist.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:58

And right next to her is a big trash can.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:08

So I went even farther. How much farther can you go?

SPEAKER_06 1:05:13

I reached out to the painter. I did, I reached out to the bride and to the painter.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:27

Why? Because one, the painter was being dragged like crazy all over the internet. Um like they were getting one starred all over their Google page from people all over the place. Just one star, one star, one star, one star. And then there was also people telling the bride that she just wanted a free painting because her family lost it, or her venue lost it, or her venue should recoup this. Like, there was a lot of just like anger, no solution.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:59

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:00

A lot of a lot of retaliatory statements, a lot of just like non-helpful things. And I wanted to be able to be like, hey, has anybody done this? You know, did you have a photographer taking? Was there a videographer?

SPEAKER_05 1:06:15

So I made- I would have totally taken videos of them painting.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:18

Every live painter that we've ever done, I have made it a point to capture multiple different shots of that work. Because heaven forbid something happened, you can at least take a screenshot of it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:30

You know what I mean? She has a picture of it too. That's the thing. Is like if she has a picture of it, then it's done. Right. Did she show them the picture of it? Eventually she did. Okay. So eventually, eventually she did.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:42

So I'll tell you what happened. Um, so I reached out to the painter first and I was like, hey, as somebody who's worked weddings before, I have been there on the day when things have unfortunately that were very important have gone missing through no fault of the person who was doing it before. Right. Um, you know, like we've had people who have brought like personal props to um photo booths that people have thought were just kind of throwaway things and took them home with them. Or the venue has disposed of things that they thought were just things, but ended up being very sentimental. And things like that happen when there's a billion people and a billion moving parts. It happens. It's unfortunate, but it happens. And the painter uh let me know like I have done so many, this has never happened to me in my entire life. I've I put so many fail-safes into place. I can't believe there were no cameras at the venue. Like it was, it was actually very, very sad. And I was like, I'm pulling for you. I hope the truth comes out. Like, you know, like there are people who are very, very like understanding, even though you are getting dragged right now. Things happen.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:50

Things happen, and you know, it might not be your fault. Maybe you could have handled other things better, but like you are not deserving getting bombed like this because people think it's your fault when we don't have proof it's your fault.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:02

It's a hundred percent because the bride approached it like she was scamming them and not like there was a mistake.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:07

There was something bad happened.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:09

And I understand when communication breaks down because you could also tell that this fit this uh painter was like, I don't know what you want me to do. I painted this for you, it's gone. I can do this or this, but I'm not refunding you. I painted it. Yeah, I did it, I made it for you, it's gone. I mean, like, that's like to me, it makes me think of like, yeah, no, I made your cake and I delivered it and I gave it to so-and-so. They threw it out, yeah. Or like they they cut that, they thought that was the cut cake instead of like the display cake. I can't make you another cake right now. Like I did it. It's not my fault, it was mishandled.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:46

And you're not gonna want it anyway because Exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:49

Because at this point, like, you know, whatever. Um, so I then messaged the bride. Um crazy. No, because like I want them to have their wedding painting. I do. And I also like would also like for her to stop making like not threats, but like amping up the people that are like down with this person, they should never paint at weddings again. And no thing. Being mad at your venue that there's no cameras.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:15

Yes, how about that?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:16

How about we start with that? Or how about we try to figure out exactly what happened? Because, you know, the fact that the bride was like, and the painter was blaming everybody else. And it's like, were they blaming everybody else, or were they telling you what happened? And you like, I don't know the state the bride was in at the end of the night. No. Sometimes at the end of the night, we've spoken, you know, to couples and they're like, when did you leave? And it's like, babe, you walked us to our car and helped me buckle my seatbelt. You don't remember. Plus, things happen.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:45

If this venue has like a strict, you have to clean up and get out of their policy, then who knows how many people were chucking and running and chucking and running. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:53

So, but like I said, we I still don't know what the the, you know, it's like DW snowball in Arthur. We'll never know. Aliens could have came and gotten it.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:03

You know? Um, but so like I said, I reached out to the bride and I was like, hey, you know, I'm I'm a wedding videographer. Things like this have happened before. Does anybody have just like from dancing around at the end of the night? Like, hasn't did anybody take Snapchats? Was anybody just walking around filming people dancing? Could you catch a time when she left? Could you see that the painter had all of their stuff with them? You know, did your photographer get any shots of people dancing and you can see the painter in the background? Whatever, knowing full well that this picture on somebody's Facebook exists of where they were. So I know so I know that this exists at least unfinished. I know it exists. I know that this painter wasn't just like licking the canvas and pretending to paint anytime someone came by. You know what I mean? Like it exists. So I, you know, the bride was just like, I don't know. I'm at a complete loss. It's this is insane. And I was like, well, go back through people's Facebooks and ask literally anybody who was at the wedding, hey, even if you took a 10-second video, can you, you know, see if you can see if they've left by then? Can you see if you know anybody's like who knows if like in the background you can see somebody walking out with it? Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 1:11:26

So it'd be easy if they then you had cameras.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:29

I know. That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't know if they had a videographer either. I wasn't able to get that information. Um, but the only thing that I've heard is that the painter has offered to recreate the painting free of charge, and I don't know what other things have been done, but they're still getting their painting. Yeah. And that way they can just move on from it. It is heartbreaking, this entire situation for both parties. And I don't know. That all sucks. I don't know like what the end of the mystery was.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:02

The end of the mystery is that the ventures.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:04

Cameras need to be in the camera out! So, from what I was able to figure out, is that the um unfortunately the wedding painter got one star review bombed, even though they only had had five star reviews everywhere, from people just being like, Oh my god, you're a terrible terrible person. I can't believe that you would mishandle things so terribly, and even afterwards, why didn't you give them something else? Why didn't you whatever? And I even saw like the the guest portraits that they did, and they're they're pretty dope. I mean, like, these aren't anything that are, you know, something to turn your nose up at. But um, even the responses from the painter on like the Google reviews and stuff like that are like, I am so deeply disturbed by this. Like, I did this with it. I did like they've remained pretty consistent, even though the bride seems to say that they're not being consistent with their response. To me, it makes sense. Like everything that I I don't have an emotional tie in any of this, right? But you know, I do. Um, so what I've seen.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:06

I think that she's nuts. No, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:09

No, no, so what um what has happened is is that the um the painter has decided to repaint it and just give it to them and be done with it, um, and you know, kind of eat that or whatever. But it it does tremendously suck, especially if somebody knows exactly what happened to that painting and just doesn't want to say anything about it.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:33

Yeah, you could be the hero of the story if you and at least let people know and apologize for it.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:37

Like, I wouldn't even expect you to like necessarily pay for it. I just want to know what the hell happened.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:42

I know, right? Like it sucks that she's gotta waste time redoing it. No, sorry, I'm gonna not waste, say waste. It sucks that she has to spend time redoing it, even though she did it once, because it's like painting um probably akin to like video editing, where it just it takes so long such a it's such a detailed process.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:05

Well, also they have the reference painting right there. So it's not something that they really have to go like and they're not going back and forth with doing guest portraits as well. This is just like a do it on your own time, I'll get it to you soon. It's gonna be the same one, just here you go, have it. Congratulations on your everlasting love.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:22

I think I think the um the big the big thing here is that a lot of venues need cameras. That's the biggest thing. That's the topic. The biggest thing is that venues need cameras, but the second biggest thing is that when people are booking you for their wedding, they are half booking you for your work and they are half booking you for the experience. Yeah, so you have to make sure that like if part of your experience is like a grand reveal of your painting, you gotta stick around for a bit. Sorry, dude. You you can't leave until you do that. I don't care if your contract says you're only there for a certain amount of hours. You cannot leave until that's done. And so only to avoid stuff like this. This is no fault of the painter, but this is the fault of if it happens again to them. This is why.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:09

Yeah, because they can double check, make sure I guarantee you that there's a whole bunch of new processes that are put in place that are like other couples might be like, Yes, I see the painting. Yeah, yes, I see putting it. Are you okay? And they're like, I have to do this now to ensure that you have it. You know what I mean? It's like the it's it's probably how some people feel on Disney rides when they're like, Why do I have to pull on this yellow tab, put my hands up, show that I've because there was one time where it didn't somebody didn't do it and something bad happened and it they should have buckled up, but they didn't. But because it was their the you know, the the worker's job to make sure they were buckled, XYZ.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:54

Put shit in your contract that that covers all of this kind of stuff. Yeah. Try to make your insurance, if you have business insurance, which you should have business insurance, if you have business insurance, try to make them pay for any refunds that you give. Um, or have the venue's insurance do it because it seems to be the venue's fault according to you, and they would have to disprove it, and they can't because they don't have cameras. I'm not a no legal advice here, but this is what I would do. This is how I approach it. And um the the the very the very very very important thing is like make sure that you reveal it to someone. If when we have like a mom that books us, guess who I'm saying goodbye to at the end of the night too?

SPEAKER_01 1:16:38

Guess who I'm showing like a shot of like the sparkler tunnel to at the end of the night?

SPEAKER_05 1:16:43

To the mom. Yeah, you know, I I'm making sure that they see something and then they know that we're leaving like goodbye to it. We're out of here, love you. You'll see something. Even if we don't even have a good relationship with the mom on the day, they just like hired us or whatever. I'm still like, see you later. Like, oh, everything's beautiful. Oh, you'll see something in a few days. Bye. Make sure you get a cupcake. Yes, they're good, they're really good, you know. So that's that's my only advice is uh yeah, uh write a contract that protects you from this kind of bullshit.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:13

Yeah, if you've had anything on your wedding day go missing or something crazy like that happened, let us know. I would love to hear about it and how things ended up at the end.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:24

Yes, please send it over to us.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:26

Tune in next week when we are going to talk about lawn games at weddings and if cornhole is the best or if there are other options that uh could be better on a wedding day.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:36

I've got a fun little game for us to play in order to make sure, yes, to make sure that we pick who is the champ of long games during weddings.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:45

Looking forward to it. Well, that was for better or worse. We release new podcasts every single Monday. So if you would like to, don't forget to RSVP to this channel by clicking subscribe and to be notified when we put out a new video. Don't forget to ring the wedding bell below. Bye. Bye.