What the Heck! Hospitalist Nerd Words

Some medical words sound like pasta, spells, or something your doctor made up on the spot and that’s exactly why we play “What The Heck Is That?” Dr. Ben is joined by Dr. Jennifer, a hospitalist who lives in the world of hospital medicine, plus comedian Marcus Saputo, who tries to pronounce wild-looking terms and guess what they mean before we translate them into plain English.

We unpack pancytopenia (when multiple blood counts are low), then jump to pneumoperitoneum, a term that matters because it can point to free air in the abdomen and a true surgical emergency. From there we hit onychomycosis (toenail fungus that sounds way more serious than it usually is) and hypernatremia (elevated sodium), using each word to show how prefixes and roots can help you decode medical terminology in your chart, a lab result, or a discharge summary.

The longest tongue-twister is idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura, better known as ITP, and it sparks a real talk about why clinicians use abbreviations and what “idiopathic” can honestly mean. We wrap with splenomegaly, how an enlarged spleen comes up in real patient care, and why clear explanations are part of patient safety.

If you like funny learning with practical takeaways, subscribe, share this with a friend who hates medical jargon, and leave a review. What’s the most confusing medical term you’ve ever heard?

THANKS TO OUR GUESTS:

Dr Jennifer: Internal Medicine, Hospitalist

Marcus Saputo: IG/TT/YT/FB @marcussaputo https://marcussaputo.com/

Subscribe wherever you listen, share this with a friend and leave a review so more people can find honest conversations about healthcare and a little comedy along the way.

This episode was produced by Angie Debelak with post-production editing by Ben Hill Sound.

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Transcript

Welcome to the game!

SPEAKER_02 0:10

All right, knock knock howdy folks. Dr. Ben here with the Dr. Ben and Friends podcast. We're putting the med in comedy. Now we have guest Dr. Jennifer, who is a hospitalist. She does hospital medicine and takes care of you while you are in the hospital. And we have very hilarious Marcus Saputo, hilarious stand-up comedian. And uh we're gonna play What the Heck Is That? And so medical terminology Dr. Jennifer and I are very familiar with and see these words all day, every day. But uh um people that aren't in medicine, it's very foreign to them. Medicine, you almost have to learn a new language, all the different terms that uh we have to learn in medical school. So um I'm not sure exactly why we do that, but maybe to sound smart or something, but we have to come up with a different word for everything. Like we can just call it gallstones, it's you know, kolidoco lithiasis or something.

SPEAKER_04 1:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

So but we're gonna show Marcus here some medical terms, and he's gonna

Pancytopenia And Low Blood Counts

SPEAKER_02 1:15

pronounce some and then uh kind of tell us what he thinks they mean. And so are we ready to play? What the heck is that? Yes, all right, Dr. Jennifer, show us show him his first.

SPEAKER_03 1:25

Show to Marcus.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

All right, what is that word?

SPEAKER_03 1:28

Pan kaito pina. Very close.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

Kaito pina.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

What do you think that is type of pasta? No, it sounds like I mean, I think it's a close relative to mostacholis. Mustacholis. It's got the little, yeah. Or you got it sounds a little bit like you got pancakes. You ate too many pancakes and you got heartburn from that, is what I'm thinking is why. Very close. The root of the word is pancake, for those who don't know. All right. Was he close, Dr. Jetson?

SPEAKER_00 2:00

It was very close with the pronunciation. It's pan cytopenia. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

Good job.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

Yes, it was close. And then that means that uh basically all of your blood counts are low. Your hemoglobin, your red blood cell count, your white blood cell count, your platelets. Okay. From eating too many pancakes to eating too many pancakes. You can lower your blood.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

Your blood. Dr. Mark levels coming through. Exactly. Did you know that word, listener? Pancytopenia. I had no idea. All right. All right.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

This is the next word.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

These are the longest words. Wow. No, this is you guys are making stuff up. Okay, I do the dictionary. This ain't in there. It's panonia. Okay. You got to get phenomenon. That's right. I think it's made up, but this is look, I speak Italian some, and this is definitely something they would make up. Okay. Uh I think that it's something to do with m pneumonia. Okay. Okay. But I think it's not it's not your regular pneumonia, all right? Okay. That they ain't putting you in the tent for this one. Okay. I'll tell you that. You gotta get an MRI or something. You're your lungs are about to fall out of your body

Pneumoperitoneum And Surgical Red Flags

SPEAKER_03 3:25

at this point. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

I like it.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

All right. So what is it? Pneumoperitoneum.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

And that is air in the abdomen, uh, which is not normal. Uh you shouldn't have any free air in the abdomen. And so that's what that is. Fancy way to say free air in the abdomen.

SPEAKER_02 3:44

Oh. How how would where how would you get air in your abdomen?

SPEAKER_00 3:47

Um, you could get that from a perforated organ, from a perforated stomach, colon, anything like that, uh, which is a surgical emergency.

SPEAKER_02 3:57

Okay. So you have a hole in your stomach from too much spicy pancakes. Spicy meatballs. Meatballs.

SPEAKER_00 4:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

All right. All right.

SPEAKER_02 4:08

Go see a doctor listen if you have a pneumoperitoneum.

SPEAKER_00 4:11

Yes, please. Call an ambulance.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

All right, Mark Marcus. What what the heck is this word?

SPEAKER_03 4:16

Onicomicosis. Onicomicosis. That's something that they got, you know. I think it's something to do with your your hearing. Hearing? Yeah. Hearing loss. Okay. Hearing loss. Okay. No, I think that I have no idea. I don't know the root of the word. This one's a tough one. You got a problem. If you got to probably about to pass away. So you'd be threatening out.

SPEAKER_02 4:52

Would we have to call a code blue if you have a few?

SPEAKER_03 4:53

Yeah, this would be a code blue. Code

Toenail Fungus OMG!

SPEAKER_03 4:55

blue. Start playing Kendrick Lamar, code blue. You got onicomicosis, and you're about to pass. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

Yeah. So you were very, very close on the pronunciation and sonicomarcosis. It's a toenail fungus. Oh man.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

So probably not gonna die from it. Probably not.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

But you might feel like you want to, depending on how it looks.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Yes, problem. Clip your toenails. This is a fun guy. Yeah, I'm a fun guy. If you have this, you have a fungus.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Here's

Hypernatremia - high sodium again!

SPEAKER_00 5:24

the next word.

SPEAKER_02 5:25

What is this word? What the heck is that? Hyper hyper neutremia.

SPEAKER_03 5:30

Oh, hyper neutral. Hyperneutremia. What does that mean? You overextended like your big your your you know your point of finger or something. Okay. It's like added. Yeah, it's like you hyperextended. Yes, you you hyperextended hypermia is I don't know. That's my guess. You hyperextended your your elbow or something. Okay. You got tennis elbow now.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

That's just the pronunciation was perfect. Hypernatremia. Excellent job. Yes. Uh you were actually discussing this earlier with all of your pasta intake of the red sauce. This is hypernatremia, which is elevated sodium.

SPEAKER_03 6:10

Oh sodium. That's what I got. Can I keep this one? Yeah. And hang in on my source.

SPEAKER_02 6:16

Hey. I think you should use it in conversation for the listeners.

SPEAKER_03 6:20

If you want to know, this is what I got.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

This is what you look like if you get this. All right. Too much sodium.

SPEAKER_03 6:28

Pan and just full of marinara sauce.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

And you might look swollen, wouldn't you, Dr. Jennifer? Probably so. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:35

Probably a little swollen. Dr.

SPEAKER_03 6:36

Ben's telling me our face is looking swollen today.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

We have

ITP And Why Abbreviations Exist

SPEAKER_00 6:40

time for one more?

SPEAKER_01 6:40

Uh let's do one more.

SPEAKER_00 6:42

Perfect. So this is a doozy. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:44

This looks like a tongue twister. This looks like a tongue twister. Three words. Three words. Three words. Three for the price of what we don't idiopathic thermal by toponic papura. This one has to be made up.

SPEAKER_03 7:02

This is fake. This is fake news, is what you're building. Alpha Bad soup here. Yeah, this ain't real words. Uh something's wrong with your what is it called? Your hemoglobin? Is that an item in the body? That it is an item in the body. I don't know what it does, but that's what's wrong. Something's wrong with your hemoglobin? Yeah. Yeah. You dang your your thyroids off if you got this thing. Whatever is your hemoglobin.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

That's right. So you're not far off with the hemoglobin. Okay. It's idiopathic thrombocytopenic purepura. And it is an issue with the spleen, actually, um, where there are issues with platelet production. So platelets are also a component of blood like hemoglobin. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

They help you clot if you're bleeding. Oh you need platelets so you don't bleed to death. Okay. And here your platelets are too low.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Yeah, so you're not clotting off very well.

SPEAKER_03 8:00

The spleen strikes again.

SPEAKER_02 8:01

Get rid of it. And this word idiopathic, I think, is kind of interesting. It's uh a fancy word for saying, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 8:09

Yeah, we don't know why.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

Oh, really? That means we don't know why.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

But it sounds much better than to say, I don't know why I don't know why you have thrombocy thrombocytopenic pupurices.

SPEAKER_03 8:18

So we say idiopathic doctors and I'm not because I'd walk in, I say, I don't know, we need to get rid of your spleen. I think. And they'd be like, okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

And a lot of times we use abbreviations in medicine, and this is why. So we would call this ITP. Yes. Instead of idiopathic, thrombocytopenic purpura.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

So uh and I think this was uh like you may have heard that song, uh, get down with ITP.

SPEAKER_04 8:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

Yeah, you know me. Yeah. So a naughty by nature's original song was ITP get down with ITP. That's what in the talking about this. Yes, yes, they dangerous. They knew about this messed up.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

You dang platelets ain't acting right.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

I've heard of ICP in Sane Clown Passy. Yeah, I've heard of IP. That's just another band. ICP and ITP. They're on tour together.

SPEAKER_04 9:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:07

They're stealing medical terms to

Splenomegaly And When Spleens Grow

SPEAKER_02 9:10

go with their band name.

SPEAKER_04 9:11

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

All right, listener, we got another for Dr. Marcus here. What what the heck is that? Splenom splenomagali.

SPEAKER_03 9:24

Splenomagali. What is splenomagali? Well, doctor. That's what happens when you eat too much red sauce and your spleen's clogged up with you know sodium. Okay. You get hypernatremia in your Yeah, that's that's what I that's the exact word I was thinking about. Yes. Splenomagali. Splenomagali. Yeah, I think something something's going on with your spin. Sounds like someone's less than get rid of the spleen. Whatever organs aren't working, just get rid of them.

SPEAKER_02 9:53

Okay. Yeah. Is that a procedure then? You yeah, that's when you take out someone's spinning. You can tell that splenomegaly procedure.

SPEAKER_03 9:59

I don't want my gallbladder. I don't want my heart. I don't want because it keeps breaking. Okay. Uh yeah, that's what I think. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

So splenomegaly and it's enlarged spleen.

SPEAKER_03 10:12

Enlarged spleen.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

Yeah. So you work very close.

SPEAKER_03 10:15

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Very nice. I already know this. I could be there. Enlarge spleen. Come on, I'm higher. This is the left upper quadrant listener. Yeah. So. So if you poke on it, is that how you figure it out? When the doctor comes in and you and they poke you, and you're like, hey, easy with that. What do you do? I'm like, well, kind of. They're like, well, bad. And I'm like, no. And they're like, all right, you good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

That's what that is.

SPEAKER_03 10:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

Yeah. You shouldn't be able to feel it very well. So when you do, it's enlarged. Because it'll come just below the ribs right there when you push in and feel it.

SPEAKER_03 10:49

So how do you fix it?

SPEAKER_00 10:51

So it depends, it depends on what's going on. Not replacing it. It just depends on what's going on. Sometimes there's medications that can treat the underlying issue, and sometimes the spleen has to come out.

SPEAKER_03 11:01

So you do oh, because it's the spleen. Okay. Because I'm the type I look at it, you know, because I've worked on cars or what I'm like, get a new part. Get new part. Get a new part. I'll pay you, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:12

You can with some organs. New parts. New new liver, new kidney. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

New heart at times.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I used to be against organ transplantation, but since uh since then I've kind of had a change of heart.

SPEAKER_04 11:25

Yeah. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

Uh-huh. Yeah. Now for them. All right. Good. And at my comedy shows, a lot of times, uh, there's a lot of side splitting. And so probably people's spleens are going to come out with all the side splitting.

SPEAKER_03 11:37

I'll tell you this. Dr. if you want to enlarge spleen, go see Dr. Ben's show. That's right. Okay. But then we'll be yeah. Swallow.

SPEAKER_02 11:45

From all the side splitting laughter. That's right. All right. Thank you, listener. Thank you, Dr. Jennifer and honorary Dr. Marcus for uh explaining several new vocabulary terms to us. I swear some of those sound made up, also.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

So all right, stellar work.

SPEAKER_04 12:10

Dr. Ben and Fred.