Father's Day Special: Dad Jokes: Presented By Dave Levy & Buddy Kouns

Two local dads known for their legendary dad jokes go head-to-head in a battle of puns and punchlines. Who has the ultimate dad joke? That's for you to decide.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to the Birthday Beat Podcast. I'm your host, Fran Budish, and today we have a quick treat in store for all of our listeners. I sat down with two Birth of Dads, Dave Levy and Buddy Coons, who are infamous for their bad dad jokes. We at the Birth of Beat Podcast decided to give them a taste of their own medicine and make them read those jokes to each other. See how long you can stand it for.

SPEAKER_04 0:28

Hello, my name is Dave Levy, and I am in fact a dad. I'm actually the father of Megan Levy, the publisher of The Birth of Surveyor. I write about local politics and development in the community. I have excellent taste in lemonade.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

And I'm Buddy Coons, and I am I too am a dad, allegedly. We've never done any testing, but Michelle tells me I've got three. So I believe her. I've got three. Some of you might know me as the occasional guy on the microphone at the Birth at Bash over at the ball fields, where I'm the dumbest guy in the uh on the field, according to the parents. Uh, community events, and I guess I'm just learning this right now. I'm I was the first person that was ever interviewed by Will Cornelius when he became the editor here at The Surveyor. And he hasn't recovered. He has not. He has not.

SPEAKER_04 1:23

Okay. The staff thought it would be a great idea for Buddy and me to celebrate Father's Day by reading jokes, reading dad jokes to each other. Neither of us have seen these ahead of time, so we're going in completely blind. Uh Buddy, you there? I can't really see. Bear with us. And if you don't like it, you can blame the editor, Will Cornelius. Okay? I'll begin. Hey buddy, I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

See, that's a good one. I I I didn't know that they were gonna be prepared, so I thought I was just gonna have to make this stuff up, so this makes this a whole lot easier. So, Dave, why can't you give Elsa a balloon? I have no idea. Because she'll let it go, let it go. Show choir coming through.

SPEAKER_04 2:20

Oh brother, this guy stinks! I told my computer I need a break, and now it won't stop sending me Kit Kats.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Oh my gosh. Yeah, these are I hope these get better. I used to play the piano by ear. But now I use my hands.

SPEAKER_04 2:43

Oh yes, yes, yes. We saw that coming, right? You should have skipped that one. Why don't skeletons fight each other? I don't know. They don't have the guts.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Don't know. Nacho cheese, Dave. That's not fair.

SPEAKER_04 3:08

That's not bad. I'm glad you didn't write him. Um I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

You know what? I'm 56 years old on Tuesday, and facial hair doesn't grow on me.

SPEAKER_04 3:23

You don't look a day older than 55.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

Thank you. Thank you, thank you. So, why did the bicycle fall over?

SPEAKER_04 3:30

It was too tired. Ah, that's it!

SPEAKER_01 3:32

It was too tired. You saw that one coming.

SPEAKER_04 3:34

Alright. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

Oh my goodness. Well, I ordered a chicken and egg. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. Which came first? Ah, that's not the point. It's close. Okay. I'll let you know which comes first.

SPEAKER_04 3:58

Okay, very, very good. By the way, why did the chicken cross the play yard? I have no idea. He wanted to get to another slide.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Alright, his mind, his mind.

SPEAKER_04 4:12

You just ad-libbed that one. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

Oh my gosh. You're quicker than I am. Did you are? That's obvious.

SPEAKER_04 4:18

Do you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

SPEAKER_01 4:27

So, how do you organize a space party?

SPEAKER_04 4:31

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

You plan it.

SPEAKER_04 4:37

Oh, this is good for you. This is good for you. I would tell you a construction joke, but I'm working on it.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

That is, that is good for me. I don't work very hard, so I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something. It's basement stairs that go down.

SPEAKER_04 4:59

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

They're getting worse and worse. Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_04 5:10

People probably quit by now.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner. That's good.

SPEAKER_04 5:20

I like that. I told my wife she she should embrace on the steaks. She gave me a big hug.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

So why don't eggs tell jokes? No yolk? No, but that's that could be another one. They'd crack each other up.

SPEAKER_04 5:40

Oh that's kind of like it. Well, here's my last. The audience is very happy that's the last. What do you call fake spaghetti?

SPEAKER_01 5:50

I don't know. An imposta. Okay, and then finally to wrap up the jokes. I told my suitcase there will be no vacations this year. Now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage. Alright. Okay. Yeah, that was a good one then. Okay, you want to hear a quick joke? I do. You want to hear it again? No.

SPEAKER_03 6:19

Okay, that's it for us sports fans.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

If anybody listened through this, you know, you have our sympathies. Yes, and you wanna we keep it going?

SPEAKER_04 6:30

Oh, keep it going, should I say?

SPEAKER_01 6:32

The audience is I I don't know if the audience is still is still rolling, but uh yes, I I know that my kids all of the time, and I think that the older that I get, the more dad jokes that come out of me unintentionally, because much of what I say to them now they just roll their eyes.

SPEAKER_04 6:51

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's it's um it's the same thing with me, but uh the only thing is they'd always roll their eyes.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Yeah, yeah. Well, and you know, I know that Michelle, so I stepped away from the bash for a few years because Michelle and my kids, well, Michelle and my kids all told me that my shtick was getting a little tired because I I tell the same jokes over and over and over year after year. But I got invited back when the room.

SPEAKER_04 7:18

You actually said you told jokes?

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Well that's what those were.

SPEAKER_04 7:20

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

But the room reset, so there are whole oh there's a whole different audience now. So the room reset so I'm able to go back to my old stuff.

SPEAKER_04 7:32

That that reminds me when I this is serious, when I was on the school board, they asked me to speak to the incoming freshman class at high school. And I said, you know, to the teachers afterwards, it was the exact same thing they said last year, but it's a different audience. It says, Welcome to public education. There you go.

SPEAKER_01 7:49

Yeah, there you go, for sure. So, no, this is it's been uh like this is this is stuff that I've I love to do. I love to come and talk about this. I love to come and talk, and I have never met a microphone that I didn't like.

SPEAKER_04 8:03

Yes, yes. Well, I want to say my son played baseball for Buddy. He had a severe concussion, he only could come back maybe the last game or two, so there was a sub out there in center field. And I went up to Buddy and said, Hey Buddy, look, you got a guy playing center field for the last four, five, six games. If you want to keep him in there, put sit on the bench, it's understandable. And he said, No, he says he deserves to be out there, he's the better player. So at the birth at Bash, they had a sports um memorabilia, you know, auction. Yep. And I bought a signed baseball by Yogi Berra. Yep, and you gave it to me. And you're like, son said, I want it. I said, nope.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

No, and you gave it to me, and then I turned around and I paid off a car with it.

SPEAKER_04 8:48

No, no, no, I the truth, the covet.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

Yeah, the coveted. Exactly. Exactly. No, no, no. Yeah. It was uh it was uh it was a super super kind gesture for sure. Oh just appreciate it. One of my favorites.

SPEAKER_04 9:03

Yes, yes, yes. And um everybody knows yogi berisms, but the one that really I appreciate is where he says, in theory, there's no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

You know, when you go back and you look at those yogi berisms, there's some really, there really are some really good ones. Yes. If you really listen to it and you think about it.

SPEAKER_04 9:29

And Joe Gaggiolo, who became a major league catcher, grew up across the street from Yogi Barra. And says, if you are a Major League player, you're gonna be not the best kid, the best player on your block, you're gonna be the best player in your town. I wasn't even the best player across the street.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

No, that's why. So the the best players go on and they get to the next level, and they get to the next level, and they get to the next level. The least talented players end up coaching.

SPEAKER_04 10:00

Well, they wouldn't even let me do that. They wouldn't even let me do that. So, um, so so that's that another Yo Kiberism. He's playing uh golf with his sons, and one of his golf uh Larry uh not Larry Barra, something, made it to the major leagues, played for the Mets. And um he said, and Yonki Berry lines up and says, Oh, I think I'm gonna hit it into the sand trap. And and um this the son says, Be positive. Young says, Okay, I'm positive I'm gonna hit it into the sand trap.

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Yeah, see, that's he was super, super talented. The drawback to all those guys, though, that you're talking about, if they were in the pinstripes, I have a hard time I have a hard time rooting for the Yankees. Well, as a method, no problem. Yes, no problem. The boys here in town have asked me over and over through the years because they've always thought the pinstripes are uh the class actually. Oh yeah. And we'll never wear pinstripes at birth at not when I'm the coach.

SPEAKER_03 11:01

That's that's excellent. That's excellent. That's excellent. Well, okay, I think we're gonna wrap this up.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

Yes, I think I appreciated it. Buddy!

SPEAKER_04 11:10

They're not gonna see you shaking hands and then strangling each other. Get your hands off my throat! Thank you for having me. Oh, it was awesome. And thank Maris Westham for putting this together. Great job!

SPEAKER_00 11:25

Wow. Those jokes were uh good. But all joking aside, we want to thank Dave and Buddy for joining us on the podcast. From Home Depot trips to telling us to turn the lights off for the electricity bill, for teaching us to play cash, to remind us to get our oil changed, for showing us how to do it. We appreciate all the good dads out there. And importing a little bit off script. After an unsuccessful harvest season, why did the farmer decide to pursue career music? Anyway, everybody