Growing up Greek - How most things would NOT fly in today's world

Growing up Greek wasn’t just a childhood… it was an experience. 

In this episode, we dive headfirst into what it was really like growing up in a loud, loving, chaotic Greek household, from getting smacked for reasons we still don’t fully understand, to the punishments, guilt trips, overprotective parents, and the unspoken family rules that somehow everyone just knew.

We unpack the true meaning of being raised in an ethnic environment: the good, the bad, the hilarious, and the slightly traumatic moments that somehow turned into our funniest memories. From mountains of food and unsolicited opinions to strict parents, family loyalty, and the culture that shaped who we are today, nothing is off limits.

If you grew up in an ethnic household, trust us… you’ll feel seen. 

Video Edits: Tom from Podlike Online https://www.instragram.com/podlike.online/

Follow us for more chaos, questionable takes, and what our friendship really looks like away from the Mic! 

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/unhingedgreekspodcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hello. Hello. How are you? Well, how are you? I'm good. What's going on? Oh, nothing on. Just living the dream. Living the dream. Living the dream. Well, I'm Pat. I'm Lena. And you're on the dream.

SPEAKER_02 0:18

What's going to be over this this week? The cost of school photos. How much did you pay? Fuck me in the ass with no lube. How much people can charge these companies charge? I paid $126 for what did you get? Like James's photos, Tom's photos. I got the basic package, okay, which is like digital, and then the class photo, and then a whole bunch of fucking bookmarks and shit like that. And then the sibling photo, which you have to get. And I just feel like wait, so you got individual photos of each boy? Yes. Oh, okay. That's what comes in the basic package. If I could go even basic, I would like even basic. I would just want a class photo and a digital and a single photo and send it to me digitally. I don't want a fucking bookmark. I don't want a key ring. I don't want anything else. I don't want a bazillion little pocket photos to give to all the family members.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

But they don't want to keep anyway.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

I mean, I actually but um no, I just my family's got I've bought them all the frameo. Yep. Um so we've all got the digital frame and we just send photos to that. So I just felt like I was very sad parting with $126. You just got ripped. Because I thought, like, yeah, I don't know. You know what? They're gonna have a chandel smile. 100%. It's the fake smile. It's the fake smile, and the hairs never, even though they do the photos first thing in the morning when they get there, it's never like we left it. Yeah, like when I drop them off. And yeah, I'm just like that. Is I just my Botox money just going drain. So we're sending you over the edge.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Not school photo, actually, nothing this week. I've I've had a yeah, I mean, aside from just everyday life, like that's just normal, but you know, I can constantly rant, but it's not worthy. Like everyone's got problems, everyone has to parent or not parent, or everyone has to work. I think like pretending that I love people at work, that's like that's just annoying. Yeah, um, but no, no, I'm actually fine. That's good. Oh, glad to hear. But you know what? Speaking of Botox, you know what I want to try? Tell me. That salmon that's the salmon. The salmon. The salmon's booth. Yes, yes, the rejuven or whatever it is, something like that. Really good things. Yeah, I really want to give it a go. So apparently, yeah, I think I'm gonna speak to my injector and see. And it's not for the under-the-eyes, I've never actually been concerned about under the eye. I don't know, just make me prettier. Your skin is so beautiful though. Yeah, but this I'm very consistent. You're very your skin's very good too, though. I'm very consistent with my needling. Yeah, my skincare regime. I mean, that's a whole other episode, but yeah, it's very basic, but I do use, I think, I don't even know this is a quality product, I guess I just really targeted ingredients. Yes, but yeah, the salmon is yeah, yeah, use me up. Do it, we'll see.

SPEAKER_02 3:24

And then we can do a review on the potty to see how you went. I'll film it live. What are we here to talk about today? We're here to talk about growing up Greek, yes, and not even, I mean, obviously, we're Greek. Growing up ethnic, growing up WOG, yeah. Yeah, growing up like a in a WOG house, yes, growing up, yeah, with two WOG parents, yeah, living in Australia in the 90s. What was it like? Eldest child as well. We're both the oldest child, yeah, and that's correct. Yep, because the eldest is treated differently always to the youngest, high expectations, and then by the time they get to the youngest, the youngest is like the golden child that can do no fucking wrong. Yep. And that will last all the way through to your 40s and 50s. Maybe let's start with then. So, some examples of you know, you growing up back in the day versus how we specifically are raising our kids now. Yeah, yeah, what wouldn't fly then, as opposed to pretty much everything flies now.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

Yeah, oh I think you just said it everything flies now. I think the key thing that really stands out to me from back then is the punishment that we got. Yeah, like my god, we couldn't.

SPEAKER_02 4:46

It was borderline abuse. It was borderline abuse. So there's okay, so just to be for some context, I think that they they and I mean parents, and mom, I'm gonna apologize in advance because you'll probably get offended, but it's true. I think that our parents thought that us being obedient meant that we respected them. Correct. But it was we were just so fucking shit scared of getting bashed by whatever weapon of choice they had on offer at the time, which varied. Um, and it was so strict, so strict. Like I wasn't allowed to walk to the letterbox. Oh, like because the boy across the road might talk to me or look at me. Okay. Like it was I wasn't allowed to go to like blue light discos. Oh, neither was I. It was anything like that. No, um, yeah, very under 18s. We're talking about specifically like at the local RSLs. Like, you know, in you're in so you're in yeah, high school.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

Yeah, high school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I can go even as far back. I think just that as an example of punishment was you know, food. If you didn't eat certain foods, like you would be reprimanded. And my bubble, so my grandfather, my dad's side. Um, I specifically remember this situation where he was serving eggplant melanzanas. And I didn't want to eat this melanzana, this eggplant. Like, and he and my brother was with me, I would have been nine, he bashed me with an extension cord. Oh, repeatedly, repeatedly kept on hitting me with an extension cord, and I was inconsolably crying, and I was like dry reaching in my mouth and spitting up these, and they would make me like it was it was actually abuse, yeah. It was hands-down abuse, yeah, or because I refused to eat this dead vegetable, and it took me imperially long to eat time to eat melinzana spana gorizol. Like, that's another that's a this is a real great dish. So I'm kind of like seguing, oh, because my face got put into a plate of spana gorizo from my auntie, and I would have been a lot more would have been maybe five or six. Like literally, she grabbed the fast father. Yeah, like so for mum, I that's not good. I had a that was yeah, it was a lot around food, and because I used to be like the like a giant, it used to just roll my family up, and we're not just talking about my parents here, like we copped abuse from relatives as well, and it was completely acceptable.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

So that is something else that I had on my list is that there was this big fucking Greek hairy village, and we were raised by grandparents, by aunties, by uncles, spent a lot of time with our cousins, but for some reason that made it okay for all adults to discipline everyone's child. Like they wild. So, yes, you're right, you know, everybody had an opinion, everyone got a bash. Yeah, everyone got a smash.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

Everyone laid their hands into it. But we joke about it, right? We say, you know, to our not even our white friends, Lukey, just not bog, you know, like we literally copped it. And the weapon of choice, I mean, I think it was the slipper or the bell. No, or the belt, my dad.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

It was a bell, yeah, yes. And my dad, so I grew up in the back of a takeaway. So mum and dad owned a takeaway shop. That's how they made their cashola. We used to have, do you guys remember the long sherbet sticks? No, but I think I know where you're going with this. Yeah, so that would use that as a weapon. It was because my dad, my dad was the yeah, the whip. He fully like we used to have welts on our legs. Yeah, so my brother and I used to like eat all the sherbet so the beauty really none, so he would go, and then it'll go flaccid, and then but we would get in more trouble. All we did was buy us some time so that we could run away. Um, but he caught us eventually. Um so, yeah, the violence, like physical discipline, always, all the time, never any word. Sometimes you didn't even know what you fucking did wrong.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

Correct. It was just because we were there, we were there. We couldn't at dinner time, like we could not talk. You look, you know, you look at our boys now. I mean, we we talk at the dinner, you ask about their day, but then sometimes the kids are the kids and they laugh and they giggle and they be silly and whatever. Mom watched TV and zone out. 100%. We nothing, we weren't even allowed to have water with food, yeah. But you might get full, you might get full and not eating. Yeah, correct. Correct. We weren't allowed to drink water. I remember another punishment. This is non-violent. It's quite funny, and I feel like I want to introduce it today to my children. But my dad used to make the three of us. I clocked on like now as an adult, like how stupid is he? He would sit there and make us watch the Discovery Channel. So he would put on, call it a documentary on sharks, and he would be like, The three of you are gonna watch this for the next however long half an hour, and then I'm gonna quiz you on it at the end. So he would then leave us to our devices and watching his boring documentary on bloody great white sharks for half an hour, and he would not be in the room, and then he would quiz us on it, but then like and we were shit scared, but in retrospect, he didn't fucking know what it was about.

SPEAKER_02 10:15

No, no, we wouldn't spend half an hour of peace. That's a parenting hat.

unknown 10:21

That's what I was saying.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

That's a that is a parenting hack.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

And this was or he would make us clean. So, you know, we went through a few renovations as kids as well. And I remember specifically he would make us go around the backyard and pick up all cigarette butts from like the tradies and my parents, and any single like off-cut of you know, drywall, and just so he and my mum could get peace for an hour, and we sat there and picked up specks of dust or clean the windows and with like newspaper and methylated spirits.

SPEAKER_02 10:54

Just oh man, the trauma is it's all coming back. A lot of do as I say, don't ask questions. Oh, yeah, you weren't allowed to ask, don't talk, don't answer that. Even when we went visiting, we went to visit somewhere somewhere. Don't ask. You kids are to be seen and not heard. If someone offers you something to eat or drink, no thank you. Yep, or he's got to stop, like you know, and if you take something, oh my god, you're gonna get in so much fucking trouble. It's as if they would our parents would be embarrassed that they people would think that they didn't feed us if we said yes to something that was offered to us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

Like, no, 100%. And mind you, there would be like a smoggle's board of food at somebody's thing because that's what wogs do, yeah, right? You feed them, but we weren't allowed to touch anything.

SPEAKER_02 11:43

That's wild. Definitely weren't allowed to back chat. I mean, look, would I like my children to have even a small level of that amount of respect for me? Yes, yeah, but uh it's not respect, it's fear. Um, we were so fucking shit scared. I mean, I'm pretty sure I pissed my pants until I was almost 10. Like really? Yeah, like you used to wet the bed, yeah. Or you just used to like walk and no, wet the beds. Because of fear or so, I think it was like just some sort of like trauma or something. I was too scared to get up and go to the toilet at night in case I got in trouble. Seriously. So I'd like to hold it and go back to sleep, and then yeah. Wow, okay. Yeah, yep, yep. So yeah, there's a lot, a lot there. Do you know what? Our parents didn't do anything wrong or bad. Like they just did what they knew, right? Correct.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

They they did what they knew, and they would have had it ten times worse growing up than what we had.

SPEAKER_02 12:36

100%. And like my dad always used to say, Oh my god, you've got it so good. So I remember I used to win because he used to ask us to weed, like weed the garden. Yeah. He's like, Come on, like, we're getting old, come and like help weed the garden, and we like teenagers and we would kick off. But I mean, he was a shepherd in the village in Greece. Like, how much harder would he have had it at such a young age and probably wouldn't have been able to even back chat?

SPEAKER_01 13:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:01

My dad, you know, getting almost murdered.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

My dad used to say to us, um, Apicotic's dad's still around, I've just obviously talked in the past tense. But, you know, if we would get new clothes or whatever, dad would often say to us, I had the same pair of shoes for five years. I came on the boat from Greece to Australia with trippers in my shoes, like with holes in my shoes. And I'm like, you know what? There's probably a component of that that's true that they wouldn't have had disposable money to go and buy essentials at a frequent rate. But also, you're a child, like your feet grow. Like, we know how fast your feet grow.

SPEAKER_02 13:39

And also, you don't remember a lot of your childhood, especially if you are ethnic, because I do believe that we block out trauma. I mean for my trauma, so at least I've blocked it out. I know, so I've blocked it out, but then I'm like, oh yeah, that happened too. And then that happened too. But also, I love my family, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

I mean, I love my family too, but it's definitely shaped me into a very different way. That I mean, I had a great childhood. My parents were so good to us. They were always or mum was always there, dad was obviously the breadwinner, but it certainly made me realise that I want to do things differently. Yes. In certain levels, yes, such as definitely. I think the reprimand, like I realize that the kids are just being kids, and I wasn't just a a naughty child. I think what they deemed as me being naughty is just a child being a child.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

Yep, so I let the boys be the boys. Obviously, you don't physically discipline yourself. I definitely don't physically discipline. I mean, there are but that's not to say that they haven't coped a smack. I have I think it was a few months ago actually, Phoenix was just being a right little dick. And he he he knows what I'm about to go off at him. And I was in the kitchen for him, and I had a wooden uh thing, it was a wooden spoon. And he ran up the stairs, and our staircase is a return, and I threw it. But he'd already gone to the return, so I got the wall, and then I fucking damaged the wall, so then I kicked off even more of myself, and I was like, shit, I can't tell my because now I put a tent in the fall with blame the kids. Through it with such force, yeah. It was like from a few meters away that and up and upwards because he's running up the stairs, but the shitheads are just yeah. He predicted your moves. He predicted my moves 100%.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

So yes, I don't they don't cop the extension cord, they don't cop the belt, they very much there's no weapons, and do you know, like it it wouldn't even work with no my kids, our kids, they're very much their own people, and I remember when I was like for contrast, when I was like 17, 16, 17, and I just my dad was like you know, kicking off about something, and I was like old enough to be able to use my words and say, just pause on the violence for a second, yeah, and how about we talk about this? Like, can you just explain to me what I'm doing wrong? Yeah, and what did he say? No, it was it was completely a him problem. He was overwhelmed and frustrated and busy and all of those things and took it out on me. The ironic thing is I am very much my father, very much. So so many of his come out, and I now I've just I've got a there's so many things that trigger me, um, and it's so funny because they're like things from your childhood. But no, my kids are very very much talk about their feelings, they always advocate for themselves. So I don't think you even have a chance to get to the violent stage because they're already well and truly vocal about what their problem is. I don't have to guess.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

No, yeah, I get but they're they're shitheads sometimes, like of course. You know, you know, they there are so many different times that I'm just like, God, I wish I had a little bit more of and I will a little had had a little bit more of mum and dad in me with regards to the reprimand, and Carl and I do try to implement that because the boys are scared if we say we're calling Bapu, not my mum, like they couldn't give two shits in that regard. But if they say we're calling Babu or Poppy, so Carl's dad, mate, they straighten up sofa. Do they say no?

SPEAKER_02 17:18

We've got the naughty boys home. I go so I go pack the suitcase, I go get the valitza and I'll pull it out. Um I've dragged Phoenix out and I've throwing him into the I don't know if I've like packing it for me or for them, but I'm just like, there's a vacancy and you're going now. And Paul's, it might be an age thing as well. Apparently, like boys sort of seven and up really look up to males like for the next seven years of their life. Like from seven to four months. They're not scared of Carl though. No, but you know why? It's because we've created this safe home where they can be themselves, which is that's great and all of that stuff, but also come on, like don't speak to your mum like that, don't speak to your dad like that. The way they speak to us is it is disgusting. Um, look, I I'm a believer in natural consequence, so I'll let them not the back chat and the disrespect, but if they don't listen, like my boys boys are very active. So if they're on the e-scooter or the hoverboard or whatever, and I'm like, oh look, I don't think that's a good idea, or blah blah blah, and they just go and do it anyway because I might as well be invisible. Oh, yeah, just fall over. Fuck around and find out, my friend. Like it's the natural consequence, you will get hurt, you will break a bone, and you are going to miss out on other fun things because you were doing stupid things and not listening to me in the first place.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Well, I mean, James actually didn't break his wrist recently because he was being stupid.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

No, no, no, but he got the cast taken off and the doctor said to him, No ball sports for four weeks. Neck minute, he's playing ball sports, falling over, hurt himself in the same spot. And I'm just like, fuck around and find out, my friends. Like, go to find someone else to take you for an x-ray. Yeah, because I'm not doing it.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

Yeah, yeah. No, I think definitely the reprimanding. Um, the difference as well is allowing them to have their feelings. So I think you know, our parents would never have spoken to us about feelings. I think even today, at the age of 40, I'm not allowed to really have an opinion when it comes to mum and dad. Yeah, sorry, mum and dad, but it's the truth. You know, I will try to humor Xander or Phoenix if they're kicking off, but it's actually just digging there. It's like Xander went, what is your problem? What do you want to do? You can carry like a pork chop now to half the day, like talk to me. What are you feeling? And it'll often be something stupid. No, they don't know.

SPEAKER_02 19:45

I reckon they can't communicate the hormones that they're going through and they're about to go through for the next however many years of you know, they're pre-pubescent. Yeah, it's like the they probably don't even know why they're saying it said, Yeah, so they will say something stupid.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

You're probably right there, but I think the point is that we actually allow them to do that. Yes, and we have that understanding. Give them an opportunity to explain. Or, you know, I think even a few weeks ago I took Xand up and I'm like, Come on, mate, like you've been going on all day. Let's you and I just go for a walk, let's take ourselves out of this situation. Oh, no, we're gonna go for a walk, and he was carrying on still whilst we're walking. But I didn't give him any anger, I just let him continue and I said, We're not going home until you calm down. Um, and we just sat at the beach for a good half an hour until he calmed down, and then he just was like, Mom, I'm just really sad. I was like, That's okay, mate. We all have shitty days, and I get that.

SPEAKER_02 20:34

And you can be sad without being an asshole. Like, there's you know, and but how does that react to them or be able to demonstrate with them as opposed to you can't be sad at all? Correct, you know, yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

Your feelings are validated, you are human, you might be nine or seven or whatever age that the child is, you know, you are allowed to have feelings. Yeah, they might not communicate them effectively, but that's certainly something that we have in our house, and I believe you would have the same.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

Yeah. There's um, I mean, we've got you know, talking cards at the dining table. So, you know, just pull them out and just talk about what you would do in this situation, or can you tell me a time where you were really proud of yourself? Or you know, tell me a time where you were really scared. Yeah. Just to be able for them to identify those feelings and positive reinforcement about them. We're far from perfect, and I'm convinced that we are fucking them up, even though we're trying not to. Um, but it'll be to hopefully a lesser scale.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

Yeah, oh a hundred percent. We're breaking the breaking the cycle. We're breaking the cycle, the trauma. Yeah, that's it. That's another big thing. Yeah. Did you want to try anything different to what you've been doing now that brings a little bit of A, bring a bit of B?

SPEAKER_02 21:51

Oh look, I I mean, every day you were basically trying something different. I said this to my eldest, I'm like, you realize. This is the first time I'm doing this. Hey, like it's the first time I'm parenting a nine-year-old. It's like, you know, I don't know what I'm doing either. And we need to figure this out together. No, I don't think there's anything different that I want to try. Like, I'm I'm proud of the fact that my boys are, they know that they are an active part of this family and this household, and that everybody has, you know, we are a team. We're not just a family, we're a team, and everybody in the team has got to pull their way for the team to win. It's including them. And if one person, it's including them, that's exactly right. Yes. And if one person wins, we all celebrate that success because we all win, you know. If my kids have wins, it's their win, and I'm celebrating for them. I'm not taking the credit for them to be like, oh, you know, that's because I'm such a great parent. It's no, like I you did that yourself, mate, and I'm so bloody proud of you.

SPEAKER_01 22:57

That's really good. And it's yeah, I think the inclusivity part, maybe it's because of the world that we live in, but I just had a thought, something as well, that I'm doing differently is I'm not lying to them. And I mean when I say lying in the sense of, hey, conversation with Phoenix and McCann, I wish I'd recorded it. He literally asked, like, where do babies come from? Or how hey, how did I come out of your belly? And I said, I pushed you. He goes, What do you mean? You pushed me and I said, I pushed you out of my vagina. And I literally said those words. I'm not faffing about, I'm saying the stalk dropped you off or that BS. Yeah. He's like, What do you mean? I was like, like a big fart, like I pushed you out of my vagina. He's like, but how did I get in your belly? And I was like, Dad put you in there. And he's like, What do you mean, dad put me in your belly? Like, how? I said, He just put me in your belly, and I don't think you need to know how just yet. And he's like, No, Mom, I need to know. I was like, Okay. We had special cuddle time. And he's like, What do you mean you had special cuddle time? I was like, You know the movie Deadpool that you've watched and you're not supposed to watch? Yes. And he goes, Oh, so when they're naked and he's on top of you, it's like that's exactly the type of cuddles that your father gave me to put you in my belly. Yes. I just thought like it was as open as I can be with him without giving the detail. Yeah. And I feel like he's also a little bit of a pervy kid. He's weird. They have stemple and he's a grub. But yeah, that's one thing is I'm being very earnest. And the other day, I think I might have told you this. Sanders said to me, like, Mom, what's wrong? You just don't look well. And I was like, I don't feel well, mate. I actually do not feel good as well. And he goes, What's wrong? And I said, Women get sick every month. He goes, What do you mean you get sick every month? I said, We bleed. He goes, Yeah, where? I said, In my vagina. He goes, How? And I was like, We just bleed. He goes, but I don't, where does it like are you wearing a band-aid? Oh my darling. No, and I was like, Sort of. I'm kind of wearing a band-aid. Yes. And then Phoenix is like, but but what? Like, I don't get it. I was like, I bleed every month for a week out of my vagina. And then said, like, okay, so how do you fix it? I said, you know those colourful things that's around the house and dad calls crayons. I said, I use that and I put that inside of me. And they're like, what do you mean you put it inside of your gosh? That is maybe a little bit terrible.

SPEAKER_03 25:23

I just also want to be very serious.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

They're like, oh, do and I said, all girls bleed. And they're like, do little girls bleed? I was like, no, not necessarily a go, but you know, you'll know more as you get older. Yeah. But you just need to know right now why I'm not feeling very well and why I generally feel like this for a few days. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

I've had a similar chat. Um, so the boys have known about period for a couple of years now. Oh, and I thought to them, like, you know, but did not one of them seem toilet, pull out a tampon. Was it Tom? Yeah, not pull out a tampon. I was wiping, and I'm a heavy bleeder. Okay, so that's it. So they were, and that's how it all started. And it was like, yeah, okay, so mummy bleeds. And I explained to them, I said, it is because there's not a baby in my belly. And so I've got yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, you know, so I said, My body's just getting rid of everything. And they're like, So when's the baby coming? That's all that they were worried about. It's like, when's the baby coming? But yeah, no, they're okay with it. Like, even this morning, and I was like, Oh, I'm like, Well, James Locke, what's wrong? And I'm like, Oh, I've got my period. And he's like, Okay, Thomas, we've got to help mum get all the stuff to the car, she's got a period.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

Oh, yeah, see, that's I think that's and that's a good thing. I mean different being a female, like obviously my mum had that conversation with us, but we would never have had the in-depth conversation.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

No, but I just think that the knowing about the you know, and I did say to him, mate, if you ever get to the point where you're in high school and you see that a girl has maybe um, you know, got some blood on her or something like that. No, like you have accidents in high school, and it can be very embarrassing. I remember this girl in high school, and she got up from her chair in class and the poor thing had bled through. Could have very easily been me. And everyone laughed at her. And I'm like, that's horrific. It's a natural like it's a natural thing. I thought of it. I would I would expect my child to be like, here, Sally Ann, have a jumper. Here's my jumper, wrap yourself up, and off you go.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

Yeah, I think that's just a teenage thing. I know, we're digressing now.

SPEAKER_02 27:21

I know, but it's just just for something different, but yes, yes, we were abused, our children get a TED talk and a hug. Yes, but what we're keeping from growing up Greek, we're going, we're still keeping our strong family values. Yeah, 100%. Like our culture, traditions, boundaries, so you can have boundaries without the bashing and the beating. So I I think that we do hold boundaries for our children, but we're just getting rid of the parts that didn't serve us.

SPEAKER_01 27:51

So, you know, the physical discipline, correct, lack of emotional support, and yeah, we're just I don't think yeah, the the abuse that I copped shaped me to be any different to what I would have been shaped in today. Oh, so abuse is fine then, you're saying? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 28:06

I'm not saying I'm just saying like it it it it wasn't needed, right? Yeah, it was not necessary. Well correctly, it actually made me uh probably a softer parent than what I should be because I was I was so traumatized by the constant and I just didn't fucking understand why. Yeah, it was a lot, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:26

I think it's definitely like made me realise in retrospect, like we were just kids, right? Yeah, that's so I think that in that regard, but it's like I mean I've turned out fine, but I'm not doing it to my kids. Shake, shake, shake. Okay, well, to wrap that up, I've got a question for you. Okay, what is or was the most embarrassing thing your family ever did in public that you can remember?

SPEAKER_02 28:54

That's a good question. The most embarrassing thing they ever did in public. Oh, it wasn't embarrassing as much as it was like it was gross at the time. So we used to spend like Christmases or big, oh not even Christmas, maybe Easter's at my Theatullah's house, right? So that was my dad's sister, and there used to be like obviously mum and dad's like so we were like a nuclear family, my brother and I in the back seat with all the presents pulled up in the back of the fair lane, and you know, we would drive out to the farm and have this nice meal with you know our aunties and uncles and cousins. And my other auntie used to make this big, massive bowl of garlic dips, godalia. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now now I would eat that, no problems, but at the time I hated it, like I just was not my thing. The mashed potato for the garlic, yeah, like it was just yeah, so like a nice, yeah. Anyway, but I didn't eat it. I can't remember if my brother ate it, but my dad used to go around with the kudali, and because we would be driving in the car home, garlic breath obviously stinks. And if you're the only one that doesn't have it, you smell it, smell it. So for us not to smell it and for me not to get car sick, he used to make us have like a little kudali or kudali. Yeah. Oh well, so he force fed you. And I was just hoping he would but so to save myself from getting like cast. But it's a strange thing. Like, can we not wind a window down? Like, can we not crack a window? No aircon back in the day, yeah. It was a bit gross.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

That's funny. That's funny. It's such a yeah, it's I mean, it's pragmatic, it's not the worst thing, but no, like I don't think there's anything like really big fat Greek wedding situations. No, not really because in the Greek community it's normal, correct? Like, I think in the ethnic community in general, like we would all, you know, whether you're you know, Italian, bloody Lebo, yeah, whatever, like you all grew up the same.

SPEAKER_02 31:07

With the same little like, you know, you were different to Aussies at school, but yeah, yeah, no, there was nothing like yeah, nothing like that. We were if we went to ever went to a white party, like or you know, Aussie barbecue or whatever, we're always the most overdressed people there. Yes. Um, you know, quite formal. But yeah, what about you?

SPEAKER_01 31:26

What's the most embarrassing thing you're firms have? I don't know, I nothing comes to mind today. Okay. I think, yeah, maybe just getting older though, going into the white. So I remember specifically, I went to a friend's, I had it was like a 30th birthday. I used to work with this girl, and it was my first situation where it was a BYO. And I was like, okay, like sure, like I'll bring my own bottle of whatever it was, Southern Comfort. Yeah. And I've rocked up and I was like, oh, so can I just have like some Coke? And she's like, didn't you buy your own Coke? I'm like, Oh no, and I mean, yeah, like that was my first experience with yeah, as I had to BYO even absolutely everything, yeah, and your own chair as well. Like your own. I mean, apparently there are some stories where that is. So that was a bit of a shock to me. Yeah. Because yeah, growing up, so as much as like we grew up with a trauma, it was you also grew up like the really inclusivity that you know, mum always said, and this is something that I do today, is you know, when you're cooking, you cook for double the amount of people because you never know if you're gonna come through the door right and stay for dinner. Yeah, so you always cook extra, and it's you know, I'm such a giving person because of the way I've been brought up. This is a really nice part of a thing, and I think I forgot to mention this, but yeah, giving. Do not bring alcohol, do not bring any food. You know, you're coming to my house, I'm gonna serve you everything. You know, me gata su casa, like that's Spanish, but sure, you know, but yeah, that speaks volume. So yeah, absolutely. Well, on that note, um thank you for everybody for listening. Please subscribe. Once again, we say it every episode: subscribe, subscribe, subscribe. We want to keep this podcast so I can continue buying food and alcohol to feed you all.

SPEAKER_02 33:13

Um, and you know what, send this to your ethnic friends if it relates, send it to your friends, send it to your mum. I'm gonna send it to my mum. Um, and send us through your unhinged ethnic stories from growing up because I'd love to hear what's the differences, what's something that we've missed or that'll probably remind us we experienced as well.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

Until next time. Bye.