MOMents on Purpose: Intentional Motherhood Starts with Self

Happy Mother’s Day!

Join the host, Avionna Elizabeth, as she discusses the importance of mothers refilling their cup in the sixth episode of One of Virtue Podcast.

Transcript

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Hello, hello, everybody. We are back with yet another episode of Wonder Virtue Podcast. Y'all, today is a very, very, very special day. A day that is held near and dear to my heart. The day that I was at one point tricked into believing that I would never personally get to celebrate for myself. The enemy literally tried to convince me that I would never become a mother. So today is a very, very, very special day to me. And I am just so happy to be here. So happy to answer the call. So happy to carry this mantle. And with all of that being said, y'all, I just want to tell you if you are a mother and you are listening to this, I want to tell you happy Mother's Day, that God sees you, God loves you. And I really pray that today you are showered with much deserved love, grace, and that you just feel on top of the world. Whatever that may look like for you, whether if you are just hanging out by yourself today because you needed a minute, or if you are surrounded by family, friends, your kids. I just pray that whatever your heart's desire is and was for today, I just pray that it was an awesome day for you. So I did want to say happy Mother's Day, and we're gonna go ahead and get started with today's episode. But before we do, we're gonna open up in a quick prayer. So, dear Heavenly Father, Lord God, I just want to first thank you for who you are, Lord God. I want to thank you for loving each and every one of your children the way that you do, Father God. Lord, I just thank you for being our protector, our leader, our king, our constant, Father God, the one that we can turn to, the one that we can lean on, the one that we can rest in and take refuge in, Father God. Lord, I just thank you for your love, your grace, and your continuous mercy, Lord God. I pray that we never take your grace and your mercy for granted, Father God. I just want to pray right now over this podcast, Lord God. But I just pray that your will be done through it. I pray that your Holy Spirit speaks to and through me as I speak and as I give this word on today, Father God. I pray that it is well received. I pray that there is some type of healing, some type of breakthrough that is done through this, Father God. Lord, I just thank you for who you are again. I just thank you for the gift that is my family, the gift that is my children, Father God. Lord, I just thank you for saying yes in spite of what the enemy tried to do in my life, Father God. Lord, I just thank you for who you are, Father God, and I just lift your name up right now, Lord God. It is in your mighty and matchless name that I pray. Amen. Okay, so today's episode is titled Moments on Purpose. And as you guys can see, I capitalize M-O-M, like mom, moments on purpose. And the reason why I titled today's episode's Moments on Purpose is because a lot of the times we as moms and you know as as a wife and as a mother, we put everybody above ourselves, which there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I really do believe that God's word says for us to outdo each other in love anyway. So I it's not that there's anything wrong with that structure, but it also what I had to realize recently is that you do not have to not take care of yourself in order to take care of other people. So the reason why I titled today's episode Moments on Purpose is because I really believe that as a wife and as a mother, we have to choose to take moments on purpose. The first moments on purpose that we should be taking is waking up a few hours before our kids, whether if it's an hour or two, you know, just getting up before your kids, not waking up to your kids, but waking up for your kids and just really spending some time with the Lord, getting your word, read, study, pray, have a conversation with him, just allow his Holy Spirit to just minister to you, listen for his voice, just spend time with the Lord. I cannot say that I have mastered that just yet, but I will say I see a drastic difference when I wake up and I do that before starting my day, and then on top of you know, homeschooling and getting our day started, it is literally such a game changer, just starting your day with the Lord, with his word, seeing what it is that he has to say to you for that specific day. So that's the first moment on purpose that we should be taking. On top of that, I just really believe that we should be taking moments. It doesn't even matter if it's just one moment throughout the day or multiple moments throughout the day. If you need a moment, take a moment. It's okay. You don't love your children any less. Matter of fact, I am getting way ahead of myself, but I did want to explain why I titled today's episode Moments, moments on purpose. So, moments on purpose. We're gonna dive right in. This episode is especially for you, for me, for all of us, all of us mamas out there. We are mothers. Do y'all understand the significance in that? Like, God literally chose us to care for his babies. Like these babies, there are babies, but they're his babies first. He literally entrusted us to love, to nurture, to care, to model our faith, to teach, to correct. Like, he literally trusted us with so much with his babies. These are his babies, y'all. He trusted us, he chose us. Like, before before we allow the enemy to trick us into thinking that being a mother, especially if you are a stay-at-home mother, that being a mother is like something small. It is not, y'all. It is honestly, it is honestly one of the heaviest titles to carry. Whether if you realize it or not, whether if other people realize it or not, this is a huge calling. I don't know, like it is incredible. And as someone who has experienced loss and someone who has gone through the wringer when it comes to infertility, like, and we'll we'll, you know, I'll dive into that on a whole nother episode just because just breaking those chains that the enemy had, and you know, just just having deliverance and all of that, y'all. We'll talk about that. But I just want to say, like, for me personally, being a mother is something that just truly is near and dear to my heart because it is something that I've always wanted to be. Literally, y'all, when I was in pre-K, a lot to y'all not. When I was in pre-K, now mind you, my passion was always to do hair, right? But you know, when you graduate in pre-K, they ask you, Oh, what do you want to be when you grow up? And at our graduation, I literally said, a mommy, at four years old. So that is something that has always been on my heart, on my mind. I used to play with my dolls day in, day out. I used to act like they were going to school. I used to make their clothes, I used to do their hair, I used to make sure they were fed, bathed, like all of that. I was so engulfed in motherhood. Like I just had so much love to give. Like my heart was so pure when it came to being a mother. And I don't know why I'm feeling like I'm getting a little emotional, but um, I'm just grateful. I'm just grateful to be a mom. Um, I did not expect to get emotional. I don't know if I'm keeping this in, but um, yeah, I did not expect to get emotional, but God, I thank you. Y'all, that is okay. Uh yeah. But yeah, so it's not something that I take lightly at all. You know, I'm not saying I'm perfect as a mother. I'm not, I'm not, but I really, I really love my babies. And I don't know, maybe that's why I got emotional, maybe I'm just grateful. I don't know. But um, this calling is not a small one. You are not overlooked. God literally chose you, He loves you, He sees you. And before He even knitted you, before He even formed you in your mother's womb, He knew that you would be the mother of your babies. He knew that He was gonna choose you. So when the enemy tries to tell you that you're not enough, that you don't amount to the calling, that's a lie. God literally chose you. He chose you. Now, the calling of motherhood is one of the heaviest, in my opinion. It's not just a hobby or something to be taken lightly, it is literally a divine assignment. It's one that requires self-denial and the setting aside of personal desires to take care of and to serve your family. It sounds pretty familiar, y'all. That is a direct correlation to the gospel's self-sacrificial nature. That is something so beautiful. From the moment that we see those two lines, or for a woman like myself, when God placed it on your heart to try to conceive again after loss, it's like we experience this immediate supernatural shift in our minds and our bodies and in our spirits. It's like everything that you say, do, and think is way more intentional. And I don't feel like that's by coincidence. I really do feel like that is by God's perfect design. And again, it's because we have been chosen. God literally saw us as qualified to carry such a heavy mantle, even when we feel like we can't, y'all. Listen, as long as we keep him at the forefront, as long as we keep our eyes up, he has us, he sees us. It's not about what we feel we're qualified to do. If God has called you, answer the call. We were literally made for this. Y'all, we were literally made for this. I want to go through three scriptures today, and when I tell y'all, these scriptures truly have blessed me, they have blessed me. So it's Proverbs 31, 25 through 27, and I'm sure we've all heard about the Proverbs 31 woman. But these three verses here I feel like fit so perfectly with today's message. So, okay, y'all, hold on. I gotta grab my Bible one second. Alright, y'all, I'm back. I got my Bible. So we're gonna go to Proverbs 31. And we are gonna be doing Proverbs 31, 25 through 27. She is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. So, while the whole Proverbs 31, really all of Proverbs, really the whole Bible, but really all of Proverbs 31 is absolutely incredible. I love, I love Proverbs 31. But these three verses, I'm gonna explain to y'all why I love these verses as a mother, and basically why we should be applying these constructs to our life. So we all know as mothers, our job is never, ever, ever, ever done. Like this is a job that is literally 25-8, not 24-7, 25-8. Okay, like round the clock care, round the clock mental alertness, round the clock managing household logistics, physical and emotional caretaking, physical labor, and the list goes on and on and on and on and on and on. I probably didn't have to list any of that because we all know what all goes into being a mother, into being a wife and being a mother. We all know, we all know it's a never-ending job. We all know the sacrifices that we have made in the past, that we make here in the present, and that we will make in the future. We all know it's a never-ending thing. Even when our kids are all grown up, like when I tell y'all I am 30 years old, and the way, the way that I call my mommy in any given situation, like literally to tell her about absolutely nothing, like her job is never done. Like, our jobs are never done as mothers, and I that's so beautiful, it's so beautiful because y'all listen the relationship that I have with my mom is one that is truly unmatched, and that is literally my best friend. Like, when I tell you any little thing, I'm calling my mama. Like, I strive to literally be the type of mother that my mom is to me, to my kids, like sons and daughters, both. Like, I want all of my kids to be able to call me. My husband's desire is the same thing. Like, I don't believe in telling your children that you are not their friend because if you're not who else is, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's not about a I don't believe that telling your children that you're not their friend is going to help them respect you anymore or any less. You can set up healthy boundaries, like, there's no part in me that does not understand that my mom is my mother. You know what I'm saying? I respect her as such, but when I tell you she has my heart, like that is my friend, that is my friend as well as my mother. My mother first, she's my mother first, but she's my friend as well, and y'all, that wasn't even in the notes. I just felt led to say that because God literally, God Himself, our Heavenly Father, calls us his friends. He says that he's our friend, so why wouldn't we model that same behavior? You get what I'm saying? Like, we can be our children's friend, y'all. We are we could be their safe space if we're not gonna be their friend, who will be? You get what I'm saying? Like, they need to know that no, I can lean on mommy, no, I can lean on daddy, I can lean on them. So, with all of that being said, mommy, I love you. I know you're gonna be watching this episode. I love you so so much, and shout out to you. I love you very, very much. I thank you for being the mother that you are. I thank you for being the friend that you are to me. I thank you for never judging me. I thank you for just me being able to turn to you in the hardest of moments. I thank you for just you know having those hard conversations with me and just really, really, really being the mother that you are. So to you, mommy, happy mother's day as well. I love you so so much. And y'all, that was a completely completely unplanned, but I just had to do that. I love her, I love my mommy. So, um, we're gonna rein it back in. We're gonna rein it back in. Proverbs 31, 25 through 27. Let's go ahead and unpack these three verses. Kind of we're kind of gonna do it like line by line so we can just kind of get into the full understanding of what these verses are saying. Okay, so the first line is she is clothed with dignity and strength. Just as we choose our clothes with intentionality, we also have to personally choose strength and dignity rather than just physical strength. The strength mentioned here represents spiritual, moral, and emotional fortitude rooted in a relationship with the father. The dignity represents honor, splendor, and grace. It is a humble and quiet confidence rooted in faith. Wow. All I can say is wow. All I can say is wow. Like, like basically, we just have to stay connected to the father. So, like I was saying in the beginning, y'all start your day with the Lord. And that that is something I'm still trying to perfect, if I'm being completely honest, because some mornings are not perfect, some mornings do not go as planned, but literally, y'all staying connected to the source, staying connected to the father, being in close relationship with him, starting your days with him and walking your days, not even just starting your days with him, but just closely walking with him daily, daily. We can be clothed with dignity and strength to push through, to get through this journey, y'all. Like, we don't have to do it alone. We're not supposed to, we're not meant to do it alone. He wants to walk with us. We just gotta invite him. We just have to invite him. So the next line is she can laugh at the days to come. When I read that, when you when you laugh, and when you laugh at the days to come, that means you're at peace. That means you have no worry, you have no care at all. Like you got your feet kicked up, you are relaxed. Like, that's what I hear when I read it. I hear that she isn't bound by fear and anxiety, she's not worried about anything because she's so intentional in her character, in her relationship with the Lord, and how she truly trusts God to lead her and guide her every step of the way. She finds joy in that and she's truly able to rest, she's truly able to abide in him. Like, y'all, the like the joy of the Lord is literally her strength. Like, oh my yeah, that just came full circle. Like, the joy of the Lord is our strength, y'all. Like, that's where our strength comes from. The joy of the Lord, like, it's like literally full circle that joy, that peace. We just have to rest in knowing that our father cares for us, our father loves us, he is concerned about us, his will, his perfect will for us is literally he's God, y'all. He's God, his perfect will is perfect. We can rest, we can rest in those facts. These are not assumptions, these are facts. We can rest in that, y'all. So, yes, we can laugh at the days to come. The next line is says, She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She speaks with wisdom.

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Okay.

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And so y'all know we know that the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. That reverence, that awe, that respect of God's holiness and his sovereignty, y'all is needed. It is needed daily to do this thing, y'all. It's is needed. Not even just motherhood, but just life in general. But in this case, we're talking about motherhood. The fear of the Lord literally leads to obeying his word, hating evil, and walking humbly. Something that we all need, y'all. We all need it. We all need it. And the second half of that sentence is and faithful instruction is on her tongue. So, what makes her instruction faithful? Like, what just automatically deems her instruction as faithful instruction? Well, because her source is the father, her instruction will be consistent with his word. That's what makes it accurate and reliable, y'all. Because she's connected to the father. I'm not gonna say, but we're human, we're human, but a lot of the time, majority of the time, because she's speaking with wisdom, because she's connected to the source, it's gonna line up with his word. So you can't miss when you're lining up with his word. If she, if we get a little confused on what we need to do, his word is right here, his word is right here. So we can always fact check, we can always double check behind ourselves, and we can make sure that we are walking in alignment with God and his word. So that's what makes the instruction faithful. So the next line says, She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat of the bread of idleness. So she isn't just present, she isn't just sitting around and her presence is just there and she's doing absolutely nothing. She's watchful, alert, vigilant, and on guard. At all times. At all times. She's she's paying attention to her surroundings, she's paying attention to what her kids are doing. She isn't lazy, she isn't slothful, not to be mistaken, with restful. She's choosing productivity over wasting her time. She holds herself to a high standard and is actively working to improve the lives of her family and her community. Just from those three verses there, I would say that the Proverbs 31 woman is definitely one of virtue. And what are we doing here on Wonder Virtue Podcasts? We are striving to be one of virtue. And I just I just really, really love these three verses here. I feel like it's like the perfect model to follow. Keeping Christ at the forefront of our minds, starting our days with him, um, following his instruction, and just being all that we can be, putting all that we can into being a wife and a mother, just truly putting our best foot forward in everything that we say, do, and think. And what I found coming from a mama that was working full-time and then part-time, and then finally made that transition to just give all that I can into being a wife and a mother, I would honestly say that just some advice that I would give if you are kind of in that transitional period. The quicker that you shift your mindset from oh my gosh, I have to do this, to while I get to do this, and you look at it as an honor and a privilege, you look at it as the honor and privilege that it really is and the calling that it is. Like this is your first ministry. We gotta cultivate it well, y'all. We have to, and it's a blessing, it really, really, really is a blessing. So I just just shift your mindset and just know that you are exactly where God wants you to be. Who's gonna cultivate your home better than you? Who? I mean, really, we can't hire someone to do it. Will we trust in the teachers to do it? Who who are we who do we have? God put us there. And I I'm gonna make I'm gonna make this a whole nother episode with you know how the world views things and how the world just so actively tries to work against God's natural way of things because I truly do believe that this is God's natural order. But like I said, I'll make that a whole nother episode, a whole nother conversation piece. But yeah, like just y'all, lit literally, literally, we are exactly where we need to be. Point blank, period. Don't let anybody tell you anything different. You are needed exactly where you are. Now, back to why I titled today's episode moments, moments on purpose. So for me, it's really easy to forget about myself a lot of the time. Like, y'all, it's so bad to wear I could intentionally be going to somewhere like TJ Maxx, right? And for myself, I'm going to TJ Maxx for myself. My kids need absolutely nothing because I always get them whatever they need when they need it, like they need nothing, right? I'm going to TJ Maxx for myself. My body, my mind automatically walks straight past the women's section, and I go straight to the kids section every single time. Like, Avi, you're here for you. How did you end up in the kids' section? I couldn't tell you. It's well, I can tell you, it's because I literally just pour so much of myself into my kids, so much of myself into my husband, and it's it is it is so important, y'all, that we take those moments on purpose and we do them. Not only do we just take the moments, but we actually utilize the moment for ourselves. This is something that I am actively trying to work on, but I have to share because I know I'm not in this alone. I know I'm not the only one that finds herself just truly giving, like I'm talking about pouring all of you out and then not replenishing yourself. Honestly, y'all, it can lead to burnout. It can, and that is not good. Like, we are not meant to just be on go, go, go, go, go, and never taking a moment and never taking a step back and taking a moment to ourselves and just refilling our own cup. So, y'all think about it this way: if you pour out 20% of your cup each day, you still keep 80% for your own rest, you can continue pouring steadily without much strain. If you constantly pour out 50%, you may still function well, but you only start competing with what you give others. If you pour out 80 to 90 percent, if you pour out 80 to 90 percent all the time, eventually there's barely gonna be enough for yourself. Literally, y'all, even the simple things patience, motivation, creativity, joy, you literally start running on E. That's not good. That's not good for you. That's not good for your household. That's not good for anyone involved, honestly. You start feeling overwhelmed, and that's just it's not okay. And if you try to pour from 0%, you're no longer given from abundance. You're literally scraping the bottom. It's often at the expense of your health, your peace, your joy, your understanding, your rest. And then you've forgotten all about the things that you found fun in life. Like, y'all, that's not okay. That's not how God intended it to be. We have to be refilling our cup daily with Him, with His Word, with His spirit. And then we can take those, we can do those little things that just make us happy. Like for me, y'all, I love to make me either a matcha in the morning or a coffee. Like I enjoy the process of making it. I enjoy that first sip. Because in my mind, nobody can make my coffee how I like my coffee like me. And I just love it or my matcha. I love it. I love it. That's something that like just that's something that just brings me joy in the morning when I start my day, you know? Or you know, something as simple as going to get your feet done. Something as simple as just going to the park to go read, you know, or sitting on your back porch and just listening to music. Just literally planning those small moments to yourself, it makes all the difference in the world. Making you a nail appointment. Now, yes, that's maintenance, but take that drive by yourself. And here's the thing too, y'all. Like, I I got it so bad to where I could ask my husband to take the kids out, take them somewhere. But like while they're gone, I am either calling him, FaceTiming them, um, going through pictures in my phone of them because I miss them so much. And sometimes I can say, yeah, I might be a little lost in motherhood, but honestly, I mean, it's like it's okay, but at the same time, like still take those moments to yourself, y'all. It's important, it's important, it's so important. Like I said, I am I am telling y'all this, but I am also holding myself to the standard, or I'm trying to. This isn't something that I've mastered, but I'm sharing it with you because I know I'm not the only one that needs this word. We have to be intentional about ourselves as well, just as intentional as we are with everyone else. We have to be intentional with ourselves, especially if you're a stay-at-home mama. This is something that I did a lot better at in the beginning, but I am going to start back at it. But like just getting up those extra hours before, just making yourself feel pretty. You know what I'm saying? Like doing your hair, putting on a little makeup if you want to, you know, whatever, whatever it is that you do to make you feel like you, do it. You know what I'm saying? Like, don't lose yourself. Don't lose yourself. Of course, you know, you have your identity in Christ, but I'm talking about those womanly things that make you feel good, that make you feel happy. That's what I'm talking about. Like I said, y'all, this is something that I am actively working at. I believe that if you're watching this or if you're listening to this, you are also trying to master this, and y'all, trust me, we got it. We got it. We just have to be intentional. We just have to be intentional. I really do believe we can do it. The joy of the Lord is our strength, y'all. We got this, we got this, we got this, and God has us. And y'all, that is all I have for today. So before we end this episode, of course, y'all know I have to ask y'all this. If there was anything that has tugged on your heart, if you are not a believer in Christ already, if there's anything that tugged on your heart that just makes you want to truly know who God is, that makes you want to walk with God, that makes you want to surrender your life to Christ, I want to offer you the opportunity right here, right now, to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. So if you're watching this, I'm gonna put the prayer on the screen. If you're listening, I'm gonna pray the prayer, but I'm gonna take some pauses so you can repeat after me. Okay? So, dear Heavenly Father, I am a sinner in desperate need of a savior. I believe what your word says in John 3.16. And Lord, I thank you for loving me this much. I repent right now for my sins and for breaking your laws. I genuinely ask for your forgiveness. I believe that Jesus Christ is your son who has died on the cross for my sins. I believe that he rose on the third day for my victory. I now declare and receive Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. May the blood of Jesus speak on my behalf from this day forward. Thank you for seeking after me and accepting me into your kingdom. Amen. Y'all listen. I know this episode was a little all over the place, but I pray that this at least touches one person. To God be the glory. If there's anything that stood out to you in this episode, y'all please leave it down in the comments. Let's get these conversations going. Let me know if there's anything that just has truly been speaking to you through this podcast. There's anything, there's any topics, anything in particular that y'all want to discuss, leave it down in the comments, y'all. We are walking this walk together. We are becoming one of virtue together. I pray that y'all have an amazing rest of your day. God bless you, and again, happy Mother's Day. And I'll see y'all in the next one. Bye guys.