Beauty from Broken Vows Pt. 2

Can a marriage truly survive after infidelity?

Simple answer: Absolutely!

Here’s how:

Just like with any other sin, any other transgression, any other iniquity, REPENTANCE (a complete change of mind and heart that results in a change of action. It is far more than just feeling sorry or guilty; it is TURNING AWAY from sin and INTENTIONALLY turning toward God to live in obedience to His will.) and the fear of the LORD from both spouses is the KEY! 

If you consider yourself to be a believer in Christ Jesus and you truly understand the gospel, this should not be a hard concept to grasp. 

If you have a hard time understanding this, ask yourself “why?”.

Where do you draw the line of what YHWH can do if the person decides to choose Him? Do you truly believe that God is exactly who He says He is? Do you believe that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever?

Past the initial carnal thinking, the reality is: There is not one thing nor one person that God can’t redeem! 

Here’s the catch,though: WE have to make the CHOICE to change! We have to DECIDE that living for Christ is what we want to do! We have to CHOOSE the fear of the Lord! 

God can do anything with someone with a true heart of repentance, surrender, and humility!

This series of One of Virtue Podcast | Beauty from Broken Vows is not magnify or glorify the disgusting sins and iniquities we once lived in. 

This series is for the believer who feels as if they’ve gone too far and can’t be redeemed. NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU FEEL YOU’VE MESSED UP, SURRENDER TO THE FATHER! REPENT! WHERE YOU SPEND YOUR ETERNITY IS AT STAKE!

We are living proof of what God can do THE MOMENT that you give Him your YES!!

GIVE HIM YOUR YES!🤍

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, hello, everybody. We are back with yet another episode of One of Virtue Podcasts, and this is a continuation of the last episode Beauty from Broken Vows. This is part two. So, of course, we have my husband still here with us.

SPEAKER_01 0:13

Hello.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Basically, where we left off last week is we were just about to get into our 10 questions that we have for each other. My husband was saying that he wanted to go first. So, um, if you guys did not listen to that episode, I would highly recommend you guys going back to that episode, listening to that one, and then coming back and joining us for these 10 questions that we are about to be asking each other. But before we get started, of course, we're gonna open us up in a quick prayer.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

So, Dear Heavenly Father, Lord God, we thank you for this day. We thank you for the gift of testimony. We thank you for setting us free from the hand of the enemy. Lord God, we thank you that we are no longer bound. We thank you that you are the restorer of our soul, of our relationship, Heavenly Father. We pray that your spirit flows through this episode. We pray that we speak with wisdom and knowledge of what your word says. Heavenly Father, I just pray over our hearts and minds through these questions, Heavenly Father. And I just pray that you be with everyone listening to this podcast. I pray that it helps someone. I pray that you do your work in others' heart just like you've done in ours. Yes, Lord. In your son, Jesus Christ's name we pray. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

Amen. Yeah. So you ready to ask me the first question?

SPEAKER_02 1:28

Yeah, so um at the end of part one, you were kind of talking about how you were just done with our relationship in general. Um, I think that just kind of leads perfectly into my first question for you. Uh, how did you envision marriage when you were living in the world?

SPEAKER_00 1:45

That's a good question. Um, well, for one, I always knew, I I'll start with this. I always knew that I would be a wife. I always knew that I was wife material. Um, so whatever that means, like I I knew that I don't know, I just knew I would be a wife. I knew that that was naturally the type of woman that I was, um, just by some of the standards that I had. Um, you know, despite mistakes that I made, just some of the standards that I had, I just figured, you know, that I would be a a wife. And so with that, I would say honestly, while living in the world, so let me hopefully this makes sense the way that I answer it. But in my life, it was like I've always kind of known where I would be in life and who I would become, but I would do things counterproductive to that. So with that being said, who I am today is almost like who I knew I would be, but who I was back then in like my life, I would always do nothing to get to that point of who I was. So I would say I knew I would, I I knew what it was supposed to look like. I did nothing to strive to be who I am today. So is that kind of answering your question?

SPEAKER_02 3:21

Like, yeah, I mean, kind of where you saw yourself today, how you carry yourself right now is kind of what you envision marriage to be or is supposed to be, which is correct. But and I think that kind of ties into how you carried that mindset of, oh, I'm dealt with this, I'm done with this relationship because of the lack of this presence of the Holy Spirit.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

That's why I just made that face, because that's exactly what it was. Because you remember, I would, I would always, throughout our relationship, I would kind of nudge you, like, hey, you know, I think we should go to church this Sunday. Or I think we should listen to this uh pastor or this this video. Like I would I would always kind of nudge you. Like, it was like basically the Holy Spirit telling me, like, y'all not gonna be able to do this without without me. Y'all not gonna be able to do this without the Lord. And you know, I think because of the level of betrayal and just that physical, like that, that physical thing being done, I'm like, there's no way. I was like, we are too far gone. Like, this is this is this can't be fixed, like this can't be saved, this can't be redeemed, like this is it, we're done. And that's why I was like to prove to myself that we're done. I'm gonna go and do the same thing. Like, we're done. Like, I I can't I can't do this anymore. Like, you don't want what we know to be right, which was to have Christ in our marriage, and not just in our marriage, but in the center of our marriage. Um, so yeah, that it was like I knew that that, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

So just I guess continuing on our story, I think that's kind of perfect because obviously, you know, we're not separated, so there had to be something that happened in between that moment and now. I guess you can kind of explain what happened in between those moments where we were separated and decided to get back together.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

Or whatever the Lord wants us to share.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

Um, so if that's what you feel just our life, uh kind of like our what our lifestyle looked like at the time.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Like what was all going on.

SPEAKER_02 5:46

After finding out what what did our lifestyle then look like?

SPEAKER_00 5:51

Oh, like um are we talking about our our separation period and okay filing We didn't actually file though.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

We tried to, but we didn't.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

We did.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

We went downtown, but we did try to file, we weren't understanding.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

We did. You we we did make an attempt, but I think that was like the one attempt that we did. Yeah, and it didn't work. Um okay, so basically, um, you know, found out and I kicked you out, I stole your phone for days so that I can find all evidence and make screenshots. I remember um not sleeping for days, knowing I was pregnant, and contemplating coming up to your job to fight the woman. And um, I remember, oh, I remember going in our bank account, taking all the money. What else?

SPEAKER_02 7:02

We were separated.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

We were separated as in like you being moved out for about a month. And so within that month, of course, I was doing what I was doing, and at some point you had become privy of privy to what I was doing, and I kind of like rubbed it in your face. Right? Or was that when you moved back in?

SPEAKER_02 7:25

So there was a point in time where I knew, and you didn't know I know. I knew.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Are you just now telling me this?

SPEAKER_02 7:33

No, we talked about it briefly. Kind of when you kind of when you started laying everything out, and I was just kind of telling you how I knew about certain things.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

What did you know about?

SPEAKER_02 7:45

I knew you had something going on because at one point in time, I don't know, we I came over for we were separated, but I I would come over.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

We were still we were separated, but we were still like hanging out.

SPEAKER_02 8:01

We were still kinda Yeah, hearing that we would see each other sit around, I guess. And you know, there'd be points and times where I may see you may be in your phone and I may see something.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

Okay, I do remember that. So like little random things. Like, okay, like the specific number, like why does number keep texting you? Yeah, I remember that now.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

And then I don't know, I might have seen a screenshot one one time of of the guy.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

So I was privy to what was going on at the time.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

You knew I had at least when talking to the person. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:42

Yes. That you were involved with someone else at the time. During that separation period. Um, so I'll say, I guess I'm not trying to jump the gun on all my questions, but I think it's just fitting kind of perfectly. Um, I guess my next question for you would be what mindset, you know, kind of led to your decision to stay in this relationship or pick it back up? Um, what was your thought process at the time?

SPEAKER_00 9:16

I'm gonna be honest, I did not feel released to divorce you. I didn't feel released to leave you. Like basically, there was a part of me, and I know it was the Holy Spirit, but there was a part of me that still knew that you would become this guy. And then and then just knowing that we did not do things the way we were supposed to, that was eating me up because it's like we are literally letting the devil win. Like this is I know what it takes for us to be successful in this marriage, and which is why I would nudge you the way I would. And I think I even told you, I'll like no, I I did tell you, I said the only way that this is gonna work is if we devote our lives to Christ as the only way, and I'm not accepting anything other than because that is that is it. It was it was literally like that was my condition, and you know, in dealing with the person that I was dealing with, you know, I began to heavily be convicted to the point where, like, you know, I mean it it I'm just gonna be honest, you know, I'm crying to him, like, this is wrong. We are not supposed to be doing this, and I have sucked you into my drama, like you are wrong too, for what you are doing. I am somebody's wife, you know, and it just all of all of that, it felt as if it was too far gone, but it was like I still knew who God was. And I'm like, God, I I know for some reason I feel it in my spirit that this is what you have put together. We've messed it up, but you can fix it. And I know that you this is what I'm saying to God, I know that you want us together. That's why I'm like, okay, no, we can do this, but we have to do it with Christ.

SPEAKER_02 11:24

And it didn't immediately happen, did it? Um living for Christ. You know, we we had gotten back together, but we still weren't living a righteous life.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

We were still at the time throwing little things at the at the kickbacks, a little get together, still drinking.

SPEAKER_02 11:45

Drinking and listening to ridiculous music. We would go out to the to downtown to party every now and then. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

Still living, yeah, yeah. I think we were still in, well, you were at that point, you were still in college, so we still have those college connections. We were still young. We just it was like our apartment became like our dorm room type. Like we were still, it was we were still in that lifestyle. Um, but now we're still in that lifestyle. We're the only ones, well, no, no. We're the second ones to get married, but you know, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law, they were slightly removed from that lifestyle because they started having kids, and you know, they had already started walking that path um of getting to righteousness. Um, so you know, we were trailing, trailing behind, but slowly.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

Um I'll say this a part of my personal testimony is I I reached a point in my life where I I rejected God, and I know in my heart that I rejected God. It wasn't a um, I guess some people how some people can sin and not know they're sinning, it wasn't it wasn't one of those situations. I know I did not want to live for God. I had that in my heart. So, you know, we got back together, but I know I didn't, even then, I had no intention on living a righteous life. So she'd give me these conditions, and you know, I I might I might say okay, or or shrug it off, or I might sit in silence, but I didn't have any intention on um living a righteous lifestyle. Like I wanted, I still wanted to basically do what I want to do. And you know, through that process, we saw even after we had gotten back together, uh, the effect that it had on our marriage. We didn't talk, really. Um, intimacy never recovered. We both were essentially, well, my wife likes she used to say it all the time, we were essentially roommates.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

Yeah. So yes, I remember saying that. I remember feeling that. It was like pass and go.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

Mm-hmm. I would come home, I would go to work, you know, sometimes. No, you made me quit that job. So, so she made me quit that job, and I found another job.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

That's probably that job was I I'll say this.

SPEAKER_02 14:26

You want to talk about consequences for action? Yeah, that job was definitely it. Like, you're talking about a nasty, uh, filthy job where the work you had to soak your work clothes, and even that. I had to soak your work clothes for a day.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

Tell them what you had to do. Tell them what the job was.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

So don't say the company, just so I worked for a kitchen exhaust cleaning and assembly company. Um, essentially, for those who don't know what that is, it's a company that goes to restaurants and have all their their uh cooking material, the grills, the fryers, um, griddles, whatever you whatever you can think of, ovens, whatever you can think of. And above those things in the restaurant is supposed to be a ventilation system that kind of pulls the the grease naturally. Um it's a ventilation system for the smoke and the grease, just to kind of pull all the negativity out of there essentially and release it into the environment. So, of course, when you have that ventilation system, it's it's a fire hazard. So it was the company I work for. We went in there, we cleaned. You would clean the ventilation system from top to bottom. So you would have to climb on the roof, clean the fan, you would have to clean the ductwork going all the way into the kitchen, you would have to clean out the hood system that's inside the kitchen. Um, you would have to install hardware, you would have to run wire, you know, just it was a it was a na and it was a nasty, nasty job.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

Filthy job.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

Grease everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 16:17

You had locks at the time.

SPEAKER_02 16:18

I would get grease in my hair. My clothes were all greased up. Like I I would go to work looking in one color uniform, and then I would come home looking like a uh leopard because I'm just spotty. And it was it was a nasty.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

That was some repercussions right there.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

And you know, I approached it with humility, you know. I at least from that aspect, there was a lot of things I did not approach with humility. Um, I don't even know why we got on that job.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

Well, because you were saying I made you quit the other job.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

Yes, just living.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Yeah, still living, still living. Oh, because you were saying you had no desire to live for Christ. Like you you reject, you knew in your heart that you had rejected God.

SPEAKER_02 17:04

Right. And right, and I I just didn't have a desire to live a righteous lifestyle. So, yeah, we would we would sporadically go to church, but to me, that was just checking off a box to make my wife happy. Um, we never talked about God inside our home. We never prayed inside our home. Uh, we did, we were roommates. I'd go to work, come home. That's how we got to it. I was going through my routine. I'd go to work, I'd come home, uh, I'd shower, then I'd go to bed. Or I might play the game a little bit, then I'd go to bed. Or, you know, I shower and I'll get ready for class, or something of that nature. And it was.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

You were in your own world and I was in mine.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

I can say it was definitely a suffocating environment. And to me, I carried a mindset of, okay, I was on the brink of divorce. Now I'm not, to me, this is just good enough. This is what it what it has to be. No, I'm not happy, but here again, I'm a I have an isolated mindset. So to me, I'm just, it's a lot of things that I just kept internal, a lot of things that I sucked up and didn't speak up, speak up about. Um because in my mind, because of my due to my actions, I was kind of robbed of having any qualms about my situation. I mean, I I don't know, do you think you carried that same?

SPEAKER_00 18:38

I think because of, and not to just blame everything on the depressive state, but I think because I was already in a depressive state, and then you know, we opened ourselves up spiritually, demonically, spiritually, to so much I think I was just existing, like, whatever that looked like. Like, I don't even think I had a clear grasp of life of what was actually going on, like what was actually happening. Like, of course I knew it was happening, but like we both have now slept with other people in our marriage within our covenant. Um, I was already dealing with the first law. No, I actually did not deal with the first loss. I didn't deal with I'll I'll never forget this. I did not deal with the first loss until the second loss. And I remember we were we were at your parents' house, and I remember your mom just kind of talking me through. And she said that I just needed to forgive myself. And when she said that, it was like something broke in me. And I broke, and I don't even cry. I don't, for one, I don't cry for real. I don't, but I remember breaking down in that moment. So that was like the official moment where I actually dealt with or somewhat dealt with the first loss. Then we had another loss, and everything else that was just going on, I don't even think I could grasp or fathom what all was happening. So yeah, I don't I think I was just like meh. Like, I'm just here. I'm just here, and um you know, the enemy would try to say things like you know, you would be better off not here, meaning exiting the earth, you know what I'm saying? Um just a lot of a lot of those thoughts were consistent in you know both of us.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

I didn't mean interrupting.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

No, go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

Um Yeah, those thoughts were consistent in both of us. We carried that that mindset of for me and for me specifically, I carried a mindset of worthlessness.

unknown 20:56

Both of us.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

So yeah, that's kind of where we were uh mentally and then that that continued for years into our marriage. You know, we were sitting at two years, two plus years in, and we still weren't going to church.

SPEAKER_00 21:13

Well, okay, so no, we did, we did actually stream, like during COVID, we actually did stream um some churches. And I I think that was that was pivotal. It was the start of something.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

I was checking another box, if you ask me.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

Really?

SPEAKER_02 21:30

Even then.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

Okay. Um Well, you okay, you think you were, but I feel like it was making well all these things essentially were planting seeds.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

Planting seeds in in my in my life.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

Yeah. Whether if you thought you were checking off a box or not, it was um and then I think f for the first time we decided to actually look for a physical church to commit to.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

And we were looking throughout the area. Kind of didn't really come to an agreement on the church. And it's funny, the church that we ended up going to is probably the first church I named that we should try.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

And I ended up finding it online, not even knowing that we were talking about the same church.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

So, so yeah, that's kind of how we came to an agreement on which church to kind of uh attend that we will physically commit to for that season that we were in.

SPEAKER_00 22:32

And we skipping though.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

What we skipped?

SPEAKER_00 22:35

We had baby girl at that point, and that's she was six months old.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

Oh and you know what that's kind of what sparked that's probably what sparked it.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

I think us having yeah. Us having a baby. Cause I think a lot, so man, this is probably gonna be like four parts. I ain't gonna lie to you, because we got a lot. We got a lot. We got a lot. Um dang, we ain't even it's okay though. Holy Spirit, have your way. Um, so you know, why I mentioned her is because you know, it's not that we just weren't intimate because we were, but it was just far and few in between. And it had gotten to a point where for me, my body, I lost two babies. We lost two babies. I began to desperately want a baby. Like at this point, I'm like, now I feel like I got something to prove because my body has failed me twice and not even healed, not even healed from like mentally, spiritually, from those losses, but I'm just like, at this point, I want to have a baby. Um, and even getting pregnant took a while. It took a while, it took a while, you know, we conceived, and she made it here. She's she's healthy. I do believe that she brought us closer. I do. And you know, there was even an attempted attack from the enemy on her, on her life, um two separate ones, but the first one being while she was still in the womb at the very end of the pregnancy. Um, and I think at that point we both were just like, we just want our baby. Like, whatever we gotta do to get her here, we just want our baby. Um and she's here. And I'm trying to remember, because I know at one point, um, you know, I had gotten at that point, you know, we moved, we moved quite some way from where we were. So um, you know, of course I was still servicing clients, but it was a long drive for my clients, and you know, still dealing with the depressive state, just kind of dwindling a little bit, you know. I still had my space to do hair in the home, but it was like it just I was not working as much. And I was in this mindset of like, I am used to making bank, you know what I'm saying? And you know, pride started to stir up, and I think you had made a comment that I took the wrong way. I don't even remember what the comment was, but it was something involving money, and I don't even think you meant it in the way that I took it, but I took it to mean like I don't even know, I don't even know what I took it to mean, but I just was like, oh no, I'm not having it. Yeah, it made me feel yeah, and I'm like, oh no, you think I'm like, look, you think this is who you marry? You know, I am a go-getter, like I am an ambitious person. I I'm about to go out here and get it. I don't care how I get it, but I'm about to get it. And at the time, you know, my baby, I just had a baby. I'm like, probably probably in the state that I am right now, five months postpartum. Like, okay, even if I gotta go do physical labor, I can count it as a workout, and I can go make me some money. So I sure did make an I sure did fill out an application for FedEx, and I went and worked for how many months? I don't know, probably like three months, probably lasted like not even three months, but it was short, it was short-lived, probably three, probably like three or four months. I don't know, but I was like, I'm about to go make my own money and still do hair, but I'm about to go make my own money, so I remember it was something that we were arguing about, and I'm bringing all this up because this is where we still were in our marriage after having a baby, but I remember coming home and I remember whatever we were arguing about. I think this was my last time bringing up the D-word divorce, but we had a blow-up, um, and I think I started to pack up and I was like throwing clothes around, like, you know, just manifesting. Like I say, I was very toxic, and I was still very much toxic in that now. Our daughter was not around, she was in her bed, um, and she was not disturbed, she didn't wake up or anything, but it that I'm just speaking to where we still were, even after like starting life again, you know, and having a new a new baby, and just you know, even being in church, but still dealing with these things because we're not dealing with the root of our issues. We're we're trying, we're basically acting our way rather than actually having a true relationship with the father.

SPEAKER_02 27:59

We were we we started going to church at this by this time, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:02

We were in church. Okay, yeah, for sure. For sure. No, we were we were in church, we were in church, and um I just remembered that being the last time because I was like, I cannot keep this cycle going. For one, I need to get that word out of my vocabulary. Um, I felt heavily convicted on that, and I'm like, we have this beautiful baby girl on the outside, and even honestly, even on the inside, we just needed to do the work, but on the outside and even on the inside, we had a beautiful life. We just needed to have it rooted in Christ and truly appreciate what the Lord has done in our life. Um, and I want to say this really quick. I'm gonna say it really quick. When we were we weren't even dating yet, and we were on Uvu. Remember Uvu?

SPEAKER_01 28:52

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

We were on Uvu because he he didn't have an iPhone and we wanted to video chat, and we weren't even dating it. We were literally just still in the talking phase, and I remember asking him, we were like up at like five o'clock in the morning, and I remember asking you, I was like, if you had a daughter, what would you name her? And I was like, you go first. I already have the name that I would have, I mean, that I would name my daughter. Um, but what would you name your daughter if you had a daughter? What did you say?

SPEAKER_02 29:23

I said Skylar.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

Okay, and when he said that, I was like, man, this is my person. Because, no, literally, y'all, my little god sister, she had this dog, and it's gonna sound so crazy. She had this beautiful, um, it wasn't a pit bull, you know, what's another she might have been a pit bull bully mix, but she was beautiful, and her name was Skye, and I love that name. And when this person right here said Skylar, and I had Sky, I was like, well, this is my this is my person, and if we have a daughter, her name is gonna be Skylar, nicknamed Skye. And first child, we had the uh the uh the little cannons, we saw pink, so we got our Skylar. Yeah, we got our Skylar.

SPEAKER_02 30:19

Then that's almost prophetic, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

It is when you think about it. It is, it really is. So I'm like, Lord, I know there's been so many, I know that you have destined for us to be together. I know that you have put us together. We're the ones that made it ridiculously ugly. You know, we allowed the enemy to infiltrate our camp, but we're coming back, Lord, we're coming to you. We're gonna dedicate our lives to you, and we're gonna put you at the center the way that you intended for it to be. Um, so yeah. Is that you think that's a good stopping point for me to ask you a question?

SPEAKER_02 31:01

Yeah, if you got a question for me.

SPEAKER_00 31:03

Yeah, I got I got two.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

We're gonna go, we're gonna go, we're gonna take this thing one at a time. So let's see. Let's see.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

Which one? Now you ain't used that stylist the whole time.

SPEAKER_00 31:16

I know. Because I'm now I'm about to ask the questions. All right. I guess the first question I can ask is, at what moment did you know that I was your wife? That I was gonna be your wife?

SPEAKER_02 31:31

That's a good question. And it's almost it's almost hard to pinpoint because I knew for such a long time. Like, I don't want to say, like, since the day I met you, like how you said with me. It definitely wasn't that soon, but very early on into our relationship, honestly, if I I can think about it before I even before I even decided to ask you to be my girlfriend. Because I mean, you know about my you know about my history, you know that I I didn't I didn't date anybody.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

I was your first girlfriend.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

I didn't date anybody, so I guess there was that intentionality there of marriage when I asked you to be my girlfriend. It wasn't gonna be a temporary thing or it wasn't gonna be in my mind, it wasn't gonna be a moment in time where I thought we weren't together.

SPEAKER_00 32:33

So Okay, well dang, so that that early on, that's a beautiful thing. You know, a lot of a lot of men say they kind of know.

SPEAKER_02 32:45

Mm-hmm. Like early on before they actually Well, my situation is any evidence. I have to say that's true.

SPEAKER_00 32:53

Yeah. Okay. Should I go ahead and do number two since you've done two? Or do you wanna is there one that can kind of caveat off of what I just asked you?

SPEAKER_01 33:04

No, no, go ahead. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 33:06

I do think we should continue on how we got to where we are now. Uh I can kind of speak personally here. Um, when we started going to church, well, first of all, Skylar changed a lot in my mindset, in the state of my mind where I didn't necessarily want to. I can't even say that's true. I'll say I had finally reached a point in my life where I was overwhelmed by that weight I was carrying behind what our relationship looked like. You didn't you didn't know that, of course, but um that moment where that first Sunday we decided to go to church, it seemed like every single song that was sung that Sunday was freedom something, freedom this, freedom from this, freedom from that.

SPEAKER_00 34:04

You know they played one of the songs at church a couple of weeks ago. That first song. I meant to I meant to nudge you, but I didn't you were deep into worship, so I didn't want to nudge you. But yeah, I was like, man, I don't it kind of felt full circle a little bit. But go ahead, sorry.

SPEAKER_02 34:22

I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say that I naturally had blockers from anything of the Lord because I rejected them. But I what it I don't know what it was about that Sunday, but it felt like I heard a message I'd never heard before. And I'm not gonna sit here and say that something that was said so differently, but my ears had been my ears had been opened to receive this and my heart had been softened. And I think from that moment, you know, even even though we weren't perfect, even though we still did things not the right way, even though we didn't, that wasn't a moment where I decided to give up every worldly thing that I had going on with me. Um that was the moment I decided to change. And Skylar was just extra motivation to that. So, you know, kind of throughout that journey, we're continuing to go to church. And you could, it's funny because it's funny how how the Lord works because he convicts so rapidly, and it's almost like the thing that you were able to do yesterday, you're not able to do today.

SPEAKER_00 35:42

Come on.

SPEAKER_02 35:43

Like I remember, I can remember drinking being fine in in our household. Um specifically, you didn't drink as much. You had kind of fallen.

SPEAKER_00 35:54

I had gotten into wine.

SPEAKER_02 35:56

Yeah, you had fallen off of the just liquor.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

I never liked liquor. Well, remember I used I literally used to do shots because I did not like liquor. I wanted it to get it, I wanted to get it over with. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:07

So yeah, you had fallen out of the liquor lifestyle and you know, navigated the wine. I was still, you know, have would you call me heavily drinking?

SPEAKER_00 36:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:22

So yeah, I was still heavily drinking. Uh and then you just kind of you just kind of saw these things melt away from my life. Like the the music. You know, we listen to rap music all the time. Worldly carnal music all the time. Um, the liquor, you saw melt away from my life. Uh what else was that?

SPEAKER_00 36:45

Cussing. The cussing, like oh the type of things we used to watch.

SPEAKER_02 36:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 36:50

The humor has changed.

SPEAKER_02 36:51

Source of entertainment. Like, and it and it just started happening one after the other. And before you know it, we got introduced to, we had connected with our friends, and they're still our friends today.

SPEAKER_00 37:05

The Thomas's.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

It's a it's a divine connection for sure. But you know, before you know it, we were we had connected with our friends, and we had a walk together, essentially. We're at the same time, both of our relationships are just melting things off of us, you know, crucifying flesh. We began fasting. I don't know how much how much one of virtue knows about Skylar.

SPEAKER_00 37:33

How much does one of Virtue know about Skylar and her testimony? Um, you're talking about the autism, her being delivered from autism, right? Um, well, it depends on how the people found me. If they found me through TikTok, then um it's very likely that some of the listeners know. But in short, because we will probably do another, not probably, we will do another episode giving full detail on that, probably a few episodes on that as well. But basically, um the Lord had kind of been highlighting to me some things that was going on with her and her development. Um, but again, because of the two losses, you know, and my lack of spiritual knowledge, I was just like, whatever my baby comes with, I just want her, you know. Um, and I think you kind of had somewhat of that same thought process. We just wanted our baby, we just loved her. Whatever she came with, we just wanted her, we just loved her, and so um, you know, whatever she did that was delayed, we were just happy that she was doing it. Um, so the crawling late, the walking late, just some other things that we started noticing. Um basically, our baby was was autistic world term, but she um, you know, how how can I just say it flat out? Um you know, she was essentially demonized, um, and a demonic spirit was what was causing the autism, or you know, what the world calls autism, but she is now and has been set free and delivered from that demonic spirit, and it's been two plus years at this point. April 2nd, made two years, and we are here May 16th, and you asked me that. What were you?

SPEAKER_02 39:45

I was drawing that back to just the things that began to happen in our life when we started to um give up, surrender our lives to Christ and surround ourselves with community, like-minded community. And um, so even at even at that time, we were still our marriage still wasn't on the up and up.

SPEAKER_00 40:10

We were just kind of coasting.

SPEAKER_02 40:12

Yeah, we were coasting through life.

SPEAKER_00 40:15

Um trying, I would say. Some like whatever reason.

SPEAKER_02 40:19

We were keep we were keeping the peace. I don't I I wouldn't say, I don't believe that we began to work on our our marriage in general. We were just keeping the peaceful.

SPEAKER_00 40:34

I think we were attempting to move on without having dealt with what all actually happened.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

Right.

SPEAKER_00 40:44

But I wouldn't call that keep- I feel like keeping the peace is like when there's tension and you're kind of ignoring the tension. I don't feel like that's what it was. I feel like we were trying to move on, but just not having actually dealt with that at least that's my perception, I would say. I mean you have to change your perception. I just I at least that's what I felt we were doing.

SPEAKER_02 41:14

I think that we just had a focus on trying to do things the right way and coming out of sin. I think. Rebuilding our marriage wasn't a focus at the time.

SPEAKER_00 41:29

I was not gonna do with that, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:32

So, and it's all it also was a very busy time for me. I was in between jobs at some point, some point so that. No, by that time I was already at my was it?

SPEAKER_00 41:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 41:46

At that time, I had already started my job that I'm working at currently. Um, you were going back to school, you like you said, you were doing FedEx, and it was almost like everything we did was catered towards either Skylar or I guess just breaking down those those sinful ways, rather. Is the best way I can kind of describe it.

SPEAKER_00 42:16

And we we're kind of skipping around though, because you we became friends with the Thomas's and Skylar was well over one year old. So you're right, but I it's okay. I'm just we're kind of we're skipping around, but it's it's all gonna still flow. I just wanted to say that because that was basically the part, because I wasn't at FedEx when we became friends with the Thomases. So um basically more work had been done um with us. I would say to to the FedEx thing and me going to get a job, that was a very trying time for us, I would say, because there was a lot of ego, there was a lot of pride. You know, I remember telling you a few times, like basically who I am today, it was it was the enemy. Basically who I am today, it's like I knew that there was value in this version of a woman, you know, of of a woman being home, catering to her family. But in a sense, because of where I was in my earlier 20s and late teens financially and just kind of being able to do what I want to do um financially, I was very prideful and I just was not willing to let that version of myself go. And I think that especially where I am today, I I can honestly say I've never felt so fulfilled. I'm I do I get tired? Absolutely. Um But for one, I would say this is this is this is what's so pivotal. When I started to see an actual change in you, and when I started to see that you were actually attempting to devote your life to Christ and just truly made Christ the center of your life and of our marriage, I feel like that's when I began to be able to break down my own walls and barriers and my respect for you changed. Um I trusted your judgment better. I felt safe and secure. I feel safe and secure still to this day. Um just kind of letting go, being able to fully let go of that version of myself because I no longer needed to be Miss Independent. Essentially.

SPEAKER_02 44:51

And I feel like I feel like there were aspects of of that of those moments where you just kind of you may you may have blocked yourself from seeing.

SPEAKER_00 45:07

Seeing what?

SPEAKER_02 45:09

I guess that that shift in me.

SPEAKER_00 45:12

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 45:13

Seeing it sooner rather. I didn't say, maybe not.

SPEAKER_00 45:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:18

You know.

SPEAKER_00 45:18

I would agree.

SPEAKER_02 45:20

I'm sure we both can remember a phone call that we had with with the Thomases, and it just kind of opened our eyes to a lot of things, and how to actively build our relationship.

SPEAKER_01 45:33

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 45:35

And not just not just settle for.

SPEAKER_00 45:40

What we were settling for.

SPEAKER_02 45:41

Right. The just saying, okay, we're married. I know God's will is for us to be married, so that's that's enough. You know, just to have a mindset that we want to thrive in our marriage rather than just exist. Yeah, that existence.

SPEAKER_00 45:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:57

And, you know, through that time and through a lot of spiritual warfare, because because like like we said, we lived the lifestyle of sin, and we introduced sin into our marriage. We introduced a lot of open doors and ties for the enemy to just wreak havoc on everything.

SPEAKER_00 46:16

Everything. Finances, our child, our marriage, our bodies. You name it.

SPEAKER_02 46:25

Yeah, we had to, we had to go back and we had to tear it all down. And, you know, as the Lord is revealing things, we're continuing to tear down still to this day. I mean, that's just a simple lesson for anybody. Like, you're not, you're not getting off scot-free when you commit sins. Like, it's the devil is always going to return and he's going to do his bidding. Like, he's not going to take it lightly on you. In that moment, you might feel like, you know, I got it.

SPEAKER_00 46:57

You're living it up. I got everything I want.

SPEAKER_02 47:00

Or, you know, I'm I'm able to do this and nothing happens to me. But no, like when it comes time to uh when you get to that point in your life where you really want to do the work of the Lord, he's coming to destroy any momentum you try to gain and use those uh legal rights that you've given them to do so. So yeah, like that's where, I mean, it's kind of where we are today. You know.

SPEAKER_00 47:27

Tearing down those things.

SPEAKER_02 47:28

Yeah, about four years later now, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 47:31

Um last year on our anniversary, we were like, man, we'd have made it six years. We were like six years, yeah, three, three bad ones. We had three good ones.

SPEAKER_02 47:42

Three bad ones and three good ones.

SPEAKER_00 47:43

And now we're able to say four good ones.

SPEAKER_02 47:47

Four uh more good than bad.

SPEAKER_00 47:49

More good than bad.

SPEAKER_02 47:50

Officially.

SPEAKER_00 47:50

Officially, officially, officially.

SPEAKER_02 47:52

Two children later. Two more children later.

SPEAKER_00 47:56

Yeah, there you go.

SPEAKER_02 47:57

Um three babies, you know, and and that's a blessing in his in itself, because you talked about the struggle with fertility. That's a major thing we had to tear down.

SPEAKER_00 48:09

Um all of the affliction that was going on in my body.

SPEAKER_02 48:12

Mm-hmm. And living and thriving in our marriage, um, thriving in our communication. Right, our pursuit of Christ. And honestly, I mean, life can't couldn't really be better.

SPEAKER_00 48:30

Yeah. I mean, it somehow keeps keeps getting better. We got a lot of we got a lot of life to live. And the more we step into what God has called us to do, I know that He's gonna continue to bless us and push us forward. Um I asked, did I ask the last question?

SPEAKER_02 48:50

Maybe.

SPEAKER_00 48:51

Let me see how many questions I asked you. Okay, I've only asked one question, so I'm gonna go ahead and ask my second question. Let's see which one I'm gonna ask next. We already kind of discussed this, but I'm gonna just still ask it to see if there's anything you want to add to. But my next question would be how would you say that we've made it seven years into our marriage after such a demonic start? How are we still together and thriving? Not just still together, but thriving today.

SPEAKER_02 49:17

Uh so the Lord, the Lord, I love the Lord in his simplicity. He just kind of just brought this old song to my heart. I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back. And, you know, it just kind of a point of emphasis I want to place on that line is the word decided. Like it all starts with my decision to live a righteous lifestyle. And with that, you naturally see benefits in everything that that happens around you. My marriage, for example, the moment I decided to live righteously, the moment I decided to say no to sin, even though my flesh wanted it, the moment I decided to not act selfishly, you know, you start seeing some of the good fruit that come from it. Yeah, we just been we just been fighting the enemy.

SPEAKER_00 50:14

It's not you and I against each other, but you and I against the enemy. And you know, you said something so important, you know, just not acting selfishly. And that is like the epitome of which how you should be in a marriage, you know. And it's the epitome of if you're following Christ. You say that Christ is truly at the center of your marriage or any relationship really and how you treat people, you can't act selfishly. Christ was not selfish, so that was that was spot on there.

SPEAKER_02 50:50

We didn't talk our way through my questions. I know.

SPEAKER_00 50:53

Just still ask, just still ask.

SPEAKER_02 50:55

Um, so uh another question I had for you was um after going through a hard time in the marriage, what steps should a couple take to rebuild?

SPEAKER_00 51:05

I mean, no, that's a no, that's a great question. Um, and I don't feel like we really fully touched on it, so no, that's good. For one, making the decision to truly forgive. Now, as much as I thought I forgave you, and even myself, you know, I don't think I truly did for a while, like for some years. I was still very much hurt, very much confused, like just not even able to still process, you know, how we had just gotten married, and that was the decision you went to make and you know, do and whatnot. And you know, just I think we were years in before we even realized what I was going through was depression, like, so we it was like all of that happened and we just there was no real reconciliation in any form, really. It was just, hey, I know I'm not released from this marriage, so the Lord has not released us from this marriage, so we just gonna we're gonna coast, but we haven't really dealt with anything. So I would say the first thing would be to truly forgive, is especially because of course we have free will, but especially if the Lord has not released you to leave your marriage, gotta forgive. And you okay, no, the first thing is because you you gotta get your strength from the Lord. So truly submit all of your feelings, your emotions, lean on the Lord, lean on the Lord because you you can't just say, I mean, I tried it. You can't just say, Oh, I forgive you, and then you years in, you ain't you mean actually forgive. So I would say start there. I would say um, you know, truly figure out where things went wrong. Like, of course, we know that it's the enemy, but in what way? Like, what it what were you dealing with? And all and ultimately, I don't even know why I I also didn't say this first, but you know, the fear of the Lord has to be present for both the husband and the wife because and when you truly fear the Lord, it's gonna stop you every single time before you go and make such a detrimental decision, really any sin, but especially one of such heavy consequence, you know, like breaking a covenant, that's that's no joke. That's no joke at all. Even being the one to help break a covenant, you know, it's no joke.

SPEAKER_02 53:45

Ask the Israelites.

SPEAKER_00 53:48

You get what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 53:49

Ask you and I.

SPEAKER_00 53:52

And and I'm gonna leave it there. I'm gonna leave it there.

SPEAKER_02 53:55

Just to kind of caveat off of what you said, I do believe it's absolutely pivotal, especially in situations where trust is broken to be fully transparent with each other. And and that's that extends beyond the person who broke trust. That extends to the person who felt like they have been bombarded in a sense. Um just being transparent about how they feel, not sheltering themselves for the person who broke trust, being transparent about your whereabouts or you know, kind of going that extra mile to make sure that your partner feels secure. Yeah, because you reach a point where to where it's so much more than just being honest. Like your spouse shouldn't have to ask you certain things, you should just come forward and and say them. Through that process, you can begin to rebuild that trust. Because I mean, trust is so important in your relationship. That's what grants grace in moments where where you may slip up in a sense of you broken trust, but in a sense where you may have done an act out of innocence and your spouse may not have liked it, but they can understand or allow themselves to see your heart because you've been so transparent with them.

SPEAKER_00 55:17

That's a muscle you gotta build. Um, I think let's see. Let's see the next question. What is one thing that was a non-negotiable for you if I did not change it? So whether if it was my way of thinking, a certain action, just anything, like something that I from the moment we started dating till now, it was like a non-negotiable, like you have got to stop this one thing.

SPEAKER_02 55:45

I got it. Uh I would definitely say that non-negotiable thing for me is um I guess that desire to just overfill the space or to just have or you have to have a bunch of stuff. Like, and man, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, my blood pressure rise when I see all of Amazon boxes at the door.

SPEAKER_00 56:16

But it'd never be anything crazy though. Today. No, now. As a yeah, not now. I mean, I'm saying, it's not like what it was before.

SPEAKER_02 56:25

No, it definitely isn't. But yeah, that non that non-negotiable thing is just just being packed in because we have so much stuff and we're unwilling to let it go.

SPEAKER_00 56:37

That's something too. We'll talk about that. Either I'll talk about it or we'll talk about it. But yeah, thank God for deliverance and healing.

SPEAKER_02 56:46

Amen. That's my turn. I don't know which one of these I want to ask.

SPEAKER_00 56:52

Let's see. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 56:54

So some of these questions don't necessarily fit into our conversation, really. Okay, I got one. What advice would you give to a marriage that's that is struggling with intimacy?

SPEAKER_00 57:13

This is gonna sound so cliche, but if I'm being completely honest, prayer and prayer together. That's the first step. Because when we're talking about, you said intimacy, that's the word you use, right? Intimacy doesn't just start in the bedroom. It starts with prayer with you and your spouse. The second thing I would say, if I'm talking to the woman, I would tell her to make herself available to be loved on and to be loved. I know for me, um, you know, because of life and you know, even just sometimes just still breaking down those barriers. I'm a little hard, you know. Like, I don't I used to be, which you you can speak to this, I used to be very, very affectionate, very lovey-dovey, very cuddly, very soft with you. Um, and you know, over time that kind of, you know, with everything that we've gone through, I I became because I was I was hard outside of you, but I became hard with you. And um, I would say, you know, just continue to to continue to break down those barriers, those walls, you know, start with prayer, make yourself available. If I was talking to the man, I would say, don't just jump into the physical. Because the way that women's minds work, I know it's not just mine, I know it's multiple women. Not maybe not all women, but the way that I believe women are wired, or most women are wired, intimacy starts in the mind. You know, we like to know that, okay, no, you love me, you care about me. Like, you're not just after me physically, but you you genuinely want to be tender with me, you want to care for me. That alone kind of relaxes the woman and makes those physical intimacy moments way easier.

SPEAKER_02 59:27

So, yeah, that would be Yeah, you hear that man romance your woman.

SPEAKER_00 59:31

Yeah, yeah, you have to.

SPEAKER_02 59:33

It's okay.

SPEAKER_00 59:34

Yeah, you have to.

SPEAKER_02 59:35

Y'all are with them for the rest of your life, so why not make it the best rest of your life that it could possibly be?

SPEAKER_00 59:42

Yeah, yeah. Did you wanna add to those steps? Do you feel like those are good?

SPEAKER_02 59:47

I feel like those are good steps.

SPEAKER_00 59:49

Yeah, I think start there. Start there. Allow the Lord to also lead both of you guys and just truly seek after what he has for y'all, and y'all be y'all'll be fine.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:01

Um, yeah, I think that it's also important to note that the enemy, you know, he wants to shut that door in your marriage life. So just being knowledgeable of these things in the sense of not allowing them to happen to you, or not happen, but recognizing when you are feeling these emotions, or recognizing when you are not romancing your spouse, or recognizing when you haven't stimulated your spouse mentally, or whatever the case may be, decide to act against that because the enemy wants to keep y'all separate.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:42

Yep. And to the spouse that those things are happening to, be transparent. Speak about what you're feeling in those moments. Tell your spouse, hey, you know, I've been feeling a little neglected in this area. No, don't don't just harbor it. And I'm I'm I'm like, I'm I'm still learning. I'm not even gonna say learning, I am learning to apply because it's like you have the information, but it's sometimes it's hard to work past those things. So that's why we say we're still to this day, we're still tearing down these things that were built up for so long. But hey, I'd rather be doing this than anything that the enemy had planned for us. So I'm definitely grateful. What are three significant things that I do to help you thrive in your role as a husband and as a father?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:31

So I'll start here. There's a peace of mind I get when I know that my home is taken care of, that my children is taken care of. Not that it's it's my wife's responsibility to take care of my children, but maybe not alone, but it is my responsibility. Your responsibility is support.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:57

Okay. Go ahead. I'm gonna just let you go ahead. Elaborate a little bit. Because I'm I'm trying to make sure I'm understanding what you're saying.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:06

So everything falls under the scope of now you're speaking to the fact that you're the head of the home. Correct.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:15

Okay, gotcha. I gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:17

So before I was rudely interrupted, um get clear with you. Yeah, first thing is is that peace of mind, knowing that home is taken care of, I can go to work. If I need to work a little longer one day, I know that she's gonna be, she may not like it. She may not want me to stay longer, but I know she'll be able to hold down the fort. And secondly, I would say the accountability, like I'm pretty sure anybody that knows you knows that you don't necessarily struggle with at least holding me accountable. You might you might struggle holding somebody else accountable, but I don't know. I feel like with me, you don't necessarily pull punches, which is you might a little, but a little, depending on what it is. Yeah, so that accountability, first of all, in relationships, we all are to hold each other accountable. So when she holds me accountable, that just sharpens my iron. It puts me in a position to just not operate in a in a state of passiveness and forgetfulness. So I think that's huge. And three, you keep me connected. Like I've said many times on this podcast, isolation is a big struggle for me. And this kind of ties into that accountability, but she doesn't allow me to fall into that space. She keeps me connected in my marriage, you know, with my children, you know, with my community, my friend groups, the ones that pray for me daily. And I think those all three of those things really, really push me forward.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:08

Okay. Beautiful. Very beautiful answer.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:13

Um, let's see, what do we have here? If you had to pick one thing to improve in our relationship, what would it be?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:23

Today? We we've already been working on this actively, but just our intimacy with the Lord together. Because, you know, individually, of course, we have our own relationships with the Lord, but just us coming together more to Him together. You know, like I said, that is literally something that we're working on right now. So that'll be it. Great question. When do you feel the most loved by me?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:00

I'll say I I feel the most loved by you when in those moments where you know you can kind of let down your guard and be affectionate towards me. Letting down that mental blocker there where I don't desire to have that affection.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:19

Like just when I'm actively working against those strongholds, essentially because that's what they are. Yeah. Gotcha. It's like I'm actually putting in effort to let let go.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:34

I mean, and I it's not just because you're putting in effort. I I enjoy the affection.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:40

Gotcha. I wanna pause for a brief moment and just kind of explain something I kind of feel like we touched on, but I just feel like it's just necessary to say this is when when people decide to step out on their partner, there is long term. Repercussions for that for both parties. And people fail to realize why, you know, you can look at your spouse and you're like, man, like my wife, she used to do all of these things for me. She used to cook for me. She used to surprise me with things. She used to put a lot of effort in. You know, she did all of these things. What changed? Like, where where did she go wrong, right? But you're not acknowledging, like, wait, no, I've disrespected her. I have done her wrong. I have broken her. You know? And that is where the shift came from. So I think, you know, of course I use the husband being the one to do something wrong, but you know, to do something to hurt the wife, but it can even be vice versa. It's only so much a person can take before they're just kind of stripped from who they are naturally. And so I'm saying that to say, I just wanted to hone in on the importance of just really thinking before you do things. Because there is long-term repercussions. Because mind you, we're seven years in and y'all just heard his answer. Um, this is, you know, it's getting better. It's getting better. Um, and continues to get better. We're actively working through these things, but it's no joke. It's no joke. So I just wanted to just speaking to anybody that's about to get married, that's already married, and you're contemplating doing something, but you know you have no desire to leave your marriage. First of all, you need to you need to fear the Lord because that's gonna stop you. But second of all, the repercussions, this is not worth it. And you just asked me the last question, right? So that can kind of segue into the next question that I have. Um how would you describe the severity of breaking a covenant?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:16

So a holy covenant like marriage, when you break that holy covenant, it's a separation, first of all, from from God. And it's a separation from your spouse. And with that separation, there comes a disconnect. For whatever reason, y'all just can't seem to get on the same page. For whatever reason, little things are big things. Ant hills or mountains. I'm not gonna say for whatever reason, as if this is just happenstance. But these things just begin to just steamroll your relationship. And like my wife said, seven years in, you know, four years of living a God-centered marriage, we are still battling with things that we wouldn't even know that we were battling with until they until they come up.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:17

Where we are spiritually in regards to our marriage now is taking the offensive, preparing ourselves before that next strike hits. You know, make sure we're fasted, we're prayed up, making sure we're deep in our scripture so that when these things arise, we are equipped to fight them and that they don't just come upon us.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:41

So it's it's a constant, constant battle of shutting doors, cutting ties, breaking down strongholds and barriers in the life that you put in place because of that broken covenant.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:56

Yeah. Yeah. Great answer. Great answer. Um, I do think that this is a great point to stop. Thought we were gonna be able to finish this in two episodes, y'all. We asked the Lord to have his way, and I believe that he is, so we can't rush the Holy Spirit. So um, with that, I do think this is a good place to pause and you know, come back for the third part of Beauty from Broken Vows. And of course, before we end this episode, I want to offer you guys um the opportunity to say this prayer of repentance and salvation. I'm gonna go ahead and do that. If you guys are watching this on YouTube, I'm gonna put the prayer on the screen. And if not, if you are listening to this on any other streaming platform, um, I'm gonna take some pauses so that you guys can repeat after me. Okay, so dear Heavenly Father, I am a sinner in desperate need of a savior. I believe what your word says in John 3.16. And Lord, I thank you for loving me this much. I repent right now for my sins and for breaking your laws. I genuinely ask for your forgiveness. I believe that Jesus Christ is your Son who has died on the cross for my sins. I believe that he rose on the third day for my victory. I now declare and receive Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. May the blood of Jesus speak on my behalf from this day forward. Thank you for seeking after me and accepting me into your kingdom. Amen. So, yes, guys, this concludes One of Virtue Season 1, Episode 8, Beauty from Broken Vows Part 2. So, y'all, we're gonna see y'all next week for the final part of Beauty from Broken Vows. We will see y'all in the next one. Bye, guys.