Struggling With Long Term Depression - Angelina

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome to the Amjits podcast, the How I Survived series. In these mental health episodes, I'm creating a space for real conversations about the things we often keep to ourselves, our struggles, our healing, and the stories that shape who we are. Hello, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today on another mental health discussion. Before we begin, can you give yourself a little introduction?

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Hi, I'm Angelina Kvalomako, and I am 46 years old and I live in Idaho. I have struggled with depression since I was 13 or 12, something like that.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

Wow, that's really young to have depression. Um, how are you doing right now though? Are you feeling any better? Do you still have depression?

SPEAKER_00 0:59

Yeah, I still have depression. Um I am feeling today I'm okay, I guess, but I always feel kind of blue because one of my well, just a lot of stuff in life. One of my friends moved clear across the country and it's just been really hard.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

Everyone's story is different. I'm just wondering, is your depression situational? Meaning that it depends on on what happens to you?

SPEAKER_00 1:25

I think some of it is because now I'm alone. Um, I my kids don't live with me now, but I think a lot of it too, I don't even know. It's just the the stuff I'm going through because I haven't really been really happy, happy for a long, long time. Um I have moments where I am happy and then it just drops.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Yeah, I think when it comes to mental health, it's always up and down, it's never the same throughout. Um, I'm just curious, how would you define your happiness? Like, are you able to pinpoint what's lacking in your life in order to work on being content?

SPEAKER_00 2:09

Um I don't know. Uh what I feel like is lacking is there's been a lot of things that have happened over the last almost three years um that have contributed to my unhappiness. Um maybe in time those will fix, but I don't know because with some stuff that happened with money and my other son won't talking to me and all that stuff. Um so that's made me very sad. And like I said, a friend of mine moved far away. Um, but other than that, I don't know. Um perhaps I I really don't know. I guess maybe time will tell. Hopefully it does. I really hope it does.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Thanks for sharing. I can tell you've been through a lot. Um, I'm sorry you have to go through all that. I definitely do believe that time will tell. Some people say that things happen for a reason, and I do believe that. Now, would you say that your depression has limited you at all?

SPEAKER_00 3:15

Yeah, I would. Um there's a lot of times when I just want to sleep all the time because, well, to be totally honest, I don't feel any reason to get up. Um it's really hard. Uh I what happened was my son's room caught on fire in 2023, and um I'm totally blind, and I happen to be the one to discover the fire and close his door, which apparently saved the house. Then in 2024, um this girl that I was friends with took like almost six thousand dollars of my insurance money, um, causing me to have to sell my house. Um and now I live in an apartment and it's just been really rough um missing my house and wishing that I could get another house. And my realtor told me that I probably couldn't because of what happened. Um the the case of her doing that went to court and stuff, and we've settled that she has to pay me everything back now. But um it's just been yeah, I think my situation, I mean, I think my depression does affect my my life because um, like I said, there's a lot of days when I don't want to get out, and there's also times when I just I just feel no point to life anymore. I mean I'm not suicidal, but I just don't feel like there's any reason to live a lot of the time.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

Yeah, that's a lot. You know, it's easier said than done. Um sometimes waking up is already half the bottle one. If there's one advice you would give to listeners who might be going through something similar, uh, what would it be?

SPEAKER_00 5:02

I guess my advice would be to when you're having those hard times, uh lean on the people that love you, that care about you. Um, even if it's not your family, because mine really isn't. Um get support in whatever way you need, whether it's calling 988 for for mental health support, if you're in Idaho in the United States, or um, you know, just having people around you that care about you and love you. Um if you need to talk to someone, maybe get into therapy or something, um, and do things that you love, like if running or walking outdoors makes you happy, do that. Um if you're able to. Um I would say that I won't say it gets better because I I'm in the middle of it right now, but eventually it has to stop because it can't go on forever. So that's what I would say is surround yourself with the people that love you and make you happy. And thank you for interviewing me. It was a true honor.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

I too am a big believer in doing things that you love and surrounding yourself with people who actually care. Um that is really, really helpful. Thank you, Angelina, for joining me today for this discussion. I wish you all the best and keep things strong. Take care.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

Thank you for having me. It was my honor, and I hope everybody that hears this is encouraged and that um you have a great day, and thanks again. Bye.