Discovering and Overcoming Unconscious Patterns - Brigitte

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Amjits podcast, the How I Survived series. In these mental health episodes, I'm creating a space for real conversations about the things we often keep to ourselves, our struggles, our healing, and the stories that shape who we are. Hello, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today on another mental health discussion. Um, before we begin, can you give yourself a little introduction?

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Hi, Daniela. It's Bridget St. Jean. Thank you so much for inviting me on your podcast and for sharing my story and uh sharing this beautiful message with you and your audience. Thank you so much for that. I really appreciate uh the time with you today. So you asked me to introduce myself. So my name is Bridget St. Jean, and I am a life transformation coach. I am a speaker and a published author as well. And uh, you know, I'm deeply passionate about transformation. This is why I call myself not only a life coach, but a really a life transformation coach. Because that's my passion, transformation, and especially the energetic shifts that we're all experiencing right now, collectively, individually on our planet, and how that impacts us on a very personal level and collectively as well. But the coaching is on a personal level. Um yeah, so today, you know, I what I do with my coaching, I support women through life transitions. Uh, I help women reconnect with themselves and create a life that feels more aligned and fulfilling and um that holds more meaning. So I really help women come from living on autopilot mode to living a life aligned with their sole purpose and um creating a life that feels more fulfilling and holds more meaning when you're happy. And so that's what I do with the coaching. And, you know, I know that we'll talk about this a little bit more further on in the conversation, but I wanted to say that, you know, the work that I do, the coaching that I do is um rooted in my own uh lived experience. You know, I've moved through several periods of depression early in my life, uh, burnout, and uh, you know, I've spent decades of healing, um working on my own healing, uh my family wounds and general generational patterns, I call them. And so, but ultimately, right, what stayed with me with through all throughout all of this journey, my the life that I've lived, and that's central to my work actually, is that it's understanding how energy shapes our inner and outer experience. And when I say energy, it's everything because you know our thoughts are energy, anyways. So this is who I am. I am from Canada, and I've been doing this for a few years now, going on my fourth year, and before that I was in corporate. I was a public servant also for 20 years. I have a bachelor's degree in sociology of scientific and technological uh development. I have a master's degree in environmental science. You know, I've I've done a lot of work, um, been here and there in my career, being a consultant in environmental field uh for years, um, and then uh corporate for years. I was a corporate champ trainer actually, um, for many years. And that is something that I really that really helped me as a speaker. And um yeah, so that is me.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

Well, thanks for the lovely introduction. Um, I always love seeing people use their pain for a better cause. So I think what you're doing is really amazing. Um, now it looks like you've worked a lot on yourself in order to help others. Do you sometimes still have depression, or were you able to fully retract from it?

SPEAKER_01 4:38

Oh, I love this question. This is such a good question. Because the big answer is yes, I've recovered from deep depression. And but I must say that I've said the these words before. Um, each time I got out of an episode like that, where I found myself again, reinvented my life, found my happiness, my zone, and continued my life, I said that I will never let myself go back there. But it happened again, right? Oh my goodness. Each time I felt really, really low, I thought about this. I thought about this. Oh man, how did I get back here? How how am I so you know, so low again? How how come I'm here? I have tools, I know how to get out, I know how to create, I know how to, you know what I mean? And so the big answer is yes, that I've healed from that because honestly, I've done so much work now, and also right, I'm 50 years old now. I know it's just a number the age, but I think that it gives it all of this that I've lived through, you know, all of the the things that we live through, they build something else, right? We grow from that. And um I think I have all the tools now. And since it's happen it happened so many times, I think I see it coming now, right? Okay, so that's the big answer, but another answer, well, the the rest of the answer is I don't have really big episodes of depression anymore because now I don't let myself go there. And also I've developed, and this is key, the tools to notice, right? And this is the it's the first, first concept I teach in my coaching. The first concept. It's noticing. And you know, when we're living in the world, it goes fast, fast, fast. You know, if you have kids, maybe you don't, and you know, you have your own things that you're busy with. You go to work, you get up in the morning, go to work, come back, do this, do that, clean your house, and then go out with friends, and then go to the grocery store, all of the things, right? And so you move a lot. We do as human beings still, but less and less. And that's that's something I um am really passionate about, as I said before, like transformation. We're transforming out of autopilot mode because people can't stand that anymore. So many people, so many people on planet earth cannot live like that anymore. They want to find happiness. And so to come back to the question, the thing is that there's there are some days, there are some days where I wake up. So let's say I'm in Canada right now, right? I think we're both in Canada, and this year winter is lingering on and on, and it's spring. Spring was yesterday, and and it's like there's still snow and it's cold, and it's there's so much, so many, um, so many clouds that there we we lack sunshine, right? And we want to go out and see the the flowers bloom and the trees with you know, we want the the spring, the new spring energy. But the thing is that sometimes we do have days like this. You get up in the morning, you're like, oh no, not again. And then, and that's not a depression in itself, but it's the mindset and the all the unconscious um programs or you know, patterns that come in to support this idea of, oh no, not again, or something happens in your day or at work or whatever it is can bring you down. And although it it may seem like nothing, my example of I wake up and I'm like, oh no, not a day like this again, it has an impact. You know, all the small things have impacts that are larger and long term, more um long term, maybe not long term, but I mean medium term, let's say. I wake up and I have this thought, then all my day is tinted with that, right? And so I do still have moments where, oh my goodness. So let's say I have a lower period in my coaching, right? There's less clients, and then I have to put a lot of work in in finding new clients. Um, and let's say there's a period where I'm not finding these clients, and there's a little bit lower period, right? And I'm like, oh my goodness, and then I start to stress about money or whatever, right? And this happens. This is my own personal experience, but everybody has those moments. We all do. And so those moments can add up, and those moments can really, you know, it's like sometimes we just pinch our tent into that that mindset and that emotion that, you know, I call it the lower vibration emotion, sadness, you know, and and and anger sometimes, and all of these things that put you down, that you feel down about yourself. And and it it can add up. So I do still have moments like that, but I notice them, right? I notice. And I, you know, I seem giddy when I say this because I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. Yes, it's true. I'm grateful to have lived through all of these episodes because of this, because of the teachings and the growth that I lived personally through that. I reinvented myself like four or five times in my life. I grew into another, pardon me, another person. I've worked on genera generational patterns and went through that. And and I remember when I was young, excuse me, I was saying to myself, I will be the pattern stopper. That sounds weird, yes. And because there was so much uh family dysfunction and trauma that I I said to myself, this stops here. I will not repeat those cycles. And yeah, it was easy to say when you're young, but when you're, you know, an adult dealing with life and dealing with everything, it was hard for sometimes. But now in my life, let me tell you, I have the tools that make this way easier. Way easier. I'm so grateful for that.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

I'm really glad you're now able to recognize those patterns and start breaking some cycles, right? I also appreciate your point about how the small things can impact how we feel. Um, now, do you think some people are naturally more sensitive than others? Like in your experience, do individuals tend to uh interpret or internalize negative events differently?

SPEAKER_01 12:24

Oh, I definitely think, Daniela, that um everybody, everybody internalizes and interprets information differently. And when you say some people are more sensitive than others, I totally, yes, I I I know this as a fact. Um, and I think that I was myself one person like that way before uh even younger, and I didn't I didn't know it. Um and becoming aware of that made me more even more powerful in the sense and when I say powerful, it it means I gained the power over um, you know, over the feelings and the thoughts and everything that was um for me, it I I mean I can't speak for ever everybody, but only from my own experience. And for me, it's like a pull down. That's why I I always use those that language because it pulls you down. Um, and when I say that, you know, it seems that I say that it's outside of me, something outside of me is pulling me down. But at the same time, you know, there is science. There's so much science now uh behind this, uh, how how this works. Why why do we internalize things um differently? And there's science, neuroscience, and there's also energy, um, you know, the science of of energy and and neuroscience and physics and and um to that that speaks to this because we know that um our unconscious I say unconscious programming, but but I should say more patterns, unconscious patterns, right? If I internalized a thought earlier on that I was in the way, uh what I had to say wasn't important, uh I was ridiculed, whatever, whatever it is, and and we all have patterns like that. And some people um it is um I don't know if it's amplified the right word, but but I I understand what you're what you're saying um about some people that have that are more sensitive that that that that um interpret the information differently. Well, maybe not differently or more intensely, yeah, differently. Um and you know, it it I think it's all linked to um and it's easy to say, it's it is easy to say this or say that, but the lived experience is is not just words and and and concepts and and stuff like that. It's way beyond. And um, and you know what I'm on one of my passions, my my true passion actually, it's really understanding energy and how it works, right? And so that's beyond the cognitive. But before this, this in my old life, I said, I say sometimes before, you know, corporate, I'm a scholar, all of that. I was uh really intellectual. And so sometimes I do go there uh using the science to uh explain stuff and explain how we interpret information. We know that our unconscious thoughts and patterns, they run the show. They run the show, and so if I young and internalized a thought that I'm not enough or I'm not good enough, or and it all comes down to to self-worth, right? But it takes so much time to link that and to understand that it can take a lifetime or even two, you know. It's just it sounds so simple when we just talk about it, but living the experience, it's different. Actually, it's probably not different, but it is because you're living it, it's in the feelings, it's in the um the physical, right? And in the physical, it changes how molecules come together. Okay, that I'm going too are too far in science there, but what I mean to say is that I do think that people interpret information differently, uh especially uh if it links to something in their unconscious mind that is imprinted deeply, uh deeply rooted. And so because our brain works to um like accomplish everything all of those patterns, right? So if I think that I'm not good enough, I don't, I'm not even conscious that I don't, that I think I'm good enough because I'm a confident person, I'm doing this, I'm doing that. But that's the way that I am expressing, protecting myself because I don't think that I'm worthy. So I need to prove, I need to do so much. That was me, that was me, you know. And I think that most that so many women that go through burnout do have this type of pattern in some way, shape, or form. I certainly do believe that uh some people can be more sensitive than others, and I think this is really linked to beliefs that are unconscious, we're not aware of it, we don't know unless we do years of work with people on healing, and you know, um just a caveat here. You know, a lot uh when we deal with healing wounds, we most often talk about therapy. Therapy is about that the past, looking how it shapes, it shaped us and how to change that. But the but coaching comes after therapy, right? Coaching is more on how where we go from here, how do we create something new? This is coaching, right? Going forward. So it's a compliment. And I think that yeah, I think that many different people live things differently. And for some, it can be really, really hard to stay there. But there are some methods and tools and some understandings, and this is really important. There are some understandings in how we function that can really help us to rewire and deconstruct the fact that we it took us, it took, it takes maybe me a longer time to get out of this period with this thought than another person. There is a way to release those kinds of things way faster. But the thing is that everything starts with awareness. You've got to become aware and look and deal and look and ask questions and go deep to become more self-aware. And it's really from there that you can deconstruct and learn how you know. I mean, oh my goodness, and learn how to um step out of a pattern faster than you did before. There are some ways to do that. It all starts with noticing and self-awareness, really. Um I wanted maybe to add something um about this. You know, I remember uh one of my clients that um she had this belief, uh, some beliefs um around self-worth linked to material possessions, right? And we worked on releasing these patterns. Um at the same time, she um, you know, um she she took a three-month program. So that's um that's great, but it's just the beginning. And later on, you know, um, I've seen her and uh we talked and I see that the patterns have are still running, the unconscious patterns are still running the show. You know, it takes a while to change this, and and support is is the key. Having great friends and maybe family um to talk to and to help you not pitch your tent in the negative thoughts or nevic negative patterns or you know, staying in that loop. And and it's it's like that for all of us, not not only this client that I was talking about, but all of us. It takes a while to deconstruct patterns that are imprinted in our unconscious mind. Very deeply. And um definitely different people deal differently. And you know, um we have to respect that. We have to be patient and be loving. I think this really helps um be in support and listening. And also always as a coach, anyways, always go back to moving forward, the movement. Like pitching the tenth is the you know, it's not that's not what you want to do. You really want to move forward all the time, even if it repeats and repeats and it's hard to get out of it, and it's really emotionally gut-wrenching, draining. If you can find one friend that can help you remind yourself to always move forward and be patient, giving you the time to take a step, even small, because I I'm really a fan of small steps. The small things matter the most. We don't think that in our society it's all big and bold and do this and do that, go bigger, go home. But it's most of the time it's you go big and then you go home. In real emotional life, lived experience, the best thing you can do is take a small step because the smallest things matter the most.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

I think what you said about surrounding yourself with love and people who care, I think it makes a big difference. So I definitely do agree with you on that. Now, for those listening into today's episode, um, what would you say is the first step that someone needs to take in order to break unconscious patterns?

SPEAKER_01 23:56

All right, so answering this question, it really depends where you are at, right? Because all your audience or everybody is a different at a different place, right? So there's not really one big answer, but I want to, there's like a twofold here. So my first answer is more technical, right? Uh as a coach and as a support system for people dealing with issues, um, not issues, but um transitions and and all of this um heaviness. And and I'm and you know, I'm using those words because I know what that that means anyway for me. And I'm sure that you know, for so many of my clients as well, we all have this heaviness that we're we don't want anymore, right? Um, okay, so what can people start doing right now? So my first answer is a more technical thing. So, and it has like it's one step that has like three commitments, let's say like that. So, one step, the first, first thing is that you want to decide that you want to change something. This is the first, first thing. And I'm not saying tell everybody about it, make that you know, voicing your decision is really important, but it's for you, not for other people, it's for your brain. Because um, making a decision, I am making the decision that I want to change something. Sometimes we know what we want to change, or something, sometimes we know we we think we know that it's this, but out as you go in deeper, you find out it's something else. And that's that's okay, that's really good work. Um and sometimes we absolutely don't know. And most of the time we don't know, right? We don't know, but we want something to change, but we don't know what it is. But it doesn't really matter. The first thing is to signal your brain, your nervous system, that you want something to change. So it's it's so the deciding that I want something to change is affirming that you are making this decision. And one way of doing this is talking to yourself out loud, right? Because it will signal right away your nervous system. Oh, wait, your brain's gonna say, wait, wait a second. Okay, this is not the normal, the usual pathway of how we're supposed to function. There's stop, something's um, somebody's saying, you know, we we want something different. Okay, well, let's just stop for a second and listen, what what we're supposed to do. The brain is a is a tool. It's supposed to, it's it listens to you. That's that's the thing that we're not aware of because we've never been taught this. Okay, so affirming that you're making a decision. And so one way that um I encourage um my clients to do that is talking to yourself out loud and saying, I'm making this decision, but also to um to interrupt the pattern, like for your brain to start working with you on making the on making whatever change that will be coming, preparing the terrain is asking yourself questions because the brain's function is mainly to answer questions, right? So if you answer questions, if you ask yourself questions like, why am I so good at changing things? Why am I so good at changing things? Okay, I'm only thinking about this one uh right now, but you know, asking yourself questions like this, and then the brain will naturally its function is to find answers. So they're going to your brain is going to look for answers to this question. So you can repeat this question 10 times a day, even if you don't believe in it. Okay, it the belief right now is not important. So this is the first, first thing, like deciding you want to change something, whether you do know what it is or not, or whether it changes along the way. All right, so that's the first thing. So that's I'm deciding this, I'm voicing it out loud for myself, not for other people. It's not for them, it's for me, for us, it's for you. Asking questions out loud to your brain, so your brain starts to look for answers to bring to you. So that signals your nervous system that there will be a change, you're preparing to change, and your brain also starts working with you on change. And so then naturally comes the next, the next step, which is setting yourself up to start noticing how you work, how you function, right? So I call this opening the path to self-awareness. Sometimes we do know things, sometimes sometimes, and I think this was the case for me and for so many of us that we think we know how we work because we our brain tricks us in understanding, oh, I've changed this, but actually it's just the same version, but tweaked. So then I'm unaware that I'm doing sort of the same thing or almost the same thing. And that our brain is so good at. And that's why asking questions to your brain, for it to find the answers, is key in changing anything. Um, so opening the path to self-awareness is really starting to notice how you function. What are your recurring feelings? What are your triggers? What are the reactions that are triggered, right? The recurring thoughts, recurring feelings that triggers or reactions. So all of this can be done via journaling. And you know, sometimes people don't want to journal in writing. That's okay. You know, one program I had earlier on is I um encouraged people to video journal because it's easier. And and it was a really uh it's a program about releasing a lot of emotional heaviness and a lot of emotions, stuck emotions, anger, sadness, whatever the emotions that were blocking. Okay, that in that program, I encourage people to video journal. So you open your like you you can have like a zoom or your phone or whatever, and you don't you don't do this with anybody else but yourself because you don't want to dump something on anybody else because then they want to dump on you, and nobody needs dumping. What we're doing is actually helping one another out, so it's not dumping, it is listening or just talking, putting it out of yourself, out of your body. So video journaling is also something you can do, just record yourself. You don't even need to listen to it. It's because you're talking, and so you're expressing, they're getting out of your body. And that really is a good way to start noticing how you work. And I did that for for you know, um healing a lot of my uh family uh trauma and dysfunction. I was so angry, so angry, and I journaled for months and months and months and months and months and months and months. And I was like pretending I was talking to one person, the other, or all of them, and and you know, I was saying everything that I needed to say, but I I didn't go to the person because I didn't want to um, you know, you don't want to, like I said, dump on other people because that is just going to fuel fire. And what you want to do is heal yourself. It's not about other people, it's about you. You matter, you deserve happiness, you deserve to love yourself and go back to your to this love of yourself and self-worth and build that for yourself, not to prove anything to anybody else. That is so important. So those are like the actually I said, oh, the third step for them, like the one deciding for what that you want to change, uh, starting um, you know, opening the path to self-awareness, starting noticing how you function. And the third thing would be to get support. And that's not always easy. Obviously, I'm a coach. Um, there are therapists, there are coaches, people that can help you along the way. But not only that, because not everybody has the the money and and and is is at a place where they want to share all of what they're feeling. But there are things that you can do to get support. Like I said, if you find only one person, one friend that can listen and non not judge, right? Just listen and have compassionate and encourage you and tell you, man, you deserve to live a beautiful life. You deserve to love yourself. And you know, if you can find only one person, it can be a social worker, it could be a friend, it could be a family member, not necessarily a family member, just one person in the world. That is enough. That is more than enough because a lot of times uh we deal with all of this on our own, and getting support is one of the key factors in people actually having a transformation, getting on the other side of the change. Um another thing, depending where you're where you're at in your own uh path, and so this was like the the second fold of the this answer is that um, and and not everybody is at that space too. So I'm I'm aware of that. But I would encourage, if you are ready for this, that you can start talking about what you would love instead of talking about your problems or your um hurt, pain. I know this sounds a little bit weird, but you know, sometimes if you if you're still really in the pain, then you need to take the pain out of your body, out of your, you know, make so so this is not a step for you if you're in that space. But if you are a little bit farther along the way, because when we start talking about what we would love, we are also signaling the brain and the nervous system that we are ready for the next step, right? So I I love this, I'd love this, and then you imagine in all of your biology um follows this, this energy, right? Of creating something new and happy. And so sometimes you can't, you're not at that space. Sometimes that's not it. Maybe in some places in your life, you can talk about what you would love, and some places you're not there yet, you know, and and it's everybody has their own um their own way or their own path, their own words, and their own timing. But one thing that is for everybody is that everybody, every human being, every living being deserves love no matter what, no matter what deserves this self worth, feeling and capacity. Everyone deserves this. And so yeah, I think that when you start talking positive about yourself, not just positive, but you know what I would love? I would love this. I would love this, I would love this, I would love my life to be this. I would love to um have uh, you know, a few friends that are really good, good friends, long-term friends. I would love to um live in a great environment. I would love to have a pet. I would love to, because that signals the brain and the nervous system, nervous system to break old patterns. It just signals, oh, we're not going there anymore, we're going there. Oh, we're not going there anymore, we're going there. So repeat, repetition, repetition, repetition, and that really creates and your brain starts working with you and not against you. And that signals also your unconscious mind where everything is stored and running while you're not even aware of it. So that also gets imprinted. If you repeat it, I would love this, I would love this, I would love this. You start imagining it, and that really helps to shift the energy. That also changes your biology. So all of this seems really easy when we talk about it, but we know that some days, well, some days it's easier. Yes, that's some days and some some moments. And so in one day, you can have different moments. It can be really intense, and later on it could be really soft. So that's okay. That's okay. One moment at a time. What's important is to go back to your heart and and and really tell yourself that you deserve to shift back to happiness, you deserve to shift back to love. And you deserve love no matter what. No matter what anybody says about it, it doesn't matter what people say. It's their own baggage, their own. We can't go into other people's brains and and decide what they think about us. That's a waste of our time. Where we can really make a difference for us in our lives is what we think about ourselves. So always switch back to I'm loved, I love myself, I'm learning to love myself, and all of that. And and that is that is the truth.

SPEAKER_00 38:11

Thank you so much for chatting with me today. I was really, really informative. I definitely learned a lot. And I know my listeners will gain a lot from today's episode. Keep doing what you're doing and take care.

SPEAKER_01 38:26

Daniela, um, so thank you so much for having me on your podcast today. I really do appreciate this. Um I really love, like I said, I'm passionate about transformation, and I really love that women can empower themselves. Anyone can empower themselves. Sometimes it takes longer, sometimes it takes more effort, and sometimes it takes less long, and sometimes it takes less effort, depending on the moment. And every moment is different. So sometimes it is hard, but it's not always like that. And so, yeah, I would invite um anybody who is uh willing to look at or or wants to just check out um my website, www.upfrequencycoaching.com. You can register for the newsletter if you want. That's free. And every month you receive a newsletter with tools to shift your energy to go forward in creating the life that you would absolutely love living.