Reacting is a Choice - Nathalie

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to the Amjits podcast, the How I Survived series. In these mental health episodes, I'm creating a space for real conversations about the things we often keep to ourselves, our struggles, our healing, and the stories that shape who we are. Hi, Natalie. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today on another mental health discussion. Um, before we begin, can you give yourself a little introduction?

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Hello, my name is Natalie. I'm 57 years old, and I come from a background of marketing and communications, and I'm a music lover, animal lover, and I love the beach.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Oh, nice. So the goal of this podcast is to share personal mental health stories. Um, what does your struggle look like?

SPEAKER_01 1:01

I've lived with depression my whole life. My first suicidal thoughts were at the age of 11. And I've been off work for the past 15 years because of fibromyalgia, depression, and trouble with personality disorders.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Well, sorry to hear it. Looks like you're still struggling day to day. Um, how have you been getting through each day? Do you have strategies that help?

SPEAKER_01 1:31

The fact that I'm not working helps a lot because work environments just bring me a lot of stress. And stress causes me to lose it. So I'm I stay home, I see friends, I go out for walks, I go to the lake. Uh, I smoke weed. Weed really helps, especially when I'm very stressed out.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

I actually can relate. Um, I think the working environment can be really stressful, or it can cause a mental break. Looks like you're doing things that make you feel better, which is awesome. Um, I'm curious, uh, what what do your friends think or what do you your family think of your struggles? Have they been supporting you at all?

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Well, my close family, like my mom and my brother, they want me to go to work. They don't understand. Um, they're they're always criticizing me about that. So but I do my own thing.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

I get it. Some people don't understand, uh, regardless of if they're family or not. Um, it can be hard to understand mental health, especially if they don't go through it. I only ask because it makes a big difference when someone has a supporting team. Um, what about therapy? Do you go to therapy?

SPEAKER_01 3:02

I've been in therapy and doing self-help for the past 40 years. I feel oversaturated. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being labeled uh with mental disease and and trouble with personality and all that stuff. And I'm just really sick of all the therapy. Yeah, I I find it it has for me, it has become useless.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that therapy doesn't work for you. Sometimes, you know, accepting labels can be really difficult. And sometimes when we talk to someone, regardless of if they're a therapist or not, um, we can feel alone, right? Because they just don't understand. Or at least we think they don't understand. Um, do you have an alternative strategy to help?

SPEAKER_01 3:58

Well, alternative strategy to help. I don't know. I've I've done so much therapy, like I said, and I've I've even become an NLP practitioner, and uh I've done weekend therapies, like very intensive weekends of therapy. And right now the way I'm happiest is just by letting myself be, be who I am, and just being happy with what I have. I guess that's my strategy.

SPEAKER_00 4:37

Yeah, I think being grateful for what you have is actually a really great strategy. And allowing yourself to be who you are without having people trying to change you is something that can be challenging, but it sounds like you are able to do so. Um, has it always been this way for you, or did it take time to grow into that mindset?

SPEAKER_01 5:00

It took a long time to grow into that mindset. Um I used to buy into the whole theory that we have to work to make a living, and we have to do the nine to five and and and be like a little soldier for the government, and I can't do that anymore. My mental health refuses it. I I just can't. And being grateful for what I have, which is little, but I'm happy. I'm happy with what I have, I'm happy with who I am now, and I'm happy that I don't have to get up in the morning and go to a job where I work for someone else. Um, I've done it my whole life. I had the house, uh, picket fence and the little station wagon, the whole bit. And it's just not it's not a reality for me anymore. And I think this whole system is falling apart. So this there's a new reality that's coming to life, I believe.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

Yeah, I think when people work, which is the majority of the population, I think they forget about what's most important, which has nothing to do with material things. It actually has to do with experiences and the people that surround us, right? Um, is this concept something you agree with? And um, I ask this a lot, but do you also think that things happen for a reason?

SPEAKER_01 6:33

That is a concept I agree with. And yes, I also believe that things happen for a reason. I believe everything I've done since I was born has happened for a reason. Everything that's happened to me has happened for a reason, and that's why I am the person I am today, and I'm happy about who I am and who I've become. And you know, even with all the bad experiences, there was a lot of good, and I try I choose to focus on the good.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Focusing on the positive is definitely important, but it can be challenging for many people as well. Um, how do you say strong while keeping your focus on the good? Do you have any tips and tricks?

SPEAKER_01 7:18

Don't take anything personally. Always look at the bright side, find the gift and the challenges, and uh stay focused, stay focused on the good all the time. It's hard, but I also like do this trick where I'm only allowed to vent 10 minutes a day. Vent about the government, about people, about whatever's going wrong, but only 10 minutes a bit a day and it's not bankable. And I've been doing that for like 30 years, and that has really helped.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

Oh wow, that's a really cool trick. Um, so I guess in a way, happiness is a choice. Of course, we can't control things that happen to us, but would you say that we can control how we respond?

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Definitely. We can control how we respond. We'll have a reaction for sure, and then we put ourselves in check and say, okay, let me complain, but I've got 10 minutes, so let me make the best of my 10 minutes because I can't bank it till tomorrow if I don't use it all. And um uh I definitely think it's the trick that has helped me the most.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

Well said. Um, now what would you tell someone who struggles and with reacting negatively every time? Do you have any advice for them?

SPEAKER_01 8:48

I don't know about advice, but all I can say is get yourself in check. Listen to that voice inside your head that's bashing you and bashing everything, and tell it to stop, tell it to calm down, give call, give it a name. I call my my little voice Bob. I say, stop, Bob. That's enough. And think positive. Look at look for the gift, look for the gift in every situation.

SPEAKER_00 9:20

That's a great advice. Um, listen, Natalie. I'll end it here. Thank you so much for joining me today to share your story. Keep doing what you're doing and take care.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

Thank you for having me, Daniela. It was a nice way to do an interview. I liked it.