The Power of Hypnosis - Jamie

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome to the Amjits podcast the How I Survived series. In these mental health episodes, I'm creating a space for real conversations about the things we often keep to ourselves, our struggles, our healing, and the stories that shape who we are. Hello, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today on another mental health discussion. Um, before we begin, can you give yourself a little introduction?

SPEAKER_00 0:33

Hi, Daniela. Thank you for having me here. My name is Jamie Vasilian, the hypnosis for ADHD specialist, and I help people with neurodivergence, people with ADHD, with autism through coaching and hypnotherapy. I am Audi HD myself. I have been diagnosed with ADHD and autism. And what I do in part stems out of, I believe, what was a special interest of mine, you know, trying to figure out how to be human, how to interact with other people, um, how it all works, and developing this fascination psychology and especially hypnosis and um the relationship between hypnosis and daydreaming. And of course, people with ADHD do a lot of daydreaming. And yes, so that's what I do. And I love to help people to overcome their anxiety, to learn emotional regulation and what I call sustainable performance coaching. And I'm looking forward to um the the following questions and sharing more about that.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Well, that's awesome. Thanks for the introduction. Um, so would you say that you turned your own experience into um you know something that helps other people? Like, do you think your own personal journey has led you to what you do now?

SPEAKER_00 1:51

Oh, most definitely, Daniela. Um, so I could give you a short answer to that, which is simply yes, or the longer answer, which is going into um tracing it all the way back to the age of seven. In short, age of seven, I I got into meditation kind of randomly. I didn't know it was meditation, and um, some people might even argue that it it wasn't. I I kind of I suppose I was experiencing what you might refer to as altered states, you know. I was fascinated by by the mind, and um, I just found myself meditating one day, something like that, staring at a sparkly object in the distance and really focusing upon it, and then kind of going into this trance-like state. And um, I guess you'd call it today, I would call that hyper-focus because I could do that for hours. And to some people that might seem unlikely, um, including people with ADHD. We might think, well, how could you focus like that for so long? Well, as we really know, is that we don't have an issue with focusing. We can focus. ADHD is really more about um attentional dysregulation rather than an inability to focus. So I would focus for hours, you know, in this uh meditative-like state. I didn't know it was that, and um, I didn't have any knowledge of that when I was younger. It just kind of happened. And then further down the line, I think age 15, my um my mother bought some some tapes by the famous British hypnotist called Paul McKenna. I was watching him on television as well, had a really interesting show where they would do experiments, and I can remember one comes to mind of someone with their finger in a Bunsen burner, and they literally had to put and they were hypnotized, but they had to take their hand out of the Bunsen burner uh very quickly because they hit such a you know, their finger was in the Bunsen burner for so long and it was at such a high temperature, they didn't feel any pain. And um, but of course, it was still uh potentially dangerous, so they stopped it. Um I was all it was all you know, it was safe, it was controlled. Um, they stopped it in the sense that they were just proving a point, what the mind can do under the right conditions. And so this fascination with hypnosis also developed. Of course, at that point I knew what hypnosis was, and at that point, by then, by age 15, I didn't know what meditation was, or at least I knew the kind of the terms. And um I could share with you, maybe at this point I'll share with you an experience that I had with the uh the tapes that my mum bought from Paul McKenna. So she had these video tapes back then, it was like VHS, and there was one that was for smok to stop smoking, because my mum did smoke at the time, and the other one was for stress and anxiety. And uh, I want to apologize if you can hear a plane or something going over. I think the microphone does pick that up. The planes around here are pretty loud. I am um near an airport. So, anyway, what happened was that she had these tapes, and I sat there and I watched one on the television. And what I remember was going into this really relaxed state, and it reminded me of my meditations because in my meditations I would focus on an object in the distance or maybe like a candle flame. I'd focus on it for like really long periods of time, even without blinking. I thought you weren't meant to blink. And there is actually a meditation practice called trikata where where the aim is not to blink. Um, although I far surpassed what they recommended, which is I think a maximum of eight minutes, is actually not meant to be good for the brain to go over eight minutes. So, as a um, I think it was a a uh a Buddhist meditator scientist woman told me years ago, she said you may have done more damage than good, Jamie. Who knows? But anyway, coming back to the Paul McKenna story, uh, as you can see, my ADHD brain went off on a tangent there. Um, I was watching this video, and I thought it was like the meditation that I did, you're not meant to blink, so I didn't blink, and I'm watching the screen. And there were images on the screen, like nature scenes, there was um a beach-like image, and there was water on the beach, the waves coming in and going out, and very faintly in the water, it had the words relax or go deeper. And what happened was I saw those words literally come out of the screen in 3D, and I was literally gobsmacked, like, wow, how's that possible? And the other thing that happened was that I got to the end of the video, where I thought was the end, and Paul McKenna said you can either stop or you can carry on for another 30 minutes. So turns out I'd already done, I think it was at least 30 minutes, and yet it didn't feel like 30 minutes. It felt like it was a strange hybrid of this has gone extremely quickly. And at the same time, there was a timelessness, like it was an eternity. And it was so anyway, that these phenomena, these are phenomena of hypnosis, but these phenomena are also things that people can experience in everyday life. So um the second one is is obviously to do with time, and all of us have the experience of time seeming to speed up or time seeming to go really slow. Now you can already see how this could be quite handy for people with ADHD. I mean, whether you've been bored and staring at the clock, maybe at school or whatever, or college or work, and you're waiting for you're watching that clock and it really starts to slow down. Um, well, we could use this to our advantage. We could actually speed up our experience of time when it might be desirable. For example, in you know, in situations, some situation that might seem boring or something we want to get through, we could maybe alter our perception of time. Anyway, um that's something that I sometimes happens in our sessions. Um, it's not normally a request of my clients, but it spontaneously has happened before that people have had those kind of experiences. But the other example was the the words come out of the screen in 3D. Now that is, I think technically that's not an hallucination, but a um we call it an illusion. That's right. There's a stimulus, i.e., seeing the words on the screen, but it appearing to come out of the screen is kind of not what was literally happening. So that would be called a an illusion rather than an hallucination. So those things can happen through hypnosis as well. And it had me asking the question well, this is this is interesting, this is awesome, this is this is captivating. Um, but can it do more than this? And so I started to wonder, and I always kind of felt like that since I was quite young. I don't know if it's because of my own struggles with ADHD and autism, even though I didn't know at that point that I that I was ADHD and autistic. But um I always had that kind of question of you know seeing the suffering in the world and wanting to help people. And so when I was watching the Paul McMackna video, I thought, hmm, could this do more? Could this be helpful in some way? And I suppose that was this, you know, the kind of the genesis of my um, you know, getting into this work. Um I'd like to share a little bit more of you about what happened after that, of course. Um, if we could maybe move into 2004 when I was 24 and I had my ADHD diagnosis and and kind of and what happened then as well. Um but I'll I'll leave it there for now.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

Wow, that's really fascinating. Um, would you consider yourself gifted? Or is having illusions part of ADHD?

SPEAKER_00 9:30

I'm wondering what you mean by gifted. As for illusions, um, so let me let me let me clarify here so there's no confusion. So so there's a hallucination, okay. That's when we kind of experience something that there's no stimuli for it. So, for example, if we were to see um, I don't know, like a ball of light in front of us, it's an example. If there is no stimulus for that, then that would be a hallucination. You know, if if there was maybe there was a little bit of light coming through the window, and I wasn't really aware of it, but then I started to kind of perceive that as like a ball of light. Well, that would be considered an illusion because it has a stimulus behind it. So that's the the difference between hallucination and an illusion. And um, yeah, and so that's that, and it's not an ADHD specific thing, it's just something that people experience in or out of hypnosis.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

When I say gifted, I mean can anyone experience this or not? Also, for those who aren't familiar with ADHD or autism, can you elaborate on what that is or what that looks like in a day-to-day?

SPEAKER_00 10:41

Can anyone be hypnotized? Very good question. So, in short, I believe that anyone can, because I don't see hypnosis as this special thing that happens uh, you know, like in a therapeutic situation. I see as an everyday phenomenon, like reading a story, uh becoming really absorbed in the wonderful storyline and forgetting about the seat that you're sitting in and watching a movie and becoming the character, right? We all have these kind of experiences and we all dream as well, even if we don't remember our dreams, but we we experience something um of the nature of hypnosis every day. It could be driving and the time seems to fly by, or maybe I've an experience of time really slowing down, that's a phenomenal hypnosis. And so I I simplify things, I see hypnosis as really just just the mind, and we're using our imagination or we're really focusing on on certain ideas or words. And um, so in that sense, I believe everyone could be hypnotized. There are some people that believe that you know, there are some people that can be hypnotized, and um, I don't want to get into get too complicated here into the weeds of the research and so on, but you will get a camp of of kind of like researchers and so on that believe that maybe some people can be hypnotized. However, hypnotherapists would tend to disagree because they're the people on the ground doing the actual work with people. And I've got to say that it's gotta be at least maybe 50% of the people that come to see me believe they can't be hypnotized. They've even been told by their hypnotherapists that they cannot be hypnotized. And what I've discovered in virtually all cases is that the hypnotherapist assumed that the person would be able to visualize and then told that person, oh, you're one of those people that can be hypnotized. And I say to that client, I say, Well, I'm gonna give you back the gift of hypnosis today, because you don't need to visualize to be hypnotized. That's a myth. Um, you know, some of us uh a quick example, you can imagine close your eyes, imagine going down into your kitchen. Um, you don't have to see it, but you can still kind of think that through, right? Um we can we all have this ability, I believe. For some people, it may be more challenging than others, but I think that it can be trained. Like anything in life, some things that come to us naturally, or we're not as good at it as other people, but we can train and we can learn that. Our brain has an amazing ability to learn things. And then when it comes to ADHD and neurodiversions, well, there's a lot of reason to believe that we may actually be quite adept at hypnosis. I always say to my clients of ADHD, I say, Well, do you daydream? And they nod their heads and smile, of course I do. I do plenty of that. Well, that's one way of thinking about hypnosis because what we're going to do today, we're literally going to daydream. But we're going to daydream in a way that's going to help you it's going to be a focused, resource-based daydream that will help you achieve your goals and intentions. And uh regarding your question on ADHD and autism, so in sure ADHD stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. I don't like those particular words myself, especially the deficit and disorder. We have tons of attention. So, what really ADHD is more of a dysregulated attention. It can be difficult for us to keep ourselves focused or focus on the things that apparently we're meant to focus upon. We have a we have a dysregulated uh attention. That's really what it's about. And um, yeah, so we struggle with things like focusing, getting stuff done, procrastination, uh being on time. We have something called time-blindness, so we struggle with time, like time can just go so fast in our brains. Um, but that's maybe where hypnosis can come in helpful because with one of the hypnotic phenomena is being able to shift our perception of time. Um so also some people with ADHD are hyperactive. Not everyone, but some people are hyperactive, they're you know full of energy and and um you know can be told off in school because they won't sit still on a chair or whatever. Also, we can be impulsive, but that's one of the uh key traits as well with ADHD. We can blur out things and say things we didn't mean to say or or do things we didn't mean to do, um, and and can struggle with with self-control. So there's some of the kind of the main um symptoms and and so that's ADHD, but I do see ADHD as a different kind of brain rather than just a disorder. Can it be a disorder? I think it can be both. It can be we our brain works in a particular kind of way, it's different when we're under a lot of stress, i.e. the wrong environment. For example, schools is where most ADHD gets diagnosed. And we also know that when you put children from, say, a traditional school into a Waldorf or Montessori or a forest school or some different kind of setup, those children can actually thrive. But if you put the other children into the school where the ADHD kids thrive, it will be the opposite. They will struggle there. So I think that suggests that the ADHD is partly to do an environment when we get that extra stress, and when we're under stress, we will struggle. If we struggle a lot, then we could end up diagnosed with ADHD. That's how we can end up with that that kind of that diagnosis. So in that sense, I think it's both. I think it's it's a disorder in one sense, but it's also just a natural brain wiring, uh a certain neurotype or brain type. Autism is kind of like um it's a it's it's kind of different, but it some people can be both, which is why I'm hesitating on that. But autism is it's a different kind of communication. So we with autism, we don't tend to do talk small talk very well, don't make eye contact the same well as uh as uh uh eye contact the same way as other people, we might prefer to look away when communicating, and these things often get misinterpreted by people thinking, oh, you you're not very social or you don't like people, and of course that's not true, we just kind of communicate differently. Um so also with uh autism, it can be repetition, it can be it can be doing the same thing over and over, or having limited interests, being a more of a specialist than a um than a generalist, you know, having maybe only one or two really interests where you're really, really, really interested in that and almost like you know obsessive about it. So those are some of the things with uh with autism. There's a lot that ADHD and autism share, by the way. And of course, it is now more accepted, it's become very well accepted now, although it wasn't that you weren't able to diagnose someone with autism and ADHD, but today it's it's recognized that you can be both. And um of course I always have my own realization that um at some point that I was ADHD and it was diagnosed in 2004 at age 24. And then recently I was diagnosed with autism, and I had long suspected that I was both, but back then it wasn't considered to be, you know, it wasn't like it wasn't allowed. You can't be both, it can only be one or the other.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

Well, thanks for the clarification. Now, what would you say are the best coping mechanisms to deal with ADHD and autism? Or what are your strategies to cope?

SPEAKER_00 18:07

Good question. What are the strategies for managing ADHD and autism? Well, there are many. Um, and um, but I'd like to share a general framework here or uh some ways to understand that, how we go about that. So it's very individualized, you know, strategy is going to be different for each individual. So you've got to find out what works for you, and that takes quite a lot of practice. You've got to be like a like a detective to kind of figure these things out for yourself. That's why I can help be helpful to work with a coach because they can help to ask the right questions and help you to um, especially when we struggle with executive functions, to be able to think things through and figure out what works for us and then you learn new strategies and also apply those strategies. I take a holistic approach, and here's a helpful analogy. It's like it's like cooking. So you want to get like the perfect recipe for you. And one of the things I've noticed over the years is working with people is they'll say, okay, well, I don't want my child to take medication. Um, so we're we've been working on their diet, and and it helped a bit, but it wasn't enough. So now we went on to exercise, and now we're here hoping the hypnosis will sort this out. If it doesn't, they'll have to take medication. And I'll explain to them that the way to think about this is, and the research shows this, is to think of it holistically. There's something called combination therapy, which shows that when you combine medication with a therapy like hypnosis or coaching or whatever, that you get even better results. And so, you know, it's about combining things together like a recipe. So we've got to take care of the mind as well as the body, and these things go together. There's the the you know, we've got to look after both, we've got to feed our mind, feed our body, exercise our mind, and exercise our body. And and um there's also a synergistic effect that happens when we when we do it that way. We get we experience even more um positive outcomes. So I think about I think of it like holistically, like I say, like a recipe. And for each individual, though, it's it the recipe is different, right? So it's not exactly the same. So you would kind of play with that recipe, and you know, maybe it is the the cake looks good, but it doesn't taste sweet enough, so maybe it needs more sugar. Um, maybe it's not right it's not rising, or you know, so many different possibilities, but you keep tinkering with it until you find what works. Of course, there are some pointers here to what can generally help us, and I want to share with you a framework that I use to help us understand that. But it's called Drive, and that's D-R-I-V-E. So D stands for discovery, and this is about understanding. So understanding your ADHD or your autism is really important. You understand it, then you're able to respond in a different way. And um, obviously, it can help you as well to not to feel so confused or to kind of figure things out or to um come up with some strategies by understanding it that some strategies that might work for you. So understanding is so, so important. Never underrate that. Um, the other one is R for refueling. Well, I'm using an analogy here here of driving. So imagine that you're driving a car and you know, you need to understand the car, right? When you have ADHD autism, it's like you're it's like you have a different kind of car. Um certainly for ADHD, it's more like a Ferrari. It's like a neighbor of mine that that his dad bought a Ferrari when he was younger, and he um don't know how he managed to drive it, like it was just gonna drive it down the road. But anyway, it went he almost crashed it into the drive opposite. So he didn't even get that far, just a couple of feet. Um, because it accelerated. So fast. So when you have a Ferrari brain, a race car brain, you need to learn how to apply the brake. So learning to slow down is one of the things that we learn. And um so R in this is for fuel. So we need energy. One of the ways to manage uh ADHD and neurodivergence is making sure that we have enough energy. This can come through medication, it also comes through getting enough sunlight, exercise, uh, eating well, all these kinds of things. Of course, those things can be difficult for us as well because of our executive function or whatever it might be. But these are things obviously for us to aim for that are going to make a big impact. So making sure we can get energy into our system. Another example here is regulating stress and anxiety. Because when we're stressed and anxious, our brain will burn up energy, and that means we will have less energy to play with, less energy to be able to function. So being able to regulate stress and anxiety actually increases our energy, or you could say gives us more fuel. Think about it. If you're driving a car, you might know how to drive, um, or you've learned about your uniquely wired brain, you might know where you want to go, but if you don't have fuel in the tank, you can't move. So it's really important to get more fuel into our system. I stands for intention, and that's like knowing where you want to go to today. Using the analogy of driving a car, it's like, where do you want to drive to today? Do we want to go to the beach? What is the destination? So when you have ADHD and when you have autism, it's very helpful to have to know what your goals are and have a destination. And there's some there's some research I came across uh where they tracked people with ADHD that grew up to be more, shall we say, I don't know what you what term, more successful was a term that they use. And one of the things they found was that those when they were children, they they had goals, you know, and and they would think about what it is they want to achieve. And so that's that's helpful. And with things like autism and ADHD, just having a goal, knowing what you're gonna do next, can help us with anxiety because we know what we're going to do, right? Um, not knowing can give us more anxiety, but knowing what it is I'm doing today. So, for example, when I go through my day, I like to plan the night before, and so I know when I get at the desk or whatever from work that I'm not sitting there going, wait a minute, what am I doing? And then I feel weird because I don't know what I'm doing. I like it quite orderly and know what I'm doing. It's both good for for the autism, it's also good for the ADHD to have that structure and then to work through that structure. It gives me that clarity and makes me feel calmer. Uh, V is for value, so you know where you want to go, where you want to drive to today, but why do you want to go there? And when, especially when you're ADHD, it's not enough to just go somewhere just because, right? Um, so for example, I had a client recently uh to do with doing their studies. It's quite a common thing I get, you know, someone doing their exams or whatever, and they're not motivated to do it. And they're really struggling to even find motivation. They can't see that why should I do this thing that doesn't seem to have any immediate benefit? Um, sometimes with ADHD, it can be it can be as simple as just thinking through and answering that very question: why is it of benefit to you? Why is it of value to you to do this? You see, that doesn't necessarily come naturally to us because we just live in the now. Whereas neurotypicals, people that don't have ADHD, they they do stuff, they'd have to think maybe about why they do it. Or they or they know why they do it and they do it, right? So when we're ADHD or autistic, we it's really helpful to really consciously think, why do I need to do this? Why do I want to do this? And then not only do we know where we want to go, but we have it's a different kind of fuel. This is this is this is the why gives us more like the the mental fuel to be able to go on that journey towards our destination. Um finally, E for engagement, and this is like you're on the journey, you're going through life, you're off to the beach, you're driving to the beach, you know how to drive, and so on, and you got the fuel in the tank. But what if you get distracted? What if something happens? What if you feel like, oh no, I'm failing, um, it's not going away that I planned? Um, maybe you're feeling emotional, dysregulated. So engagement is about the strategies or the tools to be to be able to help us to continue that journey. And certainly with engagement, there's a lot of strategies there, or a lot of tools is about expanding your toolbox. So I, you know, I with myself, um, I practice what I preach. I I help my clients expand their toolbox, and and um, you know, and I and and similarly, I have um an expanded toolbox. There's many different strategies and techniques which I use on a daily basis, and just to give you some idea of those, um the number one thing that I do is always, and I'm not saying I do this perfectly, I do struggle with this and I go through phases, but number one is get up at the same time every day and get outdoors as soon as you can, about 30 minutes or so, and see the light and get moving, get get active. And that's really, really helpful for uh ADHD and autism, helpful for your energy, your focus, and your circadian rhythm, uh, which will help with sleep and so on. And I don't want to go into the into the research on that too much and how much time you got here, but it's very simple. It might seem too simplistic, but I found that is the number one thing. And also many of my clients have, um, even though they were skeptical, they've agreed. And there is research as well to show that you know, um, getting up at the same time, getting exposure to daylight and activity in the morning is really, really helpful, not only for us and our our physical health, but for our mental health and for um for our brain to be focused and um and functional. So exercise is is really good as well. Um, I go at least three days a week, I go to the gym three days a week, and I kind of do a like walk or run in the morning just to wake me up. And I find that's an essential. And again, there's a lot of reason and a lot of research to show that exercise is amazing for um for our mental health, especially for ADHD. And um, meditation is one as well. I've already spoken about that. I I've continued to meditate ever since I was very, very young. My meditation today tend to be shorter, I'm less obsessed by meditation, and also, but with practice, that's how we become gifted, we practice, is that I can get into that meditative state quite easily. And what I've learned from that, I can now help other people and share with other people. Meditation, believe it or not, when you even when you have ADHD, it's actually a lot easier than you think. And here are some ways sorry, here are some ways to practice meditation and make it fun and enjoyable and easy. Um, related to that are some kind of some technologies that I use. I use brainwave entrainment, which is a term that is often used that you would recognize here is called binal beats. But I use I use the quality stuff, shall we say? I use the quality stuff, and this stuff for me has been life-changing. For me, that's a bit like taking meds, because I don't take meds. Um the stimulation that comes from the brainwave entrainment, it's just like putting on a pair of headphones and listening to these awesome sounds. That for me is very much like taking medication. I also have a device which is similar. It uses sound but also uses light and um some other forms of um stimulation for my brain. So I often combine these things together because when you combine different strategies or different therapies together, you get even greater effects, greater benefits. They become more powerful as you stack them up. And um, of course, I also practice hypnosis, surprise, surprise. So I use that on a daily basis. I often just do very short hypnosis sessions, like maybe a couple of minutes or so. And sometimes I'll listen to a longer one, a recording for a break at lunchtime or for a power nap. And um finally, somatics, and that relates to hypnosis. Um, I'll give you a quick example of a somatic technique you can use right away for anxiety and for emotional regulation for things like uh rejection, sensitivity, dysphoria if you if you struggle with that RSD. So you what you simply do is you just simply take three conscious breaths, you breathe in through the nose and then breathe out through the mouth breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth. So three conscious breath is like that, and then you just kind of wrap your hands around yourself like you're hugging yourself and just hold that, feel that deep sense of pressure and just breathe and notice how that feels, and then just tap your left hand against your own body and tap your right hand and tap your left hand and tap your right hand. This is called bilateral stimulation, which helps us to process anxiety and just to relax, and so just tap your hands one side to the other, one side to the other. You might want to close your eyes now and just focus on your body and just notice how your body feels. You might feel some tension, but just notice it, but then try to change it or stop it from changing, but just notice it. And even if there's some tension or anxiety, you can also scan your body and notice that you can find a part of your body that feels okay or neutral, or even a part of your body that feels relaxed. And this teaches us that even when there's anxiety or whatever, there's a part of us that feels okay. And we can find that still point within us, what I like to call the eye of the storm. Anyway, that's a very simple somatic technique called a 321 reset that you can use. It's very simple, very powerful. It's great for um for emotional regulation or if you're feeling overwhelmed. And um, yeah, that's a gold star practice that I that I use myself every day, and clients use that too.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

Wow, these are all really great coping mechanisms. Um, now, out of curiosity, if you can give advice to someone who might be going through something similar, uh, what would it be?

SPEAKER_00 32:58

What advice would I give to someone that is, you know, going through similar or um I suppose it depends whether you're thinking you may have ADHD or autism or or if you've already been diagnosed. But uh if you're wondering, I would say it's better to know than not know, because then you can at least know what it is that you're dealing with. I think it does make a difference to to have that awareness and that that that understanding, that discovery. Um it certainly made a big difference to my life, and I've seen that with other people. And then on the other hand, I've seen people that that just go through life and ignore that, pretend they they aren't, they don't have ADHD, or or maybe they think sometimes they do, but they don't do anything about it, and they're still kind of in the dark. And um, and I've seen I feel like those people can struggle even more. Um at least that's been my experience. So I think it's better to know than not know. And face the reality, and that doesn't necessarily mean being formally diagnosed. There are various reasons why we can or can't be diagnosed, or we can't be, you know, diagnosed immediately. Um, people self-diagnose, so to speak, and I think there's some value to that. It's uh I'm not for a moment dismissing people that do that. Some people need a formal diagnosis. For example, with me with autism, I felt like I did. I I used to always say that I didn't, and I went through decades of thinking, well, what's the point? I had my ADHD diagnosis and they're kind of similar, and and all the things that I've learned from ADHD, I can kind of apply to autism, but of course, these are two, they're not exactly the same thing, and it's very confusing having ADHD and autism. So being able to kind of figure all of that out, what how do those two things go together? They seem very different from each other, right? So uh it I think it'd be very it's such a complex process. So for me, it really did make a big difference to finally go, aha, okay, this is this is what it is, just as I thought, and to be able to kind of process that and work through it. But it's different for for different people, you know. So you may have a diagnosis, you may not, but certainly you can do something about it, whether you have a diagnosis or not. And there are many people that come to me for help that will say, Do I need a diagnosis to work with you? Because you work with people with ADHD. And my response is no. Maybe you think you have ADHD, or maybe you have similar challenges, and I can still help you with that. If you need a diagnosis, um, then you know, get a diagnosis, but you can still do something today. And so I'm saying this to listen to people listening right now. There's wherever you are in that process, there's still things that you can do today. Start small, less is more, and start today. One of the things that really helped me with my journey of managing uh ADHD and autism growing up became part of my three-word philosophy of less is more. So, you know, don't overwhelm yourself, don't try and do everything all at once, just take small steps, less is more, and start small and start today. I think a support system is really helpful too. If I kind of go back into my and really share my my kind of stuff, I went into my my younger childhood uh with my story, but when I was 24 when I was diagnosed, there was someone that came into my life in 2006, uh Sarah, and it turned out that she was a hypnotherapist. She was pivotal in my in my kind of my process, you know. Um, I honestly think I may not be where I am today without her. She was that kind of person you just connected with right away, that you just got on, you know, really, really well, and just felt like already knew her. And yeah, and she was a hypnotherapist, so she started helping me, and she believed in me, and she could see, you know, I was stuck and like given up on dreaming and um given up on trying to change my life. I've just stuck there for years and years. I was in a really dark place, but um, she was there for me, and that when you've got someone in your court, so to speak, that makes such a big difference to you. So a support system is really helpful. Depends where you're listening from in the world. Um, maybe you're in the States. So now Dan and Yella, you're over there in Canada. So um uh yeah, um, there will be different organizations there, but really finding some support, like you know, a support group here in the UK. We have um a few organizations like that. There's one called ADHD UK. Um, we do get people from all around the world coming onto our calls. I offer a call third Wednesday of the month, and um, you know, I do a hip ADHD hypnosis group a third Wednesday of the month, and it's really wonderful to have that space with other people that are neurodivergent and that are also struggling with similar things, and also we get to meet and not only share of our troubles, but also share of the strategies and solutions that we might have. Because, yeah, we uh the recipe for each person is different, but it can still be helpful to bounce ideas off people, right? We don't all hopefully live in isolation if um but if we do, honestly connecting with other people, um, however that is, you know, sometimes on our ADHD UK calls, some people don't want to put the camera on, and that's okay. I is just some way of connecting with other people, and you know, and hearing their story, um, their strategies, and sharing yours if you want to um can make such a big difference. So that's really powerful. And and uh yeah, and I suppose as well getting a coach, someone that understands this as well, someone that is you know an ADHD or neurodivergent coach that can help you through this process. Um, it won't be easy, but it will be worth it. Uh when I say that, I always think of the sign above the mirror at our gym, and it says it was never meant to be easy. And I always think, but it will be worth it. I mean, life isn't easy, and when you're neurodivergent, it's it's it's it's so hard, right? It's it's really it's really challenging. And I suppose that's part of what I would say is keep going. Um, one of the biggest things that I've learned on this journey that helped me to get out of like victim mindset and that kind of thought of, well, what if you know, if I never had ADHD, where I could be, and I wish I'd known earlier, all that kind of thinking, that kind of grief that comes when you realize you have ADHD. Um, is the flexibility, developing a flexible mindset. This is one of the keys to success in life, whatever success means to you, because it's different for everyone. We're all at different stages. Sometimes when I'm working with a client, for example, I've had clients where the miracle was for them to be able to make dinner for their children that day. And for them, that's a big miracle. And so take it one step at a time, start small, less is more, but start today and um keep going. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. It's a journey that will be worth it. And finally, I'd say don't dismiss the basics as well, like simple stuff. I mentioned getting up in the morning and getting outdoors and getting some fresh air, seeing the light and going for a walk. These sound like basic things. Now sometimes when you get the diagnosis and it's referred to as a neurological condition, we sort of think, oh, that's ridiculous. I have a neurological condition, and I get it. We fought hard to get that recognition and get get that, you know, that help or whatever. And we've gone through a lot of people dismissing us or saying that we're imagining it or whatever it might be, or most of our lives not knowing that we're in we were neurodivergent. But um, those basic things are far more powerful than we realize. And so, you know, when I help people, it's not just the hypnosis and the coaching, it is a holistic approach. We do the these things, especially like coaching hypnosis, so that we're able to start to do the things we want to do in life, you know. We don't do coaching just for the sake of coaching or hypnosis. Well, you might do hypnosis for the sake of hypnosis because it can be really pleasurable, which is why I think it's really, really uh it is actually kind of a neurodivergent thing, hypnosis. But but we do these things as well so that we can experience the changes in our lives, the transformations, and the outcomes, and you know, just get on with life. And and I get it that we struggle sometimes to do those basic simple things, but we also sometimes discount those simple things, thinking that they won't make any difference to us, and actually they can and they will. So, like I say, um, getting out in nature, seeing the sunlight, moving, all these simple things, um, connecting with other people is really, really powerful. Anyway, thank you for this opportunity to share. And I hope then Daniela that you will get you'll be able to edit down my uh motor mouth uh presentation here. I I will chat forever and ever. Um, I'm well known for it. I will talk talk your ear off is a British saying. I don't know if they say that in America, we'll you know chew someone's ear off. Um, but yeah, so I hope hopefully this has been valuable and that you can the editing won't be too challenging and it will be valuable to people. And uh thank you for this opportunity and bye for now. Oh, and by the way, if anyone wants to get hold of me, you can find me. I am on um, you know, on social media on YouTube. My YouTube channel is advantagehypnotherapy, that's ad. Get it? ADD, advantage hypnotherapy, and also I am on Facebook and I am on LinkedIn. Um, so yeah, you can get hold of me on social media or my website is also hypnosis foradh.com. That's hypnosis foradh.com.

SPEAKER_01 43:40

Okay, awesome. That's all really great advice. Uh listen, Jamie, I'll end it here. Thank you so much for joining me again. Keep doing what you're doing and take care.