The Meaning of Fun With ADHD - Keosha

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to the Adam Jackson Podcast. How I survive the series. In these mental health episodes, I'm creating a space for real conversations about the things we often keep to ourselves, our struggles, our healing, and the stories that shape who we are. Hello, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today on another mental health discussion. Um, before we begin, can you give yourself a little introduction?

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Thank you so much for having me on the podcast. I'm Kiosha Jones, and I help women who have or identify with ADHD to decrease the overwhelm in their life through emotional regulation so that they can focus, be more present, and follow through on what they want to do. I have been working in the coaching space almost six years by the end of this month, and it just brings me great joy to see the impact that I make on women's lives because they're finally taking time to take care of themselves in this way, and then to see the ripple effect that it does have on their family, on their friends, and also in their lives.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Thanks for the lovely introduction. Um, that's awesome. Do you also have ADHD?

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Yes, I do also have ADHD. Um, it was something that I came to understand in 2021 when I took a class. I have a background in physical therapy, so I was doing some CEUs to maintain my licensure while seeing if there was something that could uh support my clients better because I started out as a time management productivity coach. And when I went through that class, I was like, oh my gosh, that is absolutely me. And I went through the process of formal diagnosis a couple of years ago and was diagnosed right at 39, I believe it was.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

Wow, okay, so do you also receive coaching or therapy?

SPEAKER_01 2:14

So currently I do not have therapy or coaching for my ADHD. Um, I did do emotional regulation coaching um back in 2021, and I also did um emotional regulation coaching back in 25. Um, but I did have counseling in 2023, um, but that was more leaning towards the mental health aspect that I was was dealing with uh instead of you know just regular stuff that I go through. Um, so yeah, no coaching or therapy currently uh for ADHD. I tend to manage it on my own.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Wow, that's pretty impressive that you're able to manage it on your own. Um, how would you define ADHD? Like what are its symptoms for those who aren't familiar?

SPEAKER_01 3:14

So ADHD now comes under the umbrella term, uh attention deficit, hyperactive disorder. Um, before it used to be ADHD or ADD. Uh they have put them all together, and there are now three subtypes. Uh, there's hyperactive and intensive, which goes for the H. Uh, then you have the inattentive, and then you have combined, and I have combined, so I have both. Um, so when you're looking at the inattentive type, this is the person who seems to be kind of spacey, unorganized. Um, they tend to uh forget things, they lose things easily, they have a hard time staying focused. Uh, then you've got your hyperactive, where the person tends to intrude on people's conversations. Uh, say, for instance, you ask them a question and they answer it before you finish, uh, because their brain is working at lightning speed, um, but also the impulsivity uh does not allow them to wait. Um, they tend to be more fidgety. Um, so those are some of the things that characterize the two separately, and then of course, combined, you have a mixed bag of some or all of those things.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

Thanks for the clarification. Um, now would you say that it can fluctuate? Like, can some people with ADHD have hyperactive sometimes and then other times intensive or both at the same time?

SPEAKER_01 4:58

So I would say that if someone does have the combined type, there might be times where one is more prominent than the other, depending on what the person is focusing on, the environment that the the person is in. Um, are they doing something that's fun or interesting? Um, because if they're doing something that's fun or interesting, usually the distraction part isn't as bad. Um, but when it's not, then that hyperactivity, impulsivity decision to, you know, move on to something else will be more likely because it's harder to focus on something that's not interesting. Um, so I will say that it can present at different levels based on those those factors. Uh, for some people, um, one may become apparent later on in life because ADHD can also have um certain occurrences after like chemotherapy, uh, brain injuries, um, trauma. So there are other things that can uh move the brain into those states.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Okay, so just to clarify, would you say that it's important to be busy in order to have distractions, so long as it's something that the person likes?

SPEAKER_01 6:29

So if the person likes whatever it is, the focus tends to lock in much better than if it's a task that they don't like. And so, yes, if you really want someone to do something with ADHD, give them something fun and something that they enjoy. But if they don't like it, find a way to make it enjoyable. And I think that is one of the keys. Like, say for instance, you don't like doing in-box maintenance, what's gonna make that fun for you? Blasting some music and having some coffee. Uh, like give things that you it makes your brain excited, um, because it the more um senses that can get involved, the brain tends to work better. And dopamine is a neurotransmitter in the brain. Uh I feel like I got that wrong. But dopamine is something in the brain. I don't know why I can't remember the name at the moment. Um, that is needed. It is responsible for pleasure, it is responsible for follow-through. So adding on those things that are fun allow for task completion and increased focus in a person who has ADHD.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

Yeah, that totally makes sense. I think it's important to like what you do. Um, like you said, um, if you don't like what you do, you can always, you know, do something to make it fun. Would you also say that pleasure is a big motivator? Like, would you say that ADHD can go hand in hand with uh symptoms of depression? Like being motivated to do things takes a lot of effort for some people. So would you say that that's the case?

SPEAKER_01 8:19

Absolutely, I would. And it is found that in women that they are more likely to be diagnosed with um depression or anxiety or both prior to the ADHD diagnosis, um, because it doesn't necessarily present the same way in women as it does men, and women tend to be more of the inattentive type. So uh because of that, their mind tends to wander, they seem scattered, and this is where people start labeling them as unorganized, as scatterbrained, as blonde, ditzy, and then they start to internalize those things outside of the fact that it's really hard for them to do those things. Yes, it is very, very likely that depression and ADHD uh coincide. Um depression tends to be a comorbidity, uh, and sometimes ADHD doesn't even show up until later in a person's life. And I say show up in the sense of having time constraints like going to school, um, having a job that creates enough healthy pressure for the person to do. And so they don't realize that something is off until uh later when those time constraints are changed. And then they also can become depressed because they're like, why didn't I know this all my life? Um, for those who have struggled, like then identity shifts start happening. So, yes, uh depression is definitely a thing that can run right alongside um ADHD and you know the dopamine deficiency in itself um can play a part in that.

SPEAKER_00 10:19

Wow, thanks for clarifying. I didn't even know that. Um now with your experience, um, what would you say are the best coping strategies to deal with ADHD?

SPEAKER_01 10:33

So one of the things that I would say is find a community. And the reason why I say that is because a lot of people, women and men, tend to feel alone in what they're experiencing with ADHD. So finding people who understand what it's like being able to share in a non-judgmental space and receive support, that is a huge way to cope with ADHD. Another thing is to understand your thoughts and how they eed your feelings. Um, because emotional regulation is one of the biggest things that can help support an ADHD brain. And if you don't take time to sit with yourself, to learn it on your own, or to have someone help you, um it's gonna be a lot harder to cope with it. Um, another thing, too, if you're you know having a hard time with the task, this is something that I've done in the past and have done recently, call a friend and be like, hey, I need to do XYZ. Can you just hang out on the phone with me uh while we chat? Or maybe not, but just knowing that you're there is gonna help me uh be able to do it. And gamify everything if you can. If there's something that you need to do, make a game out of it, figure out a way uh to have fun. Um, but when it comes down to the piece of you know really coping mentally and emotionally time, take time to sit with yourself. People don't do it enough in order to truly understand themselves and work through those thoughts, work through those feelings. And if if you can't do it alone, like I said before, find help. There's someone who's gonna be there that is gonna be able to guide you in being able to do so in a way that's best for you. Um, and don't be afraid to fire someone if it's not working, like for real. When we pay people, we have the right to tell them this is not working. We don't have to continue to spend money where the money is not serving us, and sometimes I we we tend to forget that. Um, so those would be my biggest things in being able to uh cope with ADHD. And I will say another thing too. Have fun, don't forget that. If you have hobbies, do them. Don't forget to take time for yourself for things that you enjoy. Figure that out, explore. There's nothing wrong with trying something and not liking it. Um, because that happens, we're human. And if we don't like something we did before, find something else. Fun is an integral part of life if we do it right.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

Yeah, really well said. I think it is important to have a good support system, um, you know, to have people who can understand what they're going through. And uh just to point out on the the what you said about fun being an important part of life, um, I personally feel like everyone's purpose in life is to find happiness. Everything else is just fluff, in my opinion. Is this something that you would agree with?

SPEAKER_01 14:18

Thank you so much. Yes, uh, a support system is extremely important. Um, so for me, my biggest and personal fulfillment and happiness uh from life comes from the spiritual side of my life, and everything else goes around that and contributes to my happiness. And fun is one of the ways that I get to do that. Um, fun with my spiritual activities, fun with my friends, fun with my family, fun with myself. Um, and so yes, doing something fun every day, if at all possible, is a key to maintaining a happy state. Because if life is nothing but go, go, go, then we squeeze out the room for things that do create enjoy um enjoyment. And I do know because I have dealt with major depression myself, that it makes it really hard to do the things that you even want to do. And at times for people with ADHD, it's the same because starting tasks is very hard. So they may want to do the fun thing, but the brain just it's just like, I don't even want to start that. I'm just gonna sit here. Um, but finding a way to do something that you enjoy every day, I do believe is a factor in remaining happy and even starting to pick up on that happiness again if it's been lost.

SPEAKER_00 15:54

Really well said. Um, now if I were to ask you to give advice to people who suffer with ADHD or just suffer with that initial push, uh, what would your advice be?

SPEAKER_01 16:09

My advice to someone who is struggling with ADHD or having a hard time with that initial push is to start with two minutes. Two minutes is a very short and defined time that lets your brain know that it can come to an end. And usually once you get into that two minutes, you decide to keep going because your brain has perceived that it now can derive pleasure from the finished product. So start with two minutes. Uh, do your best to work on not being a perfectionist about things, um, and give yourself grace. We're we're imperfect, we're gonna make mistakes, and it's super important to practice self-love, um, no matter who you are, but sometimes it tends to be a little bit more hard-hitting for individuals with ADHD. So give yourself grace, give yourself love, and if you need to start, two minutes.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

Thanks. That's so really great advice. Uh listen, I'll end it here. Thank you so much for joining me again. Keep doing what you're doing and take care.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

And you're welcome. So glad to have been on the podcast today. And I'm really, really happy um that we were able to connect. And I appreciate you and you keep doing what you're doing, and thanks so much for showcasing all of us who are willing to, you know, show up. You you're doing an amazing job. And I must say, your voice is like so super calming. And um, I hope you have a wonderful day and keep up the great work.