Everything Kingdom Podcast

Created to belong | Why God designed Us for a healthy community - with special guest Bri Seymour

• Lucky Reagan Njumba

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🌿 Created to Belong | Why God Designed Us for a Healthy Community

🤝 Welcome back to the Everything g Kingdom Podcast.


In this episode, your host 🎙️ Lucky is joined by special guest ✨ Bri Seymour for a heartfelt conversation about God's design for authentic, life-giving community.

Through powerful stories and personal testimonies, Bri shares how the people God placed around her helped shape her faith, character, identity, and purpose. From friendships and mentors to the local church and everyday relationships growing up, she reflects on why community has become one of the highest values in her life and how God often does His deepest work through the people around us.

💬 In this episode, we talk about:
✨ Why God created us to belong, not just believe.
🤍 How healthy community transforms our faith and identity.
🌱 How to master up courage, step out and ask to know someone.
🙌 Real testimonies of God's faithfulness through relationships.
🏡 How to build and find authentic, Christ-centered community.
❤️ Why no one was created to walk alone.

📖 Key Scripture
"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together... but encouraging one another." — Hebrews 10:24–25

🙏 Whether you're feeling isolated, looking for genuine friendships, or desiring to grow deeper in your walk with Jesus, this conversation will encourage you to embrace God's beautiful design for community.

👇 If this episode encouraged you:
👍 Like this video
💬 Leave a comment sharing how community has impacted your life.
📤 Share this episode with a friend who needs this encouragement.
🔔 Subscribe to Everything Kingdom Podcast for more Kingdom conversations on faith, purpose, and discipleship.

📱 Stay Connected
🎧 More episodes coming every week!
❤️ Thank you for being part of the Everything Kingdom family.

#EverythingKingdom #CreatedToBelong #ChristianPodcast #KingdomCommunity #Faith #Belonging #Jesus #Church #Discipleship #ChristianLiving #Testimony #KingdomCulture #Bible #Purpose #Community #onearthasitisinheaven


SPEAKER_01

The craziest transformation is just committing to one another. And that's like the foundation. Like if we can just commit, even if we disagree.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, hi there. Welcome back to uh the Everything Kingdom podcast. It is me, your host Lucky, back in the studio today. And I'm excited to introduce our guest today, Brianna Seymour. Is that right? We call you Bri.

SPEAKER_01

Bri.

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to the studio.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, we're so glad that you're here. We have such an important message today, and I think it is so needed, especially in New York City, but I know everywhere around the world. Yeah. It's a message that cuts across. So we're talking about a healthy community today, and we're talking our title today will be like Created to Belong. You know, why is God designed us to fit or to belong to a community? And it's going to be so significant. And I can't wait to uh hear all the stories and all the testimonies and all the fun moments of doing life with people with Breed. But before that, uh, we are going to break bread as a culture here. At every episode, we take communion because there's nothing that we are going to do that is outside of what God has already paid for at the cross. So, King Jesus, we honor you and thank you for the provision for all things that we'll ever need. That in your wounded body is the payment for our entire health, our entire bodies, our entire families, cities, nations to be whole. So thank you for the price that you paid. That my friends, my city, my family get to benefit.

SPEAKER_04

And we declare that by your stripes, God, we are healed. Oh God, thank you.

SPEAKER_00

Your precious, precious son. The blood that he shed became a payment for our sins. And thank you for righteousness and salvation belongs to us right now because of what you said and what you've done. And we'd honor you by taking this cup and we declare that as for me and my house, as for me and my city, and on behalf of those that are watching and listening to our podcast, we say we are taking the same and pleading the same blood over them. Ladies, speak a better word and a better covenant.

SPEAKER_04

We take this in Jesus' name. Oh wow. Oh, thank you, God.

SPEAKER_00

This is brilliant and this is beautiful. And I want to start with a question by saying this What if one of your greatest obstacles to spiritual growth is not the lack of prayer, it is not the lack of church attendance or Bible reading, but a lack of genuine health communities. We're gonna start right there, and I'm gonna invite my friend Bri to uh introduce herself. Who are you? Yeah, what do you do? And uh our listeners and our viewers have no clue of who you are, so do us the honors.

SPEAKER_01

So I'm Brianna Seymour. I moved to New York probably two years ago, almost to the date. Um, and I have a company where I market influencers and I do a lot of their brand marketing and partnerships and things like that. And so I've been doing that for gosh, six years. And before that, I was born and raised in Oklahoma. Um, Tulsa represents best city.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, careful. Just kidding. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

But I love Tulsa and I think there's so much good in Tulsa. And so grew up there. Um, I have, let's see, three older brothers. So I'm the youngest of four. Technically, I'm the fourth and the only girl. Wow. That's a whole thing in itself. That's all that's what you need to know about me. Um and yeah, I had such a sweet childhood, and I um because we're talking about community, I think I'm just gonna jump right in. Okay. And I grew up with so many friends, and I feel like friendship was my greatest asset in my life. And it's the thing I poured so much attention into. And so um my story is so enroped with people that I can't leave out like key people in my life who have just been there because I would say that my greatest growth and just my best memories, like growing up, are it's all around people. It's family gatherings, it's friendships where I run down the street to my girlfriend's house who lived like four houses down, and we would get on a four-wheeler or like those different things that just made my life so much richer. And so honestly, growing up, I was so just concerned about the people. And I think that's like family value that I um my parents have instilled in us as well. Um, and so I think every pivotal moment in my life has to do with people. Wow. Um, and it's just, yeah, I think there's so many stories and experiences that have made me who I am, but it's always come through people. Um, being alongside me or um trying something new and somebody being right there with me in every season. So it's a little bit about me, kind of hit a little road off the topic, but uh yeah, I think it's just important to know that I have a million stories, but people have played a part in all of those stories.

SPEAKER_00

No, I love that so much because my first experience in running into you and your husband, you're the first, I think in the first, in the very first week in me coming to New York City, you and your husband said this statement that lucky, your family. I'm like that's not something that you hear a lot coming into New York City.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And my entire experience around you that time, even up to this day, has always been like, these are community people, these are people who value life, doing life with one another, and they value friendships, they value connection, you know. I mean, it comes at a price at some time, sometimes, but it's all the beauty of doing life.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And uh my experience was that, and uh, we were chatting with you, and I was thinking, what's on your heart? You know, all of a sudden you say something like that starts something in me, it's like, no, it is so significant that we get to talk about that. Because that's something something that we don't get to sh to hear so many people talk about, especially in a city like this.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and you know, I mean, I could talk about what I do, but I mean, I'm doing it for the people. And I mean, I love what I do because I get to partner with people. And that's my favorite part about it all. And so I always joke with like Jameson, my husband. I'm like, I don't care if I have zero dollars or am literally like jobless, whatever it is. I'm like, as long as we've connection, wow, that's it. Like to me, that is like highest priority. And I know I can trace that back to my dad and my and the culture that he has and my parents and how they've just chose family over pretty much everything. And you know, when you're in a culture, your highest value is what you'll pursue. And so in my family culture, our highest value is family. So that's the thing that we pursued at all costs, whether it was like it was always about trying to connect and hurtling those uncomfortable moments where you have those tensions and relationships. It was like, no, we're not gonna divide, we're gonna figure out a way to come together in everything that we do. And so that value is just such ingrained inside of me growing up. And um, and so now to be like an adult and just like live on my own and be married and live in the city, you know, like I think I appreciate those values so much more because I'm able to see what my parents actually paved away for and appreciate it and take it with me as like this will be one of my highest values that I fight like no other for. And it's obviously doesn't come easy. And there are some wild stories of disconnection and having to fight for connection with so many different people. Um, but I know that that's like one of my fights that God's given me is to like fight for that. And honestly, being the fourth child in my family, like I kind of did my own thing growing up, you know, like I was just off on my own. And so it all it hasn't always come easy. But then those deep values that have been ingrained in you just kind of come out as you grow older. And you're like, I don't even know why I'm doing what I'm doing. And then all of a sudden it connects, and I'm like, oh, I know why, because somebody before me paved a way to put this value inside of me, and now it's coming at an easier cost than it came for them.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And so yeah, I just I don't know, I love it, and I think it's my strength, but it's also my weakness.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. It is beautiful you mentioned that because that is so kingdom that the highest value in kingdom is not outcome, it is not works, it is actually connection. And I've seen in our culture and in so many cultures, we have these values that we live by and uh all those things that we cherish, like you know, and like admire a lot. But we think it's just like normal life. Yet actually it's the kingdom principle. You know, uh one of our leaders was speaking on Sunday, and she said that most of us sometimes we are looking at outcome in a situation, yet God is at the same time he sees something is thinking closeness, unity, yeah, connection. And for us, we are thinking, you know, let me get things done, you know, so all of that kind of stuff. So my question to you would be to uh our listeners, even out there, what do you hope our listeners and our viewers or our community like what has a healthy community looked like for you?

SPEAKER_01

I I just want to jump off of what you said, but it's so I even get caught in the trap of like outcome, you know, and like faith and moving in faith and expecting an outcome. And then what happens when it doesn't? And then I've had to really wrestle with that question, like what happens if I move in faith and the expectation doesn't come um and the outcome I thought didn't actually happen, you know? And then I'm I've been like, well, what did God do inside of me?

SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_01

And is this like my highest value? Is it that he did something in my heart more than he gave an outcome? Wow, you know, and I think as image bearers, that should be our like mindset. And I've had to fight for that of like, it's not necessarily about what I do, but it's about how he's developing me in all of these moments. And I think development is absolutely critical in healthy community. And um James and I, my husband, one of my favorite conversations we've ever had, and we were honestly in tension and it was a hard one. And I like intensely said, just as iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another. And I was so passionate about it. Yeah. And his response to me was like, if you think I'm gonna quit, then you're wrong.

SPEAKER_06

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01

And I thought in that moment, I was like, that is the most beautiful picture of what it looks like to be in community. Wow. And to be in relationship with one another. It is iron sharpening iron, and there's tension and there's a rub, but I think the commitment is like so important. Like that covenantal commitment. I'm committed to you, you're committed to me for the rest of our lives, and we're not going anywhere. So we have to figure this out, right? And there's the tension of figuring it out. And I think that is number one thing for me in my journey has been being committed to people. Wow. And I think that's the hardest part.

SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_01

You know, like, oh, I'm gonna commit to this person, lay down my life, just as it says in the word, like lay down each other's lives for one another and just commit and show up. And honestly, that's where I've seen like the craziest transformation is just committing to one another. And that's like the foundation. Like, if we can just commit, even if we disagree or there's a tension, it's like we're gonna commit to this and working it out. And that could be in a friendship, that could be a relationship, that could be coworker. I mean, just you obviously have very different relationships with different people in your lives, you know, but it's just like a I will show up. And that to me is like the foundation of healthy community. Wow.

SPEAKER_00

Showing up, no matter how it looks like, that's beautiful, that's amazing. I the Bible says like in Genesis 2.18 that it is never good for man to be alone. Why would God think that it is not healthy for a human being to be alone? Because in our culture, we actually value independence and individualism. You know, I know my rights, I know I'm my own self, I'm self-made. Statements like that, you know, it's just me and Jesus, things like that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

In your opinion, what would you think? Like, what's that what are the benefits of being in a uh doing life as a group of people?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well, I mean, I think one of the first thoughts that comes to my mind, I'm really thinking on this. I'm like, that's a big question. No, but I love it. I'm just really thinking. I think one of the first thoughts that comes to my mind is that I don't know better than what I know. And so if I have somebody around me who knows more than I do, I need to glean from that. And I think the best benefit of having people around you is that it kind of keeps you humble because you can, I can get so wrapped up in my own world that I know best, that I know the way it should be, yada, yada, yada. And I think in partial individualism has that thought, like, I'll work, I'll do these things. But what happens when I don't know the answer? Or I actually was wrong, right? Like then I actually need people around me to be submitted to, to be like, hey, what about this? Did you think about this thought or whatever, you know? And so I think the beauty of it is that I need people. And I think that's why God says you like it's not good for man to live alone, is because you actually need God. First and foremost, you need God. And people can without God, you become individualistic and selfish and these things, and it's about you. But if you can position your eyes to be like, I need God, then no longer is it about me, but it's about me needing something greater than myself, right? And so I think maybe that's it. It's like you, there's a longing inside of the you that you can only get in God. And I actually believe that God expresses himself through other people, right? So you can find those things that you need through other people just as much as him, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Are you saying that we are all created to belong?

SPEAKER_01

Um, absolutely. I think that is like one of the heart's deepest desires is to belong and to be in family and to carry just a connection, a deep connection with people, you know, and I think that's where people find truest satisfaction. That's where I've found satisfaction in my own life, is just being known by somebody and somebody seeing my weaknesses because I've allowed them into that place. And then all of a sudden I'm like, okay, I'm not alone. I can actually have these people who can carry this with me. And um, yeah, I don't have to do it alone. And I think it makes the burden lighter. Like it's not as difficult because you have people in your corner who are just like, I've got you, you know? And I can't tell you how many times I've had friends, one of my deepest friendships, I've known her for over 15 years and walked through every season of life with this um gal. And she will call me up and be like, hey, I just want to fly you out here just to hang out. And it's like those small things that you're just like, oh my goodness, that is the result of deep friendship, you know, or if I have something that I'm walking through, I can just call her on the phone and be like, hey, this is what I'm experiencing. It's really hard. And she just sits there with me and she listens and she prays, you know. And I think those moments are so critical because they form you, but they also teach you how to show up for other people too when someone gets a show for you. And I think that's what individualism robs you of not allowing people to show up for you and receiving that, you know? And then you don't learn the father's heart in another way because it's yeah, you're you're fixated on how you it he works with just you, you know. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00

That's beautiful. Yeah. That's just brilliant. Well, well put. Uh yeah, I I can't add anything to that. I would just ask, how are you able to find your tribe or your people?

SPEAKER_01

Great question.

SPEAKER_00

Because it's naughty. I don't know if it's naughty. Someone else there is always everyone is asking the same question. How do I find my people?

SPEAKER_01

In different seasons, it's looked super different. And so, I mean, some of my friends I've had since I was in kindergarten. And I've just stuck around with them. I mean, I've known one of my closest friends to this day. I've known him since I was five years old. And and just as I've gone, and that's that commitment too. Like, okay, I'm committed to this person. I mean, when we were five, did we know we were going to be friends this long? Absolutely not. But look what God did. I mean, trusting the Lord too with people and bringing the right people. And I've found friends in church or found friends in work or school, and just depending on the season, whether it was college. I mean, where I really began to find like true community is actually when I got to college and was plugged into a church. And then, I mean, it's helpful that two of my brothers were in that community too. And um, but we really began to build like deep community and find different people who desired the same things, you know. And one of our favorite, one of my favorite verses um in that season is that God sets the lonely in family.

SPEAKER_04

And he Say that again.

SPEAKER_01

God sets the lonely in family. And I really believe that if you're just trying to pursue him, he's gonna put you around people that you need that are gonna cause you to grow, that are just fun because he loves fun. So just people you want to have fun with, he's gonna bring that to you.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And um, and then it goes into the other verse about he doesn't leave you as an orphan. You know, he will, if you're following him and you're like, God, I want friends, yeah, he is gonna put you in those places um to where you can build relationship. And it might not be easy and it's gonna be outside your comfort zone, and you're gonna have to learn how to be like okay with being uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Because a lot of building is pretty uncomfortable, whether it's friendships, families, communities, whatever, it's not easy.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um, but then I think when you learn, like, okay, I'm okay with being uncomfortable, I'm gonna throw myself out there and take a risk, you know. And I think human community is a risk. It's a risk that you have to be willing to take and be like, I'm gonna jump into this even without anybody knowing me, knowing how I think, who I am, where I've been, nothing. But I'm gonna jump in because I value this thing of people. And then that value gets put at the forefront of your thoughts, and you're like, okay, no matter the cost, you know.

SPEAKER_00

I have so many questions running through my mind, but um, on behalf of our community that is watching and listening to this. You talked about you started building community and working on things. Would you be able to help our listeners out there that have been longing to build a community? How should they start?

SPEAKER_01

I mean, I think you just take a risk. Do something you've never done before, whether it's showing up to a restaurant that you've never been to, or I mean, going to church if you've never like a new environment, or taking a risk on being intentional with somebody and be like, hey, I'm just gonna go up to this random person and ask them a question. You know, and just that risk that takes you outside of your comfort zone, but you never know what's on the other side of that. That could be your best friend for 15 years, you know, you just don't know. Like, or you invite somebody to something that you're doing. Hey, you want to go play pickleball over here, or hey, I'm gonna join this club. Would you wanna come with me? Like, you know, just Just people that you're around, whoever God's placed you around, take a risk with those people and see what happens.

SPEAKER_00

I know I remember there was a time I struggled making friends, and I remember that in my head, there's a circle of friends that I wanted to have, but also there were people that God already put around me, but I was maybe less interested in being intentional with them.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So what I hear you say is that work with what God has given you first and be intentional with that. And they have so much to give than you think.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Absolutely. I think that's the key. It's like, who's around you? And ask him a question. And then see what happens from there. You know, like one question is actually really powerful because it opens up an it's like an invitation to somebody's life. Like, hey, how are you? I mean, even that, you know, like, oh, I'm not doing great. This has happened today, yada, yada, yada. All of a sudden I'm opening up my life to somebody and they're getting an insight into who I am, what I'm doing right now, and that's just an invitation.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like that is for the extroverts. Um, you know, for introverts, you know, they're like, they don't want to talk to people. Do we have uh a fear of not being known? Like we don't want to be known. Are we afraid of like being vulnerable? Like in your opinion, what stops people from like engaging in community in your experience?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I mean, you know, I think it's hard because you have to open up and you have to be authentic. And um, I mean, I guess you don't have to be authentic. But I mean, it's hard to open up and it's hard to allow people to see you because it's a risk and there's so many things inside of you that you want to long to be known by, but like, what if they misunderstand you? You know, and then now you have to go deal with the emotions of being misunderstood. And that's hard. And there's so many like layers to what if they reject me? Yeah, what if they reject you and you're just longing to be just accepted by somebody, you know? And so there's so many layers to why it's difficult. Um, and I think that's where courage just comes right on in. And you're like, uh, even if I'm the quietest person in the room, I've got to build up some type of courage to just say hi to one person. You know, and and I think it can be hard, but God will help you too, you know. Like if you especially if you're following him, he's gonna help you give the right words, even if you don't know what to say to somebody or whatever, you know?

SPEAKER_00

You know Leslie Grando?

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

So Leslie, like she was here like a month ago in New York City, and she made a statement. She says, Some of you are new to me. I'm seeing you for the very first time.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm not afraid, I'm not worried that you guys are going to reject me at all. And she said, you know why? It's because I'm already accepted by God. And because God has already accepted me and I know who lives inside of me, there's no way you're going to reject me. So I think having a faith, or what's the word, a belief system that I'm already accepted by God. That means wherever that I go, actually I'm going to be accepted. It is not, I'm not depend- now, my acceptance is not dependent on how the other person treats me. It is the belief system of what I believe about myself. And I know growing up personally, I know the biggest fear that I had was being rejected. I was always afraid of what if someone rejects me. And one of my leaders helped me understand like, if they reject you, so what? And I'm like, oh shoot. What's the worst that can happen?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So hearing you speak about it, I'm thinking, I think so many people and friends that I know, I'm sure, because I struggled with this before.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You know, and every one of us is longing and wanting to belong somewhere, want to be a part of something, but we just don't know how.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And for you, you're saying, be intentional, be vulnerable, open up, you know, muster up a little bit of courage and talk to somebody. Ask someone for coffee, you know, do something.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But in all that you've said, I'm thinking in my ministry school training, this girl made a statement that was so powerful. She said that if you want a friend, you gotta be a friend. Up to today, I still think about that. I didn't know how to be that. I didn't know how to do that. So without me jumping all over, I'm just thinking to your back to the question of like, okay, I'm intentional now. Oh, I'm gonna ask this person how do I move from the initial part of engaging in a conversation to now making sure that it is not just me reaching out to people, but actually I'm establishing something healthy. Because it's not just community, as the word community, it is actually healthy community. I can have as many friends around me and as many people around me, but they're not healthy.

SPEAKER_01

One of my favorite stories, and this is with one of my closest, another one of my closest girlfriends, is that we had hung out all weekend long doing random things, like going to the pool, and it was summer, and we were just like, you know, going to eat, whatever. We had gone to church that night. And the whole weekend we had just done stuff together, which is totally one way of connecting with somebody, absolutely. Um, but by the end, I was a little ruffled and I was like, well, I mean, we've done all these things together, but I haven't heard one thing about how she was doing because we were just doing like things. And it was fun, don't get me wrong. But so I remember I that night I was just ruffled a little and I was like, man, I really want to know like what is going on inside of her. Like, what is she thinking about? What are like just simple things that don't even have to be that deep? But I was just like, like, how's work? You know, like those different things that I hadn't heard from her that weekend. And I remember like, I literally had to go pray because it was really hard for me at the time to confront. Like I was like, I don't know. I'm like, should I say anything? Whatever. And I prayed, and I just was like, I feel like the Lord was like, yeah, just talk to her, ask her, tell her how you've experienced her this week. And so I went to her that night and I was like, hey, we've hung out all week and it was amazing, but I don't know anything about you. And I just was like, next, like I set this precedent of like, I would love to know what's in your heart, what you're thinking about, all of these different things. And it was a really difficult conversation for me to have because it was uncomfortable. And um, and when she responded, she was like, you're totally right. And after that moment, it was like such a big breakthrough moment for our friendship because we took it from we're now doing stuff together to let's go a little deeper and let's hear about your thoughts of how life is going or your work or your community, whatever, you know. And so it doesn't always have to start with an intentional conversation because you could start by doing, you know, like just a mutual connection, find that thing that somebody loves and is like, hey, I'll do it with you. You know, I think that's great. Like if you love, I keep saying pickleball, but I'm like, if you love pickleball, and I don't necessarily play, but I'm willing to build a friendship, I'm gonna go play with you because that's a way to build friendship, right? And then you kind of just move. And it doesn't all happen overnight, but I think then it's just like navigating how the like the river flows of relationship, you know, it's it's it might start surface, and then you might be more intentional and it might go deeper and deeper. And then you have those friends that you look back and it's been 15 years and you've walked through every season of life somehow together, you know? And so I think having the hard conversation that I didn't even want to have has taken friendships for me into the next level where it's like, okay, I can feel like we're hitting a wall here in this friendship because we've exhausted all of our doing. And now what? Okay, let's get a little more intentional because we're gonna need to build off of this. And I think those hard conversations really they're growing moments for both of the people involved in the relationship because all of a sudden I'm having to be vulnerable and be like, I would love to know you, and she's having to be vulnerable to be open with me. And so I think hard conversations are really important or just just to build, you know.

SPEAKER_00

That's really good. What would I do if the person I reach out to doesn't respond the way I would have wanted them to do? How do I handle that?

SPEAKER_01

I mean, that's an interesting question. Because I think you have to make room for people to be themselves. And so if that person's response is not how you would have received it or wanted it, I think it's an invitation to go deeper with that person and be like, what do you mean by that? And ask the next question to see if you can pull understanding from their heart. Because if I'm responding to you and you're not giving me the response that I want, I'm actually in like not allowing you to be yourself. And that's a problem. And so I think so many times I can go into a conversation with an expectation of this is the way it should be.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But then there's no freedom for the person to be themselves. And so I've had to learn how to release control.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01

And not be like, you need to show me that this is what you're saying. And then I'm like, okay, well, I'm just gonna try to understand your perspective. And it doesn't have to be the same as mine. Um, but let's figure this out.

SPEAKER_00

No, it is good because my thinking was in school, we've all wanted to hang out with these so-called cool kids. We want to, like, you know, these are the kind of friends that I want. Oh, they got this. Oh, they'll be, I think I'll be great in there. And then no matter how much you tried, you were faced with the fact that maybe I don't think I am wanted there. Or maybe I don't think I fit them. And that's like a that's a tough pill to swallow.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Because then you don't know that brings two things. You question your identity, whether something is wrong with you, or something's wrong with them, then you come into a place of accusation and all that, or pointing fingers. Or it leaves like a mark on you to not wanting to try again because the previous experiences have told you that when you try to reach out, think people think things don't go the way you want them to go. So, my my question was around like how do I pick back myself? With the idea that actually I'm not gonna stop in pursuing connection, irrespective of the responses that I get.

SPEAKER_01

It's actually like sometimes God gives you the people you need, not necessarily the people you want. And I throw up sometimes, like I think I want this thing over here, but actually I don't need the thing I want. And I think that's like the story of my life in a lot of ways, not just relationally, but following God in faith, is like, I want this thing over here. And then I don't go that direction at all. I mean, for example, I thought I was gonna live in LA and I was like gung-ho on that. And God sends me to New York. Yeah. I didn't want to come here. I said I would never live here, right? But it was actually the thing I needed to be developed, and I could translate that probably into friendships as well. And even when I've when I was growing up, I'm like, I wanted to be friends with the cool kids and like, you know, be in the in crowd, and I never was. I was in all these other groups that were super random, but it's not, I didn't need to be there. And I saw that almost as a protection for myself because some of the things that I thought I needed to be in to be cool were totally not cool. So then God protected me from those things, which is beautiful. And so I don't know, I think it's hard to pick yourself back up after facing rejection. And I think what you said earlier about identity and knowing who you are and really fighting for that, I'm like, okay, if you've got nobody around you, start learning who you are in Christ. And that's gonna help you gain confidence and then be able to go out again.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And that acceptance over rejection thing, like, well, you can't reject me because I've been accepted. When you build those identity statements, and you know, people actually help you build your identity statements too, right? Like people can call you to how amazing you are, you know, and really build you up. And I've had so many people in my life who've come and seen the gold in me where I've seen nothing at all, where I haven't believed in myself in this area, and somebody calls and says, Hey, no, you're you can do this. And then all of a sudden I get the courage to be like, yeah, I can do that. Actually, I'm I thought I was incapable because I was insecure, and now all of a sudden I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_01

And so that's that factor of risk, you know. Again and again, I think risk is so important. And it's hard when you risk at first, you know. But I um, yeah, there's just I don't know, I think just constantly coming back. Okay, I'm loved, I'm chosen, God chose me before the foundation of the earth. I mean, those are the basic things to understand the identity of who you are, but you can always revisit those in every season. Whether I have 10 friends or none, I can revisit my identity, which is gonna help me gain confidence, and people are gonna share that as well with me if I'm around the right people.

SPEAKER_00

That's beautiful. Uh, we have a few minutes left. Okay. And uh here's my question to you. What is if you would share one story or testimony where you have you have or someone else has benefited fully of being in community, what would that be?

SPEAKER_01

Okay. This is one of my favorite stories maybe ever. It's absolutely hilarious. Okay. And it is the perfect picture of I think what life in community looks like. When I was in college, I had a group of about seven friends, and I had known some of them for years because we had come from the same hometown and moved to the same college. Um, and then my brothers were in the mix, whatever. And we were broke. We had no money. Like I'm talking, things were steep, you know, and we all had cars. Thank God we had a car. Sometimes you don't have a car, and that's a situation, too. And we had friends that didn't have cars, right? Um, and I remember I was driving to get groceries one day and my car breaks down. And I pull into this parking lot, and now I'm stuck. So I call my brother and I'm like, hey, my car broke down. I need you to come pick me up because I'm stranded and I have no money. So now we have to call somebody else to get us money to fix the car because we're, you know, I mean, I don't have it. I'm in college. And so my brother, on his way to pick me up, his car breaks up. And and we're like, oh no. Like, now what? Wow. Now, because we're down, we're down two cars. And we call our friend, and I kid you not, he comes to get us and he takes us to the car repair shop. And now we're all just like broke college kids, and like, what do we do next? You know, and so we figure out the car situation, and about a week later, the friend that picked up me and my brother from our cars breaking down, his car breaks down. So within a week, all of our cars are just breaking down and we're so broke, you know?

SPEAKER_00

The call breaking down crew.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, 100%, right? So, you know, I'm driving my brother to work because my car gets fixed, because somebody else in our community pays for my car to be fixed. And in that moment, I'm like, you know, I'm driving my brother to work, and and then we've got our other friend, we're trying to figure out his car situation. And there's it's a group of like seven people. I was just like reminded of acts where it says there's no need among them. And I think that that was one of my most foundational moments is that, like, okay, there's a group of seven people and we all have needs. But if somebody has the resources, they jump in to take care of that need. And I think that has been a pivotal thing for me when it comes to community. And really, the one of the my favorite testimonies, even though it's funny, I'm like, no, every person was taken care of in that in that week because people stepped in where I needed a ride to work. Now all of a sudden I've got the car. So I can take that person to work where my car didn't work before, but there's just these needs that were being fulfilled. And I saw that as such a picture of the body of Christ, but also just community and the benefit of it because now I'm not having to figure it out on my own, go maybe take a loan to get this thing fixed or whatever. You know, like I now have a group of people who I know are with me in the trenches, and now they're with me outside the trenches, or I mean, even if I'm still in the trenches, like they're there and everything will be okay. And there's a safety in that, right? And so I think that's one of my favorite stories of community and the example of it because it's so tangible.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But we're all taken care of. And I think that's the beauty of living in family is that everybody can be taken care of, and where there's a need, you jump in.

unknown

Yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_00

This is uh this topic is so vulnerable to so many people. Uh what you just shared right there is just beautiful. It's just a testimony of what happens when you do life with other people. But in my heart of hearts, I could really feel where someone else that's gonna be watching this episode and they're thinking, I would love that. I just don't know how to do that. Or I have tried that, it's not worked out for me. And sometimes what life experiences teach us are not actual truth. And I think in my heart of hearts, I cannot afford to have a thought about myself that God doesn't think about me. So any statements that start with, I cannot do this, or that's not me, or that's for the extroverts, that's not that's for church-going people, because there's a possibility that you're watching, you stumbled onto this episode and actually you don't even know what it looks like to have a relationship with God. And you're thinking, church people, they've got it together. Actually, to the contrary, even church people are still learning how to do life with other people. And in this is the invitation for you as a homework for anyone else that is listening. Try to ask someone for coffee, try to go and hang out with somebody, try to let in someone into your life stories. This is how I'm doing. One of the best statements and quotes uh one of my leaders said to me was that like community and trust is only built when you reach out for help.

SPEAKER_04

If you want to build a health community, if you want to build trust with people, learn to ask for help.

SPEAKER_00

When you do that, it humbles you that actually I don't guard it all together. And as soon as someone is able to extend their hand to help you, all of a sudden, connection is built. And you've been willing to do the same for others. With that said, I want to honor you, our listeners, and um the time you've spent uh on this episode listening to us and uh watching Bury talk about things. I feel like there's more to this subject than we've than we've covered. So in hope, we are hoping that it would be another time where we get to like even dive deeper into like the house and practical tools and how you handle ABCD. Uh, because there are communities that are like maybe they're unequally yoked. One person is a Christian, another person is not. And uh five of them are not Christians, uh, two of them are, three of them are Christians, and like, how do you still do life in all those moments? But that's why God created all of those things that it works. We cannot do community right unless it is empowered by God. That I have to say. God empowers healthy community. And without Him, there's no power, there's no way you're gonna be able to do it. And uh on that very note, I was wondering, is there any in just like 30 seconds, what would be the last remark you would leave with our community or with our people, with our audience that you love them to know about the subject of created to belong?

SPEAKER_01

It's a fight. It doesn't come easy. It's something that you choose in your heart to go after. And I think it's gonna take risks, it's gonna take courage, and in your heart of hearts, you're made to be with people. And no matter like if you've been hurt or these different things, there's gonna be hurdles in it. But if you desire it, you can have it.

SPEAKER_00

These are some of my takeaways that one of the things we've said that are so significant is like community is risk, but it's so rewarding.

SPEAKER_04

It's not easy to do life, but it's beautiful with people, and I'm thinking yeah, that's amazing, that's really brilliant. Uh, it is all about the value system, and uh this is where we want to end. Pray. Would you pray for our friends that are watching this?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that are listening to this. What would be your prayer towards them? We're just gonna be here to receive.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, I'll pray. Um, Jesus, thank you so much just for this conversation, Lord, where you've dwelled with us, spoken to us, spoke through us. We just pray for all of our listeners out there um that they would find just that friendship that that causes them to bloom, that one connection that would just cause that person's life to just be changed forever. And it only takes one, Lord. And so we just um yeah, we cover them with your blood and would you just give them wisdom, ideas, and strategies on how to connect with other people, that they would be initiators that take risks and stand in so much courage and just go after the things that they want. And so, Lord, we just bless them in Jesus' name, amen.

SPEAKER_04

Amen.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you so much for uh listening to this uh episode. This is the Everything Kingdom podcast, and uh, we can't wait to hear and see your feedback, comments, leave a like, share with a friend that needs to hear this. And until then, cheers.

SPEAKER_01

Cheers.