finances as a young adult, apartment updates, and work plans for the week

In this episode, I talk about handling my finances as a young adult, moving out of my old apartment and applying for new ones, and my temporary work living situation for the next three night shifts! Just processing everything out loud lol. Hope you enjoy! 

Transcript

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Hey guys, welcome back to Soft Chaos with Noah. I'm your host, Noah, and I was actually recording like at least 10 minutes on GarageBand and it wasn't recording. I don't know what is up with the HDMI connection, but it wasn't working like after testing it out many times. So I'm doing this on voice memos, and this works honestly just as fine like I hope it is for you guys, and it sounds um like the same as I do on Garage Band, but I usually record my podcast on Garage Band. I actually used to do podcast episodes on voice memos, and that would work too. So either way it's fine with me as long as you guys are hearing it clearly and nicely, and it is just music to your ears, even though this is not music. But um, yeah, I was literally on a really nice run. Um, I was gonna speak about my finances and which I will do in this episode. This episode is all about handling my finances, what my situation is, and then like apartment updates and work plans for the week. Um, but yeah, I was just like talking and realized that I didn't record once I played it back. Um, so there we are. Um, but anyways, I wanted to dive in on what my financial situation is as a young adult. Um I feel like a lot of people can relate, hopefully not, because this is a like this stresses me out so much, and I don't want you guys to be stressed out. Um, but I am in a lot of debt. Um, my bank account has reached or has gone to the negatives many times, and my current job does not make enough to pay for all of my minimum payments or um my monthly payments for like my credit cards and stuff. Um sometimes I run out of money and I can't even buy groceries because all my money literally goes to my rent. Um in the town where I live, the rent is crazy expensive and it just it takes all my money. So um, you know, I've been thinking of ways to increase my income, and it's still a little bit hard to kind of fit that into my schedule, especially with um like school coming up, hopefully if I get accepted, um keeping you guys updated on that for sure. But I am not making enough money. Um, I've tried applying to a lot of jobs um that would kind of like fit my like what I want in a job and also like make a good income. Unfortunately, I have not heard back from a lot of the companies that I applied for, so we're just gonna stick it out with my current job and pick up overtime here and there. Um today I worked last night, so I slept in a little bit till like three o'clock, and then I got a call from one of the um debt consolidation programs that I've been working with for like a few days now, just kind of them asking me questions how my situation is and everything like that, and um it was kind of perfect timing because I was gonna work on that anyways today. It is getting a little late though, it's like 6 p.m. and I still have to run out to get some groceries and just kind of like drive because it's really nice outside and the sun is still out, which is awesome, um, and it makes my mood way better. But um, yeah, I just I am really struggling right now financially and it takes up a lot of my mind. I think about it every day. Um, even you know, when I go to sleep and when I wake up in the morning, you know, just kind of overthinking and thinking, excuse me, um thinking like of you know, will I have enough money to even just buy groceries to make a meal? Um, or do I have to live off on uh microwave meals or like box meals, which would usually be mac and cheese, like of course no one wants to eat that forever, um, but luckily in my favor mac and cheese is one of my favorite foods, so I think we're good there, but still I would like to have a nice, well-prepared meal um that I can cook at home, or even just like taking out sushi, you know, once in a while. I know sushi is expensive as well, but um, you know, I just really want to be financially stable and I am not at that point yet. So um I don't know if you guys are struggling with finances um with everything, like all gas prices and just like little things, even milk or eggs. It just the prices are increasing, so it's really sucks, um, especially as a young adult too. And also I feel like as my job as like a nurse, it's kind of expected. Oh, nurses make a lot of money, but I feel like that's only if you find a good like hospital job or a good like leadership job as a nurse manager, case manager, um, you know, or anything like that, or like um even when you become a nurse practitioner, um, which is one of my goals. So, you know, hopefully, I mean I'm not in it for to increase income, of course, but like a little bit, let's be honest, you know, it is it does make good money, and I will be able to pay off some loans and everything like that. Um, once I do reach that, um, like once I do get that degree and pass my wards, but we are not there yet. Um, we are still working as a registered nurse, and um, unfortunately, my income um is really not like the best for nurses. Um, my job is outpatient, um, and it's like more of that soft nursing life, if you will, um, because it's not in the hospital, so you know, a little bit less stressful, I want to say, um, just because the hospital, it's a little bit more acute patients and a little bit more needed for medical attention, but I still work in a place where the kids they still need medical attention, of course, but it's not as severe as in the hospital, so that's kind of why the hospital pays more. Um, mine is kind of like an outpatient, even though we are 24 hours, but still, I am just not doing well financially. Um, it like I said, it does take up a lot of my mind, and I'm stressing about it each and every day, every hour, every second. Um, uh, even when I go out too, like socially, it's hard because sometimes I have to say no, or sometimes, you know, I am nervous to hang out with my friends because I feel like I'm scared to run out of money, and then I can't like buy whatever I need to buy, and then everyone else is buying their own thing, and like I don't know, if we go to a store and they're like shopping and they buy stuff, it's like oh I can't because I don't have enough money. Um, but yeah, I'm just I'm still I never really like I feel like I haven't grown up um like in high school especially on how to handle my finances. We did have personal finance classes, but yeah, I mean personally I wasn't making money back then, so um that didn't really matter to me. But now thinking about it, I feel like in high school, even starting in middle school, I should have like kind of tapped into more of how finances work, but it's okay because I was a kid back then and I was still loving living under my parents' money, like they would buy me stuff because I didn't have a job, um, and I was still in like high school, middle school, so um, but yeah, that's just been really something that I like kind of want to work on, but I feel like I am not putting in too much effort yet. Um, obviously because I'm busy with work, school, and then of course the finances, so I don't have time yet to well I mean I will make time, but like I I I just am not like I feel like I'm not making that time to fit in, like settle down, sit down with my finances. Um, I have listed them out and things like that and kind of added and calculated the totals. Um, but still it's just like hard because I am navigating it all alone. Um, which I do recommend guys getting like an accountant, a financial advisor, um, if you can, because I'm still kind of like, you know, that is an option for me, and I'm definitely open to it. Um, I just I am not putting in the time for that, which I should. Um, but yeah, most of my income, I gotta be honest, goes to my rent. My rent in my town is expensive and it really is annoying. And um, but in two months I am hoping to move like down where my work site is, and it's way cheaper there. Um, I just actually applied to apart an apartment down there near my worksite, and the rent is just a huge difference. It's like a thousand dollars off, um, a thousand dollars difference from what I'm paying now, and that would really, really help me. Um, I guess we're getting into the apartment updates that I wanted to talk about as well. Um, my family lives in their own apartment, and I live in my own apartment, and we're about like 25-30 minutes away from each other. So if I move to where my work site is, I'm gonna be like an hour or 15 away from them. And I was talking to my grandma. My grandma, she's awesome, grandparents, they're awesome. Um, I'm very close with them, and I can tell that they really care about me and we love each other so much. Um, when my grandma, usually my my grandma and my mom, they you know, try to figure out, like, um, you know, growing up I was like one of the well, I only have a sister, but um I was like the firstborn and um you know I also went through some stuff that affected them, and so I like they've like I can just see that they really care. Um so they do everything that they can to take care of me, and I'm really, really grateful for that. Um but my grandma and I were kind of talking, and she was suggesting actually her, my grandpa, and my mom were suggesting, hey, why don't you just move in with us? Um, so that you don't I mean you can pay half the rent, which is a lot cheaper, and you'll have like your own kitchen, you'll even have your own bathroom because um one of the bedrooms, and it's actually where my mom sleeps, um, but she's like really kind and willing to move to another bedroom um so that I can have my own bathroom because the bathroom is in her room, so that would be like a private bath, and that's I mean, you if you look at it, that is a really great deal. Um the thing is though, the thing is guys, I um I can be triggered a lot by my mom and my grandparents. Um growing up in that environment definitely took a toll on my mental health just because I felt like I was invalidated a lot and um just like you know when you have like your mom issues, like even her presence can just trigger you and like bring back bad memories and things like that, and just like a lot of weird feelings and uncomfortable feelings. So um not to be too too specific, but like overall, my mom and I don't really have the best relationship. Um, and it's just kind of like a back and forth thing, you know. Sometimes we're always arguing, or sometimes we like I don't know, we just like don't have the best relationship. Um, and that was my whole life. Um it's definitely improved in some ways, and when I go to therapy, I don't actually I actually don't have a therapist right now, and I haven't had a therapist in months, and I should probably get on that. But um I uh what was I saying? No, actually though, what was I saying guys? Oh my gosh. Bro, I can't I cannot. I have really bad I've been having really bad memory issues the past few weeks. Actually, no no no the past few months probably the past year. Um I don't I don't eat a lot of um vegetables, so my brain is just not where it needs to be. My body is not where it needs to be. Anyways, um back to it. Um so my grandma and I were talking, and yeah, um I just like I don't like the feeling of um going back to my family's apartment and like being like living that living there every day in that environment. Yes, I will be out for work and stuff, and um the thing is too from that apartment to my worksite, so from my family's apartment to my worksite, my new worksite, it's also about an hour, so it's like less um like cutting out the 15 minutes from my place to the worksite, but my family's place to the worksite is still far, it's an hour. I even just like testing that out today, um, I had to pick up shifts for my old worksite because like the March schedule was covered when they hired me, so I was like, you know, I need to get my hours somehow. So they let me work back at my old site, and I'll probably still pick up overtime there. Um, and like it'll also give me a break because we don't have a lot of patients, but um, yeah, even the drive from my old work site to my current apartment is just exhausting. Um, I would much rather like my sleepiness and my crash out, my crashes, my caffeine crashes basically, um, I get so tired around like 1 to 3 a.m. sometimes 1 to 4 a.m. Um, like that range, so I can get sleepy from like from uh at 2 or at 3 at 4. Um and like I literally during those hours, I'm like, I want to be in my bed so badly right now. Like I can't do this anymore. I need to clock out, like I need to tell my manager I can't do this, but obviously that's not how it works. Um but the feeling or like the like knowing the fact that my apartment is like an hour away from work, um, you know, it just it's it's so like taxing. Um also like gas-wise too. You run out of gas and then you have to deal with traffic because it's during rush hour. Um and honestly, I do, I want to say I do buy coffee, like a small coffee, on my like literally just to stay awake for the drive. Um, if you guys didn't know, I don't yeah, I I haven't really shared much because we just got started, like the podcast. But um I when I'm super tired and I really I feel like even if I get like eight hours of sleep, eight to nine, um, or even three hours of sleep, I am still tired. So yeah, something's up with that. Um I also don't eat well, um, like healthy stuff, and then I don't really work out. Um, like I get super exhausted going up the stairs, or like even just walking from like a small short distance, like even a mile, would exhaust me. Um, but yeah, so you know, from my work site to my current apartment, that is just exhausting already. And I can really from the past like seven months that I've been working at that site, um, the hour drive is just way too much, and I would much rather have a closer place that I can just quickly settle down and decompose. Wait, decompose, oh my gosh, decompress and um just like you know, even like get to my bed earlier. So sorry, my neighbors just got here um. And that's another thing, guys. Like I um I really need a place where like I can just be a little bit loud. Like I don't have to be off, you know, I'm in my own place, right? And I have I have the freedom, of course, to speak at whatever volume I want. Not screaming, of course, but um you know, I can play my music, I can walk around, but I do still get like like I'm still watching or um being careful of how like how um I guess how I walk because there are a lot of creaky floors or creaky spots in my apartment, and um it I'm sure it definitely wakes or not wakes, but like they can hear it downstairs. Um I have a young man living downstairs and he totally understands when my dog sleeps over, he barks a lot, so my neighbor thankfully understands. Um and yeah, so I like when my when I go to my family's apartment, they live in like a complex where there's an elevator, and like when I'm inside their apartment um unit, it just feels a little bit more like I can talk louder, I can turn up the TV volume, I can walk um wherever, and my dog can run around because I feel like it's like the floors are a little bit thicker and the walls are a little bit thicker, so you can't really like hear too too much. Um when I take a shower though, or when I'm in the bathroom, I can still hear someone upstairs if they're taking a shower, but it's like not that like um loud or like noticeable. Um, so I would much rather you know be at that place. But besides the point though, I would really like a spot closer to work so that I just have to drive a short distance, I can go to bed early and get as much sleep as possible, and then I don't have to worry about waking up like two hours early for work just because I have to drive that far. So um my lease does end in May, end of May, and I recently applied to an apartment that is um kind of like my family's apartment with the elevator. Actually, you know, I didn't even tour it, um, but I was like so desperate. This is the thing, guys. See, I I am impulsive. Um, but of course I thought about this and did my pros and cons and really just you know settle down, you know. Hey Noah, you gotta you gotta figure out is this really, you know, an apartment that you may or may not want. So um yeah, I applied to it a couple or last week actually, and then the leasing agent reached out today, like, hey, you just gotta upload some extra documents and boom boom boom, pay the reserving fee, reservation fee. And I did that, and now my application is being sent over to management so that they can review. Um, but you know, actually tying in with the finances, I am late on a lot of payments, and sometimes I skip a month and they're just like calling me like crazy, and um like it's all about hey, you're late on this payment, try to make a payment, or else you won't be able to use your card. And I'm just like, yeah, uh, I'll get to it. Um, so with that, obviously my credit score um is pretty bad, not gonna lie. Um, just being transparent with you guys, and um that definitely affects my approval or um declination, declined uh status of the apartment application. So I'm not sure how this one will go. Um, but you know, if I need a cosigner, I need a cosigner, and for this apartment that I'm in, my mom was. co-signer and um yeah also uh I hate to say this I'm gonna be late again with April rent um and my property manager didn't really say much because last rent girl guys I was late I was probably like I was like yes I am going to pay it when I get my paycheck um and I think definitely hopefully this week or like next week I would really like to pick up some overtime at least like an eight hour shift with incentive of course um hopefully like near that work site because I just I really need it for rent um this month and I don't wanna like I'm gonna be late again like I know that for a fact but I don't know if it's gonna be enough so this is the thing like see I'm stressing out about all these payments and even seeing if my like I can't really tell if my paycheck will be enough because it varies every paycheck um with the income taxes and like the um benefits and things like that um the PTO and all that stuff so um yeah it's just like I I really don't know what I like what I will make. Of course I have an estimate but it's just like I really don't know. Excuse me. Um but yeah I am hoping to move well let me get this application approved first and I mean if I don't I'm gonna have to ask my mom and um I'm sure she'll be fine with that but uh it's just like you know it's just like another responsibility to have you know um like paying for potentially paying for your daughter's like rent in which she already has a job and you know is supposed to be paying for her own rent um so I'm just like girl I'm sorry to put you in that position um but I mean for the yeah actually since I've moved here I have been paying my own rent um did I need to ask my mom just for one rent um payment for like a couple hundred bucks yes um but then moving forward I have paid my rent um now the thing is guys I have a really big car payment um and um I've had the car for two years um is it two years or three years I think two years and it's over 40 42000 miles now um that's a lot of traveling a lot of gas um basically it's overused in a way um at least that's what my mom says I think it's overused too because I just travel so much I love my therapeutic drives and my top down my sunroof out um but your girl needs to go places um oh the places you'll go and um yeah so the car payment I always I pretty much for the most part I want to do say I want to say I am late on those payments just because it's like if I'm paying my paycheck all to rent it's like where is where is the car payment money um and then again you know then I don't have money for groceries I don't have money for like my own pleasure like treating myself kind of thing and yeah it just sucks because everything is going to rent rent is expensive but I am very grateful that I found an apartment near my new work site that is definitely way cheaper um it's just gonna be far from my family which is um actually what I want to circle back to um I don't know yeah I already talked about that but my grandma going back to the beginning my grandma and I called and um she was like suggesting as my mom and my grandpa were um they were like you know like you should think about moving back with us because you'll pay less rent and you'll have you know a kitchen I can cook you some home cooked meals as well and you'll have your own bathroom and um you'll see you know your dog all the time and um you know you don't have to pay like you know anything much besides rent and your food um and the pros probably the parking spot so I'm like that's a good deal not gonna lie that is a good deal but mentally I don't think I can do that. Um love my family but I think I you know there is just so much that I can handle um when I'm with them like me moving out on my own um I definitely have seen like a drastic change in my mental health and just my the way I've been like perceiving things um being very much more grateful for my family because I don't get to see them every day um or just like communicating better and really taking care of myself more you know I'm doing I actually have not done like a face mask or like eye patches or anything like that like a chill out shower and treating myself at night and reading and you know there's quiet um you know I haven't you know I haven't had really the chance to do that well I did have the chance but like I never really pushed through that um when I was living with my family so um definitely a big change um between living with my family versus me living on my own. So that's kind of why I moved out and that's why I am favoring more towards moving out on my own and moving to my work site and um potentially if I get accepted closer to the school which are in-person classes. So you know it's a better deal and I see way more pros towards moving to the work site area versus um staying with my family um although the family like staying with the family in their apartment also is a huge money saver and like I get to see my dog every day and my you know I'd be with my family um as they're getting older so really just a tough situation but I think it really depends on if I get accepted to this school and if my rental application to the new apartment gets approved. So we're just working with a lot of things I have definitely though started packing up some stuff in moving bags um just kind of cleaning up the apartment already and starting to put things that I don't really use anymore into those bags and um just kind of prepping because I don't want to save it to the last minute um my mom suggested that she's like yeah definitely start to pack now um even though I I mean I have a lot of stuff like I can definitely fit all of that into a couple bags maybe more four or five bags and we'll be good I just have a lot of furniture um which isn't too too bad but I do have a lot of stuff um so I just wanted to touch briefly on that um I know I was speaking a lot about my finances and apartment situations um but thank you for so much for listening I do also want to touch base on another like financially affected affected like situation and that is my work week this week um so I'm I worked last night I worked the whole weekend like Friday Saturday Sunday I'm off tonight which is Monday and then I'm working the next three nights Tuesday Wednesday Thursday and then I'm off for five days um unless they like unless they have a call out and they offer like hey do you are you available to work tonight I might you know take that up but five days is really a lot um to decompress although I am losing hours like I don't need that much time and then I get like if I have a lot of time off I am not motivated to go back to work um so it's just like you know do I really need five days you know I can you know if they if someone calls out I I may may um may take that offer um so I um but going back to the finances in connection with work um this is the thing guys okay this is the thing and this is gonna sound so bad and like oh my gosh Noah is so desperate right now and such like literally just file for bankruptcy girl like literally just do that at this point because you're really really drowning um but yeah again this is gonna sound really bad and like oh my gosh like you're really you're really going through it um I so again I work the next three nights the problem is I do not have enough money to book a hotel or an Airbnb. Um also it's like really really tough because I work night shift so it's like oh I'm just paying for like if I pay for two nights but I'm working three and they don't like they won't allow a late checkout on the third day and I'm working that night it's like hard because if I check out at like 11am I need a sleep for sure the next six hours or so before going into my 7 p.m to 7am shift so would I just rather get three nights and that's tough because it's financially like not smart um so it's been hard especially with night shift um to find like places that will like kind of have like have a late checkout for me and or and an early check-in so I haven't been able to find that. Airbnb wise also have been messaging different hosts and trying to see if I could get a late checkout early check-in um the previous Airbnb that I slept at um it was only for like day shifters which was amazing great stay um but for some reason she is not um hosting that place like it's not it's on the website for Airbnb but it's not um like I can't book anymore so um I don't know if she's like cleaning up or taking a break or something but either way I that that was a really good Airbnb like I just had to do day shift uh day stays and that would have been really nice but um and it was pretty affordable but since that's not available anymore Airbnb wise I have been messaging hosts like hey can I just have an early check-in late checkout um and most of them actually all of them said no so that is out of the question now you're thinking Noah so what's your what's the next option? What are what other options are there? Um I you know actually there are a couple more options um and I will get to the one that I picked so you guys know that from my current apartment to my new work site I am about an hour 30 away um let me talk about this first an hour 30 I leave like what 4 30 dude nah or I leave like 5 p.m during rush hour nah um but I have had to do that um if I was working like straight or like one day one night and um so yeah I I would have to travel an hour 30 to the work site and then since I'm doing three straight nights after like and the thing is I don't get out of work till like almost eight o'clock because we have so many kids and I have to take all their vital signs and they don't wake up till probably like like they don't come to my office with a vitals machine and everything till like 6 15 girl I want to get out at 7 um you know and I understand you know you can't do all of that in like 45 minutes because there's so many of them but then wake them up early come on like let me like wake them up at 545 if you have to because I just I I can't because um some people live far and I I would like to get out at exactly 7 or like 710 the latest and beat the traffic. So um I know it's not like you can't accommodate every worker um you know no matter how far they live or wherever they live or whatever situation they have. So you know you gotta be fair. But um yeah I don't get out till like eight so if I leave that work site and go back to my current apartment that's another hour 30 plus the traffic. So usually what I have been doing is staying at a local coffee shop till like literally 9 9 30 sometimes sometimes even 10 doing whatever work I do on my computer and once I get to school once I start school again um I'll be able to keep myself busy and stuff but for the meantime I have just been going on my computer um like just catching up on emails like refreshing my email like all the time even though I don't have much to work on on my computer. So I'm like there at the coffee shop and like just drinking my coffee waiting for time to pass and like being super tired. So yeah I don't leave that area till like late like like 9 30 10 and then I don't get home till like 10 11 and that's like you know those are much needed hours of sleep and then I have to wake up again oops sorry and then I have to wake up again at like what 3 30 travel back there an hour 30 and then next morning I come back an hour thirty and then next night I go back there an hour thirty and then finally the last morning the last night shift I of the week I come back an hour thirty I can take as long as I need and don't have to worry about waking up later. So that was one of the options um that would take a toll on my gas um and the mileage and also on just my body you know make me really tired um and I would probably depend on getting a coffee again. So that's one option that I said no no thank you ma'am um the other option don't worry there's two more the last option I have picked um the next option I was like should I just stay with my family um because it is an hour away but still I am not like I really just can't do this hour this hour drive anymore like yeah I'm used to it but um I like I mean the hour drive from my current worksite um or my old worksite to my current apartment is like not bad because I've been used to it for the past six months but it's just still so tiring um weekends is fine though I would you know totally like I'm totally okay with working the weekends and like driving on the weekends um and you know just being fine with that but um you're a girl girl I I I can't do the hour drive especially knowing that it's a little bit farther than my current worksite so I just that's a no no um would I see my dog yes of course because I love my dog so much um but again it's like the hour drive um and to it's to my new workside um if I stayed at my family and then was working at my old worksite that'd be okay um you know I'd still get to leave like at 6 instead of like 530 and still make it in on time still get coffee and stuff but just you know now I'm at my new worksite I know it's confusing now I'm at my new worksite and it's a little bit farther away so um you know just thinking about that it's farther and that's a no no so this is what I ended up picking guys this is gonna sound so like oh my gosh she is actually insane how is she gonna get through that um yeah okay here we go guys um I oh jeez um and this is something I have done before but I haven't done this one two days straight I guess three days straight but like two days because I'm working tomorrow night I'll be off in the morning all day and then working that night off in the morning all day then working that night and then I can go home so let me just get down to it I have decided to sleep in my car at a rest stop for two days yeah like I said two days so tomorrow I would drive from my current apartment to my new work site and then um go to a rest stop near the area sleep in there for how many hours and you know there would be restaurants there so I can eat lunch and use the bathroom and stuff and get breakfast whatever and then I would go to work again then the next day same thing go to the rest stop sleep and then go to work and then after the last night I can go home um yeah not my not my first choice guys not my first choice but in the back of my mind I'm like I don't have enough money for a hotel I don't have enough money for an Airbnb I am not like I I don't want to stay with my family because it's the distance is still too far um and I'm already so tired working three in a row actually you know I am usually like good about working three nights in a row but this weekend I just did not get enough sleep um so um but yeah I like I mentioned I have done this before I have done this one night um I think it was like last year or something and um I like yeah I was just too tired and then I had to sleep at a rest stop for like the whole like overnight and um I like that was fine but I also did not have enough money for like food which is crazy um so I couldn't really eat anything and all I had was like water and some granola bars so um but I think we're better equipped this time. Um so the reason why I chose this was less expensive for sure. I bought on Amazon just a few hours ago some like shades for my car so that I can put it all around my windows and have privacy. And then I'll bring my blanket and pillow of course so it's like sleeping over my car like camping in my car um I picked this because it would save me the most money um physically wise and like I guess um whatchamacallit what's the word for it like financially wise it's great um ideally though not the best sleeping situation that you want to have um especially after working a 12 hour shift you want to be in like a comfy bed and have like a bathroom ready and be also like have space to change. You know what though? I'm gonna be honest um I am still considering like doing the driving back and forth or like even just kind of like being like you know I don't care anymore let me just book a place where it's comfy and I can like relax and not be groggy and like annoyed and irritated for my whole shift or like when I'm going home. Um so that's still an option like tonight I just gotta decide fast. Um but I mean the car option it's financially great um and that will save me you know a lot I would have money for the week I would have money for groceries if needed um I just you know ideally that's not how I want to go about it but it's kind of like you know like pros and cons like the best option financially of course um but I can't risk that right now if I don't have enough money for anything um so that's that fam. I will definitely update you guys on how it goes um if I remember but I know it just like when I say it out loud it just sounds bad or like when I think about it it just sounds bad because it's like girl you're a nurse you're supposed to be making like good money kind of um and now that you don't have money you can't even like get yourself a nice place to stay like you can't even get a hotel or like an Airbnb to stay. So yeah just stressing a lot about that um but the rest of the night tonight I'm just gonna really relax and do like laundry and s move more things and like pack them. And then I was supposed to go grocery shopping like 30 minutes ago but um honestly I'm not feeling it right now. I think I'll just get like food and or whatever. Um I think tomorrow morning though I don't know what tomorrow morning the weather is I think it's raining actually um actually oh not too bad um it's gonna be nice and warm tomorrow um so I'll probably do like a little early grocery run tomorrow because I don't feel like going out anymore. Um I just don't know what to eat for dinner. But I don't have I don't have um really any food in my fridge. I kind of ate dinner though I had a sandwich and chips but you see guys this is my brain I am just like going all over the place. I apologize but um yeah I'll I'll definitely still be like awake for the rest of the evening to just like really decide on what I'm gonna do tomorrow because I don't want to wake up and like decide right then and there of what I'm feeling you know in the in the morning um I kind of have to like decide now so but the car thing it's you know it's doable I can definitely get through it um but yeah just like I don't know mentally and physically that's not what I want for myself um but financially I kind of have to do what I have to do but I will see um this is a longer episode than usual but um as uh you know as long as it's under an hour I'm like totally fine I just can't believe I talked this long um but yeah I just had so much to say today so anyways guys thank you so much for listening to this podcast episode and I will talk to you guys in my next one have a good day night afternoon whatever y'all just keep doing what you're doing and you're doing awesome alright bye guys