car camping pt 2, work frustrations, and night shift

In this episode, I talk about sleeping in my car again for work, apartment and worksite dilemmas, and prepping for night shift tonight and the next three nights! Enjoy :) 

Transcript

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Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Soft Chaos with Noah. I am your host Noah and today's episode, by the way, if you're new here, I am Noah, just a young adult girl, girly pop, and I work as a nurse and I'm also applying to grad schools and things like that. And you know, I'm someone who has a little bit of a financial uh struggle. I'm working paycheck to paycheck, which I feel like most of us are. If you aren't, that's awesome. Love that for you. If you are, um, I totally get it. It's a huge, huge issue right now. Um, keeping up with all these finances and you know, gas prices are going up. I literally saw, I think it was two days ago, I saw um I was passing by a gas station and I was like four dollars and twelve cents for a gallon. I have never seen a gas price that high um ever. And um, I think the highest I've seen was like $3.95, and that's even high, but up to $4. Guys, I can't, I can't, I can't. Um, so yeah, but I the that was actually gonna um kind of relate to what I'm gonna do again this week. So if you guys listened to my last episode, I did sleep in my car. Um, it was only for like one day though, thank goodness. And also the great thing about working night shift is that you can literally just park in a parking lot and like a busy one, I guess, and just kind of like sleep there for a few hours because the stores are like open all day. So if this was an overnight situation where I would have to sleep like overnight, then that would be like a little bit of a struggle, but since I'm like kind of out in the open, you know, and um like you know, it's not really suspicious that I'm sleeping in my car, like in a busy parking lot where the stores are open, it's just like it's not that sus. So um glad my mind is settled on that. But um, yeah, so like I said, I slept in my car last week, and that was because of work. Um basically what happened, I tried sleeping at work, um, like in our little staff lounge area, and my manager, she was like, I'm sorry, girl, we need this space, like this is the staff lounge, like I thought you were only gonna sleep here for like a few hours before your shift, and there's like miss some misunderstanding, so you gotta go. And I was like, dang. Um, it was really nice there, but I'm also thinking, like, who wants to sleep at work? You know, it's like, yeah, you know, you can rest and everything like that. Sometimes it's a good thing for me, sometimes it's not, because it's like I can sleep as much as I want and then go straight downstairs like five minutes before my shift. But um, you know, it wasn't even that comfortable because I had to like sleep on the floor. Basically, there's no beds or anything like that, cots. Um, so I'm like, okay, whatever. So car it is, and I'm really, really glad I bought that uh whatchamacallit, those car shades, and it fit perfectly. So I was able to sleep in my car for like on and off two hours, three hours. It was really hot that day, so I had to plug in my little portable fan, and that wasn't enough, so I had to turn my car on like temporarily for the air conditioning. Um, and I didn't want to waste gas or anything like that, so yeah, we were we were able to get through that, but um, but yeah, now we're back here. We are back in the same position because um I don't have money and I'm broke and I'm negative. Um and this is this is what it's come to be guys. I think obviously a lot of my um income is going towards my rent, which is expensive, crazy expensive. Um, so I'm paying to be transparent, I'm paying $2,400 about um here at my current apartment. And I am well I didn't sign the lease yet, but I have kind of settled, semi-settled on this other apartment um near my work site, which is like a thousand five hundred, and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm sold, like that is way better. There's actually an elevator, so like it's like in a building, a common building, so I don't feel too too alone, if you know what I mean. Um I just like the apartment that I'm living in now, it's like a house setting, and then there's like it's divided into like four different like parts of the house. Like it's a big house, right? Um, if you guys know what I mean, it's like a little village area, but it's kind of like it's not like a complex where it's uh many floors and then there's elevators and you know the leasing office is like right downstairs and you know things like that. Like there's yeah, it's just like it's not like apartment luxury living, I guess you could say that. Um, so I never really was a fan of it anyway, but I really loved like I really liked living here. It just caused me so much stress with the um rent payment. Um and yeah, so two more months to pay for the rent payment for April and May, and then I plan to move out May, like end of May. So, um, but yeah, that's that. Um I totally forgot where I was going. Oh, but yeah, most of my income is apartment and then most of my um well yeah, most of my income is apartment wise and then car wise. And you know what? Why don't you add a little bit of the credit cards and loans in there too? Because and school, um, because it is just it's crazy expensive. I think I really need to tap in and work on the car stuff, like trading it in or something like that. But my dilemma is I got into an accident, like not two times, but like I hit a mailbox so that made some damage on my right mirror, and then I collided with another car so that made like a dent on the passenger side. So we kind of fixed that up this year. It was like a thousand bucks, and I'm like, oh, so if I trade in that car or this car, like would that have really just been for nothing? So I'm like kind of in a I'm kind of in a dilemma here. Um so I you know I'm really just trying to figure out should I just lower my try to lower my monthly car payment or like just trade it in and um just you know think that thousand dollars didn't even matter. So um yeah, really big of a dilemma. But anyways, going back to the car camping, I am doing it again this week because your girl is broke and I can't afford a hotel, even an Airbnb right now. So the thing is guys, sorry, I keep looking at my phone. Um, my dog just got a haircut and my mom is picking him up, so um, and then also I like getting these emails from work, and I'm like, bro. So I will touch on that though, but yeah, we're doing it again. I looked up the weather this week, it's not gonna be too too bad, thank goodness. So I think I'm good with just resting in my car with like okay weather, like not too hot. Um, but yeah, the car shades that I used last week they fit perfectly. I was able to nap like two, three hours. Um, I parked at a local Barnes in Noble, and you know, that's a great great thing. I think I already talked about this, but that's the great thing about working night shift is like during the day, if you were someone like me who sleeps in their car, um, or who has to, like, you know, for a few weeks or so, um, you can park in like a store or anything like that. And you can just like you're you're not gonna look suspicious because the stores are open, it's daytime, so obviously people are out shopping and things like that, hanging around. So if I sleep in my car, like honestly, no one will really know. Um, if it were overnight for sure, that'll be like that's gonna be anxiety provoking for me, because I'll be always on the lookout for like security guards or you know, just someone suspicious, um, because I'd be in like the parking lot by myself, um, you know, overnight. So definitely one of the perks, and I think you know, I'm also looking at it as a positive thing, um, sleeping in my car, and I'll be right near Barnes and Noble, so I'll be near a bunch of stores, so I'll be able to use the bathroom, I'll be able to, you know, do whatever it is, like computer work or read my book at Barnes and Noble, um, or just like go anywhere else. I think there's like a mall there too, but um, yeah, that's the um like it wasn't that bad last week. Obviously, I would have loved to have like a bed, you know, to go home to and you know, like a room and a kitchen and things like that and eat properly, but it is what it is. So next month, end of May, I will hopefully be moved in and like be way closer to my job. Now, um, so that's all the car camping thing. Honestly, though, this is like I feel like work has been the most stressful thing. Like, ever since I worked for this company, I started this um job last summer, and this has been the most stressful like work um what do you call it? Like, yeah, most stressful job I've ever had. And you know what's funny is that it's not even like the patient-wise or the job-wise, it's literally the leadership management, um, like them micromanaging us, pinpointing me, targeting me, you know, um, writing me up for silly little things. And I'm not gonna talk too too much about it, but that is where I have been experiencing the most stress besides financial stuff. Um, work is just like, I mean, like the coworkers, you know, it's really I mean, the coworkers are great, not gonna lie. Um, leadership-wise, not the greatest. I'm gonna have to say that. The old site was where I had a lot of problems with because um one of the like leadership um clinicians of like the whole site, the whole building, was just really on my back about everything. I'm like, girl, back off. Um, and then I had the nurse manager who was like a bully to me, and obviously I had to leave. Um, I don't know why I still pick up there. Like, I think I have three shifts coming up, and I always tell myself, you know, after these shifts, you're done. You're not going back to that place. But somehow I always find myself going back to there and picking up shifts for overtime. Um, I think definitely once I move closer to my new site, I will avoid going to the old site as much as possible. Um, just because like I just have a lot of like I feel like I'm bringing just a lot of issues to my new site where I wanted to like kind of start fresh and clean. Um, and it's just like like for example, today, guys, I got an email from my nurse manager at the old site saying that like I like kind of like talk to clients too much. Like I kind of, you know, have long like check-ins with them or like long therapy sessions. I am not a therapist, so obviously I am not gonna do that. I'm not gonna teach them any skills or anything like that. Um, so you know, this was something that I kind of not got in trouble for, but like they were like, you know, Noah, you gotta kind of set your boundaries and um leave it to the therapist to talk about all this stuff. And I kinda learned my lesson early on um when I started at the old site last year. Actually, no, yeah, last year, end of last year, and and then I brought it into my um in my mind when I did my new site, and I was like, you know, we're not doing therapy check-ins anymore. Like, literally just ask a few questions and then give them their meds and they can go to sleep. So, you know, I had to like even that email that I just got, um, and she CC'd my new nurse manager. I was like, oh my gosh, like this never ends, bro. Um, so yeah, again, like these are just some examples of where this has like been the most stressful company I've ever worked for, and it's not even patient-wise. Like, I mean, that says a lot, but at the same time, no workplace will be perfect, honestly. But like, I feel like you kind of know you're in a good spot work-wise if you have like a good team and good support behind your back. Um, so that's kind of how I'm dealing with it right now. I mean, I only started at this news site for a few months now, so I'm still kind of getting into it. The thing is, though, also another dilemma. Um, my parents were suggesting, you know, hey, why don't you find a town that's a little bit like closer to us and also close to your work site, like just kind of halfway point. There's really no halfway points, if I'm being honest. Like, I I I don't wanna I don't wanna drive again like 30, 40 minutes from work to home or home to work. Um I really just wanna be very close to my work this time, um, because it's just been it's just been annoying going back and forth like ever like an hour or so. So um that's another dilemma. I with all these frustrations coming up for me for work and you know, like that email that I told you guys about, I'm like, hmm, am I like am I gonna stick with this job? I like if you think about it, like all these things that are popping up, how and I hate to go that far, but it's like how how how long are you gonna last really? Um we're coming up in August, it's gonna be a year. So and I if I sign my lease for this current apartment, it's gonna be a year as well. So I'm also kind of like trying to look around the area to see if there are other jobs, like psychiatric nurse jobs. Um, but that's the thing, like I don't want to, you know, because I like this job. This is the longest job I've ever had, you guys. Um I'm also someone who job hops a lot, and growing up, like, especially as a nurse, like that's a big no-no, but like honestly, I don't care. Um, find whichever specialty, whichever facility, whichever population you want to work with, and like you'll be good to go. Um, the reasons why I love this job is because it is, I guess, considered a soft nursing job. If you don't know what soft nursing job is, it's like not basically nothing in the hospital, um, like anywhere but the hospital. Um, and nurses are known for, you know, working in the hospital. Like anybody in the healthcare field um is is working in the hospital. But um, this is kind of a soft nursing job because it's not at a hospital and it's a little bit like there's no IVs, there's no um like emergency admissions, or there are like emergency crises sometimes, but there's no like overnight admissions, overnight discharges, like no one's going through the ER and things like that. Um so yeah, it's like definitely less intense. Um but yeah, like I was saying, um, excuse me. Um, I I really don't know like where this will go, but I also guys I also have school that will also help me determine like will I really be moving or not to this area. Um one it is though really far from where I live now. So if I do continue in this job, I'm still gonna be very far, um, unless I move over there, which will be great. Um also that apartment at the new site is uh also close to my hopefully the grad school that I get into, and I will find that out this month. So I am really just basing everything on if I get into this school or not, um, because it will like it will solidify and validate yes, it's okay to move at this new apartment place because it's close to school. Um and I guess that's really the only benefit, but like at the same time if I do and I hope so I hope I plan to stick it out with this job and like not even just stick it out, but like continue being good at what I do um in this current job, even though it the paid really just does not pay well. Um, but I I mean I'd take that over just being like super stressed and like having a lot of back problems and you know like lifting patients or you know, just like nurse bullies around the hospital and you know, things like that, just bad experiences that I've had at the hospital, like I'd rather take the pay cut. Actually, no. I mean, obviously I wouldn't, but like in this situation, like if you're thinking mentally and what I've gone through mentally and what I still am going through mentally, I would definitely, you know, choose this. And I thankfully have been um, you know, enjoying it and lasting long in this job, so um that's that folks. But we're gonna see honestly, we're gonna see what what ends up for me with the school thing, so if I get in or not, but um, but yeah, like I said, um, so this week I am going to be car camping again. I have looked at videos and stuff of um like how to properly car camp, like what to get and things like that. People be car camping in like in the middle of nowhere, in the woods, sometimes in the cold during a snowstorm. I'm like, oh my gosh, these people are dedicated. They're really troopers out here, and I'm just in a Barnes and Noble parking lot and sleeping with a bunch of shades and my minifan. Like, but people, um, I know it's you know, sometimes people's lives almost that they have to like live in their car and you know, try to make ends meet, or that's just something that they do. Um, but props to them, props to them. They are really great, and I appreciate them putting out videos for all of us so that like we can figure out what to bring in our cars, you know, if we do sleep in our cars, which I will be this week. Um so yeah, I really like I just wanted to kind of get on here, record a pod for you guys, pod episode. Um, I'll definitely keep you guys updated though on um on my uh school stuff. Like I'm Abrah. I'm just really really like I don't know, y'all. I I'm I think I think like once I find out the status or like the decision of the school, I think that'll really relieve a lot of my stress because it's like oh my decisions are like kind of like solidifying now and they're kind of being narrowed down. So um, but yeah, I I think I think once we do that. So I hope I'm hoping to hear back this week or next week. Um But I don't know, we shall see guys. So I'm working again to end up end on this m and on eh, what end this episode. Um sorry guys if I talked a lot. Sorry if this guys this wasn't a really um heavy event. Episode. I do not know what I'm saying right now. I'm actually like so loopy right now and like not loopy, like I'm not on drugs, but I'm like kind of like all over the place because I just have so much on my mind. Um I still have to kind of pack up my apartment and being home I mean being away from my apartment for like the next three days um three to four days it's just like really tough because you know I also have not been here at home at my apartment for excuse me since like last Thurs no last Friday um or last Saturday just like it's been a while and I'm not a fan of staying with my family at their apartment um just because I love my own little space and I love you know just organizing and watching my own movies and having the TV loud and stuff like that and you know just chillaxin. Um so I've definitely missed my apartment and now I have to leave again for like the next four days, so um, but I definitely have to take out the garbage today. It has been sitting in my apartment, it's all bundled up and everything, but it's been sitting in my apartment for days, you guys, and I just I can't handle it anymore. Um, but yeah, I think this Saturday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, um, I'll I'll be at my apartment and I'll be able to kind of fix things up. Um, I know time is running out. Time time is running out a little bit quickly. Um, just because I have like two more months basically to wrap things everything, wrap things up and um tie all my loose ends. But the biggest thing is the money, bro. Like, I I don't even know if the next pay like this week's paycheck will cover my rent because I'm late on April's rent, and April's rent was due last Wednesday. Um, but they have like a five-day grace period, so it's technically due on Sunday, but yeah, I just don't think that's gonna be enough this Friday. And then I have to pay movement costs. So, that's that folks. Just a lot, just a really venting, venting episode. Um, thank you guys if you made it this far um for listening to my episodes. Um, hope this is you know somewhat entertaining or somewhat relatable. But um, I will talk to you guys in my next episode and I'll keep you guys updated on the school and then also how this week's car camping goes. Um, who knows, maybe I'll even record a pod live from the car. So we shall see guys. But um I think I'm going to honestly I don't know what to do. Like if I should sleep now and like chill out and then wake up like around 7 or 8 before leaving for work because I'm planning to leave around 9.30 and my shift starts at 11. Or should I like like should I clean a stuff up and like pack a little bit and then go to sleep a little bit later? I think actually I think I'm gonna do the first option, guys. I think I'm going to sleep now. Wake up around maybe six or seven, honestly. And just kind of do what I did last Saturday where I where I went to mass at eight o'clock. So I woke up around like 7 30 and then left for work around 9 30. So that's that folks. Um, but yeah, thank you guys so much for listening to this episode. Thank you if you made it this far. Um, I will talk to you guys in my next episode. Bye bye.