grad school update, Coachella weekend 1 recap, and getting personal about my anger issues

In this episode, I talk about my recent grad school acceptance, Coachella's iconic performances from weekend 1 , and talking about my anger issues (which is something I don't talk about ever to other people). Thank you for listening :) 

Transcript

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Hello, hello everybody. Welcome back to Soft Chaos with Noah. My name is Noah and yeah, it's good to be back. I don't know when I filmed my last or like recorded my last pod episode. I think it was like two weeks ago, but last week has been such a crazy week, a busy week. Um and yeah, but I wanted to start off with letting you guys know that I did get accepted into one of my grad schools that I applied for. So I've been accepted to two out of four, and yeah, it's a really great program. I like I it's definitely not my first choice, but now that I have a program that I like, I'm like, you know what? I'm relieved now and I have this program to back up on. Um just gotta figure out the finances, of course. You know, school is expensive, grad school is expensive, and everything's expensive now. Um, I was looking at, I think the gas that I the gas stations that I've passed by the past few days um have been like four dollars per gallon, and I'm like, oh my gosh, sometimes even four dollars and fifteen cents. I'm like, oh yeah. Um, and especially since I drive very far to work, it's like an hour 30. I I just like I'm using up all that gas. My mileage is terrible. I was even thinking of trading in my car, but now that I've paid for like half of the whole um like car I've been like doing monthly payments, I'm like, is it really worth it to trade it in? So might as well stick with the car that I have right now. The mileage is just really crazy though, because I do like my drives. I like therapeutic drives and they're like you know, they're so fun, and especially since it's April now, it's like springtime. I love rolling my windows down and I love opening my sunroof, and it's just it's just a vibe. Um, however, I did almost get into a car accident like maybe an hour ago, two hours ago. I was turning at a traffic light, I was turning left um on this road, and then across from me another guy was turning left or turning right, so into the same road as me. And guys, this guy was turning extremely sh extremely slow, and I'm like, oh my gosh, like I mean, usually when someone turns into the same road that I'm turning into when they're on the opposite side, I really like just prepare and like start turning because I'm like, y'all, like get on with it. Um, but now I've learned my lesson. I should be a little bit more patient when I turn left. Maybe I should wait for the other guy or girl, whoever, to turn, and then like when they're on the road, now I can turn. So I was at this traffic light turning into a road, and then opposite of me another person was turning into a road, and very slowly, like probably 10 miles, 10 miles per hour, and I get it that I've been on that other side many, many times, and it's like a really sharp turn because you don't have that much space to like go forward and then turn. It's a really like it's really close to the curb, so I'm like, girl, I understand, or guy, I understand, but you don't need to go that that slow. Um, unless they were like a first-time driver, then I get it. Or they look pretty old, so I'm like, you know, old people tend to drive slow or really fast. Like my grandpa, who has gotten actually I don't even know if he's officially gotten speed speeding tickets, but he has been pulled over by the cops like multiple times. Um, because my grandma and my grandpa they go to um they go to an area trying to keep it like like I don't want to say anything specific um on the internet or like in my podcast, so that's why I'm like being very very general. Um but my grandparents they play mahjong or mahjong, whatever these pronunciations are, and um they go to like their friend's house, and so it's like 35 minutes from their apartment, and usually like they get home or they drive home around 12 a.m. Sometimes even like one, two, or they stay overnight, like they come in during the morning. Um, either way, my grandpa drives extremely fast. Um, if we're on like a 25 mile per hour speed limit road, um yeah, he's gonna drive like 35 to 40. So I'm like, dude, calm down, slow down, and I know with like mm actually me too, um, not just the elderly, but like it's really getting harder to see at night, like driving at night. Everyone kind of is like really fast. Um, but just like everyone has their high beams on. I'm like, I mean, yeah, you you really can't see the road, but like if you're on the highway and you're like behind me, turn your high beams off. Like, I it just it's so bright and my eyes get really like strained and I think they get worse, honestly. When I look into those lights, I mean I don't look directly into the high beams, but it's like I'm always like when you drive, you have to look like at all mirrors, and like it's pretty it's pretty bad, and so I'm very concerned when my grandpa drives, especially at night, because of the high beams, and really just like any elderly person, but my grandma doesn't drive, so my grandpa's doing all the driving, and yeah. So, anyways, um oh going back to the traffic light thing, so yeah, I was turning and the guy was turning really, really slow. Um, and I guess like I miscalculated there was this white like sports car going straight, um, because there's two lanes on the opposite side, and the sports car was like going straight while I'm turning. So I maybe should have waited a little bit because I didn't know if this guy was going fast or like kind of medium um pace, and I was just like, you know, I'm gonna start turning. And then apparently this guy in the white car was driving pretty fast, and I did not expect the guy turning into the same road as me to go really, really slow. Like, not that not like yes, slow, but like not that slow, girl. Like, bro. Um, so yeah, the white car honked at me for like three seconds. Um, and I was like, yep, I probably shouldn't have turned. Um I do wanna mention like, you know, I've been really open with my mental health and everything on this podcast so far. Um I do have, I'm gonna be honest, I do have anger issues, and I hope that doesn't, you know, like like uh whatchamacallit? I hope that doesn't like say, like, present anything bad about me. Um I think anger is you know a human experience, it's an emotion and it's not bad. Um obviously the intensity is like, you know, it can be really intense sometimes for some people, um like me. And you know, I think anger is definitely a valid emotion. Um, but my anger gets really, really bad. So um I have been like to the point, I think anger is one of my biggest emotions that I struggle with. Um and like yeah, I just can't do the anger. Like, I still don't know how to deal with it. It's still a work in progress. I think um the reason why I brought up this emotion is because when I when the car honked at me, um I did pull up the middle finger. Um, and you know, even my road rage is just really, really bad. I think that's why the accident where I collided with this woman um because she was going like around me and like cutting me when I was going straight. Um, that was in like December of last year. And I just got really, really angry, and so I kept accelerating and like trying to dent this woman's car. Um, and yeah, I apologized. But honestly though, like with that, like she didn't even like signal and she was really far back, so I'm like, you know, and there's it was one lane. I don't know what she was doing on the right, so I had a pretty good, you know, case against that. Um but and then I got really angry with that. I'll go back to the white car situation, but I got really, really angry and I followed her into a parking lot, rolled my window down, took a video of her, um, and I just like just kind of like I don't know, was a little bit like condescending and like almost passive aggressive and just like it the definitely the anger showed in my uh voice and like the way I was talking to her. I was just like so angry at that moment and or in that moment, um, like I just feel really heated and like warm in my chest and my head. Those are like the common symptoms that I have for anger. Like when I get really angry, I can go from zero to a hundred and it's just like it's just not it. Like it's not fun, obviously. So the recent episode with the traffic, I mean, yeah, with the traffic light intersection kind of thing, with the guy going really, really slow, turning, um, when the white car was honking at me, like really long, um, I did like give up give the middle finger and um you know like I don't know, just like I my anger just got really really bad and I think also deep down under that anger is like hurt. Um so like with the white car honking at me, I was like thinking in my head, like I know they're like it feels like they're mad at me and like I made a what is my neighbor doing? Sorry. My neighbor can be loud sometimes. I hope they can't hear me. I'm serious. Like the walls are pretty thin. Um I think I hear his he always has his fan on in the bathroom. So I'm like like whatever. So the walls are pretty thin and I can hear sometimes. Oh my gosh. But sorry, my brain is like everywhere. Um but oh my gosh, when he talks on the phone, girl, it is so loud. Like I could be in my own room and the living room is like kind of next to it. I don't know if the layout's the same downstairs, but um I live upstairs and oh my gosh, like bro, he talks so loud. He's a pretty like loud neighbor, if I'm being honest. I can hear his footsteps. Um I oh my gosh, and the door. Bro, the door when he like there's a common door that we have. Um and then he has his own door, I have my own door, so he has to go through both doors. When he goes to his own door, it is like he slams it basically. I understand our doors, like our apartment doors. I think this apartment complex or village is kind of like old. Um, it seems old in my opinion. I don't know when they opened or like built this. But I understand like our doors, like I have to pull my door um another like step to really make it secure, and then I lock it. Um, so I don't know if that's his technique of trying to lock his door or like make it secure, but like he doesn't have to slam it that loud. I'd be sleeping at night, 10 a.m., 11 p.m. or 10 p.m. 11 p.m. Sometimes even 12am. Last night, guys, by the way, I slept around like 4 a.m. and I had to get up this morning around I put my alarm for 6 30 because my sister had a 10k run this morning, which was awesome by the way, pretty fun making the posters for you know like Ghost Sister and um things like that with her name on it. Um she told like she went with a group of friends and she told me that they all sorry I'm out of breath a little bit. Um I think it's my posture too, but she told me that they all ran, or I asked one of her friends, one of her guy friends, and he told me that they ran non-stop the whole I think it's six miles a 10k is, um, without like walking or like stopping for a bit. And I'm like, wow, she has really trained for this thing and she really successfully did it. And I hope she's proud of herself. I'm proud of her because like she's been running like every few days, every week, and it just really shows if you put in the work you'll have like a successful result, and yeah. But um, yeah, going back to oh my gosh, oh yeah, so my neighbor's loud. Um, and I'm moving next month. I yeah, I told you guys about my apartment stuff and situation. Um, but honestly, I have like mixed feelings about moving out. Obviously, the rent is crazy expensive. I told my coworkers about this, and and then I also told my other neighbor that I um uh whatchamacallit that I saw when I was pulling in to my apartment after the um marathon and yeah this is crazy expensive and um obviously the neighbor knows like I I'm pretty sure they pay the same like around the same rent um for a one bedroom. And I told my co-worker about it, and I'm like to be transparent, I pay about 2400, sometimes even 2500, which is my balance this month. Yes, I am late on April again. Um but I told my coworker and she was like, oh my gosh, like that's literally my paycheck. Like one, not her one paycheck, but that's literally like half her paycheck. And I was like, Yeah, that's half mine too. Um, and it's just like crazy expensive. I think when I signed up for this apartment, I was just like, yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. I think I just wanted to get to m to I just want to have an apartment so badly and like live on my own, and I didn't really think about the costs. Um, and I didn't really think about, you know, my income, and my mom had to co-sign for this apartment because my credit score just is bad. It's still bad, but we're improving. Um and yeah, I just like I need to move. I need to get out of here. Anyways, back to the anger. Yes, I am still working on it. I was even thinking about taking like anger management classes. Um, I just can't really like I mean I can afford it, but it's not like something I can like that I want to pay for right now. Um, so YouTube it is, um, and like articles and you know, there's probably like free workbooks on the internet or like I can get like Amazon workbooks or something like that. I just really want to improve my reactions um and like irrational um behaviors and like reactions to um something that would trigger me to become angry. So yeah, with that white car, I was just like but like I was also saying deep down it's hurt under anger, um, which is like the secondary emotion, and yeah, I just like I need to work on that overall. Um, but yeah, going also back to the very beginning where I talked about my grad school acceptance, I was accepted last Thursday, and I um I'm always checking my email. Um, it's pretty bad. Like I always have it as another tab, and then I refresh my email. Like that's probably the first app that I go to on my phone, and especially around grad school applications, like I'm done applying, I'm always refreshing my email to see any status updates. And last Thursday I got a status update for this program, and it was around like noon time, and I was like, dang, that was fast, because the deadline was April 1st, and then I got accepted April 9th. So I'm like, you guys probably like you were like a yes to my application, didn't really think much of it, like it looked good on paper, and well, you know, I'm a good student, I think. Um, and they were probably like, you know, the admissions team, they were probably like, yep, that checks off all the boxes, and we want to accept this person. And partially, obviously, I think, you know, with people applying, like to colleges and stuff, um, you have to pay for it, of course, and then you know, that's kind of how the teachers or the professors make their money and all the other staff. So it's like, did they really accept me just because I'm like I'm paying for school? I think that is actually the common thing for like all colleges or like all schools they have to pay for. Um, like that's an underlying thing. Like, yes, you have a good application, like you're well-rounded and stuff, but we do need your money. So, anyways, I am really looking forward to this program. If I do decide to commit to that one, um, because they do secure clinicals, and I'm like, yes, take me there. Um, because it's hard to like find clinicals if your school doesn't help for that. Um, and that's like a big thing with nurse practitioner school. Like, you like you have to really go or find a school that secures clinical sites, and luckily this program secures clinical sites, it says it on their website, and they set them up like around local hospitals and outpatient private practices. So I'm very like that is my number one thing actually. Um, because otherwise, like there are other schools, and also I started NP school last January, and I you know, like I just knew that I had to find my own preceptor. That's common in a lot of schools, especially online schools, and I am not paying like a thousand dollars, two thousand dollars for my preceptor, so I'd rather have my school secured so I don't have to, you know, be researching everywhere, um, making sure like a preceptor will accept me and things like that, so and especially paying for them. Like, I should not pay maybe like not a thousand, but like maybe like two fifty or something, like three hundred, five hundred. Um, like I should not be paying for someone to show me the ropes of what it's like to be a nurse practitioner, and like, you know, just like you're giving me homework and stuff like that, but like it should not be that much. And I know like some preceptors, especially in like Facebook groups, they charge like a lot, and girl, um, yeah, we don't need to put in extra money just for someone to like show me the ropes, so um, like obviously they can get like a little bit of money, but um, yeah, so I'm really glad this program does secure clinical sites again. I don't know how. I'm gonna pay for this, but luckily there's financial aid, and I think with this, I know I'm gonna be like having to pay loans with my experience with credit cards, and literally I've taken out like three loans. Um it's just like you know, I'm kinda used to it paying loans, so I'm like, you know, this I know it's gonna be a way more, probably like I don't know, 50,000 by the end of this program. Um, so I'm like I'm already mentally expecting that, and I know like I have to work enough hours and like be better at budgeting later on when I do become a nurse practitioner so that I can not spend the rest of my life paying loans. Um excuse me. Um so yeah, I'm like I don't know, I don't know. I am gonna figure out a way though to pay, but my education comes first, of course, and yeah, I mean that's just kind of how it goes. Unless you're like really richy rich, um, like, and you can just pay all your semesters and like not have to worry about debt later on. I'm just like, okay, okay, sleigh. Um, yes, I am back to saying sleigh because my coworker has said sleigh, and I'm like, like, she always says sleigh, and I'm like, okay, but I do say girly pop a lot, and like bruh. So um, but yeah, congratulations to me. And I think, you know, like I really worked harder on my application this year. I actually I don't remember if I applied to this program last year, um, or like two years ago. So, I mean, it's a really good school, and again, it secures clinical placements, so I'm like, good job, good job working on that application. Um, but yeah. Um, anyways, I do want to talk about Coachella. Um, I know it's Coachella season and weekend one has started. I saw the schedule on line, um, but when I found it, like I didn't really know the dates of Coachella. I know it was like like kind of spring, summertime. Um, I know it's in California, and I know there's like a lot of artist, you know, like popular ones, um, or like growing artists performing. It's just like a music festival. And I know also like everything's expensive, like crazy expensive, and like everyone wears like their festival really cute outfits. Um, and there are celebrities there sometimes. I don't know if Vanessa Hudgens uh attended this year. I'm sure she's busy with like raising her new kid. I don't even know she did she have her kid like was it more was oh my gosh, it's not it. Was he or she born? I don't know. But Vanessa Hudgens outfits for Coachella back in the day were iconic. So I'm like, I don't know if she attended this year. I feel like it would have been like big news or like on my feed, um, if she did attend like on the Coachella Instagram, but I don't know. I don't know. Um, because I love that flower crown kind of vibe and just like Bohemian outfits, and it was like really, really cool. But um I didn't so yeah, I didn't know Coachella was happening like the past weekend. Friday night I worked, um, and I got a notification on my phone from YouTube that Cat's Eye was performing in like five minutes, and I'm like, I love Cat's Eye by the way. Um, and I did not know, I actually didn't know they were performing at Coachella either. So I was like, this is really exciting. Um, so I saw Cat's Eye's performance streaming online on YouTube. Amazing, so iconic. Honestly, I might re-watch it because they are just great dancers and great performers. Their outfits, though, not a fan. It was kind of like I don't know who designed that, but like, you know, if they're happy with that, then slay. Um, yeah, that was cringy. I'm not gonna say slay anymore. But yeah, their outfits were kind of like I don't really vibe with it. Um, but they really danced well in that, like, no wardrobe malfunctions throughout the show. Um, but they're just like they're so cool and just really great dancers. I know Daniela is like an experienced dancer. I don't know who else was, but they're just awesome. Their voices are awesome. The fact that they perform with the mic while dancing, that's just like another level. And like I don't know how you could do that. Like, I would be tired of holding on to the microphone like throughout the whole dance. Um actually no, I think well, like if they've been dancing like the whole show and like have to do hand movements, yeah, I think they would give the microphone to like the extra dancers or the backup dancers, so maybe they don't hold it all the way. But very iconic. I'm gonna re-watch it just for the dancing and for like the songs. I know Pinky Up just came out and um it's a pretty catchy song, not gonna lie. It's pretty like EDM kind of vibes and catchy. So, um, but yeah, that's Cat's Eye. I love their performance. So after Cat's Eye I was like, you know, who else is on the schedule? Um, so I looked up the Coachella lineup, I saw Sabrina Carpenter was on it, and I love Sabrina Carpenter, I love her music, she's just so also iconic and cool. Um, I watched it from the beginning to the end, and oh my gosh, when the Sabrina isn't Sabrina Wood, didn't is that is that what it said? The Hollywood sign? Um, was it Sabrina Wood? I think it was. Yeah, it wouldn't be like Sab Wood. That like no, yeah. Sabrina Wood. I think it was Sabrina Wood. Um girl, when that sign started slowly rising up, oh my gosh, I was like my jaw to the floor. Um, and I didn't want to like scream in at my work because the kids were like sleeping, and then also like my office is open, my office door is open. Um, I didn't want to like scream obviously, but I was just like my jaw was to the floor and I was like saying out loud, oh my gosh, like she is so cool. That whole performance, amazing, amazing. I am glad she headlined, and um that whole stage, that set just so like so much hard work was probably put into it, I'm sure. Um, but like oh my gosh. Oh, there goes my neighbor. I am telling you he's gonna slam that door. Oh my gosh. Otherwise he's creeping. Oh my god. Have you guys heard that? Um he said thank you really, really oh my gosh, he slammed that door again. I can't, I I can't, bro. Um but he's really sweet. Um, so yeah. I had a lot of Amazon packages yesterday. For the first time I groceried, that's not even a vibe. Or that's not even a word. Um, I I purchased groceries through Amazon just like oat milk and frozen meals. Never purchased groceries on Amazon before, but um, yeah, I had like a lot of packages and I was like kind of expecting him to bring it in because he did that for like my other packages. And I get a lot of Amazon orders. Uh, it's pretty bad. I'm honestly I lost my Tori Birch sunglasses today at the marathon, not like in the like on the path or like on the grass, but I went to Starbucks before the marathon started and just to get like coffee and stuff, but and waiting for my family and sister. Um, but yeah, I placed my Tory Birch glasses on the table. On the coffee table. This is a side note by the way. Um excuse me. Oh, excuse me. I just drank soda, so um, but yeah, I placed my Tory Birch glasses on the little table, the coffee table, next to my bag, and um I don't know like what I did. I don't know if I put it in my hoodie pocket or like put it in my bag or like put it on back on my head. Um, because I got another order. I got a croissant for my grandpa and grandma. Um, so like I did a mobile order, so I don't know what happened to my glasses. Like it's really odd. I can't find it anywhere. Um, so yeah, I honestly might have to buy another one. It's like 60 bucks. Um, they're great classes by the way, but they always hurt my ears. Any sunglasses hurt my ears. Um or I think before doing that, I might have to call at Starbucks and like see if they have any lost and found area or like box. Um, so yeah, I don't know what happened to them. Like I would expect since it was next to my phone, I would have picked up the phone and the glasses. I don't know, guys. I don't know. Um, but back to Coachella. Sabrina, 10 out of 10. That set was amazing. It was definitely different than her usual con the short and sweet. Sure sweet and so sweet and sour. Wait, is it short and sweet? Yeah. I think when I called my friend last night, I think I accidentally said sweet and short. So that just sounds off, but short and sweet. And yeah, so like it's definitely different. It was definitely different than her um concert that she's been doing like the past year. Um, because I see them on like on my feed, and then I watch a little bit on YouTube. Um, so like she didn't really actually did she have like a bodysuit? I don't know, but I don't remember. Um a lot of like really cute, fun outfit changes, um, and just like it was just like so iconic. Um so yeah, she didn't really do like the bodysuits like for each like state or like country that she has been doing for her short and sweet concert. Um so it was just like really like different outfits and stuff, and it was really, really nice. Again, the set, girl, the set, amazing. The Sabrina wood sign. I don't know how they build that. Like, how do you build that? Um I think when she found out that she was headlining, I think that's maybe when they started building all of that. So I don't know, but oh my god, such a good performance. Um yeah, I can't stop talking about Sabrina Carpenter's performance at Coachella. So I think she's performing again next weekend, right? Is that how the artists do it? Like, if they're doing it, like are they doing like kind of like an encore the next weekend? Either way, she I like she really needs to take a break though and like take care of herself. I hope she is. Um, but yeah, really great performance. Another great performance, and this is the one, guys. I stayed up till 4 a.m. last night because um that's California time and it's like three hours um not delayed, but like three hours behind where I live. I'm like on the east side of the United States, and um, so I had to wait till like 2 30 a.m. And this was Justin Bieber's yes, the iconic Justin Bieber's performance, the iconic Justin Bieber. Um and I've always loved his music back then. Like I wasn't like a hardcore believer, but you know, he has some really like just the most like popular song that will go down in history. Obviously, Baby, One Less Only Girl, um, and then like some of his newer songs like Daisies, really just like really iconic. I've said iconic for each artist so far. Um, because they really are. Um, but Justin Beaver's performance, I loved how like at first I was like, what is like why is he like why is there a table and a computer and like why is it just by himself? I thought he was gonna do like his dancing and like have backup dancers and stuff, but all he really did, if you guys didn't watch it, he um had his computer like towards the like second to last, I guess, part of it, like towards the end, he was searching up like YouTube videos and um kind of singing along, and he was also like he also showed the um viral video clip of him with the paparazzi, like and he was like, It's not clocking to you. I loved that was just so funny. Like, um, I kind of felt bad for him in that moment, but like he was like, It's not clocking to you, it's not clocking to you that you're standing on on business or on my business, and that was like geez Louis. I'm I'm glad he like not acknowledged it, but like he was like, Yeah, I did that. Um either way, he seemed so happy um throughout that whole performance, really also such a great set with all the lights. I watched it in bed in the dark on my computer, so all my lights were off, and you can just see like the flashing of different colors with the lights and like having it like on and off, on and off. And it just turns my it turned my room into like a party, um, party set or party like arena um with the lights. So either way, like I could tell how much fun he was having, I could tell how much the audience was having, like the crowd, and I was also having really fun when he started singing like baby and what else did he sing? Oh, when he sang sorry, I was jamming out on my bed. Um, like putting my arms up and like singing to it or like whispering and lip syncing to it, lip syncing to it. Um I didn't obviously I didn't want to be that loud because it was like 2 a.m., 3 a.m. Um, but yeah, he started at like 2.30, ended around like 3 45, I think. Closer to 4. So I didn't sleep till 4 a.m. Um oh oh my gosh, it was such a great performance. Um I might rewatch that one too. I might rewatch all of them. Um I'm glad Coachella live streams it because like obviously I can't I'm not really gonna go to Coachella ever because I'm not like a big festival person and everything's like crazy expensive, and then you have to find like an outfit, um, and it's hot. Um, so yeah, you can be like dehydrated. Um so yeah, not my vibe, but I just love concerts. So yeah, not a festival person, but I love love love concerts. I just get like really into it and I like when I'm at a concert, all my problems go away. Like I don't even think about one single thing that I'm stressed about. I'm just like in the moment and it's so fun. Um, so yeah, that's kind of me last night with watching Justin Bieber's performance. Um, really, really great. So I kind of want to end on that note. I was gonna talk a little bit more about work and just like what I've been experiencing from my other coworkers at my old site. Um, I guess I can talk about my new site too, but I think this pod episode has been going on for quite a while. I think it's my longest pod episode. Um, but yeah, it was just uh such a fun Coachella live stream. Um, and yeah, just like this kind of like a positive episode, I feel like, with my grad school acceptance, um, a little bit of the traffic or not traffic, um, car situation. So yeah, but I I just want to end wrap that up. Um, I do have to go to sleep because I have worked tonight and this is kind of late. I've slept at 4 4 p.m. though. My shift starts at 7 p.m. and I live like about 45 minutes away from the old site. Yes, I picked up a shift for from for the old site, and I'm not looking forward to it. Um yeah, just a lot of problems if you've listened to my previous episodes. Um I have three shifts that I picked up for the month, and I just want to get them over with. Like, I I just am dreading working there and like like and that's also relating to like the work um work experience that I'm gonna talk about later on. Um but yeah, I have to sleep. Um if I fall if if I'm able to fall asleep, because I I grabbed another drink from Starbucks. Um, like I had a shaking espresso while waiting for my family, and then I was I went back to Starbucks to find my glasses, and I got another drink just because I also had to use the bathroom and it was it's only for customers, but a lot of the runners were in there getting their little treat, I guess. Long line, very busy. So I could have easily used the bathroom and like not buy anything, but kind of felt like I kind of have to. Um, and I was craving a refresher, so um, but yeah, now I have a drink for the car ride later on to work. Um, because usually I stop by Doncan and get some food and another drink on the way there. Um, but anyways, wrapping it up guys, wrapping it up. I am gonna hit the hay and try to go to sleep before my shift. But I hope you guys enjoy this episode. Thank you for sticking around if you made it this far. Um, I'm really excited for more episodes to come and probably Coachella weekend too. But this week, guys, my top choice school, I think I'm gonna find out this week or next week. Let me see actually. Hold up, guys. Yeah, um, excuse me, I've been like burping a lot. Um, probably shouldn't have drank the soda before recording this, but um, it's either they said mid-April to late April, mid to late April. So I don't know if it's this week, next week, or the last week of April. We shall see. Um, but April is moving fast. I didn't think we'd get to this point after I had the interview on March 19. So, I mean, I just really I need an answer. Um, but I'm gonna be patient and not think about it too much. Just kind of distract myself so I don't get myself worked up about it. Um, but yeah, guys, thank you so much for listening to this episode. I will talk to you guys in my next one. See ya.