1 more week till move, rude doctor interaction, and seeing top gun:maverick again!

Happy Monday guys! Today's episode I talk about me counting down the days til I move apartments, taking care of myself more, and having a fun solo movie date! Also touch on working with doctors in the healthcare field... Anyways, hope you enjoy. Also, fan mail is open! So feel free to write me and we can interact :) 

Transcript

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Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Soft Chaos with Noah. I am your host Noah and we've pretty much talked about my personal life a little bit here. Not too too personal of course, but just everything that I've been going through the past week and you know little updates here and there and I'm just super excited to share all of it with you guys and I hope you know well not hope but maybe you guys can relate to some of the stuff that I go through and if you guys have any tips you know interact in the comments. You can also send me fan mail, which is a new feature on the podcast platform that I upload my episodes on and organize everything. So feel free to send me fan mail, and yeah, also by the way, guys, my air conditioning is on in the background, it's in the living room area, so it's like not in the room that I record, but I don't know if you guys can hear that. It's just really hot. The air conditioning in my bedroom or the current room that I'm in right now broke because yesterday I was using the microwave, my bedroom air conditioning was on, and I think I just had a lot of power going, so it tripped off, and now we're here. But I survived the night. I did not need the air conditioning, thank goodness. So, you know, but I did receive my actual last rent bill from this apartment. I'm super excited, guys. I am moving in less than a week. Oh no, actually, no, tomorrow's Tuesday. I move or I get the keys on Tuesday, so yeah, I guess it's a little not even like one more what am I saying? A day more than a week. A week and one day. Does that make sense? Yeah. Anyways, I'm super super excited. Packing is going somewhat well. I guys woke up literally maybe an hour ago, and it is 5 30 p.m. I did not sleep until 2 a.m. or 2 30, maybe even 3 a.m. last week because oh, is that my neighbor? I always get nervous when my neighbor comes. Like I cannot wait to sleep on the third on the first floor, like have an apartment on the first floor so that if I order delivery food, I can just grab it and I don't have to go down the stairs and make so much noise, but um, I think that was my neighbor's car. Um, and yeah, I just can't wait to get out of this place, like, you know, only a few more sleeps and everything like that. Sorry, my sister just sex me. Um, I am just so ready to like kind of start fresh, but also I just cannot wait to have a better commute, like a shorter commute to work, which will help me insanely for my sleep and my like overall health, I guess you could say. Um, because I just have not been eating well, I have not been sleeping well. Like today, guys, I have not eaten any meal today, not even a snack. So I am planning to order some like burrito or something for delivery because your girl has to pack pretty much everything today. Like, I just wanted to do it all in one shot today. Last night I watched Top Gun Maverick as a re-release on in the theaters, and that is one of my favorite movies of all time. I think it came out in 2022, so like four years ago, and I watched it around my birthday time, so it holds like kind of like a special nostalgic feeling, and guys watching it again in the theaters and by myself this time, and then also like you know, my own popcorn, and there wasn't a lot of people in the theater. I was just like, this is such a great night for me, and I really needed that, even though it was late, even though I got home late, but I don't regret going at all. Um, you know, because I was like, this week only is the re-release, so like they're only I think they're doing it only for like the 20th anniversary of Top Gun. Um, I actually still have not fully watched Top Gun, like the original one, fully, like from start to finish, because I'm always like cutting it off because it's kind of long, and then I never go back to it. So one of these days, guys, I know I'm not a real Top Gun fan, so I definitely have to make time for that. But watching Top Gun Maverick again in the in the theaters, I've watched it multiple times when it came out on Prime. I bought it immediately. Like, it was just one of the best movies I've seen. The action, the sounds, like the actors, and just like the overall not message, but like um just the relationship between Tom Cruise's character, and then you have the son of um Tom Cruise's character's uh Maverick's like partner. Um I won't spoil anything, but then you have the son and then that relationship, and then you just have like also just the new young fresh generation of fighter pilots. Like, I don't know, it's just such a cool movie. I saw it with my family during my birthday week that time, and it was just a great, great time. Um, and they all loved it, so I that is just such a comfort movie to me. Um, but anyways, getting back to the move and the packing. Again, my short commuter time will be like 45 minutes, so way better than an hour and a half to two hours. Um, because again, I am not eating, I'm not sleeping well. Um, I planned for today to be a whole packing day and just like wrapping everything up, but of course I woke up late and it's okay. I got some rest and I don't have to leave my apartment tonight till like mm uh maybe 11 o'clock or 12 because I have to pick up my grandma somewhere and then we will both drive to the family's apartment and then I will sleep over there again and then go to my sister's second graduation. Um so yeah, that's super exciting, and then we will eat out tomorrow, and I don't work until 11 p.m. tomorrow, so super excited about that. Um, yeah, just need to really just push it, push through the packing today after this episode, and really like wrap everything up. Um, so yeah, I'm just really excited to get closer to moving. I get to start fresh, guys. I think the biggest thing that I'm super excited for is not only the commute, but also um I have an in-unit washer dryer, thank goodness. Um, let me tell you guys, so I I feel like maybe you guys can relate, but um, hopefully not. Like I hope there's you know, a lot of us uh, you know, are not alone, and I hope you understand that. I do struggle with depression, and so it's hard for me sometimes to do things that I wanna like get done, even just like the most simple like everyday tasks that you have to do in adult life, which is like laundry or showering. Have not showered in quite a while. Um, and I know that sounds super gross, but I just the sleeps I think adding night shift to it also just like really affects me. So um, you know, when I sleep, I'm tired, I don't want to shower as soon as I get home from my two-hour commute, and then it pushes it off. So don't worry guys, we're gonna shower today. I know. TMI, TMI. I promise I'm not a super gross person, but I do clean myself and I do take care of myself in these kinds of ways. Um, I just you know, even just like basic things like that, showering, I just I don't really get to because I'm just tired, I'm unmotivated, and at that point, discipline is the best way to go. So um, but yeah, things like that. Um, showering, but then laundry like I was talking about. I have not been doing laundry as frequently um since living here in this apartment because I'd have to go downstairs to another laundry building and just like carry it all and then go back up, wait for the dryer to finish, or wait for the washer to finish, go back down, switch to the dryer, go back upstairs. Like, I'm not gonna wait there for like an hour because there's really no Wi-Fi there, so there's no service, it's pretty scary down there. So I just like go back to my apartment because it's kind of like just a walk, and I just I don't know, just going the back and forth, it's just too much, and like I would really like me to be able to do stuff, um, you know, with my laundry in line of sight, so I'm super happy that I have now an in-unit washer dryer. My family has their own washer dryer, so it's like pretty convenient for them too. Um, so like having that it's just gonna be such a game changer, and I'll be able to get back on track. But I think the biggest thing for me for this apartment is really the rent. It's gonna be super less crazy than what I'm what I was paying for in this apartment. Um, do I think it was worth it? Uh kind of not really, I don't know, but it's just super expensive. Um, to be transparent, I was paying about $2,500 for a one-bedroom apartment, and yeah, uh, that's just crazy expensive to me, and then you have gas prices going up, and I have a lot of bills, and I'm in a lot of debt, so that is obviously taking a toll on me mentally and financially. So moving into this new apartment will be like about $1,900. Um, I know that's like I mean comparing that though to $2,500, like really like every penny counts at this point, like at this day and age in this economy. Um, so like I would rather pay that obviously than $2,500 because I don't have that right now. And also I don't think it's worth it. Um, I'm just gonna say that, yeah, it wasn't worth it living here, I'm gonna be honest, but um it was very convenient though, having a lot of stuff around me and um being still close to my family. Like it was just you know, it was a good living alone experience. This is actually I can't believe it's been a year um of me living alone, moving out, and it's been it's been fun. I I really do love living alone. I think there are a lot of perks. Um, especially if you feel like you just kind of need to step out of your comfort zone and just like kind of be independent, you know what I mean? Um, I'm a very like not super introverted, like I'm kind of both extroverted and introverted, but I feel like I just love my quiet time, my alone time, you know, ordering food at night, doing my little face mask, everything shower, and then watching TV and chilling out, and like no one's there to bother me, you know, or like reading on my own and having peace and quiet. Like I just love that solidarity, and I think everyone kind of needs that in their life. Um, even though some people may not have the means to do that, but um, if you do have that opportunity, it's definitely something worth uh taking, you know. Uh I really love how I kind of I feel like I have grown throughout this whole living alone experience, and I cannot wait to continue it. Um I just like I think also like just decorating my own place, making it my own, you know, dancing in the kitchen, having my music on glass, and not really having a care in the world. Of course, when I have a partner later on in life, that's gonna change, but I don't want it to change. Like, you know, I was thinking about this too, and of course I was thinking about my crush, but um, you know, if I do ever get a partner and we live together, it's just gonna be like I don't have to change myself to be like to like to be uh cooler or you know, something that a version that they want of me, so yeah, but yeah. Um so yeah, I'm super excited to move. I can't believe it's almost here and pretty much one more week till doing all this back and forth. I'm working five days this week, not like uh Sunday to Saturday, but like a Monday to Sunday version. Um, at my work, we start our week our pay weeks on Mondays, so I'm working Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and then Sunday, and then we move on Tuesday or get the keys on Tuesday, but I would really like to move on Tuesday. Like I just want to vacate out of this apartment as soon as possible, but I'm super excited and I hope to finish packing before I have to leave. Um, I do have quite a lot of things to do, including showering. Um, like I just cannot go another day without showering. I know that sounds super gross, but I really am kind of upset with myself. You know, I thought I would be able to like push myself out just a little bit more, but at the same time, I'm glad that I had that rest, and I don't want to beat myself up too much, so um, we're doing that guys, but yeah. Um, but last night, Top Gun, such a comfort movie, such a comfort movie, it was so great, and still always a 10 out of 10 for me. The music, the background music, the soundtrack. Um, I'm planning to get it on vinyl soon, so yeah, I'm gonna pause on Bayou Vinyls this um like the next few weeks because I'm not like I'm pretty much moving, so I don't want to carry too too much. And yeah, I haven't been using my vinyl as much because I've been working, and so it's like you know, it's just a one like five songs playing, and I don't want to have that on while I sleep, and then it's just like plugged in and then it's not playing music, so it's like a waste of electricity, but um, but yeah, it was a it was a great night. Just really need to pick it up this evening. Um, once I order food and then once I eat and kind of keep moving along. I'm gonna be honest though, I do kind of like not stuff stuff in my moving bags, but I'm just like kind of compiling everything and not really having it organized because like I'm like what's the point? I just really need like some storage, put it in a van or put it in a truck, and then carry it to the next apartment and then unload it. So it's like everything's gonna be unpacked anyway. Um, so I'm not too too uh like anal about organizing it in such a way, but I know with my fragile stuff like candles and um like yeah, did I say candles? Yeah, candles and like um glass cups from my kitchen, things like that I would obviously be super careful about, but other than that, I'm just really trying to get everything in together and um we're like kind of almost there. My room is getting emptier. The big thing though, oh my gosh guys, I think the biggest thing that I'm gonna tackle tonight is the bed frame and like put my mattress on the floor and maybe roll up my carpet. Um, you know, it's getting too much. It's getting too much. We are we're falling behind. Not gonna lie, we're falling behind on the packing and we just gotta do it. Um, another thing that I wanted to talk about, so switching gears, um, I wanted to talk about actually I want I guess I kind of wanted to start out this podcast, but now that I'm like going back to this topic, I just like don't want to talk about it, but I feel like it needs to be shared if you guys relate, um, and like just know you know it it happens. So if you guys didn't know, I'm a nurse and um obviously we have to interact with doctors to get orders for our patients or for our clients, and um I was just feeling really anxious and nervous the past week already, and so I had it kind of started off actually with um me doing shift report or handoff report to a nurse that I didn't have a good first impression with. Like when I first met her, she just wasn't like giving friendly vibes, and I know it's like you know, it's just the first impression, like you gotta get to know her. Um, but like right off the bat, it just wasn't, you know, like I don't know, it just wasn't really like uh in a friendly kind of manner, and I was just like kind of uh put off by that. So I really did do think first impressions are important, especially like I don't know, just like if you're like just put in an effort to kind of present yourself well. Um I get it if you're tired, if you don't want to be there, and like if you if you don't want to work or like you had a bad day, like yeah, I get it, but also just even just put on a friendly face, like come on, or like um, so during report you have like obviously you have to listen, but like it's just common non-verbal communication, guys. Like, face the person if you're gonna like listen to them and just like I don't know, just come on guys, like it was just uh I did not have a good report um that time. Like I literally was so angry on my drive home, and I was just like, I don't know, she was just like not giving like friendly vibes, but then I had to do handoff report to her this past week, and I was actually like I was not thinking it well, yeah, I was kind of like on and off thinking about it the whole night, like my whole shift, like oh my gosh, like I have to be ready for this person, like she kind of intimidates me, and I just want to like get it over with. I want to have everything ready, and I want like I know she works there per diem, so she doesn't know all the clients yet, and I want to be prepared to tell all of their history and like not stutter and like just kind of be on it. Um and it turned out to be fine. It turned out to be fine at the door. I was like, Hey, how are ya? She was like, Good, how are you? And I was like, Oh, it's so chilly outside. And was like, you know, kind of like being friendly, not a fake it till you make it, obviously, but like you know, in those cases, I think I was just like, I wanted to like you know, those are there are people you just want to please, and I'm a huge people pleaser. I'm working on it, but at the same time, I am like I'm getting better at it, like I just don't have anyone like I am not bothered by so many things anymore, like if people like me or don't. And um, but obviously I'm still working on that, but like um I just like with her, I just felt like I needed to like please her and like make her seem like oh I got everything together and I'm not like some lazy nurse and just like because she does have her experience, she does like put well, like she does look well put together and um you know has her stuff together and like all her nursing, like she's organized and everything, um, from what I've seen, and I just wanted to be like, you know, friendly and like see if that would take a turn, and it kind of did. It did. And she was like interactive this time, and um, you know, I walk we walked into the office and I was like, Oh, and happy nurses appreciation wig, and I was like, um, and she was like, Oh, okay, yeah, thanks, you too. So, you know, giving friendly vibes, of course. Um, and it wasn't that bad, guys. It was not that bad. I think I hyped myself up way too much. I do that a lot, like I get so anxious a lot for nothing sometimes, and that's okay. We just, you know, kind of do our thing, and and then when the event or situation happens, it's fine. Um, but yeah, I just thought she was like really intimidating, and then also I had another nurse yesterday morning that I had to give report to who I've heard some things about, but I didn't want to like base it off on that, but um she was just kind of giving like I don't know, like mean teacher nurse vibes, and um I didn't want to like assume that right away, so um, but she was fine as well. Um, she knew the kids well anyway, so um, and I prepared like a little report so that she would have all the history and stuff, um, like that. So I was just like kind of preparing. I think what I feel like I have a strength for is being very organized and being um like kind of like having yeah, pretty much everything organized, but like also preparing what I need to say to the next person, like to have a smooth handoff report. Um, but I mean thank God I just kind of got through it, and I think me going through these experiences and just like you know, the more I practice with people who may intimidate me or people who I may have not met yet, but have heard things about, like, or just like new people in general, I think it's really good practice for me um to just kind of like you know, what am I gonna prepare? How am I gonna prepare for this? Do I feel better after I prepare all of these things for day shift? And it turns out it was fine, and you know, I just I really feel I really do feel more confident in like as a nurse and just like kind of doing things for myself, so you know, like in being prepared as a nurse. So really super thankful about that. Um, I do want to now pivot to uh working with a doctor. Um no hate on doctors, but I'm gonna be honest, they gotta work on their bedside manner. Um, I know, you know, part of the medical school realm is just, you know, like kind of understanding how the body works and like all these medications, and it's just really, really hard. Um, from what I've heard medical school-wise, a lot of respect for doctors. Um, so you know, and I appreciate everything that they do and the doctors who take care of me and for my family and everyone else. Um, but when you're the care team behind the scenes, I feel like you have to just kind of respect each other and not act so self-entitled. Um, yes, I did have that experience. Um, I think it was yesterday or a few days ago. I had to set up a Zoom meeting for two of my clients, and um, so it would be a virtual telehealth visit with the medical provider, the psychiatrist there at my job, love her. She her and I, we've worked for almost a year now, and um she knows me, I know her, and we're just like very friendly like that, and she's super friendly. She, like, as a psychiatrist, like you obviously you're in the mental health field and you really are a little bit more sensitive to people's emotions and their thinking and understanding, and so obviously, you know, not even just that, like, I just know she's genuinely such a nice person and like very caring about her clients and her job. So thankful that I have a psychiatrist behind my back that we we're we're good and she's like she's like friendly, and I'm not I'm not like intimidated to text her if I need an order for something. So obviously she gives off great vibes. Medical provider-wise, girl, I'm just gonna be honest, she and I don't want to like talk bad about people on this podcast, but at the same time I just want to vent, and I did have a lot of strong feelings when I heard some comments um from her, like our interaction when I was trying to set up that Zoom meeting with my clients, and um I was taking like the Wi-Fi there is also like pretty bad, so I was also having difficulty with that. I did not have Zoom downloaded on my computer or even on the nurse's laptop, and um I was having trouble logging in, and then that just kind of delayed a lot of things, and um it was almost like the end of the hour, like for me going into shift from 7 p.m. almost 8 p.m. Um, I want to admit that. Yeah, like 7 45 though. And once um, once she started calling me, you know, she kept like we were going back and forth, she's waiting in the waiting room, she was texting me. Um I'm in the waiting room, and I was like, okay, sorry, having just technical difficulties, the Wi-Fi is really slow. And um, and then she called me suddenly and she was like, um, can I just I was just like, can I just FaceTime you? She was like, Yeah, because it's already eight o'clock, like um, just like that I know like that comment or that sentence is so like basic, but like adding the like at the end or like the the way she said it was just kind of like oh my gosh, like I you guys are running on my timeline, like you're wasting my time. Like, like I understand, okay, I should have probably set it up better, um, and like maybe had done it in the middle of uh you know when the other nurse was wrapping up, but like if you're gonna meet this late, expect to kind of meet late, like, especially during shift change, you know that nurses their common shifts are seven to seven, so obviously the shift change will be there in between. What if there's a unit disruption? What if something happens, like what if some nurses are just not as fast to prepare medications or just like get everything ready for the night? Um, but just the fact that she said it in that way, like it was just not very like friendly and it was not understanding. So, um, yeah, that was part one. And then part two, um, I was missing a wait for one of the clients who got back from the hospital, and our wait days are like on specific days, and so I totally forgot, like the next day we didn't have weight day, but since this kid came back from the hospital previously I had to like it was just kind of common sense to take the wait like the morning after, and um, I did not do that uh because I thought it wasn't weight day, so um she I was like kind of like trying to explain myself and um I did you know put in an excuse like um like a quick one because I had to like wrap up the conversation, but I was just like oh sorry, there must like it must have not been submitted, but I can take a wait the next morning or like tomorrow morning, and then she was like, um, I don't see a wait here, and then I was like, Oh, yeah, um, sorry about that. Like, I don't I think I just not was not submitted, and then she was like, Oh, well, because I need it for my note, and it was just like, Okay, I get that, but like the way you said it too, just like very like entitled and like selfish almost and like very cocky, um, did not appreciate that. So the rest of the night I was just like thinking about that situation, and I was just very angry, and of course I did vent in my journal, and that helped a little bit. Um, but then I started texting like my other friends who kind of understand, and I just like I love venting to my friends, they are the mom.com. Um, find friends like that who like you feel comfortable in sharing and like texting and venting to them. Um, I really appreciate those who like were understanding and were able to like listen to me and just like I you know having that comfortable space with them to vent, so really appreciate that. But um, yeah. Uh this doctor, I yeah, I mean, oh, you know what? Also, background, she did work at the previous site that I worked at, so I was like, I kind of had an impression with her, but at the same time, um, when I worked with her back at that site, I was also kind of intimidated by her, and like kind of um because she was like buddy buddy with the nurse manager that who that was a bully to me, and um, so like they I I guess like them being on like being on friendly terms just kind of also made me like not like her, but even like separating the nurse manager from her, she overall did not give me friendly vibes, and I was intimidated by her, and I just did not want to see her like throughout the shift if she came in and did assessments late, so I did not like that. Um and yeah, it's just like I mean, come on, like if you're gonna be like oh, you know what? Also, sorry, my mind is all over the place again, soft chaos with Noah. Um, the way like I have to be in the room with the the patient to like um be a witness or observe the appointment or the telehealth appointment, and the way she talks to the kids. I kind of knew this is how she talks to the kids anyway, from working at the old site, but just like hearing it again, girl. I like you just gotta be like it just like made me so frustrated, like the way you especially talking to a kid who's already in such a vulnerable state of mind, like I don't know. You just gotta like I don't know, it's it's tough with eating disorders because you're dealing with both medical and physical or medical and mental um levels. Like it's you know, it's definitely both 50-50, and I just guys, I don't know, she just like the way she talked to the kids, it's just very like you're talking to like your kid like her if she had her own kids, you know, um, and you would be comfortable talking to your own kids that way. I hope she doesn't talk to her kids that way. I don't think she has kids anyway, but if she did, um I hope she doesn't talk I hope she wouldn't talk to her kids like that. But the way she talked to these kids, guys, it's just like so direct, no emotion. It was very harsh, very hard, and like not I didn't even hear like a word like um oh I'm sorry you're going through that. I know people, you know, are s like don't have that skill set yet. Um, and s like I don't know, just being like an empathetic person or like being human, like obviously it's it can be learned and um I don't know, it's just like kind of natural for some people, but just kind of like understanding like that these kids, these are just kids and these are babies and like you just gotta be kinder to them and not be so hard during the during like the appointment, like the medical appointment, especially as a doctor. It's like what are you what did you like go to school for? Are you there really to like why are you a doctor? You're being there to care, take care of people, um, despite all the didactic and the you know constant research and behind the scenes, like figuring out um how to treat this person, like you also have to have that kind of caring manner, and girl, I did not feel that caring manner from her. This is just my opinion. So probably other the other clients might feel like they like this doctor, but I yeah, not giving the vibes for me, so um, I was kind of upset that she transferred over to or not transferred over, but also took over our site, and I'm just like I have to work with her. Um, but it's okay, it's like not every day, so I'm fine with that. Um but anyways, guys, yeah. I just wanted to talk about that. Um, also talking going back to school, I feel like this year is just kind of like we're getting back into it, like everything's exciting now and still stressful, of course. You know, I'm still doing bad financially, but there's like little positives here and there. Um, last night I was also looking up like reaction videos of the school that I applied to and got into. I don't know, just to kind of like validate myself. I know that's bad, but it's like I have to understand that Noah, you are going to an amazing school. It's such a prestigious school and it's really great, it's a great program, and you know, like you just gotta be proud of yourself that you got this far. Um, I think what also kind of makes myself feel like pump like how I put myself down is just that um, you know, I never really had this opportunity or like I never thought I would get into this because of my grades in high school and everything I went through. So like I applied to different schools, but just also being surrounded by other kids who applied to like the top-tier universities in the US, I just felt also like had a low self-esteem from that, so it's just like I don't know, you know, I don't think I deserved that, and um who you know who would have thought? Who would have thought? So it's still kind of settling in my mind. I even had a plan to print out the acceptance letter, which I think I think deserves to be printed out and framed, not gonna lie, because this is such a proud achievement of mine, like such a milestone for me, or not a milestone, but like such a such an achievement for me. Like, who would have thought this is really like not a dream? This mind or this school wasn't even in my mind back then. Um, it kind of was towards the nursing, nurse practitioner school application, like flow that I was in. It kind of sucks though that I didn't really put in that effort, but you know what? We are on our own timeline, and it's okay, like if people are like doing things at a later age, and that's totally okay. So, um yes, I'm keeping this a secret from my parents, my family, only my sister knows, and obviously my besties, but um the thing is like I started a program back last year, January January 2025, and I did not like feel like I was like really learning, I was still living at home, so that was kind of tough too. Not being able to like feel comfortable studying there because it was so loud, and then also like not having a curfew, but when you're still living under your parents' roof, it's just like you still kind of have to respect their rules, so I was just like kind of tough. And now that I'm like this is an actual campus that I get to go to, and I have to go anyways, like for simulations and stuff, but like it's just like who you know Noah in high school never would have thought this would happen, this acceptance would happen, so um, but yeah, I did start that program in January of 2025, and um I didn't end up like continuing it. I only think I'd made I think I only did the f spring semester and the summer semester and then fall. I couldn't register because I didn't have money and um I'm still paying off the tuition for that school, so um, and who knows how we're gonna pay for this school, but I will figure out a way because this is a once-in-a-life opportunity, and I I just have to figure something out because I'm not gonna let this opportunity pass. Like I feel like at the end of this program, you know, once I do pass everything and finish it up and have my degree, I would look back and be like, Yeah, I'm glad you you kind of figured out a way to make it through and pay for it because school is expensive, y'all, especially four-year universities, really just like any school, but I'm glad I went to community college um in the beginning so that I wouldn't have too too much debt. Because imagine if I went to a four-year undergrad, and then I'd have to do all this grad, so it's like that debt in addition to this debt. So I'm like kind of comparing, hey, it's not that bad, and also like this is a great opportunity, so of course you can't like really pass this up, even though it's expected to be in quite a lot of debt. Um, but that's why we have financial aid and scholarships and you know, little things for nurses, so yeah, but I'm really excited. I could talk about school because I I am a school person, I love learning, I love like submitting things in and like having a grade and like being evaluated, and also just like how to curate my profession and the way I work as a nurse, like how to make it stronger and like be more of an expert in my practice. I just I like I love building that confidence and knowledge, so um, but yeah, guys, we're gonna wrap it up because I do have quite a lot of packing to do. I just wanted to film this podcast episode and talk about you know little updates here and there and just like you know what happened the past week. But I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. Wish me luck unpacking, and I hope you guys are doing well. Don't forget to check out the fan mail feature and send me some things, write me something so um so we can communicate. But yeah, um, I will talk to you guys in my next episode. Bye bye.