Inside a Real Cuckold Marriage

In this episode of The Cuckold Marriage Podcast, Chris and Lexie are joined by Steve and Kita — a real married couple living the cuckold lifestyle. Together, they dive into the emotional reality behind the fantasy, including jealousy, cuck angst, communication, trust, and how introducing another man into their marriage changed their relationship. Steve and Kita open up about the first conversations, evolving boundaries, emotional highs and lows, and the surprising ways this dynamic brought them closer together. If you’ve ever wondered what cuckolding actually looks like inside a real marriage — beyond the stereotypes and fantasies — this episode delivers an honest, raw, and intimate conversation you won’t forget. 

Lexie's Website: www.CuckoldressLexie.com

Email Us: Podcast@CuckoldressLexie.com 

Transcript

SPEAKER_06 0:00

Hey boys, and welcome back to the Custol of Marriage podcast. I'm Lexi, and tonight we're getting very intimate with another real custom couple because everybody loves hearing the fantasy, the flirting, the teasing, the hot life stories. But what people really want to know is what this lifestyle is actually, what it feels like once the second door closes and real emotions show up. What does it do to a marriage when another man is a secure? What happens when jealousy mixes with desire? When insecurity mixes with excitement, when a husband realizes watching his wife become more confident, more desired, more sexually alive, turns him on more than he ever expected. Tonight we're talking about all of it. The first awkward conversations, the emotional highs, the cup inks, the moments that brought them closer together, and the moments that tested them. So if you've ever wondered what this lifestyle really looks like behind closed doors, stay right here. Because this one is going to get very real. To get us started, here's my special cuckie, my stuffy Chris.

SPEAKER_04 1:10

All right. Thanks, Lexi. Love that introduction. I am so happy to be here today because we have some guests with us today. We have another couple. And one of the things that I love about our show is that it's really resonating with couples. And um than we thought it was. More so than we thought. I thought it was going to be a bunch of dudes listening to the show. And it is, but those dudes are also grabbing their their spouses or their partners' hands and saying, Hey, will you listen to this too? Um, which I think is really awesome. So before we jump into that, I want to say thanks again for the support you've been showing to the podcast. The downloads keep on growing. We're just nipping at 100 countries now. Um the messages keep coming in, and honestly, we love hearing from all of you. Yes, we do. Yeah, absolutely. So if you if if if you've got a question you want us to answer the show, a confession, a fantasy, or even a cutting situation you're dealing with in your own relationships, send us fan mail through the podcast or reach out to us through our website at cuckholderslexy.com. And some of our favorite conversations start with these messages. And you can also email us at podcast at cuckholderslexie.com and we will get back to you. Um and if you want more Lexi, make sure you subscribe to her family. That's the best way to support the show as well. This show is free to listen to, it's certainly not free to make because we would love some more some better equipment and all that stuff. Maybe a better camera so you can see Lexi better when we do the ones that do on the video. But um, yeah, go ahead and and and find Lexi's family through her website, cuckholderslexie.com. And then finally, make sure that you subscribe to us on um on Blue Sky at Cuckhold Marriage Pod. So today we have with us Steve and Tita. Um, and they are real cuckold couples who are going to discuss some of the aspects of the cuckhold relationship. Welcome to the show, you two. We are so excited to have you, Steve.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

Thanks for having us. Thank you for having us.

SPEAKER_04 3:16

Yeah, yeah. Well, we're so glad to have you here. So Lexi and I are gonna rotate on asking you these questions. And I know we sent you a list of questions. Lexi and I always do this. Well, to be fair, I do this. I come up with a large list of questions, but some of which you actually share with me. Some of them I actually share with her, but we're gonna just ask as many as we can. But the better the organic conversation, we might only get to two or three then. Let's see how it goes. But we'll rotate. Lexi, do you want to go ahead and ask that first question?

SPEAKER_06 3:42

I would love to. So, what was the first conversation that made you realize this dynamic was more than just a fantasy?

SPEAKER_01 3:50

So I think for us it's a little bit different because we have really been exploring the fantasy our entire relationship. Um but it's just this most recent switch because we both have we've switched between dominant and submissive throughout our relationship. Um and it's this most recent time when we really uh dove deeper into this current dynamic that we're in to the point where we feel like it it could be it's definitely feeling long-term for us.

SPEAKER_02 4:23

Um yeah, we actually started off in the in a dynamic more than a relationship, so we kind of did it a little backwards.

SPEAKER_04 4:33

You want to kind of explain that? Because I know we before we started to record, you kind of told us a little bit about that, but like to tell us about your origin story about how you two meth.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

Yeah, so we were in a chat room um that was for local FETLife members, and uh I was super new to BDSM. Um I was really exploring my kinky self, and he was looking for a key holder um because he was exploring his paged self.

SPEAKER_03 5:02

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

And um, so he had messaged me and we started talking. Um, and I became his key holder. At the time, I didn't really fully understand what that meant because I was brand new.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Um really neither. Well, that one of us really knew, besides like the sexual part of it, what it really truly meant as far as like the cultural relationship.

SPEAKER_04 5:26

Yeah, I want to dive into that a little bit more a little bit later on about what it means to be seaholder to you, but let's let's see the um the what you asked this question, right? So as you and I might go kind of off the script that I said just because I I'm really into here, but you know, see what what what emotions surprise you the most once you actually entered the lifestyle? Was there something like because you said you didn't expect it to, you know, you don't really know what it meant to have a key holder? So I'm just curious, like what surprised you? What like what was it out of the because Lexinary would talk about it's more than just a sex? So talk to us about what surprised you.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

Yeah, like how how much deeper like the intimacy level can get. Like we're already really intimate, but when you actually enter the the cuck hold lifestyle, it's the the the intimacy is like amplitude times a hundred. Um and then I'm just like more attentive and everything like that. It's just more intimate and more passion behind it.

SPEAKER_06 6:31

All right, all right. So this one, this question I have is for wifey. Did you immediately feel empowered in this dynamic, or did it take you maybe some time to grow into that role?

SPEAKER_01 6:42

So it's definitely taken me time. Um, throughout our relationship, when I would be the dominant one, um, during a scene or when we were getting intimate, I I felt empowered in that moment, um, but it didn't come naturally for me. Uh for him, it his submissiveness has been very natural. Um, for me, the leadership role of it, um, me being dominant, that was not something I was used to or really ever expected that I would become empowered with. Um this time when we've switched, I uh he's really encouraged my exploration and uh I saw how turned on he got at in the moments that I felt more empowered, and that kind of pushed me even more um into that empowerment. Um and I think as time goes on, it just my I feel much more empowered now than I did at the start of this.

SPEAKER_04 7:50

Is that like Lexi D did you feel the same way at first? Like about the dominant thing? Yes, did that resonate with you?

SPEAKER_06 7:56

It totally resonates with me. I I absolutely felt that way. I do think that it's something that sort of builds upon itself. And um, you know, I didn't start off feeling like this and I'll be all powerful cuff holders. I feel like it it um kind of grew over time, and so I I agree entirely.

SPEAKER_04 8:19

I mean, beautifully said, yeah, yeah, really, really well done. I I can't imagine, you know, going from just like zero to 60 in now where all of a sudden you have the power. Um, because a lot of times for us, you know, and I don't see if this is if this you know kind of resonates with you. You know, it felt so natural to just kind of give up control. Um but I don't think it's natural on the other side to take it. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

It felt completely natural to give up control for sure. I've always wanted to explore the top old side for ever since I can really remember. Um and I now I finally can with her as my partner as well. Trust is a big thing for her, too.

SPEAKER_04 9:03

If I could ask one other follow-up question about like how you all met, because I just you know think from a there's a lot of folks listening to this show that want to have this kind of relationship. And this is more for Tita. What did he do right when he reached out to you? Because that's like everybody that there's so many cuts who would love to meet a woman on Fed Live in a chat room or something like that, but they just can't do it right. What did he do right? That he how did he phrase that right? How did he get you?

SPEAKER_01 9:33

That I mean that's um I think for for me it was how he approached it. He was very respectful. Um, he inquired about me and my experience and um wanted to know if it was something I would be interested in. He didn't just jump in and be like, hey, will you hold the key to my cage? Um he he approached it very respectfully and genuine, and that we have discovered is very hard to find in the community. Um, people who want to, you know, take that time to get to know you and to uh open up and be vulnerable without just jumping in and being, you know, you want to be my goddess? Will you be my key holder? Like that's I get a lot of messages like that um without even having a conversation with me, and that's what he did. He had a conversation with me.

SPEAKER_06 10:36

Absolutely. So I um I had a question. Was there a specific moment where you both realized that okay, this is changing our relationship um and our marriage?

SPEAKER_01 10:51

Yeah, I think for us, I think it was different for both of us. For me, I realized that this was a long-term, like this wasn't just like any other switch we've encountered. This was us in a long term when we both admitted out loud to each other that we did not want to switch back. Um, I've always naturally been more submissive. And so this time has been a lot different for me. Um I can't imagine going back to what we were before, um before this time. And I would I would feel disappointed if we switched back, honestly. I think we're both having so much fun and our relationship has grown so much from it. Um I think that I think that admission from both of us was what really locked it in for me.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

Yeah, I I completely agree. Um it just it felt different. And it's just like a lot more intimate than we it brought us a lot closer than we already were.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

Yeah, he's been opening up a lot more. He's not a super emotional person, never has been. Um, I don't know that I had ever seen him like tear up or express a big emotion uh during our relationship until this, like until this early this year when we switched and started becoming what we are now. Um, that he opened up to a point he had never opened up before. And it really, I think that that was a big changing moment for us too.

SPEAKER_04 12:35

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_06 12:36

That's beautiful. I love that.

SPEAKER_04 12:38

That is really awesome. Like I got I wonder what the psychology behind that is. Yeah. Because I I mean I I feel the same way. You know, it's so interesting when you kind of let down that guard and you start to kind of embrace a more submissive side where you don't have to um you know make it many decisions or be right all the time, or or it's just your purpose is disturbed the other person, it just creates a lot of clarity. And um, it helps you get in touch with maybe emotions that have been hidden underneath the surface. I don't know. Um I I I feel I feel like I feel like I should be on a therapist's catch right now. What's that? They can unlock doors that you never knew were there. Exactly, right? You can unlock all these doors. Like, you know, solve the world's problems with it. So um what boundaries did you set early on that changed uh that that may have changed later? Uh I don't know how long have you all been how long have you all been doing this, by the way?

SPEAKER_01 13:39

Um, we've been exploring this dynamic on and off well since we got together. So six years, a little over six years.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

Wow, okay. Yeah, it's been a while.

unknown 13:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:50

But we were really talking the deep cuckled dive earlier this year. Um, but we've been experimenting with it pretty much on the wall for six years.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Yeah, I wouldn't have defined us as a cuckled marriage until early this year.

SPEAKER_04 14:08

Okay, okay. So were there boundaries that kind of changed? I mean, obviously, one of them is probably he doesn't sleep with other people anymore, but are there other boundaries that have changed?

SPEAKER_01 14:18

Um I don't know that we've had a lot of other boundaries change. Um, that was the big one because we did start off um We did start off with swing and threesomes and things like that. Yeah, and um so that was the biggest one, I think. But I think our boundaries haven't really changed. We've kind of adjusted and added maybe.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

Um we'll try most things once, and if we're unsure, we'll try them again, and if we don't like them, then it's uh that's enough, we're not doing that again. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:52

Yeah. One I think one of the boundaries that has stayed actually, one of the boundaries that did change was which I didn't think about before, but we were he was always open to me having other romantic partners. And I I never really had an interest. And then once we became what I would consider a cuckold marriage, he that interest for him, he's learned is is some a boundary that he doesn't really want to cross, which I'm perfectly fine with. I am very happy romantically with him and him only. And but that is one boundary I think that has actually changed for us.

SPEAKER_04 15:32

I agree on that. You're cool with it, Steve or she forms an emotional relationship. Is that we're nearing that? Or is it the opposite of that?

SPEAKER_01 15:40

She he used to be. So he had previously he was always open to me having other romantic relationships.

SPEAKER_04 15:48

And so now it's it's a no-go on the romance.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

Yeah, we we're mutual, yeah. Yeah, it's mutual, neither one of us want that.

SPEAKER_02 15:59

She can have all the all the guys she wants, but I'm her priority at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

Yeah, and we do acknowledge though that there's always stuff happens. So you can, you know, start building a relationship with if you have like a regular bull. And we're aware that there feelings could possibly develop and we would address it then, but we have zero plans of having any other romantic partners now besides each other.

SPEAKER_06 16:29

Okay, all right. So that brings me to my next question. How do you handle jealousy, insecurity, or cuck angst when it shows up unexpectedly?

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Well, I mean, we had we had uh one instance where she was on the phone with the potential bull that we're vetting, and I had a little jealousy come up and stuff, so I just kind of distracted myself by doing things around the house. And even though she might not answer my text or something, I would just text just the vent, and then she would get it afterwards. It just made me feel better, knowing that I would just get my feelings out right then and there instead of just holding it in. Um just the things like that. Just kind of keep yourself distracted. Uh if it comes up, just know at the end of the day everything's okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

And then afterward, um, after I was off of the phone with him, we uh talked about it. We I put the phone down, um, all distractions were set aside, and we uh we discussed how he was feeling, the emotions he went through. Um you know, I just listened to him talk it all out. Um, and then we talked about if there was anything that we wanted to adjust about the relationship with the potential bull bull that we're vetting. Um, so we talked about, you know, a couple of things that we wanted to change that would make him feel more feel more comfortable because we are still new to this 24-7 dynamic um specifically. So we're you know, we're adjusting as we go. And so we we we talked it was aftercare. We had a lot of aftercare talking about it.

SPEAKER_06 18:10

Yeah, it's so healthy what you just described. Like I I wish that other couples that are maybe thinking of getting into it or have gotten into it, but maybe you're in like earlier stages or even you know, mid-stages, um we'll we'll share this and and do that same thing. Approach it the way that you guys did in such a healthy way. I love that effort very much.

SPEAKER_04 18:36

Thank you. Yeah, super healthy way to do it. So, Steve, have have you ever struggled with comparing yourself to another man in this dynamic?

SPEAKER_02 18:45

No, I haven't really struggled with comparing myself yet, anyway. I mean, that I'm sure that that road will probably get crossed at some point, but I haven't really experienced that yet. I mean, I know as far as size, I'm average, so there's really nothing there, but um uh I haven't really no, I it's really never crossed my mind yet. I I have fun as long as she has fun. Um when she has a bad experience, I kind of feel that on the back end too. I had the bad experience, like, oh man, that that just sucks. Uh-huh. Um I mean, when it when bad bad experience happens, it sucks for the both of us.

SPEAKER_04 19:19

Are are you always present, Steve? Are you are you always in the room?

SPEAKER_02 19:23

I have been like the past two times she has, but the potential bull that we're vetting, I'm not gonna be there for that for the first meet. So that's gonna be um definitely an interesting moment there, and that's gonna pretty much happen in a couple weeks.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

So wow.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

Um yeah, at that at that one club.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

We were at it was a few years ago and we were at a lifestyle club. Um and he was caged at the time.

SPEAKER_02 19:50

I was sitting in the lobby while you went upstairs with that guy, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

Yeah, I went I went off to a room with a guy without him. He was he was in the building, but he wasn't in the room for that time, and he felt pretty good after I came back out. I I don't think there were any negative feelings after that.

SPEAKER_02 20:09

No, not at all. I tell she had fun and it was a fantastic time that night.

SPEAKER_04 20:14

I I love that talking to couples who actually like do this stuff because Steve, I can imagine that. So when Steve's going up, this is a hot story.

SPEAKER_06 20:22

So I'm gonna imagine that very much from true life.

SPEAKER_04 20:25

Yeah, from true life. Like, this is like our life. Like, I mean, that this happens all the time to us. But when she goes up to that room, Steve, and you're sitting there downstairs caged, what's going through your mind?

SPEAKER_02 20:35

Oh, I just got like butterflies. I'm kind of giddy. I'm like, oh, I wonder what wonder what's going to happen. I hope she has a fun time. I hope she comes down and tells me all about it. And I hope she this doesn't, it's not gonna be a night ruiner. Um, it was a fantastic time because we have had, you know, threesomes and like that and this stuff in the past, and I've had performance anxiety anyway, so I really wasn't involved anyway. But uh and it's just the butterflies and the excitement, it's just like a ton of things going through your head at the time.

SPEAKER_06 21:06

Yeah. Well, so my next question is for my fellow cuck holder what do you wish that more husbands understood about the emotional side of the lifestyle for women?

SPEAKER_01 21:19

So I think something that would be beneficial for husbands and for us too, honestly, um, to know and to acknowledge is that there can be an emotional aspect after an encounter with another man. Um, especially when it doesn't go the way you want to exactly the way we would hope it to have gone. Um it's not always just a quick bounce back for us. Um it it there's some aftercare sometimes that's needed. Um, and then also just to keep in mind. I think that I with a female led relationship in general and um the responsibility that we do take on in decision making making for our partner, it can um it can feel heavy sometimes. Um not that it's a bad heavy, just that it can feel a little heavy. And I I know for me I tend to overthink. Um and so I will overthink if I'm doing things the way he needs, if I'm meeting his needs. He's always great at expressing what he wants and needs, but I still overthink um trying to decide if I am meeting my needs, but also still meeting his, um, especially on the emotional side of it.

SPEAKER_06 22:51

So something very interesting that you said um that I I think most people never think about, and I honestly don't think about much, is aftercare, but not just for the cup. Yeah. So sometimes we need aftercare. You know, we don't always have a great experience, whether it's emotionally or physically. So there have been um there's been an um emotional time where I have needed some aftercare from Chris because I felt a bit for lack of a better term, kind of used and thrown aside by a guy that um you know just kind of disappeared. Um and that made me feel really bad afterwards, and it it it and it I was really kind of crushing on him. We've been together twice, and he had really pulled out all the stuff being this um you know dreamboat, and the fact that I I guess I I pissed him off because I didn't respond to him quickly enough. And yeah, yeah, he got he got really needy really quickly the very day after our second time. And um so when I didn't wasn't just immediately like boom, boom, boom, responding to every message, immediately he very quickly was like, Oh, okay, radio silence, I see, and then he disappeared. And yeah, and I was like, I'm I'm sorry, I was I have I had a life, I I was dealing with it, blah, blah, blah, whatever. I'm here, and he disappeared, and it's I felt very emotionally kind of cast aside. So I needed aftercare after that, and then there have been shallow as it is, times, uh, a couple times where I have had a bull literally be on top of me and sweat profusely.

SPEAKER_04 25:06

Like, if you want to really just piss her off sweat all over her, yeah, like profusely.

SPEAKER_06 25:12

Like, we're not talking, you know, a couple drops here and there, we're talking massive buckets of sweat on top of me. I have a very visceral reaction to that level of sweat, and it's only happened like twice. But I I not only needed a shower immediately afterwards, I needed him to calm me down. Not just inform about it.

SPEAKER_04 25:38

It was a wreck after that one. That was I felt so bad. Like we took a little bit of a break after that because she was so distraught.

SPEAKER_06 25:44

Yeah, I needed some time.

SPEAKER_04 25:48

So I know one thing uh I know one thing you all have mentioned is how this dynamic has improved your communication and and really your intimacy. Can you talk about that? About how it's improved your communication and intimacy.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

Yeah, so we um I think I had already said he started opening up a lot more emotionally. And for me, I don't know that he had the same reaction, but for me, once he started opening up even more emotionally, the first time I saw him actually cry, um, which I felt a little guilty for enduring, not because I was happy that he was in his field, but that I could finally relate to him on that level because I'm a very emotional person. My tear ducks are attached to every emotion I have. Um and so me getting to see him that vulnerable with me was a whole new level of intimacy for me. Um he looked a little shocked when I told him that before, um, because we hadn't really talked about it too much. But um for me, the intimacy just skyrocketed to the next level when I saw that vulnerability on his face.

SPEAKER_02 27:04

Um Yeah, I mean, I mean the vulnerability is a is a good thing because I mean we were taught like from childhood, you're a man walk it off. I mean, but we gotta get those emotions going. It's it's healthy to kind of get those the communication, the line of communication honest and open.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

Yeah. Um and we check in a lot more with each other too, because we we have gone out a little bit more um and met a couple, you know, had a couple new experiences. And so uh he's really good about checking in with me after an encounter that we've had. Um, and then I think we just we check in a lot more about how we're doing physically, how we're doing emotionally, um, if we did or didn't like something, um, how we're feeling about how this is changing our marriage. Um, it's really forced us because we want to stay healthy. We've had a great relationship and we want us to keep that communication open even more now that we have changed so much of our dynamics.

SPEAKER_05 28:19

So you can think about it. If you're ready to do it the right way, beautiful, beautiful.

SPEAKER_06 28:57

So, and this is a uh a big question, I know, but what is do you think, what is the biggest misconception people have about couple couples?

SPEAKER_01 29:08

Um, I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that the majority of it is sex. Um that was a misconception, you right?

SPEAKER_02 29:17

Yeah, that's total bullshit. It's not just about sex.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

Yeah, and I I'm guilty of having that misconception.

SPEAKER_02 29:23

Um, I think porn gives us a misconception, all the all the cut porn and stuff like that gives us a complete misconception anyway. And so we kind of look past that.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:33

And what I think in the the one of the big differences from the past times we've switched where he was my submissive, I didn't really understand that, like how how much of an emotional level it it reaches when we are in this dynamic. Um, I saw it, you know, because of the basics that you see, porn online, um, that it is mostly sex. And so for me, that felt like he didn't put pressure on me, but just the role itself in the past. I felt the pressure like it needed to be sex. Otherwise, it wasn't it wasn't significant. And once this past switch, we started learning more about coupled marriages. And he found your guys' podcast.

SPEAKER_02 30:25

And so we heard the podcast, and then we started listening together and discussing them back and forth.

SPEAKER_01 30:33

And so it's it's really changed my perspective on it. And I think that's that's one misconception a lot of people have is that it's it's more emotional than it is sex.

SPEAKER_04 30:43

A hundred percent. It's so little about the sex. Like I can't even emphasize that. The sex is awesome, by the way. I don't want to tell you that, like, like it's it's amazing. Um it's just it's just not the whole insulating when it comes to this thing. It's just not the big picture.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

Yeah, the sex is definitely a both uh is definitely a pull huge plus. Um I'm quite enjoying it.

SPEAKER_04 31:06

Freaking awesome. Yes. Um has but there are awkward moments. So have you ever had a lifestyle experience go completely wrong or awkward? And what did you learn from it?

SPEAKER_01 31:18

Yeah, so we've had like the pretty typical um bullking out, bull spaking out, being disrespectful, being crossing boundaries. Um, so like that's turned me off a few times before, but I think the most awkward or negative encounter happened after the encounter with the guy um at the club. Um during it was great. He clearly had been with cuckled couples before. I mean, it was a he they we learned some stuff from him. Um but the negative was after, like literally as soon as we left the club, I started realizing I was a little injured. Um I had he was a very aggressive kisser, learned what kind of kisser I do not like. Um but he had either cut or bit my tongue.

SPEAKER_02 32:22

You start with a lisp a week.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Yep, I had a lisp for a week, did not realize it when it happened. Um I learned to look at fingernails. Um he had very long nails, so I had a good couple scratches on me.

SPEAKER_06 32:36

Um right.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

It was it's fun when you expect it. I didn't love being bruised by a stranger for a week and a half. Um so I definitely look at nails now. And then the and he is not aware of any of these awkward moments. Um we are, but we also learned added to the list to know where the condom is at all times. Um I thought I saw him throw it away, but it was just the wrapper. Uh we uh found it the next day.

SPEAKER_02 33:16

Twenty four hours later it fell out.

SPEAKER_01 33:18

Yep. What what?

SPEAKER_04 33:20

Where was it? With this, don't tell me it was like you almost were lingered on the bed or something.

SPEAKER_06 33:24

No, no, I think she says anything different. Oh, it fell out. Yep. It was in there.

SPEAKER_01 33:30

Yes, it was there.

SPEAKER_04 33:33

Yes, yes, yeah, it happened next too. Like a year ago, right? Well, I could I couldn't believe it. What was your thought? See, when this happened, were you freaking out? Because I was.

SPEAKER_02 33:48

Well, I mean, um, I'm glad it happened when it did because it was about an hour after we um got back from my parents' house.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

And I wasn't wearing underwear the whole day.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

Well, I was kind of relieved it happened after we got home. I was like, well, I have to explain why you're still a little crampy.

SPEAKER_01 34:08

Yeah, I thought I was sore just because of him. Um it kind of was, but wasn't exactly what I thought. I think I Steve was more entertained by it. I was a little angry.

SPEAKER_02 34:23

Yeah, I we had to get a little we had to help her calm down a little bit. I was like, that's just a bad experience. I just gotta chalk it up. We gotta kind of just be more aware.

SPEAKER_06 34:32

Yeah, well, also, I mean that bull. I'm sorry, fuck that bowl. For both of us, on behalf of both of us, that is part of his responsibility to make sure where the fucking condom is because we're a little like distracted. Like, that's part of his responsibility. I'm sorry it is. And when he fucking doesn't, like, that's so wrong.

SPEAKER_01 35:01

Yep, yep. So he he's now on the do not do again list.

SPEAKER_03 35:06

Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

Do not fly list.

SPEAKER_06 35:11

Um so moving on. Looking back now, what advice would you give the couples who are curious about care if you're serious, excuse me, but terrified to take that first step.

SPEAKER_01 35:25

So I would say start off slow. If you were scared and terrified of, you know, what could happen? Um, start off slow. Um, with me and um Steve, we were he was already uh self-exploring that. And so we just started off, you know, kind of casual with it, not a lot of rules, but talked about what we were and weren't okay with. Um and so we just started off just us.

SPEAKER_02 35:57

Everybody has their own speed to do things, it's a marathon, not a sprint. Um, yeah. You start off with just strap-ons and dildos if that's more your speed, and then you can kind of work your way up. It just everybody has their own pace of doing things. Don't don't rush into it if you're not comfortable. If you want to experience, start off slow if you're not sure.

SPEAKER_06 36:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

100%.

SPEAKER_04 36:20

So, what has this lifestyle taught each of you about love, intimacy, and yourselves as individuals?

SPEAKER_01 36:26

So, for me, I've definitely learned that I can be a leader. Um, I'm I still have my days where I'm not super confident in it, but um, I've definitely felt more empowered, not just in our dynamic, but in our regular lives as well. Um so it's it's helped me grow as a person and I think as a partner, um looking more into what his emotional needs are, not just physical.

SPEAKER_02 36:58

Yeah, and um I I would agree with that too. And um I'm a little bit more attentive as well. Um definitely know how to communicate a a lot more and a lot positively and often. Um we we check in with each other pretty much daily.

SPEAKER_03 37:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:17

Um, not only with the dynamic, but within our marriage as well, how we're doing, how's everything going on your end, and everything like that. So it's you gotta get and you gotta have that trust. Uh it took us a few years, you know, to get to the the full cuckold dynamic, but but that's kind of I think really in my opinion, that's the way it should work, so you can get the trust part first and then explore. Because if you don't have the trust, it's not gonna work. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:42

Yeah, no, a hundred percent. Well, thank you all so much. Do you have any final thoughts you want to leave our listeners with or anything you want you want to plug? Any any what your website, your pet life, anything like that?

SPEAKER_01 37:54

Um, mimplugs. I think I just really want to thank you guys for your podcast. Um, it's helped us a lot. Um, learn what we're looking for and learn how to communicate um uh I think more effectively. Um him hearing your side of it, Chris, has I think helped him a lot through um his feelings and everything as well.

SPEAKER_02 38:21

Yep, uh, I would definitely agree with that. And um everybody wants if for anybody that wants to just jump in and do it, be just be honest with your partner. That's all it takes. Um and then if it's a no, if it's a soft no, maybe try again later. If it's a hard no, don't mess up the relationship. I mean, it it is what it is.

SPEAKER_04 38:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 38:47

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 38:48

Completely agreed, and thank you for the kind words. I mean, we we really are a relationship podcast more than a tech podcast, where we talk about how to build these good dynamics that can um that can lead to everybody, you know, getting getting kind of uh in in the space they want to be. So thank you all so much. We're gonna go through some listener questions, and you all are welcome to weigh in if you have thoughts. So I know this one is super long, Lexi, but this guy has been waiting for like two weeks for me to answer to ask this, so I'm gonna read the whole thing for him. So, this is a question from the United Kingdom. Um, hi Lexi, I recently found your podcast. I wanted to say it's awesome. Keep up the great work. Um, fast forward, uh, let's see here. Um, we here to answer the messages, but hopefully you get the time to read this one. Years ago, my wife and I swapped with another couple uh for about three years. We moved out of the area and never swapped again. I got as much excitement from knowing my wife was playing with another guy as I had with his wife. So they were swapping, but he liked knowing that the wife was playing. Fast forward many years, we regularly role play with her being taken by another guy, even holiday, and she likes to wear just great anklets on the right side. I regularly told her that I'd love to hear with another man. She's always been non-committal. So I've been chatting to a guy. Okay, so here's the question. So here's the here's here's the question here for uh for all of us as two couples. I've been chatting with a guy with a bull for almost a year now, who I feel I trust, and and we have organized for him to bump into us while we are away on a mini-city break. The aim being to see if there's a connection between them both and to see if anything might happen. I know if I say I want her to meet someone, she will likely get defensive and say no. The question I have is should I tell my wife what I have planned or bump into this guy, have a few drinks, and see where it leads? I should also add he's booked a room with the same hotel we are sitting at to make things easier if she decides to turn fantasy into reality. Um, so let's uh let's uh let's uh deal with that one first. Um that's that's just the first question here. So so the question is he's been fighting with this bull on the side. Could he arrange a chance meeting, you know, get her a little bit liquored up and see what happens? My initial thought is don't fucking do that. That seems like manipulative and like a setup, unless your wife has given you the go-ahead. But I mean, I'm not I'm not a woman, so I'd love to hear from the women like how would you feel if if feverized that to you? Would you be caught or not?

SPEAKER_06 41:26

I'd be pissed. Yeah, so it's just controlling. I mean, I can understand why he would come at it from from that angle. I can understand why he would do that. Because as a coach, I talk to both men and women from both sides, and so I can understand where he's coming from, but at the same time, that is a breach of trust, and it's not gonna go overwhelm with her.

SPEAKER_04 41:55

No, just just just don't don't do this. Like if um or if you are gonna if you are gonna do something like this, you have to have her prearranged, it has to be within your boundaries. If you would say, hey honey, what if one night like we did this? And if she gives you the go ahead, then she might not know the night. But she has to know that it's like she had you have to get a yes from her. You can't just bullshit like that, yeah, behind somebody's back. It's not cool, it's not gonna end well. What's your thought?

SPEAKER_02 42:26

Uh I mean it kind of circles back to the trust issue, and that's kind of that's breaking your trusting the trust, uh, for sure, 100%. Yeah, if that that would be that'd be a hard no.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

If that was a conversation he had with me beforehand and brought it up, that'd be pretty hot. Uh not knowing about it, not so much. But tell me ahead of time. That sounds like a good time.

SPEAKER_06 42:50

Yeah, exactly. Uh otherwise it's just it feels like control and total manipulation, and uh it feels like you're not trusting her to make her own decisions. Um yeah, I I feel like it not only poisons that night that you had potentially planned, but it also poisons any future nights that you have out together. Because anytime a guy comes and hits on her, she's gonna be wondering, did my husband pick you up for this?

SPEAKER_04 43:23

Yeah, okay. You're gonna you're gonna fuck it all up, man. Don't don't do that. No bueno. Okay, the second question uh did not have a location, but I think this one is is is is for us, but typically obviously because the question is, how often does Chris get a release from the cage? Well, I am so glad that somebody cares. Like we have we have people rooting for me to get out of this team of things.

SPEAKER_06 43:46

Never if I have anything to do with it.

SPEAKER_04 43:48

If you were to it would be never, but it has to be quite regularly. If you were to meet me in the grocery store, odds are I am not in the cage at that point in time. It's more of a at home, when appropriate, kind of thing. And if we are outside um and it's in it it's within a controlled manner, it's like part of our game, right? Like is that fair?

SPEAKER_06 44:08

Fair.

SPEAKER_04 44:08

Although you would have me in a 24-70 clock.

SPEAKER_06 44:11

No, not really, but you know, I mean, exactly the time.

SPEAKER_04 44:16

75k.

SPEAKER_02 44:17

Wait, are you are you case, Steve? Yes, I am. Uh more often than not. Usually about usually about five out of the seven days a week. Gotta give it a break here and there, but it's most of the time. And it's usually even even out and about at the grocery store, work, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 44:33

Yeah. What do you two? Last question, this is not a listener question, this is a Chris question. What do you two like about teaching us so dang much? Like, what I I get what Steve and I get, like, I get it, the test perspective, but what do you two like about it so much? It seems like you're into it now.

SPEAKER_01 44:48

Um, so I uh I love that I have that control. Um it it is mine. I literally can wear the key around my neck whenever he is caged. Um and I can say I'm the one, the only one who's allowed to touch it. Let it out. It's a power thing, I think, a little bit. It's mine.

SPEAKER_06 45:16

So same, same sort of vibe. I mean similar question, similar circumstance, similar vibe. It's about how you don't get to decide when you're out of the cage. I do. So why why would I not cage you whenever I freaking feel like it or when you deserve it?

SPEAKER_04 45:38

Yeah. Exactly. All right. Well, that was a great assignment. All right. Well, thank you both again so much for this interview. This was awesome. And so I'm so glad that our first guests on this podcast were another couple. Um, that's not to say that that singles can't have an amazing time and being part of this lifestyle, too. It's just, it's just cool that we're a couple and we had another just happenstance, and I think it's pretty cool. Um, I think what really Yeah, thank you both so much. Absolutely. And I think what really stands out every time we talk to real couples, um, and this is our first time on the show, but obviously when we talk to real couples, is the emotional and personal, and it's how emotional and personal this lifestyle actually is. People on the outside, and you all mentioned this, think it's only about sex, but really when you listen to these stories, you realize it's about trust, vulnerability, communication, desire, fear, excitement, all of it mixed together in that wonderful blender of emotion that I keep on talking about. So a huge thank you to um to Steve and Kita for being so open and honest with us tonight. And to everyone listening, thank you for spending part of your night with us or part of your day or your morning drive or whatever. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure you follow the podcast, like us, please leave us a review and a rating, um, Apple, Spotify, wherever you're listening, and share it with somebody who you think would uh like to connect with these conversations. And don't forget, if you want to reach out to us directly, send us fan mail. Um uh and uh you can also reach Lexi Robot Coaching, um, all of that good stuff on cuckholderslexi.com. And um, all right, everybody, we will see you next time. Thank you so much for being with us tonight. Lexi, you want to say bye to everybody? Bye.