How We Handle Boundaries, Bulls, and Communication

In this episode of The Cuckold Marriage Podcast, Chris and Lexie dive deep into one of the most important parts of the cuckold lifestyle: boundaries, bulls, and communication. They discuss how healthy cuckold relationships are built on trust, emotional honesty, reassurance, and clear communication — not just fantasy and sexual excitement. From choosing the right bull to handling jealousy, emotional check-ins, and relationship boundaries, this episode explores the psychology behind making cuckolding work in a real marriage. Chris and Lexie also answer listener questions from around the world about emotional vulnerability, teasing, shame, power dynamics, and the deeper emotional side of cuckold relationships. Whether you’re new to cuckolding, exploring a female-led relationship, or already living the lifestyle, this episode offers raw, honest insight into building trust and connection through communication.

Lexie's Website: www.CuckoldressLexie.com

Email Us: Podcast@CuckoldressLexie.com 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 1:17

We're going to talk about what works, what absolutely doesn't. And why communication can either make this lifestyle intoxicating or completely destroy or relationship? So get comfortable and let's get into it. Let's start by introducing my subby Chris.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Thanks, Lexi. So good to be back. I'm Chris Meadows here with Lexi Meadows, and um we're excited to be with you today to talk about this really exciting topic about it's about boundaries and bowls and all that kind of stuff. And um I think it's a critical conversation because if you don't get this part right, everything else kind of crumbles around it. So if you don't get the right boundaries set up, how you're gonna interact when you introduce other people to the relationship, the whole thing just doesn't work. So before we get into that, let's go ahead and start with a couple of announcements like we always do. So first of all, thank you so much for supporting us through um through writing fan mail and giving us questions and giving us ideas for topics and just giving us feedback in general. You know what's amazing, Lexi, is we get feedback from all over the world, and there's a couple of things. Number one, couples are watching together, which I think is really, really cool. How many actual emails we get saying, hey, I'm I'm I'm listening to this or I'm watching this with my wife. That tells me that we're um we're presenting something that that is really striking the nerve in terms of just relationship dynamics in general. I I get a lot of people saying, you know, thank you for giving a voice to this, you know, to my inner thoughts, which are which are really cool too. And then there's a lot of compliments about our dynamics, um, which is which is nice because I think we try to just be fun here and be a little bit more casual. But we need more of your feedback, we need more questions, we need more confessions from you as well. So please just click on the note that says send fan mail, send us a voicemail drop um with a confession, send us a a note with a question. If you're watching on YouTube, it's podcast at cuckholderslexie.com, send us a question, send us a thought. If you have an inquiry, you want to get in touch with Lexi about coaching, that's the way that you do it. It is all through reaching out to us that way. Secondly, want to make sure that you are all having access and getting more personal with Lexi through her Fansly page. So your cuckholdress Lexi on there, but the best way to find her is actually just go through her website, cuckholdress Lexi.com, and then that'll link you back to her fansly, get some fun videos, some fun kind of just a little bit more of your kind of more risk-caste side, right, honey?

SPEAKER_03 3:53

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 3:55

A little bit more of that. So, guys, I I know that you're all gonna want to hear that. And finally, make sure to follow us on Blue Sky Social at cuckholdmarriage pod on Blue Sky Social. All right, let's get into the topic for today. So, today we're gonna be talking about boundaries, bulls, introducing other people, all those kind of things. So we're gonna kind of ping pong back and forth. So, Lexi, I'll ask you the first question, then you can ask me one, and we're gonna kind of go back and forth. So, first of all, when we first started exploring this lifestyle, what boundaries felt most important to you emotionally at first? When we first started, what were the boundaries that you felt like they were really important to you?

SPEAKER_03 4:31

Well, for one thing, um, Lexi does I care. So uh there was I I've made it very clear that if we were going to be having any sort of um openness in our relationship, that it was it was not gonna be both ways. Um I was not open to swinging, I am not open to tearing, and and that was important to me. Um I don't really care how people some people feel about like first, I don't give a shit. I don't care. Um, that was something that was a um non-negotiable for me. And thankfully, uh Chris was all about it, and he didn't want to be with anyone else and didn't have any desire whatsoever to um cross that line or um be with anyone besides me forever. And so I'm like, well, great, that works perfectly. Um so that was a big one. Another one was I could just add on to something.

SPEAKER_02 5:31

So like I I think that, you know, to be clear, like it wasn't like selfishness on your part, right? Like I asked for this specific type of dynamic.

SPEAKER_03 5:40

You did.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

So in this type of dynamic, you don't need to share, right? Like I'm the one sharing in this dynamic. So it's not just it's not a desire that I had. It's not like I approached you and said, Hey, let's let's but what do you think about swinging? And you said, Hey, I'll I'll have more coin, but you don't get to. That's not the way it went down. And not only that, you know what I mentioned this on the last podcast. You said initially, hey, I just want to be clear, like I don't need this. Like, I don't need other men, like I'm good, like you know, it wasn't like you were going out there and asking for all that kind of stuff. Like this was this was me initiating that. Like I want to make all that like super clear.

SPEAKER_03 6:15

Yeah, no, absolutely it was. And um, but you know, something that I I hear um often in my coaching is um a woman's first suspicion when a man brings up, hey, um, what do you think about this idea? Her initial thought is this is a trick. And you're just trying to, you know, convince me to go out. Like you can then go out. And um, you know, and I'm not okay with that. Uh, which is totally funny. But um, you know, that's that's something, you know, just men be aware, that's something that it's probably gonna pop into uh not always, but um it it didn't really pop into mind initially. Um like this is a trick, it's you know, I'm being set up. But a lot of women that does immediately pop up, like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. You don't actually want a stat vixen cuffold cupold cuffolders relationships. You want you want me to go out so you can go out.

SPEAKER_05 7:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:21

So and and that's obviously not usually the case. Usually the men that come forward with this are like, no, no, no, no, that's that's not all that I want.

SPEAKER_02 7:29

Yeah. We're not trying to we're not trying to trick you, ladies. Like if if we say that we're into this Well, some guys are. Well, some guys are, but I mean you should be able to sniff that out pretty easy.

SPEAKER_03 7:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

Like you can you can you can tell somebody who is stag or is cuckled pretty pretty easy versus somebody who wants some fun on their own.

SPEAKER_03 7:48

And to the rare man out there that does actually pull this shit, shame on you. Don't do that fit. Don't be if if you want to if you want to play, just be honest from the get-go. Don't try and like get the relationship to evolve and then you get her to do another dude, and then you're like, Well, hey, you had some fun. Shouldn't I get some fun? Like Don't pull that fit. Don't do it.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

Don't do it. I could see a guy doing that.

SPEAKER_03 8:12

Yeah, yeah. Um, so another one, another one of my boundaries was, you know, I I said this early on, um when we started to get going and he was so excited about it. I was like, Okay, um, this is not gonna be the main show of our intimacy. Um, this is not gonna be everything that our sex life revolves around. I'm not okay with every time we're intimate, there has to be some talk of, you know, me with another guy or, you know, me trying to be the the wily cuckoldress, you know, like um this is an aspect to our sex life and it's fun and it adds so much enjoyment and variety, but it is not going to be the central feature that takes precedence over everything else. It's not gonna be every time we have sex, there has to be some sort of a cup holding element to it. So that was a big boundary of mine, and I I have seen that again in my curtain where um that becomes the norm to the guy. And let me tell you, fellas, girls they don't love that. Like if they are expected every single time that you are intimate or there could be a cup holding dynamic in it, they're gonna get tired of that real quick. Um, it does not necessarily need to be every single time you guys have sex or oral sex or get intimate. It it shouldn't be a forced performance on her part. Um, because most women don't want that. Most women sometimes they just wanna fuck. You know they just want you to fucking roll on top of them and do it and then and just be you and her and no talk of anyone else, and then you're done for the night. Um sexy as that is, that's the reality. There's something that um I think that guys need to grab a hold of.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

Yeah. Uh agreed. Perfectly said.

SPEAKER_03 10:25

Yeah. All right, my turn. So was there a boundary that you thought you needed at first, but later realized it was really coming from fear or insecurity?

SPEAKER_02 10:35

Pretty much all of them. So pretty much. So I think that when we first started to date, um, we first started to enter into this kind of relationship, I think we said like no pissing or something like that. I think that was kind of our first time. That went out the door like in 20 minutes. I think it's the first time we ever met a guy out. The first time we ever met a guy out, the guy who ended up being a bad uh remember we had the the the resum and he was not he was not great.

SPEAKER_03 11:05

I remember that.

SPEAKER_02 11:06

Yeah, so you kissed him, which was our first ever time. So that whole like no kissing boundary lasted about 20 minutes. I think we had initially what else uh the mother boundaries. I think we initially like said like no spending the night with other people, but like that wouldn't go.

SPEAKER_03 11:20

I mean I think the kissing thing that was kind of a one-off, and it took us another six months before we brushed that again before I brushed that again. He was fine with it after that. He was like, you know what? Never mind, it's fine. But um, you know, I I was I think the stickler for that. Um and that's okay. You know, sometimes uh not everything is linear in this dynamic. Sometimes, you know, you maybe do something and then maybe decide, uh, wasn't the best idea, or something like that. Just in general is a is a general thing.

SPEAKER_02 11:55

Yeah, yeah. No, I think those were the boundaries that I kind of became more flexible on is those especially the kissing. Now I love the kissing. I think that's one of my favorite things that you do because it's so intimate.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

Yeah, no, you crisp for that more than it.

SPEAKER_02 12:08

I love the kids.

SPEAKER_03 12:09

That was your boundary.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

And that's one thing that you have a hard time with because that's the last thing that you do with a guy.

SPEAKER_03 12:14

Like if you were if you have to really, really like Yeah, it's it's a very intimate thing to actually exist. And so, yeah, I mean, definitely. But like you said, also the overnight, you know, that was um a boundary of yours, but it did take us uh a little while and not long, but yeah before we um decide to overcome that and do that. And like we've talked about in the podcast before, you had your freak out. But then afterwards you were like, That was the best. Oh my god, let's do it again.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so Lexi, one question that I have is how do you make sure, like, what is your green flag for a bull being safe? Because I know that in this flesh cell in particular, safety is is a concern. Um, and we want to make sure that you're safe. So, what is a green flag for m for you that a bull is actually gonna be safe and and okay to be part of a member?

SPEAKER_03 13:03

One thing you never know for sure, that's why you always bring the text in girls. Um, we're talking taser. I'm just saying. Just saying. Girls listening. You always, when you're first meeting someone, you meet them publicly and you bring a taser that has like the alarm on it and um all that good stuff. But things that I look for when trying to feel out a new bowl. Um, I look for uh for what they pushiness is like an immediate no-go. If they are pushy with me, um yeah, I'm sorry, that is your one-way ticket uh out of the chance of being with me. Um, pushy people are not in my world. I like patience, I like respect, I like boundaries respected, and um it's non-negotiable. Also, you know, green flag would be sending pictures that are not glasses 40 feet away, you know, things like that, things that basically scream I'm in a committed relationship with a woman who has no idea what I'm doing and I'm trying to get some play on the side. I want to push that with a pencil.

SPEAKER_05 14:21

Right.

SPEAKER_03 14:21

Like, no, thank you. Um, go be trash on your own dime, like or on your own time. Like I'm I'm not interested. Um also being respectful um to to Chris um or whatever cuff that I am considering him for. Um immediate crash talking and then just an over eagerness to just talk crash to or about um the cuff is an immediate red flag. There's something wrong there.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

If it comes right away. If it's part of like a thing that's a little bit different. Right.

SPEAKER_03 15:05

But I'm talking before we've even gotten to the thing, I have I've seen that. I've had symbols that are like immediately like, yeah, let's see what, you know, pathetic little you know, whatever like all these bad things. I'm not gonna say them on here. But um I'm I'm like, whoa, dude, I'm sorry. Um Hi, by the way, my name is Lexi. You know, like we just met. Um things like that, that's that's signs of maybe a little conversation. Um also I have had so many guys think that it's totally cool for them to place for no protection. What the fuck is that? I'm sorry, what is that? These guys are like, Oh, I don't use condoms. And I'm like, Okay, well I don't use you. Like, what do you mean you don't use it?

SPEAKER_02 15:57

And and it is a thing in this dynamic that I've heard actually guys say, like, well, it's because it's not Fairback, if you're not eating out like a cream pie, like it's not real. That is so stupid.

SPEAKER_03 16:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

And so dumb and real life.

SPEAKER_03 16:12

I know everyone is like on birth control and you know It's just dangerous. It's dangerous. It's out there, like protection, you know, for me personally, for us, that's something that we take into account because we don't want our lifestyle to get in the way of our living. And so we wouldn't want something like that to prevent us from um you know, living the way that we're used to. Um, also last thing, willingness to meet in public without expectations. So I, you know, sometimes things are a bit transactional and I get that. But if I am assessing able that I am actually considering wanting to see multiple times, maybe have more of a like intimate relationship with, um if he is not willing to meet with me for fucking coffee or lunch or dinner or something in a public place without expectations that I'm going home with him immediately that night, not always the best night. Again, it was that's a fan. Um if I'm not worth your time to have dinner with me first, then maybe you're not worth mine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:36

Hear you.

SPEAKER_03 17:37

My curse?

SPEAKER_05 17:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:40

Do you think most couples talk enough about emotional boundaries? Or do they focus too much on physical roles?

SPEAKER_02 17:46

Well, I think in particular, guys focus too much on the physical because that's where a guy's head is. So a guy a a guy is always gonna think about the physical stuff more than the emotional stuff, I think. And I think for women, sometimes that may potentially be the opposite where um where the emotional takes precedent. Am I am I wrong about that?

SPEAKER_03 18:06

No, I think you're absolutely right. I mean, a lot of guys are um self-aware enough to have the emotional um boundary, the thought that's the emotional boundaries. But a lot of times, no, the physical comes first.

SPEAKER_02 18:19

But I think that more than that, guys I think are and and guys who are in this dynamic, guys who are cucks are probably a little bit afraid of some of those emotional pieces. So, like it's scare it's scary to think that your partner could actually get emotionally attached to the other person. But that can actually happen, right? So this is like my next question to you is around like what a red flag. If I asked you what green flags are for a bull, what's a red flag?

SPEAKER_03 18:42

Well, I mean, the red flag in this case that we're talking about would be for the cup. So, you know, a lot of men have this fantasy, and it's a legitimate and awesome fantasy, but it's not meant for everyone. Um, and so sometimes it should just be left in the fantasy realm. Um, I have come across it multiple times where guys are like, I want my wife to go out and fuck these dudes. But she's not allowed to have a single second of emotional attachment.

SPEAKER_05 19:16

Right.

SPEAKER_03 19:16

She's not allowed to think any romantic thoughts, you know, like she's not allowed to swoom, she's not allowed to be wooed, she's not allowed to have any emotional connection whatsoever, even temporary. And there is a line, of course, of course there's a line. Um, you don't want her, you know, falling for and running off of some guy that's a little different, but expecting her to have absolutely zero emotional investment, um, even temporary, in a guy that she is literally fucking, um, is not realistic. And you know, if you're if your thought is, okay, well, I'll just counteract that problem by she's never allowed to fuck the same guy twice. Maybe that's not her style. Not every girl wants to just constantly be out fucking a million and one dude just one way after another, like that. You know, like most girls are not gonna be up for that.

SPEAKER_04 20:14

Right.

SPEAKER_03 20:15

And it's totally not taking her into consideration if if that's your thought process. You know, a lot of girls they they might be interested in, you know, meeting one or two guys and maybe just being with them multiple times or something. Um so if if your thought is you can't be even emotional uh even temporarily emotionally impressed and influenced by this guy for a second, then maybe this crucial lifestyle is it for you. Maybe it's best thoughts in the fantasy realm. And there's nothing wrong with that. There's there's all sorts of fantasy and role play. I mean, this this lifestyle is so I mean, flexible and maneuverable and and able to be taken to different places. So it doesn't your girl does not have to actually physically be with another man for this to be fun and exciting.

SPEAKER_02 21:14

Yeah. And if there is emotions involved and you're okay with that, like know that you will have a reaction. Like you will get you will get jealous, you will, you know, feel insecure, like those things are gonna happen, but i if you have enough confidence in your relationship, it doesn't like shake it at all. Right? So like I have felt like that before. Like there's been a couple times you've swooned over where I felt like that. But I knew you weren't going anywhere. Like it not not even for one second was I like, oh my gosh, someday she's gonna leave. Like I wasn't really worried about that. Um, I mean, maybe someday it'll get to that point where where we will need to have that discussion, but it hasn't for us. And you know, I highly doubt it.

SPEAKER_03 21:52

I was gonna say, what?

SPEAKER_02 21:53

I highly doubt that ever wishes.

SPEAKER_03 22:42

Have we ever had a communication mistake or misunderstanding that caused an important lesson?

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Um, yeah. So um so we go back and forth. We like go back and forth between this like no communication to communication kind of thing.

SPEAKER_03 23:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:00

Um and so like if we're not super clear about that, that can lead to like the trip-ow. Like yeah, where it's um because sometimes, you know, I'm clear where or where it's like, okay, let's not do seconds tonight. Let's, you know, and and that and that makes it like easier for you because you don't have to worry about picking in.

SPEAKER_03 23:18

Damn right, I'm busy.

SPEAKER_02 23:19

And fun for me, but then sometimes, you know, like I'm not feeling it. Sometimes I'm like feeling like more of that angst than I'm like, hey, like, just update me just a little bit. Um and there's been a couple times where that w where that that snafu hasn't happened. And part of that is just because we we go back and forth between that, you know. I don't think it's like it's definitely not like you're trying to be a trick or anything like that, right? It's just it just really not, never.

SPEAKER_03 23:43

What?

SPEAKER_02 23:44

We just miscommunicate, right? So it's just miscommunication.

SPEAKER_03 23:47

Um especially when we do what like flip back and forth.

SPEAKER_02 23:52

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we probably just need to get it just depends.

SPEAKER_03 23:54

It's a weekend, it really does.

SPEAKER_02 23:56

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 23:57

I feel like for us it it depends on a variety of factors that are personal to us as to whether that night he feels like having communication or not.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I know for sure. And so I think the key for us on that one is just communicating before every kind of outing.

SPEAKER_03 24:19

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 24:20

Because every outing is gonna be a little bit different. You know, sometimes you go on a dinner date, sometimes you go, you know, hang out with somebody and you spend the night, sometimes you um go do something fun during the day. Like it's just it's totally different. Like, if you're rafting on a river or floating down a river, I don't expect you to be checking in with me, right? Like if you're on a date with a guy. So like it's it's just kind of different, um, you know, how how it how it goes. But anyway, so the next one is just about and I know we've talked about jealousy before, but what do you what do we think kind of collectively as a couple where you can see jealousy go from like, okay, this is fun to okay, this is bad? I know we just had an ex an episode on Pike Gang, so we're not gonna go deep into this, but just kind of in the theme of kind of these boundaries, like when do you scoot on that line on boundary? Like, can you tell with me when it's starting to go off the rail, like in terms of my jealousy?

SPEAKER_03 25:15

Um, I it can be hard to tell sometimes, but um, I think the healthy jealousy is the kind that is natural but can be suppressed by the gribe and desire for the rest that comes with it with the the lifestyle. And then the destructive jealousy is the kind that keeps you up at night and that can potentially take your relationship into a downfall because you're consumed by it and all you see is red type of thing. Um you're starting to second guess everything she says. Your secondary tone, every time she gets a ping, you're like, Whoa, who's that? You know, I I think that that can be destructive jealousy because that can destroy a relationship and it makes her feel like, what, you don't trust me? Like, what the hell?

SPEAKER_02 26:13

Yeah, no, I agree with that. I agree with that. So, um, let's go let's go to this one, Lexi. How do how do we handle emotional tuck-ins before and after life experiences? Like what do we what do we do around tuck-ins? How do we do that?

SPEAKER_03 26:27

Um, I mean, I I think that oftentimes I rely on you to let me know how you're feeling and you you're not shy about it. You you let me know exactly how you're feeling before an experience and then um so I I often in in our relationship I don't have to in the beforehand ask you, how you feeling? How you doing? Um you will let me know if you are feeling a little antsy. Yeah. Um afterwards, it it's more my job to read your body language, read what you're saying, um, how you're saying it. And you know, it's my responsibility to see if I feel like there's anything there for con you know, cause for concern. Um you know, ladies, we we do have a responsibility to our clerks to make sure that they have not become overwhelmed with anger or jealousy or anything like that or fear that they're being replaced or anything like that. So um I think that, you know, especially afterwards, it's our job to read their their words and their body language and try to see if we can see any sense of that. And then um, you know, not everyone is like Chris, where they will tell you ahead of time, all right, I'm feeling really this I'm feeling kind of that beforehand, you know, on those rare occasions. So um, you know, it also is our responsibility to read that same those same cues beforehand and offer reassurance instead of just teasing um if necessary.

SPEAKER_02 28:22

Yeah, and I think men, you have to remember that that your partner is not a mind reader. So if you don't tell them how you're feeling, and trust me, like when you're in fantasy mode, like this all seems awesome. And it is. It's pretty awesome. But like when you're active in like when she's with a bull, like there is emotions that will happen when that happens when she's with another guy. And you've got to be able to express those. Don't just bat them down or pretend like they don't exist. So make sure you're actually calling out those emotions and and bringing them to her attention because you may need to adjust something going forward.

SPEAKER_03 28:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:58

Okay, so let's see. Um, I know that we're talking about jealousy. One question that I have is how do you practice reassurance, reassuring me, making sure that I feel like I'm still a man?

SPEAKER_03 29:06

Well, for one thing, uh in at any given time, if something is feeling uncomfortable, uncomfortable, or too much for you, um you know, ladies, that's that's a time to say, okay, all right, you know what? We don't have to do this. There's no pressure. It's not like because you, you know, probably were the one that introduced this whole dynamic and um you know, one of this, it doesn't mean that, hey, sorry, you're on a roller coaster, trap the fuck in, we're doing this.

SPEAKER_04 29:37

Right.

SPEAKER_03 29:38

No. You can stop at any time, including right before meeting with a bull. Um so reassuring him that um this is not in stone, we can stop. We can stop this night that you know you're fierce about to meet with someone, which is the whole relationship. If this is something that you have come to the realization that is not for you and you wanted to try it, you you were really about it, and you've realized it's too emotionally painful, it's too this, it's too that, that's okay. You know what? What matters most is our relationship, not the dynamic. So um reassuring that we can stop at any time and also reassuring that there is no one out there that can replace him. You are with him for a reason. You know, whether you're married or you're just in a relationship, you're with that person for a reason. They matter most. Um no one can come between you.

SPEAKER_02 30:39

Yeah, a hundred percent. And I mean, you do that so well. Like, see, we I think we have time for maybe two more questions, then we're gonna hit listener questions. Uh was there one? Yeah, let's uh um let me ask you this one. What's the mi what's the biggest misconception that people have around boundaries and cut old relationships?

SPEAKER_03 30:59

That if there are no rules, it means you're not in. Um What do you mean? Well, a lot of people think if you if you play things where rules are boundaries, then it means you're not fully into it. And that's BS. I mean, this this lifestyle is is made for you to put forth those rules and those boundaries ahead of time. Um it's it's safer, it's better for the dynamic, the relationship. If you put them forth ahead of time, um, it doesn't mean that you're no fun, it doesn't mean that you're not all in. It means that you can be totally into this, but still have some boundaries that are important to you that to be respected. So I think that that's something that people tend to think.

SPEAKER_02 31:45

I completely agree with you. So a lot of folks who live in that fantasy realm, a lot of people who might be considering self-wannabes or even bull wannabes, especially I see this from I think it's actually more from from wannabe bull than wannabe cut. Is that they just think that they can just use you for whatever the hell they want to do, and you're gonna just I and I by by you I don't mean you specifically, honey. I mean I I I mean they can use the wife, right? Like they can they can just do whatever, they're just gonna be rough, they're gonna call you names, they're gonna pull your hair, they're gonna do all this stuff, and then the cuck is gonna sit in the corner tied up, blindfolding Katie. Like, it's just it it's just not not reality. Um, and so I think that's that's critical.

SPEAKER_03 32:27

Yeah. Um, if a couple taste about this lifestyle but nervous about crossing the line, they can't uncross, what advice would you give them before they begin?

SPEAKER_02 32:36

Ooh. Talk to somebody else in the lifestyle. So book a call with Lexi. I'm not gonna like I mean that's that's literally the right answer for this is talk to somebody. Shameless plug. Shameless plug, cuckholderslexi.com, book a call with her. Because if you're not a hundred percent sure, and frankly, book a call with both of us. You know, guys, if you want to talk to me, you know, reach you know, reach out through the through the website too, because I'll tell you exactly what it's like being the guy and the emotions you're gonna go through.

SPEAKER_03 33:05

It's actually damn good at counseling and coaching.

SPEAKER_02 33:08

And and and Lexi can tell you that too, you know, what it's really gonna be like. And I think that's um I think that's the most important thing. You can read a bunch of books, you can all and and a lot of them just that they're they live in the fantasy realm. Um don't watch cut porn as just and and think that's what it's gonna be like. You know, it's it's just it's not like that in real life. There's actually emotions in real life. Can you think of anything else?

SPEAKER_03 33:34

Well, uh yes. Um so when couples are worried about um or one partner is worried about crossing a line they can uncross. Uh the thing is is that there is no rule that says that you have to start at level 50. Okay? Start small. Start from the ground up, build your way up. That's the right way to do it, really. Um you cry and cross lines as you get closer to them and start feeling more comfortable with them. Um, it is it is a journey, it's it's not a destination. And so um there's a rule that says that you can't start small and slowly start to approach lines that maybe you're like, ooh, I don't know. You can get close to those lines to see how those lines feel before actually crossing them. And if you build your way up to where you're getting at least adjacent, then great. I mean, that means that you are have a better idea of if that line's gonna be crossed or not.

SPEAKER_02 34:35

Yeah, for sure. I I think the the takeaway from this conversation is set good boundaries to start and reassess those boundaries often, as often as like, especially like any time there's gonna be like a night out or a scene or somebody else is gonna be involved, like even if it's just you two and you're fantasizing, you're doing role play. Always do a boundaries check-in. And then when you're involving another person, like look for those red and green flags that Lexi was talking about, because you have to be careful. Like the fantasy is is one thing, but you also have to be careful with the person that speaks you love. And you have to make sure that that everybody is safe within this dynamic. So let's go ahead and move to some um some listener questions that we actually.

SPEAKER_03 35:24

I think we only really have time for one.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

Um let's see here. Shall we? Let's let's try let's try to get let's try to get two in here if we can. Um okay. So this one is from well, let's let's see if we have time for one or two. Let's swim from Denver, Colorado. Um, so my husband and I listen to your podcast together. Like I said, there's a lot of couples that listen. It's like really cool. Um, so our our my husband and I listened to your podcast together during road trips. And it's um road trips, how many road trips do you say?

SPEAKER_03 35:53

Yeah, like I mean they go to all the national parks.

SPEAKER_02 35:56

Right. And it's and it's open and it's opened up conversations we never thought we'd have. Um, what advice would you have give couples who are curious about exploring power dynamics but are terrified of changing the relationship forever? So in other words, I think these these folks, yeah, I mean that's a really good question. So they're not doing it, but they heard this, which is interesting because we're we're actually charting on on the on the relationship chart, not just like the chart around cup holding. So I could see and a couple who is actually not in this dynamic listening. So what advice would you have then on great half of them about this? Lexi, do you have any advice?

SPEAKER_03 36:29

I mean, I I I hate when you put me on the spot. Let's see. Um a lot of a lot of what I just said actually applies. Um that exploring the power dynamics that scares changing the relationship forever. Bit by bit. Like literally, don't you don't have to take giant chunks. Just like take little bites. Um, I I do have a book and I don't have it with me right now, but it's from Mild to Wild. Um control and something. Something you're talking, I don't know, it's been uh it's been a while, but um, you know, they give you ideas of ways to slowly develop that dynamic. Um at first for the for a long while, just between the two of you, um, to start to get your feet wet and and see if the dynamic is a good fit for you guys. It's really an exciting dynamic, and so you can stop at any point, but I think it gives a lot of ideas on um how to maybe start uh changing the dynamic in a way that can push you closer to getting to where maybe your cuck holder cuck holder is.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

Yeah, a hundred percent. And it will change your dynamic. Like that, like that's that's a fact. Like if you if you enter into this into this type of lifestyle, like your dynamic is going to change. Um, you know you're gonna be introducing new people potentially even. So your dynamic is going to change, if you all.

SPEAKER_03 38:08

Even if you don't introduce other people, it will still change the dynamic.

SPEAKER_02 38:12

Yeah, yeah. Um okay, let's try to hit one more quick. Uh this one is from Sweden, actually. Stockholm, Sweden. That's cool. Um, what do you think? Why do you think some men become obsessed with anticipation and t and teasing more than the actual experience? For me, the buildup almost feels emotionally addictive. I totally agree. Sweden. Like, I I am so with you here. Why do you think that is, Lexi?

unknown 38:37

I guess.

SPEAKER_02 38:38

Yeah, I I guess this one's more for me, right?

SPEAKER_05 38:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:41

I don't know. Well, first of all, once you how can we put this delicately? Once you reach the top of the mountain, and then that part is over, and that is a very short-lived high. You know what I'm saying? Once you come, once you climax.

SPEAKER_03 38:56

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

And so I was starting to be a little bit more, just like gentle there, but again, this is like a cuckold merit podcast, so we can't say once you come, it's over. But look, the anticipation, the lead up for me, because this dynamic, you said it perfectly, this dynamic of the game. So in this game, there's a lot of different moving kind of pieces. It's almost like a choose your own adventure book. So every couple pages, you get to decide, okay, what's my next move in this game, until you reach the end of the book, and then the and then the story might potentially be over. But with Lexi, it never is because you're so good at like the aftercare and the teasing after and all that kind of stuff. But for me, the buildup to that is awesome, and actually the the the tale, the afterkin, all that is awesome. I would say the sexual part is awesome too, but this is how awesome the whole experience is. That's the least awesome of the awesome. If that makes any sense. Like that part is really fucking that part is a ten out of a ten, awesome, but everything else is like punching above its weight, like it's above a ten. Does that make any damn sense at all? No. So in other words, it makes no sense. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_03 40:11

No, it does.

SPEAKER_02 40:12

Um just the anticipation is awesome. I know a lot of Tucks love it. So, anyways, we are running short on time for today. Um, but you know, I think one of the biggest takeaways of this conversation is just again, like I said, just set those boundaries correctly, you know, from the start. And don't just dive into it. Don't just one night be like, all right, we're gonna go do this. We're going to like a a sex club tonight.

SPEAKER_05 40:36

Bring home a man.

SPEAKER_02 40:37

Or just bring home a man. Like that happens like all the time.

SPEAKER_03 40:41

It does. And you know what? Sometimes sometimes it goes well.

SPEAKER_02 40:45

Yeah, sometimes it may go well. Sometimes you may just have a good night out and like it craps. Like sometimes sometimes But do you want to roll that dice? Like, why roll that dice? Like when you know what the outcome is gonna be.

SPEAKER_03 40:56

Right.

SPEAKER_02 40:56

So plan ahead, plan ahead until next time.

SPEAKER_03 40:59

Discuss those boundaries.

SPEAKER_02 41:00

Discuss those boundaries until next time. Stay open-minded, stay connected, and keep communicating with each other. That's the key. Keep communicating. Let's see. Well let's divide everybody. Stay later.