The Fantasy Men Want But Rarely Understand

What is it about cuckolding that captures so many men's imaginations? Why do some fantasies remain exciting in theory but become far more complicated in reality? In this episode of The Cuckold Marriage Podcast, Lexie and Chris sit down with author Gabriella Lovelace for an honest conversation about the desires, emotions, misconceptions, and realities behind one of the most misunderstood dynamics in modern relationships.

Gabriella shares her perspective on why so many people are drawn to these fantasies, where expectations often clash with reality, and what couples can do to build trust, communication, and emotional resilience before taking any major steps. Whether you're simply curious, actively exploring, or already living the lifestyle, this episode offers insight, honesty, and plenty of thought-provoking discussion from one of the community's most engaging voices.

Gabriella's Book: https://a.co/d/01Dv97n4 

Lexie's Website: www.CuckoldressLexie.com

Email Us: Podcast@CuckoldressLexie.com 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hello, my lovelies. I'm cuck culturist Lexi Meadows, and welcome back to the Cup Hold Marriage Podcast. Today we're joined by an author whose stories have captivated thousands of readers by exploring desire, power, fantasy, and the psychology behind some of our most intimate thoughts. Gabriella Lovelace has built a loyal following through a unique ability to blend erotic storytelling with deep conversations about identity, relationships, and human nature. Whether you're a longtime fan of her work or discovering her for the first time, you are in for a fascinating conversation. So get comfortable, open your mind, and let's dive into the world of Gabriella Lovelace. Uh first, let's welcome in everyone's favorite cuck, my subby Chris.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

Thanks, Lexi. We had a uh we had a long night last night, which may or may not be a podcast story at some point. So we're we're excited to be here this morning, but a little bit tired, right, Lexi?

SPEAKER_00 0:55

Uh, dragging. My my brain is um it's not come back online yet. I've been chugging water and coffee, and it's still, I just feel like it's buffering. It's like the spiral of death, but I'm trying.

SPEAKER_03 1:06

But we are excited about this episode because um we are joined by somebody from across the pond. Uh, so we're gonna introduce Gabriella in just a second here. And uh before we do that, though, just a couple of quick reminders. Number one, they're they're the same three, so we're gonna keep on repeating the same three, Lexi. Number one is uh follow you on Fansly. Um, and you can do that by going to cuckholdresslexie.com and getting some of uh Lexi's good content. You posted a couple of updates from last night, didn't you, Lexi?

SPEAKER_00 1:32

I did, yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

Yes, they were good. Yeah, definitely go check out her because one of the best things about our fansly, and Gabriella, you may have heard this, is that she po she posts updates of her dates on our fansly, and that's how I find out what's going on. Um, it is just a savage way to cuck, but it is makes good for great content and it makes it's fun for me. So follow Lexi on Fansly number two. Um, send us fan mail. We like to answer your questions. And uh number three, follow us on Blue Sky Social at the cuck hold marriage pod. And now let's go ahead and bring in Gabriella. Thank you so much for being with us all the way from the United Kingdom. My pleasure.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

Delighted to be here. I'm a fan as well. So yeah, uh I'm thrilled to meet you guys.

SPEAKER_00 2:13

Well, now we've we've read your your book, and I mean we are big fans of yours. This is amazing writing. We're so impressed with it.

SPEAKER_03 2:19

Yeah, and and I talk about um following us on Blue Sky. That's how I found you. Um, is that you had posted some stuff about your books and I and I reached out to you because they looked so different. Um, they look different than any other kind of erotica I had seen. So for our listeners who aren't familiar with your work, can you just tell us a little bit about yourself and your background and how you got into this uh kind of work as an author?

SPEAKER_02 2:42

Sure, yeah. Uh so I've been writing since forever. Um, just uh just kind of you know bits on Facebook and uh uh you know, the kind of uh little thoughts, ideas, uh what was going on in the world, and you know, sometimes stories that I thought were funny and um uh things that happened to me. I always write a diary when when I go on holiday and write, you know, some of the kind of the crazier adventures that that happen. Um and uh the first uh erotica book uh that I published was back in uh 2022. Uh that was a feminization uh book and it it was it was just full of angst and I got addicted to that that angsty stuff. Oh, it's just it's something else, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 3:26

Yeah. So I mean what first drew you to writing stories about cuckolding feminization and the female led dynamics and instead of a more just traditional romance erotica?

SPEAKER_02 3:37

I guess the short answer is that that's what floats my boat. Um I really I really into that. Um I went briefly into the uh cuck holding um uh lifestyle uh for a while and uh uh loved it. Um and uh that was back when I was a bit more of a uh manly man. I know it seems impossible because I'm so masculine already, but uh yeah, back in the day, once once upon a time, um I was a cuck too. Uh and yeah, just loved it. And I I I I had all the the angst stuff as well, and uh yeah, uh I I've never forgotten it. And I I I still find that like a massive thrill. Uh and the feminization stuff, you know, because hello the trans thing. Um and uh uh yeah, the yeah, just uh it the writing it is is just a a thrill to to get that all of that lovely angst um build up. Oh, it's just yeah, the best.

SPEAKER_00 4:36

That's interesting.

SPEAKER_03 4:37

That's really interesting, and that's what really drew me to um to your specific book that we're gonna talk about in a little bit, but to your writing in general is that you really focus on the psychological aspect of cuck holding, which I think is the most exciting part. The the aspect of almost you're in you're in a horror movie, right? It's it's um there's suspense. You kind of feel like you're in danger, but you're not in danger. You know, so talk about why you focus on the psycho the psychology of cuckolding and and what that means.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

I I totally agree. It's it is the it's that lead up, isn't it? It's the it's not so much the act itself, I think, that is that's certainly not the most fun bit to write. The fun bit to write is the that uh intoxicating potion of um of kind of horror and uh and delight all mixed together in this like compel and and lust as well, on this compelling kind of uh uh uh drug-like thing that is just it, I find that the best thing to write. Uh that you know, where the uh the cuck is is you know waiting to see what's happened and uh and the the cuck old dress is is you know sort of getting it's getting more and more and more, it's getting closer and closer, and you know, uh you don't it it's it's all that that bit where you know is what's the guy gonna be like? Is uh you know, is he gonna like have a really big dick? Um and uh is he gonna be like really built? Is he gonna be sort of tender or is he gonna be really passionate? And yeah, so all of that stuff that that angst both from the uh the cuckold and the cuckoldress, I think that's the that's the bit that I think is so exciting.

SPEAKER_03 6:21

Yeah, I I completely agree with you. And I think that um I think here's where some of the cucks who want to write the entire story um beforehand, and I don't mean the kind of stories you write, I mean the the many still be Steven Spielbergs who are in a cuckold relationship and they want to tell their their wife exactly what to do and direct the entire scene. That to me removes a lot of the excitement because losing control, letting go of control, I think that's part of the psychological aspect. Do you agree? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

Yes, yes, yeah, that that's that's so true. And uh uh so this is where uh your podcast and listening to uh Venus's podcast has really helped me understand um that uh that because obviously I've just got my single experience, um, or that just the few times that uh that uh I I went into the lifestyle proper um to rely on. So I've you know, I I've loved hearing your podcast. That's really helped me. Um yeah, so uh the uh but what was the question again?

SPEAKER_03 7:24

It was just around the the it was just gosh, I forgot what the original question was. It was just more deeper into psych the psychology of it, but I I think we've nailed that. It's just it just really is. Oh, I remember the question. It was a lot of cucks like to direct the entire scene, and it's it's less it's less fun that way.

unknown 7:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Yeah, that's that's it. Yeah, so I've heard the same thing uh uh uh before. And I I think that that that's the bit that I think that uh that I hear that people are doing wrong is they're not letting go. They're not realizing that when you when you venerate the the cuckoldress, when you you're worshipping her, she gets to control things. That's that's the and I that was part of what really inspired me to write this particular series was because uh I thought that although it had been said, it hadn't been illustrated. And I thought I I felt really passionate about writing that story where it illustrates what I understand uh the cuckoldresses are telling us. So that that thing of where there's they're saying, look, you need to let the woman control this. Like you can't be like, you know, I'll let you control it except for this bit, and I'm gonna film this bit in this way and this way. I want to control it. No, no, no, no, no. So once you give over the control to to the cuckoldress, that's you. You then take a back step and you just have to enjoy it. You have to enjoy the show. That's your thing. She's in charge now. Female-led relationship. F. It's it's all, you know, that's that's where it is. Um so I think that's where the what I hear that the cucks are are doing wrong is is being too pushy, being too pressurized. Uh, and there uh and I I really thought maybe I can make a difference here. Maybe I can write the story that says, here's here's how it would work if it the cuck was really well behaved and uh the cuck could, you know, talk to the to to his wife, his girlfriend, and help her, you know, reassure her about all of the the danger aspects that that he's taking them seriously. All of those things that I think I I think that I've understood um from your guys, from uh uh Venus, uh, you know, um uh some fantasies that I've been reading in in books, that's the bit that I thought I really want to explore that.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

Yeah. I I think that's that's very true. And I, you know, I do have seen that a lot. Um not with Chris. Chris is great about you know letting letting me be the cuck holderess and and do my thing. But um, you know, I think that sometimes some men do struggle with giving up that control. And the thing is is that if you if you don't actually give that up, it kind of uh almost cheapens the experience because you don't have that same curiosity and wonder and and angst of like what's gonna happen if you're directing the whole damn thing. So uh definitely um so Gabriella, what do you think uh most people misunderstand about the appeal of submission, humiliation, or surrendering control in a consensual relationship dynamic?

SPEAKER_02 10:36

So I think uh I I really thought about this this question. I found this one quite quite a difficult one to to uh to answer easily. But I think it's uh really to do with that um at the very core of it, uh uh that you're you're releasing control. You're things that you should be in control of as a as a man, as a woman, you know, that you're you have roles that are predefined by society, and it really subverts that. It's a way of taking a step back, uh like like almost no other way, uh, so that you're you're saying, you know what, I'm I'm I'm gonna take such a step back that I'm gonna like enjoy someone else fucking my wife. That's you know, so that you're not you're not doing it at all. Even better, the more like superior he is, the more like, you know, the bigger dick, the more like buffed, the the taller, the the more macho. That's almost like um uh so I know it's it is humiliation, but it's like releasing that thing of, you know, oh I have to be, I have to be that guy. And you're not, you're you're saying, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna watch and I'm gonna enjoy another guy do that for me, and I'm gonna really love it. And it's and but it's and the other side of you is like, no, no, no, no, I'm not allowed to do this. This is really wrong of me to do this. You know, she'll she'll fall in love with him and run away. And uh, but that's that's where all of the angst is, and you know, and I I just think that's delicious.

SPEAKER_03 12:13

Yes. Amen. Just so well said. And I think that's why so many male readers identify with your male characters. What is it that you think that those male readers are kind of seeking through through your characters? Because I I know I when I was reading the book we're gonna talk about, I was living vicariously through that character. Um, what do you think males are are seeking out in your in your writing?

SPEAKER_02 12:38

Uh I think they're seeking out um at the very start, I have a little intro for the cuckoldress, a little intro um for the cuckold. Uh I think I I say for uh I don't say for the cuckoldress, I think it's uh just in case this first time readers looking at it and they're you know trying to get their their wives, girlfriends into it, because I I understand that's the usual way around. Uh I made it a little bit like, you know, kind of for for the for the ladies or something like that. So they're not reading it and getting put off straight away. Um but uh yeah, at the start, um I I say, you know, if you're if you if you want to know the key, there is a key to doing it, and I'm going to tell you the story of how you can do it. This is, you know, this is the perfect behave cuck who's going to, you know, do all the right things that where she's going to be like, oh, this is this is interesting, that's not going to be pressurized, he's going to avoid all of those pitfalls. Uh and he's he's not perfect, so you know, he make he does make mistakes, otherwise he'd be a boring character. But um, so he does, he does cock up. But um uh but he's going to do it mostly right. And I thought that would be a really interesting. So I think probably a lot of guys would be would be interested in that as the as the the buy-in. But also I I know it from the guy perspective because you know, once upon a time I was, you know, I was a proper man, I was a real man, as they like to say in uh in cock old stories. Um well, but I don't think I would go that far, but you know, I was I was a man. Um and so I know I know the the the draw, you know. I I I once had, you know, uh my wife on the other end of the phone, and you know, she was with her lover, and you know, I've done the that thing of like putting the dick in the home. Uh that thing that is like that is a go-to memory on uh on a quiet evening alone. Um and uh yeah, so I know all of those things. So I can write the the guy because I was that guy. Um so I I know that. And I I hope, I like to think, but I I hope that um some of the the the trans woman stuff, uh, you know, which is the the journey that I'm on uh now, uh not there yet, but you know, on the journey. Um I hope that uh that uh that I can uh uh get some of the female aspect as well, you know, from from that understanding. I I know what it's like to take a dick. Uh I I really enjoy that. That's that's a that's a lovely uh pastime. Um so and I know what it's like to to you know think about guys and to see it from that that that angle. Um so yeah, I I hope that um that there's something there for for both uh both sexes. That was the intention, was to try and make it uh more accessible for women, because I think a lot of Cockle stories are very focused on the male reader.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 15:34

Uh and I I really wanted something that would that the that a woman would be able to pick up and say, you know what, this is this is sexy. I could get into this.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

Yeah, absolutely. And I think you did a great job with that. Um how much of what you write do you think reflects real world real world relationship dynamics versus pure fantasy?

SPEAKER_02 15:56

It's honestly a mixture of both. Um there, you know, some of the stories are fantastic, some of them are literally fantastical. I've got a fantasy book, um, which is uh uh kind of more of a feminization book that I've been working on. Um uh kind of stuck with that one at the moment, but um uh yeah, so uh I do um uh the yeah, uh sorry, what was the question again?

SPEAKER_00 16:22

Um how much of what you write is My My brain is doing terribly today.

SPEAKER_02 16:25

I'm sorry about that.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

Well, you're you're in good company because mine's not working very well. Um what how much of what you write do you think reflects real-world relationship dynamics versus just fantasy?

SPEAKER_02 16:36

Thank you. Um so yeah, that uh I use my own experience uh quite relentlessly. Uh I have done a story with the uh where the the cuck is putting the the the bull's dick in uh in the cuckold dress uh because I I remember it and I love that experience and I thought this is gonna be sexy. Um so you know I I totally steal you know my own experiences, my own feelings. Uh I learn from uh you guys, from Venus, from uh uh uh people's fantasy stories, uh Gillian Anderson's uh uh story, uh Want. She's you know loads of women's uh fantasies that uh some really long, some really short. Really fascinating reading, brilliant uh book. Um uh so that that all goes into so I hope that for me the best porn to watch is um porn where where it looks real and it looks like she's really loving it. It's when she's like smiling, laughing, you know, giggling, where she's really enjoying it. I think, oh, that's that's for me. That's what I like. I like to see it where it's genuinely real and and people are really enjoying that time. So I wanted to get the all of the angst, all of the feelings, uh, if not, you know, all of the story. I wanted that to be as real as possible, to really nail just how people are feeling in that moment where, you know, uh, where, you know, she's getting ready. You know, that it takes a while to for you know women to to get ready for for a guy. And I wanted that to be, I didn't want it to be like, you know, oh, they're just going to have sex. So in it pops, you know. Uh I thought, well, no, it's it's got to be that all of those things they've got to feel like real life because that's what I like.

SPEAKER_03 18:27

Yeah, I I agree. And the getting ready part is amazing when your wife is getting ready to go out. So one of the reasons that we wanted to have you on is because you recently wrote this book called Becoming an Interracial Cuckholdress, and you loosely based it both on Lexi and on Venus. So, how did you decide to, you know, why did you decide to base a book on Lexi and Venus and their their characters? How does it show up in because the main characters of your book are Mike and Lisa and Tyrese? And so Lisa, the girlfriend, is loosely based on Lexi and Venus. Can you talk about that and what aspects are based on those two?

SPEAKER_02 19:04

Yeah, sure. So it's more um, it's not like your specific characters because you know I don't know you, um, but it's uh uh or or Venus, but it's it's based on uh things that you you you guys have said, and I've thought, oh, that's I need to remember that. That's an important thing. So she's said that you know that this is this is something to learn, this is what she likes, this is what she doesn't like. Um this is these are the risks in the a cuckolding lifestyle. These are the because you know when I was when I did the went into the cuckold lifestyle, I didn't really think about it either. Um, you know, that it it it's and I was I was you know typical cuckoo is like, oh let's just let's just do this. Let's, you know, uh fuck condoms or whatever. Let's just, you know, I'm really ready. Let's let's go, go, go, go, go. And it's like, no, no, wait. You've got to, you know, you got so it's not so much your characters that uh went into it, it was what you said. Um that I thought she's she's it's got to be the the the female perspective. And it's got to be from, you know, you're experienced in the lifestyle. I'm not really, you know, I just had uh, you know, a a short, you know, so six months or a year of uh uh being in the lifestyle, although I still love it. I would I would do it again in a heartbeat. Um but uh yeah that it it it's uh I wanted it to be reflective of what what you say. I that was really important to me, that your your view came across. So that's the aspect of um I I hope what came across in my stories.

SPEAKER_03 20:39

It did it did. Um when I was uh when I was reading the story and the advice um that was going back and forth in the dialogue between Mike and Lisa, I heard Lexi's voice. Like I was like, oh my gosh, that sounds exactly like you would something you would tell to one of your coaching clients, or that a conversation that her and I would have. So I was I was cheering on that main character Mike because I was like, dude, you're you're you're nailing it. And the their their dialogue back and forth. It was a it was not only a hot book that was a turn on, it was an instruction manual. It was very, very well done. That's that thank you.

SPEAKER_02 21:15

That's exactly what I was hoping. That's exactly what I uh I thought I need to market this as an instruction book.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:20

So I'm I'm so pleased to hear that.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

This is this is such a good book, and I am I look forward to reading more of your books. Um without giving too much away, because obviously we don't want to do that, we want people to read it, but can you give us just a broad um, you know, tell us about the story without giving too much away?

SPEAKER_02 21:38

Sure. Um, so it starts off with uh in the the tr almost traditional way, isn't it? That uh where uh the cuck is uh like surfing the internet and um uh and uh looking at cuck old porn and you know, really fascinated by it. And then he starts to let slip a little bit, uh saying, you know, so just so when you had like previous boyfriends, what were they like? Starts going a little bit too far until she starts to twig, going, uh, so what is this about? Are you You're really interested in like previous boyfriend. Are you are you gay or something? You know, what's what what's the deal here? Um, and so he gets busted and he's like, Oh god, this is this is really embarrassing. I mean, I have to just admit this, right? I've got this fantasy, I really love it. Uh, and so she's because he he approached it as like, you know, kind of uh without saying, I've got this fantasy, I want you to do it. He doesn't. He's he's saying, Look, I've got this fantasy, it's a bit like you know, it's uh I'm sharing something of myself here with you, which is quite, you know, a vulnerability me to to impart. And she's she is uh accepts that vulnerability and uh listens to it and is like, well, we can we can maybe have a little play with this in a in a fun, safe way. Um and so they decide that they're going to meet up in a bar and they're going to pretend to be strangers. So a nice safe thing. They've they've figured out all of the guidelines, what they are allowed to do, what they aren't allowed to do. Uh they've looked up all of the safety measures in place, and then it goes really wrong.

SPEAKER_00 23:15

So you've been thinking about it, but turning fantasy into reality takes more than curiosity, it takes direction. I work with couples and individuals to guide you through the conversations and dynamics that make a cuck holding relationship actually work. Those first conversations and introductions to your fantasy are especially critical. Done right, it changes everything. Done wrong, it can break it. If you're ready to do it the right way, book time with me at cuckholderslexie.com.

SPEAKER_02 23:52

That's the that's the stories. They get to the bar and they meet that they they don't meet each other first, he's not there. Another guy sits down opposite Lisa, who is much better looking, much more charismatic, really, really compelling character that she's just like she gets a lady boner. Yeah. And uh the it the the rules are tested.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:24

I it it's it's just a fantastic story. It really had me on the edge of my seat. And my favorite page, though, in the entire book, it's page 35. Because page 35 in the book is where Lisa asks, you know, do you really like this stuff? And Mike says, honestly, it tears in my very soul. Um uh my heart fell through like my body like an empty void. Um, but then he goes on to say, but it's like an agonizing stab, but I love it at the same time. And I thought that was so accurate, is that blender of emotion. And so that was my favorite, my my favorite page in the book. When I read page 35, I was like, that's it. Like you nailed it, like you get it exactly. Um but what I like about the book is that you put the female character Lisa into a dominant cuck holder's position without making her seem like a character of dominance. So how do you how do you do that? How do you, when you're creating a dominant female character, what separates the truly powerful woman from a caricature of that dominance?

SPEAKER_02 25:31

I think it's because uh I I I I'm really pleased that it comes across like that. Uh, I'm absolutely delighted. Um, so yeah, thank you for that. Um I think it's because I see it through her eyes. Uh I don't see it through his eyes projecting as to the the dominant woman he'd like to see. It's not that, you know, uh that uh it's Mike who's imagining. So what would I love in a dominatrix who would, you know, sort of do all those those kind of you know cool dominating things to me. No, it's seen through uh her eyes. She sits down at the bar. She's, you know, like sort of a bit turned on, thinking, oh, this is this is kind of sexy. You know, I know Mike is here somewhere, but you know, I don't know where he hasn't. Maybe he's gonna like tease me and come in a bit later and let me linger here a bit and you know, kind of tease me. Um yeah, so it but and when she sees this guy, it's it's that you know, so everything is seen genuinely. I I imagine I I am the character, and I I take it in turns with the points of view, and every chapter has the the name of the point of view so that it's it's it's clear who you're seeing it through. And I s I when I when I have to take a a moment when I finish a a chapter uh and um uh I I just you know think right, okay, now I've got to be Lisa. This is this is Lisa's perspective, this is what she wants, and what does she want? And of course, you know, it's it's complicated what she you know, she she ultimately she wants to be desired. I'd love to talk about that in a sec as well, if I get a chance.

SPEAKER_00 27:07

Yeah. And let me just say, I really loved that about the book, that the different chapters are different points of view. Like I thought that was really, really smart and I really enjoyed that. Um thank you. So out of curiosity, what's what fantasy or theme uh do you think is becoming increasingly popular right now that most people that are outside the community haven't really noticed yet?

SPEAKER_02 27:31

For me, I think it's the um I think that it's the the kind of the the reality, that that bit uh that you talk about as well, where you're stripped a bit raw to the to the emotion. When you're when you're talking um about you know how you then uh reconnect with each other, how you uh you think, you know, you you go through what happened, there's something there that I think is really fascinating, that bit where because guys are told since they're very small that they've got to bury all of their emotions. Um and they, you know, they they can't they can't talk about that. They've got to, you know, and that the the strong silent type, you know, that's that's the attractive guy, isn't it? That's the guy to aim for. So that thing of uh guys being vulnerable and admitting their emotions, talking about uh what's really going on, how their heart is uh like being torn by you know what's happening, how they're being you know, thrilled by it, how the it that because it's so stripped, I think that's the the bit that I think is um the the new bit that I it's all everything else has been done before. The bits where you know, oh, there's a a a delicious black bull, and don't get me wrong, that is my cup of tea. I I love that. Um uh so uh uh yeah that uh but I think that that's that's the really interesting, it's it is the emotion. It's the bit where you're living in the mind of someone who's going through it. I that's that's the bit I think is that is where it's going and where where I love to be. That's the bit that I really enjoy.

SPEAKER_03 29:12

And frankly, I feel like that's kind of what our podcast tries to do is we try to, through the eyes of a married couple, almost do what you do in your book, right? Is that we're talking about a lot of times Lexi and I will be telling a story and we'll ask, what was happening in your head? What was happening in your head? And so, you know, your book just felt so real. I I know you said you wanted to go back to something about discussing around desire. Uh, do you want to touch on that? Oh, cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:42

Um, so I think that the uh uh here's the thing that I think is really uh kind of that that really piques my interest about cuckolding. It's that um that it's how enhancing it is for the woman. It's the it's that thing of I think that uh so that you know that slut shaming thing where it's like, you know, a woman that sleeps around is therefore less valuable. It's the I think it's the opposite way around. I think it's almost too obviously the other way around because we desire people who are desirable. And that's the thing that's why I think there is a huge draw to to cuckolding is because I think that uh that a woman that's that is attracted to lots of guys, where lots of guys are attracted to her, her status in the guy's mind is heightened, dramatically heightened. I think it uh I try to impart that in the book to say uh, you know, that he desires her more and more. It's not that he's he's thinking, oh God, isn't she, isn't she, you know, slutty or no, no, no. He's thinking, this is hot. She's hot, she's desired by all these other people. Uh, you know, I I I want her more. That's that's that's the thing about the desire that I think outside of cuckolding, people uh I don't think they've cotton on to that. I think that they're you know, we've put this this um tarnish over women that are that have high sex drives. And I I think it might be that jealousy, or I don't know, I don't know what it is, but I I think women uh are kind of like caged in that unfairly. Um so I I think that you are all the more desirable, gorgeous, um, Lexi, for you know, the uh I and I I I totally get why Chris is like over the moon with you in it, you know, I get it.

SPEAKER_00 31:38

Yeah, so sweet. Yeah, I think that was all very well said. I mean, I agree entirely.

SPEAKER_03 31:43

Um I I got this one. So um if you could just recommend if you were to take a vanilla wife and have her read just one of your books, which book would you recommend somebody kind of kind of your starter pack book for all those for all those cuck husbands who are like, how do I how do I get something in front of my wife? Um what would you recommend?

SPEAKER_02 32:03

It would be your book, the one that you read. It would be the uh becoming an interracial um cuckoldress. Uh it would it would be that because um I think it it starts at the start of that um the the the the draw of and I don't think it necessarily has to be about cuckolding or about feminization or about any other any other kink. I think it's the that um being non-judgmental with your partner, listening to uh what they they're really into, and uh just you know thinking, well, maybe I can do this for them in a way that works for me. Um I think that's that's the bit that I I would I would love people to take away from that first book is that it's it's not really about that particular kink, it's about kink and it's about relationships, about that communication. I know that uh you guys talk about that all the time, and and that's so true. It's it's you know, n suspending judgment of of each other and thinking, well, this is I've got to respect this because this is their thing, you know. That they should feel in a safe space with me if they can't tell me their little you know thing that they like, who can they tell? Um and we could do maybe some of their thing in a way that is, you know, that i is going to satisfy them and then bring us together. I think that's that's the thing. It's the togetherness that you get out of it. And uh yeah, I'm full of admiration for you guys. I mean, you know, I I hear you, and it it's it just sounds adorable uh the the way you are together. Oh thanks. We do love each other a lot.

SPEAKER_00 33:45

Um so writing writing fantasy is one thing. Um but you have, you know, clearly with this book, you have created characters that are um they they really emotionally connect people, you know. Well how do you build characters that the can readers can genuinely understand and care about so much?

SPEAKER_02 34:08

That's a good that's a great question as well. I think it's um uh sometimes they're kind of loosely based off like a number of people. Um and I I'll I'll think, oh that's that's really interesting. Uh they've got a you know a a a lovely character trait there that would, you know, be that I would love to read. Um and I I really care about the the characters, even the real arseholes uh in the book. I I care about all the more the sometimes the more of an arsehole, the more I enjoy writing the uh the the character. Um but um uh and and the the torturing them as well, all of the writing all of the thinking up really naughty ideas to torture a cuckold. Oh, that is just maybe I missed out a career as a dominatrix, I don't know. But I mean it's just it's just it's just fabulous. Um but uh uh I think most of the time the characters just emerge themselves as I'm writing, uh, you know, the uh Mike character, um he's sort of, you know, a little bit of me from when I was uh doing the cuckolding, uh a little bit of, you know, kind of a people I I know, people I've met. Uh he's quite shy, um, and he's a little bit tentative about it. You know, he's a little bit reserved, and I I wanted I wanted it to be, he needed to be a bit reserved so that she could come forwards. She needed to have uh a boyfriend that she respected and she thought was masculine, because I I hear that a lot as well. That they, you know, a lot of cuckolders interestes need uh the guide to be, you know, quite a masculine guide because there's no triumph in in cucking someone who's is already, you know, uh who's not uh who's just so so easy to cuck that there's no like you know, win. Uh so I thought that's that's interesting. Although in my feminization ones, uh that you know that that that goes really to a to a different a different angle, uh which I love as well, because there's there's nothing that can cuck you more than uh becoming the the female best friend. And I I'm I've got a thing for that as well.

SPEAKER_03 36:19

Yeah. Has it have any of your characters taken on a life of their own ever where you started out kind of thinking this character was gonna the book was gonna end a certain way and then it kind of veered off? Yeah, constantly.

SPEAKER_02 36:31

It's almost like shepherding them back into into play sometimes because uh I'll I'll start writing and then and I've got you the way I do it is I'll I'll plan out the story. Uh I know you know the the start and the middle and the end broadly, and then I'll I'll start writing. And uh sometimes they'll drift over and they'll start to get angry in places where they shouldn't, and I'll be like, oh that's that's ruined the story. So you know, wind it back, wind it back. Okay, no, that that was the turning point there. So yeah, often uh they go off on their own little adventures, and then uh sometimes I've had to delete like chapters, sometimes a whole book um where I've thought this is this is you know gone way off piste. I need to, you know, really bring this back. So yeah, often um they they go off on their own. And I I have to I have to stop them and go, no, no, no, you're bad. No bad, Mike. You need to get back into back into your cuck roll and and do what you're supposed to do.

SPEAKER_00 37:20

I love that. So what role do you think that storytelling plays in helping people explore um maybe desires that they may not yet be comfortable discussing openly?

SPEAKER_02 37:33

It's so secret these days, isn't it? Because you don't even need to have the paperback. And certainly my sales are almost all ebooks, although I do sell some paperbacks, and I'm I'm super chuffed when I do because um uh it's really touching to know that someone has got, you know, a a paper paperback copy of the book that they're maybe stuffing under a pillow, and like, you know, it's sort of when no one else is around that they're like, oh, let me have a little um but the uh with the e-books you can you know have a little sneaky read on the train. No one no one needs to know, you know, you could just sit there having a little little read of your naughty story. Um and uh so it does allow you kind of you know uh secretly to explore. And uh I like to to go into the the the emotional side of things, the mental side of things, because that does help to explore your own feelings. When you're reading someone else's, you can think, oh that's you know, and even if it isn't that that that particular thing isn't for you, it challenges you to think that isn't for me, but maybe there's something there that's for me, maybe there's something that I really like there. Uh like you know, in the uh in the feminization side of things, you know, it might be that you'd you'd read a book and think, well, I didn't like the that bit of it, but I liked that, you know, uh that there was you know this going on. I liked that that character was doing this, and um uh, you know, there's there's a lot of LGBT type activities that happen in my books. There's a there's a lot of man-on-man action, there's a lot of girl-on-girl action that you know, there's there's all sorts go on, particularly you know, cock or cleanup. It it wouldn't be a proper cock or cleanup if um if he didn't occasionally suck a dick clean. Um you know that's that if any that seems only fair. Um so yeah, that uh that that's that's what I think is so nice about it. You can explore something privately with you know just my voice whispering nausy things into your head.

SPEAKER_03 39:29

Oh, I love it. I love it. I I hope that all of our listeners have gotten excited about your reading because it's just another great way, especially for for for folks who are maybe still be living in the fantasy realm. Um, these books are fantastic, but better than stuff that you can find out there just in terms of getting your your head in there. I I think it's so much better than just cuck porn um because it really gets in your head. Um, so I would definitely recommend this. So, where can our listeners find your books and follow you and learn more about you? Uh sure.

SPEAKER_02 40:01

Um you can find me on uh Amazon, um Gabriella Lovelace. Um if you search in books there, uh there's me. Um and I've started to uh release to uh uh Apple and to you know uh all the other the other outlets as well. Uh not all of them are on there yet, but uh I'm I'm trawling my way through the through the catalog. Um and uh but yeah, all of them uh are on Amazon.

SPEAKER_03 40:26

Awesome. Well, thank you so much for for for being here with us and and chatting with us. We're gonna we're gonna do uh we got one listener question, but it's a long one. So I think are you gonna read this one, Lexi?

SPEAKER_00 40:37

Sure, I can read it.

SPEAKER_03 40:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

All right. Um, South Dakota. Awesome. So my question is really about how to bring up fantasies or any new ideas in the bedroom to a long-term partner. My wife and I have been together for six years, and like many couples, our sex life has had its highs and lows. Early on, intimacy was much more frequent, but lately it feels a bit stale and repetitive. At times it even seems like something we're checking off a list rather than something we're both genuinely excited about, and that's never how I want my wife to feel. When it comes to bringing up a fantasy, toy, roleplay idea, or even something more adventurous like cuck holding or swapping, I struggle with finding the right time to have that conversation. There never seems to be a perfect moment. On top of that, when I do bring up new ideas, they often feel like they're met with immediate rejection rather than curiosity or discussion. I understand we have different desires and an ideal sex life, but the immediate rejection is difficult to want to bring anything to the table for discussion. To be clear, I understand that any specific fantasy may never become a reality, and I'm okay with that. My bigger goal is simply to have a healthier, positive, and fun sex life that both my wife and I enjoy and feel comfortable exploring together. How do you recommend bringing up fantasies or new ideas with a spouse in a way that encourages an open conversation instead of an immediate shutdown? And for couples who have different comfort levels sexually, what has helped keep intimacy exciting while still respecting each other's boundaries?

SPEAKER_03 42:04

Yeah, I mean, we've we've answered similar questions, but I mean, I think it continues to be one of our biggest questions is how do I bring this up to my partner? And it's normally the man. Um Gabrielle, I'd love to get your opinion. You know, as an author, as somebody creative, you know, what do you think is the best way for a man to first bring up the idea to their spouse?

SPEAKER_02 42:28

I think I would ask exactly that question that was asked to you, to the wife. I would say, you know, I I love our sex life. I love what we've got together. It's, you know, that that's that's great. I'd love to explore other things, but uh uh, you know, I don't want to uh to frighten you with with things that sound uh you know like too much or or too you know too far or anything. Um I'd but I would love to to just you know to talk to you about it. Is there is there how would you like to be talked to about that um so that it works for you and maybe you know you would you you would m m perhaps have some things that you'd like to bring to the table as well. How can we have that discussion without it being like uh a a frightening discussion which is, you know, f full of potential arguments? I think I would ask that question.

SPEAKER_00 43:25

Yeah, I think that's um a a very good answer. I think that that um I mean I I could I couldn't have said it better myself. I mean I I the only thing I would add to um that beautiful answer would be maybe um since he he has said that she has repeatedly when he's brought up stuff, she just immediately shuts it down, you know. Um I would say something like Gabriella said, and I would I would say, you know, I I really want the chance to be open and vulnerable with you and you know, tell you maybe some things, some ideas that I was thinking might be fun. Um and I don't need a yes or no answer right now. Maybe you could just think about the ideas and ponder on them for a little bit, you know, and yeah, I don't need a a yes or no um, you know, just I I'd love the opportunity to be open with you and have you, you know, be open-minded and and consider um some of the things that I'm being vulnerable um about with you.

SPEAKER_03 44:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:32

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 44:32

No, no, I I I totally agree. I agree. I think it's uh I think it's a it's a delicate situation, it's a delicate operation, it's like diffusing a bomb.

SPEAKER_01 44:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:41

If you do it wrong, it's gonna blow up and it's never gonna happen. So um that is our only listener question for today. Before I hand it over to Lexi to close us out, I do want to really quickly give a shout-out to the Cuck My Life uh podcast. Lexi and I were uh were guests on it a few weeks ago. And just want to say uh to uh to all the guys on there, uh we we had Aussie, we had Hubs, we had Hopeful. Um, thank you. You guys are amazing and we really appreciate you. We love your show as well.

SPEAKER_00 45:09

Yes, thank you so much for having us. Um, Gabriella, thank you so much for joining us today. Um, this has been an absolutely fascinating conversation we've had about fantasy and storytelling and the deeper psychology behind um these themes we've talked about. Um for our listeners, guys, be sure and check out Gabriella's work and support her as an author. Um, we'll be sure and link her books and information in the show notes. Um, guys, if you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share the show with someone who might find it interesting. Those ratings and reviews really do help us grow and reach more people around the world. Um, you can also send us fan mail, follow us on Blue Sky at the Cuckhold Marriage Pod. And for exclusive content, um, check me out at cuckholderslexie.com. Um again, Gabriella, you are amazing. Your work is amazing. Thank you so much for being here. We super appreciate it. Um and such a pleasure.

SPEAKER_02 46:09

Uh and yeah, I I mean, I hope I haven't been too much of a fan girl because I love the podcast. Um, but yeah, uh really, really touched to uh to have been on. Thank you. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 46:19

Thank you, your doll.

SPEAKER_02 46:20

Thanks, everybody.

SPEAKER_00 46:21

Yeah, thanks everybody. Have a good one.

SPEAKER_03 46:23

Back soon.