Story | Rock Bottom, Struggle, Love, & Strength in Compassion | Jayson Seamans from UCC

On this episode of Build Arizona we'll be speaking with Jayson Seamans from Universal Collision Center. This episode is a little bit heavier than our usual, as we explore topics that hit close to the heart. Jayson shares his story from being at rock bottom, and finding the compassion of his wife giving him strength when life was scary and uncertain. Jayson runs a popular collision repair shop in Mesa, Arizona and does incredible work.

Visit their website today at https://universalcollisioncenter.com/ or see them in Mesa off of Lindsey and Main St.

The book "The Quilt Makers Gift" we discussed can be found here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0439309107?...  --- Jon misremembered a few details of the book, but the essence was correct. It's a great moral story for children and adults alike.

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Build Arizona is a space for folks in The Trades to share their stories, insights, and thoughts about what's next for Arizonans. While our content is local and regional specific, there are insights for contractors around the world. Join us and let us know what you'd like to hear about next!

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Build Arizona is brought to you by Bent Creative, Marketing for The Trades.

Visit Bent Creative at https://bentcreative.co

Want to be on the show? Apply at https://buildarizona.co

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

On today's episode of Build Arizona, we'll be speaking with Jason Siemens from Universal Collision Center. Jason and I are going to get into a couple of topics that are a bit close to home. This episode is a little bit heavier than our usual, and we'll talk about how these things shaped our lives and affected the way that we run our businesses. Looking forward to sharing our stories with you. Thanks for sticking around.

SPEAKER_03 0:21

For me now, it just came off natural. Like it just started just started speaking out, and you just start having a normal conversation because nobody's in the room, and then it just uh it just naturally flows. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

And then the red light comes on, and then you're like, oh no, I start to feel like I noticed it as I was like, uh position here, so let's go ahead and start.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

So why don't you drop a little closer to the mic there and then um maybe I because I'm start I'm scared of your feet now. So no, no, you're good.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

You haven't done it yet, but since you made the comment, I'm like one of us has to like close leg, the other one has to man's bread, you know.

SPEAKER_03 0:59

Yeah, easiest. Get too close there and then start touching.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

I can just put my feet up there, you know what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

There you go. I could give myself myself. Oh, that'd be fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:11

I did it on Mother's Day for yeah, yeah. So not for me though. Man, I did we bought like $90 worth of fucking oils and everything. And I had the little spa, and it's got like it sets to heat, and it's got bubbles and red light and everything. So she's all posted up. We're watching your podcast. Oh, right up. She's all posted up, and I'd be just massaging her toes out for Mother's Day. It was nice, it was the whole little experience. And then she did mine and she was not very happy about it. She was like, You gotta clean these things. No, mine get bad from the shop, so like just just uh what do they call calluses, just deep and they're they're rough, but yeah, it's it happens when you work 18 hour days and yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

For sure. Hey, pull a little closer here. Let's just do a check here. Yeah, you hear do you hear that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now you sound mainly. Uh uh start going.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

It gets away from me. I start getting okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

And I can change I can change your audio here too if you want. Okay. You good?

SPEAKER_02 2:14

Okay. Is that better? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:16

Do you feel comfortable? Do you feel like I feel like I'm leaning in, so maybe let's see. Is am I too far out? I'm gonna turn this up.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

Can you is it too loud or is it too quiet? No, but that's that's that's ideal. Okay. Is that better for you? Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

And then let me make sure.

SPEAKER_03 2:35

I've I've I make a lot of movement when I start getting a natural conversation, so I'm gonna try to keep myself back to the back to home base here every time.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

Here, I'm gonna turn you up just okay. So we should be at the same time.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

My ears are ruined from ears in the body shop, so you're you're gonna have to take a lead on that one.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

No, I mean it sounds good now. Uh I think we're good. Uh and then okay. Put that bad boy on auto. And then yeah, I should switch around here. Cool. All right. So uh yeah, let's let's uh go ahead and launch into this. Uh of course, as always, I'm gonna ask you to state your name for the listeners and uh tell us about uh Universal Collision Center. Uh and then I'll ask you about, you know, sort of how you whether you were born in Arizona or you came here. But yeah, let's go ahead and start with your name.

SPEAKER_03 3:33

Um my name's Jason Siemens. Uh and I thank well first, thanks, John. Thanks for having me on here. Uh, I'm pretty excited about this. But uh my name's Jason Siemens. I'm the owner of Universal Collision Center, um, family-owned, operated um a collision shop. Me and my wife run it, and my father helps out with the paint work and does uh the restoration side of things. And then I started hiring the um friends and um family of mine to um fill the positions that I've been you know acquired that they're confident and that they're good at. Um we pride ourselves in trying to make that environment, you know, the that environment of family-owned and fanning fun and in enjoying what you do. Um we opened in August of last year, and so we're in our what ninth, tenth month. And you're and you're busy every time I go over there. It's it's it's insane. It's a it's it's blown up a lot faster than what than I thought it was. And it's been fun. I I enjoy the work for sure. I enjoy being constantly busy, and it's a nice challenge. Um, I always have, you know. Um, but it's it gets to be overwhelming knowing we, I mean we've got a baby on the way. Uh July. Uh July, July 21st is the due date. So we're getting close and things are getting a little stressful. But um, like I said, the adrenaline and the and the being overworked is caught honestly where I thrive and where I do my best. So um I try to keep it at the excessively overwhelming level and constantly. But um Brie, uh Bree's my my uh my wife, my six and other, and she's she's starting to get to the point where she's stepping back a little bit because obviously, um, which she's she just she hates it. She wants to be there. She like she from the start, she's been there till like midnight, 1 a.m. with me, five, six nights a week.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

Well, your shop is so fun, dude. Every time I come over there, it's like I like I get that itch that I want to just like pick up a sander or something or just start working with it.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

I yeah, I got some some stories to show or like some media stories and stuff to show you recently. Uh Mario, my painter, uh, we go we go back like seven, eight years, and we're just it's like mayhem and just butterfly chaos with him all the time in the shop, and he'll come up with a beatbox or something in his arm and be, you know, just just having fun constantly, which is you know, nice if as long as you can keep a focus on work, but we've created an environment where it's that naturally flows, like we're still working, we're still enjoying we enjoy what we do, so it's not something that um takes away. You know, sometimes you gotta stop yourself and be like, hey, we've been talking for about 45 minutes now. We gotta get back, you gotta get back onto work.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

But you gotta have those breaks, you can't just cram everything through. We we do that here all the time, where it's like we'll pop into each other's offices here, and it's it nothing happens for 45 minutes, but you feel much better after and you turn your work.

SPEAKER_03 6:40

That's important. Yeah, I've I've been finding that a lot a lot more lately. Like even last night, um at towards the end of the night at the shop, I realized like shit, I didn't get a crazy amount done today, but I did reconnect on things that were kind of on fire. I I made, you know, I made amends on some of the things that were kind of not going well in the shop. I I said I talked a lot, but I made things flow back, but like got things back on the same page. And I was like, you know, I didn't get this, this, and this done. But now tomorrow I'm gonna get all those things done, tomorrow's things, and probably more because everything is comfortable looking. Every the fires are put out, the we have a game plan. So I've been realizing more and more that um those those taking step back moments are just as important as the on fire get everything done moments. Is this your first ownership position at a company? Um this is this will be the second. Okay um I I started a well, I purchased a um fabric, a side-by-side fabrication company in 2020. Well, it's 20 or late 2023, December of 2023. Um, RVD off-road. It was side-by-side cages, uh, doors, stuff like that, like just all the fabrication stuff that goes into it. Um and in the beginning, it was, you know, we kind of got it it didn't it didn't start well. We we we stepped into just a complete and utter mess. The the previous owner, I don't want to say anything bad on anybody, but sure we we stepped into some issues that we had to come out of quite a bit of out of pocket for. And it, you know, being as a first-time business owner, not just just making taking the plunge. I had no real background, I had no uh no one there to like say, hey, this is how you do it. I had no guidance. I I just I was actually looking into buying a rental house or something, and I was like, I have I have a hole burning in me. I need to do something, I need to make a next step. And it just happened to come up on like a marketplace post that somebody was like, Oh, I'm selling a fabrication company. And I it just clicked, I was like, I have to do it. I I have to do something. I've been wanting to do a next step of my life. I want to do a step into that side. Um, I've had you know, I've managed things like I've managed employees before as like helpers, but I I didn't have not the financial aspect, not the not the whole I could soon very, very shortly found out the the the the entirety of just the weight of how all that just comes down on you. It it was wild. Like I mean, the overhead, the it was just insane. I not only that, I didn't stop my job either. So you still have to fulfill. I I didn't stop my my day job, so I didn't even, yeah. I so I worked at the body shop that I was at for the the entire time that I owned R V D, as well as trying to make that work. So my wife Brie, she's she was the one that she was there every day. She was trying to get which again, less experience than me, less management experience, less ability, like a new, a totally new genre, new field. We have we've never been in a fabrication company, we've never been. I mean, I weld, I I do all like it's something we off-road like we're crazy deep into that world, but nothing, nothing we've really had full experience with. And uh it was it was disaster waiting to happen, to be honest. But we we we weren't gonna give up. Like we didn't, we didn't want to, we we couldn't, we refused to, which I have a lot of respect for her in that. It's it's insane. Like I was working between 12, 16 hour days, five, six days a week at the body shop, and then going after hours, if I even had time or anything, to just do like the cleanup and and the and the like, hey, let's do this for to the next day while taking phone calls through for the other business, while while managing the media for it. Well, it was my I didn't get a day or a second or a minute of just free. So it was just constant. And eventually that it caught up, it took its toll. Um, we we we didn't have much left in us. Um, we ended up I like it just one thing after another, mistakes happen, and when they compound like that, when you have nothing left in the tank, it it took everything down. Eventually, it got to a point where it was too much overhead, it was too much going on. Once we hit a slow season for the fabrication company, uh there was not enough money. I was literally covering all of the overhead, three employees pay, and an additional one of my friends was stepping in to to try to to help for free and and manage things and get things going with advertising for me. And the money was running out. I was paying for it all just through my job.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

You feel it burning, you feel it burning, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:02

Yeah, and I was starting to lose like I it was it made you ill-tempered, it makes it puts you on edge. I started to it started to get between my relationship, my friendships, my it it really took a toll. So once that kind of went under, um, we let the building go. Um we I ended up filing bankruptcy. Um there was a lot that came down onto that. I almost almost lost our house. We almost lost so much of it, like everything. I was unemployed for the longest amount of time I've been unemployed for since I was 19 years old, which is was four months. And I did there was like no real real hope in sight. There was not like it it took us from the the height it and nothing all the way down to nothing. Once the the company went under, I lost my main job, and the main job was was I was I was making a considerable amount of money. And and with that came, I was I was a little on the younger side, so I with that came a considerable lifestyle. And with that came a con very considerable amount of bills, and so once everything kind of came down, it was it was very quick once that became overwhelmingly too much. That's that's the big thing. It's like dominoes, it was yeah, yeah, yeah. And four months, um we both me and Bree, we both got to a point where it was fracturing our entire our our whole lives. We stepped back from literally everything. We took that four months, and then it turned into we stepped back from our friends, from our families, from everything for about a year's time. Like total ghost, total just we took that time to focus on me, her, and our son Aiden rekindling all that because uh, I mean, can you imagine from the poll running the one company working? There was no time for the family. There was none. So we took that year, um, it ended being like a year, year and a half from just just us three. Like we didn't leave house really much, we didn't go, we weren't going out, we weren't go, you know what I mean? We weren't seeing our friends. I think literally it was uh it was about nine and a half months before we seen anybody. And then we started like seeing one or two people or whatever to just start re-socializing. But in that amount of time, it it brought we were able to put a better foundation and reconnect on things that we uh we didn't even have in the ten year time we already had together. Like that nine months, that development to to uh and then that year, year and a half, we were able to restructure ourselves and put our priorities of what we wanted from our family, our connections, our friendships, and what we wanted from life laid it out together. It's something that we didn't really we we had, but it it wasn't like the concrete foundation, it wasn't something that we both dove into so deep that we knew like we knew neither one of us, like this is we're at the bottom, you know. We we we've gone through all this. Now we know this is gonna be for we're choosing for us together, this family is our life for the rest of our lives. Now we have a new week, like okay, we're both here, we've hit the bottom, we've been at the top, we know now what we want. And from there, you know, I that four months of being unemployed. Um I started working in a buy shop, and it was it was like a a fifth of what the not only the the the financial aspect, it was also of the the status, the the uh I didn't have helpers, I didn't have anything of what I had. It was like I started all the way over at the bottom. And it it was a honestly a fantastically humbling experience of like I had to manage everything to put myself on a um a lifestyle that I could afford on a minimal to nothing. And it it really showed what was important, it really showed what like the family interactions, and it doesn't mean that like I couldn't focus and just be an animal and and work these crazy hours or or have this big focus and these big dreams, but to implement um that family aspect not like separate, but into it and involve. And you're not just you're not just separating your family and your career or your dreams. That's that's yours together. Like I I put it all together where so now I mean Bree's Bree's my everyday. She's she's managing things at the shop, she's doing the finances, she's doing um rather than with R V D, we were separate. We I didn't get a moment together where it was really us together, managing the shop, owning together, doing that stuff. Besides like the um we would do like events, like off-road events and stuff that we'd show up to, but by then it was super high stress, and that's all you can imagine what that does. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

You can imagine where that goes. You're expecting a high level of something out of that because you're like, uh, I need that.

SPEAKER_03 17:50

Yeah. So we I I mean it. So we went to um there's this this event at Havasu. So we did, and we had been prepping and prepping, but I was still working 12 hours, 14 hours a day at the other shop, and we'd put like this big amount of money into all these things, and it had to be a big show. We put we rebuilt uh side by side from grow our side by side from from ground up cages, doors, bumpers, paintwork, everything in a week and a half time in preparation. We were welding those rock sliders on my Jeep at three at it was like two in the morning at the shop, the night we were leaving to go to Havasu for the event. So we were I we were welding uh one of our uh fabricators was uh helping me get everything set up. We were welding the the sliders on as the trailers hooked up to the back of the truck, loaded with everything on the back of it. Drove from the shop to the house at 2 33 in the morning, slept for maybe two hours and left for Havazoo. Napped for two hours for two napped for two hours and left for Havazoo, all loaded down, two side by sides on the back, all the stuff for the event is everything.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

Where did you stay in Havazoo when you got there?

SPEAKER_03 19:10

We we stayed at the hotel right next, like right next to the little it like so it's like right on the beach, but it was right by the bridge, yeah. Yeah, so it's right by the bridge. But it was the the event was in this like big parking lot, and there's a hotel, like literally you just walk right up there and it was right right there. So it's centralized. So we get there, we it's the morning, right? We we didn't go to sleep, we got there seven, eight in the morning. That's when they opened the doors to allow the vendors to set up. We set up the entire thing, which took like half the day, it was like two o'clock, three o'clock by the time we got done setting things up, and then we're like, I we're so exhausted, and we haven't we haven't really slept much, we haven't like we're still going. We it's like there's no stopping at this point. So we ended up just we uh my son was with us, we ended up just going and to eat and doing you know, doing the habit of things, doing the habit things or the London Bridge, yeah. I'd walk everything, going out and doing um, and we didn't get to sleep till like nine, ten o'clock that night, just trying to make so that we could do family things in that amount of time. Yeah, and woke up at 5 30 in the morning to get prep everything and set up for the next day. And that's that's how our life was every single day of every week.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

And and and so that experience taught you it reset you to to prioritize family.

SPEAKER_03 20:38

I I wouldn't I would say a yes in a way I would say it's more involving, like uh prioritizing the so there's for me the the like the philosophy of that or thinking of that. If somebody looks at it and says, Oh, I'm gonna absolutely prior prioritize my family or prioritize what you know that interaction to me, if I'm putting my all to uh that's number one, okay, then that's gonna be the one thing that I focus on, this one thing that I'm gonna like I'm putting all these things in the back of my head, I'm preparing for or I'm setting things up for if my number one is not the dreams or the the aspirations or getting the life set up that I want for my family or for myself or for you know for my friends or whatever that uh that role model lead, then it's it's like put your uh like on a plane. You put you put your oxygen mask on first to support your mother so you can survive to support the other people. So it it was more so not just saying the prioritizing the family, it was prioritizing involving the family. And and making it more just like, oh, I'm not gonna come home and I'm giving you guys this life. We're in this together. We're doing it together. And if I don't do that, like so the in that four months time of being unemployed, I think that's kind of what separated that for me, is because I got to just have the family as priority. I spent every second of every day making sure I'm you know, I'm the one picking up and dropping my my my son at school, I'm the one doing, you know, from the second he gets home, we're we're interacting, we're doing all this, and and it was fantastic. But as you know, I I it's being unemployed and being uh you need some work to be fitted. I I realized real quickly, like, okay, there's gotta be a massive happy medium here. Yeah, and I mean you can be on top of the world, uh or you can be down here, there's gotta be a medium there between that that brings you both all together.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Like there's and I've spent since then trying to find that happy medium, but now I I would say I would say um one beautiful story. And if I you know to interject into that, yeah, when I come over to your shop, yeah, I see that, right? You walk in and Breeze there, she's right behind the couch, she's like, Hey, how's it going? You're running around doing a hundred things, but you come in and check in, and it feels like we're hanging out. But when I come over, and then I and I look at your reviews, and your reviews have been rolling in fantastically, which is awesome. You have been amazing. Thank you. Uh your reviews are rolling in, and what I see on most of your reviews are it's a great family-owned company. Yeah, and I know other people are experiencing that when they come in.

SPEAKER_02 23:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

Uh, because it's like you're there, Bree's there. Uh, and of course, Bree's pregnant, right? At the time of this show, right now, right? Yeah. Some people might be listening to this in a few months and she won't be anymore. But baby Reed will be here.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

Oh, Reed. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like you walk in and yeah, it feels yeah, it feels it feels like you guys are having fun there. Um, and that is, man, because I I geez. So fun, fun backstory for for me. Absolutely. Um, in in uh I think it was like 2017 or 2016, I was working at NoCo, Automotive Aftermarkets, Jumpstarter. Yeah, I was I designed like the help design the um jump starters and chargers and stuff like that. Yeah. Um actually they're they're um design places in Tempe. I could probably go get you a couple of units for your shop. I would love to we have a few.

SPEAKER_03 24:32

I specifically those like the bigger ones, yeah. And but yeah, awesome.

SPEAKER_00 24:35

Oh, that's yeah, I designed all the clams. Actually, I should come over to your shop and take a look at them.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

I'll tell you what I designed. Yeah, uh so yeah, I was at NoCo for a while, and I just remember I I had a a Volkswagen Jet at the time. Yeah, I I brought it into a shop and had no idea. The guy could have told me the flux capacitor was out here. You know what I mean? Like I had no idea what was going on, and so I bought an old uh 1984 Ford Aconaline, yeah, uh just to work on it. Um yeah, yeah, it's probably just as bad. Yeah, yeah, there was lots of work, uh there's lots of work to do. Yeah. Um uh but but you know, just such a fun time uh in my life. Uh and and um, you know, every time I go over uh to your place, it always it always reminds me of that uh that that time. Um and uh you know, I I just appreciate that.

SPEAKER_03 25:24

So that's a that's been a big thing, I honestly. I I have a customer right now that I was immediately thought of when you brought that up. Um he's he's like real down on his luck, he's got he's got a lot going on in this life, and he doesn't he somebody'd made a bad repair on a suspension piece that really screwed him over and really like it it took a hit to his livelihood. It's it's all kinds of stuff. But as from what that person did and what it sounds like, he's described all this to me. It was like the guy, the guy did a band-aid, he was just trying to make the buck, or whatever. He's like, Oh, let me get it back on the road for you, this, that, and and I feel a lot of that comes from lack of communication or lack of real connecting or interacting with your customer, or or the person you're trying to help. You're trying these are people you're trying to help. These aren't just you don't just see them as customers. And once you make that breakpoint, it it instead of looking as it just this is just money or this is just uh it's an it's a real interaction, you're trying to make something better for this person, then that person, one, they're gonna have faith in your work. Two, you better do good work for them to have faith in your work, which I I feel like I I do pretty good. Um but that creates a lot better of an interaction. You feel the customer feels better about it. I I feel amazing about it. I I get to see, you know, uh uh a product that goes out that I know I'm confident in. I get to see them being thoroughly communicated, like, hey, I could I could do this, this, and this, and it's gonna bring your bill up double. And and that's how I'm gonna do it as like uh the big, you know, the big corporate shops or whatever, however they're gonna premise that, which yeah, that's that's great, and it would make the the vehicle look great, and it would be you know ideal for the but not everyone needs not everyone needs the entire side of their car done for a couple scratches and dents, or not everyone needs this. They need they need someone that's gonna look after them. Okay, I know what I can do to take your care of you and what you're looking for. And it's it really you're talking about the reviews, that's that honesty and that connection really makes the other person feel like their family or feel like they're at home.

SPEAKER_01 27:48

And I'd it's it's it's what separates a good business. Yeah. Uh, you know, and and people really key into that. Uh and um you know, I I've had, I mean, you you were one of them. I've had several clients that come to me and they're like, we've had a very poor experience with the past agency. Yeah. Uh and and you know, it's like I I take I take pride in my work as well. Yeah. Um, and you s you see that effect almost instantly, like when you walk into your place. Yeah. Right. It's like uh it very yeah. Yeah, I could I could just sit here and ring that bell all day, but like I think you're blushing over there too.

SPEAKER_03 28:25

Um I've uh there's a big lesson that um I think I learned pretty deeply in in meeting debris and kind of like becoming a father, kind of more of that time in my life um that we really got to reinforce and learn and that that hardship time was it doesn't matter to uh if you're always fighting to do or always have your eye to do what's right, not necessarily what's right, or what's gonna benefit you, what's gonna benefit your friend or or your family or whatever, if you do what's right and you fight for that and its soul, then everything else is gonna follow. It's it's everything, all the benefits from it, all what's gonna benefit you, what's gonna benefit the other person, it's going to follow.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

It's it's I I that's that's a that's like um that echoes a karmic belief. Yeah, right. That's a karmic belief of like the way that you treat others, right? It it moves forward. I mean, it's it's it's the golden rule, right? You treat others how you want to be treated, right? Is it follows that a little bit, but it it if I'm trying to think of a good example there.

SPEAKER_03 29:43

Um let's say um so the let's let's go to this customer that I just that I'm I was talking about that I have right now. Um really what his vehicle needs to get back going or what I would need to I should be charging or need to be charging him or or doing uh whatever the estimate of of the cost of the vehicle and what I should be putting on it that's going to, you know, that normal sta guidelines or standard point is not necessarily what's gonna get where he needs to be or what he wants to be or it's gonna help his situation and it's gonna double, triple the bill.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

So are you kind of sizing him up as he comes in of like, you know, he doesn't need he doesn't need everything, he just needs this to get going.

SPEAKER_03 30:38

I I'll ref I'll refer to your how you said you came at you how you come into our shop and you see that and you can instantly see and connect with your client or your that person. I try to connect to the person before I connect it. Maybe that's what I mean. I don't mean you're making like a judgment call. You're actually feeling that person come in and like exactly this attack. I that's I know that's what you meant. I've that's what I was trying to do. Are you profiling this person as they come in? I'm trying to not in a bad way, not in a bad way, but I try to connect to the person and what they're they're looking for versus what I'm trying to sell.

SPEAKER_01 31:20

Well, that's that's wisdom and discernment. Yeah, you know what I mean? Because in the and that's a good thing, that's a good skill to have. And if we're to talk to the philosophy of that, right? You as a business owner could just try to go for every single penny and tell them you're gonna need XYZ. You know, this one of the reasons why I bought the van is because I I was tired of like, I have no idea what this guy's gonna tell me and I'll believe anything, I'll pay him whatever. Yeah, and so you're doing the community a wonderful service by saying, you know, hey, really what like here's what you need to get it back on the road. And I bet you, you know, because this it's not a financial time of like uh excess wealth for everybody right now. It's it feels like inflation is going up and everything's crunching a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 31:57

So the the additive to that is you gotta be honest with everything, like, hey, this is what can get you back on the road, this is what's gonna give you what you are looking for, what you want. Here are the possible side effects, here's the possible things that that could go wrong from doing it that way. If are you comfortable with that? Are you okay with that? Is this gonna be a put you in a better place at another time to get to the rest of it done or do you know what I mean? I I you want to adhere to what they're able to, what what your client or what your friend, what's your family member, what is able to do in those scenarios, and then adhere to that, not what okay, this is what this whole situation needs.

SPEAKER_01 32:37

No, no, no, and that and that's wisdom of discernment, right? And that's the idea of like, you know, that's a good karmic effect because that person might not be flush with cash, and they just want to get the car back or they're you know, have a little bit of pride in what they drive, so maybe fix some dents or things like that. And you know, but it's like you're not you're not trying to scrape every penny that you can, and then they go for it in their own life and they're able to afford groceries, yeah, afford pay for their house, afford things like that. And you know, that's that that's that, you know, we had uh Cole from Greenkeeper on and we had a conversation with him about um, you know, he'll go and maintain a park very early in the morning, yeah, five in the morning, six in the morning. And then he he's not he's gone, he's back home or whatever. And there might be a family that's there at 9 a.m. Yeah, and they're enjoying the they don't think twice about who came and fixed the park up, yeah, who took care of the trash, who trimmed the trees, who mowed the lawn. But they go and they just enjoy throwing the frisbee. You know what I mean? And it's like the karmic effect of his work uh about doing that for people around. Of course, it's a job and he's getting paid for it, right? But he's taking pride and he's going above and beyond, and he's he's doing what he can to make sure that everybody else behind him has a better experience.

SPEAKER_03 33:38

It's it's fulfilling what's right. Yeah, and that's yeah. I uh that that hit me a little bit there. That that uh now I'm gonna have to look up that episode. Wow, that's awesome, man.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

And you can you can make a ton of money, right? And we we've had the couple of conversations with a couple of clients. You know, we have some people who who have very high aspirations, uh some of our clients, and they have they have numerical goals that they're trying to hit. Yeah, and some of the conversations we've had with them is like if you and this is offhand. This isn't like I'm trying to tell them what to do. This is offhand of like a philosophy when this conversation comes up with them. But it's like, hey, if we are just operating in a way where we're just trying to extract wealth from everybody, we might make it wealthy. Yeah. But at the cost of everybody else making it poorer. Yeah. And then you want to go out to the park and play catch with somebody, but nobody's there because they have to spend all day working just to make ends meet. And it's like, cool, you get to go enjoy the park, but nobody else is there to enjoy it with you. What's the point?

SPEAKER_03 34:32

The that that that whole idea of the doing what's right thing follows through into the money a hundred percent. And I'm and I've totally can seen or have been shown that myself when the difference between what was with R V D and to Universal is that mindset, and after that time with my family, that reconnecting, that's what changed there. RVD was uh for how everything was going, it wasn't going to be crazy successful because we were just trying to look for the next replacement or or let's get the customer, or let's you know, let's sell, let's do this. Where from the start of Universal, it's it's been I I'm doing what I love to do, I'm doing what is going to help the person I'm doing it for in a passionate manner and for a right manner. I wasn't concerned, I haven't been concerned about the find the the crap. I'm gonna make 10 million dollars right off the bat. I'm gonna do I'm gonna do it for this purpose. You might, but I I what's the what's the the back, the subconscious hope. Hey, it's not it's nice back, yeah. But uh what I quickly realized it what caused things, it's growing so quickly, it's been those customer interactions, those customer connections, those the the people you're seeing that with those reviews, the the um the social connections that we've been making with other businesses that are like you you take care of them. Yes, you do what is going to help both you guys, not just like oh here, here's your bill. Yes, here's the line.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

Yeah, okay, give me what I need. And you find that when you're doing it.

SPEAKER_02 36:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:16

You know, there's two things I just thought of when you said that. One is like when you're in fabrication, you're only working really with people that have that excess money to spend. Oh, yeah. When you're in collision repair, you're working with everybody. Everybody. And then the other thing that I thought of was this I I don't know why, but you probably have this too, where it's like most of my childhood, I think it's really spotty. I don't remember much. But there is like, I remember like some scholastic book fair in the librarian read us this story. Yeah, and the story was about this very wealthy lady, and she wanted a blanket.

SPEAKER_02 36:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 36:45

And there was this lady in town who could make incredible blankets. Like she wove them. I don't know what they maybe she put love into it or it was a golden strand. I don't remember what the like material. I don't remember what, but I just remember the very wealthy lady said, I want one of your blankets. And the lady who made the blanket said no. And then she's like, No, no, no, no, no. I will pay you whatever you want to make this blanket. And she goes, No. No. And then she finally comes a third time, she's like, I want this blanket. And she goes, Okay, if you want me to make you a blanket, you must make blankets for other people. And so the story goes, she starts making blankets for other people. And when it comes back around time for her to like, the stories progress, and she comes back around and it's like, okay, you've met the conditions that I've told you. The lady's like, I don't really care to have the blanket anymore. I found making it for other people was really what I needed. Yes, yes. Wow. Wow. Look at that, look at that.

SPEAKER_03 37:30

Look at that, look at that. Wow, that's awesome. I and that's a children's Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:37

It's one of those things I was a kid. I was like, Wow. All right, whatever. You don't think of it then?

SPEAKER_03 37:42

You're older and you're like and watching some of those movies and stuff. Okay, okay. This is an honorable man. This this is a huge movie for our family that like really set us on the map. It was we were going through a lot of like psychological stuff and like work there, right? Inside out and inside dude, I like a hundred percent. So um I went through a lot of I I went through some some therapy and uh all this stuff. Like I long backstory there we can get into later. But one of the things they brought up in the classes was that movie, and I was already like I already like like really enjoyed the the all the back the back uh story and the things that are like in with the movie. But he's like we literally watched it in one of our like the group sessions, and we would stop it and be like, Hey, look, this is this is what this is explaining about how uh your connective of this feelings or this, and uh like blew my mind of how deep this movie is. And it just like this this kid story, like this is a you return to it and you're like, Oh my god, I had no idea the first time. Like, wow, that is so much so much more heart filling than than you know what it's the the selling of it is, and it it it really excited me. So now we we had this whole huge thing when inside out two came out, we made we planned it on the calendar like months before. But it was great, it was great. I uh it was it was amazing that that came out and I felt homeless.

SPEAKER_01 39:17

So do you see that that's how that's evolved in your the way that you operate?

SPEAKER_03 39:22

Oh, uh a million percent. Like a million percent. I I you know I'm everybody's fallible. I could admit that I um in my financial chase of of life in the in the past, like I got pretty where it was like I need to do this, I need to like this, make this money, it became like robotic. Yeah, which which really it really produced quite a bit.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

But at what true cost?

SPEAKER_03 39:52

At what true cost? It was it was me. It was it it was more me than uh than I thought than than I could understand at that point.

SPEAKER_01 40:01

You said something earlier. You said uh you said uh I think you said it was the right way or the right I think it was the right way.

SPEAKER_03 40:10

The right way or the right thing. The right thing.

SPEAKER_01 40:12

Yes, and and there is a concept um that I really appreciate. Um actually, oh my gosh, I just found out yesterday. It's a podcaster that I've enjoyed for years. I he I just found out yesterday that he passed away.

SPEAKER_02 40:24

You're diving me. Oh damn it.

SPEAKER_01 40:26

Yeah, he's in his he was in his late 20s. His name was uh Gordon White. Okay. I found out uh yesterday that he passed away and I was real upset. Uh actually this morning I was still pretty upset about it. He has a conversation that he would call right relation.

SPEAKER_02 40:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:39

Um, and the idea of it was like money's a big one, right? Because we can relate to money in a many, in many different ways. Yeah. Um, and uh actually, uh so um Jake from Element Mist. Yeah, it's hard not to say Jake from State Farm, but Jake from Jake. I can see it in your face.

SPEAKER_00 40:58

I had a friend. I had a friend. I had a friend. Yeah, okay. Jake from Jake from Element Mist.

SPEAKER_01 41:05

Uh he was telling me um about uh um okay, so hold on. So we were saying right relation, Gordon White, right relation, Jake Jake from a mist. Attacking back. Uh oh yes, he was talking about uh Plato. We actually went really deep into like philosophy, Greek philosophy with Plato uh on our episode, and uh he was talking about um so he actually uh uh recommended a book. Um it's called uh Gorgias. And it's basically Plato writes it from the from the from the point of view where he's like watching Socrates argue to these three people. Gorgias is one of them, there's two other guys. Okay. And the whole point of this is like from Socrates' standpoint uh and point of view is like um the best thing that you can be is virtuous. Yeah. Uh and so you have like your you have your like own personal commandments uh and uh that you stand on. Um and usually they're oriented to good. Uh and then like the second the best thing that hopefully there yeah, right, but and then the second thing is like the best thing for you is to like maintain good health and good physique, uh, and then it adequate wealth.

SPEAKER_02 42:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 42:06

Uh and so it's a big philosophical conversation all the time. It's like how much wealth is enough. And that's actually the whole point of the book is how much is enough. Uh and so his his point is like to argue adequate wealth essentially is like you can take care of you and yours, and you're not living in a stressed manner. Uh, and then you should be operating from virtue. Like you said earlier, like with the whole like you have to work, you have to you have to fill up your cup first.

SPEAKER_03 42:30

I was it was starting to get me riled up there, but no, I see where you're okay.

SPEAKER_01 42:33

Yeah, yeah, you and then and then and then from that stamp, it's like you fill up your own cup first, or like you said, put the oxygen mask first. Put your oxygen mask. Yeah, and then and then from there, it's like your operating procedure should be then take care of others. Yeah. Because any action that you do that denigrates another or takes away from another actually hurts you in a roundabout way.

SPEAKER_02 42:51

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 42:51

And and um another connection that I made uh a few minutes ago um is you and I are both in a business where we tell people technical things about what we're doing and they have no idea what you're talking about. No clue. No idea. If I came over to your shop and you're like, this is what I'm working on today, I'd be like, that's great, Jason. That's great. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 43:12

I catch myself with that with customers all the time, especially like like ones that I that I find or interact with naturally, or that they reach out to me, a friend of a friend, or whatever, and they'll be like, I'll I'll text them. I'll be like working in their vehicle. I'll text them like the this other guy that I was referring to earlier. I was like, hey, I'm welding this, I'm putting this together, and I'd be like, awesome, man. Thank you. I have no clue what you're talking about, but it sounds like either way, if you really I've I've discovered this and and I've I've seen it from you too. Either way, if you relay that in in an in such the passionate way that you do, or that I do, or that like the forward way, the just brutal, like out there, truthful, honest, or like, hey, this is what I'm doing. It doesn't matter if they really absolutely know 100% what you're talking about, they can see that that's you know, you know. what you're doing you know you're confident you're passionate for it you're you're expressing you're expressing what you are doing in a in the most in the genuine passionate way and if uh instead of saying like oh hey your car's ready to pick up today your your vehicle is gonna be ready to pick up that's the sense that they pick up on yeah and that's what I was trying to say earlier about walking into your place it's immediate you you pick up on that sense immediately yeah yeah you're totally right when when you are because people can tell it you care yeah that's really what it is right it's like and that's the that's what's beautiful about the division of labor uh is that like you don't have to be an expert at everything like you have enough people in your community that everybody can be an expert at their own thing.

SPEAKER_01 44:41

Yeah and then if your community is born out of trust then you just okay well I can see that you're passionate about it and I trust that you're doing the right thing for me. And it's huge.

SPEAKER_03 44:50

Passion that really that sets it apart too like it's you can really tell it's like you're saying and I've I've had the uh sometimes pleasure and sometimes unfortunate to see the difference there in some people and me me too man like like I mentioned earlier about 75 80% of my customers come in they're like man I'm gonna tell you right away I hate agencies I and I'm sure you get that too it's like they come in they're like look man I hate body shops mechanics yeah 100% it's like one of the it's it's one of the worst it could be one of the worst parts of like an experience. Oh man like they cut they come in on edge already like I I have I have like I'm literally still heartbroken over this story and I've I didn't even realize how which frustrated me that I didn't know the whole story about this customer because I did I was the one that personally like directly handed it as handled it as much as I now wish I did. I don't I don't want to get into crazy details about it because I don't I don't know how comfortable that person they're they're a little on the older side and they're sure I mean you don't have to say any names like yeah so from my understanding they in a very short amount of time they got in a car accident and the person their their significant other was with them and they passed due to uh whatever this or complications from that and that was the it upsets me because uh I just like uh this was yesterday that I got the full encompassment of this and um the customer had come in that was the last time that they seen that significant other was in that car and that they they were the last person to drive it and um if I would have known more of that then I would have fought more to see the the the vehicle totaled out the insurance got it it totaled it was it they took it away and it broke my heart to hear what he had said on a uh it he was crying in our lobby and ah um knowing what I know now I wish I I could have made something work for he to keep the vehicle because he he he was like he was like he was like that was the last like uh does it mean something to me and he kind of which threw me off but it was before I knew I I was helping him get some of the stuff out of the vehicle and I didn't uh he was real somber he wasn't really talking much so that's why like I could see it in him but I could I didn't really know and I feel bad because I was super busy and I was I I didn't interact the way I wanted to yeah and he he's like yeah I'm it's it's like a bittersweet thing I know I should be letting this vehicle go and I should and uh dude it it it really breaks my heart now like thinking about it I know it wasn't crazy over that it was a total loss that he I could have done something for him to keep the vehicle and brought it back to him and it makes me regret it big time.

SPEAKER_01 48:12

Is there no way to get it back?

SPEAKER_03 48:14

Not at this point. Not at this point and by the time I knew not at that point either and that's I don't I I was I I was angry about it but I I realized that I I there's nothing I can really do but um it's it's those it's those connecting stories it's those when you really get to that's what bothered me about that that the difference with doing that with that customer that I wasn't as I didn't see that customer as much I didn't interact with them from the beginning. I didn't connect there that you know I had the power to do something with that and and help or or do something that would have been you know better that it really showed me the difference of well so not looking at them as just customers and not looking at making those interactions that it felt deep on me it felt heavy and I was I was I was remorseful that I didn't so now I'm to a point where I feel like I need to do that with with the people that I interact with with the customers that doing it the other way and just seeing it as interactions transactions or or I'm I'm here to build a $10 million business. Whatever business as much as possible but I've come to a point where I don't want to sacrifice those those interactions and what that makes me feel what that makes the customer feel I I'd be happy with where I'm at now if I got to continue that yeah rather than seeing certainly you know that's that's what's becoming more important to that I absolut a hundred percent yeah yeah oh I love that that's that's yeah that's beautiful it broke my father it broke my heart man it did I Bree Bree Bree had has been the one to tell she's like I'm just learning this and I'm like or like oh god she's like you know did you know that I was like no I didn't I was like I literally just I helped him I helped him load everything up and I I could he's my estimator is like he's he's in here he's crying in the lobby and I don't know what to do he's got he was going to the funeral and I was I was like I didn't I didn't even I didn't know that until I was like oh man it made me it made me so okay so you helped him remove stuff from the vehicle.

SPEAKER_01 50:47

Yeah you and and then like insurance totaled it out and they came and collected the car. Yeah yeah yeah because there at least is there anything left from the vehicle at all?

SPEAKER_03 50:59

Um he so and that's what I when I when I thought about it when I looked back he grabbed he came at back later like like an hour before they picked up the call the the car to he's like I I woke up I I could I couldn't I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was the seatbelt extender on the one side that was that person's and he's like I could not leave that behind like and I not even knowing the backstory of that I was like I started to kind of think about that I was like he's that's that's the one that in the the key cover on on the set of keys there was like a specific key cover and a lanyard on it he's like I cannot leave without that and I was like okay I'll I'll bring you right back there and I I didn't think about it until he left and I was like he he showed up he had he had a a cut on his forehead from the accident and I knowing what I've been through in the past few years and what how much was taken and how much like how how much hurt and how much it like it like flashbacked me. It made me uh I've I've unfortunately blessed with a ton of empathy in my life unfortunately massively that's the kind of stuff it like keeps me up at night I could I like it it I know I'm I'm trying to think I'm like is there is there something sentimental that we can do for the person like is there anything left that we can like hey we'd love to take you out to lunch we didn't realize at the time that this was what you were going through but just so you know you have someone in the community that you can I mean I like yeah because because you'll get updates on this yeah I'm gonna get I'm gonna I'm gonna ask I'm gonna I'd almost like to be there like no a hundred percent let's let's take the person out to lunch and let them know that they have support in the community like that would be cuz you're right like that that what's the point what's the point of of rushing through business if you can't make connections to your community it what's the point it was empty at the top when I did it before without that I'm I'm it was empty and I a hundred percent believe that's what made it fall yeah I I don't I don't even regret it falling from the status and the everything or whatever that I we had and what we built I'm massively thankful for it and I'm massively thankful for what one that lesson that reconnection all of that has taught me and for a lot of people that's where that's where you give up that drive that's where that's where like you learn that lesson and it's like hey family's most important or this is and it I refuse to give up on still that fight I refuse to give up on that dream or that that um motivation or um going back to doing this because then then what am I just doing? I'm just going to just focus it's almost selfish to me at that point. It's almost selfish. Yeah like then I can't do I got a taste of of of being able to be there for people and and I got a taste of knowing what it needs or what it what you when you do need somebody there for you or somebody to just say hey I'll take care of this one for you. Yeah or hey this this is you know that the the bill or when they see the bill and it's what it's half of what the next guy or or and or they or they see that we've put our passion into it it that means a lot. Yeah it means so much so much more than what I I genuinely thought it did. Yeah I I thought like you know it's just I'm gonna go home I'm gonna make sure my family's taken care of yeah but in a way doing this and fighting that fight or or or having that passion to to helping or being there for people that you know or like you wish that they were that you had someone there for you has made me a better man a better role model for my family and I think it I it's it's it's deepened that connection and my ability to make that connection with them too.

SPEAKER_01 55:36

So it's it's that that that to me is so like I'm a big believer in like a higher power or higher order of things. Okay. Some people might call it the universe and say the universe works in ways. Some people might use the word God, right? Yeah. But when you are given that trial and you work through it and you come through and you actually see on the other side what is the most important thing I am a firm believer that what happens afterwards is you're actually given the gift of shepherding the thing that you failed in first. And and what I mean by that is we've had this you know so you mentioned the $10 million number and it's like it's it'd be nice to build towards towards wealth. But just like what we're talking about is like you know you have you you can you can accrue this wealth but if it's done so at the cost of another there's no point in doing it.

SPEAKER_02 56:34

There's no point.

SPEAKER_01 56:35

But it's okay. It's okay to like we had this conversation I had this conversation with with Ronnie um uh from Lush Great Western Pest Control where I told Ronnie I'm like look man like take money out of it take m take money out of it you are putting time and effort into a service in the community that now becomes a staple in the community and you have folks rallied around you that you that you've employed right uh that are there on an agreement with you to to work and you have created an asset in the community. Yeah and you're responsible now for shepherding that asset in the community uh and the community knows that hey if my car is you know something happens to it I can go to Jason and it'll be taken care of right so so again money aside of all this stuff we know that we can go to Jason to Universal Collision Center and these things can be fixed and taken care of. That is a valuable asset in any community. Yeah right and that that idea that like as a leader you eat last you know so you pay and you you know as a business owner you pay you have to pay people you have to pay your you have to pay your folks right you have to pay you pay you pay me right you pay you pay for ad spend like you pay all these things. And then what's what's left at the end of it you you take over right and and if everything's done fair and everything's done in a manner where everyone's agrees and and you're taking care of your people and you're not gouging them and you're not you know then then it's fine that the excess of those things like in my in my in my view it's like you have been blessed by the universe because you have spent that time to go through those trials and tribulations and now you are given an excess after everything is taken care of and everyone has been taken care of and done so in a consensual manner you now have this ex excess to then shepherd where where you want to put it whatever like it could be it could be you know you deserve some some you know leave a sweet cheap like put some bigger tires on it but you know thanks but uh but you know but also at the same time like you you have I remember you know you introduced me to Savannah right Bree's Bree's sister oh yeah um and Savannah was in a situation that was very challenging um and you basically were like let's get you out of that and let's bring you over here and let's we'll figure it out when you get here and we'll take care of it. Right and and that is a use of those excess resources that is in a high way or a right relation.

SPEAKER_03 58:54

Yeah I I can't take the full uh by any means the full um breeze over there punch in the air right no I I think that was a that wasn't just us either um that was her too I you you can't and I think I think being there with for for Savannah and um and being there for some of my friends and and some of the stuff recently um you you can't do what uh the change that that happened with her without their effort or their desire or their want to make that change or even or their like real commitment to it. You know there's a bit there's a big difference between like hey oh I want to make this change in my life and yada yada yada you know talk about it talk about it if you don't ever like really like hey I'm gonna stop doing this I'm gonna stop doing that I'm gonna focus I'm gonna get this done I'm gonna make the sacrifices she she did she made those changes so and that's what made that whole situation work. That gotcha it wasn't it wasn't just us like hey sure let's let's pulley out let's do this let's do that it wasn't that by any means and but I don't even want to you had the resources and the availability to you know we did it we did a car wash we we we hosted a car wash um to help out with that we got all of our friends our all my friends in the industry and that that I had at the time um and as much people we could together on my side just even if even if there wasn't like a big financial aspect or donation or whatever to it bringing awareness to that or bringing that support she showed up her kids were there um I think the impact of seeing other people being supportive of that was one of the biggest impacts for her was like hey you're not alone you don't need to rely on people that are not ideal that that say or whatever I know I don't want to get into anything crazy but um that you have the support from everybody you have the support from people that genuinely mean you good you have the support from people that want to do what's good for you and from yourself and it's made a huge impact there. So it yeah we with between the car wash and everything we got her into um a better living situation um and things have been working a lot better there and but I I see the biggest impact with with between her and her and her her her two boys and her daughter um and the biggest impact on how it's affecting her now and how she's stopping I know do my eyes glistened over a little bit do my eyes glisten over it's it's a beautiful it's a beautiful display of of what I would say is healthy masculinity.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:06

Yeah all the time toxic this toxic that you you you took some time and some resources and some of your connection to put her in a safer place. Yeah and that is a man who has gone through trials and tribulations and and has come out the other side in a position knowing that that is what's valuable and important.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:26

John I was 21 when I had my first child and I even think that like even at today standards the 21 is the kind of I knew this was gonna happen. I was 21 and and from what you think today like 21's kind of what did is am I saying this correctly is 21 old now to have a child and she I think she was 18 man knowing how and how much of an an intelligent animal I am now of just just in life how how in a such a non ready spot I was at 21 and how much a big difference that changed for me once once my son was born and all the things I went through there. That's time for another episode or whatever. Okay because I was about to ask you what that's like but please um I I couldn't imagine what it was like in her shoes at 18 at at such a young age at the lack of support at knowing knowing a lot of her backstory and knowing a lot of I breezed all all of that situation I know how alone I was I know how what it took for me to do what I had to do and she she did it alone and she or maybe not alone but she did it times three times three I have one right now and she be she she she has such like this this um self-sabotage of like hey I'm not doing good I'm not I'm not enough I wasn't you know I don't have this this or I don't have that or I don't I'm I wasn't in a great place or I'm Damu and I feel like Brie I feel she doesn't give herself enough credit and doesn't stop and say hey like these three kids are here these three kids they're they're with me these three kids they've they've always had a place to to sleep they've always had food they've always had their they have big connection with their family they have and that's a lot of what like I I didn't I I had to struggle and fight for for my son and and uh damn you I think we're gonna have to cut uh um she doesn't give herself enough credit yeah and a lot of people and a lot of people don't a lot of a lot of my friends don't and a lot of and I have Always struggled with that.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:01

I've always struggled with my my I have a I have a very healthy relationship with my father now. My dad had a different path to take. Yeah. And took it right before I was born. I'm the third of three. And my mom largely raised me by herself. Yeah. And it wasn't my mom, first off, she never spoke ill of my father. Um and until I was older, I didn't realize how hard that must have been. Okay. I'll end. Sorry. And um, and I think it was it was in my twenties, she started to tell me more about what that time of her life was like. And she was very involved in the church and still is to this day. Yeah. But she said when my dad left that the way people at church treated her was like she was contagious. So that her it's you you have some big cop topics. Wow. Wow. Wow. Um okay. So I can feel I can feel from some, I mean, definitely not through experience.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:18

Um, but uh definitely through some level of understanding of how that must be so hard.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:25

And so um, I admire you more than I did before you stepped in today, which was already a lot. And um, you know, I know her and I have worked a little bit on some photos. I think I would like to rekindle that conversation between us and see what we can do more to make sure she's supported because I'm I came from a similar situation. Yeah. My mom didn't have much and she didn't have uh a lot of support. She had, you know, we um my grandparents, right? And both my grandfathers stepped in and became my dads at a young age. Uh and so I didn't have a lot of father figures or or you know, they were there and when they were around, they were healthy masculine um men, but my mom ran a preschool and it was all female teachers. I was raised largely by women. Um, and uh I'm so blessed by that, uh, and so blessed uh for that situation. And I know she's I can I I gain the sense just from the short piece that you told me that she's a fiercely strong mother. You she absolutely is.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:25

She absolutely is. Um and when you when you start when you start progressing, this this has hit me hard in the last few years. When you start progressing intellectually, emotionally, financially, like when you start progressing hard in life, and you start to kind of analyze some of the people around you, whether whether it's just there's I don't I'm laughing to try and stop myself. Um you you analyze a lot of people around you, your family, and you start to understand them a lot more. You start to see the struggles of other people, and and the big empathy. Remember, I said this the big empathy thing is a curse, I'll tell you what. 100% through and through, and it's and it's a fucking beautiful thing at the same time. You realize the curse part, you realize you see people have to go through what they have to go through to get to where they're asking to be, and you see where people are, and when you when you're able to really understand that, and you start to see where some people say they're here, and some people say they're there, or there, or there, and you realize where they really are, and sometimes that really breaks your heart, or they or you see what they they are going through, what they're facing, and you want to scream to them like it's like you're gonna you're gonna be alright, you're gonna make it, you're gonna be uh but you can't like you can't you can't tell somebody what's on the other end, yeah, and then know and them under see it or understand or or even believe you until they do. And it's an experiential.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:24

You can tell them intellectually all day long, but until they experience it. You can never really know.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:34

Which sucks for you. It sucks for you, because then you have to you have to watch them watch you you know, you know, and you've been there, you've you know the struggles of that, and you and when you see him make it through, it's like uh man.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:53

Well, and you're you're and really I mean it. I'm not just gassing you up here, but like you're gonna wonderful support system, right? Like growing up in that in my own way, right? My mom didn't my mom was a school teacher, and then she left being a school teacher so that she could start a preschool because she had no money to give me you know, she had no money to take care of me in a in a in a childcare situation. So she sacrificed a job to go start a business. So I come from you know a lineage of you know, my mom started her own business. My dad started a business too, and he failed in it and then tried something else, and he was wonderfully successful at that. My mom ran a preschool for over 30 years, and she started it because she needed to be able to take care of me. I and and her her her whole thing was she was in a situation where she was hurting, and so her in her operating contract with her business partner was like, this is what we'll charge, you know, it's like whatever per week for kid or whatever. But she was like, if there's ever a parent that can't pay it, we're not gonna force them and we'll still take their child because she was in a situation where she if I keep talking about my mom, man, I'm gonna cry like that. You're sending me down a hole, you're sending me down a hole right now.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:01

Um because this is that Bree's gonna love this. He's gonna love this. Bree's grandma, and that she's she's she's passed now, but she she was the that figure for Bree and for Savannah. And I could I could see it in your eye. Uh instantly made me think about that. And one I've I have a lot of I wish I could have, you know, I wish I I wish I could have seen that more or been a more part of that, and been that that impact that that makes, and that I'm that obviously it's made on you is is one of the strongest things that's impacted on and that's created what that strength Savannah, that strengthened Brie, that and it's it's it's a it's a beautiful thing, man. I I can't I I gotta I gotta tiptoe around this to not it's a real and a raw thing, and I I mean, yeah. Brie's the mom, the partner, and the person she is because of because damn you because of that, because of that. Be there. Always have an open door if if that family needs it. I don't care if you hit me in the face yesterday. I don't care if we've had our problems. Breeze Breeze taught me this. Bree and her families taught me this. It doesn't matter what you've done, what you've said, my door's open. That that heart that that's how her family is, and and it's shown in that strength. It's shown and it's it's shown and it's it's why I I fall in love with I fell in love with Bree. It's why it's why she's such an amazing mom. It's why Savannah is is doing what it takes. It's why I'm just gonna start crying and then I'm not even gonna say anything, so I can I can kind of it's okay. Well that's good. I I I give that I I give that admiration for uh it and and seeing another person that that that that has strongly affected that that that premise, that do what's right, that that that um empathy, that that strong emotion, that passion, that that real passion for life, and not just like standing for something.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:12

Oh, I I I I think that's such um that's such an innate strength that women have. Not that men are not capable. Oh we tend to measure strength in different ways. We like to pick things up and put it down, right? Or have us or fight each other.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:32

We're not capmen anymore. And I think I get what you're saying. Yeah, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:39

We we we I think we definitely have some empathy, but I think that that staying power. Um, you know, my my my my my mom and my dad actually my my my nieces just graduated. Uh one graduated from college and one from high school. And my my dad came down from Oregon to celebrate and it was held at my my mom and my stepdad's house. They're fine. They've been fine for years, and they can sit and chat and say hi. And they were at my graduation when I graduated college and and they can talk and stuff like that. And so they've both, you know, it's it was largely my mom forgiving my dad, right? My dad was largely seeking um, you know, uh an apology, right? Yeah. Or seeking to give an apology. Okay. Um and uh my mom for years had every reason to be like, never again, never again. But she knew for me and my brother and my sister that that not showing that and showing like I'm maybe I won't speak nicely of him right now, or maybe I won't speak at all, because you know, maybe that's how she's feeling, right? And then over the years has has has spoken kindly, and and that is that strength right there, uh bro. God damn. And and you to you saying that about Brie, it's funny because again, that aura of walking into your business, you can sense it. I can sense that just sitting with Brie in the couple of times that we've worked together trying to whatever get emails and stuff straightened out and get the marketing things straightened out. I can tell that sense that she's a strong woman. Oh uh, and just to hear this and confirm that it's like yeah, I'll I'll say totally that he's gonna he's gonna be so happy about this.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:19

One of my um my friends, my brothers. We had a group of friends that with the brothers, very intellectual, very strong, very um, we got you through each other so much. One of the people that I see that is like one of the more higher plane people on on the intellectual or the emotional intellectual aspect of things. And he ended up with a a pretty decent exposure in um the past few years of of interaction with Bree that he had he hadn't understood before. Um and there was a point when in the things of everything falling down where he came to meet we we would have these these like it was um we'd have these conversations as like we'd we could we'd call it no man's land where we no matter what's going on, whether I'm fighting him or fighting the world or fighting whatever, it didn't matter. No man's land is where we could we could say what we see, what we observe, what we need, what we whatever. He said he's like I had no idea I couldn't tell or I couldn't I couldn't comprehend until I did how strong how strong and how much weight and how much she's fought through to be who she is now and Brie And one coming from him uh at that no man's land level two hearing somebody that I have a respect in that aspect see what I've what I want other people to see and and really understand about Brie and about that str that just honestly that strength and that that that those qualities in a person in general. Oh man. How broke my heart for a while in a pot like that was one of those that they keep you up at night for a long time. And I don't think she got I I told her that shortly after, but I don't think she got the grasp of that until that, let's say that four-month break period of non-employment, and that we could we really connect and we got we got deeper into conversation. Um you don't understand something until you really understand it. And there's not there's not very many people that I hold in that real regard and that depth and that can under or that sees that to that level. And that's finally something that I I I believe now and hope now that she gets to see Which I'll say that's something that I haven't been able to see or under or believe in myself to this point. Or until all this has happened, really, to be honest. I didn't think I was anything special, I didn't think I had I was a great person, I didn't think I had, you know, I was gonna do any of this. I didn't think I had I and I fight that every day. And to see her finally come that full circle and to like open the eyes to say I'm proud to be that person. Uh as goes with your mom's story, I've I'm willing to bet deeply, like God. Once you that that finding a self is huge. And I think that's what's become this other side. I think that's what's led us to be able to be the people we are present in this, in the in in Universal, and with the coming baby, with our our son Aiden, and with our with being able to help our friends or or being present with our friendships. You you can't you have to put your mask on before you put somebody else's mask on. Because you can't. You can you can't you can't be there. You can't help or you can't I wouldn't even use I don't like using the word help in it. You can't uh maybe support or be because it's it's not I don't want to look at it as like I would say do we say lend compassion to.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:54

There you go. Or that's better. Maybe not lend, but give compassion to.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:58

I I don't it because it almost aren't as narcissistic to me, to be honest. And I hate that. I I hate that I it it makes me feel like people I've I've fought that whole thing of people thinking that I'm like the super narcissistic person or I'm full of myself, or like I'm you know, you're just you've got more anyways. And I hate that image, I hate that that that covers like hey, I want to be here for you. I don't want to do it because it makes because it makes me look good. I don't want to do it because I want to be here for you because one that place sucks, man. Two, you don't know that I know that place sucks. And you deserve not to have somebody help, but uh, even if it's just a hand to hold while you're doing it, man. Yeah, it it's so much, it means so much more and it helps so much more.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:11

That's that's compassion. That's compassion. And I think if I may be so bold, that's what the world needs most. It does.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:22

It does. It needs that definitely now more than ever, too. It needs it more than ever. I I don't think that lack of compassion necessarily comes from just I think it it comes from in itself.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:38

I think I I I I think lack of compassion comes from being too busy to notice that you don't have it at all. And that's something I'm very guilty of.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:47

You you hit a phrase word there.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:51

I mean, it's only because it's very fresh. No, I know I have a wonderful uh gal in my life, and uh sh you know, we we recently, you know, had to have some conversations, and it was largely because um it was because I wasn't showing up for myself. Uh and and I wasn't showing up for myself, not because I was stuck in my room and depressed. It's actually the opposite. I was spending way too much time working.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:16

Because it's an easy thing to throw an infinite time into. It's very easy. There's always stuff to do. And if you're if you're proficient and prolific and you have skills, there's always gonna be stuff that you can do. And and so she actually, without saying it directly, what she wanted from me was presents. And I wasn't giving it to her. And um, and it took compassion to see that I wasn't giving her presents. It wasn't it wasn't she wanted me to make money, it wasn't she wanted me to whatever. It it doesn't it doesn't matter. She said we can live under a bridge together. She's like, I don't want that forever. I like a shower, but you know, we could live under a bridge together. I just want you to be there with me.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:54

I I hate the cliche. I hate I hate that it sounds so clich from the outside looking in, but until you're there, yeah. Oh my god, man. Yeah. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:06

Welcome to Build Arizona where we cry.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:10

Oh man. Did you put something in the air? That's dusty in here, bro.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:18

I didn't clean before you came in, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:26:23

You and there's a there's a huge difference between presence and being just there. I I got hit with that one hard too. I I uh when was this? Was this like in the last few years, or is this uh was this even more oh this is the last few weeks, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:44

Everything's wonderful now.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:46

John, you're coming over for dinner soon. You know that. I would love that.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:49

I would love that.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:50

Oh man.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:51

Yeah, I mean I go through phases, and I'm sure you do too. Like there it is easy to fall back into that. Let me just work, let me just work, let me just work. Um but uh John.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:03

Yeah, we were talking about the whole you see that oh, you see somebody else in a so there's so much more to that in between area of losing RVD and that restructuring, and that and that that presence was a big part of that. I think I think you know very much um being able to sink yourself into and shut off limits and being able to build something like like work or career or financially or that there is a switch there. And shutting off that presence it it's it's in order to push through boundaries, it's in order to push through the next level, it's in order to push through you. You have to learn that that switch cannot stay off. You have to learn it's there. You have to learn to be able to it's go time. It's home time. And that switch has to turn off. Or you lose it, John. You lose it. And I almost lost all of it, John.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:33

But you didn't.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:34

I I know, I know. You have to learn how to flip that switch. And you have to learn how to be good at it.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:45

And that's hard as a business owner. But you're but it's a skill, just like any other.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:52

It is. And I'm grateful for the time that I spent in that like uh I told you I worked in a body shop before we st we started Universal after the after everything. I'm I'm very grateful for that amount of time there at the amount of duties, the amount of pay, or the amount of structure or or of what that did to be able to create that that on, off, on, off it helped me restructure that big time. It helped me be able to do that enough before spending the 18-hour days again. If I didn't, if I didn't have that before that, it would it would just spend the cycle. It would have just right back where it was. It would have it would have ended in catastrophe again. And it would have still kept that that distance. Yeah. The distance between the family like, yeah, I can provide a life for my family. Yeah. But am I providing life?

SPEAKER_01 1:30:09

Life worth living.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:11

It's it it's the difference providing a life or what we see that passion is actual life. Yeah. Creating that role model, creating that. I I'm convinced I'm convinced that's I'm I'm struggling to structure this to not dive us into a conversation. That's that's the um I would say I'm convinced that's why our this pregnancy with Brie has happened when it's happened. Um we've had our own battles in that and it's been 10 years. Yeah. And this is our old Aiden is? Aiden's 13. Aiden's 13. Aiden's 13. Bree uh Brie's not Aiden's mom.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:11

Oh, that's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:12

Brie's not Aiden's mom. Um but I've been with Brie for uh 10, 11 years.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:19

Oh, okay, I see what you're saying. So you've been and this is our first.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:22

No, it's time. This doesn't this is we've been through so much that has just prevented that before. It's not like we haven't won and you know put this is when it's happened.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:41

And you you you were being prepared for it.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:46

That's so to say, uh I was life was preparing.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:51

I was gonna say, maybe not being prepared for it because it is still on your own fruit. It's on your own. Well, it is, it's on your own fruition to step through it. Yeah, okay. Because because you you and I was I was gonna say just a second ago, you should be proud of yourself. Because don't do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:08

Yeah, you should do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:10

Because because I I again a big b I'm a big believer in karmic cycles and the way that things work. And and you went through it once, and you've had the opportunity to go through it again, but you chose to do the work to step through to the other side, and now you are prepared for that moment in this moment, and that's big. Reed's on the way. Reed will be here soon.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:33

Uh how much that means to her is is oh I can you couldn't even put that into words. That's and uh no shade upon any anybody else in my in my past with any of that, but this will be the first one I get experience in this manner, in this realm, in this emotion. Yeah. And and everyone's been asking me, like, aren't you aren't you anxious? Aren't you like the baby's coming? I'm like uh No. No, like I'm excited, I'm I'm um I'm not concerned. I'm not worried. I'm ready. I'm I'm she's ready. I'm not worried. I I'm not I'm not worried that we're not gonna be good. I'm not worried that something is is gonna happen in a in a case that that's that's what we can't handle, that we're not prepared for, that we're not even if it's something beyond us I'm I'm fully content and and believe that it's happening just as it needs to, and just as if anything comes our way, we've done the work. I'm I'm ready for it. She's ready for it. Aiden, Aiden, oh man, that's a that's we'll have a whole nother a whole nother talk on Aiden sometime, but that kid, he is uh he's a trooper. And he's definitely my kid. He's definitely you know you getting to meet me and getting to know me. He's gonna be a he's gonna be an awesome man for sure. And unfortunately, it seems like he's gonna be a much taller than me man. You remind me of him a little bit, and he's he's 13, and I have to I have to look at the top of his head like every morning. Because he's right there, he's he's about to hit another girl spurt, and I'm like, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. He's right there with me. And he's filling out, he's do where our plan this summer is to to do um it's workout summer. We've got we've got a weight room, or our our loft has got uh a bench and uh like weights and stuff, and and he's been getting he's dove into football and stuff recently, and that's been our plan. Our whole talk is and Bree's been kind of jealous of, or she's been like, I'm I'm so mad that you guys are gonna have this like workout summer and you guys are gonna get in shape and this whole thing. And she's like, I'm gonna have a post-pregnancy summer, I'm gonna be pregnant the whole sum the summer, and I'm gonna be. And I'm like, no, let's do it. Uh I'm I'm excited, she's excited for it because he's been it's something he's been like pushing and like planning, and like he's like excited for and he's and looking forward to, and he's like, We're gonna set this up, we're gonna do this, we're gonna work out at this time to this time, and then we've got football camp, and we've got and and knowing Aiden from where what he's come from and what he's faced, like seeing that excitement and planning towards something is is is huge. And and man, you blink, you blink, and he's going into high school next year, and I'm not ready, man. I'm not ready. I'm not I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready for to to I know we got Reed on the way, but man, dude. I'm not ready to see to to let Aiden He's going up too fast, man. That's beautiful. He's he's we have we have this uh me and Bree and him have this fantastic thing in our house where um you be honest with us, we be honest with you. We give you what we're facing in life, you give us what you're facing in life. There's nothing you should face alone, no matter what it is, if it's girls, if it's fights, if it's friendship, if it's something you're ashamed of, it's something like you did that you're in trouble for, if it's and oh man. It's family. Well I I I I don't I didn't know I think it I think I know that it's a very good thing. To a certain degree I did, but I didn't throw around sorry, I think it's thrown around and said so much more loosely than it actually being there. And and it goes on to a level like you you can have someone say that uh and even be there for you and say they're okay, like hey, I'm here for you if you need something. That's something different than having somebody that can that you can totally be open and free and be able to talk to, and that can really intellectually and and emotionally intellectually navigate and be there for you through it and not fall into their own uh emotional battles with it and not be able to be like say, hey, you know, I realize what our conversation or our argument last night or how I approached punishing you for lying to us about talking to your girlfriend, whatever, you know, something like that. I realize that how I approached and how I'm trying to guide you through this was incorrect. And I can say that to him. I can come to him and say, hey, you know, we're doing something wrong, or I feel like I or I think you're doing something wrong. I think you're approaching this wrong. And he can say that to us. And that open availability to be able to really see where you're coming from and not see the fake, the fake, you know, I have to be a parent, I have to be yes, yes, you do, and you have to, and I think that bring that role model and that structure there is so much more of being a parent than than hey, you're grounded because you did that, you did that, you did this. Yeah, you're gonna get your consequences when when they're due, but I want to see you learn the the reality of these things. I want to see you become a man. I want to see you, I don't want to see you uh fall into the structure of the rules of what you you think are what society believes that like the structure of this rule needs to be. That that's created emotionally unavailable men, that's created uh emotionally unavailable women now. That's that's created so many issues there that I faced with my family, that I've that I know a lot of a lot of people have faced. And I know people that that that could have saved. And that could have prevented a lot of things. I that's so much more important to me than than hey, I'm taking your tablet away from you.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:58

You know, um no, that's generational what you're doing.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:02

I I hope so, man. I and I long to for it, but like I you you see the you read the stuff like uh oh you're that you're the one to break that in your generate or your your bloodline or your it's true. You read upon things like that, and like I like I said earlier, I struggle with the whole like accepting your your your positions and and accepting your yeah your I I I think we're I think as a species we're at a doorstep of evolving.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:32

It's uh this is a whole big thing that we could spend an old two hours on, but um I think as a species we're evolving, we're seeing it in the way that we're talking to each other, the way we're connecting. This this conversation will be heard by hundreds or thousands or tens of thousands of people. And you you the way that you're operating with your son, um, and you're raising him. Uh two things I want to talk about here really quickly. One is again, Jake from State Farm from Element Mist. We had a conversation about um men have lost an initiatic period, like an initiatic period of their life.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:09

In in our culture at large. You having this workout summer with your son and teaching him to be a man is an initiatic period.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:16

And that's a very good thing. And then the other thing uh that I wanted to talk about that I was very impressed, uh, as I mentioned a few um minutes ago, my both my nieces when graduated from college, graduated from from EVET in cosmetology, and uh they had friends over, and we had all weekend, you know, I was over at my parents and helped them set up and we strong, you know, put up lighting, actually took some of the lighting from here and put it there so they could have a little photo booth. And did like balloons as like a like backdrop and the backyard set up all these tables and chairs and streamers all across the yard and and went the whole nine yards for it. And at right at nine o'clock, right at nine o'clock, everybody like my nieces were like, all right, let's clean up. And it wasn't it wasn't a the parents weren't like, hey kids, clean up or help us clean up. The kids on their own fruition said, Hey, everybody, let's clean up. They threw this party for us, let's clean up. And I watched, actually, it was funny because it was the girls that started. The girls were cleaning up and the guys were in the back, you know, and then my my niece went over and Tyler, what are you doing? Like, get your you know, you're tall, get up there and get the streamers. Oh, okay. And then of course he immediately snapped to it. He wasn't like, no, I don't want to. He was like, Oh, I'm so sorry. I was just in the middle of the conversation. And so they went and they cleaned the whole backyard, they stacked all the chairs, they they wiped all the chairs down, they stacked the chairs, they stacked the tables, they put them all back for us. We didn't have to do anything. And I was like, that was not me when I was 16. That was not me when I was 19. That was not me when I was 21.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:40

Yeah, we had we had to get the cattle prod. We had to get the cattle pod a little bit, which I which I would say probably created that for us to teach. I I I I still think that that's that's the reality there. I still think that that like some of that punishment scale or some of that strictness definitely created that ability to for us to imprint that, yes, and create that for I you're right. The the the the next evolution of that step in G-Man, like a hundred percent. The the replication would be like it would just you're you're just putting that choice onto the next. Yeah yes, but if you're it's choosing to make that evolution, it's choosing to push that next forward step rather than like, yeah, we can we can continue.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:37

It doesn't make it wrong, it makes it, yeah, we can restructure that that way, and yeah, we'd still create you know admirable decent humans, decent humans, but it wow, wow, but but you're doing something that's that may seem small to you, but the just like we spoke about in the very beginning, the karmic impact of the actions that you're taking, right? And the actions that we're taking, and and uh yeah, you have to include yourself, sir.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:06

You can't uh and I'm just the host of the show, man. Yeah, but that that you know, like I said, it makes me uncomfortable. That's a little narcissistic little plug there. Uh no, um man. You you made me come back to think on um oh that whole I'm just thinking about that whole that your nieces. Oh man. We've had we've had a few, well, I wouldn't even say a few, I'd say like pretty much just close to every time where we've sent Aiden over to like to to sleep over or something or to go hang out at a at it at Savannah's. Oh man, she's gonna kill me. I I'm trying to get the quote right in my head, or I I can't, I don't I don't want to do it as a direct quote because I I can't I don't can't say it. She call she called she called Bree and I think it was something along she said something along the lines is like it like can I keep him for longer or something? She's like he he was super respectful, he cleaned up after the boy, or he cleaned up after himself, and he was like he was just like how how do you what a call, what a call I was I was like, oh my god, like why isn't he always that way? You're like you're like what's the opposite of grounding? Yeah, yeah. And and I was she's like, what do you guys do to to have that? It was like oh, she said something he helped out with the digits. I was like that. The digits are done here. But it it made me see like the impact is is that he does it, he's that way and that kind and that supportive and that person out there naturally. He wasn't asked to, we didn't like say, hey, you better be on your best behavior when you go out there. It wasn't punishment or it wasn't, it wasn't, yeah. It wasn't like, hey, I'm you know, if you don't do if if if you're bad over there, like just go over there, have fun. And to him to cut naturally like hear that call or naturally come back that way. Uh Brie brought it to my table. Brie got the phone call, and I was like, damn you. But she got to like, I was like, see, that's that's your impact. That's our impact. That's that's yeah, how you want to structure yourself or or be there for him. Where it doesn't flourish is by punishment, like you said. You could yeah, you can make you can make somebody obey, you can create a human out of cause and effect, you can create a human out of positive and and consequence. But is that really do you want to do it that way? That's that's true. That's that can uh from our generation, a lot of us have that's trauma. Yeah, that's that's that's what we spent most of our our 20s fixing. Or if if we're able to do it in a in a better way and not necessarily think that's that's what our parents knew, you know, you can't blame them. No, you can't they were dealing with what was handed to them down the line, man. Down the line, a hundred percent. Like I don't I don't blame my family. What I you know they're environments, right? Yes. Right. If the sooner you get through that, that like how much if I if I could be who I was, uh who I am now, shit, if I could have been this person and know what I do now and and be able to approach as a human being as I do now in my early 20s, the impact change from that I could have left on my son then, oh dude, yeah. The what it what it could save the the the time and the hurt or the the the lessons that that could be understood without being understood. Yeah, it's easier to say that though, but don't be too self-happy. I know. No, I it's that no, it's beautiful to me. It it is, and and to me, stopping that chase is is like never stop that chase, never stop that ideal to always finding that next thing that you could change or be better at or or imprint better, or like okay, let's I don't want to stop and say, Oh, this is this is absolutely what I believe now, this is what I'm imprinted, this is kind of for frame and consequence. This was you know, once you do that, it's it's you're getting like snapshotted your intellectual understanding of things, your emotional understanding of things stops. And I I firmly believe that's what our parents, our gen their generation of stuff happened, was they like they got to a point where everyone, the society and everything says, hey, this is your lines, this is where you need to be within, this is what you need to do as as a family or as parents, as as a worker, as this. Those are the guidelines, those are what you need to stay within, or this is where the structure is. But that doesn't leave any room for growth. That doesn't leave any like, okay, you're punished for being abnormal or outside the road, you know, stepping above, or you're punished for that. It doesn't breed natural growth.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:57

I'm taking a look at the time here. We're we're coming up on two hours. I told you. I know I know my my um I I have let's see what time is it? It's 2.15. Wow. Um, I have some more time, but I just need to use a restroom. I can talk about it. Absolutely. You want to take a break.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:11

Yeah, let's take a break.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:17

Like you said, it feels like we stepped out of the world there for to the front of the office. Watch watch Rick and Morty and interdimensional cable episode right there.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:28

Yes, yes. Dude, that's so um, is it the 23rd? They have a new season. Oh, do they really? There's a new season coming.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:36

Has there been one since uh since Justin Royland was kicked out?

SPEAKER_03 1:51:40

Uh so they did do one. Uh was it any good?

SPEAKER_01 1:51:45

Dude, there's this guy in the screen who can do the accent perfectly, and I was like, just hire that guy. It sounds exactly the same.

SPEAKER_03 1:51:51

I I have my mixed I have my mixed opinions because some of the episodes were fantastic and like go back to like the older Rick and Morty, like the the when you get sucked into it when you first really like it. Absolutely. And then some of the episodes were just uh you could tell there's a change in the the the writing a little bit, but but no, they're still good. Okay, it's still worth the watch for sure. Okay. Um, so that's what we'll do. We'll have a we'll have a Rick uh we'll have a Rick watching party. So we'll do the level two one. Um I'll have to see if it's the 21st or 22nd. It's one of those two, but okay. We'll find out by then.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:29

Yeah, so okay, so we're back. Uh I had to uh take a pause there for a second. And uh yeah, I uh as I mentioned to you outside, let's end on a light note. We've had uh we had we had a very good conversation. Uh but uh what I want what I'm curious about is where are you taking the Jeep next? What's next for the Jeep?

SPEAKER_03 1:52:50

What's next for it?

SPEAKER_01 1:52:51

Oh well no, where are you taking it? What what adventure are you going on next?

SPEAKER_03 1:52:55

Oh well uh so this this might this might end up being an invite. Um Brie is uh this is probab uh like we've already said this is I think it's her last day getting in and out of it.

SPEAKER_00 1:53:10

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:11

So she can't yeah, uh we have to have a a step still stair for her, but I don't think I think we're at this point where she can't go anywhere. And I was possibly thinking of right before it gets too obnoxiously hot out um a boys camping, which I've done this before with a group of my friends, and it was the most fantastic, just raw, chaotic boys' camping trip to Sheepsbridge. Oh a couple days out there at Sheepsbridge, and before it gets too obnoxiously hot, but there's the river right there, the the there's a rope swing off the bridge, that's there's hot springs there. I'm in. Dude, I'm in a hundred million percent. If you haven't done it already, I haven't.

SPEAKER_01 1:53:53

I I heard about it, but I have not got it.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:55

Okay, all right. I'll get I'll get the boys in. We'll go.

SPEAKER_01 1:53:58

Like I said, the the my truck is set up for that. This is gonna happen in the back.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:02

If there's a kitchen in this pressurized water, like it's this may even have to be like a last minute emerg, just just unplanned, unjust what are you doing this weekend?

SPEAKER_01 1:54:12

Shoot me a tag this weekend? What are you doing this weekend? I mean, I just had like general chores, but I could do those whenever.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:18

I have I have baby shower next weekend. Okay, and from there it's 120 degrees out.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:24

Yeah, I was gonna say next weekend I'm doing I'm going up that route that I told you, Browns Peak, and uh uh what is that? Yeah, Roosevelt Lake and then Apache Lake. Well, stay tuned.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:36

We'll have to I'll I'll see I'll I'll call around because the the to two two people two or three people that um I did this last time, it was like this. It was two days beforehand. That's it, it's like the best chaotic part of it. That's that's how it's that's fun. All right, all right, I'll make my calls today.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:55

Um well I let's uh I think we should let's let's let's wrap up here. Yeah. Uh and then we'll do a little QA session. Yeah. Uh but uh Jason, it was a pleasure, brother. John. More to come. I'm looking forward to the next one. Two hours was way too short. I know.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:14

Two hours is way too short. I'm gonna need to hear more of you, uh, more of your story. I was just yapping.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:21

We we we Russ and I have talked about Russ Russ hosting and me uh having absolutely