FEEL IT But Don’t Let It Feel YOU ‼️🤏🏼

In this episode, I open up about a personal experience that forced me to take a real look at myself after going through a painful situation. But this isn’t just about what happened—it’s about what happens when emotions try to take over your identity.

I talk about the difference between feeling your emotions and becoming them. Because there’s a thin line between healing… and losing yourself in what hurt you.

This episode is a reminder that you can go through something heavy without letting it define who you are.

If you’ve ever had to pick yourself back up while your emotions were still loud—this one is for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to the main character mindset. And if you're new here, welcome. Today, I don't even have a topic. I just want to talk to y'all about some real life shit. I ain't podcasted in what? Shit, almost a month. Your girl's been going through some real life shit. And I want to share the lessons that I've learned with you guys. Just hear me out. Okay? My relationship, well, he's my ex-boyfriend. And he recently got incarcerated. And me being me, I jumped to his rescue playing Captain Saver Ho. His mom ended up doing some weird shit to him, and I felt bad. And that's where it all started. I basically tried to help him out. And with a manipulator, you can't help. Because they take your help and make it fit their narrative. So let me break y'all down the situation. So a couple weeks passed, and we was cool. We was talking, you feel what I'm saying? I'm trying to help him keep his head up in there. All types of extra shit. You feel what I'm saying? Being the person that I am. Because I don't like to see people hurting. And people take just because I'm an empath, they use that shit against me. And because we were together for four years prior to us breaking up, I still tried to keep the connection open because at the end of the day, I I did love him. But it turned out that I loved him more than myself. The manipulation, I didn't see the manipulation those four years. So when I left to go to Georgia and I ended up coming back, everything was different. I didn't look at my atmosphere the same. So with him saying what he said, and I had a dream. Like I have very strong dreams when shit ain't right. It was a dream of him laying in a bed with a baby on him and a girl in his closet. So I was like, at first, like I interpreted a dream because most people interpret the dream, okay, there's something wrong with you. Like it's something that you're not doing. So I'm like, okay, I sat there for a whole fucking day trying to figure out what this dream is. And it struck me. It's this recurring thought about how he cheated on me on my birthday because this girl was blowing his phone up. I'm talking about blowing it down. And it made me cry because I already knew what it was, and I knew that he wasn't gonna tell me. So as he's sitting in that cell, I asked him about it. Do you understand that that motherfucker lied to me? And you know this is jail phone calls. You only get 15 minutes. I was ending them 15 minutes. Every time I know that you're lying. When you feel that feeling in your stomach, it's the truth. Okay? Don't second guess your intuition because your intuition knows everything before your mind can catch up. Okay? Don't ever doubt yourself. Because that's how the manipulation starts. Strong mind don't fold, okay? Head up, chest out. So, as I'm asking him about it, I'm asking him about it. I'm talking about it took about three to four hours for this motherfucker to admit what happened. And then downplayed it and told me I was tripping. I know you're fucking lying. So he had the audacity after he told me and I hung up to call me back and tell me that he loved me. I ain't never laughed so fucking hard in my life. You ever been in a situation where you can't even be mad no more? The tears themselves, all types of extra shit. You cannot be mad about that shit no more. All you can do is take responsibility for what the fuck you allowed. And once you come to grips with your accountability for the shit that you allowed, fuck them. Because anybody that tells you that they love you after they lied to you, they don't love you, baby. That's control. That is manipulation. Okay? That is manipulation at its finest. And that's why I created a platform that exposes that in men and women. Because sometimes we do it and we don't know it. You feel me? Nobody in this world is perfect. And like social media, they don't talk about this shit. They don't talk about what it really takes to really heal from an emotional fucking loop with somebody that you thought that you loved and it was really a fucking trauma bond. That right there is some fucked up reality. People make healing feel so like it's supposed to look so good. So now you look at yourself like, damn, am I doing it right? If you don't feel it, you ain't doing it right. And a lot of people don't feel it. They numb it. On this platform, we feel that shit and we move differently. So with season two, maybe with season two, we learn it, learning. You hear what I'm saying? We opened up journals, workbooks, and guides. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? The whole time I was going through this shit, I turned my my pain and the purpose. The real definition of shining, bro. I was a fucking grade A crash out. And when I say crash out, bro, I wasn't just beating on shit. No, I was out here doing dumb shit. You feel what I'm saying? I was out here doing dumb shit. That's the definition of a fucking crash out, doing dumb shit. Granted, I'm 29 years old, but I've been through some shit that'll make you feel like I was 45. And I'm here to share those experiences with you because some people are stuck. Like I received DMs and I love you guys so much. Because little did y'all know y'all got me out of my little funk. Y'all really did with the encouraging words, and I really thank y'all. I really do. I really do. To know that I'm uh I that people actually support me. Like you're not the only one that feels alone. You feel what I'm saying? And I spend myself trying to comfort everyone else. And to know that people actually listen to what I have to say, it means a lot. I'm sorry, y'all, I'm getting emotional. But it does, it means a lot. Because when you're coming out of survival and emotional attachments, sometimes all you need to do, all you need to hear is you got this. Keep going. Throw shit. Because you're not broken. God just showed you where you need boundaries. That's it. God is showing you what you tolerate. And sometimes that's not a hard part. That's a when you think that you're doing it all right. Like, for instance, you ever prayed about some shit and everything around you just started falling apart. Whole time you're thinking God don't like me. No, baby. He you were in misalignment. And sometimes that friction is what shakes everything the fuck off. You on the potter's wheel and some shit can't come with you. It feels like you dying on the inside. But you're not. You're a fine and real shit, bro. You are. Because you have to go through you, you because you were that caterpillar. You you're that caterpillar and you prayed for the butterfly. But what you failed to realize is that you needed to become you needed to be to get in that chrysalis and you need to liquefy. Because this the shit that you did when you was a caterpillar does not, does not you can't take it with you to be a butterfly. Because caterpillars are just surviving. Butterflies fly. I have this on my head for about two weeks now. I just didn't know how to say it. So I really thank you guys for your support. Because this is not only just a podcast, it's a movement to become a main character in your own life. Because nobody's coming to save you but you. You feel me? So sometimes you gotta cry them tears. Because it's the only way. Like I beat myself up all the time. Cause I'm like, damn, I should be further than where I'm where I'm at. Nah, bro. I'm right on time. Because sometimes them lessons that you had to learn, them detours that you had to take, nah, bro. You right on time. It's the lessons that you had to learn to fulfill your purpose. Because everybody's here for a re for a purpose. You feel what I'm saying? Everybody on this earth has a purpose to fulfill. Everyone. And you can't fulfill that purpose if you live in a survival mode or or or you trying to survive your relationship. You can't do it. You can't be level-headed surviving, bro. And a lot of us are surviving. So, season two, we learn how to live again, bro. We're coming back to ourselves. You understand what I'm saying to you? So if you've been tuning in, oh baby, it ain't nothing like last season. Last season was just the warm-up. Real shit. Last season was just the warm-up for this season. And that is the truth. I'm just blessed to have a second chance at life. There's gonna be certain instances, you know what I'm saying? Sometimes it might be like a trauma trigger, and that's not the intention. The intention is to create awareness. Because I'm not ashamed of anything that I've gone through in life. Anything that I did, anything I said, I don't live my life with any regrets. Because I took accountability for everything that I did and I said, and I stood on it. And a lot of us we shame ourselves for the things that we do and the things that we say. You feel what I'm saying? Because we don't want to hurt people's feelings. Now fuck that. Because when it was you, didn't nobody give a fuck. Nobody. Nobody cared. You have to care about you. Because nobody's gonna hurt you when you put your heart in your hands. Feel me? But also what comes with that is healing. Because granted, you could have your heart in your hands and you can still harm yourself. You feel what I'm saying? If that made sense. Because if you have your heart in your hand the right way, nobody can come in between that because you love yourself, you value yourself. But if you have your heart in your hands and you don't value yourself and you don't love yourself, you hand it over to somebody to still put you through that loop. Different face, same person. The lesson's gonna keep appearing. The lesson's gonna keep appearing until you learn you. So take them silent times and get to know yourself. Voice record when you feel some type of way. Because after that incident happened, I have this voice recording on my phone that I made after all that happened. And I listen to it because you're still gonna have that sensation of missing them. Because the emotional core is not gonna cut right then and there. And when I say detached, I don't mean be cold, bro. I mean release a motherfucker in love. That's what I mean by fuck them. Release them in love and keep it pushing. Even when it hurts. Because it's gonna hurt, bro. It's gonna hurt before you get clear about anything. It's gonna hurt. Them emotional loops don't feed them. The what ifs don't feed them. Find what you like to do. Find you. Cause you can't become a main character if you don't know you. Real shit. And I hope this landed with somebody. Real shit. That's no real man. Real shit. Head up, chest out, baby. Cause no matter what, knees wobbly and all, baby. You got this. I think you promise you do. You got this. Real shit. And don't let nobody tell you otherwise. I love you all. And I'll see you on the next episode, main character.