The Gap: Why You Don’t Follow Through

Awareness can bring clarity, but it can also bring frustration.

In this episode of Soul Medicine: Healing Out Loud, Angela explores “the gap”—the space between knowing what needs to change and actually doing something differently.

This episode helps listeners understand why follow-through is not always about motivation or discipline. Sometimes, the nervous system pulls us back toward what is familiar, predictable, and known—even when that familiar pattern is no longer helping.

You’ll explore:

•  why awareness does not automatically create change 
•  what happens in the space between knowing and doing 
•  how resistance can be understood as protection 
•  why familiar patterns can feel safer than new behavior 
•  how to begin noticing what happens in your body before you fall back into old responses 

This is not about judgment.
 It is about awareness, grace, and learning how to stay present when change begins to feel unfamiliar.

Regulation must precede resolution.

Thank you for listening to Soul Medicine: Healing Out Loud.
 This is a space for reflection, awareness, and intentional living.

If this episode resonated with you, take a moment to sit with what you’ve noticed.

Until next time, remember—Regulation Before Resolution™

 If you’re ready to take the next step, you can find more resources and ways to connect at aaspiringwellness.com.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:10

Hello, and welcome to Soul Medicine Healing Out Loud. I'm Angela, and this is Episode Eight. This episode names the space between awareness and action. Remember, we're not fixing because you're not broken. Let's get grounded with your feet flat on the floor. Just notice the ground beneath you. If you're seated, allow yourself to be supported. We're going to take a deep breath in through the nose for four, holding for four, and allowing your exhale to be a release from your toes to the top of your head. Deep breath in three, two, hold three, two, exhale. A lot of times we start to blame ourselves. We place judgment on me. When I'm in session with clients that understand but still feel stuck, the main thing that we discuss is grace.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

Oftentimes we forget that we have been practicing dysfunction for so long that it became our normal.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

And we can have a made up mind to make changes. However, practice.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

No, it does not make perfect.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

Perfection will drive you into the ground. But mastery that comes with time, experience, and consistent practice. Awareness brings clarity. However, for many people, it also brings frustration. You can see the pattern. You can name the behavior, and still not do anything differently. There is a space between knowing and doing. And this is not a discipline problem. This is a nervous system problem. You see, our nervous systems prioritize familiarity, predictability, and perceived safety. Even when those patterns are not helpful.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

You are stuck because your system does not yet feel safe doing something different.

SPEAKER_00 10:55

The gap is the moment where awareness asks for action. You know you should speak up, but you stay silent. You know you need rest, but you keep working. And you know the pattern, but repeat it constantly. Concept two is what happens in the gap. There's hesitation, overthinking, distraction, emotional overwhelm, an internal negotiation. This is the moment where your system begins to protect the familiar. Concept three is the resistance refrained. You see, resistance is not failure. Resistance is protection. Your system is asking, is this safe? Is this familiar? Do we know how this ends? Familiar does not mean healthy. Even unhealthy patterns feel safer than uncertainty, new behavior, and emotional exposure. I think I need to say that again. Even unhealthy patterns feel safer than uncertainty, new behavior, and especially emotional exposure. Ask yourself, where do I notice the gap in my life? Don't rush to answer. And remember, you're not fixing anything. You're not broken. You're simply noticing. Put the gavel down. We're not judging. Next question. What do I tend to do in that gap moment? And lastly, what am I avoiding feeling? I often ask a question in my sessions. And depending upon where the person is in their healing journey, the response is different. My question: What's the fear? We don't like to admit we have fear. Do you feel tension? Hesitation. Distraction? Awareness shows you the truth. But change it requires a little bit more. Change requires the ability to stay present in the moment where your system wants to return to what is familiar.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

In the next episode, we'll begin to explore how this gap shows up in relationships where regulation is not just personal, but relational.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Thank you for listening.