I'm Sorry. Please Forgive Me

I'm sorry.  

Please forgive me.  

I never wanted to hurt you.  

You played a huge part in my life.  

I truly love you. 

And learned so much from you.  

Our energies have changed form.  

Time has made the emotions softer.  

That's the gift of transformation.  

We played our parts   

In the stories of growth.   

We shared ourselves, and. 

 Loved in the best ways we knew how,   

with what we were given.  

Life brought us experiences and challenges 

That stretched us beyond 

What we were before.

Mi Amor,

I am not not mad.

My heart is sad.

I will not blame or dishonor you.

I respect you and your gifts.

Bless you on your way.

Live this day in peace.

I want nothing more, 

Then to see your friends and family 

Loving and supporting you.

You are such a bright and beautiful person. 

 I'm inspired by you 

And your parts to play in these changing times. 

Thank you for all the things you did

That brought us pleasure.

Thank you for the beautiful memories.

Thank you for sharing your bright heart 

And all the best parts of you.

I pray that you find solace, support,

And loving hearts there to support you when you need it. 

May you be well on all levels.

I love you.

I'm sorry.

I had to go my own way.

I trust that your higher self 

Is paving the way 

For your greatest day.

🙌💕✨

🌅 Chatara

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What to do when your life falls apart. Take a chill, pill. Like first of all, stop freaking the fuck out. You really? You don't need to scream and shout. You don't need to go straight into worst case scenario. You don't need to start running around deciding all these crazy ass things when you're in a state of panic. Calm down. And first breathe. Please just breathe. How many people are freaking out and not breathing? They're hyperventilating. They're not thinking clearly. Please calm down. Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath in. The nose. God reaching this energy up through the forehead up, rolling up over the head. The top of the head. Crown like this. You got this golden hat. Imagine it. I'm seeing like um I don't know, a cowboy. It's a cowboy with some really good boots and spurs, and he's chewing on some hay. He's leaning up against a barn. Yeah, he's kind of muscly dude. Yeah, he's got hair springing out from his shirt and they're buttons down to his like chest. Yeah, he's a tough dude. Yeah, I don't know why I'm seeing him, but this is the way. Oh, I go all the ways into seeing these men. How many men does it take until you understand Divine Masculine? I don't know, I'm trying I'm trying to find him. And I look and I look and I look into each book each life story and what do I see? The rise to glory. I see the growth. I see the changes, I see the expansions, I see the mansions and I see the closets with the skeletons. I see the Holy Ghost, I see most things people do not see. Oh boy. Could you imagine trying to date me? No. Who would want to be with someone as sensitive and intuitive and gifted and creative and smart and powerful as me. Are you kidding? I see everything. There's no lying to me. You may say words you think I am buying. I'm not. I see you trying. I see you trying to be the one you tell me you are. And I see the ways in which you are starting to walk that path. But please understand, I will never, I will never be duped. No matter how many times you've duped somebody else, me, I'm highly educated. I got a lot of life experience, a lot of training under my belt. I got a master's degree. I see it all. And I do my best to date with the rest of us. I do my best to find a partner who can pass my tests. Who? Who could do this? Bless you, all of you who have tried. All of the men in my life who I have loved, all the people in my life who I've hugged, who I've touched, who I've shared kisses and sweet exchanges and intimacies, anyone who I've made love with. I opened myself up to you completely. I shared my heart. I shared the part of me that was most tender, most vulnerable the private parts of myself. The parts that the sun don't shine even. You got to see in the darkness. You who sees in the darkness sees the parts of me I don't see. You see the parts of me in my entirety. And thank you for that because you helped me to see those parts of me. You brought out all the best parts of me and you brought out all the worst parts of me. I've been in ecstasy and I've been in agony. I've dated the most brilliant, creative, inspiring, intelligent masters in their fields and what they do and what they're excited about and how they share their gifts with the world. These amazing humans doing their part to be in a world that is changing, doing their part to be part of the rearranging. I was proud to be with each and every one of you. Each and every one of you, I am so grateful has been in my life. You know, there may have been some strife, and every relationship has ended. I'm single once again. But I'm learning something, my friends. That I've taken each and every one of you with me. Wherever I've been. And this actually physically is a real thing for women. You know, if you make love to a woman and you ejaculate inside of her without using a condom, you leave that part of you, your semen, inside of her. And it actually penetrates deep, deep down into some part of her that never goes away. Yes, she has a cycle. She has a moon time. So soon she will bleed, and that will take away most of your seed. But by that point, some of your DNA and some of your life stories and your histories stay with her. And the parts of her that loved you that opened herself to you if you were blessed enough to be loved by her, Wuman, goddess. You received the best of her. You received the sacred gifts of tenderness. You received her love. You received her hug and her care. You received the things that helped you to ride the waves of your emotions, she helped you get out of your head. She helped you get into your body. She helped you ride the waves of divinity to the other side, and when you lost yourself in her, you touched the very part of you that made you feel alive. You who thrive, you who go into the world to change it. You who want to be the one who discovers the thing that changes it all. You who will not be small, you who come into this world bold and brave and proud, you live out loud. There is no fear in your world. You run this world, but you who runs the world also acts as the judge and condemner. You who runs the world, the ones who rise to the top with so much gold to show. You who have the hairiest chests and the biggest golden hats. You run the show, and I beg you as a woman, mother, goddess herself, who taps into the very wellspring of life, I beg you, bring your power, bring your intelligence, your wisdom, your life experience, your resources, your gifts to this world to change it. And the things that came before you in the past that keep you bound now, that keep you bound now in the karmic cords of the blood you spill. I ask you, please cut the cords and do your part to write a new story so we do not repeat history. Do you hear me? You who runs the show, you who has the power, this hour I pray, you go another way. You who runs the show, who are starting to run the show in a state of anger and fear and pride are about to take us to the other side. Death. You who runs the show right now are killing many, many people. Many, many animals, many, many species. We are going extinct. You who runs the show right now, I beg you. Stop your progression forward. Stop your wars. Stop anything that brings you into a state of excitation and destruction. I speak in the name of the mother. I speak in the Earth goddess herself. I am her priestess first. And I dedicate my life to her. Whoever is here in the name of destruction for her or her babies will no longer be allowed to run the show. I call forth all the goddesses now. I call forth my woman priestesses. I call forth the mothers. Anybody who wants to see their future as bold and beautiful and brilliant. Any mother who wishes to see a better world for their children. I call you forth now and I ask you to stand in your power. I ask you to share your gifts with the world in a way that preserves the world. I ask you to bring forth your heart, all the parts of you that have a part to play in saving the day. Who's here to say yay to life? Who's here to say hey? We got the light. Who's here ready to make change in this world because the world we're in is broken? Who is done with suffering? Who is done with shame and pain and blame? Who's ready to make a difference for a future for us all? Who's ready to stop being small? Who's ready to step in their power and change the world for good? Please say I and welcome your hearts and welcome the parts of you that have been most vulnerable. Anyone who has loved a woman, I call you forth. Any man who has ever held a woman in his arms and truly loved her, who truly supported her and her babies. Any man that has ever loved a woman and her children, I call you forth. Any man who wishes to preserve that woman and her children, I call you forth. Any man who has ever loved a mother and hugged her and supported her and honored her and followed her. I call you forth. Any man who has ever loved a mother and her children, I call you forth. You use the force every day. Yay. I feel like Princess Leia right now. This is really funny. I'm calling forth any being right now on the planet that identifies as not being from this planet. Did I just say that? Yes. I call forth the fairies. I call forth the elves. Oh, I call forth the Sasquatchians. Ah yeah. All the indigenous star nations. I call forth the mythical creatures that still stand here today. I know I see you too. I see what you do. Oh, I call forth the the beings from other planets, the extraterrestrial ones. I know I see you too. I do. I do. I started this recording by saying you can't lie to me. You can't hide from me because I see you physically and I also see you energetically and spiritually. I see you emotionally. I hear you telepathically. I feel you empathically. I've spent my life surrounding myself with those who are the most sparkly, the most gifted, and the most um the ones with the superpowers. I call you forth. If you've ever shared a place with me, a sacred space, perhaps in nature, playing in ceremony, I call you forth. If anybody knows me and loves me in my life at any point in history, I call you forth. If anybody is ready to change this world, please step into your power. Please stop being silent. Please stop being feeling like you're alone. We're not alone. We tap into the tapestry of physicality with eyes to see. We're so conscious in these times. We're soul shines. We ride the waves of creativity this day, and we say yay to life. We say yay to what's bright, and we do our part to share it as gifts with the world because many people are in darkness, but I call forth the artists, I call forth the visionaries, I call forth the healers and the feelers and the revealers of the world we are creating. I call forth the ones who are here to create the new earth. I call forth the rainbow tribes. I call forth the ones who are ready to be alive in a time that is changing. Everything is rearranging, you know it is. There's only a matter of time when we run out of resources. This is what they're telling us. These war, these war-bound beings. They're telling us we must either fight each other to survive or we will die. An eye for an eye, and they want us all to be blind. They want us all to not see what is happening here. We, let me make it very clear, we are becoming slaves. We are about to enter a time in history unlike anything you have ever experienced before. Everything is about to change as you've ever known it here, living in the United States or wherever you are. I've been to many countries in the world. There's many, many people living in many different ways. And I'm here to say everything is about to change. Everything is about to burn down from the ground up. We are about to change. Everything we have ever known is about to change. We just entered a portal that began in 2020. We started to see with new eyes. We started to see with 2020 vision. Have you ever wondered what this meant? We started to see through the fabric of reality. We started to see the way our societies, our worlds, our governments were breaking down. We started to live in a state of fear and isolation and panic. We had an existential crisis the world has never known. We had the pandemic, we had people dying, we had fear for our lives, and we saw history come back in a way that only our grandparents and our great-grandparents and their grandparents knew. We'd heard of the plagues, we've heard of the abominations, we've heard of the pestilence and the destruction. We've heard of it all, but in our generation, me, where I was born in the United States in the years I was born, I'd never experienced it in my life, my generation. 2020 brought the experience of every human finally coming to terms with the fact that they would die. Every human on the planet realized they would die, and everyone they loved could die, and they no way would ever take part in a world where they would die. So they did whatever it took to survive. Did you not? Every being in a city, especially, was told to wear a mask to be Separated six feet to not participate in any social gatherings, to not go to any parks where I lived. Children were not allowed to play in a park outside. They were not allowed to be on a swing. They were not allowed to walk on the beach. We had a curfew. We had to go in. We could not be touching the sand past what six o'clock? No, eight o'clock. In Seattle, the sun doesn't even go down until ten. You can't watch a waterfall, you can't watch the sunset. It was so interesting. The parks were taped off. You know, I had it good. I at least had a green, green forest with rivers and waterfalls and streams, and I got to at least be in nature. Some people weren't allowed to leave their house. It became prisons. I've heard of other countries where if somebody left their house they would be beaten by the police. You know, so many people lived in fear. And the only way they could communicate was online. You couldn't talk in person, of course. So we had no choice but to plug ourselves in online. Not just us, but anyone that was connected to the system that had to continue it. What's this? At school education, the kids had to stay in school. Online, they got a computer. Every kid got a laptop. Doesn't matter where they were, at least in my in my area where I was living in West Seattle, we were, all the kids got laptops. And they no longer had books. Kids no longer have books. They don't have paper. They don't have pencils or pens. They don't have erasers. Everything kids do on school is now online. And they must always be hooked up to this online system with a computer pointing at them. And they see other kids with the computers pointing at them in their own environments, and they become more and more and more and more and more isolated. Now these kids learn that it's not safe to be with each other. These kids outside are wearing masks. These kids outside are wearing masks when science tells us we don't need to. Those with strong immune systems, yet these kids are being told they must fear for their lives. I'm a therapist and a mother. Do you know what it does to kids when you tell them that they will die if they spend any time outside with anybody else? It isolates them. It gives them social anxiety. It gives them paranoia. It gives them all sorts of neuroses and psychoses. Do you know how many kids right now I'm seeing as a therapist? I've worked with many at-risk youth, and I'm telling you one thing. Every kid now is an at-risk youth kid. I don't care where they're from, where their hood is. I am seeing so much mental illness in these kids that never should have experienced it. Little, little kids who lost their developmental abilities to socialize, to be in the same room. They lost an ability to do this. These little kids, and guess what? Now that they're older, you know, this whole hit in 2020, we're in 2026. It's been six years. These kids that never learned to be with each other are now only comfortable communicating online. We're creating a generation of kids that are on the spectrum. We're creating a generation of kids that are have mental health issues and ADHD and they need to become medicated. We're giving them medications for anxiety and depression. And and we're we're giving them labels. We're giving these kids marks on them and their character for the rest of their lives. How could we do this as a generation? We are failing our kids. And I'm done with this system. Listen, the most important thing right now is that we band together. Is that we join together and we create communities of support for each other? And this is not online. This is not online. We need to know the people we live with. We need to know our community, our members, our neighbors. We need to know them as friends. It's the only way we're gonna survive. I'm telling you this, we're in the end times as we know it. And it does not have to be scary. You do not have to buy the lie that we are gonna start fighting each other for the last can of beans. It's not like that. Only if you make it like that. They want you to do it that way. You want you know why? Because if you start fighting each other, they can create martial law and they can send you into your houses. Because in 2020, when the pandemic hit and we were so isolated and scared, we signed our lives away. We signed our power away, and now the government can create martial law anytime they want. And if there's pandemonium and chaos in the streets, guess who can take over the tr the streets and it becomes a military? Do you know what happens in a military state? It's not great. I've seen it. I grew up in in some places where there was some chaos in the streets. I was in Los Angeles when the riots hit. In not a great part of town. Oh, I saw windows broken in. I saw buildings set on fire. I saw the worst racism and hatred you've ever seen. I saw people shot in the streets. I've seen gangbang shootings. Listen, I'm not a sensitive chick. I'm quite tough. I got a body that unfortunately doesn't do well in chemicals and toxic situations, multiple chemical sensitivities. Unfortunately, it's made me tough. I have to survive in a world where I'm constantly feeling like I gotta fight and I've got the flu and nausea and all the shit. People with perfume that make me vomit after going into a store to buy something. I know so many people just don't care. So many people are so they don't even think about the air, the public air we breathe. They think about the public water we drink, they don't think about the public air we breathe. I'm so tired of being sick. And I'm so tired of people around me being sick. I'm so tired of getting the ick. I've gotten the ick over and over and over again in so many scenarios because people don't think about the planet. They're doing things to destroy it, and they're getting sick. And I'm a canary in the coal mine, and I'm telling you what, we're all getting sick. You think it's just the animals that are becoming extinct? We've got a certain amount of time left in these bodies. And I beg you, if you're if you want life, if you want future generations, if you want your kids to have happy lives, if you want your kids to have kids, if you want your kids' kids to have kids, if you actually want a future in any way, do you if you want to survive through their DNA, if you want to be the DNA, if you want to become the ancestors in a good way, save the day. Save the day. Use your powers, use your your gifts, use your brains, get together and create change. This is a village scenario here. You create villages, you create tribes. In real life, get yourself unplugged, get yourself unplugged, unplugged from a system that tells you to be afraid. Get together with your neighbors, get to know who they are as people. Not as, not as the identifications that the governments told you you needed to look at each other with. You know, my mother was born in Haiti, Haiti. It got conquered by two different parts of Europe. Half speak French, half speak Spanish, but the indigenous ones and the ones brought from Africa, those ones had their own languages. But you know, those people are told, oh, we must fight each other because there's this man-made wall on a body of the most beautiful island you'd ever see. Haiti, the land of the high mountains. The Arawak Taino lived in such bliss. Are you kidding? It was paradise. All the Caribbean islands are paradise. Of course people want to live there and they conquered there. And unfortunately, they told the people that lived there, oh, they cannot talk to each other, they must fight each other. You know why they did this? And you know why they took people as slaves and didn't allow them to congregate or to share their languages or their traditions? Because it disempowered them. You know, in one generation you can lose a language. My mother was born in Haiti and they spoke Crayle, and then they were forced to go to school, and so they had to speak French. They moved to the United States to escape poverty and war and all the bloodshed in Haiti. It's one of the worst places on the planet to be, especially if you're in poverty. Bless you all. My family. My family broke free, you know, they broke free from the sugar plantations and the histories of slavery. And the ones that took to the mountains to save themselves. Those beings ride through me. That's part of my ancestry. I'm also the ones that conquered them. I find all my ancestors come from all parts of the lands, from every religion and every race. Somehow I am a culmination of them. I understand them. They still live through me. I hold my holy divinity in a place of reverence. And I do my part in the present moment to try to remind them of their own holy divinity. You and me, eyes to see. If you and me, eyes to see, gaze into each other, we would see eternity. We would see divinity reflected back. We would see, you know, when you put two mirrors together, what do you see? That hallway of mirrors to infinity. This is what happens when you lock eyes with another being. This is the power of seeing ourselves and someone else. Us as great I am consciousness only has an ability to know ourselves from our perspectives, from our parts of the world, our births, until our deaths. It's our greatest stories, but we don't know anybody else's stories. We come to this planet to understand other people's stories, to experience their glories. It helps us understand our own. We have to separate ourselves, it's a process of individuation from a soul station. It's a really exciting story we're living in right now. As a soul, everyone is here in a body experiencing life changing. When we die, we ride the rainbow bridge to the other side, and then from this place, it's ecstasy. From this place, we see ourselves in our entirety. And once we do, as a soul, we realize we are the one acting as like the ozone layer around the planet. We are the biosphere of consciousness. We break our brains up into the bits of the planet, and it becomes the webs. Yes, we have an internet, yes, we have Wi-Fi, yes, we have cell phones and all the things that keep us attached and addicted and dysregulated and desensitized and separated. Yes, we have that. Thank goddess we have more than this. We have a body, we have thoughts, we have emotions, we are all elements, all streams of awareness and consciousness. Who is this? As a soul we are one. As a soul we are the white light surrounding the planet. As a soul we get ignited by the sun each day from sunrise, each night to sunset. We have a halo around us of rainbow colors every day, in all the ways and all the seasons and every time. We tap into divine threads of light that penetrate us from the inside out and the outside in. We become an antenna. Oh of what of what? Everything we tap into we become a radio station for everything we hear. We tap into every stream of awareness because as a soul that is one with God in all that is whole, all the light. As a soul that is bright and beautiful and well aware of itself, it is aware of the fact that itself is all beings it's seeing. Guess what you get to do, kid? You get to see yourself in all perspectives and always from all other people on the planet. You get a body book, you get to share the story of Gaia. You get to ride a glorious body ship through the coolest story you'll ever know. Do you know how cool this story is right now we're in? We're in like the final chapters of the story we've been living. You guys were born one way. Kind of as slaves, guys, gals, everybody who identifies in between, because there are whole spectrums of ways of being.

unknown 38:57

Hahaha.

SPEAKER_00 38:58

I see you and I love you, and I appreciate you, and I thank you for your boldness and your courage to go forth. I identify as many streams of awareness. Every color and every chakra and every element and every eye I see. And I thank you if you see me. I thank you if you hear me. And I thank you if you've touched me in any way. Anyone I've ever loved, anyone I've ever hugged. I love you. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being human. I'm sorry for the ways I broke myself and you. I'm sorry for the the tears we shed. I'm sorry for the separation. I was never meant to be with you forever. I could only be with you for a short time. Because my divine line says I must run through all time. All bodies. As a woman, I shared my body with the bodies of men. As a mother, I shared my body with my husband. And I've also shared my body, not in marriage, but as a divorcee. And as a mother and as a lover. And as someone who really deeply cares for life. I just want to say thanks for sharing some of your life and your light with me. Because I saw you. I saw the best parts of you. I saw your gifts. I saw your creativity and your aspirations. I saw you in all the ways you've grown and evolved and changed. I've seen your blossoming creativity. You've inspired me so much. I'm so grateful to know you. I'm sorry I'm I'm not still with you. But I love you. You know, love doesn't stay the same. It it changes. All the ones I've loved that I'm no longer with, please understand how much I thank you for all the ways you've helped me to grow and change. I hope I did the same for you. I held up a mirror to you. I hope I showed you the best parts of you. And I'm sorry I had to show you the worst parts of you. I'm sorry to those of you that I broke up with in heartbreak. I'm feeling it now as if someone else I've just let go of. I really loved. I feel like every person I've ever loved and been with that I'm not with now. I'm so sorry. I hurt you in some way. And I forgive you if you've hurt me. And I'm so sorry. And I pray that the seeds we planted in each other when we loved each other and hugged and loved. I pray that those seeds that were the best of us, that saw each other in our best, I pray that those seeds that they sprout and that they bloom beautifully in our lives, and that those parts of us move forward to find future love, future hugs in ways that feel harmonious and happy and healthy. I pray that we find our love and our joy and our excitement and our tribes. I pray that we find our vibes. We all go in different ways, we all have different ways of being and speaking and seeing, and that we find the commonalities and that we let go of the anger from the past, that we cut ourselves from the cords of blame and shame. I want to free myself from all the ones I've hurt and all the ones that have hurt me. For really, in our entirety as souls, we love each other. We come in as a soul tribe with stories, and we signed up for having roles to play for Shakespeare's set all the worlds a stage, and all the people are merely actors on it, and we all have roles to play in each other's lives, and you know, the beauty of these lives is that we get to play different roles for different people. We get to be a bitch to one person and a saint to another. We get to be a hero to someone and we get to be an asshole. We get to experience the full spectrum of humanity. We get to see ourselves and we get to project our darker shadow selves onto others so we can see it. We get to see the good, the bad, and the ugly. We get to experience humanity at its best and its worst. We have a projected screen of awareness around our brains right now that shows us the worst and the worst and the worst. I don't know why. Because we are slaves and I come from ancestors that have freed themselves. So I have them in me, and they're saying, Go, kid, go! Take the show. I'm running the show right now and I'm saying no. I'm running the show right now and I'm saying no. Any of you who are calling in a powerhouse, any of you who are calling in the rebel fighters who are not fighting with weapons, but with hugs and love and creativity and songs and dances and fires, gathering, any who is here who wants a new year, who wants to change the world for good, I call you in. Any rainbow kid, any star nation one, anyone who hears the ancestors sing, yeah, go for it, kid. Step in. Step in and bring your highest hearts. Play your parts. All right. Blessed be. I love you. Please, please, do your part to change the world for good. Let's see. Does a spirit have any song that wants to come through? Because, you know, I'm a little uh cray cray sometimes. Bless you. Bless you to my cray bays in my life in the past. Thank you for the lessons I've learned. I hope to learn from them and I hope to go forth in a good way. I want to be a good woman. I want to be a good mother. I want to be a good human. And I have choice to play, and I ask you to do the same. Blessed be.