Sperm Sisters's Podcast

Ep 14 Getting To Know You

Sperm Sisters Season 1 Episode 19

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0:00 | 38:33

When you've spent decades apart, it's not just the big life events you miss, it's the glorious teenage disaster stories and embarrassing moments that help you piece together who your long lost sibling really is. 

In this week's episode of Sperm Sisters, we're swapping DNA discoveries for teenage traumas as three donor-conceived sisters continue the important work of exposing each other's pasts. 

Helen reveals the full extent of her Kate Nash-inspired college fashion choices (it was a confusing time for everyone involved), Nat revisits a couple of talent show incidents she'd probably rather forget, and Gemma shares why she stripped off in the middle of a lesson. 

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https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0nsz6l4

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SPEAKER_06

Stupid Ba Ba Sisters.

SPEAKER_03

This is a story about sisters. Just not the kind that you're expecting. Three years ago, we were strangers, living separate lives. Now we know we're biological sisters, connected by the same sperm donor. And that's just the beginning. This podcast dives headfirst into the how, the why, and the uncomfortable questions no one seems to want to answer. Uncovering secrets the medical world would rather keep buried. How many donor-conceived people are there really? No one can give a straight answer. Not the clinic, not the system, no one. So, how many siblings could be walking past us every day without a clue? It's messy, it's shocking. At times it's almost impossible to believe. And somehow, it's also really funny. Come with us as we dig deeper, ask the uncomfortable questions and laugh our way through the chaos of discovering who we really are. And just how many of us there might be. Coming up on this week's episode of Sperm Sisters. We get to know our sisters more and guess each other's middle names. You don't know my middle name? No. Would you know mine? Uh you know. Uh and we share our most embarrassing moments that haunt our lives still today. Now I'm in six form.

SPEAKER_00

Again, talent contest.

SPEAKER_03

And then basically, there were some boys and they were like, we're gonna sing, and I wore my point shoes and basically did a dance to Rihanna's umbrella. This is a cringy one. Enjoy. Welcome back for another episode of Spam Sisters. What a week it's been. We are recording on a Sunday night after a mammoth week of announcements. Because if you didn't know, like, we're on the BBC. I don't think we mentioned it. Well, international superstars. Super stars. But more importantly, we have a little sidekick joining us today. Here she is, my little girl. She has a good one. She has an ear. That's all you get. I'm waiting for my okay magazine deal. It's surprising to me and that that we have our little sister joining us here today because she's pulled an absolute Molly Mae. Listen, we all have the same 24 hours in a day. A day. Okay? Is that what she said? Yes. Terrible. It's not normal. It's not normal. There's no pressure to bounce back.

SPEAKER_01

You've been featured on the booby suit. But listen, bounce back.

SPEAKER_03

We must bounce. And bounce, we are doing. For those who are brand new listeners, shall we introduce ourselves?

unknown

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Do it. Yes. Should we go? Eldest to youngest.

SPEAKER_02

Hello, everybody. My name is Natasha, and I'm 36 years old, and I'm the eldest sister of the threesome.

SPEAKER_03

And if you can't tell, Nat's just been at her next door neighbour, Geraldine's, for hours downing Sauvignon Bronx. My name is Gemma. I am the middle one. And I have been at Legoland all day because that's where I chose to spend Father's Day with my little family. I'm covering ketchup and just disgustingness, but hey. Hashtag blessed. Stressed. And but blessed. And I am Helen. I'm the youngest of the three sisters. And I am joined by my daughter, who is Wednesday? Thursday? Friday? Five days old. She's either four or five days old. What is time at the moment for me in the postpartum trenches? No, yeah. Yeah. But she's doing she's doing well. Following on from last week when we were chatting about getting to know each other, I thought, hold on, we actually haven't done a getting to know you episode because we've been asked a lot of questions about how much we know about each other, uh, how much has surprised us. And I thought, well, there's loads of things that I still I still don't know about Nat. And I would love to know. Things that we've missed out on being, what have I done? No, nothing.

SPEAKER_01

I just can't get that song out of my head from the king and I where it's like but getting to know you.

SPEAKER_03

Getting to know all about literally the same person because I've just switched off and that's all I'm singing. Okay, so being donor-conceived and finding out on adulthood obviously means that as sisters, there is a lot to catch up on. It means that we have missed out on some very huge, big things, milestone moments in our lives, but there are also, in my eyes, the more fun stuff that we missed out on. The really embarrassing moments, the cheeky moments, the bits that make you wake up in the middle of the night and go, no, no, that didn't happen. I'm in denial. All these kinds of things. So I don't know. I only found out the other day what Nat's middle name was. I've known Nat for four years. Haven't thought to ask her what a middle name was. So we're gonna start off with that. However, I know Helen. I was gonna say no, I don't know at all. You don't know my middle name? No. Would you know mine? Uh you know. Uh Amanda Say three names and I'll guess which one it is. Okay. Okay. Are you ready? Yeah. Victoria, Sarah, Louise. Victoria. Uh uh. Louise. Uh-uh. Sarah. Yeah. Yes. No, you're going. Uh okay. Rachel Ellie Tilly. Rachel. Yeah. Can I tell you why? Because I thought Ellie would be Eleanor or Tilly would be Matilda. Right, got you. So didn't trick you enough. If you'd have said Rach, that'd have thrown a spanner in the works for me. Because then they're all shortened. Here's another fact. Rachel spelt Raquel. No way! Sorry, can you say why isn't it? Raquel. R-A-C-H-A-E-L.

SPEAKER_00

Raquel. Why is it not Raquel? Because uh my father, he spelled it wrong on the birth certificate.

SPEAKER_03

Oh. Salma, you're done if you can say that's reason. I can't put that in. Okay, Gemmers. Nat, do you know Gemmers? No. Okay, do the three options.

SPEAKER_06

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Four hours later. Okay. Um Samantha, Jessica, Catherine. Catherine. Yeah. Mine is spelt with a C. And like the prince adds. You're quite right. Right. The next thing I'm going to ask you is most memorable time from your childhood that still keeps you awake at night? As in something where you're like, I'm so embarrassed, I'm cringing really hard. I can't shake that off. Nat, please. Well, I have two, both performance related. Okay. The first one was in primary school when we went for our end of primary school trip to um Oh my god, what was it? I want to say Beechwood. Kingswood. Oh my god, we went to Kingswood. In the Isle of Wight? No. Oh. Oh, that must be more than one. No. But we went to Kingswood as the UK version. And um, and we the last day was uh why are you laughing? Because the Isle of Wight's UK No, yeah, but it's like nothing Oh mainland, yeah. Anyway, and on the last night we had to do a talent contest. Oh no, and I did cat talent contest with my friend, and me and him decided to sing a song together.

SPEAKER_02

And the duet that we decided to do was Kylie Minogue and Robbie Williams the one that goes to fame, but you're never looking back. So great. And we pay by numbers until some pants. Cause I don't mind doing it for the cues. That one.

SPEAKER_03

Jump on the So that was that one. So I do think about that a lot. Why? Why was that? Because I think it's a weird it's a fucking weird song to do at that age. How old were you? Ten? No, I think that's fine, because it would have been on like Top of the Pops and Smash Hits and all that sort of stuff. I think it's got panache. I think it's got panache. Well, do you think do you think this has got panache? Fast forward a few years. Now I'm in six form. Whoa. Yeah. Now I don't think I was particularly popular in six form. I had a variety of friends, but I was never really part of a group. Like a sp like I was never part of a specific group, but I got them with with different people.

SPEAKER_00

Again, talent contest.

SPEAKER_03

I have two stories with this talent contest. And at the time I was very passionate about dance, obviously. And then basically there were some boys, and they were like, We're gonna sing, and you're gonna dance. So these boys sang, and I wore my point shoes and basically did a dance to Rihanna's umbrella.

SPEAKER_01

How many boys were singing?

SPEAKER_03

There were four of them.

SPEAKER_01

Has someone filmed it? No, I fucking hope not. Oh, I wish they did. And it was me just with an umbrella and my point shoe.

SPEAKER_03

That's so old for that to happen, I feel.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and then alongside that, which wasn't even part of a fucking competition, it was just me doing my A-level music exam. I could pick any song to sing. Any guesses on what song I chose? Umbrella.

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_01

No, I'll give you a clue. Is from Chicago.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, the pop six squished scicole. No, cellophane, Mr.

SPEAKER_01

Sellfane. Now you get one more guess.

SPEAKER_03

From Chicago. Oh my god, I'm going to rouge my knees.

SPEAKER_02

Oh. One that's uh mama's broth. It's a bad choice.

SPEAKER_01

What a choice.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no. So those three things keep you awake at night. They'll keep me awake at night as well now. Now So I ha well, I have one, but like weirdly, I wasn't that embarrassed. I should have been embarrassed about it, but I just wasn't that embarrassed about it. Okay. I wet myself on top of the A frame in like in like year four. Because basically, you were only allowed to go on the adventure playground once a week, your class, and I was like gagging to get on the adventure playground. If I desperately needed a Wii. I was like, whatever, I'll just go on the adventure playground. And I remember like I climbed all the way to the top of this A-frame thing, and on top of the A-frame, like, couldn't hold it any longer. Oh my god. Like carried on playing for a bit. Yeah, weird now when you look back at it. And then I remember like going inside and being in the loo and this um young teacher like knocking on the door, being like, Is everything okay? And that's when I opened the door and was like, I've wet myself. And she said, That's fine. I'll get a carrier bag, and you can just put your pants in there and not say anything. And I was like, okay, which now, when you look back, you're like, So I spent the rest of the day with no pants on for the whole day in a summer dress and had to keep it like a secret.

SPEAKER_04

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03

What did Mandy say when you got home? Don't can't remember. Probably like a bit weird. Darling, why did you have any underwear on? You pissed me out. So there's that. Um but other things that I was like super embarrassed. Oh no, I do have another one. Again, because that same adventure playground man, it got me. So there was this one girl who was like really good at gymnastics at school, and she said, Oh, look what I can do. And she like held on to the bar and did like a hand stand whilst holding on to the bar. And she was like, Helen, I bet you can't do that. So obviously, me having, and I will admit to this, never being able to do a rolly poly in my life, still can't do it. Was like, yes, I can. So went up to the bar, tried to do a handstand. Obviously, I can't do that, completely failed, and fell straight down, smashed my face against this metal bar and like crumpled my hand over, and all yeah, really bad. And my whole face like swelled up. I got sent home and I'd actually broken my hand at the same time, but I was like still trying to style it out as I was like hobbling back to the first daydream. But those those are it. But like I wouldn't uh no regrets, you know?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, no regrets ever.

SPEAKER_03

No, no, never, Gemma. What about you? Um one that one that comes to mind uh is when I was in year two, Mrs. Walter's class, and I don't know why we stood behind our chairs. I think we're waiting like to go into another lesson or to lunch or something. I was daydreaming, looking out the window, stood behind this chair. And it was winter school uniform at the time, and I had like a buttoned-down pinafore. No one else did, so that's embarrassing enough anyway, but whatever. But it was like almost like Amish, to be honest. So like I let's round the number of buttons up to 20. I was daydreaming, and I thought we had PE that day, and I thought we were about to go into PE. So you know, back in the day, like weirdly, you'd all get changed in the classroom together for PE. You know, like your normal main classroom, we did anyway. I just started unbuttoning my pinafor whilst daydreaming, and I took off my pinafore dress, just daydreaming, and I dropped it to the floor, and I was just there in my school shirt and my pants, and the entire class just turned around like yourself.

SPEAKER_05

What are you doing? What are you taking the glutes off?

SPEAKER_03

And I was like, We didn't have PE. We were just going, so I don't even know. We're just going into another classroom to go and like borrow some books or something. I just got on basically you did a little strip tease for your fellow class.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Your first kiss? Do we want to talk about that? Or is it like? I mean, my first kiss was, you know, sloppy and weird.

SPEAKER_00

But um I'd tell you about the guy that it was with, is like he was like really into music, and I just thought he was the coolest thing.

SPEAKER_03

Like how old were you? Um I was like, I was like 15. I was quite, you know, I was quite late to the kissing party. Um, but I went to his house and um yeah, like cuddled on the sofa and stuff, and like had my first kiss and stuff, and I think he wanted to finger me, but I was like, no. And I was like, no. And then all I really remember from that entire experience is his mum driving me home, and he was in the car with me in the back, and we didn't say a word to each other.

SPEAKER_01

We just sat in the car silently all the way to the door where he dropped me off, or she like dropped me off, and then never I basically never spoke to him again.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no, because you didn't because you didn't let him let him fing you. No, I just think like we both thought this is fucking weird, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01

Fair enough.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no, that was it, but I was like, yeah, I I I thought he was so sexy, and he he was like really into music, and he was yeah, and I was like, Yeah, yes. So hard. But that was my first kiss. Oh, also you that's really nice. Okay, Helen, how old were you? Do you know what? I'm really gonna rack my bre ten. No, I my I really can't remember what age I was, but I know I was like fairly young. I we'd been swimming, me and some friends, and we'd met these two guys swimming, and we'd like swapped numbers and we went to the cinema, but I c for the life of me cannot remember his name. But I remember that he'd like text me and said that he thought I had nice teeth. Oh yeah, and I was like, wow, and then we went to the cinema and then we just kissed for the whole film. I can't wow, yeah. But I think what cinema was this out of interest, showcase cinema winner.

SPEAKER_05

And that's where I had my first kiss as well.

SPEAKER_03

Ew. Ew. And he was oblique as out. His name was and again, oh my god, I remember that name. He was everybody's again, really into music and like so alternative. And oh my god, he's like really into me. And we were and I remember we went to go and see a film after school, which is such bullshit. Shit, like if your parents believe that, like, why do you want to go and see a film? And the only film that was on at the time was like a foreign film, and I asked a couple of my friends to go to the cinema with me because I was meeting up with this guy, and he didn't bring any friends with him. I just felt really bad that I dragged them along to this. Anyway, I just remember like he leant in to kiss me, and I think I was like all teeth.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, yeah. Full piranha teeth.

SPEAKER_03

Like, and again, it didn't go anywhere, not surprisingly, after that. Seeing as we're all starting to really feel ourselves in our teens and boys like want to kiss us and stuff, I'm guessing you are starting to think about your appearance maybe at like college, like sixth form around that age kind of thing. Maybe when you're developing like your own sense of style and identity. Well, what outfits did you two wear that made you feel shit hot when you put them on when you go to college? Well, I remember my first day at Sixform and like I got the bus to Sixform. There were like me and like about four other girls, and we were like the bus girls, because we had to like travel from a different town to get to Sixform. And I remember getting the bus and I got off, and there was a girl in front of me, and she was walking up and she had this pencil suit, like skirt on, and this shirt and a blazer, and she looked so cool. And I remember thinking, not cool, but she just looked she looked about 10 years older than me. And I remember thinking, she must be an upper sixth. Like, wow, like she must be an upper sixth. She's like obviously like really grown up and stuff. Anyway, it turns out she was in my year, and that already gives an impression of the clothes that I was wearing.

SPEAKER_00

I was always a bit of a grebo. Like when I was in school, like Avril Levine was my girl.

SPEAKER_04

I was like, I was a grebo.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I would throw in get me in Tammy girl and get me those baggy trousers big time. You know, I Tammy girl, yeah. Do you know I had a pair of uh baggy trousers? That's what you were about to say to me. I had a pair of baggy trousers that my best friend also had, and we wore them religiously. They were such wide-leg jeans with a chain at the side, and on the pocket it said bad gal. I think I was like 12.

SPEAKER_01

I think we had the same jeans. Except you wore them at 12 and I wore them to six form.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god. So you were like a Gree but six form.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, no, look, in six form we weren't allowed to wear jeans.

SPEAKER_03

We had to wear like you had to like wear trousers or like yeah, or shirts and stuff. Like it was it was a bit of a Posho six form. It was connected to an all-boys school, but it was a mixed six form. And um that explains the boys needing the umbrella of dancer.

SPEAKER_01

And uh yeah, I just look, I wasn't into skirts, I just used to wear trousers all the time. Anything baggy, things haven't changed much to be fair.

SPEAKER_03

I don't often wear like super tight-fitted clothes. I like a I like a baggy number. Saying I get like sensory issues if it's like really clingy. I don't like it. Yeah. At R61, we could wear whatever we wanted, and my favourite outfit was denim shorts with tights. Oh my god, yeah. And like a a nice top. You also wore it with like a stripey baggy shirt. Yeah, I got I went through like a really preppy phase. I had a couple of boyfriends who were from like really nice private schools, and I just and I used to work at Jack Will's. I know please sorry, I'll bleep that up. That was fine. Yeah. Yeah, she did. She was like so preppy, yuck. Um, and then obviously the Sloaney Pony hairstyle that we all had like the massive big fringe. You try and take as much over from the side as you could. At six form, I went to Africa to go and teach for a couple of weeks. And because I went to Africa, I got all of this jewellery, and I remember I made it like my personality, like to wear it. It's in like I was I was I was travelled. It was awful. Anyway, Helen, is now a bad time to ask you. No, you can ask me. What outfit did you film Madafan in? Do you know what? It's so terrible. Uh a waistcoat, um long pearls, and skinny jeans with white satin winkle pickers. Like some sort of skins reject.

SPEAKER_01

For me, it's the pearls. It's the long pearls, because I know exactly what you're referring to.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Where you could make them like a two-string. Or an uh the necklace with the giant owl. Do you know what I mean? You're on your own there. Or what else did I wear? Oh, like um uh rah-rah ruffle tea dress. So like I was trying to be Kate Nash the week. That was like hey lemons and um if I'm annoying you, get my lemons era, wasn't it? What's that song? Did you get my lemons? That's not the song. You said I must eat so many lemons inside my pizza.

SPEAKER_05

Get your lemons!

SPEAKER_03

Get your lemons that leads us into the next biggest decisions of our lives from that time period. What were our first cars? Obviously, Helen and I grew up together, so I know what Helen's first car was, but there's an element of like growing up with a sibling doesn't necessarily mean that you know everything about them because you kind of like protect different parts of your personality growing up from siblings in case they tell your parents or something like that, you know, that kind of stuff. So I'm gonna start off this bit with what your first car was, and I'm gonna lead into other things. So, Helen. Yeah, correct me if I'm wrong, but your first car was Pee-Wee. Pee-wee the Peugeot. Yeah, really sweet, but it was actually a really terrible car because it was the first one that I'd seen when we were looking to buy like a secondhand car. So I just immediately fell in love with the first one that I saw. It was like a turquoise blue. But the it had been like tried to be stolen so many times that the um the key bit that you put the key in manually was like what's the word for it? Not soldered, soldered on. And you had to type in a code to get the engine to start?

SPEAKER_05

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03

It was such a rust bucket, had all like cigarette burns in the back. Why were you allowed to buy that car? Dunno. I actually don't know. So it was really bad. Uh Helen, I'm gonna stick with you for a minute. What first bumps, accidents, near misses come to mind when you think about your time in that car? Are you trying to angle it that I drove into a petrol pump? No, because I know that was your fiat, but I'm really glad that you aired that on the podcast.

SPEAKER_05

Oh but please develop.

SPEAKER_03

I don't want to talk about the petrol pump. Um drive into a petrol pump. Yeah, I was swung into it. Literally just swung straight into it. Just like super dangerous. And she got cross at the petrol pump. Yeah, again.

SPEAKER_06

There's people trying to drive here.

SPEAKER_03

Um are you talking about when I went on a date and I got my car stuck in the No, Helen, I I'm asking, so I honestly don't know. Helen, I feel like you're just digging yourself a massive hulk. Stop saying, is it this time? Is it this time? Your life and my life are very different at six horn because you had your set of friends, I had my set of friends, and it's like we both learned to drive around the same time, and we went to some parties at the same time, but a lot of the time we're off doing our own different things. So moments where like you had like a first bump or an accident or something in your car, I don't know about it, I was busy doing my own thing. Well, I remember it really well. I'd only really just passed my test, and then I was going on a double date with this guy who was like so hot. Again, I just can't remember his name. I want to say he was called Matt, but I'm not too sure. Anyway, I saw him visibly get the ick with me at this moment where it was like dead straight away. Basically, I swung into this again. I think I just my spatial awareness is off, but I like swung into this space and it had a bollard where there was like a bracket against the bollard, and I dragged my car against it, and so I needed to like reverse to get off this metal bit, but I got the car essentially stuck on this metal grate, and anytime I was moving, I was like shunting closer to the metal bit, and I started to like really freak out and panic because anything I was doing was making it so much worse. So I called this guy and was like, Look, I I'm in I'm in the car park. Um, because he I knew that he could drive, and I was like, Can you come and help me with my car? I kind of would have thought that if someone caught you doing that, you'd be like, Yeah, no problem. But he a hundred percent found it so icky and was just like couldn't bear that he was having to help, and my soul was dying watching him like fix it, and then it was just like dead air between us after that. That says so much about him and not your driving ability, Helen. Thank you. Yeah. Do you know what? I also think he went into petrol pump distribution. Yeah. Now, what about you? What was your first car? Well, oh God, why don't you find just learn to drive?

SPEAKER_01

I learned to drive in May 2025. So my first car was actually the Passion Wagon. That recently broke down.

SPEAKER_03

But what I will say is I felt very, very connected to my friend Katie's car called Sally, which is still she's still alive and pumping, and she had a Peugeot 206. She would pick me and Harriet up every morning to sixth form, and she'd drive us up to sixth form and then drive us home. And that is still to this day Katie's car. My first car was a silver voxel coursa, whatever, like just just standard hatchback. I passed when I was 17, so it's six form college, and my first crunch was when I was going for my interview at Jack Wills. You know, when it started, like they started opening shops up. I had an interview for the Guildford store that was opening, and they would hire anybody who who could wear the clothes and keep their slowly pony to one side more than half an hour, kind of thing, before it flopped back. Like it there was no skill in box. But I had to drive myself there like a big girl, and I was naturally running very late for that interview. I remember getting really close to this really big concrete wall, like concrete bollard, and I remember thinking the rear right hand side, and I was like, Oh, I just have to commit, I am so late, and I just floored it into this space, and it went and it ripped the bumper off, scratched aside, and then I was like, Well, what can you do? I'm here now, but then I started like panicking because I then couldn't reverse out of the space because the car was so meshed into this concrete wall, and I started crying and panicking, and I turned up to the interview for Jack Wills, like an emotional wreck, and they still gave me the job. Oh which I just think that says a lot about the company, to be honest, because I wouldn't have employed me at all. I feel like I've got to know each of you really, really well from your very early years to six form. Some insights there that I didn't know about you, Helen, even though I grew up with you, but I feel like I've learned more about you. And that Raquel.

SPEAKER_05

Like I learned your name.

SPEAKER_03

Raquel. Raquel. Thank you so much for sharing, sharing and opening up to the group. This is a safe space. We think that this might be a feature that we'll be doing, just getting to know each other, and then hopefully you guys get to know us a little bit more as well. And what I would really like to do as like another segment that I think we should start bringing into it is questions from the audience, whether you message us on Instagram or email us spermsisterspod at gmail.com. That would be great. And please follow, like, subscribe, and share. Can you just share?

SPEAKER_05

Thanks. Because it really helps us out.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you. I was just gonna say when Gemma was talking there, how much was it in your head? Getting to know you.

SPEAKER_01

Oh I thought that was really good. Should we sing it as a three to um end the episode?

SPEAKER_03

Yes. That'll be a lovely way to finish Father's Day. What a lovely way. Oh, yeah. I'll count us in.

SPEAKER_02

A one, two, a one, two, three.

SPEAKER_04

Getting to know getting to know about you. Thank you for listening. We'll be back next week. Bye.

SPEAKER_05

Getting to know you. Getting to know you. And about you sing about you. Thanks, guys. Loved it.