Ep 19 Most Likely To

Which sister is most likely to return food in a restaurant? Or who is most likely to get back with an ex they definitely shouldn't?

When you don't meet your sisters until adulthood, you've got a lifetime of questions to catch up on. If you've ever wondered what it's like watching three sisters make up for 30 years of missed banter, this is the episode for you.

In this week's episode of Sperm Sisters, we're putting each other to the test with a game of Most Likely To, discovering who's the biggest people pleaser, who's most likely to cause chaos, and which sister we'd trust to keep us alive when civilisation inevitably falls apart.

No DNA tests. No fertility scandals. Just three donor-conceived sisters doing what siblings do best, mercilessly exposing each other's personalities.

Expect outrageous accusations, questionable honesty, and plenty of evidence that DNA isn't the only thing we have in common.

🎙️ Sperm Sisters Podcast – Most Likely To

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Doobida sperm sisters This is a story about sisters.

SPEAKER_02 0:19

Just not the kind that you're expecting. Three years ago, we were strangers, living separate lives.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

Now we know we're biological sisters, connected by the same sperm donor. And that's just the beginning.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

This podcast dives headfirst into the how, the why, and the uncomfortable questions no one seems to want to answer.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Uncovering secrets the medical world would rather keep buried. How many donor-conceived people are there really? No one can give a straight answer.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Not the clinics, not the system, no one. So, how many siblings could be walking past us every day without a clue? It's messy, it's shocking.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

At times it's almost impossible to believe. And somehow, it's also really funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Come with us as we dig deeper, ask the uncomfortable questions, and laugh our way through the chaos of discovering who we really are. And just how many of us there might be.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Coming up on this week's episode of Sperm Sisters. We play most likely two. Which sister do you think is most likely to survive an apocalypse?

SPEAKER_02 1:27

NC, shoot me in the face. As soon as that's happened. Can't be asked. I I won't enter into it. What ag! Thanks. Lay me out to pasture. I am done. And we share a bit of an oopsy daisy. Yeah, she'll be blocked forever now. Really? Also, because I'm associated to the sperm sisters Instagram, sperm sisters are also blocked. No! Yeah. Welcome back, everybody, to this episode of Sperm Sisters! And today we are gonna introduce ourselves like we always do, but you'll never guess how we're gonna do it. We're gonna do it with our own little name cards. Because something's coming up this episode. So stay tuned. So since I've got my my card ready to rock and roll, I'll I'll go first. My name is Natasha. I otherwise go by Nat. I'm 36 and I am the eldest sister. Passing over to the left, Gemma. Me? Yes! I feel like I'm on University Challenge. I think this is the closest I'd ever get to being on that show. But yeah, my name is Gemma, also known as Gem. I'm the middle one, also 36, couple of days younger than that. But listen to the rest of the podcast to find out why. And passing it through to the younger one. Hi! Hello! Is that the right way? Yes! Yay! My name's Helen or Hells? Or Hellsier. Or I can safely say nobody's ever called me Hellsier! Until now. Um I'm 35 and I'm the youngest of the three sperm sisters. The three that are on the podcast. I'm the youngest of the three sperm sisters. Wow on the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

Shh. Don't tease them. It's a secret.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

Filthy. Today today because we've had a crazy couple of weeks with the the media and the British press and other bits and pieces, organising people with interviews, you know, having babies and stuff. This episode is a little game you might have heard. It's called Most Likely To. We as a group decide the person most likely to do something. I thought it might be quite a fun way to find out areas of our lives perhaps we've missed out on, or we don't know yet. Because obviously we've only met four years ago. And what better way to get to know your sisters than throwing them under the bus with a wonderful family-friendly game of most likely two. Are we ready?

SPEAKER_01 4:54

Alright!

SPEAKER_02 4:55

Alright, partner!

SPEAKER_01 4:57

Alright, ladies!

SPEAKER_02 4:59

Alright. The most likely to return food at a restaurant. Ooh, that's tricky. Three, two, one. Show. Yeah. Oh! I am not shy to complain. We've put up Nature who are watching. Yeah. Yeah. We've put up my name, Nat, because well, I was all I was gonna put up both mine and you, Helen, actually. Because I think that we're more likely to complain. Yes, agree. I agree. Mine would be under the premise of some if something looked too pink, then I'd have to return it. Pink or like pubic hair or like or just poor service. Would you complain for poor service, would you? Yeah. Have you done that? Yeah. Have you? Oh my god, yeah. I I asked for like uh m money off the bill. Fucking. Have you been successful with that? Yeah. What happened? I've done it like several times. Like this isn't like a one-off thing. Like if if service is poor, I'm not paying for the experience. So what does the okay what equates to poor service to you? Um rudeness, aloofness, and shmoothness. Um yeah, just you know, like I'm I'm going somewhere to spend my hard-earned money, and if the experience is not what I expect it to be, I'm not paying the full bill. Or like late, late dishes coming out. Like if I was at dinner with the three of you and you both got your meals and mine didn't turn up for 20 minutes, I wouldn't pay for that meal. Now, let me tell you something about your little sister. Right. I'm scared. We went to Mar Bayer for my third year. I know exactly. Okay, and we were coming back and we had like a late-night flight, whatever. Helen fancied an ice cream sundae. So we went to Giraffe at whatever airport it was. Helen got to the bottom of the Sunday glass and went, do you know what? There wasn't much brownie in that. So she called the she called the waitress over. Wait, let me confirm. The the Sunday glass was 85% whipped cream and like barely a scoop of chocolate ice cream in there.

unknown 7:46

Right.

SPEAKER_02 7:46

Continued. So she calls the waitress over. We're the only ones in the restaurant. It's like 11 o'clock on a Sunday night. He said, I'm not very happy with that. Can I have it off the bill, please? I said, excuse me. Most of that was just whipped cream. It wasn't really what's advertised as the Sunday. Please can I have it off the bill? Yeah. And what did the waitress say, Helen? She said, Well, you ate all of it. And I said, Yes. And she was like, if you weren't happy with it, you shouldn't have carried on eating it. I was like, okay. So I paid for it. And Helen got a free one. Helen got another Sunday to make up for it. Oh, okay. And out of out of principle, Helen ate the entire Sunday. And Helen went like a shade of grey. I have never seen. Like she was gonna chunder. Like she'd just got off, she just got off the end of a really bad hangover that day. She'd also gone horse riding in the heat. And then she had double mega creamy Sundays on a night flight. It was so funny. We were like, she's gonna finish it. She's gonna polish it off. She was like, I'll be damned. And I normally say no regrets, but in that instance, some regrets.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

Instant regret.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

Most likely to Google their own symptoms and plan their funeral. Are we ready? Three, two, one, show. Yes, Nat! Definitely Nat. What would you like for your funeral, Nat? What would it look like? Oh well, funnily enough, I was thinking about this the other day. No, I'm sorry why because yeah, only because I was watching um I was watching the new the new series of um Jeremy Coxon's farm thing. Yes on Amazon and at the end of the series they played Always Look on the Bright Side of Life. And I was thinking that I think perfectly encapsulates me. I was like, that would be a really lovely song to have at my funeral, I think. I think like if I was gonna be sent off, I would I would like that song at my funeral. Just so we know, as your sisters, would you like to be buried or cremated? Neither. I want to uh donate my body to science. Glad we asked. I'm sure we can arrange that. Do you know there was a king once who Oh sorry, the reason I've just thought about this is because obviously if you donate your body to medical science, like well, don't quote me on it, but I think some people's bodies can like actually explode when they're doing dissections on people. And there was a king, and he went on basically like a funeral tour of the UK way, way, way, way, way, way, way back, and he did explode. Just yeah. So just as long as you're aware of that you could spontaneously combust and try to not do that whilst I'm alive. My god, that made me laugh so much. I just dribbled on myself. Most likely to survive an apocalypse. Three, two, one, show. Yes, Gemma. Gemini Gemma. That's because you have you've already packed a bag for it, haven't you? Or a go bag, or Leon will have a go bag. I've got a go cupboard. I have this thing, like, when I get really anxious about anything, I start panicking about what I would do in a war situation. Like, oh my god, I'll start hearing planes coming over there. They're probably like normal planes, but I think that sounded different. That's a bit different. That's it. We've got 24 hours now, and then I'll start thinking, oh my god, have the kids got vitamins? What am I gonna do about drinking water? I've bought little straws that filter out dirty water. And the cup, I mean, the problem is with this cupboard, I do start eating out of it, so I have to keep chopping it up. When I've calmed down and my meds have settled, then I'll then I have to go back to the shops and chop it up again. But yeah, I've I bought like I think it was a couple of months ago, I purged the shops for whatever. I think it was because the fuel prices went up or something, and I was like, well, I'm not gonna be that dick and go and top up with fuel, but I'll go and get suet puddings because what is a suet pudding? I don't really know what's in it, but they last forever in the cupboards. Like I'll I I'm fine if something happens now, my family are fed for six, seven months. Because just as long as you've got enough provisions to last you for three months whilst you start planting your own fruit and vegetables and getting them to grow, you'll be fine. Auntie, shoot me in the face as soon as that's happening. Can't be asked. Just I I won't enter into it. What ag? Don't you think? Just lay me out to pasture. I am done. I would never enter into it. What, trying to survive an apocalypse? No. Where's the cupboard, Gemma? Yeah, where is your cupboard? In the kitchen. The one behind the We've got a couple of different cupboards for different types of survival mode. What? We've got like the wind-up battery packs, the foil blankets. But where are you staying in the house with all of that? The government said that we should. You know when people plan like, oh, get in the car and drive to Cornwall or something like that. That actually that's the worst thing that you can do. You should just stay put where you are, apparently. But I've also looked into how much it would cost to build a bunker. Maybe just stop here, Gemma. I think, yeah. Sorry, I realised how insane it was when I said it out loud. You couldn't build a bunker in your garden. Because aren't you on like a Roman burial ground or something weird? No, well, yeah, but not our bit. We're like, it's either side of our house. We're fine to do it. I was gonna build That's convenient for planning permission, isn't it? Join me and my bunker, why don't you? Provision with for all. Would you let us join? Yeah. Because I think we'd make some amazing podcast content. So everyone else is dead. Including you, Helen. Yeah. Yeah. That would be one hell of an episode shooting Helen in the face, wouldn't it? Oh yeah, I just wouldn't. Now, would you want to try and attempt to survive an apocalypse on CBA? Oh, she immediately made me cough. It immediately made me cough. Um Yeah, uh I uh I probably probably not Are you joking? I don't know if I've got it in me. I I mean what for? Like, you know what I mean? Like if we are surrounded and we had to stay in the bunker for the rest of our lives. No thanks. Yeah, right. Most likely to pretend they didn't see someone in Tesco. Three, two, one, show. I do do that. Helen.

SPEAKER_03 16:44

I do do that.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

I've actually Yeah, I have done that too. It was in a Tesco as well, that I have done it, and it was it was bad. I tried to do it because I was just quickly picking up some food, and it was like an ex-pupil and her mum were in there, and I just thought, you know what? I just really want to go, I just want to go home. And I knew I'd be there for ages, so I like pretended I didn't see, carried on, and then went to the self-service checkout, and my self-service checkout like died, and it was basically a Tesco Express. Um, so there were only two self-service machines, and then they were on the one next to me, and I still continued to pretend I didn't see them, and then uh I I heard the daughter sort of try and be like as in that I was there, and so then I was like, oh hi, and had to do the fake, and the mum knew that I'd been like pretending I didn't see them. It was very uncomfortable. So you're right, and it was a Tesco. I put nap because haven't you tried to ignore people on the train to work before? Which I'm sure you probably have put in. What? What? Never done that. Never, never. But yeah, I mean, look, me and everybody else on the fucking planet. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, and on a commute as well. Nice. Oh, yes. Don't talk to me. I've never had that because I work on my own. But also, that's you're so not built to ignore. You're you're built to engage at all times. Oh my god, does this mean that people have tried to ignore me? No. No, no, no, no, no, no. I've never been convincing.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 18:54

Most likely to get banned from a local Facebook group. One, two, three. Definitely Gemma. Yeah, go on, Nat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so this week, listeners, watchers, uh Gemma got blocked by Binky Felstead on Instagram. Are you still blocked? Yeah. Yeah, she'll be blocked forever now. Really? Also, because of the because I'm associated to the sperm sisters Instagram, sperm sisters are also blocked. No. Yeah. Sorry guys. Such bad PR. I didn't even do anything. Go you should explain what happened.

SPEAKER_03 19:49

Yeah, go on.

SPEAKER_02 19:50

Fine. Binky Fel said she hosted an an American party. It's really lame. It was all for press. It was really embarrassing. And sorting the wound, Gemma, sort in the wound.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

It was really fucking embarrassing. Yeah, it was a fucking shit party.

SPEAKER_02 20:09

She had some pro-Trump kind of hats in the background. And I was doom scrolling, having a coffee, whatever. And I noticed. You know, when you go into someone's post and they're like, oh, there's there's X amount of comments, and then there's one, and you're like, that's weird. Like, what's what is it? Refreshed it, and it was because she was deleting all these comments and stuff. So all I said was, Whoa, the rate you are deleting comments is amazing. And refreshed, uh, user not found. Couldn't even follow, doesn't even show a profile picture, can't type her name in. And I was like, Do you know what? That's fine by me. Because if you're not gonna pay for your cakes, because she doesn't, she didn't pay her wedding cake maker for nearly two years. I was like, Yeah, I'm fine being blocked by way too strong. I just went on our sperm sister's Instagram to see if we can if we can find her, and we have absolutely been blocked. Troll. Troll in the dungeon do not know that quite. No. Are you joking me? Did neither of you know what that is? No. No, I just thought you'd fucking lost your mind. No, it's like Harry Potter, the first film, whether he runs into the great film and he goes, troll in the dungeon. Yeah, but we haven't watched that, Helen. Oh, what do you think? We don't like Harry Potter. You're the only sister that likes Harry Potter. Hang on. Jack, do you know where? He knew it. Next one. Yep. Actually, let's ask our listeners to please send in voice notes to our new WhatsApp number of your best impressions of Troll in the Dungeon. Please do it if you would like to do that. Our WhatsApp number is O seven five zero seven eight thour nine six. Hang on. Go on. So that number is zero seven five zero seven eight thour nine six. Jack said sometimes I mix up my O's and my zeros. I think I do that though. I do that. I do that. Well we are all related. That do be true. Okay, next one. Who's most likely to accidentally text the wrong person? One, two, three.

SPEAKER_01 23:19

Now I want to know why you both think that.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

I I do I do have one, but please don't take it the wrong way. As my reasoning. When we were gonna meet up that time at the Natural History Museum, and you had Oh yes. And it was like gonna be the second time. Yes, I think so. Was it only the second time we were gonna meet up? We were gonna meet in person. Yeah, but you'd done, and it was for us to see um Dippy. Yeah. Because you were having James's niece come to visit. And you even made these like really cute activity packs, which included Dippy. We arrived at the Natural History Museum, and then that was like, guys, where are you? We were like, Well we're at the Natural History Museum, and you were like, What? And basically, you'd gone to the British Science Museum? No, I'd just gone to the British Museum. Rather than the Natural History Museum. I don't think it's that close, is it? No, it wasn't. It's not they're not close at all because I remember like literally having a panic attack and being absolutely mortified and like looking on City Mapper, and I was like, it could it will take us an hour and ten minutes to get there. I was just being like, you just need to tell them that you're sorry and that that's not going to happen. I was so mortified. I I'm actually really that goes that sh says a lot about you both that you just took it on the chin. Well, it was then the pictures where you had your like dippy activity. I'm like, oh no. Oh I've got an idea.

unknown 25:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:19

Go for it. To close this episode, shall we try and do our harmonies for the opening? Sperm sisters. Yeah. Have we still got it? So I st I did the first one, no? I was the level one. Mm-hmm. Then it was Doobida Ba ba. Uh when are you gonna come in? I didn't know I was doing it then! No, for I thought you were just saying the tone. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. One, two. Doobida ba ba ba ba Gemma, I think you're is Gemma is it me next? It's you next. Oh sorry. And then Gemma was the highest. Right, I'm ready. One. Hang on. I'm ready. Oh, wait. I'm not now. Hang on. One, two. Do we da ba ba ba ba doobida ba ba ba ba ba it's because I laughed. Say something sad. Dead puppies. Death Death becomes her. Uh, okay. Doobida ba ba ba. Hang on. Oh so you can't just go when you wanna go, Helen. Yeah. One, two, three, go. Doobit I do it wrong. You need to come in sooner. Yeah. Oh my god, my cheeks. Go one more one more time. Come on. One and two. One, two, three. Do b da paist. Okay.