Episode 01 | Kevin Pulley: Effort Is the Only Thing You Control

Kevin Pulley is a husband, father of five and sub-3 marathoner who has figured out how to make the hard things work for his life instead of against it.

He goes to sleep when his four-year-old twins go to sleep. Up before his whole house every morning. Miles done before anyone needs him. No excuses. No complaints. Just the work.

We talk about running, fatherhood and why effort is the one thing every single one of us can control — and what happens when you finally decide to own it.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What running has taught me is that like the biggest room in the world is the room for improvement. There are ways to get better if you work at it. And that to me has gone into fatherhood as well. It's like, okay, you know, what has worked, what hasn't worked. Just kind of like that introspective mindset to try to find ways where we can just increase our output and get it even better. And I think that, like, you know, once you find a way, you can see it in all things. The mindset of the things that I've learned from running, I've taken it to my marriage, I've taken it into fatherhood, I've taken it into the workplace. And it's just that that feedback loop. And I and I think one of the great things about running is that you get out what you put in. And there's no shortcuts. And I'll say, like, you know, having love within one's household, you know what I mean? A fit body, a sound mind. Like, you cannot buy these things. You can't do these things. You have to earn. Oh, for real, you uh you run today? Yeah, I did it run. I did nine and a half this morning. I did nine. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Here we go. It takes one to know one. How like how'd you get into running in the first place? Have you always been a runner? Like, what's been your your sports arc?

SPEAKER_00 1:16

All right, so so running used to be punishment. Running with running was exactly so. What happened with me is like I've always I played like football, baseball, basketball, you know, always like a ball sport my entire life.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

So like running was always punishment. Like, oh, you miss a tackle or you know, you do you miss an assignment, you gotta go run. So it was always punishment.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

And uh I played football in college, and uh, when I graduated, I was just working and I just started getting heavier, heavier, heavier, dude. And uh I started taking a liking to combat sports. So I started to box and kickbox. Yeah, so that gave me like, okay, like, okay, it gave me like that competitive itch, uh, you know, scratch, you know, scratch that competitive itch. So um I used to do a lot of running for road work when I would compete and and fights. And uh and as I got older, um, the gym that I was going to actually closed. And in order to stay in shape, I just started running every day. And I was like, man, I'll I love this. Like, yeah. So I somehow like started to grow, it's it's kind of like eating vegetables. Like when you're a kid, you hate eating vegetables, but somehow when you're older, like, hey, it's not that bad, actually. What uh when you played football, what position were you? Uh so I played running back at defensive back, dude.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

You it's that that's a serious position. What uh do you have any just kind of horror stories from playing running back?

SPEAKER_00 2:37

Oh gosh. All right, so from playing running back, I mean, it was just a lot of like wear and tear on the body. Just like I used to love, I mean, obviously, you got the ball in your hands a lot, you scoring touchdowns and stuff like that. But uh, I mean, the hits, the hits were brutal, like just repeatedly getting hit every single time. Um, but yeah, it was football was absolutely fun. Um, I played running back in high school when I got to college. I played defensive back, and then I also switched to running back in college as well. But um, but yeah, running, I mean, running back was was was brutal because you got everybody trying to take you down, you know what I mean? I got like I got I used to I used to get scars on my elbows from people's helmets trying to tackle me to the point where I would get cuts every single game, and I just have huge keyloids on my elbows to this day from playing football.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

That's insane. That's insane. I played O-line for a little bit when I was younger. Okay. Uh, then I switched to fullback, and it seemed like a great idea when I was like 14 in middle school. And then when I got to high school, uh, and everyone had hit puberty and I was going up against guys for like 17, 18. I uh I think I got hit one time at practice. Uh, and I like I actually knew I was like flying in the air for a while before I hit the ground. Yeah. And I was just hoping. What? Um like when you got into running, like, did you have sort of like an aha moment where this clicked and you're just like, wait, I love this?

SPEAKER_00 4:00

Yeah, so this is what happened. So, like I said, there was a gym that I was going to that closed down. In order to keep myself in shape, I just started going to the YMCA and I would get on the treadmill every single day, and I would run like four miles, something like that. And I was getting uh so I would do this every day for months. And I was like, you know what? I feel like I could run forever. Yeah. So I I've never done, I ran track in high school, but this was all like spread-based stuff just to try to get ready for football. I've never run anything longer than like a mile and a half in my entire life. I was so this is this is my problem, and I am optimistically delusional. So the first race I've ever done was a full marathon. Because I because I thought I'm like, I can do this all day long. I can run all day long. So I signed up in 2017. I signed up for the Baltimore full marathon. There you go. Yeah. So why not? Just dive right in. So how is it? You did you prep for it or did you just show up to start? I I trained for it. I did some research online, and you know, I think I did like uh Hal Hickton or something like that. I yeah, I just progress my runs every weekend, and it's just it's just like anything. It's like yeah, progressive overloading, just stacking, like, you know, if I ran four miles, okay, I'll go up to six, go up to seven, eight, you know, just kept climbing all the way up to 20. And then uh I got to the marathon and I was rolling, man. I I ran 330, 331. Um, my first marathon. That's a great first marathon. Yeah, yeah. And I tell you, I didn't know what I was doing. But uh, and uh it was rough. The last 10k was rough for sure because I didn't know what the other side of 20 miles felt like. Yeah. And I didn't, I certainly didn't have nutrition or anything like that dialed in. But I made it. I made it, and it was really a good experience.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

That's all it was. I I totally get it. I ran my first marathon back in November in New York City. Okay, uh, and I had no idea how to pace. Like, I I had a plan and I had this straight plan. I thought I'm gonna you know, I'm gonna run at this pace the whole time. Gun goes off, I go bolting down the Verizon Bridges just as fast as I can. I'm coming up through Brooklyn, I'm like, everyone's cheering. I'm like, this is phenomenal. This is this is great. I'm not gonna run out of energy. I have a photo crossing the bridge. There's like a bridge that connects uh Brooklyn and Queens at mile 13. And I have a photo going over the bridge, and my watch flash is like, Congrats, you just set a half marathon PR. This could be a problem now. But I was I was good until about mile 21. And then after about mile 21, you know what, like in a video game, like everything like goes in slow motion if like you get shot. Yep. I it's kind of how the last five miles were, but we got it done. I went 315, it was it was good, it worked out. That's a good sound.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

What I so do you go same experience, dude. Same experience. I rolled for the first 20, and that last thing, I probably could have crawled to the finish line faster than I got there.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

Seriously.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Do you so do you have a race coming up now? Are you built building towards anything? Yeah, so I'm doing uh uh there's a Virginia Beach Shamrock 4 marathon that I'm doing March 22nd. Oh, so you're coming, you're coming up. I'm coming up, yeah. So I'm about how's how's the block doll? The block's been great, man. I I'm feeling good. Um, I'm trying to hit this thing. If I can if if I can hit 240, 245 is a stretch, 250, I feel good. That's fantastic, man. That's that's my that's my goal. That's my goal.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

What has your trading program sort of been, you know, this block as compared to you know your first marathon where you were just winging it?

SPEAKER_00 7:30

Oh, man, it's it's totally different. Because I'm uh I didn't when I when I first ran my first marathon, I didn't do any specialty workouts, I didn't do any intervals, I didn't do any tippos, I just kind of ran. I just ran distance because like I said, I didn't know what I was doing at all. Um but for this one, man, I do I pretty much run every day. Like I run every day. I may take a day off here and there, and in my in my training, I had some D-Load weeks, but other than that, I'm I'm out there every day. So I pretty much do three workouts. I'll do intervals, let's call it, I do intervals on Tuesday. Yeah, do tempo on Thursday, and then I'll do long on the weekend, and I'll just run easy runs in between all of those. And uh that that's how that's how I do it.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

It's it's the beautiful thing where I feel like you know, a marathon preppers one of these like amazing sort of scientific problems, where how do you how do you go with you know four or five months of work and somehow show up on race day perfectly calibrated to perform?

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 8:29

Uh, and somehow it's wow to think what you do on a random Wednesday is somehow gonna you know impact you on race day, but it does.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

It does, absolutely. And sometimes, and sometimes when I'm trying to hit some of these tippos, I'm like, man, I gotta hold this this pace for 26. Like, how am I gonna do this? Especially when it's cold and like, you know, you're gonna lose some perceived level of fitness when the when the when the weather is just so cold. Like it's just like you're not gonna have everything you would. And the same thing happens in the summertime too, when it's blistering hot, you're not gonna have all your faculties. Um, but you know, obviously in the fall it gets a little cooler, and then in the spring, hopefully is you know a little bit warmer than that than I've been training it through. So um, yeah, but like you say, like there's something about race day after you come off uh tapering, then you're just ready to go. It's just it's magical.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

It's it's awesome. Do you get when you run in the winter, do you get this sucks, like that feeling where it's like this sucks in the best way possible?

SPEAKER_00 9:22

I do, absolutely, absolutely. So I I have a bunch of runner friends, and like, you know, people, especially if they don't have anything coming up, um, people can't kind of get the, they kind of their miles are lower, right, this time of year. And in my head, it's like, you know what? Like, the harder it is, the less people that can follow what I'm doing. So I kind of get a little, a little, it kind of gears me up a little bit, kind of ramps me up a little bit to think about like, you know what, this is building resilience, this is building toughness. Getting out here when no one's out here, you know, pushing through some of this snow and ice and still getting my mouse in. Like, it gives me a sense of sense of pride for sure.

SPEAKER_02 9:59

As long as you can, yeah, as long as you can feel your hands at some point, it's it's always good. My my worst is all comebacks from running, and my hands are numb, and I can't open the door to my apartment. That's what it's uh I feel like that's winter running. All right, well, I you know, I gotta ask you. So the first the first video of yours I saw was your infinity medium video.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

Uh, and yeah, it obviously resonated with me, and you know, went super vile. And I know it resonated with lots of people, and I wanted to ask, you know, so what went into that video? Where'd that come from?

SPEAKER_00 10:28

I have no idea. I just I I went outside one day and I was like, I need to make a video. I'll take a video. And this was just something that was on my mind because I think it was because the year before I did 75 Hard and I was just thinking about last year, and I just started talking. I had no idea it would do what it did. I I was just yapping, you know what I mean? Like I yeah. So, you know, it is like if you look at those comments, it's all over the place. A lot of people are it resonates with a lot of people. There's a lot of people upset with me, you know. But I I can't do nothing about that. I just kind of, you know, speak my truth and you know, just kind of put it out for the world to see.

SPEAKER_02 11:04

So no, look, it was fantastic. It clearly clearly hit for me. Um, and look, I think something that, you know, we live in a world you know full of social media where everyone's telling you how to do things.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

Right.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Uh and I think the hardest thing is how do you build something sustainable that works for you? Exactly. Uh, and the thing at least I I loved in your videos, you know, you talk about you know not letting uh life get in the way of training or not letting training get in the way of life. Uh and I think that's so hard. And I wanted to ask how, you know, coming off Infinity Medium, like how do you balance you know, training and having, yeah, going sub three with everything else in your life?

SPEAKER_00 11:41

Man, so what I try to do is so I so I'm married and I have I have five kids, so there's a lot going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My wife and I we have five kids, so it's it's always a lot going on, you know. Um, so what I tr what I try to do is I wake up in the mornings early and I and I get it, I get the work done. Which means I go to bed early. But but the good thing is, like I have, you know, um I have I got a big spread. So my oldest kid is 15 and I have twins that are four years old. Congratulations. Yeah, thank you so much. So what I end up doing is I just go to sleep when the little kids go to sleep, you know. Like the my older kids, they don't, you know, they're not gonna hang out with me, you know, at nighttime. They're they're doing schoolwork or talking to the kids or playing video games. So, you know, they don't need me in that particular aspect. But when the kids who are a bit more dependent, when they go to sleep, I go to sleep. And yeah, you know, I'm an I'm an adult, right? And their kids, so they sleep longer than I do. So I'm able to I'm able to get up and I try to, you know, do my workouts in a manner that's not intrusive to the things that are going on in the household. Um, so I just do it before work, before I need to help out, help get kids out the door. And that way it's it's it's out of the way and there's nothing else that could pop up to kind of mess it up, mess, screw me up if I push it to the evening.

SPEAKER_02 12:59

So no, that's that's fantastic. And do you think, you know, obviously I'm I'm 27, so I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm a ways from having kids. Uh and you know, based on my Valentine's Day, incredibly single. Um so no, but you know, as someone, you know, who you know hopes to have a family one day, that's incredibly that's incredibly powerful to hear. And like, do you think it's it sort of sets a good example? Um, you know, sort of sets an example to your family that you you're always uphandling your stuff before they're up.

SPEAKER_00 13:29

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Because at the end of the day, you know, my kids are involved in athletics, and you know, I can tell them anything and everything, all the things that I know, but they really need I I personally believe that they really need to see it. They really need to see someone still getting after it to understand, you know, what goes into trying to be the best at whatever you're doing. And at the end of the day, it's like, you know, we all have our talents, we all have our drawbacks, but effort, we can all control our effort, right? For sure. As long as I'm as long as they can see me going out there, giving it my best, giving it my all within the constraints of everything going on. I think it's a fantastic example. And I know they feel that way because they tell me. And that's awesome. And they tell their friends too. So it's like, you know, sometimes, you know, I'm dad, so maybe I'm not the coolest person in the world, but I know how they speak about me because their friends will tell me. You know what I mean? So it's like, yeah, and I and I'm not always privy to that. So I just know that I know that it's working. And I think that, you know, when their athletic careers are done, they will still need something to fall back on for health and wellness for the longevity of themselves as well. And I think that setting an example for them.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

I do that's that that that's awesome. Wow, would you let your kids play football?

SPEAKER_00 14:42

If they want to. If they want to, if they want to. Um, so my my so what I try to do is I try to introduce my kids to as many things as possible, and then whatever sticks, sticks. You know what I mean? So, like I play football. You don't have to play football. You can play whatever you want. Whatever it's your life. I I'm already I've already lived my life. I'm not trying to push my kids and make them me. I think that's when you try to push them into something particular, you just end up with a bunch of resentment. You know what I mean? So I think that inherently each and every one of us is going to do the best with the thing that we like the most. 100%. So I try to help them find that thing. And if it's football, that's great. I'm here to support you. If it's soccer, if it's archery, it can be anything. As long as you're passionate about what you're doing and you give it your all, I think it's it's a worthwhile endeavor.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Uh, that's awesome. And look, I my I will always say good things about my parents. My parents did something similar, similar to with me, but they would never let me quit anything unless like I I had to like submit like a formal proposal. Like, mom, I would not like to play soccer anymore. That's gonna say, um, do you feel like you know, sort of running has taught you anything about fatherhood or fatherhood's taught you anything about being a runner?

SPEAKER_00 15:58

Absolutely. I I think that uh what running what running has taught me is that like okay, the biggest room in the world is the room for improvement. Yeah, there are ways, there are ways to get better if you work at it. And that to me has gone into fatherhood as well. It's like, okay, you know, what has worked, what hasn't worked, just kind of like that introspective mindset to try to find ways where we can just increase our output and get it even better. And I think that like, you know, once you find a way, you can see it in all things. So it's so the mindset of the things that I've learned from running, I've taken it into my marriage, I've taken it into fatherhood, I've taken it into the workplace. And it's just that that feedback loop. And I and I think one of the great things about running is that you you get out what you put in, you know what I mean? And there's no shortcuts. And I'll say, like, you know, um, having love within one's household, you know what I mean? A fit body, a sound mind, like you cannot buy these things.

SPEAKER_02 16:56

You can't see things, you have to earn them. Do you feel like running sort of helps you focus on other things? Uh like do you ever find that like you know, running helps your mind go?

SPEAKER_00 17:06

Absolutely, because I I feel like I personally feel like I do my best thinking when I'm running. Yeah. Sometimes for me, uh when I'm running, especially if I'm doing an easy run, I'll turn the music off, right? I'll turn the music off or um and I'll just like be in my thoughts because you know, um at a at an output level where I'm not really working that hard, my legs just kind of take over.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

My mind's just free to just go wherever it wants to go because it's the best feeling. It's the best feeling in the world because I can sit there, I can think about things, I can reflect on stuff I've been through, I can reflect on where I want to go. And there's something empowering about running that makes me feel like I could just conquer the entire world.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Uh no, I I I I get it. It's a thousand percent. People ask me, like, I have very few vices. Um, but you know, that sort of high in your own head that you get when you're running. I mean, that's a drug I gotta honestly tell you, I'm very addicted to. Absolutely. Like, I think uh, yeah, I think I could be invincible. I'm like, I'm pretty much ready to fight Thanos or something.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

Exactly, exactly. Yeah, so it's like it makes me really like, okay, like man, I there's other things I'm gonna go after now. Like, I it's just really like I, you know, it's just whatever it's doing to my mind, I I just love the feeling of it. And like I said, I could just think about things, work through things, reflect on things I've been through, problem solve, be creative. I have so many thoughts, especially during those easy runs where I'm not just panting and you know, trying to push through something difficult. My mind is just it's it's definitely moving meditation for me.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

Oh a thousand percent. Well, look, I'll when I do a tempo workout, I try not to admit how many times I look at my watch. But it it's it's it's more than I would like to say. For sure. It's um do you have do you have a route you always run, or is it mostly, or do you switch it up most days?

SPEAKER_00 18:55

I switch it up most days. Um it depends on the distance. So it's like I, you know, I've been living, my wife and I and the family, we've been living in the same house for like 10 years now. That's awesome. So I've got a route for every distance I need. And then sometimes like I got alternate routes that I kind of you know pop in there to try to make things fresh. Yeah. So yeah, I got my neighborhood mapped out, and I'm just like, you know, sometimes I'm just mathing it, like, okay, I need this one, let me go here. So I'm kind of just like putting all these pieces together. So uh it's a good exercise.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

So how is that? How's your playlist looking coming into the marathon?

SPEAKER_00 19:28

Oh man, my playlist is is is is on fire. I got I got some classics in there. Uh J. Cole just came out, so I got a couple of his new songs up in there. So I probably need to trim some of the fat because it's like it's my my run playlist is really long at this point. But I'll usually what I do is uh I'll take my playlist, I'll just duplicate it, and I'll just go through it and kind of like trim something fat. And next thing you know, like I just got all I just got you know two hours and 50 minutes of bangers, and then like you know what? This this is perfect.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

Do you have one song or a couple songs that are just absolutely essential? Like they they get you through any workout?

SPEAKER_00 20:05

Yeah, so I'm a I like I'm a big um future fan.

SPEAKER_02 20:10

Future's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 20:11

Yeah, future's awesome. So I like uh there's March Madness has to always be on my playlist. Um long as I hear March Madness, I'm really happy on a run.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

That's awesome. It's funny, man. I I hate to admit this. If I ever have to do tempo, I play I Wanna Go by Britney Spears. So something about that. It just it just makes me go faster and faster and faster every time. Whatever works, dude. Whatever works. It's uh it's and especially when you sort of pair that song with just the look of sheer horror on my face as I'm doing uh tempo. Yeah, it's uh it's a great combo. What I guess like sort of one more, you know, deeper question. I'd love to uh sort of wrap up with a couple just fun rapid-fire questions. For you, like moving to this sort of chapter of both running and fatherhood, like what does success feel like and what does success look like?

SPEAKER_00 21:01

Man, so in terms of running, success looks like having fun.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

Having fun, just enjoying it, just being out there, um, just just doing the best that I can do. That I don't care about, I don't obviously we have goals and stuff like that, but I would never allow some digit on the clock to take away all the work that went into getting to the starting line.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

For sure.

SPEAKER_00 21:28

So, like, so just enjoying the process, detaching myself from the outcome, um, watching my kids get older, watching them, you know, uh cheering them on in their sports. For sure. Because I I'm a I'm a big football fan. I watch the NFL. I tell you, there's nothing like watching your kids play sports. I'm like the biggest fan. And uh and they they and then they they in turn cheer me on when I'm running. So it's like that that's that's that's awesome, man. Yeah. I mean, like having seeing those faces. You talk about when you're in the pain cave, you're 20 mile 21, and it starts to get sticky, you know, thinking about those faces at the finish line, man, really, really powers me through. So I would say, you know, some cocktail of just being happy, being myself, and watching my kids mature and become their own individuals is is is happiness to me and it's the you know the best part of life right now.

SPEAKER_02 22:25

That's that's awesome. And look, we um I I have a younger sister, she's my best friend. Uh, but nothing got me through the race knowing she was at mile 23 with a sign. Uh uh. I I I almost ran right by her too because I was so spacing. But um she she she's awesome. And I I grew up going to her dance shows, and it just feel you know, feeling that sort of connection is there. Absolutely. Uh they wanted me to be the prince of the nutcracker. I'm happy I got out of that one. But that's awesome. Sha if you could if you could go run any race in the world right now, what would you want to run? Boston. Boston, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

Boston.

SPEAKER_02 23:00

100%.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

So Boston's sick. Yeah, I've I've BQ'd a couple times already, but not enough buffer. So I'm ready to ready to conquer that hill. I'm ready to get enough buffer March 22nd.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

You're getting there, man. I'm getting there. What uh what's the best, what's the best running shoe you've ever worn?

SPEAKER_00 23:19

I I'm a Nike guy, so I'm an Alpha Fly. Alpha Flies for me. Alpha Flies, I I I really feel really good in the nose, real, real bouncy in those.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

So it is. It is like flies. What is do you have like a favorite post-run meal?

SPEAKER_00 23:35

Favorite post-run meal. Anything heavy in carbs. Yeah. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, um, I'm gonna go breakfast. I mean, give me give me some uh French toast. French toast, sir. Yeah. I'm I'm I'm I'm gonna go I'm gonna go a nice breakfast after after.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

That's uh look, I think you know, the speaker, I guess maybe the other sort of drug you could say that comes into running is that sort of long run and then big meal afterwards. And then a nap, there's something, I don't know, there's something about it. It just um 100%.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

It just gets you there. I'll tell you this. So I used to, I used like I told you, I used to do combat sports, right? Yeah. Also in high school, I used to wrestle. So you did everything, man. I know, I know, it's crazy. But in those sports, you gotta make a certain weight, which means that you have to be very restrictive about what you put into your body. For sure. So running is the complete opposite because I get the carb load. Yeah, I get to I get to eat as much good stuff as I can to get my glycogen up before these runs and after these runs, it's a beautiful thing, man. My biggest piece of advice is I would say look into a local run club in your area because there is power in the people. And I think that like having uh having like-minded individuals around you, there's a ton of encouragement at run clubs. Sometimes going out on your own can be daunting, and you know, that could like potentially stop somebody who is brand new. But if you get around people that are doing this, you know, at some rank at some uh recurring frequency, yeah. I think that is enough to get it to stick, and you'll find the sense of pride, you'll find that sense of community, you'll find that sense of belonging, and you'll meet some really dope people along the way. I think that that would be my advice to someone who is who's just starting out. You said it better than I could have.

SPEAKER_02 25:21

Dude, this is this has been awesome. I'm I'm really happy we got a second to talk. Uh, and I'll I'm me watching you for that race, man.

SPEAKER_00 25:29

I appreciate this, man. I appreciate this. And uh, I'll see you soon.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

Great to meet you, man. Take care. See you soon. Thank you, man.