Half Enlightened - Episode 2

TOPICS:

- Men not asking questions

- Good conversation techniques

- The Fabulous Nicole Kidman

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

We are back, baby, and we're on the same time zone, so that's even better.

SPEAKER_01 0:04

I love it. Let's do it. Let's go. What's our agenda, baby? Mm-hmm. First thing is labeled men not asking questions. Yes, I know. We're on the dating scene. Yeah. And you were telling me that like none of these guys you go out with ask you questions.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

So it's so funny. Like recently I've been noticing, and it's like, yes, I am single, and yes, I am dating, but I also just like meet guys. I think as a single person, you like operate differently, right? Like you're open in a way. I think people feel that. Even that energy. Yes, exactly. Exactly. Um, so I like lately I've been I met a couple guys, just like either at the gym or just like kind of like in passing, like they're in my orbit. And I notice, and I'm like where I feel like I know that there's like interest, but there's not, yeah, they don't have the same level. I don't think it's that they don't have the curiosity, but they're just not asking the things that they should be asking to get to know me. Whereas I'm like, da-da-da-da-da. And I live for questions. You know this.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Oh, I know. I know. A girlfriend loves the questions.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

Just feel like how else am I supposed to get to know you? You know, like I have to know. So, and I try to be like good about it. I'm not like, tell me everything, you know, like I think I have sense, you know, I like to think. But yeah, it's something that's that I've realized. And so I I saw this like podcast clip, and they were it was a woman and a man, and she was saying that that was her dating experience. Like, men don't ask questions. And she said, like, this is because I think this is because like women, we ask each other things, but men kind of like talk at each other, you know, like they just kind of they just say what they need to say, and I guess it's heard. So I don't think that like inquisitive nature is obviously I'm making a generalization. There's I do know a few men who are amazing conversationalists. I love talking to them because they do ask, but just just like as a general general thing. What do you what do you think though?

SPEAKER_01 2:03

No, I I agree, and I also feel like there are some women who don't ask questions. I feel like some people just don't know how to have conversations with other people. Yeah. Have you noticed that?

SPEAKER_00 2:17

Yeah, because I think it's a lack of like I I think it's a social skill, right? Like it's a skill, like you have to 100%. If you want to make friends, if you want to be. And you and I have watched this podcast with that lady who talks about body language. Yeah. Right? But like if you want people to like you, you have to like people. If you want people to be curious about you, you you have to be a curious.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

That reminded me of like two really interesting quotes. So one was you can be interested in anything if you want to. Like you can force yourself to be interested in anything. So, like when you're meeting someone new, like force yourself to be interested in what they're saying, to be curious. That's all it takes. It's so smart. And then the other one that I thought was really interesting is it's not so much important for you to be charismatic. You want to make the other person feel charismatic. Oh, that's right. And that's what's gonna draw people to you. Like a lot of times we think it's that person has so much charisma, like they're the best storytellers, they're funny and witty and all of this stuff. But it's really about how can you make someone else feel if you're looking to like get that second date or to like draw people to you. Like, can you make somebody feel charismatic? Can you make somebody feel like their story is the most interesting story in the world? And that's like a real skill.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Like, if you if people, and we know people like that, right? Where it's like when you're with them, you're just like, oh, you and you walk away. And it I always think like I base how I feel about a person, how I how I feel when I'm away from them, or right after I've spent time with them. Like then I know, like, oh, this was this is a good one, this is a keeper, or no, this is true draining. Or boring.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

Yeah, like if you're drained, that's a sign. Like you don't want energy vampires in your life.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

No, no, you don't.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

I really love that though, the k making them feel charismatic. Right. Because I think a lot of times we get caught up, like even I get caught up. I'm like, I have to be like the charismatic one, but that's not what's important to other people.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

No, and that's a lot of pressure, too. Like, you know, you can't we can't always be like performing. Sometimes you have to, sometimes you know which situations you have to do be that way with.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

In but if that's your goal, is just like about yeah, making the other person kind of like uplifting them and letting them have their moment. That's a real gift that we can all give each other, right?

SPEAKER_01 4:43

Yeah. So I like that. And then I made some notes because I thought it was really interesting of this concept of how to have good conversations and that there's three different levels that we want to build. And so the first is just like a warm-up, a super easy opener. And I want to get your opinion on this. One thing I disagree about. I've been reading a lot that you shouldn't ask someone like, hey, how's it going? I personally like that as an opener. Like for me, anything else seems a little awkward. Yeah. And then like get into it, right? Like, what's wrong with asking someone like, hey, how are you? Because what what else would what are they suggesting? I don't know. Like, oh, what's the most like what's an exciting project that you're working on? But you're not gonna start with that.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

No, and it would be so unnatural. It'd be so unnatural. Can you imagine like running into somebody and them being like, what's the most exciting project you're working on? Like at the grocery store, that's insane. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:43

It's so I'm like still a fan of like the classic. A lot of it's getting a lot of shade. It's getting a lot of shade. Um, I but, anyways, so like level one, it's just like a warm-up, like easy opener. And some of the examples I saw were like, Oh, what's the best decision you made in the last year? What's something you're really proud of that most people don't know about? And I'm envisioning this as like when you like meet somebody, or like you and I, like I met you after a Pilates class and our first little girl date. You know, you start start with something easy. Yeah. And then you progress. But I guess with all relationships, you want to be getting past like the easy opener.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Like sorry, you need depth, you need depth.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

That's just a little warm-up. So then it like gets real, and that's where you can say, like, is there a version of your life that you almost live that you still think about? Right? Oh, Jenny, I love that. You want to answer?

SPEAKER_00 6:43

No, but I just feel like if if like somebody like you lit up, I just saw you. You lit up. Hey. I just feel like if somebody I care about and love asked me that, I would light up because I'm just like, oh my gosh, like for you to care enough to want to know the answer to that. Yeah because you know why, like I have to think about that. And I love thought-provoking questions, and I think most people Me too. Like, everybody wants to have a moment where they're like, Oh, I've never thought about that before. You know, it's it's it really shows like care and consideration and thoughtfulness.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

Yeah, and it's way better than like, oh, what do you do for work? Yeah, and whatnot. Yeah. Yeah, no, but that's really good. I love that one. You might like this too. So this is also under getting real. What's the biggest thing holding you back right now?

SPEAKER_00 7:34

Oof, too good.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

Too good. Too good. Um, there's so much about conversations we could talk. I could talk forever about talking. It's why we have a podcast. We're in the right business. Because I feel like also people need to understand how to really follow up questions, people stories to go deeper.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

And you can start with yourself. I think that's like a piece of advice I would give people because I feel like people like you and me are very social and we have friends, and we like I don't think well, actually, no, this is uh before I answer my own question. What do you think about like, do you find it harder to make friends in your 30s or as an adult?

unknown 8:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

What would you say? You don't.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

Well, I'll answer this and then we're gonna veer back because there's one more level, but like you can cut to this first.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Um yeah, I think it's so much harder to make friends when you're an adult. Because if you think about it, everything else, like in high school slash below, even college, like you see the same people every single day. And I think you also know less about yourself. Yeah. I could be generalizing, but I feel like you have this might have just been with me, like more friends, but not on deep levels. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you notice that when you were younger?

SPEAKER_00 8:52

Yeah, like the pool was bigger because I didn't ex it's exactly what you said. Like I didn't know myself. So I was like, if you're fun, cool, any of the, right? Any of the above, like, I'll take you. And as long as you're not really shitty, like, you know, unless you're you're as long as you're not blatantly shitty, um, I will, yeah, like we'll be friends.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Yeah. And I feel like when you're younger, and also a little bit now too, I feel like there's different types of friends. Yes. Like I have the girlfriend where if I want to go out dancing, like and have some drinks, like that's the girl I'm going with. Or I have my person where if I've had a bad day and I like want to laugh, I have that person I call. So I think there's different people. Totally. What do you think? Do you find you're so outgoing and I feel like you travel around a lot and you've never had an issue meeting anyone?

SPEAKER_00 9:39

Do you have I don't have a hard time? I think for me at this point in my life, it's like I am like you in that sense. I completely agree. Like you have friends for certain things, right? Like there's I have certain people that I love to be out with. Like if I'm in the mood to go out, like they're the person that calls. Yeah. But for the most part, I think in this phase and chapter of my life, like I do need depth out of almost everybody. Like, if I'm gonna spend time with you, it you know, if I'm really gonna invest in you, because now also we're just so much busier as adults, like so much busier.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

And the one thing, and tell me what you think that you need to do as an adult to have a lasting friendship, is first off, is consistency. Yes. Like you need to be consistent, you need to find someone where it's like we're gonna meet every Friday. This is what we did. Yes. And like you're there, you show up. Every Friday you're doing this. Maybe it's not once a week, maybe you only have time once a month and you're doing that brunch with your friend, or it's that Friday night phone call. But in order, I think to have this deep level of friendship, you need to be consistent and you need to show up.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

A hundred percent. That is such a mic drop, the consistency thing. And this is something I've been thinking about so recently. Like, what do I I because I you you and I are both like this, but like I love to go deep, but I also like to like break things down, you know, in my own time, in my own head of like, why does this work so well? And I do this with most things that work well. So I think about like relationships and I think about like two nights ago, I had dinner with a friend, and we're like kind of casual friends, but we actually went to dinner and I oh my god, I walked away from that being like that was one of the best nights I had in so long. And we bonded so deeply, and like I know so many things about him that I didn't know before, but I was just thinking, like, so the next day I was just thinking, I was like, why did that go so well? Like, what was it about that, you know? And I think, and then I thought about other friendships that I have that like that, and I was like, the number one thing with all my favorite friendships is consistency, people who are consistent, and and that has a lot to do with moods too. Like, I love a person who when they show up, they are just I'm not saying you need to be like Mr. Sunshine, because everybody doesn't have that. But if you just show up with awareness or you just say, like, I am having a day, then we can go from there. But like, just let me know, you know, a hundred percent like consistency is everything.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

I love it, but I think it also shows you who you want in your life, yeah, because there are people I'm not consistent for. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, for sure. Me too. And that even is like illuminating because it's like, okay, that's somebody where maybe that friendship isn't made meant to go to a different level. Maybe they're like a level one friend.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

Yeah. And everybody doesn't get all of you, right?

unknown 12:29

Right.

SPEAKER_00 12:30

Or the or even the best of you, which which, yeah, I think you're on to something with that too. Because I feel that as well. Like, I feel like I at this point in my life, to kind of circle back to what we were saying about making friends now, it's like if you're my friend, you know that you are loved and that I love you. Like you feel it, you don't have to think about it. So those are the people that I consider my friends. I am very outgoing. I do have a lot of people that I'm like, you know, in touch with or see, but I can't say that, oh yeah, I'm a really good friend to everybody that I'm friends with. There's very there is like a select crew that I'm like, you get all of me. And I love it. I love giving that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

And so now, level three, like the deep end. And I'm gonna be real with you. These questions, I don't even think I'm level three with myself. So I'm gonna be curious to see what you think. Here we go. Well, this one's actually easy. I'll be honest. There was some level three questions I didn't even put on our agenda because I was like, they're too deep. They're too deep for even me in a journal. Like, I'm not ready to dive that deep in the waters. Fair. Fair. So these are so level three but tolerable. So, what's a belief that you hold that most people in your life would disagree with?

SPEAKER_00 13:46

Oh, that's really good. Mm-hmm. That is a belief that you hold that most people would disagree with. See, what a thinker.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

What a thinker. I never know. I have to think about that. So maybe it's like a little journal prompt for tonight. That would be really good. Yeah. And now, what's the biggest lie you tell to yourself?

SPEAKER_00 14:07

Mm-hmm. Well, that's another one. You can't we can't be telling everybody that, right? There's only a few people you can do that with.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

I yes, and I think you might know that about me. Um, and now this last one is something that I would admit to people. So it's still the deep end, but a nice deep end.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:25

So if everything stayed exactly the same as it is right now, like your job, relationship, habits um in 10 years, would you be okay with that? Whoa I like that one.

SPEAKER_00 14:37

I like that one a lot. I just think for me personally, I'm not like a five-year planner. So to think 10 years, but if you told me one year. We could say five, fine, one year. For me, I just need something digestible. Just for me. But most people are not like me. But I I in that sense. So I do think that like if you gave me that for one year from now, like next March 20th, 2027, if I didn't change anything, how would I feel about life a year? That's a deep, like, that is so good. Jenny.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

Jenny with the gems. No, I mean, I yeah. So I like that. They're all like very interesting, and that's good conversation.

SPEAKER_00 15:18

Oof, that is a really like you are gonna have a great time at coffee if this is what you're talking about. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

All right, do we have anything more?

SPEAKER_00 15:28

No, I mean that's that is really, really good. You know what one thing I feel like, do you feel like you know your values? Like, are you very clear about your values? I think I am. And then did you have to do that? Have you sat and thought about them? Yes. Well, I did them with like the seven plus process last year, but but knowing my values really changed my friendships. Like, I had friendships end as a result, not purposely ending them, but because I became clear about my values. So that's one more thing I would add is like as I've gotten older, I think that it's really important that the people that I surround myself with, especially close people, have similar values.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Do you think there's different values for different relationships? Like what you value in a friend, what you value in a partner, like what you value in your actions, or do you think they all should be the same?

SPEAKER_00 16:18

I think the top three have to be the same for me to have like intimacy, right? And like, and that's the thing with close relationship, it's intimacy. So if if I have you, if I let you in in, then you gotta have the top three that I got top three. Minor integrity. How do you define integrity? Integrity to me, oh, and I love this question too. But integrity, because Oprah just did a podcast about this, about the difference between integrity and character, and integrity, which I think is like an important distinction, which we can save for next week, actually, because character is huge, right? Integrity right now, though. Yes, let's do integrity right now. But to me, and I and you know, it came up for me because when I had this dinner with this friend two nights ago, and I don't know if I'm gonna see him, like that's a whole nother thing because I'm away and then he's going away. So I don't know when I'll see him. But I just said to him, I was like, he just has such a good heart, and you can feel that with people. And that's so oh, like that to me, when I sense that, I'm like, I love you. Like I just do because I trust you. And I just think like for me, integrity is doing aligning with yourself and doing the right thing when nobody's looking, when you don't have to do it, when it doesn't, you're not gonna get an award for it. Like that to me is just doing the right thing. I love that. I just I just love that. Like that's my number number one. Yeah, is that the same as trust or are they a little different? I think they're a little like like do you trust somebody? Like that sort of thing. Yeah. I would say like it's really easy, it's a lot easier for me to trust and want to trust somebody if I feel like they have integrity. Right? But if those, yeah, I think I think you can't have one without the other, I would say. Like I can't have trust. Trust is dependent on integrity. On integrity. Okay, so we have integrity. Yeah, what? Compassion. Compassion is very important to me. Yeah. And that's for yourself and that's for others too. I just think like everybody's gotta take it a little easier on themselves and then on each other.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

Can I add one thing to compassion? Yes, please. I heard it today and it's beautiful. So this whole week, my intention has been ahisma, which in like the do you know in the yogic philosophy that's non-violence? Okay, and then someone this morning told me they interpret that as anything that's not self-love is self-harm. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

And I was like, oh, that's so beautiful. It really is. Wow. And it takes such importance, right? Like if you live live by that, then you really, really, really prioritize taking care of yourself and others. Like that self-love. That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

I thought I loved it. All right, so compassion, and that was the third one.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

Joy, which might not feel like a no, I love that. I think that's a good reminder. Yeah, joy is really important and really not that you need to be like, right? Like bouncy like us or anything like that. But like we all have bad days. Yeah. But the general feeling, like when I leave you, is like I felt joy. And joy feels joy is like the the feel the best thing, right? Like doing your best every day. Joy feels different every day. Some days it feels really calm, some days it feels peaceful, sometimes it feels like oh my god, you know.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

So much excitement.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, so those are my three.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

I love them.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Do you want to share yours or no? I want to steal joy. I love joy. Yeah. And then I think for me, truthfulness is a big one.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

And I think I have to reflect on like where would make the top for him one more third. I really loved all of yours, though.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

Thanks. Yeah, and that's big. And truthfulness, I I think goes hand in hand with integrity, right?

SPEAKER_01 19:58

Yeah. We have to be honest. We have to be honest. So now sharp turn. Next on the agenda is Nicole Kidman. Our queen. Queen of the moment. She's the queen of the moment. She's everywhere. She's never looked better. I mean, no, she has, but she looks amazing. She looks, she's killing. She looks amazing. Like she definitely looks better than she did like five years ago.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she's like gotten it right. Whatever it is, whatever everybody's doing, she's nailed, she nailed it.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

So yeah. Yeah. And I feel like it's beyond even her appearance for energy right now. The aura. Fire. Her aura is like a beautiful fireball. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

Literally, like these divorced women are making divorce look so sexy.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

So sexy.

SPEAKER_00 20:49

Right? As a happily married woman, I'm not putting that on you. No, no, no. I know. I'm just like, wow, they're really making this look pretty like. Yeah, they're like, they're just slaying.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

There's yeah. Absolutely amazing. All right, I'll let you take over and you can start. Where do we even begin? Where do we begin? Nicole Gitman.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

And you sent this to me in our DMs. She another one, but this one, but Nicole too. Like, she's the gift that keeps on giving right now. I just have so much from her. Okay, so I watched the have you ever watched Lost Culture Culturalistas podcast? No, but I need to. Do you know them though? Bone Yang from SNL? Okay. I I'll send you because it's so fun and it's so good. They're just so much fun. Um they're just like two friends and they have, you know, somebody on like yeah, and it's great. So, okay, so she was on and I watched every second of it and I ate it up. I loved it. But I wrote some things down. Okay, we're gonna start with Antarctica because I can't remember if we've mentioned this.

SPEAKER_01 21:51

We've talked about it, but let's do it.

SPEAKER_00 21:54

Let's go. So Dicole Goodman went on a cruise to Antarctica, right? It was her seventh continent. She's done all the continents. She did this one with her daughters and brought her friends, and she likes to bring the people that she works with too. Like she likes to take everybody on vacation, which I love. Like I love that thought.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

Vacations are my love language. Yeah. Like that's fun thing. Like I'm not huge into like clothing or even like a big house, but I love vacations. Oh. And like that's where I want to splurge. Yes. Or trips. We have to do it say.

SPEAKER_00 22:32

Yeah. Yeah. You love a trip, you love a good trip. But like in luxury, not like a bad luck trip. We're not taking Jenny camping. No.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

I will go glamping. Yes. I would too. A hundred percent. But no camping, no hostels. That's we're over. No. We need nice rooms, nice planes. Air conditioning. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:55

All of the all of the essentials. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So but I did love that. And I always think like if I it not, I want to say if, but when I like make it, that would be what I like. I just love taking, like, I want to go on a trip with my girlfriends, and I want us to have like the best time. And it's just like everything's taken care of. And you just you just go to have to be joyful, you know, like just fun and just but it seemed like that's what she does. She's like, I go with like a tribe, like I take everybody and their kids and their and I was like, I love it. What a generous queen. Okay, so they both went to Antarctica. He had just come back like two days prior, and she had been like a few weeks prior. So Antarctica is having a moment. As we already mentioned. So weird.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

So what's up there? It's first off, is Antarctica one of the poles? I don't know. Is it like the North Pole or is it the South Pole? Danny, you're asking the wrong girl. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

I don't know if it's a pole. And we might have to edit this out so we don't sound extra.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

Wait, but we do know it's a desert. Yes. You know it's a desert, and you taught me it's a desert. It's a desert. Not a fun desert. Because I don't know what you can do on it. It's not like a sand dune where you can ride camels and like a boogie on. I don't remember what I'm saying. Or worms if you watch Dune.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

Yeah, no, it's you're totally right. And they talk about like how ecologically conscious they are there. Like you can't like kneel on the snow. You can't like yeah, there's like so many things you can't do because it's they want to to preserve, I guess, whatever that is there.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

Yeah, it's really the stuff that's frozen there is very like ancient. The mysteries lie underneath the snow. In Antarctica. Yes. But it does seem miserable. Like the penguins. Do you remember that penguin movie? No, you watched it, but I didn't. Tell me about it though. Tell me. Give me a. That's a long time ago. No, no, no. They just have like a very hard life. Like their whole life is trying to like walk in a circle to protect their little like penguin eggs. And most of the eggs don't survive. Like it's brutal. It's brutal. That is brutal.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Well, she was calling it diarrhea island the whole time because these penguins have like stomach issues, I guess, from whatever they're eating. And it was like, she said it was really. Yeah, that wasn't a great selling point. Because like the other guy, I forget his name. He was like, Yeah, he was like, I already didn't want to go, now I really don't want to go.

SPEAKER_01 25:24

No, but I do think they go to prove the flat earthers wrong. Oh, yes, you did tell me that. Because I thought it's interesting. Because in the the flat earth theory, they think Antarctica goes around the edge of the entire earth. So like our corners would all be Antarctica. So the sun would not work the way the sun works. Like it would not stay light for 24 hours a day if the earth were flat. And Antarctica were like the rim of the entire earth. So you think people are not going to be able to do that. That's what it's good at. Yeah. I don't know if everybody goes to Antarctica to just cover if the Earth is round. It's quite the venture.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

Yeah, that is a trip to just something that you could probably chat GPT if you really need to see it with your eyes, you know? So okay, so you actually know quite a bit about Antarctica, I have to say. That's all that's it. She drops it. No desire to go there. Me either. It's the same thing. I'm like, I don't want to go to the moon. I don't want to go to Antarctica. I'm fine for right now, being in New Jersey. Perfectly fine. Yeah. I think it's like an exhibitionism.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

Oh, yeah. Like I've been everywhere. Where else can I go?

SPEAKER_00 26:35

Let me take my shirt off while I do it. Yeah. Right here. Okay, so should they talk about that? And then she talks about, okay, this is what I need to know from you. This is what she says. From she was like talking about our movies and this and that, and then states of being. Okay. Okay. She said, yearning is one of the most underrated states of being. I'm in that now, and it keeps you alive. And they were alive. You could tell they were taken by it. And I was shocked too. But they were talking about love and romance, and like, you know, this bothers me so much that I don't know his name. I'm gonna Google it right now. But so it's Bo and Yang and and I just I it I need to get his name right because there's two of them. Matt Rogers. So Matt Rogers was saying that he was like, I know, but like I'll never yearn the way I did when I was like 15 to 25. And it's like kind of sad because you don't feel like that, you know, that same like intensity. And she and that's when she said she was like, oh no, like I'm in it now. She was like, that's what makes me feel alive. And I was like, what? So I disagree.

SPEAKER_01 27:39

No, I think I feel like yearning is a state of not being content in your life, and it's this constant dissatisfaction. And I'm gonna say, I don't know anything about Nicole Kidman, but I know she's a workaholic. Yes. This woman, she has her own production company. She's doing I don't even know it's possible to make this many projects at a time. Like she's in at least two new shows that have like dropped this that are dropping this month. Right now. Right now. She's working on, I think, practical magic, which I'm still excited for. I can't wait. I can't wait. Um, and she's probably doing 10 million other things. She doesn't know how I'm diagnosing her right now. I'm not a psychologist. I don't think she knows how to sit still, and I don't think she knows how to be content. Oof, Jenny. Oof. That's just my take. I know nothing about this woman. I'm making so many assumptions right now. No, no, but we're I'm asking for it. Yeah, I don't think yearning is a good state to be in.

SPEAKER_00 28:42

I yeah, when I heard that, so and also we have to say, like, you are a yoga teacher and there like your work involves your intuition, and you also have practiced so many different studies. So I think you're it's fair for you to diagnose objectively, you know, the situation.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

Yeah, we all can have opinions.

unknown 28:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

You have extra street cred. That's what I'm trying to say. You have extra street cred cred. But when I heard that, it made it reminded me. So years ago, she won an Oscar, and I remember she was doing an an interview and she was talking about like how she won this Oscar, and even though it was like the happiest she it should have been the happiest moment, she was so sad because she was going to her hotel room alone and she didn't have a partner. And I I heard this interview years ago, like I in my 20s or early 20s, and I remember thinking, like, and I like I just remember thinking like that's so sad. You're at the top of your career, like you're having the most powerful moment in your career that you've worked for your entire life, and you that's diminished because you don't have a partner, you know? And I've spent most of my adult life without a partner, but it's been so important for me to, because of people like Oprah that I've learned so much from, to like really value myself and just my being and working on myself. So I just thought like it was confusing to me. Like, how can somebody be so successful but then emotionally feel so yeah, small, you know?

SPEAKER_01 30:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

But I think it kind of goes with what you're saying. But I will say in the interview, she gets to this point where they're talking about like polyamory and you know, like having multiple partners, and she's like, I think that's just a result of like not being able to be with yourself, like truly alone. And I was like, Okay, Nicole, are we having a moment? Because obviously, like she doesn't talk about it, but she's going through a divorce, right? So I'm like, maybe she's getting there.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Maybe did you see that? I think she was holding hands. There's rumors of her and her co-star. Is he his co-star? Her co-star, co-star from I don't know, because I haven't seen it because it's like a forensic thriller, yeah. Co-star paying, yeah. I need like Ted Lasso level, yes, every thing. I need joy, yes, yes, yes. But yeah, I think they're holding hands, right? Simon Baker, and that also leads to don't make assumptions because I'll be honest, the first thing I heard about when she got divorced from Keith Urban is he probably cheated on her with a younger woman. Just because that's where my mind goes. Yeah. But I mean, they've only been divorced six months, not even divorced, they've been separated six months. Like that is, in my opinion, not enough time to have like a whole relationship where now you're comfortable to step out on a red carpet with someone and hold hands hands. So I think some things were going on. Some things, some things were going along.

SPEAKER_00 31:35

It's fascinating. Yeah, I I think we might be wrong with that assumption. We don't really know, right? We'll never know. We'll never really know unless she comes unless she comes on Oprah and tells her herself. She's only gonna tell the truth to Oprah. Oprah's the only one who's gonna really get it out of her. But it's one of those things that I think about where I'm like, man, you know, people are just people. And I we can't this is why you can't make like, you know, monuments out of a person, because it's like you can be somebody can be so good at something, so like you look up to them and be like, wow, they're so successful in their career, or this or that. But like everybody's still working on something, like there's always something, and maybe for her, for all those years or still, it was just like distractions so that you don't have to end up like alone at home at the end of the day, you know. Um, so that would be oh my god, if we got a chance to ask her, you know, your question that you were asking, like, what is it that you lie to yourself about, or like what does one believe? Look, my headphones came out. I need to know, Nicole. I need to know. But to but to go back to your yearning thing, I feel the same way. Like to me, I think listen, I think momentarily yearning could be great because you know how people have like different things that fuel them. Like some people love like to be under pressure and and like being at the bottom, like love hitting rock bottom because there's nothing to lose, so you can only go up. Like, I get the benefit, like benefiting from all of your emotions, right? But like I can wait till the next time I'm yearning. Like I am in no rush to yearn again, you know?

SPEAKER_01 33:13

And I feel like there's a way to want different things in your life without feeling the feeling of yearning. That's true too. Like, you can want like a different career, you can want a different person, you can want all of these other things while still being joyful and happy in your life. Without that sense, I just maybe it's just me. I associate yearning with discontent. No, I think you're right, an attachment.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

And with yearning, there is attachment, right? But if you that's so true, like if you just want something, you can accept that it'll come when it's supposed to, which is the ultimate acceptances.

unknown 33:51

Oof.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

Like you are not half enlightened, you are full enlightened if you have acceptance. I love that so good.