21 | When You Keep Showing Up... Barely: Finding Clarity When You Feel Stuck with John Salzwedel

Have you ever looked around and thought:

"Nothing is technically wrong... so why does everything feel so heavy?"

In this episode of At the Counter, Laura sits down with coach, speaker, and author John Salzwedel for a grounded and honest conversation about what it means to keep going when clarity feels out of reach.

For years, John led a successful career, yet underneath the accomplishments, something wasn't lining up. He found himself showing up, getting things done, and doing everything he was supposed to do, while quietly feeling disconnected from the work and purpose that once energized him.

Together, Laura and John explore what happens when life feels foggy, when busyness becomes overwhelming, and when you're carrying so much that you can no longer hear yourself think.

This conversation is for anyone who feels stuck, overloaded, or unsure about what comes next.

In This Episode

• Why feeling stuck doesn't mean you're lost
• The difference between being overwhelmed and lacking direction
• How busyness can create emotional and spiritual fog
• Why identifying your values matters
• Making decisions without shame
• Finding clarity when everything feels overwhelming
• Small steps that help you move forward
• Why your worth is not tied to productivity or success

Counter Pause

Take a slow breath.

What feels heavy right now?

Not what everyone else thinks should matter.

What feels heavy to you?

And what is one small step you could take toward clarity?

You don't have to solve everything today.

Just take the next step.

Breath Prayer

Breathe in: God of wisdom...

Breathe out: Show me the next step.

About John

John Salzwedel is a coach, speaker, and author of STOP Leaving Life on the Table.

After nearly 30 years in the insurance industry, John began asking deeper questions about purpose, responsibility, and what it means to build a life that fits. Today he helps people think clearly when something important is on the line, cut through overwhelm, and move forward with greater clarity and confidence.

Resources & Links

Connect with John:
https://www.theCoach.vip/podcast

Book:
STOP Leaving Life on the Table by John Salzwedel
https://amzn.to/43j9qNa

A Gentle Reminder

You don't have to have your entire future figured out.

Sometimes clarity begins with one honest question.

Sometimes purpose begins with one small step.

And sometimes showing up barely is still showing up.

Closing

Pull up a chair.

There's space for you here.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Welcome to At the Counter with the Baking Pastor. I'm Laura. Pull up a chair. There's no rush here. This season we're sitting with the hard days. The ones that don't resolve quickly. The ones that change us in ways we we didn't ask for. Here at the counter, nothing needs to be fixed. You don't have to have the right words. You don't have to have it all figured out. You can just come as you are and stay a while. This is hard days at the counter. Welcome back to At the Counter. Pull up a chair, take a breath. Today's conversation is for the days when you're showing up just barely. You're doing what needs to be done. You're carrying what's yours to carry. And from the outside, everything might look okay, but inside something feels foggy, heavy, maybe unclear. If that's where you've been sitting lately, you are not alone. Today I'm joined at the counter with John Salsweedle. John is a coach, speaker, and author of the book Stop Leaving Life on the Table. His work centers around helping people think clearly when something important is on the line. After nearly 30 years in the insurance industry, John began asking deeper questions about purpose, responsibility, and what it really means to have a life that fits. And what he discovered is something that I think many of us quietly carry. A lot of people aren't stuck because they lack ability. They're stuck because they're trying to carry too much all at once in their own head. Today he works with people who are trying to sort something out, often something that matters deeply, and they don't want to get it wrong. He helps them slow things down, cut out the noise, and move forward with clarity. John, I'm so glad you're here with us today.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Thank you, Laura. It's a pleasure to be here and looking forward to having a conversation with you.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

When you hear the phrase showing up barely, what comes to mind from your life?

SPEAKER_02 2:37

From my life, showing up barely is probably a good description of a moment. It would be about 10 years ago. And I was CEO at my company, CEO and owner. I'd been there, like you said, almost 30 years. And everything was going great. Look good. Look at it from the outside. But but for me, going to work was hard work. Just going to work was difficult. Getting out of bed wasn't any fun. Doing the job was tough. I got everything done, but things that I could have done right now, I said, well, I'll just do that next week. And so I was putting things off. I didn't have the fire. I didn't have the excitement. I was surrounded by wonderful people. And I enjoyed being with them socially, but work-wise, it just wasn't there anymore. I just wasn't excited about every day.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

Was there a moment when you realized that something needed to change, like immediately, or was it a gradual process?

SPEAKER_02 3:39

It was a gradual process. And I think for most of us it is. I don't think there are, of course, people out there that something traumatic, something big happens and it changes everything. It changes who they are, it changes their whole world. But for most of us, we're we're in a job, the job works, or we're in a relationship, the relationship works, or whatever it may be. But every day we're a little different than we were the day before, somehow, every single day. And so is the job or the situation or the world around us. And so we we have little tiny changes that go along and we don't even notice it's happening. It's like the old story about if you put a frog in boiling water, he'll jump right out. But if you put him in cold water and slowly raise the temperature, he'll stay in there. It's a horrible analogy. I really hate it, but but it's accurate. And it's what we do. Our life changes. We stay in there, and one day we look at it and say, now how did I get here? And why doesn't this work anymore? And so for me, that's that lasted, that was a number of years. And then even after I realized something's not in alignment, what can I fix here? There was still several years there that I looked. I wanted to stay where I was because I again I was with a good company and with great people, and the work we were doing was important. So I studied and studied and listened to all the greats and read and listened to anything I could find. Ultimately, even after trying to plug some things into that position, I decided that I needed to make a full change. Most people don't. It's minor, small little things that might need to be adjusted. But for me, it was a little bit bigger.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

For someone listening who thinks nothing is technically wrong, so why do I feel this way? What would you say to them?

SPEAKER_02 5:21

The first thing I would say is don't feel guilty, because I did. I felt guilty. I had a great life. But something wasn't right. It just wasn't there. And there's hope for that. There's you you can take the time, and that's the key part of it, take the time to find out what isn't lined up, why are you feeling that way? And sometimes it can be really difficult to find that because the the uh social media, the TV, society as a whole, even well-meaning friends and family will give you ideas, thoughts, they'll tell you everything that you need to do. Maybe they're right, maybe they're not, but you need to take the time yourself. For me, I took a lot of quiet time, a lot of prayer time, and just looked at me. Who am I? What do I stand for? And what isn't working right? What isn't lined up with what's important to me.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

It almost sounds like what you described in your book about not being lost, but it being something entirely different. And when you talk about people being overloaded rather than lost, can can you unpack that a little bit?

SPEAKER_02 6:30

We have so much. The world is loud, the world is noisy. I I actually just sent out a note to uh some people this morning about taking time to not be busy. We have so many things we do in our world, in our lives, and sometimes it is just busyness that accomplishes absolutely nothing. It doesn't match any of our goals. The only thing it does makes us feel good because we've got some stuff done. But it doesn't further our goals, it doesn't further the goals of anybody. And because it is just constant bombardment, do this, do this, do this, you need this, you gotta have that. Our brains just get overwhelmed. And it's hard to say no to people, especially people that we care about when they bring stuff to us, but sometimes we have to. But I was never one to do that. It was always, yeah, okay, I'll fit it in somewhere. And to say no to people that are important to me is difficult. But sometimes you have to do that. So it wasn't necessarily so much that I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing, but I had so many things that were outside of that that were on my plate that were taking my time away from getting focused the way that I needed to.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

And I think that that busyness sometimes creates like a fog that we're we're kind of in. And, you know, everything is there, but you know, we we can't, we're so busy that we have this block. And we're, you know, what they used to say, you know, you you miss the flowers um because you're too busy with everything else. And it's all about doing, doing. And I mean, how many of us have? I mean, I'm looking at my desk right now and I have like, I don't know, four or five checklists of stuff. We all have those. We gotta, you know, get them done. But so why do you think so many people feel unsure about who they are or what they're supposed to be doing?

SPEAKER_02 8:25

I think most people are a bit unsure about that for a number of reasons. One is one we've thing we talked about already. There's so many people that give us advice and tell us what we should do, and we don't find the time or force the time to look at it, to study it, to see who we really are and what's really important. And um, I think that that's one of the biggest things that that gets in our way there.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

And one part of your book, and I want to think it's the beginning, you were talking about the the various lenses and how we we see our life through these various lenses. How do you think the lenses shape the way we experience life?

SPEAKER_02 9:10

Everything that that that happens to me changes how I see everything else that's going on around me. And and that happens for everybody. One of the the limiting factors we have in in our worlds is that we we can't, when we see somebody do something, we we don't understand what's going on in their head when they do that. As we go through life, we experience more of those types of things when we talk and listen to people and start figuring out or hearing from them, this is why I thought this, this is why I did this. Our lenses start to change a little bit. We start to see things a little bit more clearly. We have some idea of how somebody could be, you know, how could you do something so stupid? Well, now we know how they could do something stupid because it wasn't stupid from what they were looking at. They were seeing different facts and they were seeing it from a different, a different angle. So it's just it's a matter of learning more about people and about the world around. And that helps us to see things a little bit clearer and maybe a little bit more through someone else's eyes.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

So, how do you think someone can begin to recognize that it may be their perspective, not necessarily just their situation that would need shifting?

SPEAKER_02 10:28

I think, well, that is uh, you know, that's kind of the key to it. For me, it turned out to be the situation that needed to shift. But I think it's education. And the the first part of it, the education that has to happen is you really need to figure out who you are. Find your beliefs, nail them down. I'm a big advocate of taking a big old piece of paper and a pencil and then just start writing and just brainstorm on paper. These are the things that I believe, these are the people that are important to me, these are the tasks that I do that actually matter. And when you get all those together, then you start looking at those that seem to keep repeating. And then you find out, okay, why? What's important about that? And that helps you to distill down a bit what is important. And if it turns out that what you're doing has nothing to do with or is contrary to what's important, well, then you know you have a change you need to make in that route. So it's kind of a digging into it and just seeing where the problem is.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

One of the things that I really appreciated about your book was all through it, you kept referring to a link on your website where you had these worksheets. And since I was reading your book on Kindle, I wasn't always at my computer when I thought about it. So it took a while, but I finally went up and I was able to download them. And I think that, you know, the worksheets you share give people a great place to start, to look, you know, you said beliefs are huge. I think a lot of people either don't know what they believe or they're afraid to vocalize it. And so by giving them permission to go through those worksheets, I think it's gonna be really helpful for a lot of put people.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

I hope so. And I I agree, people are worried about vocalizing it. And one of the things that I always stress to people, you don't have to share these sheets with anyone. Fill them out for you. And if you don't ever want anyone to see them, go ahead and cut them up, burn them up, whatever. Use them to to organize your thoughts to to get it all out there so you can toss it around and see what what is important to you. So I'm and I'm glad I'm glad I thought you were gonna say you have these links in there and it didn't work. But I'm glad it didn't.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

No, it worked that I I downloaded them and took click. So I have a Kindle scribe, so the what I did was I uploaded all the worksheets there and I've been able to write on them. So they weren't uh something else adding to the counter or to my desk.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

So nice.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

So this is where I think your message gets really honest. You talk about the differences between taking responsibility and staying stuck in the blame. How do we hold on to that without turning it into shame?

SPEAKER_00 13:07

Wow, that's a deep question. And it's a really, really good one.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

We have responsibilities and we have to figure out what they are, and and we have to prioritize those responsibilities. My my first commitment is to my Christianity, my second commitment is to my wife, and so nothing can ever conflict or come before my Christian beliefs. Nothing I do can come before those things that I need to do for Susan, but what I do for my wife cannot be in contrary, contrary to my beliefs. And and you build that priority in all of the things that are important to you in all of the roles, all of the tasks that you do. And as you build that priority up and you start to figure out these are the things that truly are important to me, then you can let yourself off the hook when you have to say no to some things, but you can also look at those things you're responsible for, the things that you I talk about it in the book that the something that's important to someone that's important to you should be important to you. If there's something that my wife needs or wants to do that doesn't mean anything at all to me, well, normally you could put that way down and dismiss it and put it away. But if you if I have identified that that's an important thing to her, then all of a sudden it becomes much more important to me because it is important to her. When we do that, we get a better picture of what's important to us in all fast. And it gives us a little more freedom to say no to some things, and it gives us a little understanding or a reason for why am I doing this thing that doesn't directly matter to me. So that understanding clarifies why we do some of the things that we do.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

I so appreciate how you mentioned your wife in the book and taking into her her consideration. Like I think the example was church was so far away. Did you move? Did you get an apartment? And and that discussion back and forth. And and I think you said you had the house you really liked, but you would have, you know, you'd have to tell your wife that they were you were moving. I I just kept thinking about that because relationship is really important for me. And with Todd, do things together, we discuss things together, we work through things together. We would never make a decision for someone else without specifically considering what's going on. And I so appreciated that. And that example was was hysterical about the church. You know, we could sell this, we could do this, or we could just have the church move closer and buy more land. And I was like, you know.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Yeah, yeah, it's it's it's kind of fun. That was one of the things I enjoyed in in writing the book is at points, you know, it's my book. I could do what I wanted and I could have some fun and get a little bit ridiculous on some things. But to make a point and show that there are options out there for all the different things that we want to do. Some of them are ridiculous, some of them appear ridiculous on the surface. But as you dig into them, they may actually be viable, or maybe with just with a little bit of changing. But I'm glad you like that. I enjoyed writing that part. That was fun.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

Well, especially, you know, you were talking about wanting to get things done, but obviously not lose so much time in your day, you know, going back and forth. And, you know, when you said maybe you could do your your choir or your worship and all that on the same time and have all your meetings when you're there. I mean, that just makes so much sense to to do everything as much as you can according to everybody else's schedule in one shot without having to go back and forth, back and forth, and back and forth.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

Yeah. Yeah, there's ways to I one of the things I always taught my kids is there's always a solution. And sometimes it's not obvious, sometimes it's a whole lot of work, but there always is a solution.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

Funny, Todd will he'll come here, he'll say, We never say we have issues or anything. He'll come in and say, We have a situation. Now let's come up with a solution.

SPEAKER_02 17:06

That's excellent.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

So for someone who's going through something genuinely hard, how do they begin moving forward in maybe a healthy way as opposed to other ways we see?

SPEAKER_02 17:18

We all go through things. And some people go through bigger, nastier things than I have or ever will. But everybody is dealing with something, and when you're dealing with it, it's big to you, even if it doesn't seem big to somebody else. And the first thing you have to do is allow yourself to look at it that way and say, okay, I got this problem. It really, this bad thing happened. What am I going to do with it? And be okay with that, and then spend that time. What do I need to do to surround that? These are the things I know about me. How do I how do how do I as an individual deal with these types of things? And what do I need to do for myself? Who do I need to reach out to to help me deal with whatever this might be? And what are the options? And and then take a step, do something. You know, you may not feel like it, but but if you make enough steps in the right direction, you'll find your way through it. And even if you don't know what your second step is, by the time you finished your first step, you'll know what your next one is. Because each step gets us a little clearer as you're walking through the woods. You can only see ten feet in front of you. When you've gone ten feet, you can still see ten feet in front of you, which is twenty feet from where you started. So every little step makes things a little bit clearer for going through. Um, and give yourself the grace to work your way through it.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

Yeah, grace is is important. So I think there's also a deeper layer here about who we believe we are. You write that our worth isn't based on the success or failure, but it's on being created by God. How did that shift things for you personally?

SPEAKER_02 18:58

My wife and I have been involved. We did one of those things. This is this is a dangerous prayer to pray. So if you ever pray it, be be aware, God will use it. My wife prayed the prayer, God break my heart for what breaks yours. Um, and it's it's a dangerous prayer because He will He will take you up on it. And from that, we ended up having a young man who was living on the street, and he came to to live with us for just two weeks while they were working on some new facilities in in town near here. And that two weeks turned into about two years, and we've actually now known him about nine years. He has two little kids that they call me grandpa, and he's doing amazing. In that whole thing, I c I got to know him, I got to know his friends, the people that he knew. And through my own struggle of having a job that for whatever reason was not in connection for me, I started noticing that in people, other people around. Some kind of hopelessness. I'm lost, I don't know what is next, I don't matter, the world doesn't see me, things I do day to day don't mean anything to anyone. I started seeing that everywhere, and I was, I guess, in danger of going down that road myself. But the right things came my way to point out to me that I am made in God's image. And uh one of my favorite old sayings is, God, don't make no junk. If I'm important enough to him that that he would make me and fashion me individually to be exactly who I am, that he would come to earth and die so that I could be with him forever. If I'm that important to the creator of the universe, the creator of everything, what what does it what does it matter what others may see about me on the outside? And I wanted to share that whole idea, that thought with others, because there are so many people in pain, so many people hopeless, depressed, sad. Suicide is out of control and is, in my mind, largely preventable. But we have a job to do in order to do that. And we have to make sure people know you can talk to me. I'm here for you, I'm not here to judge you. You matter. And one of the things I like to make sure everybody understands, the you that you are is the only one of you there ever was or ever will be. Nobody in history or any time coming up will have the same mix of experiences and life and thoughts that you have. We as a world, as a society, need what you can share because it's different than what anyone else can share. And we need we need that input from everybody's whoever you are, wherever you are, you matter.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

Yes. Yes. So for someone who feels like they're barely holding it together, what does that look like to rest in truth?

SPEAKER_02 22:09

Sometimes it's scary, but once you get through that, get through the scary and get through the I wasn't expecting to find this out about me. Because you will find out things about you that maybe you weren't ready to hear or you didn't know you were going to have to hear. But once you work through all that, there is a there is in knowing that you matter to the creator and in knowing that you have a purpose. I didn't I have no idea where I'm going. Well, now you know you got to figure out where you're going. Your first goal, your first job is to figure out what your goal is and and what you're meant to be doing. And there's great peace there, there's direction, there's energy in that.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

For someone who may feel unclear or worn down, how would they begin reconnecting with their purpose?

SPEAKER_02 23:11

The very, very first thing that that I tell everyone is really dig into who you are. What are your beliefs? And there's not nothing too small, nothing too big. Write it down. If you believe it to be absolutely true, write it down and get to know what that is. And that's going to be your first step into finding your purpose because your purpose will not be in conflict with your beliefs. Excuse me. And then you you look into some different ways to help identify it. What is fun? What do you enjoy doing? What do you love doing? What really fires you up? What kind of thing do you sit down at and look up nine hours later and not realize that you hadn't taken a break during that entire time because it has you so drawn in? One of the big ones for me is what makes you cry. What is that thing that that happens that you see in the world that just rips at your heartstrings? Your purpose may have something to do with that. But there are you use any questions that you can to identify what is important to you and what skills God has given you. And you when you put all of that together and you look at it, a direction starts to show itself. And and just a direction, not necessarily a solution or an end answer, but I know it's somewhere down this way. So you start working that way and you start researching that way and you start learning that way until you get a little bit clearer about how you're gonna move that direction.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

So let's bring this down to something tangible. For someone who feels stuck right now, what's one small place they can begin?

SPEAKER_02 24:52

I would suggest if someone is feeling stuck, to to examine that area. Turn off your TV and your phone and your computers, grab a piece of paper, and look at that area. Um if it's job, and we'll just use that as an example. It doesn't have to be a job. But if it's your job, okay, here's where I am. This is what I'm doing. What do I love about it? What do I not like about it? What is throwing me off? What what kinds of things do I delay in doing? What kinds of things do I am I excited to do? Do I put them at the top of the list, even if they're not important? And write it all down. Don't evaluate any of it. Just start writing. And use as many pieces of paper as you need to. And things will start to show up to show you this is the problem area. You'll start seeing those things. And when you when you are starting to see that, then you can figure out, okay, can I fix this in my current job, in my current company? Sometimes you can do the same job, but the company you're with isn't the right one. Sometimes you can the company is the right one, but the job you're doing there is the wrong one. It doesn't match your skills, it doesn't match your passions. But the idea is you you figure it out, nail down, write down everything you can think of about that situation. And then is it a positive or is it a negative? And that will help you to kind of get a feel for where your problem is and where you need to put some time and some focus into addressing that.

SPEAKER_01 26:23

So if someone needed to make some major decisions, why would identifying values be such an important step?

SPEAKER_02 26:32

Identifying values and responsibilities is important to uh to those steps. So you don't make a decision that's going to throw off things that are important to you. An example would be for me, had I encountered this situation that I went through. At the point I encountered it, my kids had moved out and uh we were in a pretty decent financial state. I kind of made my mark there in that area. Things were pretty good. Had I run into that issue 15 years before that, my kids would have still been at home. And to suddenly say, uh, I'm out and going to a new industry, going from a stable income with benefits to nothing would have violated some responsibilities that I have in my life in taking care of my family. So by understanding where my beliefs are, where my responsibilities are, who is important to me, I get a much better feel and a much stronger idea of when I can make the changes, or to what extreme I can make those changes.

SPEAKER_01 27:45

So what does a next step actually look like when everything feels overwhelming?

SPEAKER_02 27:53

When everything is overwhelming, what does the next step look like? It takes time. You have to figure out what that next step is. And you use all the things we've talked about, clearing your head, getting all of your thoughts out there, and then you have to start looking at what you font that future to be. What has finding out about who you are, what has that told you about where you want to be, who you want to be, whether it's 20 years down the road, 10 years down the road, five years down the road. And there's a lot of talk about how to go through that, but the next step is something in that direction. And one of the key things is to make a step, even if it's not perfect, because the secret is there isn't a perfect one. There's there's nothing you can do that's the perfect next step. Something else could be better. But if you have analyzed everything based on who you are and what's important to you, and you have figured out where it is you want to go, as long as you're taking a step that direction, then it doesn't, you know, it's gonna be good enough. And then the next step will clarify it a little bit more in every step along the way. But the key is to take it and not say, someday I'm going to, you don't know if you gotta someday.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

Good point. And this part I think a lot of people are gonna feel you mentioned that when you change directions, not everyone understands or follows along. How did you navigate that? Because I think you said you had well-meaning friends and family and and others who had to share their opinion.

SPEAKER_02 29:23

Yeah. How I did navigate because I still am. It's it's kind of weird when I I'm almost 60 years old and I was in an industry for 30 years. Everybody knew me as the CEO insurance guy, and we had a retirement from insurance party, and we're real careful about that and told everybody I'm retiring from insurance. I'm not retiring because I would drive both myself and my wife nuts if I retired. And so I started something new and doing something that I know I wanted to do the know that I'm called to be doing. Well, that was over a year ago that I had my retirement from insurance party, and I still weekly get so how's retirement treating you? You enjoying not having anything to do? I'm like, well, I'm working like 60 hours a week now, so I don't know that it's that you can call it retirement, but yes, I am enjoying what I'm doing. It's a lot of fun. But getting people to see me as that, as as a coach, as a speaker, as an author is really difficult because they know you who you are. So it's kind of like when you see someone from church in the grocery store. I know I know you, but but you're not in the right context because I I can't figure out why I know you. It's that same kind of thing. They know me as the insurance guy. And so seeing me as anything different is going to take a long time. So how did I navigate it? Still am.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

How do you stay grounded when others question your choices?

SPEAKER_02 30:49

Ooh. I think it's because of the amount I stay grounded by the the amount of work I put into figuring out what I'm supposed to be doing and the the I I try not to rely too much on emotions, but the emotions that I feel when I'm working with someone and I can see that they can can use the kind of help that I can give or the kind of help that I can be a conduit for. The feelings that I have in those situations or when I think of those situations makes it absolutely clear to me that what I did was the right choice. Doesn't mean it was an easy choice. It's it's hard to go from having a staff of people to take care of all the stuff I didn't want to do to having me. And I have to take care of all the stuff whether I want to or not. And people around not being able to see me for the new role, these are all kinds of conflicts. It makes it all very, very difficult. But I I know without a doubt that my step out of that industry into this one was the right one, was the correct way to go. And I keep building it as I go and and learning, okay, I thought I wanted to do this part of it, but I don't. And so that next step changes and I'm doing this part instead. And and building on the things that I know are true and trying new stuff to see what else is supposed to be a part of it.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

What would you say to someone who feels alone in their growth?

SPEAKER_02 32:22

You're not. We're all growing, hopefully. There's no staying the same. We're either growing or we're getting we're getting we're decaying, one or the other. Because the world around you doesn't stay the same. So you're either getting better, closer to who you are supposed to be, or you're getting further away from it. And sometimes that growth is alone. Sometimes nobody believes you that or it feels like it. You're not you're not actually alone, but everybody around you is telling you it's a mistake, it's not the right thing. They they don't necessarily know the things you're going through. And you, if you choose to, can explain that to them. They may not like it, they may not go with it, but you don't have to explain it to them. It's it's you that you're working on. And when it feels alone, realize that others have gone through that. And there are people that will talk to you and will be supportive of you and find those. And the way you find those is by being that person for other people and not judging when they're doing something absolutely nuts. Don't judge it. You can ask questions and say, I don't see, I don't understand why you're doing this, that kind of thing. But if you're that person for someone, they'll be that person for you. Some some of them will, some won't, some just take, and that's that's okay. But but there will be people there that will be there with you and for you. And don't be afraid to reach out to them. And if you can't find someone in your social circle, reach out to someone in a professional circle. And uh whether it's a pastor at the church or a therapist or a coach or uh doctor or whatever it might be, whoever it might be, someone that you truly can talk to and share with and that wants the best for you.

SPEAKER_01 34:05

Yeah. Don't don't stay stuck alone. There's people out there.

SPEAKER_02 34:10

Yeah. Yeah. I had I had lots of help. Some from people that I had always known I would get help from and would always be there. And some of the people I knew would always be there weren't. That uh, you know, that was that's not a lot of fun to find that out. But it does happen. And and that's okay. People are people, people are busy, and things come up, but but there are those that are with you through whatever might come up.

SPEAKER_01 34:35

That's a a very valuable lesson I learned when I was dealing with my breast cancer. Like there were people who had always been there who suddenly disappeared.

SPEAKER_00 34:49

So yeah, you can go all alone.

SPEAKER_02 34:53

Yeah, you certainly can. You certainly can. And and it and it's hard. You know, none of the the stuff that I talk about, it's it's not complicated, and which it has to be that for me, because I I don't get into complicated. I'm a pretty simple guy. But it's not always easy. It's just because it's simple doesn't mean it's easy. And going through this and learning these things about yourself and about the people around you and about what God has planned for you, those are big questions. And and they take energy. And when you're when you're fighting with just the your whole existence and what it's supposed to be, well, you have less energy to go through that stuff too. So it's not easy. So get the help however you need to do that.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

So I'd love to give you some space here. If someone listening today feels like they're barely showing up, what would you want them to hear?

SPEAKER_02 35:46

My dogs have comments on that.

SPEAKER_00 35:48

Hi doggies.

SPEAKER_02 35:51

If someone is bar barely showing up, I'm sorry, they barked over the last part of the question.

SPEAKER_01 35:56

If someone is barely showing up, what would you want them to hear?

SPEAKER_02 36:01

I would want them to hear that there is a path through. There are things that you can do to find your way. There are people that will help you with that. But no matter what you come up with, you have value, just who you are. You matter just the way you are, and you are worth putting the energy in to figure out what is my life supposed to look like? How do I not leave any life on the table? What does that look like? And put in that energy. And some of it you need to do alone, but not all of it. And so do what you can alone, get help from others, get input from others, because people see you from from their own lenses. You have your internal lenses, people have their lenses when they look at you, which is different than what you see. All of that information can help you find the direction you need to go. So just don't be afraid of it and don't think you're not worth it, or your life is not worth putting in that much energy.

SPEAKER_01 37:02

So there's something sacred about continuing to show up, even when it feels like you're doing it with empty hands. It's not polished, not certain, just present. Maybe clarity doesn't come all at once. Maybe it begins with noticing what's already in front of you. One breath, one step, one honest moment. If today's conversation resonated with you, if you're in a season where you're trying to sort something out and you don't want to get it wrong, you can continue the conversation with John at thecoach.vip slash podcast. And I'll put that in our show notes. And it's a simple space where you can explore what's next. And if you feel ready, there's an invitation for a clarity conversation. Also, don't forget about John's book, Stop Leaving Life on the Table. It's available on Amazon and y'all, it's a practical, guided, grounded book that will help you move forward with clarity one step at a time. Thank you, John, for sitting with me at the counter today. I am so grateful for what you've shared, and I trust that it will bless those who are listening.

SPEAKER_02 38:18

Thank you, Laura. It's been great being here. Fun sitting at the counter, and I wish you the very, very best in all the people you're working with. Your show is fantastic, and and I know you're helping a lot of people to uh sort through some things. So thank you for doing what you do.

SPEAKER_01 38:34

Thank you. So, my friends, hear this blessing. May you be reminded your worth was never tied to how much you could carry. May the fog begin to lift, even if only a little. And may you trust that showing up even barely still matters more than you know. Thank you for sitting at the counter with me today. If something in this conversation stayed with you, you might want to carry it gently into your day. No need to rush past it. And if you need a place to pause, reflect, or simply breathe, you can find more at BakingPastor.com. Until next time, take a breath, notice what's in front of you, and remember you're always welcome here at the counter.