23 | When Some Things Never Fully Resolve with Rev. Rebecca Foster

Some questions don't have easy answers.

Some hurts don't disappear overnight.

Some chapters of life remain unfinished longer than we'd ever choose.

Today, Laura is joined by Rev. Rebecca Foster, an ordained minister with a background in chaplaincy and death care. Rebecca has walked closely with people through some of life's most tender moments, where questions don't always have answers and what people need most isn't someone to fix the situation, but someone willing to stay present.

In this gentle conversation, Laura and Rebecca explore what it means to live faithfully with the things we can't fix.

Together they discuss:

• Living with unanswered questions while trusting God
• Why presence is often more healing than having the right words
• What forgiveness really looks like (and what it doesn't)
• How to place unresolved situations into God's hands
• The "holy tension" of faith and suffering
• What people nearing the end of life say matters most
• Learning to let go without pretending the hurt never happened

If you've been carrying unresolved grief, broken trust, unanswered prayers, or questions that may never fully be answered this side of heaven, this conversation offers a gentle reminder:

You don't have to carry them alone.

Breath Prayer

Breathe in: I place it in Your hands.

Breathe out: You are holding me.

☕ Pull up a chair. There's room for your questions here.

Connect with Rebecca:

You can learn more about Rebecca and connect on threads at rev.rctfoster 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to At the Counter with the Baking Pastor. I'm Laura. Pull up a chair. There's no rush here. This season, we're sitting with the hard days. The ones that don't resolve quickly. The ones that change us in ways we we didn't ask for. Here at the counter, nothing needs to be fixed. You don't have to have the right words. You don't have to have it all figured out. You can just come as you are and stay a while. This is hard days at the counter. Pull up a chair. There are moments in life that don't have clear answers, no fix, no resolution, no way to make it all make sense. And if we're honest, those are often the moments we don't know what to do with. Today's conversation makes space for that. At the counter, I'm joined by the Reverend Rebecca Foster. Rebecca is an ordained minister with a background in chaplaincy and death care. She's walked closely with people in some of life's most tender and difficult moments, times when questions don't always have answers, and what's needed isn't fixing, but presence. Her work has taken her into spaces of grief, transition, and end-of-life care where she's learned what it looks like to sit with people and what they're caring, especially when it can't be resolved. Rebecca, my friend, I'm so glad you're here at the counter with us today.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Thank you so much for having me. I'm glad to be here.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

I'd like to begin with having you think: is there a moment in life where you recall not having clear answers?

SPEAKER_01 1:56

There's been quite a few moments in my life. I feel those are more common than we talk about, especially as Christians. I think sometimes we tend to try to overexplain or over-find reasons when we can't find them. If you look at the book of Job, God never told Job why he was suffering or any answers to his questions. He just said, Hey, I'm God. I'm in control of the universe, and I know things you couldn't possibly understand. So trust me. Whether I've been through a couple traumatic times in my life or grief, especially recently with my aunt passing away, and just so many things where in the moment I don't see why. Sometimes later I get them. But also sometimes I know I won't get an answer until Jesus comes back. And that's where I've learned faith really kicks in, where you have to be comfortable in the mystery of knowing that you serve a good God, that you might not have all the answers, but he does. You just have to trust him and keep going in those. Whether you see your dad being sick and you can't understand why such a good person has to go through that, or you were done wrongly and slandered or lied about, and it caused a lot of pain that you were left to deal with while everyone else moves on. But someone recently told me they heard from another pastor, so I can't claim this is mine. But he told this person, Joseph had to get to Egypt somehow. We can trust that God knows and has answers. And I'm sure Joseph had a lot of answers too, just like Job. And Joseph saw some answers, but I bet there were some things he didn't totally see. It's normal to go through those times of I don't know, but I know that God knows, and I can put that in his hands and trust him.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

I work with a lot of folks who've been through abuse and trauma or kind of a combination thereof. And they often ask, why did the abuse happen to me? Why was I traumatized? Why was that person taken from me? And why did God do this? Were they punishing? Why were they doing that? And I'm with you. You have faith that there is a plan, and this was the best outcome, even if we don't like it.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

C.S. Lewis, who said, I'm paraphrasing, and this is not totally accurate, but our question is not whether God will do what is best for us, but how much it'll hurt. But then sometimes you do get the answer. You can't look back and go, Oh, thank you God that happened that way. Now I see why. But then that might not come even for decades. Same with things like abuse or things like that. God is so not out to get us. He loves us so much. He's there to weep with us, even though he has the answers. He promised to never leave us nor forsake us. And that's something that I think can provide a lot of comfort, even in the midst of pain, and being able to hold that intention. That two things can be true at the same time. Of you can be questioning and having struggles. But at the same time, you can know that God is good and rest in him. That's one thing I've had to learn a lot in the work I do is being comfortable in the tension of the mystery of how that all works together.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

I totally appreciate being in the tension, having done chaplain work before, and then also sitting with people in really tough times. And it's challenging with what we do. As we think about people who don't have clear answers, what have you learned about what people are really caring in those spaces?

SPEAKER_01 5:30

I think a lot of times it's just presence. You there's a term also called like ministry of presence because I have, and I'm sure you have too in Chaplain C you're sitting with someone who got a diagnosis that's no good, that there's just not a good outcome, whatever way they go, they're facing that they're ready to go be with Jesus, but then they're worried about their loved ones and they don't want to leave them behind. And I think the first time I encountered that, I have to admit, I felt frustrated because I wanted to fix it. But there's no fixing grief. And sometimes there's no fixing emotions. It's just be willing to be present with them through that and walk through the valley of the shadow of death with them and just be a physical reminder that God is with them, even though we're definitely not God, but He definitely can show that love through us to people, like through us to other people, and just offering a free no-judgment zone because whatever emotions come up, people need to feel free to like express those, even if it's nothing you really react to.

SPEAKER_00 6:34

But ministry of presence is huge, and yes, I did it during chaplaincy and at the the three churches that I've served, the pastor, when they get that horrible diagnosis or someone dies is preparing to die, and they know the family's not ready. There's nothing you can do but just be there, be with them, love on them. One of the things you just said about being in the the valley of the the shadow. What I love is that you can't have light if there's not a shadow. If we take scripture that says there is a shadow, then in my mind there's light, and that light is is God. That's my favorite psalm ever.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

It's such a good one. And it also says his rod and his staff comfort. So you see there's comfort while they're still in the valley, that holy tension that's still present.

SPEAKER_00 7:26

I like the preparing feasts, being a baking person, a person who likes to bring food during those tough times. That's like, here's your mission, Laura. Cook, you bake, it's it's all good. You're helping prepare the place. I know you and I have both seen a number of things that people carry that don't really ever get resolved, even over time. What advice would you have for them?

SPEAKER_01 7:53

C.S. Lewis, who said it? It was Spirit. Anyway, but forgiveness has to begin again every day as if it wasn't done the day before. If someone's hurt you, it's easy for those feelings to come back up. Forgiveness does not mean excusing. That also is C.S. Lewis. It doesn't excuse what happened. It doesn't make it okay. It doesn't mean you necessarily have to reunite or reconcile with the people without true repentance. But in your heart, one of the things I found is I just inwardly visualized me giving that situation over to Jesus and letting it go. That's what forgiveness is. We don't carry a need for vengeance or anything like that. Like a need for justice, that's fine. That's holy and that's normal. But giving that outcome to God. And then whether it's not something with forgiveness, like natural disasters or accidents that happen or things of that nature, again, it's one of those things, especially in the West, it drives us crazy. We want to do scientific method, test result answers. We want to know every single little in and out. And it takes some work to be willing to let it go, but also at the same time not do it dismissively of someone's feelings that if it's not resolved, it is painful. We can hand that over and we can trust that whatever is not resolved will one day be resolved. When I when Christ returns and brings healing to the whole earth, he will resolve everything, he will bring light and justice to everything. We just have to wait. And that's hard because I'm impatient sometimes, so I get it.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

Because a culture, we are impatient. I mean, I see people who can't wait two and a half minutes for popcorn in the microwave, who can't even wait 30 seconds for that um TikTok video to be over. It's it in a TV show. You've got 30 minutes, including commercials, to have the show show the problem and fix it. That's not real life though, but we we are impatient. So you mentioned giving it to God, and I have clients who say that they've given stuff. Yes, I'm using air quotes, folks. They have given stuff to God. Only halfway back down from the altar, they reach and grab it and take hold of it again.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

Can you share your version of giving it to him? What happens? I tell him when you give it to him, it dissolves. It's not yours to take anymore.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

I do quote a lot. Quote Martin Luther. Anything I have held in my hands, I've lost, but anything I have placed in his hands that I still possess, which is so interesting when you think of like you're letting it go. You're full you it's gone, but it's gone in a way that you trust who's gonna handle it. And you trust that there will be justice and light in the end. Like I said, I'm just such a visual person. And this came from um a friend of mine about how sometimes you have to take that breath in silence, and you can tell God, like, hey, I'm really having trouble letting this go. You could visualize placing it in God's hands and then really stepping back and then opening your eyes and being like, hey, it's in his hands. I'm not gonna deal with it anymore. And sometimes you have to keep putting it there, but eventually it gets easier. And a lot of that also has to go with forgiveness as well, of whatever outcome, wanting answers, wanting to see retribution, wanting to be righted, all of that. You put it in his hands and you trust that he knows the best time for it to happen because we don't, even though we like to think we do. And whenever we're tempted to grab it again, just take that moment, take a breath. Lord, keep that in your hands. It's don't let me take it back. And also do grounding or put your mind onto something else, read scripture, listen to worship music. So you're not falling into that, just thinking on it over and over and over again. And it's good to train your brain to then put it on something positive, not dismiss it or shove it down, work it out with a counselor therapist, too. God gives us ways and tools and people that are blessed and gifted to help us be able to sometimes let it go. Like God will send those people in our lives and to help us be able to give it to Him.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

Have you seen moments where something relational like broken trust or hurt is still present near the end of life? And if so, what does that look like? I have definitely seen it.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

You can be in a room where someone is actively dying, which means they got about maybe hours to a day, and you have family everywhere. Everyone's talking about how wonderful of a person that this person is, and then you will see that there are some people in the room that are not sharing the same sentiment and they had their own interaction with that person that was not pleasant. Both can be valid, some people can have had a wonderful relationship, but at the same time, other people can still have really been hurt and not had that resolution and not had that come to Jesus meeting with them, or um, been able to work that out with them for whatever reason. Maybe it wasn't a safe conversation to have, maybe they were shamed into silence by something horrible. Maybe they were too young to understand how bad it was and it's hitting them later as they're an adult. It definitely happens and it's more common than people think it is. And grief, even anticipatory grief, which is when you're having grief before the actual final passing happens, can bring up all sorts of things. And you may be surprised what it brings up. I've seen people when they're passing away, they have gotten no contact with some family members. Well, rather, their family members have gotten no contact with them and they want them to come so they can reconcile with them. But the other family member may be willing and they may not be. And that still is to be respected because that is boundaries, but you can also help that person maybe write a letter that you could give to the other person and they can choose whether if they want to read it or not. But relational dysfunction really comes out in grief and death, it brings it straight to the forefront. I've done work within funeral homes too, and uh definitely have seen some interesting dynamics play out in those types of situations.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

Death totally brings out oftentimes a not so nice side of some people. Very much, unfortunately. Much of our instinct is to try to help, to fix, to say the right thing. What does that actually look like to sit with someone when they're carrying things that can't be fixed?

SPEAKER_02 14:55

It's so hard.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

You have to be very self-aware because our natural inclination is we want to fix it, you know, want to take pain away from somebody, or maybe their pain is making you uncomfortable, and so you want to silence it and not deal with it. So when we tend to want to bring up fixing it, quote unquote, it is a very hard discipline, but it's one of those where you have to keep checking yourself and being curious, why do I want to say this? Where is this coming from? Why am I one of the biggest things is people get so uncomfortable in silence? Like someone might be sitting there grieving and they just need you to be present, but just have silence. And I think in such a fast-paced world, we don't like silence because then we start overthinking. But be curious with yourself, ask why certain emotions are coming up.

SPEAKER_00 15:50

Rebecca's laughing because we just got joined at the counter by Sassy.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

Hi, Sassy. But in the midst of those moments, just be curious about yourself and what it's bringing up in you. Why do I need to fix this? We tend to want to go into cliches of and everything happens for a reason. God brings all things together for good, those who love. And again, we have hope and we believe that God will bring everything together for good and he will win in the end. But at the same time, we can hold that tension of, you know what, this situation is really hard right now. And maybe it just needs to be hard right now. And allow that Jesus is with you when times are just hard right now. Sometimes it's like he's the one that's still there, even if he's silent. But that doesn't mean he isn't there. And it's normal to have those human emotions. It doesn't mean you have less faith, it doesn't mean you have less hope. It means you are perfectly human and it's okay to sit with those complicated emotions and just bring them. Go read the Psalms. There's plenty of times like David says stuff that's like, What are you doing? Or Jeremiah. There's some stuff that's I would argue about heretical, but he's honest in his prayer to God and he trusts that he can go to him and God's big enough to take it.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

Emotions are hard, and some people think that by having emotions they're weak, or someone will think less of them, or that they've they've got pain. But a lot of us feel the pressure to have the right words. But there are moments when words don't really touch what's happening, and maybe that's what people need most is not an answer, but someone who's just willing to stay and and be present with them a person's going through that you see and you acknowledge they are having a hard time, and them hearing the validation of yes, this is hard.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

That it sometimes goes way further than you think it would.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

Let's take a moment and pause and we can take a slow breath in and let it out gently and ask yourself is there something I've been trying to fix that might just need to be held, not solve, not rush, just acknowledge. You've mentioned forgiveness a few times. What have you learned about forgiveness, especially in situations where it doesn't come quite easily?

SPEAKER_01 18:20

I think the biggest thing I had to learn forgiveness does not mean that you forget whatever what happened. Sometimes it can't, and sometimes you're not supposed to, because you know, if you were wronged, that's a warning sign to be careful next time. Even though sometimes we're human and we're not always perfect in how we handle everything. Forgiveness is very commonly struggled with more than we like to talk about because Christians we're like people of forgiveness. We acknowledge that God has forgiven us of so many things. How could we not forgive them? And there is truth in that. Also, forgiveness is a practice that we have to continuously do, and we have to ask God to help us. And to be honest, that's something I still definitely struggle with and work on. About anybody, if you were honest, they would say there's something they're struggling to forgive. But it's okay to struggle with it because at least you're working on it, and it's for your benefit. You can have a posture ready to reconcile if you see true repentance from the other person. Also, forgiveness means that you weren't perfect in that situation either. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself because sometimes you did the best you could with what you knew at the time, and then you look back and you're like, oh, I could have done so much differently. And one of the main people we struggle to forgive is ourselves and have grace with ourselves. You could have been wronged, and then it can haunt you how you see that you didn't handle it perfectly either. And that takes so much work and it's so uncomfortable because I feel it's almost easier just to focus on what the other person did. But it's okay to also forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know. Maybe you trusted the wrong person where you made a decision that wasn't the best. Just forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know and move on and do better next time. And even if you don't, forgive yourself again. Being human's hard. Like sometimes it takes multiple times. I think there's just so much that we hold in common as people that we don't talk about. And that's one of them is how much we hold on to not forgiving ourselves. And it turns into this need for self-preservation in the future. You're not gonna do everything perfect. Jesus factored that in when he died on the cross. Whatever you did won't make God love you any less. And whatever the other person did, this isn't fun, but it's true, whatever the other person did, that doesn't make God love them any less either. And that is really hard to hear sometimes because but I've had to learn forgiveness doesn't make the situation right. It doesn't mean it was completely perfectly handled on either side. It means that whatever outcome needs to come of that, and whatever justice or clarification or anything that needs to be done, you just place it for God to handle and trust that he will. And you have to keep training yourself to trust that he will and not trying to reach back and grab it because we don't know better. Thank God he's God and I'm not.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

True, true, true. You said whether or not a person is repentant. What if the person who harmed you or needs forgiveness is no longer in your life either because they have passed away, they're now incarcerated, or you have put boundaries up and they're no longer around. What advice would you give on that for forgiveness?

SPEAKER_01 21:58

Uh it's still that thing of releasing. It, which is so hard to it just takes time. Acknowledge that it takes time. Acknowledge that it's hard. Just be willing to struggle, like Jacob. Wrestle with God over it. It's he's like I said, he's big enough to take our emotions. He knows every one of them anyway. So you might as well be open about it. And he's gonna love you through all of it. And see if you can find ways that work for you. Maybe speak to a pastor, counselor, therapist of ways that you can place that in God's hand. I've heard of some people they will write the offense in the sand at the beach and let the wave take it. And there's something about physically doing an action that helps write it on a piece of paper and burn it safely. Sit in prayer and meditation where you talk to God or where you just hash out everything to God about it and allow yourself to feel and cry. It's one of those holy tensions where we don't know how it's gonna work out in the end. And that can be very frustrating and hard. But we can give it to the Lord, knowing that when he returns and sets everything right, he'll make it right. I forget who said this. Either God will bring judgment on them, and that's scary, or he'll forgive them, like he's forgiven you, and you kind of hold it like that. I just want to validate though, through that it's hard when you can't speak to that person, or even if you did, even if you aired out everything and they were did not care, or they could not respond, or whatever it was. Forgiveness has to come from your spirit and your your path with God and something within you. It's not vested in this other person that has harmed you. It is something God has given us the power to do ourselves with the help of his Holy Spirit. I think that's what it also means of why we have that idea of giving it to him, because we have God within us to give it to. And that helps a lot to release it. Because Christ did the ultimate forgiveness. But I still want to validate that yes, it is hard. So don't hear me be dismissive of the struggle because I struggle. But forgiveness is something that comes from us, it doesn't rely on the other person. Reconciliation, part of it does, because it takes two to reconcile, but it takes one to forgive.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

When someone is nearing the end of life, what tends to matter most in those moments, especially things people didn't expect?

SPEAKER_01 24:43

Goodness gracious, there's so many ways to go with this. What's what normally happens a couple months to a couple weeks before you pass away, your world gets smaller and smaller and smaller of who you let in. You don't want as many people around. You I firmly believe it gets down to where it's you and God working out whatever you need to, reflecting on the fact because people know that it's coming. Whether family wants to accept it or not, they know. And every time I've sat with someone who's facing the end of life, they reflect on their relationship with God, and they reflect on their family and those that they love the most. Some people will struggle with did I do everything God called me to do? And that it's such a time that you I have not yet seen selfishness toward that time because you're looking at your place in the grand plan of the whole universe. And what matters is not how big your car is, not how big your house is, not how many things you have, but how much you have loved, how much you have loved people, how much you have loved God, how much you have loved others, and trusting that God will have you and what comes next. Typically, what matters most to them is they want prayers. That's been a big thing when I've been with people. They want you to pray for them or read their favorite scripture to them. And sometimes, and I want to reiterate this is so normal, and it's kind of interesting because it tends to happen more with mothers. Family could be with somebody 24-7. The second they step out and they leave that person alone for like 10 seconds, they come back in and they passed. And that's also considered that sometimes people want to be alone, and that's okay. And sometimes, and especially the reason I noted that it happens a lot with mothers is sometimes it's considered a last act of love that you didn't have to be there when they passed. That doesn't mean that everyone that wanted you there when they did pass thought otherwise, but you are still you, and you are still there's something in us that still thinks of others and this community and relational as well as going to be with the Lord and what that's like, and people talking about how they're ready to see loved ones as well that have passed on. I've never heard people start delling out who gets what when they're really close to death. It's always been such a focus on scripture, prayer, and just being with those that they love.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

Have you noticed anything about how people hold both love and regret in the same space? And what does that teach us about being human?

SPEAKER_01 27:50

I think a lot of regret comes from love. I've always said you could have done everything perfect as a caregiver, and you will still find something to regret. And also that doesn't mean that there is a perfect caregiver, because there most certainly is not. There's always things that you get tired and you missed, or maybe you lost your temper, or maybe you got frustrated, or whatever it is. Caregiving is such a difficult thing to do if you've never been in it. And maybe you're going through grief that you didn't have to be a caregiver. Maybe it was sudden and then you regret not going and saying something to them that you issued. And I I think there's so much of love is mixed in with that regret. I think there is some accepting that forgiveness of yourself. You didn't know if it was a death that was a surprise, you didn't know that was gonna happen. And you have to hold forgiveness for yourself. If you didn't do everything perfect, caring for him at the end, you're human, but you did what you could at the time with the energy that you had and the resources you had. As my mom always said, you did the best you could with what you had at the time. And that includes our energy, our mental levels, our stress, our physical resources, whatever that is. A lot of regret does come from a place of love. But at the same time, because of love, we should hold that as there comes a point where you have to hit acceptance of I didn't handle everything perfectly. But I'm not their god, and where I fall short, he will not fall short of them.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

I think your mom is a very wise person. Thank you, I do too. For someone listening who feels like they're carrying something unresolved. What does it look like to live with that without feeling like they're failing?

SPEAKER_02 29:46

There's so much complexity in that because a lot of it would depend on whatever is unresolved.

SPEAKER_01 29:53

One having things unresolved in life. Everybody has it in some form or another. It could be you don't know why. It could be as simple as you don't know why that bully took your candy on playground when you were little, and you'll never know. But like everybody has had something happen in their life that is just unresolved, that you can't find the ending answer to. And I normalizing that shows that it's not failure, it's part of life. If there, if there are things you think you can do to resolve it, sit down, of course, again, therapist, counselor, mentor, whoever, work out what that looks like. I wouldn't just jump into doing anything because it's good to bounce ideas and it's okay. If you have to hold it without it being resolved, again, it's one of those beautiful tensions of we have hope and it will be. Not yet. And hope the Christian is not wishful thinking. It's looking to the promise that God has where everything will be made whole again. It's knowing God promised it will happen. Because I think we tend to put hope in the terms of wishful thinking. Oh, I hope it doesn't rain today. That's not the same as Christian hope. It's okay to be frustrated that things are unresolved. It's okay to have regular emotions that things are hanging in the balance and you don't have the answers. Again, check out the Psalms, check out scripture, happens everywhere. There's so many things that have not been resolved, but we do see that the all-knowing God has that in mind. And he'll make it right and he will wrap it up the way it needs to be. You just have to let go of that need to control it in the way we think it needs to be.

SPEAKER_00 31:43

Control is definitely a a challenge for a lot of people, especially if they're dealing with unforgiveness, that that becomes even stronger.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

Some of that does come from wanting to protect yourself, but who do you want protecting you, the god of the universe or yourself? I'd prefer to have God.

SPEAKER_00 32:03

That doesn't mean, of course, you can't defend yourself and do things, but when it comes to the area of this with forgiveness and wanting control, that's one where you place it that let him defend you, let him fight for you, and you just be still definitely if you could sit across from someone who feels like there are things in their life that will never fully be resolved, Rebecca. What would you want them to know?

SPEAKER_02 32:44

I would first validate how they feel, whatever it is.

SPEAKER_01 32:47

There could be a range of emotions. I think that's a good place to always start is to validate someone's feelings. Because a lot of times when things aren't resolved, we get our feelings so invalidated.

SPEAKER_02 33:01

It is valid to feel mad, sad, upset, frustrated, scared, all those things. And just acknowledge that's a lot of weight to carry, and that is very hard to deal with.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

I don't have all the answers. No one does, but we know who does, and I know that sometimes that can feel frustrating because it goes back to the whole thing of we can't fix it, there's no fixing it right now.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

So just keep going to God with it. Um that he gets you.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

I'm gonna again quote a line from a Ren Collective song, he's closer than our very heartbeats. And he's present in the midst of that frustration and struggle. And also, if it's something that cannot be resolved in this world, I would encourage them to not spend all their time ruminating on it. They have so many, each and every person is so uniquely made and gifted and crafted by God to do so much good in this world and sitting around ruminating on things that will not have resolution this side of heaven. It's sad to waste your time and talent on that. I know I've certainly done too much of that in my life, so I am not throwing stones, but shift your focus then on serving God and people, loving God and people. On all this hangs the law and prophets, to quote Jesus. So because if we allow ourselves to get trapped into that struggle, we won't move on and focus on what really is gonna matter in light of eternity. Again, doesn't mean it didn't happen, doesn't mean you shove it down and pretend like your emotions don't matter. You can gently acknowledge them when they come and you can gently watch them pass on and put your focus in doing what God made you to do, and it's not sitting around with regret and rumination and unforgiveness. He made you for so much more than that.

SPEAKER_00 35:19

If today's conversation resonated with you, or there's something you want to know more about Rebecca, you can check her out on threads at rev rctfoster. I'll put the link in the show notes. Rebecca, thank you so much for joining us today.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

Thank you so much for having me. It's been a joy and a pleasure and an honor.

SPEAKER_00 35:41

Not everything in life gets tied up neatly, not every relationship finds closure, not every question gets answered, but that doesn't mean those spaces are empty. Sometimes they're the places where presence matters most, where love stays, where grace holds, where we learn what it means to simply be with one another. My friends, hear this blessing. May you release the need to have every answer. May you find peace in the spaces that remain unfinished, and may you know that even there you are not alone. Until next time at the counter. Thank you for sitting at the counter with me today. If something in this conversation stayed with you, you might want to carry it gently into your day. No need to rush past it. And if you need a place to pause, reflect, or simply breathe. You can find more at BakingPastor.com. Until next time, take a breath, notice what's in front of you, and remember you're always welcome here at the counter.