WEBVTT 00:00:20.960 --> 00:00:24.239 Please stand for this reading of God's holy man apart. 00:00:28.399 --> 00:00:36.159 And Jacob lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, Esau was coming, four hundred men with him. 00:00:36.399 --> 00:00:49.600 So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two female servants, and he put the servants with their children in front, then Leah with her children, and Rachel and Joseph, last of all. 00:00:49.920 --> 00:00:58.159 He himself went on before them, bowing himself to the ground seven times until he came nearer to his brother. 00:00:58.399 --> 00:01:04.640 But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. 00:01:04.959 --> 00:01:11.760 And when Esau lifted up his eyes and saw the woman and children, he said, Who are these with you? 00:01:12.079 --> 00:01:16.640 Jacob said, The children whom God has graciously given your servant. 00:01:17.120 --> 00:01:22.560 Then the servants drew near and they and their children and bowed down. 00:01:22.959 --> 00:01:27.359 Leah likewise and her children drew near and bowed down. 00:01:27.760 --> 00:01:31.200 And last Joseph and Rachel drew near and they bowed down. 00:01:31.439 --> 00:01:35.680 Esau said, What do you mean by all this company that I met? 00:01:36.319 --> 00:01:40.159 Shacob answered, To find favor in the sight of my Lord. 00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:43.680 But Esau said, I have enough, my brother. 00:01:43.920 --> 00:01:46.239 Keep what you have for yourself. 00:01:46.560 --> 00:01:53.840 Jacob said, No, please, if I found favor in your sight, then accept my present from my hand. 00:01:54.239 --> 00:02:00.959 For I have seen your face, which is like seeing the face of God, and you have accepted me. 00:02:01.200 --> 00:02:09.360 Please accept my blessing that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough. 00:02:09.680 --> 00:02:12.639 Thus he urged him, and he took it. 00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:18.240 Then Esau said, Let us journey on our way, and I will go ahead of you. 00:02:18.479 --> 00:02:26.080 But Jacob said to him, My Lord knows that the children are frail, and that the nursing flocks and herds are of care to me. 00:02:26.400 --> 00:02:30.080 If they are driven hard for one day, all the flocks will die. 00:02:30.479 --> 00:02:42.960 Let my Lord pass on ahead of his servant, and I will lead on slowly, at the pace of the livestock that are ahead of me, and at the pace of the children, until I come to my Lord in Seir. 00:02:43.599 --> 00:02:49.360 So Esau said, Let me leave with you some of the people who are with me. 00:02:49.599 --> 00:02:52.000 But he said, What need is there? 00:02:52.400 --> 00:02:54.960 Let me find favor in the sight of my Lord. 00:02:55.199 --> 00:02:58.879 So Esau returned that way on his way to Seir. 00:02:59.120 --> 00:03:05.759 But Jacob journeyed to Sakat and built himself a house and made booths for his livestock. 00:03:05.919 --> 00:03:08.879 Therefore the name of this place is called Sakat. 00:03:09.439 --> 00:03:19.199 And Jacob came safely to the city of Seshem, and it is the land of Canaan, and on his way to Patan Aram, and he camped before the city. 00:03:19.439 --> 00:03:29.840 And from the sons of Hamor, Sethem's father, he brought a hundred pieces of money, the land, the piece of land on which he had pitched this tent. 00:03:30.080 --> 00:03:34.639 There he erected an altar called Elohe Israel. 00:03:37.520 --> 00:03:39.199 This is the word of the Lord. 00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:20.480 The voice says, cry, and I say, What shall I cry? 00:04:22.639 --> 00:04:29.279 All flesh is grass, and all its beauty is like the flower of the field. 00:04:30.160 --> 00:04:35.920 The grass withers, the flower fades, when the breath of the Lord blows on it. 00:04:36.480 --> 00:04:38.560 Surely the people are grass. 00:04:39.120 --> 00:04:46.399 The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever. 00:04:47.360 --> 00:04:49.120 Father, we come before your word. 00:04:51.279 --> 00:04:54.319 A lamp before our feet and a light before our path. 00:04:55.839 --> 00:04:59.360 Teach us what you want us to learn. 00:05:03.040 --> 00:05:08.000 Some things in this passage, Genesis 33, that are familiar to many of us. 00:05:09.839 --> 00:05:11.199 Give us insight. 00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:13.839 We pray your Holy Spirit will come. 00:05:15.680 --> 00:05:17.519 Don't go to sleep here and change. 00:05:19.040 --> 00:05:20.240 In Jesus' name. 00:05:21.199 --> 00:05:21.519 Amen. 00:05:21.920 --> 00:05:26.240 We want to start off this morning by asking you a simple question. 00:05:27.120 --> 00:05:28.000 You ready? 00:05:29.120 --> 00:05:33.279 What is your biggest fear in life right now? 00:05:33.759 --> 00:05:37.439 What is your biggest fear in life right now? 00:05:40.560 --> 00:05:47.199 And you just do a quick Google search online and you'll find people answering this question in all sorts of different ways. 00:05:47.519 --> 00:05:55.040 Found this article that lists out 65 different answers from people all over the world. 00:05:55.120 --> 00:05:57.120 I just want to just listen to some of the answers. 00:05:57.279 --> 00:05:59.360 This is Annie from India. 00:05:59.920 --> 00:06:05.680 She writes, My greatest fear is that I will die alone. 00:06:06.720 --> 00:06:12.160 Steve from Australia, not being successful financially. 00:06:13.040 --> 00:06:19.519 Sarah from the US, my biggest fear is being left out, abandoned, or ignored. 00:06:20.800 --> 00:06:24.720 Lena from Sweden, death. 00:06:25.920 --> 00:06:28.399 That I or someone in my family will die. 00:06:29.360 --> 00:06:33.439 To lose control over the most important thing we have, which is fire. 00:06:34.480 --> 00:06:43.199 Sophia from Sweden writes, My greatest fear is that I'll one day realize that I live my life not to be what makes me happy. 00:06:44.240 --> 00:06:46.079 Laura from Italy. 00:06:46.319 --> 00:06:52.079 My greatest fear is that I won't have enough money to support myself and retire eventually. 00:06:54.160 --> 00:06:56.879 Just relax because I think this guy's judging here. 00:06:57.279 --> 00:06:59.199 Rain from the US. 00:06:59.680 --> 00:07:06.240 I dread the call from my high school that there was a clerical error and I need to take finals and pull over again. 00:07:06.800 --> 00:07:09.120 I think that was his biggest fear. 00:07:09.199 --> 00:07:10.240 I think that was dope. 00:07:11.519 --> 00:07:14.000 So, what's your biggest fear in life right now? 00:07:14.160 --> 00:07:18.639 That's the question I want to say that's simmered in your mind. 00:07:18.879 --> 00:07:20.319 How would you answer that? 00:07:20.720 --> 00:07:24.240 I know it takes a lot of vulnerability to answer a question like that. 00:07:25.519 --> 00:07:38.879 And I asked this question mainly because the issue of fear, the emotion of fear is the main emotion that our main character in the story of Genesis, right now, where we are in Genesis 33, is feeling. 00:07:48.319 --> 00:07:52.399 Because he's about to meet him face to face and he doesn't know what he's gonna do. 00:07:53.680 --> 00:07:57.040 He doesn't know what Esau's gone through the past 20 years. 00:07:58.160 --> 00:08:09.120 For all he knows, Esau, when he meets him face to face, still very much wants to kill him for stealing his firstborn lessons. 00:08:13.439 --> 00:08:17.920 It's a raw emotion, and it's an experience that each of us face from time to time. 00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:20.480 It's a normal part of things we know. 00:08:22.560 --> 00:08:30.160 I think the question that really matters is not just what our biggest fears are, but what we do with those fears. 00:08:30.639 --> 00:08:32.559 How do we handle these fears? 00:08:32.799 --> 00:08:34.559 That's what really matters. 00:08:34.960 --> 00:08:36.799 That's what matters to God. 00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:39.039 And that's what should matter to us. 00:08:39.279 --> 00:08:47.919 And so what we're about to see here in this next chapter, as we've been walking through the book of Genesis, is what Jacob does with his fears. 00:08:49.039 --> 00:08:54.799 And like the Bible says in Romans 15, everything that was written in the past was written to teach us. 00:08:55.279 --> 00:09:02.320 So that through the endurance taught in scriptures and the encouragement they provide, we might have hope. 00:09:03.279 --> 00:09:07.519 In other words, I think we have much to learn from Jacob here in this story. 00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:15.039 In this next scene, Jacob reunites with his long-lost brother and he helps us answer this all-important question. 00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:21.360 How do you handle moments in life when you have to face your biggest fears? 00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:27.440 How do you handle moments in life when you have to face your biggest fears? 00:09:27.519 --> 00:09:29.440 That's what Jacob is doing right now. 00:09:29.600 --> 00:09:33.360 He's facing one of his biggest fears in life. 00:09:34.159 --> 00:09:36.480 He's never been in a place like this in my life. 00:09:36.879 --> 00:09:41.600 So I want to invite you to turn back with me to the book of Genesis, chapter 33. 00:09:42.480 --> 00:09:46.879 We're going to go through the 20 verses here, Genesis chapter 20, 33. 00:09:48.879 --> 00:09:57.440 And again, the question is: how do we go about handling moments in life where we are forced to face life's biggest fears? 00:09:58.960 --> 00:10:08.559 And the first thing I see from this story of Jacob in this moment in his life is this pray first about those fears. 00:10:09.919 --> 00:10:15.200 And then take your next steps in confidence in God. 00:10:18.159 --> 00:10:24.480 What I want you to notice here as we get started is that the Bible's like a good movie, is building up some tension. 00:10:25.600 --> 00:10:27.120 Some real tension here. 00:10:27.279 --> 00:10:33.519 You see, Jacob is heading back from his Uncle Laban's house, where he's been the past 20 years. 00:10:33.600 --> 00:10:35.039 He's a much wealthier man now. 00:10:35.200 --> 00:10:37.519 He's acquired many livestock. 00:10:37.600 --> 00:10:40.399 He's got two wives and two ladies. 00:10:40.960 --> 00:10:42.720 He's had children, all four of them. 00:10:42.960 --> 00:10:44.399 He's got a bunch of kids. 00:10:44.559 --> 00:10:49.840 And he heads back to the land of Canaan, the place where he grew up and came of age. 00:10:50.559 --> 00:10:53.519 And somehow, Jacob instinctively knows. 00:10:54.799 --> 00:10:56.720 He's got some business left. 00:10:58.399 --> 00:11:05.919 Somehow, instinctively, he knows as he headed back to the land of Canaan, he's still got to face his brother. 00:11:06.879 --> 00:11:09.600 And the Bible doesn't exactly tell us why. 00:11:09.679 --> 00:11:16.320 You see, theoretically, he could totally have skirted the issue and headed back to Canaan without meeting his brother. 00:11:16.480 --> 00:11:17.360 He could have. 00:11:18.320 --> 00:11:20.799 I got this map on the screen. 00:11:22.320 --> 00:11:27.039 He spent 20 years with his uncle Laban in Haran in the north. 00:11:27.440 --> 00:11:33.120 He's heading back to Canaan in the circle there, modern-day Israel. 00:11:33.919 --> 00:11:39.519 So theoretically, he could have skipped over where his brother was in the land of Seir, otherwise known as Edom. 00:11:39.759 --> 00:11:40.480 You see that? 00:11:40.720 --> 00:11:47.679 He could have kind of just didn't tell his brother, didn't send messengers, but he did. 00:11:49.679 --> 00:11:59.679 And as he wakes his way towards Canaan, there's this juncture where he comes closer and closer and closer to where his brother lives in Edom. 00:12:01.120 --> 00:12:10.320 And when Jacob hears that his brother Esau is coming to meet him, and there are 400 men with him, Jacob goes into fight or flight mode, really. 00:12:11.919 --> 00:12:17.120 And uh if you remember from last week, he can't really fly, flee. 00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:18.240 He's got a limp. 00:12:18.399 --> 00:12:20.240 He can't go anywhere. 00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:25.120 And you'll see Esau's path comes north. 00:12:25.279 --> 00:12:30.000 There's this pink line that shows Esau's path to the north with his 400 men. 00:12:30.559 --> 00:12:32.240 He's gonna meet his brother. 00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:34.799 And we have no idea what's on his mind. 00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:38.000 The Bible's building tension. 00:12:39.200 --> 00:12:55.120 The stress of having to meet a long-lost brother who has no idea what's gonna happen next, leads Jacob to do the one thing every single one of us needs to do when we first face life's biggest fear. 00:12:56.559 --> 00:12:58.159 And that's the praying. 00:12:58.879 --> 00:13:00.159 That's the praying. 00:13:00.399 --> 00:13:11.519 32, Genesis 32, the Bible tells us Jacob, in the moment of his raw humility, his deepest vulnerable moment in life, he prays. 00:13:13.200 --> 00:13:14.720 You think about Jacob? 00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:30.000 Proud, arrogant, young, he was first grown up in his father's home, steals his brother's blessings, his steals away his brother's birthright. 00:13:32.240 --> 00:13:42.559 And in this moment of walking million, he prays in Genesis 32 please deliver me, God, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I fear him. 00:13:43.120 --> 00:13:44.080 Here's that word. 00:13:44.960 --> 00:13:51.039 I fear him, that he may come and attack me, the mothers with the children. 00:13:52.799 --> 00:13:55.759 Jacob was fearing for his life. 00:13:56.639 --> 00:13:58.320 He was fearing for his life. 00:13:58.480 --> 00:14:02.960 He knows that it's not above his brother to meet him and kill him on the spot. 00:14:03.840 --> 00:14:05.600 That's what he was fearing. 00:14:06.320 --> 00:14:08.879 But then listen to how Jacob closes that prayer. 00:14:09.039 --> 00:14:13.679 He reminds God of what God himself had promised him long ago. 00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:25.679 Genesis 32, 12 says, that he says to God, But you said, I will surely do you good and make your offspring as the sand of the sea, which can't be numbered for multitude. 00:14:26.080 --> 00:14:28.159 And it's true, Genesis 28. 00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:40.879 Before Jacob left to come for Haran, Jacob was still single, had no family, no kids, but God at that moment promised to Jacob that his offspring would be like the dust of the earth. 00:14:41.120 --> 00:14:50.080 And that they had spread abroad to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south, and in him and his offspring, all the families of the earth shall be blessed. 00:14:51.840 --> 00:15:00.720 And so in Jacob's mind, he's wondering, how in the world is God going to keep that promise to me if my brother Esau comes and meets with me with 400 men and kills us? 00:15:02.639 --> 00:15:04.480 He can't meet that promise. 00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:12.000 In other words, Jacob is saying to God, My brother comes to kill me. 00:15:13.039 --> 00:15:15.039 How are you going to stay true to your word? 00:15:16.240 --> 00:15:18.639 How are you going to keep your promises? 00:15:20.559 --> 00:15:21.840 So don't let him kill me. 00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:23.279 Don't let him kill us. 00:15:23.600 --> 00:15:25.200 Keep your word. 00:15:28.720 --> 00:15:43.039 What I want you to see here, and what's so instructive for us, is that Jacob responds to his deepest fears in life in this moment, in this scene, of dying and losing everything he's built up for himself in the past 20 years. 00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:45.600 He goes to the Lord in prayer. 00:15:47.279 --> 00:15:48.559 He goes to the Lord in prayer. 00:15:48.639 --> 00:15:53.440 And then he takes his next steps in the faith. 00:15:53.679 --> 00:16:02.399 He just takes whatever next steps he can think of in front of him, and he steps forward one step at a time, one step at a time. 00:16:02.480 --> 00:16:03.279 And he sees that. 00:16:03.679 --> 00:16:04.159 You see that. 00:16:04.320 --> 00:16:05.600 So that's important too. 00:16:05.679 --> 00:16:09.919 We see a man who doesn't just sit by and pray and idly let things go by. 00:16:10.080 --> 00:16:21.840 No, what we see here is a man who, after praying from the bottom of his heart, he starts to move forward in full confidence that the God he is just praying to is in charge of the situation. 00:16:21.919 --> 00:16:23.759 He's in charge of the outcome. 00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:28.480 And his hand is with him, for better or worse. 00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:34.159 See, I'm not saying that Jacob is suddenly free from his fear. 00:16:34.240 --> 00:16:35.679 That's not what I'm saying. 00:16:36.080 --> 00:16:46.639 You see, there's still some fear in him because he, if you read on, he decides, this is again from last week, so a bit of a review, but and some fear is still in him because he sends on some animals. 00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:50.799 If you remember from last week, he sends on some animals as a gift to his brother. 00:16:50.960 --> 00:16:52.320 Kind of like a Christian. 00:16:52.559 --> 00:16:55.679 Like, just take these gifts, brother. 00:16:56.240 --> 00:16:57.360 They're for you. 00:16:57.679 --> 00:17:02.720 So kind of take some edge off whatever anger is left over 20 years. 00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:08.000 But something different happens at the beginning of chapter 33. 00:17:08.559 --> 00:17:12.720 We see Jacob acting with a newfound sense of confidence. 00:17:13.440 --> 00:17:14.559 And I want you to miss that. 00:17:14.640 --> 00:17:17.119 So look there, look there with me, verse 1. 00:17:19.759 --> 00:17:23.920 And Jacob lifted up his eyes and looked. 00:17:24.480 --> 00:17:29.200 And behold, Esau was coming, and 400 men with him. 00:17:29.680 --> 00:17:37.359 So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two female servants, and he put the servants with their children in front. 00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:43.119 Then Leah with her children, and Rachel and Joseph last of all. 00:17:43.839 --> 00:17:44.880 And get this. 00:17:45.119 --> 00:17:55.759 He himself went on before them, bowing himself to the ground seven times until he came near to his brother. 00:17:56.319 --> 00:17:59.759 At first he sends this cushion of gifts, right? 00:18:00.079 --> 00:18:02.000 He's a little bit afraid still. 00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:09.920 And in this moment, he puts his loved ones behind him and he sets his foot first to meet his brother. 00:18:10.319 --> 00:18:13.039 He's the cushion for his loved ones. 00:18:17.200 --> 00:18:22.880 And don't forget that this is a man who God just literally dislocated his hip. 00:18:24.160 --> 00:18:28.240 You know what happens when you have a hip dislocated. 00:18:28.400 --> 00:18:43.279 What can happen is not only intense, horrific pain when your joint gets out of place on your hip, you have muscle spasms, you can't really move your leg, you can barely wear bare weight on it. 00:18:43.519 --> 00:18:49.359 And so it shouldn't be lost on us that Jacob's bowing down seven times. 00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:51.519 How painful would that be? 00:18:52.880 --> 00:18:55.440 He's getting down on the ground, bowing down seven times. 00:18:55.680 --> 00:18:56.960 Unimaginable pain. 00:18:57.200 --> 00:18:58.720 But he doesn't. 00:18:59.440 --> 00:19:06.960 And it's in this moment of incredible pain and weakness and vulnerability, Jacob puts himself completely into the hands of God. 00:19:08.319 --> 00:19:13.279 And what I see in Jacob doing all this right before he meets his brother. 00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:23.519 Humble confidence. 00:19:24.079 --> 00:19:29.200 You see, there's a kind of confidence that comes when you know that God has heard your prayer. 00:19:29.359 --> 00:19:40.559 It doesn't mean that you know exactly what he's going to do with your prayer, but there's a kind of humble confidence that comes when you know that he's heard that he's about to act on your behalf. 00:19:46.400 --> 00:19:48.880 And I think that's exactly what Jacob is at this moment. 00:19:49.119 --> 00:19:57.759 And so my point is that we learn from Jacob in this point in the story how to handle our deepest fears in life. 00:19:57.920 --> 00:19:59.440 And that's to pray first. 00:19:59.920 --> 00:20:00.720 You pray. 00:20:00.960 --> 00:20:03.759 You give the fear, whatever that is, to the Lord. 00:20:03.839 --> 00:20:10.079 And then you take your next step of faith and confidence in the God who has just heard your prayers. 00:20:11.440 --> 00:20:17.279 You know, if you were to ask me, what is, John, did your biggest fear right now? 00:20:17.359 --> 00:20:25.519 I think as I was journaling, the fear that came to mind again and again was the fear of failure. 00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:39.759 More specifically, it's the fear of failing to start a church like this, and only after a few years to not deal with that, survive. 00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:42.720 For whatever reason, the church didn't grow very much. 00:20:43.039 --> 00:20:44.720 You didn't have enough finances. 00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:51.920 Just the fear of failure of getting this church a place where it could survive for years to come, even long after me. 00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:56.240 That is a deep-seated fear, if I'd be honest with you. 00:20:56.799 --> 00:21:02.559 And I still remember last summer I was knee-deep in worrying about how this church is going to financially survive. 00:21:02.720 --> 00:21:09.759 You see, our church that sent us and started us had this three-year plan, and we were getting our last check last fall. 00:21:10.160 --> 00:21:11.119 That's it. 00:21:12.640 --> 00:21:15.599 We're on our own, so to speak. 00:21:16.079 --> 00:21:20.079 And that that creates some deep-seated fears in me. 00:21:20.799 --> 00:21:24.000 Because I want this church to survive. 00:21:46.960 --> 00:21:48.160 Fundraising. 00:21:48.640 --> 00:21:50.480 That's not something I wanted to do. 00:21:50.720 --> 00:21:53.920 Started this church, the pastor, not the fundraiser. 00:21:54.559 --> 00:21:58.480 I did the fundraising before the church started, not after. 00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:05.039 Not something I was really interested in doing, but something I needed to do. 00:22:05.599 --> 00:22:12.319 So I remember starting to pray about this issue, and I have it dated where in this list where I keep things that I pray for. 00:22:12.400 --> 00:22:15.519 It dated it June 19, 2025, about a year ago. 00:22:15.680 --> 00:22:18.000 Should I start fundraising again? 00:22:19.279 --> 00:22:21.920 And how should I go about fundraising this time around? 00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:24.240 Let's just start a praying. 00:22:24.559 --> 00:22:25.680 And God answered. 00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:31.839 He answered this prayer by allowing me to connect with a coach, someone who would coach me in fundraising. 00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:36.160 And all expenses were paid for by our church planting network that we're in Acts 29. 00:22:36.319 --> 00:22:41.039 This coaching, we we have phone calls pretty much every single week, almost every single week. 00:22:41.200 --> 00:22:51.599 And for three months, about three months, and I was able to figure out what to do, who to talk to, who to how to put this list together, what to do when I talk to people. 00:22:54.000 --> 00:23:13.039 And so last fall was a lot of emailing and texting and video calls and meals and meeting up with people, just looking for churches or individuals to be willing to financially partner with us for the next three to four years more until we become financially sustainable. 00:23:13.119 --> 00:23:18.480 And I share all this because this is the same pattern that we see Jacob doing here. 00:23:18.799 --> 00:23:27.920 He meets this fear with prayer, and then he takes some steps of faith and full confidence that God has just made. 00:23:29.359 --> 00:23:30.640 So what about you? 00:23:32.160 --> 00:23:35.599 I want to go back to the question I asked at the beginning and expand on it a little. 00:23:35.759 --> 00:23:37.519 First, think about this. 00:23:37.680 --> 00:23:40.000 What is your biggest fear in your life? 00:23:43.200 --> 00:23:47.359 And second, what does that fear tell you about yourself? 00:23:48.240 --> 00:23:51.839 You know, our fears are like windows into the soul, our soul. 00:23:51.920 --> 00:23:53.039 They're like windows. 00:23:53.279 --> 00:24:01.039 They expose what we most want to hold on to or feel like we'd die if we we lost. 00:24:01.519 --> 00:24:03.519 That's what fears do for us. 00:24:03.680 --> 00:24:05.359 It's actually a good thing. 00:24:05.680 --> 00:24:13.440 And I think my fear of failure when it comes to this whole church planting experience tells me I am prone to idolize achievement. 00:24:15.920 --> 00:24:24.160 Of making a name for myself, of seeking my value in this world through what other people think of me. 00:24:24.559 --> 00:24:27.279 There's this voice somewhere in the back of my mind. 00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:30.559 There's this voice going, I want to be somebody. 00:24:30.720 --> 00:24:32.160 I want to be somebody. 00:24:32.319 --> 00:24:34.079 I want to be somebody. 00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:43.519 And I just need to keep killing that voice off, if God is any glorified in my work as a pastor. 00:24:43.839 --> 00:24:44.160 Amen. 00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:49.359 Third question: what kind of limp has God given you? 00:24:49.839 --> 00:24:54.799 In his kindness, to keep you weak, humble, and dependent on him. 00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:59.039 What kind of limb has God given you? 00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:00.960 Just like he gave to Jacob. 00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:04.240 I think the limp God's given me is this full knowledge. 00:25:04.319 --> 00:25:12.000 We're three years into our church plant now, and I am not and never will be in control of the speed at which this church grows. 00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:13.200 It's my limb. 00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:18.880 I can do anything, everything I can think of to try to control that. 00:25:19.680 --> 00:25:32.000 And I'm learning again and again that the growth of this church, whether we will survive five years, ten years from now, that's not in my hands. 00:25:33.200 --> 00:25:35.759 That's ultimately in God's hands. 00:25:37.200 --> 00:25:40.240 And that's how God's made me even more dependent upon him. 00:25:41.039 --> 00:25:50.160 Three years in, I'm weak, vulnerable, with fear and anxiety. 00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:53.759 And I've got this limp as I'm leading this church. 00:25:54.319 --> 00:25:56.000 And that's a good thing. 00:25:56.640 --> 00:25:58.720 What kind of limp is God giving you? 00:25:59.359 --> 00:26:04.000 As you think about these questions and let your mind meditate over what these things look like for you. 00:26:04.079 --> 00:26:09.759 If there is a specific fear that comes to mind, I want you to just write that down somewhere. 00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:14.480 Write that down in your notes app, write that down in your journal. 00:26:17.039 --> 00:26:22.880 I want you to put it somewhere you remember and start praying about it. 00:26:23.119 --> 00:26:24.880 Go to war against it. 00:26:25.519 --> 00:26:27.279 Put a date when you first start. 00:26:27.599 --> 00:26:29.440 Go to war against it in prayer. 00:26:29.680 --> 00:26:30.640 That's what I love to do. 00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:31.920 I date my prayers. 00:26:32.160 --> 00:26:35.039 I date things that I pray so I know when he answers. 00:26:36.880 --> 00:26:40.400 Start praying daily for those fears that you feel. 00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:44.480 And ask the Lord to know exactly how to deal with those fears. 00:26:44.640 --> 00:26:49.519 Ask him to give you wisdom to know what your next steps you should take are in spite of those fears. 00:26:49.759 --> 00:26:55.759 And once those next steps are clear to you, ask the Lord for courage to take those steps. 00:26:56.559 --> 00:26:59.759 And you know it's often helpful to process these thoughts with someone. 00:26:59.839 --> 00:27:06.000 So if you're in a season right now where you just, it's just, your life is just characterized by fear and anxiety. 00:27:06.079 --> 00:27:07.359 I know that's not everyone here. 00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:29.119 But if you're in a season right now where fear is just kind of characteristically like a dominant emotion in your life right now, I'm going to encourage you to just find someone you trust, a trusted Christian friend who knows the Bible, who can listen to you, understand your fears, and just speak into your life godly wisdom. 00:27:29.839 --> 00:27:31.119 Would you do that? 00:27:33.279 --> 00:27:40.480 So back to the question: how do you handle moments in life when you've got to face your biggest fears? 00:27:40.640 --> 00:27:42.079 First, pray about your fears. 00:27:42.240 --> 00:27:51.119 Take your next steps with full confidence in God, and second, experience God's care for you despite those fears, and be thankful. 00:27:55.039 --> 00:27:56.960 Notice what happens next. 00:27:57.440 --> 00:27:59.200 It's a moment of truth. 00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:08.240 For all you movie lovers, it should be like the moment where there's dramatic music in the background, there's slow motion going on. 00:28:08.559 --> 00:28:15.039 Esau's like heading with 400 men, Jacob's like, oh my goodness, what's gonna happen today? 00:28:15.359 --> 00:28:17.039 He's on his knees. 00:28:17.680 --> 00:28:22.160 What's on Esau's mind when he's he's heading to see Jacob? 00:28:22.319 --> 00:28:24.799 Is it gonna be war or peace? 00:28:26.079 --> 00:28:27.119 Look down at verse 4. 00:28:31.359 --> 00:28:32.400 But Esau. 00:28:33.920 --> 00:28:42.480 Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him. 00:28:42.880 --> 00:28:44.160 And they wept. 00:28:45.440 --> 00:28:51.119 That should that should hit you like, I don't know. 00:28:51.359 --> 00:28:53.119 This isn't the same Esau. 00:28:53.599 --> 00:28:56.240 Like, where did that what happened? 00:28:57.519 --> 00:29:02.000 At the end of Genesis 27, Esau had just gotten out smartered by his other brother. 00:29:02.079 --> 00:29:02.720 You remember? 00:29:02.880 --> 00:29:05.759 Firstborn blessings stolen outright. 00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:10.880 And even when he asked his father to give him some leftover blessings, listen to what Esau gets. 00:29:11.119 --> 00:29:13.119 This is the blessing he gets from his father. 00:29:13.279 --> 00:29:22.240 Quote, Behold, away from the fatness of the earth shall your dwelling be, and away from the dew of heaven on high. 00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:28.000 By your sword you shall live and you shall serve your brother and grow restless. 00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:30.400 You shall break his yoke from your deck. 00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:32.400 Not a great blessing, you may ask me. 00:29:33.519 --> 00:29:36.559 By any stretch of the imagination, not a great blessing. 00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:44.000 Which is why Esau, in that moment, 20 years ago, had nothing but hatred for his brother. 00:29:44.079 --> 00:29:45.519 He wanted to kill him. 00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:48.960 See, that was 20 years ago. 00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:53.279 Something has changed here and there. 00:29:54.400 --> 00:29:56.240 It's not the same Esau. 00:29:57.599 --> 00:29:59.519 And the question is, what happened? 00:30:00.319 --> 00:30:02.000 What happened to Esau? 00:30:02.960 --> 00:30:14.480 You know, it's been pointed out that Esau treating his brother with this extraordinary warmth and kindness, it is really meant to show us one thing. 00:30:14.640 --> 00:30:16.000 At least one thing. 00:30:16.559 --> 00:30:23.519 It's really meant to show us how God has the hearts of men in his hands. 00:30:24.960 --> 00:30:33.599 And he can soften their hearts, he can soften their hardness of heart, and he can mitigate cruelty whenever he takes them. 00:30:35.279 --> 00:30:36.720 That makes sense? 00:30:37.200 --> 00:30:38.000 You see that? 00:30:38.160 --> 00:30:47.920 In other words, the way Esau treats his brother here, the way he runs to him, the way he embraces him, the way he falls on his neck and kisses him, and they weep together. 00:30:48.160 --> 00:30:52.400 It's nothing more than a huge answer prayer. 00:30:55.279 --> 00:30:55.920 33. 00:30:56.079 --> 00:30:59.839 Chapter 33 is an answer prayer into chapter 32. 00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:01.599 Don't miss that. 00:31:02.799 --> 00:31:05.920 Remember Genesis 32, Jacob seeks the Lord. 00:31:06.079 --> 00:31:10.160 He says, Please deliver from the hand, please deliver me from the hand of my brother. 00:31:10.240 --> 00:31:16.079 And God answers that exact prayer in this moment that these two brothers beautifully reunite. 00:31:16.160 --> 00:31:17.759 It's an answered prayer. 00:31:19.200 --> 00:31:28.079 Jacob prays about his fears, he takes his next steps with confidence, and then he experiences God's care for him, despite those fears. 00:31:29.759 --> 00:31:37.200 Now, in the following verses, Esau meets the rest of Jacob's family, and then I would say they have this really awkward conversation. 00:31:37.759 --> 00:31:38.880 Just really awkward. 00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:45.279 First, they have this back and forth about Jacob and what he means by all these animals being stepped ahead. 00:31:45.359 --> 00:31:47.680 And Jacob's just like, here, take them. 00:31:47.839 --> 00:31:49.119 And Jacob's like, ah, I don't know. 00:31:49.519 --> 00:31:51.359 Esau's like, I don't really need them. 00:31:51.519 --> 00:31:55.599 And Jacob's just really insistent and he's saying, please take these gifts. 00:31:55.839 --> 00:31:59.119 And Esau's like, okay, he's okay, sure. 00:32:00.640 --> 00:32:03.519 Then they have this awkward exchange about where to go from here. 00:32:03.680 --> 00:32:13.039 You see, they just reunited, and these two brothers have reconciled, and Esau extends a warm welcome and live with him, for Jacob lived with him, and he's here. 00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:15.920 Look down at verse 12. 00:32:17.039 --> 00:32:20.960 Then Esau said, Let us journey on our way, and I will go ahead of you. 00:32:21.440 --> 00:32:25.759 Another way this is translated is I'll accompany you, I'll go with you. 00:32:25.920 --> 00:32:26.880 Let's go. 00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:29.440 What's Jacob saying? 00:32:30.400 --> 00:32:36.240 My Lord knows that the children are frail, and that the nursing flocks and herds are here for me. 00:32:36.319 --> 00:32:39.519 If they are driven hard for one day, all the flocks will die. 00:32:40.160 --> 00:32:42.480 Let my Lord pass on ahead of his servants. 00:32:42.799 --> 00:32:46.319 And I will lead on slowly at the pace of the livestock that are ahead of me. 00:32:48.559 --> 00:32:51.279 Until I come to my Lord and sit here. 00:32:56.000 --> 00:32:57.200 Kids are a little slow. 00:32:58.160 --> 00:32:59.119 Livestock. 00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:01.200 We don't want to drive him too hard. 00:33:01.440 --> 00:33:02.079 If you want to. 00:33:03.519 --> 00:33:10.559 Come to just point out that Jacob's anticu really shows that he still doesn't really trust his mother. 00:33:11.519 --> 00:33:13.440 Still a little suspicion in him. 00:33:13.680 --> 00:33:16.079 Even after all that's just happened. 00:33:17.680 --> 00:33:26.559 And then there's this final little awkward exchange between the two brothers when Esau suggests, well, how about I just leave some of my men with you? 00:33:27.680 --> 00:33:30.799 I'll go on ahead, but here, take some of my men. 00:33:31.039 --> 00:33:32.720 And Jacob continues to push back. 00:33:34.720 --> 00:33:35.759 Thanks, brother. 00:33:36.960 --> 00:33:40.319 And you see Esau, heads back to Seal. 00:33:41.200 --> 00:33:46.559 And the Bible tells us Jacob journeys to Suckat and builds himself a house. 00:33:46.720 --> 00:33:50.480 He builds himself truths, which are like temporary housing for his livestock. 00:33:50.640 --> 00:33:54.240 And guys, Sukkot is completely opposite direction of Edom. 00:33:56.799 --> 00:33:58.000 Look at Sukkoth. 00:33:58.400 --> 00:34:04.000 They meet around Penuel, which is you can't really see it, but Esau goes south. 00:34:04.319 --> 00:34:06.319 Jacob says, I'll see you later. 00:34:06.960 --> 00:34:07.519 Jacob. 00:34:08.480 --> 00:34:11.440 And then Jacob goes to the west. 00:34:14.079 --> 00:34:14.719 What's up? 00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:20.719 I think Jacob had no intention of following his brother. 00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:24.159 Kind of deceitful. 00:34:25.039 --> 00:34:26.480 The way he said it. 00:34:26.800 --> 00:34:40.639 Kind of baffles me why exactly Jacob would say what he said to his brother, make him think that he was gonna follow him to search the best explanation I found in searching through the commentary is that Jacob was just kind of being overly polite. 00:34:40.719 --> 00:34:43.119 Have you ever experienced that where you just can't say no? 00:34:44.079 --> 00:34:45.199 I'll see you later. 00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:46.559 I'll be there. 00:34:47.519 --> 00:34:49.039 He's being overly polite. 00:34:50.159 --> 00:34:51.280 He didn't want to ruffle anything up. 00:34:52.960 --> 00:34:54.639 He didn't want to ruin the moment. 00:34:57.840 --> 00:35:04.400 And he's saying that he's not going to Esau's place now, but he also leaves when he'll get there. 00:35:04.719 --> 00:35:05.360 Okay then. 00:35:07.440 --> 00:35:13.599 So I think I think Jacob had in mind all along where he was going. 00:35:14.159 --> 00:35:15.679 He's heading back to Canaan. 00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:17.760 He's heading back to home. 00:35:18.719 --> 00:35:28.000 The land God promised to give to him and his offspring, which is why we find Jacob in the middle of the city of Shechem, which is actually in the middle of the land of Canaan in verse 18. 00:35:28.079 --> 00:35:34.800 He buys this plot of land from the sons of Hamor, Shechem's father, which is, by the way, an important piece of information. 00:35:35.039 --> 00:35:37.119