WEBVTT 00:00:04.080 --> 00:00:11.119 Today's scripture comes from Genesis chapter 34, verses 1 through 31. 00:00:11.439 --> 00:00:14.160 The whole chapter that we are going to read together. 00:00:14.560 --> 00:00:20.239 If you have one of these Bibles that I have, you can turn to the page 26. 00:00:22.320 --> 00:00:28.239 Again, Genesis chapter 34, verses 1 through 31. 00:00:34.880 --> 00:00:40.479 If you're ready, would you all stand for the reading of the in-errent holy word of God? 00:00:50.640 --> 00:00:58.799 Now, Dinah, the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to see the women of the land. 00:00:59.119 --> 00:01:10.400 And when Shechem, the son of Hamar, the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he seized her and lay with her and humiliated her. 00:01:11.120 --> 00:01:14.719 And his soul was drawn to Dina, the daughter of Jacob. 00:01:14.959 --> 00:01:17.920 He loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her. 00:01:18.159 --> 00:01:24.719 So Shechem spoke to his father Hamar, saying, Get me this girl for my wife. 00:01:25.120 --> 00:01:32.719 Now Jacob heard that he had defiled his daughter Dinah, but his sons were with his livestock in the field. 00:01:32.879 --> 00:01:36.400 So Jacob held his peace until they came. 00:01:36.799 --> 00:01:41.280 And Hamer, the father of Shechem, went out to Jacob to speak with him. 00:01:41.519 --> 00:02:00.239 The sons of Jacob had come in from the field as soon as they heard of it, and the men were indignant and very angry, because he had done an outrageous thing in Israel by lying with Jacob's daughter, for such a thing must not be done. 00:02:00.879 --> 00:02:06.959 But Hamer spoke with them, saying, The soul of my son Shechem longs for your daughter. 00:02:07.200 --> 00:02:10.719 Please give her to him to be his wife. 00:02:10.960 --> 00:02:17.439 Make marriages with us, give your daughters to us, and take our daughters for yourselves. 00:02:17.759 --> 00:02:22.319 You shall dwell with us, and the land shall be open to you. 00:02:22.479 --> 00:02:26.400 Dwell and trade in it and get property in it. 00:02:26.879 --> 00:02:37.520 Shechem also said to her father, also said to her father and her brothers, let me find favor in your eyes, and whatever you say to me, I will give. 00:02:37.759 --> 00:02:49.120 Ask me for as great a bride price and gift as you will, and I will give whatever you say to me, only give me the young woman to be my wife. 00:02:49.759 --> 00:02:58.800 The sons of Jacob answered Shechem and his father Hamer deceitfully, because he had defiled their sister Dinah. 00:02:59.520 --> 00:03:13.280 They said to them, We cannot do this thing to give our sister to one who is uncircumcised, for that would be a disgrace to us. 00:03:13.599 --> 00:03:24.000 Only on this condition will we agree with you that you will become as we are by every male among you being circumcised. 00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:33.039 Then we will give our daughters to you, and we will take your daughters to ourselves, and we will dwell with you and become one people. 00:03:33.680 --> 00:03:41.919 But if you will not listen to us and be circumcised, then we will take our daughter and we will be gone. 00:03:42.159 --> 00:03:45.680 Their words pleased Hamer and Hamer's son Shechem. 00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:51.680 And the young man did not delay to do the thing because he delighted in Jacob's daughter. 00:03:51.840 --> 00:03:55.520 Now he was the most honored of all his father's house. 00:03:55.680 --> 00:04:04.479 So Hamer and his son Shechem came to the gate of their city and spoke to the men of their city, saying, These men are at peace with us. 00:04:04.719 --> 00:04:07.439 Let them dwell in the land and treat in it. 00:04:07.759 --> 00:04:11.039 For behold, the land is large enough for them. 00:04:11.280 --> 00:04:15.840 Let us take their daughters as wives, and let us give them our daughters. 00:04:16.160 --> 00:04:21.680 Only on this condition will the man agree to dwell with us to become one people. 00:04:22.399 --> 00:04:28.639 When every male among us is circumcised, as they are circumcised. 00:04:29.040 --> 00:04:34.560 Will not their livestock, their property, and all their beasts be ours? 00:04:34.879 --> 00:04:38.480 Only let us agree with them, and they will dwell with us. 00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:53.600 And all who went out of the gate of his city listened to Hamer and his son Shechem, and every male was circumcised, and all who went out of the gate of his city on the third day. 00:04:53.839 --> 00:05:07.519 When they were sore, two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dina's brothers, took their swords and came against the city while it fell to secure and killed all the males. 00:05:07.759 --> 00:05:15.199 They killed Hamer and his son Shechem with the sword and took Dinah out of Shechem's house and went away. 00:05:15.519 --> 00:05:22.800 The sons of Jacob came upon the slain and plundered the city because they had defiled their sister. 00:05:23.360 --> 00:05:38.160 They took their flocks and their herds and their donkeys and whatever was in the city and in the field, all their wealth, all their little ones and their wives, all that was in the houses, they captured and plundered. 00:05:38.399 --> 00:05:49.360 Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, You have brought trouble on me by making me stink to the inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites and the Perizzites. 00:05:49.600 --> 00:06:00.079 My numbers are few, and if they gather themselves against me and attack me, I shall be destroyed, both I and my household. 00:06:00.319 --> 00:06:05.120 But they said, Should he treat our sister like a prostitute? 00:06:05.439 --> 00:06:07.199 This is the word of the Lord. 00:06:07.519 --> 00:06:08.720 Thanks be to our God. 00:06:08.800 --> 00:06:10.079 Please be seated. 00:06:15.839 --> 00:06:16.800 Thank you, Sweden. 00:06:21.600 --> 00:06:24.720 Talk about a tough passage to preach on today, huh? 00:06:25.839 --> 00:06:28.079 Let me let me pray for us before we begin. 00:06:30.240 --> 00:06:36.240 Father, it is a privilege to come before your word, week in, week out. 00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:45.360 And to just sit and listen to stories like this in Scripture. 00:06:46.800 --> 00:06:48.000 That didn't have to be written. 00:06:48.079 --> 00:06:49.600 They could have been left out. 00:06:50.399 --> 00:06:53.439 But they're here, right in front of us. 00:06:53.839 --> 00:06:56.480 The good, the bad, and the ugly. 00:06:58.879 --> 00:07:00.399 Lord, teach us what you want us to learn. 00:07:00.560 --> 00:07:10.480 I pray your spirit would open our eyes and help us to take away from this passage what you would have for us as your people. 00:07:14.240 --> 00:07:15.920 We pray in Jesus' name. 00:07:16.160 --> 00:07:16.800 Amen. 00:07:17.920 --> 00:07:30.879 Well, there's a biblical counselor named David Pallison who tells this story of a woman in her 60s named Helen who comes to see him for counseling one day. 00:07:31.519 --> 00:07:38.160 And Helen is riveted by a problem with anger. 00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:49.839 You see, over the years, she has come across people who have grieved her and grieved her and grieved her over and over and over and have left scars on her. 00:07:50.079 --> 00:07:58.160 And she could tell countless stories of how people have slighted her or hurt her, at least from her perspective. 00:07:58.240 --> 00:08:05.279 And these grievances have led to years and years of gossiping and bitterness and anger and resentment. 00:08:06.720 --> 00:08:14.079 And sadly for Helen, the way she's handled her anger has damaged relationships. 00:08:14.399 --> 00:08:16.079 One after another. 00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:24.000 She was a member of her church, led the audio ministry of her church, but she eventually split her church. 00:08:25.199 --> 00:08:46.720 Helen's inability to deal with anger properly, deal with anger properly, not only split her church, it destroyed her marriage, intimidated and alienated her children, it cost her job after job after job, and it drove away every single person in her life who tried to be friends with her. 00:08:48.080 --> 00:08:51.120 Now I wonder how many of you could relate to Helen. 00:08:51.840 --> 00:09:00.480 Maybe not so much in the way of losing your job or costing you all these friendships or blowing up your marriage. 00:09:01.919 --> 00:09:08.159 But your anger and the way you've dealt with it in life have certainly hurt people. 00:09:09.840 --> 00:09:14.720 Certainly left some scars in people's memories when they think about you. 00:09:15.840 --> 00:09:27.200 Now I bring all this up because in today's passage, as Sujan's just read for us, we come across a moment in Jacob's life that is really, really dark. 00:09:27.919 --> 00:09:32.559 It's a moment in his life where his daughter is sexually assaulted. 00:09:33.600 --> 00:09:39.120 And we read about how anger is expressed in a very destructive way. 00:09:40.399 --> 00:09:45.200 Now, like I prayed earlier, this story of Jacob could easily have been left out of Scripture. 00:09:45.440 --> 00:09:46.399 It could have. 00:09:47.679 --> 00:09:52.080 I mean, leaving it in certainly doesn't make Jacob look any better, does it? 00:09:53.120 --> 00:10:00.720 But I believe that the Holy Spirit led the author of Genesis to leave this particular story in for a purpose. 00:10:01.039 --> 00:10:04.559 So that we could be taught some very important lessons in life. 00:10:05.200 --> 00:10:14.159 Because the reality is the longer you and I live on this fallen world and in this fallen world, the more and more we will have to face situations we weren't looking for. 00:10:15.360 --> 00:10:24.879 But the more and more we will have to face situations where either we or someone we love get hurt or seriously sinned against. 00:10:25.919 --> 00:10:38.480 And anger, anger in those very moments are very natural, is a very natural motion, and we have to force ourselves to ask the question what are we going to do about it? 00:10:39.440 --> 00:10:46.240 What should we do when we or those we love are hurt or sinned against in horrific ways? 00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:56.960 How do we end up not destroying people, relationships, the things around us in the process? 00:10:57.360 --> 00:11:01.200 And so that's the question I want us to wrestle with as we head into this passage today. 00:11:01.279 --> 00:11:05.039 I want to invite you to turn back to the book of Genesis, chapter 34. 00:11:05.200 --> 00:11:07.840 We're just gonna pick up where we left last week. 00:11:08.159 --> 00:11:17.200 And just for some context, you'll remember that at the end of Genesis, Jacob and his family are at a very peaceful place in their story. 00:11:17.759 --> 00:11:28.320 You'll remember they find themselves not in Sear with his brother Esau, but they head completely the opposite direction to west from Sukkoth to Shechem. 00:11:29.519 --> 00:11:40.960 And the Bible tells us that Jacob buys a piece of property from the sons of Hamor to pitch his tent, and he builds this altar, and he calls it the God of Israel. 00:11:42.320 --> 00:11:46.159 Now, Genesis 34, verse 2, we find out who this Hamor is. 00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:48.080 He's called the prince of the land. 00:11:48.159 --> 00:12:01.039 Now, the word prince in chapter 34, verse 2, describing Hamor, has more of a sense of the word ruler, not just simply the son of a ruler, like we think about typically when we hear prince. 00:12:01.120 --> 00:12:05.519 So suffice it to say, Hamor was the head hancho of the city of Shechem. 00:12:05.679 --> 00:12:10.000 And that's an important piece of information to keep in mind, as you'll see later on. 00:12:11.120 --> 00:12:13.519 So, Genesis 34, verse 1. 00:12:13.679 --> 00:12:15.200 Look down there with me. 00:12:18.320 --> 00:12:26.639 Now Dinah, the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to see the women of the land. 00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:40.960 And when Shechem, the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he seized her and lay with her and humiliated her. 00:12:42.080 --> 00:12:46.799 So this opening scene cuts right to the chase, doesn't it? 00:12:47.200 --> 00:12:50.720 Dinah's out for a stroll in the new town they're in. 00:12:50.960 --> 00:12:54.559 She's out to meet some other ladies and make some friends. 00:12:55.759 --> 00:13:01.759 But in an unexpected turn of events, she catches the eye of the ruler's son, Shechem. 00:13:03.279 --> 00:13:10.639 And in a moment of impatience and sinful lust, he seizes her, he lays with her, and he humiliates her. 00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:21.600 This, of course, is just another way for the Bible to communicate with us that Shechem violated Dinah in a sexual and shamefully unwanted way. 00:13:23.360 --> 00:13:24.480 Verse 3. 00:13:25.600 --> 00:13:29.440 And his soul, this is Shechem's soul, was drawn to Dinah the daughter of Jacob. 00:13:29.519 --> 00:13:32.960 He loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her. 00:13:33.440 --> 00:13:38.799 So Shechem spoke to his father, Hamur, saying, Get me this girl for my wife. 00:13:40.320 --> 00:13:44.799 Now, soon after Jacob hears that his daughter was defiled. 00:13:45.840 --> 00:13:50.080 But he holds his peace and he doesn't say anything, he doesn't do anything because what? 00:13:50.720 --> 00:13:54.480 His sons were still in the field taking care of the livestock. 00:13:55.679 --> 00:14:01.600 And instead, we see Shechem and Hamor, his father, showing up at Jacob's tent. 00:14:02.080 --> 00:14:07.919 And Jacob's sons catch wind of what just happened to their sister, and they they show up. 00:14:08.799 --> 00:14:16.960 And we're told by Scripture that they were indignant, very angry because of what Shechem had done to their little sister. 00:14:17.600 --> 00:14:27.279 Now, what I want you to notice at this point is that for the rest of the story, essentially, it's not Jacob, but Jacob's sons who take center stage. 00:14:27.519 --> 00:14:33.039 They are the ones who interact with and kind of go back and forth with Shechem and Hamor. 00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:35.279 And it's not Jacob, and that's important. 00:14:36.000 --> 00:14:37.200 Verse 8. 00:14:37.679 --> 00:14:45.279 But Hamor spoke with them, this is the dad, saying, The soul of my son Shechem longs for your daughter. 00:14:45.600 --> 00:14:50.159 Please give her to him to be his wife. 00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:54.320 Make marriages with us, give your daughters to us. 00:14:54.720 --> 00:15:02.320 Take our daughters for yourselves, and you shall dwell with us, and the land shall be open to you. 00:15:02.799 --> 00:15:06.720 Dwell and trade in it and get property in it. 00:15:07.039 --> 00:15:10.000 So you hear what Hamor's strategy is here? 00:15:11.360 --> 00:15:17.519 He's trying to get a daughter, he's trying to get Jacob's daughter to be his son's wife. 00:15:17.919 --> 00:15:22.000 And he's offering two kinds of propositions. 00:15:22.720 --> 00:15:28.000 You give your daughter to my son, and our people will intermarry. 00:15:28.240 --> 00:15:30.080 It'll be a great thing. 00:15:30.639 --> 00:15:34.480 Not only intermarriage, he gives this financial incentive as well, right? 00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:39.440 On top to make his proposition even better. 00:15:40.480 --> 00:15:43.919 Well then in verse 11, Shechem chimes in, a little impatient. 00:15:44.080 --> 00:15:45.759 He chimes in, Shechem's there, he chimes in. 00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:57.039 Shechem also said to her father and to her brothers, that's the Dinah's father and Dinah's brothers, let me find favor in your eyes, and whatever you say to me, I will give. 00:15:57.360 --> 00:16:04.159 Ask me for as great a bride price and gift as you will, and I will give you whatever you say to me. 00:16:04.720 --> 00:16:08.480 Only give me the young woman to be my wife. 00:16:09.279 --> 00:16:17.039 So Shechem tells Jacob and his sons he was prepared to do anything, to give anything for Dinah to be his wife. 00:16:17.440 --> 00:16:27.759 Now, it's been pointed out that back in those days there was a common practice in marriage for the groom's family to pay a bride price to the bride's family. 00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:36.799 And then after marriage, sometimes the bride would also get a direct financial gift from her husband in case he were to die or in case they were to be separated. 00:16:36.960 --> 00:16:51.600 And so what Shechem's doing here likely is he's he's he's basically asking for whatever price it might be for not only the bride price from the family to family, but also the gift, the amount to give directly to Dinah. 00:16:52.080 --> 00:16:53.120 That's what's going on. 00:16:53.279 --> 00:16:54.399 Verse 13. 00:16:55.919 --> 00:17:02.559 The sons of Jacob answered Shechem and his father Hamor deceitfully. 00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:05.119 Because he had defiled their sister. 00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:08.480 They said to him, We cannot do this thing. 00:17:08.799 --> 00:17:13.920 To give our sister to one who is uncircumcised, for that would be a disgrace to us. 00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:22.480 Only on this condition will we agree with you that you become as we are by every male among you being circumcised. 00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:30.240 Then we will give our daughters to you, and we will take your daughters to ourselves, and we will dwell with you and become one people. 00:17:31.440 --> 00:17:37.759 But if you will not listen to us and be circumcised, then we will take our daughter and we will be gone. 00:17:38.720 --> 00:17:47.039 Now the word daughter here in the biblical Hebrew is used to refer to any woman, and with a particular focus on a woman of marriageable age. 00:17:47.440 --> 00:17:55.440 And what I want you to see here is that Jacob's sons have taken after the sins of their father. 00:17:56.079 --> 00:17:57.279 You see that? 00:17:58.400 --> 00:18:07.519 You see, we've been we've seen time and time again in Jacob's story how he has leveraged his skills of lying and deceiving people in order to get what he wants. 00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:27.440 And so here, like father, like sons, Jacob's sons clearly have no intention to give over Dinah to these men, becoming one people with these Hivites. 00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:28.400 And you know what? 00:18:28.480 --> 00:18:38.799 Their ask was as crazy as what happened to their sister, if you think about it, for the entire city, the entire men of the city to get circumcised. 00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:46.799 You kind of wonder, they might have been kind of surprised that Hamor and Shechem were okay with that. 00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:54.799 But for whatever reason, the Bible tells us Hamor and Shechem walk away from this conversation pleased. 00:18:55.440 --> 00:18:58.000 They're happy with that proposition. 00:18:58.480 --> 00:19:02.480 And they bring this proposal before the men of the city at the gates. 00:19:02.640 --> 00:19:13.200 Keep in mind that Hamor was the ruler, and so this is the ruler of the city and his son proposing this dramatic offer. 00:19:14.240 --> 00:19:22.240 And they essentially coax the men of the city to get circumcised altogether, telling them there's gonna be some huge financial payoff. 00:19:22.480 --> 00:19:27.440 We're gonna be able to have the benefit of intermarrying with these people. 00:19:28.240 --> 00:19:31.440 Now, I have no idea what's going on in these men's minds. 00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:36.559 But for whatever reason, they take it. 00:19:37.119 --> 00:19:43.119 They're okay with it, they go along with the plan, and so these men are circumcised, every single one of them. 00:19:43.359 --> 00:20:02.880 And the Bible tells us that on the third day, when the men were still sore and recovering from their pain, two of Jacob's sons, Levi and Simeon, they take their swords and they go in the city and they kill off every single one of the men in that city, including Shechem and his dad. 00:20:03.119 --> 00:20:04.480 Cold-blooded. 00:20:04.960 --> 00:20:07.680 Murder, revenge. 00:20:09.039 --> 00:20:10.400 They were angry. 00:20:11.279 --> 00:20:25.599 Not only that, they plunder the city, you see that, they steal their flocks, their herds, their donkeys, whatever was in the city and in the field, all their wealth, all their little ones, their wives, all that was in their homes, they captured and plundered. 00:20:25.839 --> 00:20:32.799 Talk about expressing anger in a way that's completely disproportionate to the wrong. 00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:38.720 Now, I don't think the Bible here is trying to condone what these two brothers did. 00:20:39.039 --> 00:20:39.920 Not at all. 00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:49.039 In fact, if you look at how things are spoken about them, how they're remembered, how Jacob actually gives his final blessings in uh near the end of his life. 00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:51.920 This is Genesis 49, verse 5 through 7. 00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:57.759 He speaks directly to Simeon and Levi, and he says this as the final blessing. 00:20:58.079 --> 00:20:59.440 Not very good words here. 00:20:59.599 --> 00:21:00.640 Listen to this. 00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:05.119 Quote, Simeon and Levi are brothers. 00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:08.720 Weapons of violence are their swords. 00:21:09.039 --> 00:21:12.000 Let my soul not come not into their counsel. 00:21:12.160 --> 00:21:19.839 Oh my glory be not joined to their company, for in their anger they killed men, and in their willfulness they hamstrung oxen. 00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:26.960 Curse be their anger, for it is fierce, and their wrath, for it is cruel. 00:21:27.200 --> 00:21:31.599 I will divide them in Jacob and scatter them in Israel. 00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:34.960 These brothers were wrong to do what they did. 00:21:35.920 --> 00:21:39.759 But they weren't wrong to feel angry or indignant. 00:21:39.839 --> 00:21:45.759 It was just simply the way they expressed their displeasure at what they saw was clearly wrong and unjust. 00:21:47.039 --> 00:21:53.359 The way they plundered the city and the way they murdered these men, that was that was wrong. 00:21:54.640 --> 00:22:02.400 So going back to the counselor I mentioned earlier, David Palison, he points out that there is such a thing as Good anger and bad anger. 00:22:03.279 --> 00:22:06.880 Bad anger is what we typically think about when we think about anger in general. 00:22:07.039 --> 00:22:12.559 When we hear the word anger, we picture typically bad anger. 00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:16.319 Now, bad anger can show up in different ways. 00:22:18.640 --> 00:22:26.640 From a low level, constant irritability, where the smallest things just tick you off all the time. 00:22:28.160 --> 00:22:42.000 To a violent, aggressive form of displeasure and destructive behaviors, where it could be verbal assaults, it could be physical attacks, and God forbid, even murder. 00:22:43.599 --> 00:22:57.119 Bad anger can also show up in more subtle ways, like long-standing bitterness, cutting off relationships, maybe even passive anger, and that's a kind of anger you might not even know exists in you. 00:22:57.359 --> 00:23:07.680 But it shows up in other ways like depression or tiredness or pessimism towards life, cynicism. 00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:10.160 So that's bad anger. 00:23:10.640 --> 00:23:23.200 There's also good anger, and good anger is defined as the polar opposite of all forms of bad and angry, and it acts constructively in the presence of wrong. 00:23:24.079 --> 00:23:32.240 So, back to the question: what should we do when we or those we love are harmed, hurt, or sinned against? 00:23:32.480 --> 00:23:39.920 And my first point is this from this passage: we've got to root out bad anger and aim for good anger. 00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:49.440 I still remember in college, I heard this, I heard something about anger that stuck with me. 00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:57.839 And um, so you know, I grew up mostly an only child. 00:23:58.720 --> 00:24:01.440 And for most of my life, life was great in the home. 00:24:01.519 --> 00:24:03.599 My parents were generally kind to me. 00:24:03.759 --> 00:24:06.480 I had no brothers or sisters to fight with. 00:24:07.440 --> 00:24:11.359 I thought, I thought I was just fine in this area. 00:24:11.599 --> 00:24:13.359 Anger, not a problem. 00:24:14.960 --> 00:24:28.160 And and I've heard this thing where um they say that when you get married, you find that your spouse is gonna push some of your buttons. 00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:35.279 And and when you have children, your children are gonna start pushing buttons you didn't even know you had. 00:24:36.480 --> 00:24:38.480 And I find that to be totally true. 00:24:38.640 --> 00:24:45.440 You see, um, like I said, anger, not a problem for me growing up for the most part, right? 00:24:45.680 --> 00:24:49.920 Very peaceful, very relaxed home life, thank God. 00:24:51.359 --> 00:24:53.200 And then I got married. 00:24:53.599 --> 00:24:58.960 And then I started noticing some anger issues in me that I didn't know where it came from. 00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:07.119 But my typical way of dealing with anger was more clamping down and shutting down and pouting, cold shoulder. 00:25:07.279 --> 00:25:13.759 I'll make I'll make my spouse know that something was wrong, but I'm not gonna say it. 00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:24.319 And then with my kids, especially when they were younger, I still remember times when I was so frustrated, my anger would explode out of me. 00:25:24.559 --> 00:25:25.839 I don't know where they came from. 00:25:25.920 --> 00:25:27.039 I didn't know where that came from. 00:25:27.119 --> 00:25:29.759 I just couldn't control myself sometimes. 00:25:33.279 --> 00:25:43.519 So before marriage, feeling great, marriage getting some buttons pushed, kids getting buttons I didn't even know get pushed. 00:25:43.599 --> 00:25:46.000 That's exactly what happened to me. 00:25:47.519 --> 00:25:50.720 I have anger issues after all. 00:25:51.359 --> 00:25:55.119 I just needed to live a little bit more of life to figure that out. 00:25:55.599 --> 00:25:56.960 And so I get it. 00:25:57.920 --> 00:26:03.279 As we read a story like this, we see how bad anger is expressed. 00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:13.920 None of us here in this room is probably gonna face the same kind of explosive anger like Simeon and Levi did when they, you know, faced the rape of their sister. 00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:21.680 But the question to you is this how and when does bad anger show up in your life? 00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:27.599 And I think one of the best places to look for signs of bad anger is at home. 00:26:28.799 --> 00:26:38.319 Consider how you handle anger at home, when you feel wronged, when you feel sinned against by the people closest to you. 00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:47.039 Home is the easiest place to express how you really feel, right? 00:26:47.680 --> 00:26:51.440 You don't need to pretend, you don't need to be polite. 00:26:52.960 --> 00:27:02.079 Now, again, none of us will probably go so far as murdering someone out of anger, but we can pretty we can go pretty far in how we punish people with our words. 00:27:02.640 --> 00:27:15.839 We can murder them in our thoughts and in our hearts, our facial expressions, the redness of our face, the tone of our voice, the volume of our voice. 00:27:16.640 --> 00:27:20.480 We can incite fear, we can intimidate. 00:27:22.720 --> 00:27:31.599 I just want to say to those of you here in this room who really struggle with this, whether with people at home or not, you're not alone. 00:27:31.920 --> 00:27:35.200 It's a very real struggle for a lot of people. 00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:46.160 I want you to walk away from today, knowing that the emotion of anger is not necessarily a bad thing, but how you express it matters. 00:27:49.039 --> 00:27:56.480 Remember what you feel when you get angry is that you're seeing something wrong in life and you want to do something about it. 00:27:57.039 --> 00:28:03.920 The only problem is that many times our sin in our hearts leads us to do sinful things in response. 00:28:05.680 --> 00:28:17.759 And so, if this is you, I just want to encourage you to bring this struggle with bad anger to the Lord and repent from your heart how you tend to express your anger. 00:28:18.720 --> 00:28:28.319 And then ask the Lord to help you learn what it looks like to express your anger in a godly way, to move from bad anger to good anger. 00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:36.720 And I want to specifically challenge you to write down a prayer for yourself in this area if you struggle with this and use a verse. 00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:39.519 I've got two verses up here to pray for yourself. 00:28:39.680 --> 00:28:44.559 And it casts a vision of what it looks like to express good anger. 00:28:44.799 --> 00:28:57.200 So Ephesians 4.29 says, Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 00:28:57.359 --> 00:29:10.160 There is a way, friends, to feel angry at the right things, but then to express in a way that's constructive and loving and helpful for the situation. 00:29:10.400 --> 00:29:11.039 Amen? 00:29:12.319 --> 00:29:26.799 James 119, 20 says, Know this, my beloved brothers, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man, this is the bad anger of man, does not produce the righteousness of God. 00:29:29.680 --> 00:29:35.279 Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. 00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:40.880 So back to the question what should we do when we or those we love are hurt or sinned against? 00:29:41.119 --> 00:29:46.640 First, root out bad anger by the grace of God and aim for good anger. 00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:54.319 Now I want to just go back through this story, and I want to highlight a character I haven't really talked much about. 00:29:55.680 --> 00:29:58.319 He's been uncharacteristically silent. 00:30:00.160 --> 00:30:01.920 I'm talking about Jacob. 00:30:03.599 --> 00:30:11.839 Back at the beginning of the story, do you remember the very first thing Jacob did when he heard that his daughter was raped? 00:30:12.079 --> 00:30:14.000 What was the very first thing? 00:30:16.799 --> 00:30:22.000 Or if you're having trouble remembering, it's because he didn't do anything. 00:30:23.039 --> 00:30:24.480 He didn't do anything. 00:30:24.720 --> 00:30:39.279 And that's important to point out because from the beginning of the story to the very end, we find nothing to tell us that Jacob was in the least bit upset or angered or feeling anything towards his daughter, Dinah. 00:30:40.880 --> 00:30:42.000 That's a problem. 00:30:43.039 --> 00:30:51.119 I mean, if you think about it, Jacob's sons basically take over the driver's seat in this plot, in this whole plot line of the story. 00:30:51.279 --> 00:30:52.799 Jacob takes the backseat. 00:30:53.039 --> 00:30:54.799 He lets his son take over. 00:30:55.759 --> 00:30:58.880 Doesn't say a word to his daughter when she was hurt. 00:30:59.359 --> 00:31:03.599 Doesn't say a word to Shechem or his father when they visit. 00:31:03.920 --> 00:31:13.200 Doesn't say a word to stop what his sons are about to do, even though he's probably there, present, listening in on their plans. 00:31:15.359 --> 00:31:21.920 If you dig a little deeper, it's really interesting to think about why was Jacob so cold-hearted to Dinah? 00:31:23.039 --> 00:31:27.759 Couldn't he express some sort of compassion? 00:31:29.359 --> 00:31:36.960 Well, one commentator points out that Jacob was never very fond of Leah, as you remember, and her children. 00:31:37.200 --> 00:31:42.880 And Dinah being Leah's daughter meant she didn't really get much of Daddy's love ever. 00:31:44.319 --> 00:31:50.880 The lack of love towards Leah translated to his lack of love for his daughter, Dinah. 00:31:52.079 --> 00:31:56.799 And you know, there are actually three types of anger. 00:31:57.200 --> 00:31:58.319 Three types. 00:31:59.039 --> 00:32:00.640 We talked about the first two. 00:32:00.799 --> 00:32:07.920 There's good anger, there's bad anger, there's a third type of anger called absent anger. 00:32:08.799 --> 00:32:09.839 Absent anger. 00:32:10.160 --> 00:32:16.799 This is a kind of anger defined as anger that actually fails to get aroused when real wrongs are committed. 00:32:17.759 --> 00:32:21.839 Because it's easier to remain indifferent and detached. 00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:23.519 Absent anger. 00:32:24.079 --> 00:32:29.359 Now to understand the problem of absent anger, we've got to go back to what it means for us to be made in the image of God. 00:32:29.839 --> 00:32:38.400 It's been said that to be made in the image of God means that we were made with an innate ability to spot things that are wrong in this world and care about them. 00:32:39.759 --> 00:32:46.079 We were created by God to get angry about injustice. 00:32:47.359 --> 00:32:57.440 Being made in the image of a holy and just God means that we're supposed to get upset when we see harm done to ourselves, to others. 00:32:58.880 --> 00:33:06.799 So Jacob was supposed to feel the exact same way his sons felt when they heard about Dinah. 00:33:07.839 --> 00:33:09.920 He was supposed to feel shock. 00:33:10.559 --> 00:33:12.559 He was supposed to feel anger. 00:33:13.039 --> 00:33:15.920 He was supposed to feel indignant. 00:33:17.759 --> 00:33:20.319 But Jacob feels none of that. 00:33:21.759 --> 00:33:27.119 And what's more, when we get to the end of the story, Jacob comes back in the picture, and what do we find out he cares about? 00:33:28.799 --> 00:33:29.920 Not Dinah. 00:33:31.119 --> 00:33:39.680 Not the fact that his sons have just completely raised a city, killed off all the men, and plundered all their stuff. 00:33:41.200 --> 00:33:46.160 Not the fact that these men were just duped into getting circumcised and killed. 00:33:46.880 --> 00:33:49.440 No, he's selfishly worrying about himself. 00:33:49.599 --> 00:33:51.200 Look down at verse 30. 00:33:51.680 --> 00:34:00.079 Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, You have brought trouble on me by making me stink to the inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites and the Perizzites. 00:34:00.240 --> 00:34:02.000 My number are few. 00:34:03.599 --> 00:34:11.679 And if they gather against me and attack me, I shall be destroyed, both I and my household. 00:34:11.920 --> 00:34:14.719 You hear all the meas and mys and eyes in that? 00:34:16.239 --> 00:34:22.400 You have brought trouble on me by making me stink to the inhabitants of the land. 00:34:22.559 --> 00:34:28.079 If they gather themselves against me and attack me, I shall be destroyed. 00:34:28.320 --> 00:34:29.599 How selfish. 00:34:32.239 --> 00:34:41.119 And then the son's reply in verse 31 Should he treat our sister like a prostitute, show just how little remorse they feel for what they've done. 00:34:41.840 --> 00:34:43.519 How little remorse they feel. 00:34:43.760 --> 00:34:45.039 What a mess. 00:34:46.239 --> 00:34:50.880 So chapter 34 ends in a completely different place than chapter 33. 00:34:51.119 --> 00:34:52.079 You see that? 00:34:53.119 --> 00:34:57.199 And Jacob erects that altar in chapter 33 in honor of the Lord. 00:34:57.280 --> 00:35:03.199 He's safely been brought from his uncle Laban's home in Bedan Aram from the north. 00:35:04.000 --> 00:35:08.000 And obviously at the end of chapter 34, God's not done with Jacob yet. 00:35:08.079 --> 00:35:10.800 It's not the end of the story, and we're going to see that next week. 00:35:11.039 --> 00:35:19.920 But for now, what I want us to learn from Jacob here is that there is such a thing as not being angry when you should have been angry. 00:35:21.760 --> 00:35:31.440 And this problem of not being angry when you should have been angry is just as much of an issue to be dealt with as an anger that explodes in ways it shouldn't be. 00:35:38.079 --> 00:35:47.280 Well, for one, if he had more righteous anger instead of being absence of anger at what Shechem did to Dinah, he could have loved his daughter better, right? 00:35:47.840 --> 00:35:54.400 He could have shown the kind of care and concern a dad does for a daughter who's just been hurt. 00:35:55.280 --> 00:36:06.800 Second, I think being good and angry for Jacob in this moment could have meant him speaking up for his daughter when Shechem and Hamor came to visit, keeping this young man accountable. 00:36:08.159 --> 00:36:22.239 Third, Jacob could have prayed to the Lord on behalf of Dinah, led his sons to put their feelings of anger and their desire to have revenge on this entire city into the hands of the Lord. 00:36:23.360 --> 00:36:34.400 After all, if you remember, he has just seen the Lord answer amazing prayer on behalf of Esau and changing his vengeful heart into peace. 00:36:35.760 --> 00:36:39.920 All that unnecessary killing and plundering could have been avoided. 00:36:40.239 --> 00:36:51.760 Fourth, and this is theoretical, because I don't know what kind of justice system they had in place that time, but perhaps Jacob could have sought help from those who were put in place by society to punish those who did wrong. 00:36:51.920 --> 00:36:56.559 Much like if we were to get police involved in a similar situation nowadays. 00:36:57.920 --> 00:37:11.199 And lastly, even if the city didn't have a good system in place for accountability for crimes like this, Jacob could have prayed to God to meet out justice on Shechem and just leave it into his hands. 00:37:15.280 --> 00:37:21.840 So, what should we do when we or those we love are hurt or sinned against? 00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:29.760 First, root out bad anger, aim for good anger, second, be concerned if you feel no anger at all. 00:37:30.800 --> 00:37:35.679 Realize that getting angry at the right things is actually good and needed. 00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:40.079 It's part of the very meaning of being made in the image of God. 00:37:41.760 --> 00:37:47.679 And then what it does, what you need to do next is just, it all comes down to what you do with that anger. 00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:52.159 Are you gonna channel it for evil or are you gonna channel it for good? 00:37:53.840 --> 00:37:56.800 There's a story told of a fourth grader named Leanne. 00:37:58.000 --> 00:38:02.480 And Leanne is this feisty, opinionated, hard to get along with girl. 00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:10.159 But one day she sees in, just sees this other kid named Mark, a classmate. 00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:14.079 He's a shy, smaller kind of kid. 00:38:14.159 --> 00:38:15.840 He he gets picked at. 00:38:49.039 --> 00:38:50.719 You are being mean, you should be ashamed. 00:38:50.800 --> 00:38:52.400 Look how big you are. 00:38:53.039 --> 00:38:54.880 Look how little Mark is. 00:38:55.679 --> 00:38:59.119 Look how many of you there are, and only one Mark. 00:38:59.280 --> 00:39:01.760 Go pick on somebody your own size. 00:39:02.000 --> 00:39:04.480 You should tell them sorry for what you did. 00:39:05.519 --> 00:39:16.239 And there's this crowd that gathers, a crowd of kids that start to gather around to see what's going on, and soon after these bullies, one by one, they back off. 00:39:17.119 --> 00:39:18.960 They leave Mark alone. 00:39:20.079 --> 00:39:22.559 You see, Leanne, fourth grader. 00:39:23.360 --> 00:39:24.480 She got mad. 00:39:25.519 --> 00:39:28.159 But she got mad for the right reasons. 00:39:28.559 --> 00:39:30.559 She got the right kind of mad. 00:39:31.280 --> 00:39:33.199 She was both good and angry. 00:39:33.280 --> 00:39:38.880 And this is the kind of good and angry that doesn't show up in Jacob in our story today. 00:39:40.400 --> 00:39:48.079 But it's the kind of mad, it's the exactly the kind of mad we ought to feel when those we love are sinned against and hurt. 00:39:48.480 --> 00:39:51.679 There is wrong that's been committed that demands a response. 00:39:51.840 --> 00:39:55.840 So I just want to speak for a moment to those of you in this room who are parents. 00:39:57.039 --> 00:40:04.000 Because I know, as I said before, anger shows up so naturally in the home. 00:40:07.519 --> 00:40:13.840 There's no one to impress, there's no one to show extra politeness towards. 00:40:14.159 --> 00:40:16.880 You just say it like it is, right? 00:40:20.400 --> 00:40:29.280 Parents, let me ask you, how are you doing right now dealing with moments at home when you feel sinned against by your kids or hurt by your kids? 00:40:29.920 --> 00:40:32.639 You're getting angry for the right reasons. 00:40:33.679 --> 00:40:40.960 I think if you're honest with yourself, you'll find that your anger comes out like it does mine oftentimes for selfish reasons. 00:40:41.199 --> 00:40:50.239 Like when my kids were younger, I would regularly find myself getting angry because they wouldn't go to sleep at the right times. 00:40:51.280 --> 00:40:52.960 This is a bad angry. 00:40:54.079 --> 00:40:57.599 And they would chip into my own time to relax that night. 00:40:58.159 --> 00:41:05.360 Or as my kids grew older, I would find myself getting angry if they weren't treating me with the respect I thought I deserved. 00:41:05.920 --> 00:41:10.079 It's a bad kind of angry, selfish kind of angry. 00:41:11.280 --> 00:41:22.960 But then also ask yourself: are there times when, like Jacob, you might be lacking an appropriate response of anger, but good anger when your kids are mistreated or bullied. 00:41:23.119 --> 00:41:27.840 You hear something at school that happened and you don't really do anything about it. 00:41:29.199 --> 00:41:30.719 That's also a problem. 00:41:31.519 --> 00:41:33.280 And I know what that's like. 00:41:37.199 --> 00:41:43.440 Now I just want to also speak to those of you who here might be going through a time in your life where you feel the weight of this sermon acutely. 00:41:43.920 --> 00:41:49.599 And you or someone close to you have been sinned against and harmed and hurt. 00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:52.159 You don't know exactly what to do. 00:41:53.119 --> 00:41:57.920 I just want to encourage you to process that hurt with someone you can trust. 00:41:58.079 --> 00:42:08.400 Maybe that's a mentor figure in life, maybe that's a good Christian friend in your life, or maybe that just means finding Pastor Ben or myself and processing that with you. 00:42:09.360 --> 00:42:13.519 And just processing your emotions andor even your lack of emotions. 00:42:14.320 --> 00:42:16.480 Trying to figure out what you need to do next. 00:42:16.719 --> 00:42:19.599 What does good anger look like? 00:42:23.360 --> 00:42:38.320 And last thing I want to say is just a word to those of you here in this room who know exactly what it's like to struggle with anger, bad anger, for a long time, maybe even your whole life. 00:42:39.360 --> 00:42:42.159 You might have even been a Christian for a long time. 00:42:43.840 --> 00:42:53.679 You know, today's story really highlights how bad anger was expressed by two brothers, Simeon and Levi. 00:42:54.000 --> 00:42:57.920 How they took out the entire city because of their anger. 00:42:58.480 --> 00:42:59.440 It was wrong. 00:42:59.679 --> 00:43:02.320 I think the Bible makes that abundantly clear. 00:43:02.639 --> 00:43:04.800 But here's what I don't just want you to miss. 00:43:06.000 --> 00:43:26.559 Do you realize that this same Levi in this story is the same Levi that God would one day bless and turn into the tribe of Levi, and the whole work of the priesthood for his temple worship and his temple sacrifices. 00:43:27.679 --> 00:43:31.360 It's this same Levi who's a forefather of them all. 00:43:32.800 --> 00:43:43.840 But what you don't realize is just what a violent and angry man this Levi, forefather Levi, of this tribe was until you read Genesis 34 and you realize, wow. 00:43:46.639 --> 00:43:49.599 God has shown so much grace to Levi. 00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:52.159 He doesn't deserve that. 00:43:54.159 --> 00:43:57.199 And there's another descendant of Jacob to keep in mind. 00:43:58.159 --> 00:44:01.280 A far-off descendant of Judah. 00:44:04.480 --> 00:44:06.000 Another one of Jacob's sons. 00:44:06.079 --> 00:44:19.119 He's called the Lion of Judah, who paved the way for sinners like us to be reconciled to God so that through faith in his life, death, resurrection, we could be born again into the family of God and be given the right to be children of God. 00:44:19.280 --> 00:44:37.840 So if this describes you, if you've come to call Jesus Christ Lord and Savior of your life, realize that the gospel for you today means that there's nothing more you can do to earn more of God's love, including getting everything right when it comes to fighting your anger issues. 00:44:38.960 --> 00:44:49.519 There's nothing more you can do to take away God's love for you, including moments in your life where you screw up terribly when it comes to anger issues. 00:44:50.880 --> 00:44:55.440 Because in Christ you are as righteous as you will ever be in his sight. 00:44:55.599 --> 00:45:00.480 When he sees you, he sees the perfect righteousness of Christ. 00:45:00.800 --> 00:45:12.400 You didn't enter into God's kingdom by perfectly living out good anger, and you're not gonna need a fear being kicked out of God's kingdom if you still find yourself struggling with bad anger. 00:45:12.559 --> 00:45:13.760 Does that make sense? 00:45:16.000 --> 00:45:27.039 And at the same time, you have everything you need for the rest of your life to work out your salvation with fear and trembling. 00:45:27.599 --> 00:45:33.760