Entitlement - What is it Exactly and is it a Big Deal

Looking at the ramifications of entitlement in today’s society.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Welcome back to another edition of the truth. Behind the truth. I'm Jonathan Brell. Thanks for spending a little bit of time with us. We certainly do appreciate it. We certainly do appreciate all the downloads and everything that we've gotten up to this point. The truth behind the truth, you know, we deal with those issues, like we said many times. Uh, things, anything and everything that might even be the slightest bit controversial, we're gonna deal with it because there are opinions out there and people have some great ideas about how to solve some of these problems. Some people have no clue how to solve these problems, but this is just an opportunity for us to talk about it and find out exactly where we are. Now, this particular episode is gonna deal with something that we all see every single day of our lives. And in most cases, we see it multiple times during the day. Some people think it's a problem, and some people think it really isn't any big deal, and that would be entitlement. We know all the entitled behavior that goes on out there. You've seen it, you see it every day, wherever you are. But the real question is, is when it comes to entitlement, what is it exactly? And is it a big deal? And I think it has become a big deal, but let me give you the definition first of entitlement. Entitlement is the belief that a person deserves special treatment, rewards, or exemptions from normal expectations, regardless of effort, responsibility, or the needs of others. Many people argue that entitlement has become more visible in modern society, but the picture is much more nuanced than that. I would actually say that we hear so much about entitlement now, mainly because of two things and two things only. At the top of that list is always social media. I mean, you you see it, it's rampant on social media. And you're also gonna see it, or at least see it created in the this era of 24-hour news cycles. And social media and constant comparison, that is a problem. And that's where you're gonna see it. Platforms encourage people to showcase their success, the luxury that they live in. They want to talk about all the recognition that they're getting. And this can create expectations that everyone should receive attention, rapid success, or validation, no matter what. When you're talking about things like social media, when you post something, somebody sends you a text, somebody sends you an email, or you read a post that somebody made on a social media platform, and you expect, you respond to that, and you expect an immediate response. That that is entitlement. That is a sense of entitlement. Now, if you're also believing that criticism of what you have to say is somehow inherently unfair, that's a problem. And it seems like certainly our younger generation, for sure on social media, they measure, and this is probably the saddest part of all of this, but they measure their self-worth solely by likes and followers. And we see it everywhere. We see it in consumer culture, we see it economically, uh, the consumer culture, businesses, for example, often promote the idea that the customer's always right. You've heard that, right? Uh well, and that kind of convenience should be immediate. It really should be. But this can reinforce expectations of instant gratification and personalized service, maybe above and beyond what you should really be expecting. Entitlement appears everywhere. It appears in the workplace, it appears in education. Oh my god, we we know that it makes it rears its ugly head every single day in politics and even in public behavior. Now, in public behavior, I want to talk about that just for a moment. Let's give some examples of public behavior entitlement. And let's start with traffic stops that are done by the police. There are so many videos out there, and personally, that's kind of what I like to scroll through when it comes to videos on YouTube. I like to find those videos where an officer has pulled somebody over, and they are just absolutely incensed that they're being stopped. And they'll give you every excuse in the book. I wasn't paying attention. Well, the radar gun says you were doing 78 and a 45. No, I wasn't. Well, yeah, you were. The radar gun said you were. Well, let me see the radar gun. Well, no, I don't have to show that to you, but you were doing 78 in a 45. No, I wasn't. And then they ask questions. Can I see your driver's license? Why do you want to see my driver's license? What do you need it for? Because I am doing a traffic stop and I need to identify you. I don't have to provide that information. Yes, you do. You absolutely do. But you see that all the time in these videos on YouTube about these people who are losing their minds. More often than not, they're getting pulled over for a simple traffic infraction. Some that might not even involve getting a ticket, just a warning. But their behavior alone can potentially turn that into a felony arrest. And you're gonna find yourself in jail and in a whole lot of hot water for a tail light or something like that. It really does escalate that much in these videos. Another area where you see this entitlement is kids' sports. Oh my gosh, kids' sports. Uh, parents mainly are the guilty parties here because parents, more often than not, will expect that their child will get more. My child deserves more playing time. Uh, why is my child playing right field when I told you he was a first baseman? Well, we think he's really good out there in right field, and he can't field a ground ball. So having him at first base, well, you know, that's not, but you know, parents create that problem. But sometimes you'll get players too at the high school, the college, and the professional level who will believe that they're not being played for whatever reason, and they'll make a big stink about it, and that's entitlement. Now, as far as kids' sports, you want to solve the problem with kids' sports. The worst kind of video that you can see is when an all-out brawl erupts at a little league game or a Pop Horner football game or something like that, where it actually comes down to physical violence. And occasionally you have the shots fired. Well, the way you cure that is you tell parents you're not allowed to attend these games. Or maybe one parent is, but if you really want to stop it in kid sports, yeah, leave the parents out of it. They should they shouldn't be involved at all. Now, another area where you see park uh where you see this entitled behavior, parking lots. Whether it's at the grocery store, whether it's at a movie theater, at the mall, um, a city office somewhere, any kind of parking lot. What kind of things happen in a parking lot? Well, I can give you two examples right off the bat that really, really tick me off. When you see somebody pulled up in a fire lane in front of a grocery store, and they just get out and park. There's nothing wrong with them. They just get up and they go, and and you might want to mention to them, hey, you know, you're you're parked in a red zone, and that makes two-way traffic kind of impossible because you've kind of turned it into a one-way traffic area now by virtue of where you're parked. Well, I'm only going to be in there a minute. Okay. Uh, where on the no parking sign, and of course, it also contains the vehicle code violation that you're in violation of by parking there. Um, where on there does it say, as long as you're going to be in there for a minute, absolutely, you can park in the fire lane. That is absolutely ridiculous. It says no parking anytime. And they quote the vehicle code section that explains that violation, the same way with handicap parking. This is a pet peeve of mine because I grew up with a grandmother who was really on top of things. She lived well into her 90s. She drove until she was 90 years old, but she had horrific knees. And there was nothing worse than her trying to be able to park in a handicapped space, but she can't because somebody else is parked there who isn't handicapped. Same thing. They come out. You wait for them. And so, gee, you don't look handicapped to me. You don't have a handicapped sticker, you don't have a handicapped sign on your license plate. Well, I was only in there a minute. Look, this is all I got. I went in there for two items. I was in there for less than five minutes. Again, show me where it says that you can park in a handicapped space if you're only going to be in somewhere for two minutes. That, come on, that that is ridiculous. That is entitled behavior. The rule doesn't really apply to me because I'm only going to be in there such a short period of time. So why do I have to go through the hassle? And look at the parking lot. I want to go inside. I'm in a hurry. I don't want to have to go halfway down the aisle just to find a parking place. Well, too bad. And you see this a lot in grocery stores. And I'm sure, I'm sure we've all seen this one. They always have that express lane, which is always 10 items or less. And there's always that one person there that has not 11 or 12 or 13 items, but way above and beyond the 10 item limit. And the whole purpose of that is to keep people from having to spend any extra time in line. It's a customer service thing. You don't have all that much. You've got 10 items or less. We have a special lane for you. It's not going to take very long. But you still get people with half-full grocery carts. And by the time they get up, or if you say something to them, uh, hey, that's a lot more than 10 items. Yeah, well, it's already up here. So, and they're already scanning it through, which may actually be the case. So the retailer may be somewhat responsible for that. But that is certainly a place where you see it. And you see it everywhere else, too. You see it in traffic. Um, you in in traffic on interstates that have carpool lanes and HOV lanes. You know, you're not supposed to be in an HOV lane if you're driving single. It's only for two or more passengers in most cases. And you're tired of sitting in the bumper-to-bumper traffic on I-75 in Atlanta, and you see the HOV lane is open, and you're probably going to be 20 minutes late for your appointment. So, what do you do? You dart off into the HOV lane. And then what happens? Maybe you hit a guardrail while you're going over there. Now there's an accident. And you shouldn't have been there in the first place. But it's because you were in a hurry that created that problem. But in the workplace, for example, entitled behavior could include a litany of things. For example, expecting a promotion without experience or performance. When I was in radio, I was in upper management my entire career. And whenever we had an opportunity to promote somebody or somebody express interest in a position, of course, you're going to do an interview with him. You're going to do an interview with an in-house employee in the same way that you would interview a job candidate, right? So you bring the employee in and you ask them, so what why do you think you're qualified for this position? What qualifies you for this particular promotion? Well, I've been here longer than anybody else. The other three people that are up for this, I've been here 10 years. They've only been here a year or two. Or a combined total of time that doesn't even equal 10 years. Well, you're going to have to do better than that. Longevity on the job will have nothing to do with promotions or raises. It's all about performance. It's all about earning those things. And there's a difference, you know, some people will ask, what's the difference between entitlement and earning? Earning is something you actually do get. It involves some kind of an understanding between two people, whether in writing or verbally, that if you do this for me, here's what you will get in return. So you need to earn that. You need to earn that promotion by outworking everybody, identifying problem areas, and not just going to your boss every day and saying, hey, this is a problem, this is a problem, this is a problem. Say this is a problem, but I think I might have a solution to this if we could discuss it. Tell me what you think. I'll tell you what I think the solution would be, and we can discuss it. And if you like it, great. You know, let's go with it. That's how you get promoted. You see it in education, expecting higher grades, regardless of the effort. You could be the kind of student that never misses a class. You take notes every single day, you study, but for whatever reason, you just can't seem to get over the hump. But in your mind, you're doing everything. You're quiet, you're not disruptive, you follow all of the rules. But when you get your final semester grade and you got a C, and you thought that because of all that, you should have gotten an A. But yet your work, the actual work that you did, the quality of that was only at a C level. And that's what just makes people crazy. Parents also get involved in that. Why is my kid failing this? Why did why did my son get a D when this girl got an A and they did a report on the exact same thing. It's it's it's crazy. But that is entitled behavior. We certainly see it in politics believing one's own rights should always take precedent over others and their responsibilities, right? And then public behavior, we've already talked about that. But you know, again, the big question is is entitlement actually increasing? And researchers are split on that. They really don't know because they know that the advent of social media and 24-hour news cycles is automatically gonna create some kind of an entitlement environment that is absolutely inevitable. So is it a problem or is it just more prevalent now because we see it more when actually the number of entitlement issues hasn't really changed over the decades. It's just we hear about them quicker through social media and through 24-hour news cycles. So things are dealt with much quicker. You get everything. We can essentially watch anything going on in the world right now in real time. You know, it used to be you had to wait if there was a um a war somewhere, you had to wait almost overnight for them to box up the footage, send it back to the United States so it could go on uh the TV news channels. Now, you don't need that. You you can literally see anything develop in real time. So the counter-argument, I guess, would be that many trends would probably suggest that society is not simply becoming more entitled for the sake of becoming more entitled. Younger generations, and we're seeing more and more of this now, volunteer and engage in social causes at substantial rates. I mean, we're seeing kids speaking out now the right way, you know, not by destroying a downtown in Chicago and breaking windows and things like this. But in those instances where they're peaceful and they're just trying to be heard, you know, that's fine. Many workers increasingly value a work-life balance, which some critics might call entitlement. Some employers definitely would call that entitlement, but others view it as a reasonable boundary. And a work-life balance is more than reasonable, for sure. And again, this is all counter-argument stuff, but it makes a lot of sense. Greater awareness of mental health and workplace rights has led people to advocate for themselves in ways that previous generations might not have. So yeah, you also have to balance your right versus your responsibility. And there's a huge difference between rights and responsibilities. Rights, fair treatment, opportunity, and respect. Responsibilities, accountability, effort, civility, and consideration of others, right? No-brainer. But it doesn't always happen that way. And some of the extreme examples that we're seeing are disturbing, especially the ones that happen in a public place. And sometimes a situation becomes an entitlement issue because somebody did something, they're called out on it, and ultimately they're so embarrassed that they're gonna fight like heck to change that perception. In fact, in most cases, they'll just flat out lie and say, that wasn't me. I didn't do this. It was actually this person. They're gonna find somebody to blame. Going back to traffic stops. We talked about that. I'm sure you've heard this one. Pulled you over for speeding. Well, everybody else was going way faster than me. Why are you pulling me over? Well, because I was behind you and I had a radar gun on you. I can't, I can't monitor every single vehicle all at once, but I saw you with my own two eyes. And the radar gun doesn't lie. But, you know, personal behavior to, I mean, it's I do believe that we have a responsibility to act a certain way in public. I really do. I think we need to be we need to be courteous, we need to have patience, and more importantly, we need to have empathy. We just need to be nicer. Not everything here is about us. If if you're trying desperately to put something together, whether it's a party, whether it's a business meeting, and you're having a lot of trouble and you're frustrated, but you got to get back to the office. So you start rushing around, you start yelling and screaming at people because uh this product isn't there, or it just went off sale 10 minutes ago, and they were gonna buy this particular product in bulk, you know, for example, and they just lose their minds. But we do have, and that's a good example of rights versus responsibilities. I mean, you have a right when you go to a public place to be treated a certain way. I mean, you should be treated in a civilized, polite, professional manner. And if you're not, well, you know, then it's not always a good idea to start a fight. But, you know, that's how things that's how things go off the rails. Now, part Politics and public life. Now we're seeing a lot of this entitlement. Public officials who are using their office specifically to benefit themselves or family members. That happens all the time. And why is it that when somebody gets elected to office, let's say it's a it's a national office, let's say it's in Congress, let's say it's the Senate, let's say it's the House of Representatives, why is it that when they go there for the very first time and when their first election, their income level is middle class? Yet after 15 or 20 or more years serving, they leave that same position multi-millionaires. How does that happen? Their pay isn't that much, and their pay doesn't increase that much, not enough to take them from middle class to worth millions of dollars or even billions in some cases. It just doesn't happen like that. And then you've got you've you've got some politicians that think, you know, these laws really don't apply to me because I am a leader. Jay, they should be enforced against other people, but not me during COVID. The famous example of that was California Governor Gavin Newsom, when you had to go to a restaurant, you had to wear masks, and you had to sit six feet away, you know, the social distancing. And he had he hosted that fundraiser at a very elegant French restaurant in California, and he wasn't wearing a mask. Everybody, they were all commingling, they were sitting close together, they were whispering in each other's ears. No. And he kind of, you could make an argument that in his mind he was thinking, yeah, this really doesn't apply to me because I'm trying to get uh I'm I'm trying to get business done here. And then you have people threatening violence or intimidation. This is key. You've got people threatening violence or intimidation when democratic outcomes don't always align with their preferences. And we've talked about that many times on The Truth Behind the Truth. That you're talking to somebody, you're getting into an area where you obviously differ in opinion, but rather than talk about your differences and continue to talk to each other with respect, one of you or both of you instantly vilify the other. You turn them into a mortal enemy because they have the audacity to not believe as you do. How can anybody not see the world the same way I do? How is that possible? Well, it's possible. Everybody sees the world differently. They might have things in common, but every single person has their own unique perspective. And the moment that you think your opinion is somehow more worthy or more accurate than somebody else's opinion, that is entitlement. Now I know the one place we really see it, and I think it actually bothers some people. It really does. Famous people, celebrities, yeah, and wealthy people. Famous individuals demanding special treatment from businesses or government agencies simply because they don't want to have to deal with a line. They want it, they're frequenting your, they're they're in your business for whatever reason, so they expect to be treated a certain way, which is absolutely ridiculous. Everybody should be treated the same. Using your wealth or your influence to avoid any accountability for crimes or misconduct. We see that all the time. In fact, we had that episode on the justice system: justice for all or justice for some. And I believe the outcome of that particular episode was that justice almost always will go to those who can best afford it. And that's not always the case with somebody who is unable to afford that kind of justice in terms of the legal help that they're going to get, having a top-notch criminal attorney versus a public defender. But you know what? Some of those public defenders, there's a reason that they're public defenders. That's why they're doing that, because they want to be an advocate and they know that people need that and that there are people out there that are deserving of this. They uh a lot of times you'll find attorneys like that that are um, you know, that are part of uh, you know, the um when they get you a lawyer, you know, publicly, some of those lawyers are gonna work ten times harder than the more established lawyers. Sometimes, not all the time, but they're gonna fight. And the the reason they're gonna fight is because they believe in their client, they believe what the client did, they believe in their philosophy, or at the very least, you know, there might even be some level of I have to prove myself, so I'm gonna have to take this on and work really, really hard now and see where that takes me in the future. But that's you know, but that's a good example. And expecting privacy, again, this goes in, you know, with celebrity and wealth, expecting privacy while simultaneously exploiting the public attention for personal gain. You know, celebrities, they want to go out when they're not working. They go out, they get mobbed, they hate it, they complain. Well, you know what? If you're that famous, you probably shouldn't be going out. Or you shouldn't be going to certain types of places. Because if you're out, you should, if you're a famous celebrity, you should always go into a public establishment with a reasonable expectation that you're going to attract some attention. And if you don't want that attention, don't go in. All my years in radio, and particularly the country music industry, uh, there are so many artists, so many artists out there that uh will do meet and greets for their fans. Not all of them. You know, some it's uh it's a personal space issue, some it's a health issue, some just are incredibly shy. They're great on stage, but they don't do well one-on-one for a litany of reasons. But when you run into that one performer who clearly does not want to do a meet and greet with fans, but is gonna go ahead and do it because their manager says you have to do it, and how do you think that interaction is gonna go between the celebrity and that particular fan? Not well. That fan is probably gonna walk away very, very disappointed, and that is not good. I have seen that many, many times over my career. With artists that I have had the opportunity to know very well, well enough that if a meet and greet doesn't go that way and it turns out to be a bad experience for the fan, I have no problem telling that artist, and I've done it many times. That was dumb. You just lost a fan. She is gonna go out now and tell everybody what a disappointment it was meeting you. Whereas she has spent hard-earned money since you began your career on your music, on concerts, maybe on some merchandise. If you don't want to do meet and greets and you're a celebrity, don't do the meet and greet. You'll be much better off if you just don't do it and say, I just don't do them. I just I have a hard time being in close proximity to people like that. So I just don't want to do it. That's fine. You're gonna get a lot more respect for just being honest about it than being an absolute jerkwad when your fan base starts trickling in, and there might be a couple of hundred of them, you know, that are gonna be in that line. But, you know, we also see corporate examples of entitlement. Large corporations seeking government assistance, for example, after years of privatizing profits while resisting the very regulations that were designed to protect consumers andor workers. And the big one are executives that award themselves these huge bonuses. I mean, huge bonuses, despite poor company performance, layoffs. Uh, the bottom line is off 10% from what it was a year ago. It's off 20% from what it was 10 years ago. Yet this particular executive decided I'm gonna go somewhere else and I'm gonna give myself this incredible bonus. Again, it has to be earned. You can have the bonus. Did you earn it? Is the company in a much better position the day that you left than it was the day you arrived? If that's the case, yeah, you probably do deserve a bonus. I I don't know how much. I guess it depends on the industry, but you know, it just ultimately I think extreme entitlement is less about wealth, politics, age, or status, and more about a mindset. We tell our kids all the time mindset is key. You want to be successful, you have to put yourself in the right mindset to be successful. If your mindset is, I want to do this, I'm gonna do everything I can to make this happen, maybe it will, maybe it won't. But the mindset has got to be right. If your mindset is, well, I applied for a job, it's kind of out of my comfort zone, I'm not gonna get it, or they're gonna think I'm some kind of a loser, or you do apply for a job. And you get the letter, you know, the form letter, a week later, maybe saying, Thank you for taking the time to interview, but we decided to go in a different direction. And that person will get all upset and angry, they'll take it personally, they'll think there's something wrong with me. I don't belong here. Why can't all my friends are doing this? Why can't I do it? So, but the right mindset will solve so many problems in society, and we need to work on that. It really can be as simple as just changing your mindset. But entitlement, it's always been here, goes back to the dark ages. It's always been here, it always will be here. I don't necessarily think it's getting any worse than it was before, but we have more access to the entitlement these days. And I think that's why it seems like every time you turn on the TV, it's it just seems so pervasive. Um, public defender, by the way, is what I was talking about earlier when I can't remember what a public lawyer was. Yeah, public defender. But, you know, it's all about mindset. And anything that you do, you go into it with the right mindset, and you're gonna earn with the mindset that you're gonna earn whatever it is you're looking to accomplish. And know that it's not gonna be just handed to you. You're gonna have to perform. There are gonna be some expectations, you're gonna have to earn that. You can't just say, but I've been doing this for 10 years, I've dedicated 10 years of my life for this, and I'm not where I want to be. Well, whose fault is that? Mindset. Mindset will take care of this all. And it can be a great way to look at and deal with entitlement. Because I think on some level, we're all guilty of thinking that we're entitled to maybe a little bit more than we actually are. So it's a human thing, has been for decades. But that's it for this edition of The Truth Behind the Truth. Again, thank you for tuning in. We certainly appreciate it. And we will see you with a brand new episode next week. I'm Jonathan Prell, and this is the truth behind the truth.