Episode 4: An Attitude of Gratitude

 In this episode, we’re talking about gratitude — not just as a feeling, but as a mindset that can reshape how we see the world. Drawing inspiration from Ted Lasso, we explore how choosing gratitude can shift perspective, empower your thoughts, and remind you that optimism isn’t naïve — it’s courageous. When you start noticing what’s good, even in the small moments, you begin to change the way you think, create, and live. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:12

All right, what's going on, everybody? Welcome to another episode of the Daydreamers Podcast. My name is Esteban. And for those of you who haven't tuned into any episodes, and this is your very first time tuning in, welcome. Happy to have you. Happy you heard about it. And I'm excited for you to tune into this conversation and this dialogue. Thank you to everybody who's supported the last couple of episodes. It's been a really good set of topics we've talked about, lots of great references and stories, and I'm excited to continue that uh momentum in this episode and the topic that we have for today. Um, and also just to give, you know, I like to give some transparency here. I'm sure I'm recording this episode in the evening. It's nighttime, it's a lot more relaxed. We got the Dodger game going on. Go Dodgers, by the way. I am a huge Dodgers fan. This is a Dodgers household here, just put it out there. Um, although I will say the game we're watching right now, they are losing, unfortunately. But it's still the eighth inning. The game's not over till it's over, you know what I mean? Anyways, it's nice chill vibes, just had some hot tea, and I'm glad to be uh talking to all of y'all. And now another thing that I want to say too, um, that I'm I was really happy to hear about after I put out the last episode. You know, we've been talking a little bit about different topics, and sometimes some of the same, you know, lingering messages come up, or even just some of the similar, you know, ways of thinking, you know, obviously positive thinking or things that are motivational, things that are more or less just pretty motivating in one aspect or another. Um, but one thing that came up after the last episode was I was actually sitting down uh with uh some family members, and it was just talking about the fact that, you know, sometimes no matter what kind of story we're telling, no matter what kind of memory we're going back to, or just different things that we think about in our life, sometimes a lot of these moments that might seem very different on the surface have a lot more in common in terms of what we can take away from them. And I feel like that's just a cool way of looking at your entire life. You know what I mean? I think a lot of us feel like we're so individual and unique, which we are in terms of who we are on the inside, but in terms of what happens to us in life, you know, good, bad, or indifferent, I feel like we often feel like when something very, at least that seems very odd or very like, of course, this would only happen to me. I think we would all be surprised how many people have that exact same moment with some of those same exact experiences. And I just bring that up to say, like, anytime you, you know, next time you feel like you're in a really weird situation, whether it's just very random or it's very, you know, painful or difficult to get through, there's probably at least a few other people, um, a lot closer to you than you think, too, that are probably dealing with the same thing or have dealt with the same thing before. So you're you're not alone. No matter what you're going through, you're not alone. Um, and I'm gonna tie that back to something that we're gonna actually address later in this episode. Um, but that's neither here nor there. Again, so happy for any of you that are tuning in. Um, also, there's gonna be some more content on the way. I do want to put that out there too. Um, you know, on the Daydreamers Podcast uh Instagram page, I want to build, be able to build this engagement on a little bit more. So stay tuned for that. I want to learn more about each and every one of you that listen, some of the content, some of the entertainment that all of you like to enjoy. Um, again, as much as I'm a you know a big movie fan, especially, and I've gotten to watch my share of TV shows, love lots of different types of music. I know there is so much that uh I haven't gotten to experience yet. Uh you know, whether it is watching it, hearing it, a little bit of both. So I'm excited and and and very open-minded to get more of that from all of you. Um so again, stay tuned for that. Also, I know this episode is being released, uh, at least it's set to be released a bit a day later than usual. I I am trying to keep the Monday releases for the most part, so everybody's got it at the start to their week. They want to get early on that commute and get this going. I love to be able to provide uh something, at least even in the background for you. Um, but again, to tell you a little bit about my life, I'm starting a new job. So I'm just, you know, I was getting acclimated for that this this past weekend. And so, you know, getting in the groove of everything, getting back into a rhythm. Uh, I'm a commuter myself too. So I've been a commuter for a few years with different jobs that I've had. So nonetheless, um, thank you everybody for your patience on that. Now, what I wanted to talk about in this episode, and again, every week, just to kind of let you all in on a little bit into what my process is when I'm picking topics, it's really not all that complex. It's nothing too crazy, but you know, I know I've had so many topics over the years that I've gotten to hear cool stories about or things that have kind of registered in my head as really cool lessons in life that, you know, have meant a lot to me and that I've seen reflected in a lot of the people around me, you know, and and all of us have learned it in our own way, and and really, you know, again, very special things to think about. Um, and I have this running list, right, of different things that whenever I think about something when I'm out and about, um, going about my day, and I think about, you know, uh a really cool motivational topic or a life lesson that, you know, is probably pretty relatable for a lot of people. I I keep this running list and then I think, you know what? Based on what's been going on around me lately, not just in my own life experience, but just people around me too, or things that I've heard talked, you know, people talking about a lot, I figure, let me let me jump into something like that. Let me make it as as relevant but also as widespread as I can in terms of the topics. And, you know, I was actually sitting in the car with uh with my girlfriend when I started to put some of these topics together, and you know, I was just getting excited talking about it, and and we were thinking, you know, about all the cool things that we could touch on on this podcast. But then I remember just a few days before this recording, there was something in, you know, I watch a lot of interviews. I like watching a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff when it comes to movies, but also just in general, like you look at a lot of actors who play these very iconic characters, and then you get to see what they're like in real life, you know. So it kind of almost paints an even bigger picture of how talented some of these actors are, you know, when they really step outside of who they really are in their day-to-day life to become and embody these other characters. So, anyway, I have a huge fascination for that. And there's certain actors that are just also very well spoken, so I love to hear them talk, and especially those that had many years in the game, like they have such cool stories and very valuable lessons that you can tell they've taken from their personal life. And a lot of them have harsh upbringings and many things that they've carried with them. So I say all that to say I was remembering uh one of my favorite interviews. Um, it was uh an interview with Denzel Washington, and he was just talking a lot about you know what what has kept him, you know, what's kept help helped him keep his sanity through through working in the business, working in Hollywood and everything. And, you know, I'm paraphrasing here, but he starts to talk about some of the things that he holds near and dear to his you know moral values, and he says the very first thing he addresses is, you know, well, first I remember to have an attitude of gratitude. And when I heard him phrase it like that, I mean it speaks for itself, and it's a very, for the most part, obvious concept, which is just to be grateful. And we hear that from a lot of people all the time, you know, especially when we're having a rough day or we're having a rough period of something, we might have a loved one or a friend or somebody around us say, Hey, but be grateful for what you do have. You know, be grateful for for whatever life is throwing at you because it's for a reason. And look, I I will be the first to say that I wholeheartedly agree with that, but I will also wholeheartedly admit that sometimes in the heat of those moments or when you're right in the peak of your frustration, that is the last thing you want to hear. And it's not because the person that you're hearing it from is a bad person or that you can't stand them or anything like that. It's just in that moment sometimes, your frustration, you almost you're caught in the expression of whatever anger or frustration you have. So you want to be able to get all of it out, and you feel like it's an interruption that you just don't want in that process. Plus, on top of that, you almost feel like it's not you're not validated for what how you feel. You know, you don't want that to be taken away from you just by somebody saying, Oh, but be grateful. You know, flip that around. Don't hold on to that. And I think that's definitely one of those scenarios, in my opinion, where it's you know, two things can be true. I think whenever you do feel like, yeah, I'm I'm I'm really frustrated right now, valid. Hold on to that. That's okay, but just don't hold hold on to it any longer than you have to. And I think, you know, as as hard as it is to probably find that boundary or that line not to cross, I think the one of the key things is how far have you gone to express it where now it's not just an expression and a reactiveness that you're that you're letting out. Now it's a practice that you're putting into place that you don't need to. You're creating a habit of it now, just because somehow it it maybe is a is a short-term fix. You know, it's that instant gratification when it comes to you letting out your anger. And again, we've all been there. I think we're all guilty of that because sometimes just letting out some anger and frustration feels good. It feels like like a really healthy release sometimes. But then I think we start to kid ourselves after a while because we because we feel it that initial first time, we feel that it will continue to give us that. And that's not necessarily the case. You know, I think oftentimes it's it's almost kind of thinking about that concept, like the more you feed something, the more it's gonna stick around, right? And I think that frustration and gratitude both work that same way. You know, if you're frustrated about something and you continue to feed that frustration, well, that frustration is gonna get stronger and it's gonna stick around a lot longer. But if you feed that mentality of gratitude, gratitude's gonna kind of surround you a little bit more. It's gonna stick around more, it's gonna live more in your in your you know, everyday surroundings. And that's kind of the whole point, I think, of why sometimes it's important to know when to shift that perspective, when to shift that way of thinking. Now, kind of tying back to that interview that I was talking about with Denzel, which by the way, fun fact, his actual pronunciation of his name is Denzel. And I don't remember what interview he was doing, I just saw this recently that it he started saying Denzel because I believe his father's name also has his father has the same name, and he didn't want to be referred the same way his father was or identified as his father, so he just changed it to Denzel. Anyway, that's that's the gist of the story. Um, but anyway, going back to that interview, the other part that he talks about, and I love that he tied these concepts together, he says, Okay, you know, have an attitude of gratitude, and remember that whatever gift you have, remember where it comes from, and that on your last day you can't take it with you. Now, obviously, this implies some sort of a uh a belief in a higher power, what the afterlife may be like. And for those of you, some of you may listen, may be listening and may not necessarily have that uh, you know, practice or belief, and that's totally fine. Whatever the the practice for you might be um or belief that might be after your last day, it could it could mean that you know, after your last day, that's your last day, that's it. But I think the concept and the beauty of what he's saying is is really this it's the fact that you know we're born, and obviously with time we start to develop all kinds of personality traits and characteristics, our passions, our loves, our habits. And that can again be compiled from a number of things around us, right? And then as we get older and we get we know we mature and and we we we're full adults and we start you know doing our day-to-day, we realize that you know, as we build our identity out, that there's a lot that we get to carry as skills or gifts, passions, things that we can give to the world. Now, that can look like a number of things, right? Um, maybe the a hobby, you you're maybe you're artistic and you're able to paint or make music that touches other people in a way that you know few others can. Um maybe it's something as simple as you're a very you're a very big uh um builder. You're able to put furniture together, you're able to build um decorations that people love to you know put up in their homes. It reminds them of when they were growing up, or reminds them of somebody maybe a loved one that has passed. Um maybe you're really you're really good with cars and you help people get back on the road, you help them figure out what's wrong with their car. I mean, it could be any which way, right? And you can consider it a gift, a skill, a talent, whatever. But the point is how you choose to share that with the world, and again, many people do refer to it as a gift, it makes all the difference about what you leave behind after it's all said and done, after your last day. People talk about things like legacy or even just pure, you know, memory and impact as an individual. When Denzel uh you know says you can't take it with you on your last date, but you can leave it here, and it's about the impact you make. Whatever it is that you get to carry with you as an individual, that you get to give to the world in any uh way, shape, or form, it makes a difference in how you choose to live your life because once you recognize that, it's almost like the referring to the another episode, the you know, the whole Spider-Man concept with great power comes great responsibility. It becomes a responsibility, not because you have to carry it like a burden, but because you recognize that you can do some of those things. You can make someone's day better, you can really make an impact to an audience, you can move people in a way that you might not even know who they are, and they may have never met you, have never met you, but you somehow have changed their life now because of something that you chose to practice and you chose to share with the world. And the the last thing that he says in that interview is you know, you never see a U-Haul behind a hearse. And, you know, you think about, yeah, like that concept of really what only the only thing that stays behind after you're gone is just the the how you made people feel, the impact you made. And I tie this back to this notion and again the topic of an attitude of gratitude. The reason why I I'm bringing all of these other elements to this concept of being grateful is that being grateful is not necessarily an easy uh muscle to flex, right? And again, I I talk about being frustrated or being in the heat of the moment, but it's also something that is very neurological and scientific. You know, many people have said uh and you you know, uh neuroscientists, people that study the brain have have proven scientifically that the brain is literally incapable of feeling the sense of gratitude and frustration at the same time. They can't do both, the brain is incapable. And that even practicing uh a mentality of of gratitude helps shift the way the brain operates on a regular basis. You know, you you you um I I I can't I can't remember the exact scientific I'll have to I I'm gonna cheat here a little bit. I had some notes here. Um the impact that gratitude has on the brain. It's but it basically just activates a part of the brain that pretty much allows you to have more positive thinking, to be more productive. Um let me see here. Yeah, I'm probably not gonna find the exact term, but I I trust you can probably all take take my word for it that uh oh here we go. Gratitude activates the prefrontal cortex, the area responsible for decision making and empathy, leading to better emotional regulation and increased mental awareness. And the reason I wanted to make sure I found that is because that last part increasing mental awareness. Sometimes we really underestimate what our brain is capable of. Again, good, bad, or indifferent, but our brain is capable of doing so much for us, let alone for everybody else. Everybody else comes later in that equation. But what it does for us, and I feel like choosing to be grateful, even in the harshest of circumstances, it as a lot of people say, it builds character, but even further than that, you really start to again build muscle in a way, uh build the muscle in a way that you don't realize you it how powerful it is. It's it's like when you, you know, um, for those of you who do like to exercise and and you start, you know, you you try running for the first few times, and and you know, you're tired at first, obviously, it's very difficult. You know, if you haven't run before, you haven't run in a very long time, you know, your body's going through it, it's trying to keep up, or if you're weightlifting, or if you're you're you're you're cycling, or whatever the exercise might be. At first it's rough and you have to really push yourself. And even people say, oh, it's a mind game. You know, sometimes it's very mental, you know, to push yourself. But then sometimes, every once in a while, you'll have a workout or a session where you're running your cardio or whatever it is, and then you somehow get this wave of energy or this like second wind or whatever it is, and then you look at the end result of like how many miles you ran or for how long you lasted in the workout or whatever it is, and you surprise yourself. And I think about moments like that, that is just a small example of how we underestimate our mind. Because I think at the end of the day, our mind is what's really getting us through it, because our mind, our brain is what's telling us you can keep going, you're not done yet, you can do more, you're capable of more. And we don't necessarily hear all of those words in our brain, but that's the signal that's being sent to our body. Because the moment our brain starts telling our body uh you're done, you can't do it no more, stop, you're gonna hurt yourself. Our body eventually stops. That that connection is there no matter what, and it listens, it responds. So the way we underestimate sometimes is it's it's amazing because then we finally start to have that awareness, it's such an empowering feeling. I mean, I remember there was a time where man, I was so in my head. Um, and again, I know uh my my girlfriend probably even gets a little embarrassed sometimes. I brought her up every episode so far. Um, but you know, I I was in a place for a while where man, I I was single for a while, I didn't want to date anymore, and I, you know I was I wasn't really trying, I wasn't putting in any effort. And, you know, I had friends and and even family always asking and telling me maybe you should try this, try to go to this event, maybe try, and you know, one of the things I got suggestions about constantly was online dating. And I always thought like that's not for me. I'm old, I grew up, you know, I feel like I'm an old soul, I'm old-fashioned, maybe that's not necessarily my style, and so I never really you know got got into that until I had a couple of friends of mine, close friends of mine, who had brought it up uh while we were having out having dinner, and then simultaneously that same day, um some of my immediate family, shout out to my mom and my sister, um, who I value their opinion very much, also brought it up the exact same day. Why don't you try online dating? And I remember obviously it stood out to me that like what are the odds that I have multiple people on the same day giving me the same suggestion about putting myself back out there. But I remember it wasn't just a suggestion that really helped change my mindset, it was the fact that I thought to myself, you know what? I have people, I have people suggesting these things to me, you know, trying trying to look out for me. Man, how lucky am I that I still have people who are still trying to get me out there, even when I don't feel like it? And also, how lucky am I that I'm still at a young age where I can try to do those things, even if I don't feel like it. You know, sometimes in a way the online dating is a blessing for a lot of us who might be, you know, insecure or socially awkward or just maybe very unsure of what we want because it allows us to kind of do things behind the scenes first. You know, we get to take the first step, but it's that's maybe a little less risky, right? And I felt lucky to be able to do that. And I remember when that was my mentality, that's when I finally felt good about taking that step and saying, Man, screw it, let's just see what happens. And sure enough, I mean the story writes itself pretty much from there. I try it, I have it. I account literally I I tried uh um uh uh creating my profile. Two days later, I match with somebody. The very first match I have is now sitting next to me, and we've been dating for nearly two years now. But I again I I I bring that example up to say like that was. the the shift in my mindset because of those around me as well but just the idea that like wow i i'm i'm lucky to have this opportunity or to have these uh methods of being able to put myself back out there to do something for me but to also you know potentially do something good you know that that that that might not just be good for me maybe good for on the other side of whoever I get to know and and thankfully it was and I'm grateful for that every day since we both are um but I I also want to say that you know that that's that's one type of situation where gratitude kind of kicks in and it's a more lighthearted one I'm I'm very aware of that a lot of times having a sense of mental awareness and what we're capable of is very hard when we're in a really heavy situation right um and heavy sad painful that that in a way can be subjective too that can be different for everybody for some of us it's it's losing a loved one and for some of us it's maybe trying to get this job that we've been fighting for for months and then it doesn't work out somebody else gets it. We enter a competition of something that really mattered a lot to us and then we we get to the last phase or the you know the final um level championship whatever and it doesn't work out and whatever the situation is we know how hard it hits us how sad we feel how low we might feel how depressed we might feel and also how long that feeling can last sometimes and again we get so caught up in that because it's real to us and it there's sometimes very very little room for us to try to find that that spot for gratitude to be placed right there. And yet sometimes you hear really cool stories and again it's just how you look at the situation I know I I personally haven't lost a many people that have been close to me in my family but I have had quite a bit of friends and family who have lost someone very close and near and dear to them. And what I will say one thing that I love to try to catch and point out because I I noticed this at one particular um uh viewing and and funeral for someone that all the people that went up and spoke about the person who had passed they all had some sort of lighthearted funny story about them and saying how much they appreciated having that memory of that person. And I remember you know you when you watch TV or or you watch movies you know a lot of times funerals and and and and or or um situations like that can be depicted as a very sad very heavy um situation. So it's very hard to associate that with laughter or with joy sometimes it even feels inappropriate. You grow up in a household where again it's old fashioned you don't you're not supposed to have those things tied together. And then I remember that day I was at this this funeral and there was all these lighthearted stories all these laughable uh you know funny memories and I remember the joy it brought in that room it didn't change the circumstance it didn't change how heavy it was for people people were still shedding real tears but there was that touch of joy there was that touch of almost that feeling of hope like yes this is a sad hard situation for everybody in this room especially to those that were close to that person. And yet life moves on and that's okay. Nobody necessarily has to feel guilty or has to feel that we don't deserve to be able to still enjoy life just because this person is gone. If anything we get to honor people who have passed by having that mindset. And when I saw that shift in that sort of environment I thought well I mean in other situations it should only be that much more available to us. Not necessarily easier because again that's subjective to everybody in their in their respective situations but it's more available to us and that kind of brings me to you know I I think you know as I mentioned before I love tying in some form of entertainment that reflects and depicts this this topic and you know there's tons of movies and characters that you could find as as you're you know maybe even going through some of your favorites where you see a character who's very lighthearted very grateful for what they have they don't necessarily let even the worst of circumstances bring them down for too long you know or or or too severely and they're the character that kind of keeps the hope in a lot of these situations right and you know it looks very different for all kinds of different stories and you know I I remember I was kind of even trying to trickle down like okay what movie can I pull apart? I feel there were just too many you know I thought about you know I talked about Spider-Man too a couple episodes ago and his Aunt May she's a character that's grateful for what she has no matter what's going on. Then I thought about even like there's characters that aren't necessarily even human characters but like I was thinking about Star Wars the other day and I thought man you know you look at some of the droid characters like C3PO and R2D2 those characters they're just they're just there for the ride you know they're they're there to kind of help out and they can kind of make a joke in any situation. They're also like the comic relief for us as the audience watching those movies. So there's reminders everywhere that there's always somebody in the room that can kind of make a lighthearted situation out of any of it end of anything. And we all even have probably at least one friend who is that person no matter how serious the situation is supposed to be no matter how um down everybody's supposed to be in this you know circumstance there's always that one person that can kind of bring a laugh and somebody said maybe it doesn't even feel appropriate but at the end of the day you're you're grateful to have somebody like that. And then I kept thinking about gosh what's a really good character to talk about and when I started thinking about that I was like okay it's a no-brainer and I've talked about this show before it's one of my favorite shows um that my girlfriend and I both were introduced to and we watched and it's still like we're already talking about watching it again um the show's Ted Lasso again if any of you have not seen this show and you like anything that's like you know a feel good show or whatever please make time to watch this show you will not regret it. And the the main characters is Ted um who the show is named after and again he's an optimist like this guy he's an American he he goes to the uh to the UK to coach uh uh a football a soccer league and he knows nothing about the sport and he is such a a foreigner and in many aspects to what he's jumping into a lot of people there don't take him seriously especially at first because he's an American so he's looked at he's like what are you doing here you know you have no place here but he keeps that witty optimism the entire time from the day he gets started and it's it's really fun to watch because number one it's the fact that he has pretty much this like this really solid shield around him that no matter what kind of insult he gets he's able to just kind of brush it off and keep going but the one reason that he gets hired to even do this job is that he there's uh footage of him coaching of an American football team a team that hadn't won in like a couple of decades or something and then sure enough because he was who he was his first year coaching the team he took him all the way to the championship and they won. And it was this big deal about the fact that how how motive how good do you have to be to do something like that? How motive how motivating do you have to be which is why he gets hired in the first place. And the the really cool thing is throughout the show you start to see that he has his own personal issues going on as well but he has found a way and maybe he still has some demons that he's fighting or or or things that he's trying to you know traumas or whatever it might be to get through but he is finding a way to use that optimism to show gratitude for the opportunity that he's even able to go you know across the world to coach a football team and to meet all these great people to learn about the sport he always makes it about that and even if he doesn't understand things he's also very candid and very honest throughout the show people you know make references to the terms they use it the the slang they use in the UK and he goes yep that makes absolutely no sense I don't know why they say that but he still keeps it fun and he still embraces what he has that's literally the theme of the entire show he embraces what he has and he tries to do his very best especially being in a coach position to remind every single person around him to try to do the same even just an ounce of it and throughout the show you see how much he just lights up the entire locker room and it's it's very inspiring number one but it's also very it it almost makes you laugh because there's so many different uh players on the team that he's coaching they're all difficult in their own way and it's like he dedicates himself to try to unlock the the bitterness or the negativity out of some of these characters throughout the show. And so it's obviously a very funny watch but one episode in particular that I love is it's the in and spoilers I'm gonna put the spoiler warning right at this point in the podcast. So if you haven't seen the show and you don't want it spoiled for you this is the finale of season one so I don't want to spoil it for you so just be beware of that. But basically we're at the finale of the first season and in this final episode we have the the championship basically of their league but then the game that they're playing in is essentially to keep them in like the tier of the of the league that they're in and if they lose they have to drop down to a lower league. And I guess again that's all UK uh football rules that I'm not fully knowledgeable in either I only pretty much have the knowledge that I have from watching the show but point is high stakes in this game right and they like prepare for this game like crazy they all start at this point have they all feeding into what Ted has given them in terms of morality in terms of spirit and optimism and they're all very grateful for just to be able to play the sport the way they're playing with him. They put together trick plays and have all this fun and they damn near win the game and then they get to a point where I guess the rules dictate that hey all we need is a tie in this game and we stay in the league and then they tie the game with like a minute left in the game and they're all celebrating they're super happy the joy is you know couldn't be higher and then suddenly in the last few seconds the opposing team scores and they don't even have a tie. They lose the game and then suddenly like it goes quiet they've lost all chances of staying in that league they get demoted essentially in their in their Premier League and it's like a really sad moment. It's devastating for everyone Ted even feels the weight of like damn we couldn't you know we couldn't get there and then you know it comes time where post game he gets everyone together in the locker room and kind of gives a speech as he usually does after every game and the speech that he gives is really nice because he doesn't necessarily come with like the full like wittiness and like optimism like guys it's okay I'm gonna pretend that it's all good. He kind of changes it up a little bit he he he sits in the reality of what's going on first. He looks around and recognizes that this sucks and it's devastating it's really difficult for a lot of people to be able to swallow that pill and just be okay with the fact that they just got demoted and everyone's going to talk about the fact that it's because this American coach stepped in to coach them for the very first time and it's just a lot of negativity that has the potential to surround this entire situation. But he kind of sits there and he starts looking around the locker room and then he kind of starts to figure out okay I think I know what I'm gonna tell everybody. And what I love about the message here and it surrounds gratitude but also just perspective and again that concept of two things can be true. So he basically looks at everybody and and mind you the there's a lot going on with some of the players too like you have a veteran player on the team who has just played his last game so he's devastated it's it's it's it's it's a farewell for him in a way as a player and and he's you know very frustrated about that and Ted is even looking at his career he thinks you know I just blew the entire league for this team I'm probably not going to have a job in next season and he already kind of has that on the backburner of his mind and yet he he has this moment where he looks at everybody in the locker room and he says and I'm again I'm paraphrasing here but he says you know I there's nothing I can do to take away how you all feel and you know but he starts giving props to a couple of the players and then he says but you know what I want you all to be proud obviously of how you played but I also want you to look around at everybody in this locker room because every single one of you needs to recognize that you you all feel what you feel and it's okay to feel sad. He goes but let me tell you something there's only one thing worse than being sad and it's being alone and being sad. And I want to be sure every single one of you knows that none of you are alone and so I want all of you to be sad together to share that with each other and then we keep things going. And I think that is the perfect embodiment of yes, the reality is the reality and nobody should invalidate how it makes you feel personally if you just went through a crappy situation nobody should tell you how to feel about it because only we develop those feelings only we derive those feelings from something that's personal to us. But at the same time the same way that we individually have those associations with those feelings that we feel that we have the right to feel those things we also have that same responsibility and that power to say okay but we don't got to get stuck there. Nobody else can pull us out of it truly but us individually because nobody knows those emotions better those attachments and those associations any better no one is better equipped to pull you out of it than you and one of the most powerful tools to do that is being grateful for the situation that you're in and again it's cliche a lot of times we don't want to hear it but I guarantee you anytime you sit there and you start to calculate or to put together a list of all the things that you are grateful for to have at any given moment in your life I guarantee you that list is going to make you feel a lot richer than you were a few seconds before you started putting that list together. Guaranteed the only thing that stops us from doing that is the fact that we feel there's no value in putting a list like that together. But I promise you even now let's say you're not in a bad situation you're just you're getting up in the morning you're getting ready for bed maybe you just had lunch dinner you just took a walk you just uh went to the store whatever it is that you're doing you're sitting in your car start to put together a list of five ten things that you're grateful for truly grateful for no matter how small no matter how mundane and regular they might seem I guarantee you you might find a lot more in your like pop into your mind than whatever number you try to set that list to that in and of itself is a huge win because now you're realizing you have a lot more to be grateful for than maybe you thought about and maybe it's just you haven't taken inventory in a while and that gratitude will take you so much further than any frustration you might have about any situation that is valid but it's not more powerful. So if there's any takeaway out of all of this and all of the different you know references or perspectives and even you know situations that you can take gratitude away as a powerful tool it's that each and every one of us doesn't necessarily have to go find gratitude. We just have to find a way to flex it and to put it more into practice when it comes to the way we think about things. Because we've all felt gratitude at one point in our life even if it was for something silly you know I mean we all have things that are super silly and random that we're grateful for I mean today I was grateful for the fact that uh I you know lately I haven't been doing great in my parking jobs uh some of my family and friends can attest to this I haven't been parking perfectly in the lines today I I went to work and I parked perfectly between two cars in the middle of the lines and I saw oh I thought to myself wow that was a hell of a parking job that's pretty cool did that change my life probably not but that way of thinking does because then maybe I walk into the elevator and I think to myself you know what I'm walking to the elevator to get to my job and you know I I don't necessarily love elevators I don't have an affinity for them oh but you know what though I can be patient here I'm in a grateful mood this elevator's taking a second but it's all good all right now I'm in the elevator I'm going to work oh dang it feels good outside I'm grateful for that oh I got straight into the office building it was my first day but I knew where to go I'm grateful for that oh somebody told me where something was when I was looking for it grateful for that again you take that inventory and let's be honest we all feel better about what's in our possession when we've taken inventory we know where it is and how to access it that is the absolute most efficient and most empowering way for us to use what's in our inventory to our benefit and to recognize when we can use it how much of it we have the capacity we have for it and again the more successful we are to use it the more of a habit we build I mean the more we will naturally fall into that practice and we will always be grateful to you and have that available to us. So if you can after this as soon as you turn this off if you even made it this far I appreciate you um as soon as you turn this episode off find something to be grateful for and heck even if you can go let somebody know how grateful you are for them or let them know what you are grateful for. Just to share it with somebody that stuff's contagious and it's a beautiful thing to always have and as you all know I am eternally grateful for each and every one of you who listens here gives me the time of day again for those of you who know how much I talk you don't know how grateful I am that you still sit here and listen to me for 40 45 minutes just to talk about all kinds of other random things and um but I am grateful. And I hope you all find something to be grateful for that you continue to build that list of yours to take that inventory and yeah even if you know what I'll tell you what let me know in my in my comments or in my DMs whenever you get a chance tell me something you're grateful for. I would love to hear about it. I think that's it. I think that's it for today's uh for for this episode so an attitude of gratitude everybody please carry that with you any way that you can um always as a reminder please let me know what you thought of the episode what you want to hear about what reference did you like um are you gonna check out Ted Lasso which again I think you should um are there any other movies or TV shows characters um that that that that embody gratitude and and that reminds you of a healthy mindset whatever it might be let me know I would love to hear about it but um thank you to everybody for listening I can't wait to have you all tune in for the next episode and otherwise y'all have a good one take care much love and I'll talk to you in the next episode