Episode 7: Healing Through Community

As we continue to honor Mental Health Awareness Month, in this episode, we dive into the subject of COMMUNITY. We all know what it means to have people in our corner, as we navigate any of life's challenges and hard times. We often feel alone in our struggles because they feel unique to us....and that is VALID. However, we can choose to embrace the help of others, because we often find it difficult to take care of ourselves. Throughout this episode, I want everyone to think about the steps you can take to improve the care you apply to your own life. As we think about how our communities have helped us overcome and achieve, I hope this conversation opens your mind to seeking help when times are tough, accepting that help when you can, & embrace the community that you've built!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:12

All right, what's going on, everybody? Welcome back to the Daydreamers Podcast. My name is Esteban. And uh, for those of you who are new, once again, welcome. Happy to have you. However, you got here, however, you heard about me, or maybe you just happen to stumble across this podcast altogether. In any case, I'm happy that you're here. Um, episode seven, this is episode seven. I'm very happy to be able to dive into some of the subjects for this particular episode for quite a few different reasons. I mean, I I will say right now we're in a little bit of a theme here, given that it's May, it's mental health awareness month, and there's lots of great topics to be able to dive into just in that sense, um, and lots of very relevant topics and stories. But also I I did find myself kind of in a cool, fun advantage because it was also a bit of a challenge to say, okay, what um pieces of entertainment can I pull from that are, you know, surrounding uh the subject of mental health or or or that help tell certain stories through the idea of building on mental health or the struggles of mental health. Um and I will say, even a couple of episodes ago, uh if I'm remembering correctly, now I'm I'm already forgetting which what order was what, but I know a couple of episodes ago I was able to speak about um the weekend, the the music artist the weekend. Um and again, for those of you who don't know, uh the the big subject, a lot of what I I spoke about, you know, was in relevance to how his trajectory, like his dis discography, excuse me, um, all the music that he's played was kind of telling a story of all the struggles he went through in life, and then finally released an album at some point in his career that was much more about healing and and and what that process is like if for you know for him, and also just to kind of tell a more um broad story about what it might look like for a lot of other people who might be going through similar situations. And I didn't even realize that that was coming out around the time that we were jumping into Mental Health Awareness Month. So, anyway, um I'm sure a lot of you can think of maybe movies, TV shows, or even albums where um either it kind of reflected something that spoke to you in terms of your mental health or or or just something that you found very valuable or that meant a lot to you. Um, or even just kind of helped you looked at things a little bit differently, or was just an interesting story to you and an interesting topic to look at. I know sometimes too we we seek out things and and and often it can be within like the entertainment space, whether it's movies, TV shows, and music. Um, or you know, I I know that's kind of where I stay in as far as my lane in this podcast, but even like a book or maybe certain uh hobbies or practices that you have to express yourself, you know, a lot of times that's kind of what we start to find our way headed towards in order to kind of help manage and deal with some of the things that we don't know how to explain or that are just kind of weighing heavy on us. And um sometimes that's why, even for me, talking about some of how entertainment ties to some of these really cool subjects is because art really does always seem to be a reflection of reality, and sometimes us being able to relate to stuff, even if it seems far-fetched or unrealistic, or it's just very, you know, it's heavily fictional, it still allows us to kind of connect to something so we don't feel that we're doing it alone, or we feel like we're we're at least not the only one. So it's not so much that I can beat myself up because I'm going through something, it's something that might have happened to other people, and that doesn't make it a um an end-all be-all situation or something that I'm gonna be stuck in forever. So, in any case, um, you know, I I was very excited to be able to dive into a couple of different subjects within the mental health um space, and especially thinking about, excuse me, you know, some of the the pieces of entertainment that that really tell really cool stories. And um, you know, the more it I don't know if, especially for any of you that are like really into movies or TV shows, if you really think about a lot of different characters or um stories that are told where you realize the character at some point is really going through something. And we as an audience, when we're watching a movie or a TV show, we're kind of watching what the story is for this character or characters, you know, we we get every glimpse into what they're thinking, maybe what they're feeling, and like any process they're they're they're going through in their head as they're trying to figure out an issue or solve a problem. But that's not real life, right? The majority of the time we walk through life and we don't know what anybody's dealing with, we don't know what their thought process is. We only get what's at the surface most of the time. And and that includes, you know, it in the reverse, where anybody that sees us on the street or at work or at the store or wherever you are, and they don't know us well or they're not speaking to us, 99% of those people have no idea what you're dealing with, what you've got on your mind, what you're struggling with. And there's something about that idea that it yes, it's something to keep in mind in terms of when people might place judgment on you, or sometimes you're placing judgment on someone else because you're only taking what you have at the surface, um, you know, what's at face value, and it's not always an accurate representation of how to judge that person or what to know about that person. Um, and the same thing happens to us. But I think because it's a common thing for everybody to be maybe misinterpreted or not have the full picture or full story being told from you know, again, from face value, something about that you kind of it should unite us a little bit more, us being aware of that. And again, it it helps you feel like you're not alone, but I think it also helps us understand other people sometimes. And and I I think, you know, especially when any of us are at a time where we're really dealing with something that weighs heavy on us that we feel like we're not seeing any end to it. Uh, you know, it's it's hard to also be in a position where, okay, I'm going through something, and I can also sympathize with other people or understand that other people are going through their own stuff too. That's a very difficult thing to be able to do simultaneously because a lot of times we've already accepted that we have very little capacity to do anything because we're dealing with some really tough, excuse my language, some tough shit. And so, you know, I think the bottom line there is you just have to accept that life is gonna put you in certain circumstances, you're gonna encounter certain circumstances that yes, they're tough, and yes, they validate you sometimes not having your best day, but that's gonna happen to everybody, including the people that you're gonna encounter on a regular basis. Maybe the person you that's making your coffee at the coffee shop, or um, if you get into an Uber or Lyft and you get you have a driver, what that what that driver is dealing with. Um, maybe a customer or somebody that you're serving at work, um, your bank teller, your barber, anybody you might encounter. You know, it there's an importance, there's a significance to understanding that they might all be dealing with something too. It doesn't invalidate, it doesn't mean that you have to put your stuff aside to try to understand what they're dealing with, but it also means that being mindful of that can make a huge difference in where your day goes and where their day goes. Um so anyway, I think I think that, you know, and and I've encountered it many times where you know I I start to place judgment on somebody silently in my head and and then catch myself like, damn, I really didn't need to do that. Or maybe that's a little harsh, or maybe that's probably not even what that person is dealing with. And it all comes from this unfair assessment now that you've made of somebody else. And the reason I'm kind of harping on this a little bit, if I'm being completely honest, I feel like we do it so nonchalantly as people. And again, I think even probably a lot of the time, we don't mean any harm when we do it, but it's just our brain is evaluating everything that we see in someone else's life based on maybe our capacity to have handled similar situations or what we've dealt with, or sometimes we even assume that maybe our situation is tougher than a lot of other people's. And I gosh, I can't remember where this originated from. I want to say my girlfriend was telling me this. Um, because she works in the in the space of of mental health, and and and you know, she's a mental health professional in that space of social work, and she's something that maybe I think her colleagues were talking about at work, but basically talking about if you were to sit in a room full of strangers and you all were to write down on a piece of paper the all the issues or difficulties or challenges that you have in life, the burdens, whatever it might be, that you're carrying, and you were to fold it up in a piece of paper and you were all to throw that into a uh a jar or a hat, whatever, whatever the the you're picturing in your head as I'm telling you this, you do that. How mindful would you be about? Like, would you want to get your challenges and tough times back? Or would you be willing to take the gamble and maybe take someone else's? And even that alone makes you wonder. You know, it's so easy for us to think about worst-case scenarios for our life. It's even easier for us to picture it with somebody that we don't know because we have no clue what they're dealing with, what they've been through, what their environment is like at home, you know, what traumas they might be carrying, um, what disadvantages they've had in their life. Really makes you think. Um, but sometimes it's only those high pressure situations that makes us think about that. And so um, you know, again, I I I really am putting an emphasis on this because you also, I mean, guys, let's let's just keep it real too. We all know when we've had a really, really crappy day, and we don't know what to do with ourselves, we feel like the world is against us, everything is weighing heavy, even this the stuff that's has got nothing to do with us, that's just Monday everyday shit, and all of a sudden we just feel like everything's against us, and then somebody comes along, and maybe they're noticing that you're having a day, maybe they have no idea, and somehow they add a little positive to all the other stuff that's been going on. Even if it's something as simple as, hey, I I like your outfit. You look clean, you look good, nice. Or, hey, uh, thank you, you're at work and somebody thanks you for something you did for them even weeks ago, and they just happen to stumble across you and say thank you. Um or someone just says, Hey, just want you to know, uh, I appreciate you. Whatever that that m you know act of kindness or you know, however it showed up, you something about that it's like a it it's hard to explain. Like it hits you all at once in such a very almost like a butterflies kind of feeling, where you're just like, wow. Or even sometimes it just stops and makes you think. Like, yes, I'm in a I'm in a pretty tough situation, but wow, it can't all be bad if I've got somebody coming up to me and saying something like that. That's that's gotta count for something. Or you just sometimes the emotion gets the best of you, and you're like, like, what how can I be mad now? Somebody said something so sweet, so kind, so thoughtful. Um and I think we sometimes forget what our capacity or capability is to do that for somebody else because it costs us absolutely nothing. Like guys, it it it really isn't difficult. Sometimes we might see that somebody is a little quiet to themselves, going through it, um, maybe having a bad day at work, and it can just take two seconds and but a couple of breaths breaths, excuse me, out of your body to just say, Hey, hang in there, you'll be alright. Or just to give a compliment and say, Hey, man, you dress really good. Or, hey, I like your shoes. Hey, I like the I like your glasses, I like it, I like the hat you're wearing. And really just with the intention to say, you know what, it might have done nothing, but it might have done a little something. And it cost me nothing. I get to just keep walking away and going about my business. You don't have to carry the weight of it, but that person might have now just changed their entire day and their perspective on how they're gonna manage their situation because of something like that. Kind of snaps you out of it a little bit sometimes too, and that can always be helpful. I think sometimes it's like you know, we even see like tough love when we get it from some of our like family or friends. Sometimes we just need it just for the sake of, hey, let me snap you out of it because you're stuck there, and and that can be very valuable. Um you know what what I'm kind of getting to here as well is like, you know, when you're going through difficult situations, especially when the foundation of whatever trouble you're dealing with is in your head, right? Like we've all had, even if even if it's not like a mental disorder or anything severe like that, but it's just something as simple as like for me, I'll give you an example. I'm a huge overthinker. I overthink everything. And everyone that's close to me in my life has seen where what kind of crazy directions that I can take myself in because I get so caught up in overthinking everything. And it's often very difficult like to temper those expectations. You start to put in your head of like, but what if it's this, what if it's that? Well, if I'm assuming this now, does that mean that now I'm gonna change how I'm gonna do things? Like it things start to pile on very quickly, and that can happen to me very often. When an issue like that starts just in your head, and nobody else around you is even aware that this is starting to percolate, it's hard for anyone else to catch it right away, right? So, you know, oftentimes it's it's that thing where you have to almost accept that there's something going on and to open that door to welcome someone else to help you, especially if you feel like you need it. Because, yes, I I you know, there's a lot of people that would would argue or would say that you need to build a sense of like mental fortitude, like you gotta, you gotta build some strong discipline, mental discipline, in order to not let certain things you know get the best of you, or to not have so many, you know, uh things that weigh heavy on you. And I agree, I think that that is something that is very key to build on and to develop over time and through many of life's experiences. Like that's such a valuable tool that you get to build on, and you get to customize it exactly the way that it best suits you for the things that you have going on in your life. However, not everybody's at the same starting point when it comes to that. Not everybody's making the same amount of progress or moving at the same pace to develop those kinds of skills. So, because of that, a lot of what allows us to grow in that space, to build that toolkit, if you want to call it that, is we also learn from other people. And it's not, you know, when you learn from other people, it's not just asking them like, hey, I noticed you have this issue. Can you answer X, Y, and Z for me and how you figured this out? No, a lot of times you just observe, and you know, whether it's you observe them, you know, handling their own issues in their life, or even observing how they show up for you when you're going through a difficult time. But the key to that is how do you open yourself up to let other people in? And that's a very difficult thing. Don't get me wrong, that in and of itself is very challenging because you you want to be maybe particular about who you allow to see that vulnerable side of you, or to learn maybe something that is very, you know, near and dear to you that maybe you don't want to share with just anybody. Um maybe you know how some people might give you advice or try to take control of the situation for you, and that's not necessarily what you need. Or maybe you're looking for something specific, like some tough love, or somebody that's gonna tell you like it is, and you know the people in your life that can provide that for you, or can be the right people that you bring in. So, you know, even deciding that is is is challenging. But the principle of allowing other people to help you in those times, it does the very same thing as when you watch a movie or a TV show or you relate to a character and you start to see yourself drawn to them, drawn to them very powerfully and nonchalantly. If that's even a word, nonchalantly. But you you guys know what I mean. Um, but someone else helping you is the same thing. They're they're gonna try to relate to you, they're gonna try to reflect back to you some of the things that you might be dealing with, maybe how they've handled it in the past, maybe how they've seen other people handle it. Um, or even just to say, hey, I hear you, I see you with what you're dealing with, and you're gonna be alright. Because a lot of times, too, I think we're all afraid of judgment. You know, kind of like what I brought up earlier, like, you know, we we're so easy to judge other people, and it's probably a lot of people that judge us right away just based off of something they see at face value with us. And I think we're afraid of that a lot of the time when we're maybe thinking about seeking out help with whatever situations we might be dealing with. And you know, that that goes on many levels too. You know, it could be something as simple as I really want advice on something because I feel really uh conflicted, or maybe I feel really sad and I just want somebody to be there for me. It could be something as simple as that. You're contemplating what which one of your friends to talk to or family member, all the way to maybe you're afraid that you have or might you know be struggling with some sort of mental disorder, and you just don't know where to begin on how to get help. You know, do you want to tell certain people and people be aware of that journey that you're going you're about to you know go on? Or um do you maybe not know enough about the subject to know who to go to? Uh there's a lot of layers to that. And I think, I mean, look, you can see all the different things that I'm adding as elements of challenge to this situation. It shows how much of an overthinker I am. I'm speaking calm now, but when it's a really stressful situation, you can only imagine how my brain starts to process and split off into all these different things. Um, but in any case, you know, I think all of us too know that there's been a handful of times where it was maybe difficult, but we accepted help from someone, and I think we hardly ever regret it. Doesn't mean that that person always gives us what we need or what we want at that time, but at least we get a better sense of, oh, okay, I didn't think about something like that. Or I've I I feel a little more optimistic now about what I'm capable of doing, or uh maybe I just now know what not to do. I mean, the list goes on and on, but you've given something a chance that only could help you get closer to solving that problem or to overcoming whatever that challenge is. And you know, I I gotta be fully transparent too, and thinking about this subject of of uh you know mental health and and how to cope or manage some of these issues. I I how can I say this the right way? I I was trying to look inward on how I could relate to this or try to speak to this, but also you know, how can I use examples of of certain characters or or or or stories that have been told that probably would help explain it better than I ever could. Um, you know, and maybe there's a bias, maybe I have some something about watching this movie that I'm about to bring up that is what drew me to say this is a really good example of how to explain you know, explain that mentality to you. But I I I was able to to to s sift through a few different movies, and then it hit me all of a sudden. I was like, oh my gosh. And it was funny because my girlfriend and I, you know, we try to figure out what we're gonna watch. Like, you know, we kick back, we watch a few different things, you know. Usually, like right now is Dodger seasons, you Baseball, so we're watching the Dodger games whenever we're both home and and watching the games in the in the afternoon or evening. Um, you know, we've been binging a few shows here and there, and then we know watch a movie every once in a while. And my girlfriend for a while was saying, Oh, you know what, man, because we saw this film in theaters when it first came out about a year ago. She was like, I go, I want to watch this movie again. And she was talking about Thunderbolts, the Marvel film. And if you haven't seen it, uh, first of all, if you're a Marvel fan, you gotta watch it. It's not what you usually would expect out of a Marvel movie. Um it is a it is very different, not in necessarily how they tell the stories with the characters, but just the subject matter and like how they, you know, what the big conflict is and how they resolve the conflict. Um, but if you're not a Marvel fan, I still recommend this movie. And the only reason why is I feel like you could probably in five minutes get whatever context or background info you need on some of these characters, and everything else is kind of like you don't, it's not so much about the specific, you know, how it's connected to all the other Marvel movies and this and that. Yeah, that might add a little bit of entertainment value, but for the most part, you can still watch this movie solo and get the gist of what the message is. So I also want to say, for any of you who haven't seen it, spoilers ahead. I'm gonna talk about the movie pretty in pretty much from beginning to end, just in terms of details and certain things. Uh, I'll try to avoid it, but I just want to put the warning out there just in case uh I don't want to spoil it for anybody. Now, the this movie, it it's talks a lot about honestly, just in mental health in general, but you know, a lot of these Marvel movies, you have a character that maybe felt like they were done dirty at some point in their life by one of the heroes when they're you know in the past, and so they develop this villain arc of uh, you know, I gotta find redemption or I gotta get revenge or whatever. In this movie, as it is from the get-go, it it starts to tell the story about a lot of they're a lot of these Marvel characters in the movie, they're not necessarily heroes. They do, at the end of the day, like, if you want to say save the day or try to do the right thing, but they're all very complicated characters, you know. They're they're former assassins, you know, they're trained killers, they um maybe have had somewhat of a dark past, whether it was against their will or they did it voluntarily. Um they're not necessarily the cleanest at their job. They make a little bit of a mess of saving the day, you know, collateral damage, and they they've accepted a little bit more of the darker part of doing that kind of job. And they often, you know, show like a lot of these characters at the beginning of the film, you know, especially one in particular, the the main character, Yelena, uh, that she is which a lot of us find ourselves in a regular everyday life, finds herself in this like loop of, okay, I'm in this, I'm in this routine. Day in and day out, I get another job, I take it, I go, you know, uh, take whatever hostage I need to, or kill whoever I need to kill, or you know, whatever. And then she goes back home and feels like comes back home to nothing. And it's unfulfilling. It feels like there's something more out there for her, but she doesn't quite know how. And you think at this point, the the the conversation or the topic is just about wanting something more, wanting to be a hero. But in actuality, you start to realize like it's because this kind of work has weighed so heavy on her for so long that now she feels stuck, just wallowing in all of that trauma because she became a trained assassin as a very young child and went through a lot of traumatic experiences to gain the training and skills that she needed at a very young age. And then you know, the movie kind of shows clips of that here and there. Um, and you know, the government has been using a lot of these uh characters, the main characters in the movie, you know, through the government and and you know, kind of under-the-table jobs, and you know, using various different characters split through like the Marvel universe. And then you you find a point in this movie where, including the main character Yelena, they all pretty much get set on a mission, and when they get to that mission, they realize that the mission is actually to take out one of the other people the government was utilizing um to do all this dirty work, and they all start to realize it, and they get they they they're able to finally like kind of come to their senses, talk it out, and you know, escape the situation, and in the process, they encounter this other person that they none of them know who he is and what he's doing there. Um, but he was in the middle of this like very supposedly secret like vault. And that's like who is you know, who is this guy? What what's he what what's his purpose here? And he's very like innocent. Like they're asking him, like, who are you? My name is Bob. Uh he's not really saying much. And and then they they realize that he basically was being experimented on again as like an undercover, like under-the-table project, uh trying to experiment on humans to make them like superior, like give them powers pretty much. And they're but they're slowly figuring this out, and but something about him is also a little bit off, like not necessarily in a bad way, but he just seems a little mentally like all over the place, uh, like unstable, I guess. And then these characters realize that he was not supposed to survive, but he did, you know, all those experiments that he went through, and even the people that were responsible for experimenting on him, they figure it out and they realize, like, oh crap, like this person survived, which probably means that they, you know, something was successful about our experiments, and then you know, the the movie, as it is what one of these powers, I guess, that this character has, because it's basically highlighting that he has a mental disorder, and he's kind of got two sides to him, and he's dealing with this darker side of him that kind of slips out here and there, and because it's enhanced through whatever experiments he went through, it's like as an example, he when he makes like physical contact with somebody, he kind of reveals to them and takes them to a place in their head of like their most traumatic or like mentally jarring like moments or memories in their life, and they like just get suddenly transported there in their head, and like they don't even know physically what they're doing with their own bodies, like they just literally have an out-of-body experience, but like in the most traumatic way, and it's a reflection of what he's dealing with, and um one of my favorite things about this movie, you know, especially it being a Marvel movie, and how it kind of like starts to try to send this message, is that the characters as they find out about this Bob guy that you know with his powers and and everything he's able to do, they realize that he's not even fully aware of what's happening sometimes when when this dark stuff is happening. Like when it happens, it kind of just takes over him, and it he doesn't necessarily have control of it. And you know, there's a lot of things to be said about you know how you sometimes manage, like if you feel like you have a darker half to you, or you feel sometimes stuck in like this cycle of bad habits, you don't really know what to do with sometimes I don't know, like you almost don't know what to do with yourself if you feel like you can't even identify the problem, if that makes sense, and then other people let alone are gonna be able to help you through that, and so you kind of have these stress issues almost like nobody understands me, but I also don't understand me, so now I'm kind of stuck in this like cycle of like, well, I don't deserve the help, I can't get the help because I'm not capable of receiving the help because I don't know what to do, I don't know where to begin. And that's kind of where you kind of find his character a little bit. Um, this this Bob guy who who has who has now has these powers. Um, but you get closer to the end of the movie, and this man, this final sequence in the movie is I mean, it I it brings tears to my eyes every single time. But you know, again, as you've learned about all the characters having some of their mental, you know, what's what's been weighing heavy on them and some of the mental health, you know, issues they've been dealing with, they they come to a point where he kind of goes rogue with his powers. Um, he becomes a character called the Sentry. Um, but the Sentry has a good side to him that's basically almost like a Superman type character. He's pretty powerful, damn near invincible. But then the darker side to him, when that darker half of him takes over in his head, well, that part of him has powers as well. And in the comics, as far as I understand it, again, I am not a comic aficionado. I've learned very little just in watching all the Marvel movies and kind of watching behind-the-scenes stuff and hearing other people talk about it. But his the the good side of him is called the sentry, the bad side of him is called the void. And even in like the comics and in the movie, you know, the sentry, the good, the the good side of him, he's wearing bright gold as a you know, as his like superhero suit with a cape, and he's got clean cut hair, you know, clean cut like long hair or whatever. And then the void, he's just a black silhouette of himself, like no color, no facial expression either, like just literally the silhouette of his body. And that's how we see him in the movie, and he starts to do this thing where he holds his hand out, and people like if people that are close by within his reach, they suddenly just disappear and they like they like dissolve into like a shadow of themselves, and then you see that slowly happening throughout the movie, and you're wondering, like, is are like are they is he is is is he completely destroying them or are they disappearing? Like, what's going on? And finally, the main character, Yelena, she takes a chance because she sees a lot in him and what he might be dealing with and trying to be there for him. She just jumps into the to to you know, within arm's reach of him to just be taken and turned into another shadow, like all these other people are what's happening to them, and you know, people, you know, even some of the other heroes, they start to kind of bond. Because that's that's the other thing I didn't really touch on, is that all of these quote unquote like main characters that are like not really heroes, they're like outcasts, so none of them really fit in to like be a team with anybody, or you know, like they're the Avengers exist in this universe, but they none of them quite ever perfectly fit into that mold of like being like a a model hero that every you know society would have picked them for. Um, and they all have that in common. So kind of touching back earlier on the fact that like you see all these people, and they you know, we we all think we have unique problems, and and we all do to a degree in how we manage them, and we might judge other people based on like what we see at you know at face value. We all have something going on, and we all might misrepresent or misjudge some of those things, but because we all do that, we all have that in common, and we're more capable of doing things united in that sense or on that front than we realize. And in this case, again, looking at these characters, they all start to kind of form this unspoken like uh bond, like they're they're kind of becoming a team, and it's like it's it's almost like they're looking at each other like, oh, this is so corny, oh my gosh, and they're all annoyed with each other, but they're still finding a way to work together to get you know to eventually save the day. But anyway, cutting back to Yelena, the main character, you know, she she accepts her fate, gets turned into a shadow, which we don't know what that really means in the movie at the time, and all the other characters are kind of panicking because they think she's gone for good, and then suddenly you see her start to go through memories of some of the most traumatic things she's dealt with, and but she's having this out-of-body experience where she's seeing like her younger self going through some of these memories, and in that very first one, it's like you start to see that she's trying to figure out what to like what is even happening to her, what is she doing, and she's reliving these moments and she has to somehow make peace with them, like accept them for what they are. And when she does that for the first memory, she like is able to get through a wall and just basically jumps into another room. And the sequence starts to happen where you see her going from one room to another, every room is a different memory, and once she has accepted or like squashed the the weight that she was holding on to in that memory, she can move to another room, and she's constantly going through all these traumatic memories, and finally she finds a room where Bob, the innocent guy without the powers, is just sitting in there by himself. He's sitting in a room in an attic, it looks like, and yeah, he's just sitting in there and he's like, Oh, hey, how's it going? And it's you see the separation of like his dark side has taken over, and he's just taking a seat in the back, like just kind of with not much control, just letting it happen. And he he and he has this energy of like, yeah, it's it's just what happens, and uh, you know, just gotta let it be. I'm just happy I'm in a room that's a little bit more calm. Uh, the other rooms are a lot worse, and it's kind of hinting at the fact that he's also been going through that constantly because he's the one that, you know, it's they're almost like stuck in in his dark half, and and and the way that that character is like taking over everybody's dark past and dark memories. That's where they're all going, all these shadows that people are turning into, they're going, they're basically putting being put into their darkest self and or their darkest memories. And so Yelena, this main character, is excuse me, guys. I I drank some hot tea earlier, and I feel like my my digestive system is doing its job, so I apologize. Um But the main character, Yelena, she is realizing that she needs to get Bob out of there. He's stuck in his own head, basically, is the metaphor here. But sometimes, you know, we it and we all know this. Like some people we we might have grown up or had friends give us an advice when we're going through something difficult, like it mentally, and they just tell us, like, to get over it, to get past it, don't hold on to it, you'll be fine. Very simplistic one-liners that you know are designed to get us out of it. But then we kind of feel like, well, it's not that easy. You don't realize what's going on in my head or or what I got on my mind to get through all that. It's not that simple. And I feel like this in the movie is a metaphor for that. It's kind of like these characters are stuck in their darkest memories, and for them to truly find peace or get on the better side of things, they need to sometimes go back and accept or or or resolve in their own head, make peace with some of the most traumatic or difficult things that they've had go on in their life. And that's not always an easy thing. You know, this movie shows like physically, like, you know, uh the characters having to fight their way through these rooms, but mentally it's what we do when we're stuck in that space, and most people don't see that, and that's another thing that's beautiful is like we go through the sequence, and then the the ultimate like end fight is Bob fighting himself. He encounters his darker self in his head, and his darker self is fighting with him while he's like also trying to hurt and and like pin down all of the other uh characters because then what ends up happening is they're so afraid of what happened to Yelena that all the other characters, the outcasts, the thunderbolts, all these other characters also choose to jump in and let the the bad side, the void, make them shadows as well, and they end up in the same thing that she's dealing with. They all went through that same journey of like going through their dark memories and and their past to get to her, and they all end up on this same mission of trying to get Bob out of his own head. But they have to do it together, and that's a big thing, is now Bob has developed these friendships, people that care about him, people that want him to be on the better side of things, don't want him to be stuck, and they're showing up for him. They don't necessarily fully understand what he's dealing with, but it's so funny because then collectively, as a team, they decide, okay, Bob, we're getting you out of here. And they start taking him through his rooms, his trauma, his worst experiences, the dark times that he's been through. And they're helping him get through the rooms, they're talking, they're coaching him, they're actually physically fighting some things uh in these some of these rooms, some of these dark memories. And the one of the coolest things is that again, that final scene is he's fighting his darker self, who seems to be very powerful, um, and he's pinning down all the other characters, and then it's just Bob versus the void, the darker half, and he's fist fighting him, and eventually he starts to win. Bob starts to really beat down on his darker side, and the darker side starts to laugh at him because that's what he wants. He wants him to do it with vengeance, with hate in his heart. And Yelena and all the Thunderbolts, all the good characters, they they she realizes it, and she's like, No, this is and they all start to be like, This isn't right, like, no. And Yelena starts to break free and chase after him in this final room. And this room kind of represents when he was first being experimented on, and you know, uh a lot started to change in his life, and it was a lot of uncertainty for him because he didn't know what he was being experimented on, he was being fed lies you know by the government. So, anyway, that's the room he's in, and and and Yelena's trying to get to him to help him, and he's he's he's he's fighting his darker side as hard as he can, but then you start to see a shadow like slowly start to cover up his body because it's consuming him. His anger and his bitterness is consuming him. And we all know oftentimes we get caught up in our bitterness because of what we're dealing with, all you know, how tired we are, how exhausted and stressed we are with all the things that we have to manage that our, you know, whether it's hate or anger, frustration, depression, it all can starts to consume us, and sometimes it consumes us before it's too late, and then we're so stuck that it feels like there's no way out. But just before that shadow completely covers him, Yelena gets to him, and it's such a beautiful thing. She she just hugs him. She doesn't start trying to physically like you know hurt him or like really, really pull him back. She just starts to hug him, and as he continues to try to, you know, throw punches at this darker half of his she's just hugging him, and she just says, It's okay, I'm here. I'm here, you're not alone. And then the other characters slowly, one by one, start to join in on the same thing, and they're rushing to him, but not to fight, just to show him that they're there for him. And it was like the perfect embodiment of sometimes that's what we need to do for ourselves. But you know, when we're going through difficult times, as much as that's what we need to do for ourselves, you know, show ourselves love and care and compassion, even if it means that we're also building discipline, because this is the thing that I sometimes have a lot of difficulty with. On the one hand, again, and I said this at the beginning of the of the episode, that I I I understand the need for discipline and sometimes to push yourself out of uncomfortable situations, that you can't just have everybody coddle you or baby you to make you feel like everything's okay and everything's gonna be fine, and that's that. No, there's a there's a there's a mental toughness aspect there too. But to me, sometimes it takes a lot of strength to. Be vulnerable. It takes a lot of strength to welcome other people into whatever challenge or difficulty you're dealing with to help you get on the other side. It takes a lot of strength because it's it's not it it takes a certain level of bravery to open yourself up like that, to welcome that. Because that creates more uncertainty. You don't know if the other people are gonna around you are gonna be able to help you, but sometimes it takes a leap of faith, some trust, and that's not easy. That can weigh heavy on you too. If you trust someone and then it goes south, that can weigh heavy on you for a long time. So it takes bravery and strength to do those things too. So the two things can be true. And I bring it back to this example. Bob, who's got so many things that he's carrying, so many, you know, it shows that throughout the movie that he is shows glimpses of, you know, he grew up in a in an in a house where there was domestic abuse and and his parents fighting and you know, him dealing with uh um uh addiction to subs with substances and all these different things that he's carrying. And he never really knew how to take care of himself, and then he met this group of quote-unquote misfits or outcasts that have a lot of special abilities, but they're carrying their own weight, and they're starting to learn that showing up for him can make a big difference because they've already all started to kind of show up for themselves, even if they resented it. They started to form this team, this sense of community, and that's what allowed them to start to accomplish their mission and to be successful in what they were trying to accomplish because they weren't doing it alone. It was one of the first times they ever had to kind of team up with other people, even if they hated it. That's what allowed them to get to the next level or to the next step. And in this case, they all show up for Bob in a moment where he really needs it. And he, you know, he's he's so like even in the movie, the uh the actor Lewis uh Lewis Pullman, I think is his name, he does such a good job. I mean, you can see like he's he's crying while they're all hugging him because he's just in so much pain with everything he's dealt with, but he's but it's also healing for him because they're all there for him. And then finally it shows that they all fall back and he's back in the real world. He's escaped the dark part of his of his head or the darker side of him, but they all make it out together. He was able to do it because he had his community, his group of people, his tribe, his you know, whatever you want to call it. He had that, and that's what helped him get out. And the crazy part is in the movie, then he, you know, they it said, Hey, one of the characters looks at him and goes, Hey, nice, nice job in there, Bob. He goes, Oh, thanks. What happened? And he has no idea, and you're almost kind of like, Oh dang, like he has no idea how much they helped him, but at the same time, he's very grateful and smiling being next to them because even though he may not know what just happened, he's fully aware that he had people there for him that showed up for him, and that to me is the perfect embodiment of sometimes you don't know where to start, it can be uncomfortable, you can feel like there's no gain or or worth in it, but sometimes having people there in your circle, even if it's one or two people in your life that can help you through some of these things or that are your kind of solid foundation, your community, your home base, that is what can allow you to better understand yourself and to learn how to take care of yourself. You know, none of us are born with the ability to care for another person, and that also goes for how we care about ourselves. That's something that we learn through our life. And if we're lucky, we have loved ones, parents, siblings that help teach us that, family and friends that can teach us that through time. So it's a learning experience, it's a skill that we learn over time. And oftentimes, you know, people always say, you know, pressure makes diamonds. You know, oftentimes we grow the most in that space or we learn the most in that space when things are tough, when things are very difficult and challenging. And I think, you know, a lot of movies that we see where characters are kind of dealing with something very difficult, oftentimes they have somebody in their corner that eventually allows them to see a different perspective, to snap out of something, or to say, Oh, that's what I needed. Or man, thanks to that person in my life, I was able to get past X, Y, and Z. And so if there's any takeaway with me getting into such very specific detail, I hope I didn't lose anybody or put anybody to sleep with that. But, you know, watch the movie and you'll understand more of what I'm talking about. And you might even shed a couple of tears. No shame in that. Um, but I hope if there's any takeaway, it's to show that no matter how much you might feel like you're very unique in your struggle, or that no one else might understand, no one else is gonna know what it's like to walk in your shoes, but it's really up to you if you allow anyone else to at least try on those shoes to see maybe a little bit of what you're dealing with. They're not gonna know exactly what it is, but your best bet is to at least have people have somewhat of an idea, and maybe they can help. And again, that could be a friend, a family member, could be a professional, an expert in certain subjects. It could be somebody that maybe you just happen to trust on any given day when you feel like expressing yourself. But that's what can allow you to learn maybe a little bit more about how you can look after for yourself, you can give yourself a little grace, or you can push yourself in the right direction to say, that's what I gotta do to take care of me. So please understand and walk away just the way I did watching movies like this, that healing through a community and how important community is, how important it is to to help build the community around yourself, um, and when you have the capacity, be able to be a part of someone else's community when they need it. Um not to overextend and completely compromise yourself, but to simply be able to show up when you can. Um there's a clip from, and I'm gonna bring it up again, Ted Lasso, my favorite show. There's uh a clip in one of the episodes where a character that's typically known, uh Roy is his name, um, he's typically very like you know, gruff and like oh, I don't want to talk about my problems and this and that. Uh and he finally kind of goes to some of the characters, including Ted, who's like the optimistic guy and always has a one-liner for everything. Um but one of the characters in the in this little huddle of theirs in the in their talking tells him that you know, because he he Roy basically he's he's a character that feels like he's stuck in the way that he is. He wanted to grow, he wanted to become a better person, but he feels stuck, like he's he's always gonna be a jerk or whatever, uh, or a grumpy guy. And then um one of the characters who works for the team tells him, Yeah, you know what, Roy? I mean, all we can do is ask for help and accept it when we can. And as long as we keep trying to do that, we're always gonna be moving towards better. And that's what it's about. It's not about perfecting anything, it's not about solving something entirely so that we never have to deal with it again. It's simply about just trying to be a little bit better, and first and foremost for ourselves, and let alone for those around us, those that we care about, those that we love. Um I'll quote another Marvel movie that I think it's Doctor Strange, um, where one of the characters says, We don't learn uh what is what is it? I think it's something along the lines of we never learn to defeat our demons, we merely learn to live above them. And I mean, that's that's the golden ticket right there. It really is. Like, you're always gonna have the bad times, they're always gonna roll around. But your ability to manage them, the skills you've built to help not let them take over or take control of what you have going on in your life. That's that's the key. Because it's also very empowering to know that you have an ability to live above some of the worst moments you've ever had in your life or to make peace with them, to at least accept them for what they are, but knowing that you're still around. People always say, as cliche as it is, uh, you have survived 100% of your worst days. If you're listening to this right now, you have survived 100% of your worst days. Can't forget that. Because that means, no matter how difficult it was, somehow, somehow, you didn't give up. And you gotta let that be an empowering piece of the puzzle because then you know now that you have capabilities you maybe you weren't aware of yesterday or six months ago or a few years ago. So use it, use it to your advantage. And sometimes other people can help you gain a perspective on you know what, now I really know how to use this to my advantage. Now I really know how to empower myself with said skill or said experience. Because we're all human, we're all gonna go through stuff that we don't understand or we wish didn't happen, or we feel like it's a why me situation. And we're valid to those feelings. But it doesn't mean that we're by default now in a position where we can't figure it out or we can't manage it so that we can continue to move forward and still find good things in life. Just because a bad situation happens, it doesn't mean it deprives us of a good situation down the line. We can still make the choice to at least try to go get it and still try to find it. So, well, I I really hope you guys all go watch Thunderbolts. I really do. Um also I'm very excited because I, you know, in doing this podcast a few episodes now, I've obviously gotten to uh network a little bit, and even a couple of my friends who have have done you know all kinds of different things on social media or even a podcast. I have to give a shout out to um a really cool podcast that I've recently been able to listen in on. Uh a friend of mine, Miles and his buddy Christian. Uh what's up, you guys? Uh, shout out to you both. Uh, they have a podcast called the Sort of Interesting uh podcast. Highly recommend you go check it out, especially if you're uh a big a big movie person. Uh right now they're currently um, as I say, I'm gonna butcher it a little bit, but they're currently uh a full-time Marvel podcast, an MCU podcast, because right now they're going through all of the MCU um and Marvel films leading up to Avengers Doomsday. They're doing the review, they kind of break down the film, they talk about their um their reactions uh after rewatching it and and diving into you know doing a real deep dive into a lot of these movies. So if you're into that, definitely go check them out. Highly recommend. Um but I'm sure that some point they're probably gonna get to this movie. I'm not sure if it's on their uh on their list of uh films to review, but shout out to you guys. They they were they were kind enough to uh to to shout me out for a little snippet thing that I I I really you know I kind of realized about one of the movies there they were just talking about Iron Man 2. And so anyway, go check out their podcast, highly recommend. And um otherwise, you guys, I'm I'm I'm very happy that you made it to the end if you're still here. Um please continue to give me any feedback. I was able to collect quite a few questions on Instagram, by the way, so thank you for everybody who sent those in. Um, as I've mentioned before, I mentioned it on my story on IG that there is a bonus episode on the way uh where I'm gonna do just a QA. I'm gonna do some questions that uh I was I've already been given, might take a few uh in real time while I'm recording as well, uh to see if any more that come in. And that way I can kind of engage with all of you a little bit more. Get you can get to know more about me, I get to know more about you, and maybe some of the other things I can dive into, subjects that matter a lot to you. Uh, maybe even check out some of your recommendations too for movies, TV shows, music, etc. And we'll see how we can continue to build this uh daydreamers community. So thank you all for listening. I appreciate every single one of you sending you all love. Remember, do anything you can. Check in on somebody, show them you love them, let them know how much you appreciate them, and uh yeah, take care of yourself first and foremost. But you guys take care. All right, see you on the next episode.