The Wife-In-Law Plus One

My Handcuffs Fell Off At DFW And I Still Missed My Flight

Sandra Holt

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A sheriff shows up at the front door asking about gunshots across the street, and that’s not even the wildest part of the hour. We’re keeping it unscripted and straight from East Texas, swapping the kind of real life stories you only tell when you trust the person sitting across from you. One of us is pistol packing and the other is terrified of guns, which leads to a DFW Airport arrest story that still feels unreal, plus the moment a “decorating project” turns into digging a handgun out of potpourri.  <br><br>We also talk about what surprises people most about us: the wife-in-law relationship. The label gets plenty of raised eyebrows at a wedding shower, but the bigger point is serious and hopeful. Blended families can work when you choose the kids first, drop the rivalry, and decide to treat each other with respect even when the backstory is complicated. We share what helped us, what we learned, and why laughter matters when life gets messy.  <br><br>Then we head out around Longview with our local spotlight, reviewing Gerald Ferris Chiropractic Clinic and explaining what makes great chiropractic care worth your time if you’re dealing with lower back pain, sciatica, stiffness, or sports injuries. We even rate the whole thing using our East Texas fried chicken scale, because that’s how we do. If you like funny storytelling, Southern humor, and practical small town recommendations, tap play, then subscribe, share, and leave a review so more folks can find us. What part of the show made you laugh the most?

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Theme Song And Set Up

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. The life-in-law plus one, where the drama meets the fun, stories told, secrets unfold. You never know what's coming next. Bless her heart. Did you really say that? But what you waiting on?

SPEAKER_00

You're listening to the wife-in-law plus one. Real life. Real laughs, real women. Straight out of East Texas. Powerhouse ladies over 70. Proving that life doesn't slow down, it levels up. Unfiltered, unapologetic, unstoppable. Wife-in-law plus one.

Fan Comments And No Script Rules

SPEAKER_04

Well, hey there guys, and thanks for tuning back in to the Wife-in-Law Plus One. I've got my wife-in-law here with me.

SPEAKER_03

Hello, Sandy. Hi, Carolyn.

SPEAKER_04

Together again. Yes, we are. So here we are for our second episode. And by the way, our episodes are never going to be scripted. It's just what we decide to say when we want to say it and how we want to say it. That's kind of the way we kind of live our life, huh?

SPEAKER_03

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04

Exactly. I think I want to just start out by saying thanks to all of you first-time listeners, the people who listened at the last podcast. We got some great comments. I was just thrilled with everybody that made an effort to let us know they were listening and to tell us how much they enjoyed it. I had Lisa from Griffin, Georgia. And she said, Carolyn, I'm with you about the bra thing. It's definitely overrated.

SPEAKER_03

It is, I'm telling you now. I've been explaining that to you for years.

unknown

I know.

SPEAKER_04

And then I had a guy say, Sandy, no offense. You carried things well. You directed the the podcast nicely, but that Carolyn's who carries the show. So you got a fan there, Carolyn. I'm impressed.

SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_04

He he especially liked the the part about you going to Victoria's Secrets. So it's pretty cool. Yeah. And then we had a lot of people commenting on how they thought it was funny and yet they enjoyed some of the serious talk we did as well. And so I think we're on the right track. I think we're I think we're gonna get there.

SPEAKER_03

No

Sheriffs At The Door

SPEAKER_03

doubt about it.

SPEAKER_04

So how was your day?

SPEAKER_03

Well, my day has been good. I uh of course slept in till 10 because you know I don't get up early. But anyway, I got up and I saw that the sheriff department was in the vicinity where I live. So I was sitting there and me and my dogs, we was at the front door, of course, creeping on the neighbors. Well, I see those two sheriffs out there. Well, here in about 15 minutes, here comes one of them, trotting himself right on over to my front door. He comes up there and rings the ring bell. Did you think you were in trouble? Well, I thought maybe.

SPEAKER_04

It might have been in trouble.

SPEAKER_03

Listen, it wasn't the first time I've ever had the sheriff come to my house. They drew straws to see which one of them was coming.

SPEAKER_04

But the loser showed up. The loser showed up and told me.

SPEAKER_03

Anyway, long story short, he said, ma'am, did you hear any shots across the street from you today? And I said, No, sir, I hadn't heard or seen a thing. I said I just got up a little while ago. So anyway, I dodged that bullet because I didn't figure if they were having shots over there, I didn't want them to turn around over here and start shooting it my way. Yeah. Because then you know you have to get out that AR-15. And do you know

Arrested At DFW With A Pistol

SPEAKER_03

how expensive those rounds are?

SPEAKER_04

What's an AR what?

SPEAKER_03

An AR-15.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

You know, well, you pull the trigger and it's like a machine gun.

SPEAKER_04

Oh.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, that sucker will make you do a jive. You don't have please tell me you don't have one of those. Well, of course I have one of those. I'm just glad I didn't have it on me the day at the DFW airport when I got arrested for having a 38 on me. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_04

Carolyn, I can't believe that story. Now, you know, I you're a very bright woman. I know that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

How did you find yourself with a pistol in your purse at the airport?

SPEAKER_03

Well, you see, I was gonna fly to DC because at that time it was my 65th birthday, and my oldest daughter flying me up. She had planned a birthday party for me. Right. So I was catching the 1030 out of DFW. So of course I got there, slung my bag up on the security, and all of a sudden this man, a very large statue, appeared in front of me. And he said, Is that your purse? And I said, Well, yeah, it is. He said, Do you realize there's a gun in there? And I said, Well, no, I didn't. He said, Well, is it loaded? And I said, Well, of course it is. I said, If I was gonna carry one, what am I gonna do? Say, You're gonna rob me? Well, wait just a minute, let me load up.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, that didn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah. So anyway, they trotted me on back there and handcuffed me and they handcuffed me. Oh yeah, yeah, they handcuffed me. And what did that feel like? I mean Well, it felt like two iron bars on your wrist and my wrists are small like yours. But I mean emotionally, did didn't that kind of Well, emotionally, you know, I was like, Well, what the hell? You know Well any anyway, the handcuffs fell off because they were too loose, and so oh Lordy baby. Well, let's put it this way, I missed the 1030 flight. My daughter was highly P.O.'d when I didn't get into DC till 11 o'clock that night. Oh my. Of course there wasn't any birthday parts.

SPEAKER_04

Happy birthday to you, please.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah, well, it it's been a rodeo ever since.

SPEAKER_04

And they took you to jail, didn't they?

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah, they took me to jail. And anybody that doesn't know, this is a quick side note. If you ever get arrested at DFW and they say we're gonna take you to the DFW jail, it's 47 miles across there to the jailhouse. Yes. But I got to be best friends with the old boy that took me. As a matter of fact, he came back and picked me up after I got bond posted. She's please.

SPEAKER_04

Now, did they confiscate your gun?

SPEAKER_03

Well, yes, you never get your gun back. Audio's gun.

SPEAKER_04

Oh wow. Well, did you learn a lesson?

SPEAKER_03

Well, I've learned to be sure I leave it in the car because who wants to be riding down the road without some difference nowadays?

SPEAKER_04

Oh yeah, uh huh.

SPEAKER_03

You know, a cop stopped me not long ago because my inspection sticker had expired like nine months ago. I handed him my license to carry, and he said, Do you have a a gun on you? And I said, Well, yeah, I said I've got a 22 automatic right here, and I've got a 38 Smith and Lesson under the seat, and I got a 45 in that glove box over there. Which one you want to look at? He said, No, ma'am, it's okay.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my gosh.

Gun Fear And The Potpourri Pistol

SPEAKER_04

You know, I Oh, life is fun. I'm scared to death of guns. It's unnatural for me to be as scared as I am of guns, as if they have a life of their own. You know, I think if they're in the room, they're gonna shoot me, you know. And I I can't look at them, I can't touch them. I mean, I just hate it.

SPEAKER_03

Well, you know, I remember when you were decorating my house that I moved into. Of course, I have a little derringer that I just keep in a crystal vase by the front door, and I keep smelling scented stuff over it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, she put her gun in the potpourri. And I went to move the potpourri and take some of the old out and put some fresh in. I dig my hand in there and there's a pistol in there. I thought, I mean, I might as well have seen a snake. I was, oh my goodness. So I gave it to her, and you have to visualize this. I pick it up with two fingers and just hand it to her, you know, very gently, as if it's gonna bite me or something. And so she grabs it and she puts it somewhere. So then I go about doing some more stuff. Then I went to rearranging some stuff in her kitchen. There's that damn gun again. Oh my god. I thought Carolyn, come on now. Oh, we have a lot of good times together, and we've sometimes I feel like we're so much alike, and then sometimes I feel like we couldn't be more different. And I think about Wayne choosing us, you know.

SPEAKER_03

How did he go from the pistol packing mama to this little from an outlaw to this T90 little Barbie person over here? Now, mind you, I'm not a large person, but I'm five seven and you know, hold my own, but we're talking Barbie over here. Oh, well, and pretty as a picture, uh, and Sandy has all these

Wife-In-Law Story At The Shower

SPEAKER_03

fabulous ideas that just pours out of her brain. I don't know. I miss that. When God said that, I thought he said rain, and I went in the house.

SPEAKER_04

Not only do we not understand this connection that we have, no one else does either. Nobody else went to a real nice wedding shower the other day. And we we we went we went together and we sat down. Sandy picked me up. Yes, and we went there and we sat down at the big table and a bunch of ladies surrounding us, and so everybody was introducing themselves. And of course, Carolyn can't just say, This is my friend Sandy. No, no. She has to say, This is my wife-in-law. And they're all eyebrows raised and what? And I said, Yeah, yeah, I married her ex. And then we were all remarking about how the great presence that the bride to be was getting. I mean, she registered for some great stuff, and and so we were all talking about wow, you know, and someone at the table said, Yeah, I should just get my vows renewed and register. And I looked at Carolyn and she was at me and she says, Let's do that. Let's just put Wayne in the middle and we'll both renew our vows and we can get a whole bunch of presents.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I thought it was a great idea at the time.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah. I came home and told Wayne about it. He wasn't so high.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, Wayne wasn't so big on it.

SPEAKER_04

No, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And those ladies at the table, they were in shock.

SPEAKER_04

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Co-Parenting Peace And Family Choice

SPEAKER_04

I think more people should be this way, especially when it comes to children. And you know, Kate Katie, Carolyn and Wayne's daughter was 14, 13 or 14 when I met her.

SPEAKER_03

Thirteen.

SPEAKER_04

And yeah, and I had decided before I even met Carolyn, I decided I I'm gonna try and make this work for Katie's sake so that she doesn't feel divided and you know there's no tension there. I didn't have to try. I mean, as soon as I met her, I thought, she is she's a great lady. Although I know there's stories out there about their relationship at one point. Baby, you gotta tell my favorite story about

Rodeo Revenge Suitcase Story

SPEAKER_04

when he went to the rodeo and you didn't want him to. Okay, I'll tell you how he told me.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, go ahead on with you. That's it.

SPEAKER_04

So Wayne tells me, you know, he said, I I really want to go to this rodeo, and Carolyn didn't want me to go. He was, I just got back from one. He says, I was going, it's always leaving her. She said, Well, okay, fine, I'll pack for you. So she packed a suitcase. He said when he got there that night he was gonna go out, so went to get a nice crisp shirt, nice pair of jeans on, pulls out the jeans, one leg was cut off. He pulls out the shirt, one shirt sleeve was cut off, and everything in his suitcase was disabled. Yes, it was disabled.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and those were all nice Ralph Lauren pollup shirts too, with the button-down collar. Yeah, they were nice. I did save the buttons on the shirt sleeve buttons. Yeah, I did do that. That's when I was young when I did stuff like that.

SPEAKER_04

He wasn't right leaving you like that anyway.

SPEAKER_03

Well, that's right. That's right. He shouldn't have been leaving two weekends in a row. That was just wrong.

SPEAKER_04

I know it.

SPEAKER_03

That was just wrong.

SPEAKER_04

But he can laugh about that now, but I bet you he wasn't laughing.

SPEAKER_03

I bet he wasn't laughing when he wasn't laughing, man. Oh yeah, I did eighteen pair. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_04

You did them all? The ones at home too?

SPEAKER_03

Uh-huh. Oh. Yeah, I did eighteen pairs that day. Well, the scissors were sharpened, I was already in the swing of doing it. And every time I did it, it looked better.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, probably more fun. Did you ever make anything out of all the leftovers? Now, Sandy, you know I'm not you.

SPEAKER_03

I don't think about stuff like that.

SPEAKER_04

See, I'd sew them together and make a quilt.

SPEAKER_03

You know, gosh, dog.

SPEAKER_04

Make a great quilt. In fact, if you can wrestle them up, I'll make him a quilt and remind him of one.

SPEAKER_03

I bet he'd love that.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

You go, girl. You go. D, she go head on.

Longview Review Chiropractor Spotlight

SPEAKER_04

Well, it's time for us to do our Longview review. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

We got the real scoop hot and fresh, so we're ready for our honest assessment.

SPEAKER_03

Who are we reviewing today? We're gonna review Gerald Ferris.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, our favorite chiropractor. Yes, Gerald is a chiropractor, and we both have used him. And Carolyn, how long have you been using him? He's been around.

SPEAKER_03

I have used him over 30 plus years. Okay. Has he been in the same place on this? He has been in the same place for 30 plus years. And let me tell you this, the carpet that's then there. Yeah, same. It was there 30 plus years ago. I believe it. I believe it.

SPEAKER_04

Every every time the paint, it's all the same. Yeah. Every time I go in there, and I'll look down at the carpet and I'll say, Gerald, you've got to change this carpet. And he laughs. He said, No, it's it's okay, you know. So I wrote up a little thing about him for the review. So here's my take on Gerald Ferris. Ferris Chiropractic Clinic is right here in Longview at 3110 Gilmour Road. Dr. Ferris offers a range of services focused on improving overall health and wellness through chiropractic care. AKA helping your body remember how it's supposed to work. He provides spinal adjustments, sports injury management, and customized treatment plans tailored to the individual needs. In my case, that usually means lower back pain, sciatica, or a stiffness. Anyway, in my opinion, he's top notch with over 30 years of hands-on literally experience. Dr. Girl Ferris has seen it all and just about fixed it all too. His practice is in an unassuming building. So unassuming, you might drive right past it while you're busy arguing with your GPS. There's no clutch reply. But if you want real results and someone who listens like you're the only patient on earth, you're in the right place. But if you care more about your bath being sorted out than fancy wallpaper, you'll find Dr. Paris is simply one of the best in the business. Just don't expect velvet couches or tiny cucumber sandwiches while you wait.

SPEAKER_03

That that's very true. Every word's very true, but oh he is fine. He is fine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

You know, and I I've never liked chiropractors. I went to one long time ago, and he messed me up bad, and I ended up having a migraine for days and ended up in a hospital. Yeah. So I was very leery the first time I went to Gerald, but I was like, I needed, I needed relief. And he had to talk, talk to me a lot before I let him do anything. But he took his time and he also does chiropractic work on horses.

SPEAKER_03

Not professionally, but he'll do he ha he bought this old hag of a horse. I mean, I'm not kidding you. It was, I think he paid five hundred dollars for it or something. Well, he decided, well, he's gonna race her. All right. So he takes her out there, and every time he'd take her to the track over at Shreeport, you'd see if you were down there where they they were getting them ready to ride, you'd see him back there behind her, and he'd have a hold of her tail and he'd jerk that tail and he'd massage her back up on top. I want you to know that sucker could run like a spotted ape after he'd adjust her. Spotted ape. You know what the heck is a spotted ape. I'm not lying to you. She'd get out on that track and won there. I mean, I don't know how many thousands of dollars he won with her, and she's retired now. Her name was Barely Cooking.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, and she actually became pretty famous. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. So well he did work. He did, he did. I wonder if he could make me run faster and buyer.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, I'd have him jerk my tail if I thought it would help. He told me if I'd wear a bra with these 38 longs, it'd help my back strain a little bit. I'm sure.

SPEAKER_04

But anyways, now we're gonna give him a rating here. So the rating system is gonna go like this. It's of course East Texas style, and it will base it around fried chicken. So here's how it'll go. It'll be kind of think of it like chicken box at a reunion. Alright, so if you get one out of five, that will be the neck. And it'll be kind of like you're feeling, uh, I guess I'll try it. If it's two out of five, that'll be the wing. And basically you're thinking, you know, just because it has a lot of sauce on it and it's all that fancy, it really doesn't have any substance to it. And if you get three out of five, that's the drumstick, and so now we're talking, a little trusty, no surprises there, easy to understand, and it'll feed you. If you get four out of five, now that's the thigh. Now we're cooking. It's juicy, it's probably underrated, and and it's not flashy, but it's nice and solid, and uh it will definitely give you a boost. Now, five out of five, now that's the primo. That's the breast. It's the first one that's usually gone. It's big and clean and impressive. It's the kind of result that folks claim they weren't even very hungry and while they're reaching for seconds. So that's our rating system. Carolyn, how'd you rate him?

SPEAKER_03

Oh, I gotta give him five because I love a good picnic.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, well, you know, sorry, Gerald, I really love you, but I'm gonna give you four just because, you know, I'm kind of bougie.

SPEAKER_03

Well, now that is the god's truth right there.

SPEAKER_04

I like cucumber sandwiches and the sparkling modern with with oranges in them.

SPEAKER_03

So uh yeah, you were the one with the barn with the raised paneling and the chandeliers in it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

If memory serves me correctly, and

Chicken Rating Scale And Final Scores

SPEAKER_03

I think I've still got be of sound mind.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah, my barn's pretty fancy. Yeah, that's for sure. So uh congratulations, Gerald. I think you did well on our rating scale. We will definitely recommend you to anyone who's in need of a kraken.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I want to um challenge him because our friend Kenny Kimbrough has a big boat, and me and Kenny and Gerald are gonna go up to Lake of Pines. I'm gonna challenge Gerald to a crappie match to see which one of us can catch the most up at Lake of Pines.

SPEAKER_04

That sounds fun.

SPEAKER_03

And we'll have a fish fry.

SPEAKER_04

There you go. That sounds like a lot of fun. Now, speaking of out and about in Longview, I didn't find any special items, my favorite find for this week to pass along. Did you?

SPEAKER_03

I haven't had any special items either. You know, I I got hemmed up in the horse biddle.

SPEAKER_04

Well, oh yeah, I was gonna ask you

Stents Recovery And Wayne Drops In

SPEAKER_04

how you're feeling. Uh you had stints put in your Yes, I'm doing really well.

SPEAKER_03

Was able to get the trash can down to the where they pick it up every week and get it back to the house, which I hadn't been able to do.

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_03

Walking, and then next week I'm going to get the left leg done because you know I've got two legs, so we needed to have both of them.

SPEAKER_04

Well, I get I bet you're going to feel a whole lot better.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, yes, yes. The cardiologist said I was going to live to be a whole gray mare. You got that right. But I tell you what, I'm as good once as ever was.

SPEAKER_04

Well, there you go.

SPEAKER_03

My man, Mr. Wills.

SPEAKER_02

Wife, uh, ex-wife. What can I do for you?

SPEAKER_04

Wayne is under deep protest here. We're we wanted him to say a few words. And you just said a few. You are the plus one. We were just talking about you, actually.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

It was all very positive. Continue.

SPEAKER_02

I don't want to interrupt this highly intellectual meeting between an ex and a wife.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. We were just talking about how much alike we are and and how different we are. And how how did you choose one and then to choose somebody completely different? Oh, I'm not getting into that. Okay. I love it. Bye. Thanks for joining us for a minute. That was Wayne O. But you know, I did finally get to the

Fresh Grocery Wine Bar And Tornado Freezer

SPEAKER_04

fresh grocery store.

SPEAKER_03

Oh.

SPEAKER_01

Oh.

SPEAKER_04

Coach. Now we're not going to rate that yet because we only rate one a show. But we will later. But dang. Man. I've never been to a grocery store like that.

SPEAKER_03

Well, and they have a wine bar. Get back out of town, girlfriend. You know what I'm talking about up in here and everything like that.

SPEAKER_04

I got to go right to the bar, get a glass of wine, and go around shop with the wine in my hand. Oh yeah. I mean, tuck though. I know that's right. That was awesome. I just really enjoyed it. Oh, and then I was in there when they had that tornado scare. Oh. So they ushered us all into the freezer. Into the freezer? In the cold freezer. And they shut the door. Yeah. And so I I said, I need a blanket. So they let me run out real quick, and I ran out and grabbed a blanket, and I said I'd pay for it, you know. But they had they happened to have some out there. So I grabbed a blanket and put it around me.

SPEAKER_03

But wow, but it's a fabulous store. We need to do a a review on that.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, it was it's really cool. If they have a fresh where your your listeners are at, give it a try, man. It's it's really good. Speaking of your listeners, we had 98, almost made a hundred uh listeners.

Global Listeners Subscribe And Website

SPEAKER_04

Oh, wow. And for our first one. How fun! Very I was very impressed. I appreciate it so much. Yeah, and we had someone from Japan, someone from Africa, someone from Australia.

SPEAKER_02

Wow.

SPEAKER_04

We had several states in the United States. So it's we've only just begun, and I'm I'm pretty excited about that. And then the comments, we really love those. So let me tell you, if you're listening because someone sent you a link, that's fine and you can hear it that way. But then you have to have someone send you a link every time. So if you want to subscribe to this so that you find out when it airs, it'll come up on your phone. Then go to your app store and go to podcast. And there's probably a few of 'em, but there's one that's free and it will take care of Apple and Spotify and all the main podcast players. Click on that and go ahead and download that app. And then once you you have the app downloaded, it'll pretty much just guide you through finding the Wipe in Law Plus one and any other podcasts that you want. And when you see that, then you can subscribe. And it will also give you any side notes that we might have written down. It also gives you the opportunity to click on our website. We had one gentleman call in and ask that he if he could see our pictures. So I told him go on our website and you can see our pictures. And is the website's not completely finished, but I do have the pictures and I'm getting ready to put descriptions on the pictures. I'm not gonna let you see yours, Carolyn. I'm just gonna describe it. But your picture's very pretty. Um thank you. And so you can go on our website and you can actually get the podcast from the website as well.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, and tell us what you'd like to hear about. Because between us, we've been through most all of it. Oh, yeah, we have. And still laughing.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah. Still here to tell about it. That is so

Kindness Message And Sign Off

SPEAKER_04

true.

SPEAKER_03

But you know, life is to be enjoyed, and you never know what it might be your last time.

SPEAKER_04

That's for sure.

SPEAKER_03

So just don't put up with drama and being negative. People that always have something ugly to say or negative to say. There's too much love in the world, and we need to love and be kind to each other. We do.

SPEAKER_04

You know, I I feel sorry for the people who are always negative. I think it drains them. I like to think of it as when storms come, I lower my sail. Well, I think we're gonna close for today. So again, please subscribe, share, like us, rate us, and call in or text in. And so until next time, remember this. Life's just too damn short to dance with ugly cowboys.

SPEAKER_03

Isn't that the truth? Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

SPEAKER_01

Don't forget what you just heard. But you didn't hear it from me. It's been fun, we're not done. Catch you next time. You can't make this stuff up.