Consumed by the Calendar

In a culture that celebrates packed schedules and constant productivity, it's easy to wear busyness like a badge of honor. But what happens when being busy becomes more than a habit—and starts becoming an idol?

In this episode of Living with Grace & Sass, we're having an honest conversation about busyness, the heart issues that often fuel it, and the ways it can quietly pull us away from what matters most. We'll explore questions to help evaluate our priorities, signs that our schedules may be crowding out our relationship with the Lord, and practical ways to cultivate healthier rhythms of rest and dependence on God.

Most importantly, we'll look at what Scripture teaches about rest, trust, and finding our identity in Christ rather than in our accomplishments. If you've ever struggled to slow down, felt guilty for resting, or found yourself constantly striving for more, this conversation is for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey guys, welcome back to the Living with Grace and Sas podcast. We are your co-hosts, Katie and Sierra. And today's topic is going to be about the idol of busyness. Um, it's definitely gonna be an interesting one. Um, not another one we look forward to talking about, but definitely needed to have the conversation. Um, so just to kick us off, Katie, why do you feel like busyness is often praised and rewarded in our society, in our culture? What do you think?

SPEAKER_01 0:34

So I definitely think that most of our culture would not look at busyness and say that it's an idol or that it's really even a problem. I think that's part of the reason it's praised in our culture is because most people don't see it as an issue. We have definitely created a society that thrives on doing things and doing stuff and doing the most that you can possibly do. Um, and I think at the root of that, a lot of it is that we have tied our worth or our value into how productive we are and how much we are able to get done. Um, and so we've almost, I mean, we have idolized it. We've made it into like this goal to achieve um by being busy all the time.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Yes, it's definitely like become more of a personality trait of how busy we can be and how filled I can make my calendar. Yeah um, and I joke about it often about how I don't have anything on my calendar, so I feel like I'm almost incomplete. Like I'm missing something. I need to be doing something. So where what can I do to fill in those gaps?

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Yeah, we've made it so commonplace that if I don't have something on my schedule, I think I've like forgotten something. I'm missing something. What were we supposed to be doing? Because we're always doing something. So what have I forgotten if I don't have something on my schedule? Um, and it definitely this is something that I have realized or I'm that I'm learning, that I'm working through recovering from um over the last few years, because it's not something that in the past I would have said was a problem. Um, but the more I think about this, the more I dig into it and think about what scripture says, the more I'm like, no, this really is an issue that we are so busy that we don't have any time for rest, that our schedules are so full that the things that should be taking first place are taking a back seat. And so I've really tried to kind of work through that in my own life, and it is definitely something I still struggle with, and I'm still trying to work through. But I think we have especially I'm gonna get a lot of flack for this, so be prepared. Um maybe not, I don't know. But we have made a whole culture around it in the boss babe culture, in the hustle culture. Yes. We have like made it into a whole thing and we've worn it as a badge of honor. And I think at the root of it, it's that, and I'm gonna include myself in it. I'm gonna say we. We don't actually, we're not comfortable with who we are, or our work and our value is tied into something else. It's tied into our success, it's tied into what we achieve, it's tied into like look at my 25 item to-do list and how I marked all those things off. Our success and our achievement is tied into those things, and I really think that's where the hustle culture was born from of like if you just hustle enough, then you can be, you can become. You know, you can achieve whatever you can have all this money and this perfect house and all this stuff, and no one's gonna do it for you, so you have to hustle and do that. And in like feeding that, we have created this whole culture around it, and it really has become an idol for so many people.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

Well, and even to dig deeper into that, it's pride. Yeah, for sure. Because then I can boast about all these sleepless nights, all these things I had to do, and now look, I'm here, I'm CEO, or I I I don't even know what else. Yeah, but exactly I can toot my own horn, basically.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

Exactly. And I I say all that from a place of like someone that knows it's a problem, but that still struggles with it greatly. Not that I find my worth and val I would never say that I find my worth and value in it, but are my actions reflecting that maybe I do find my worth and value in it or that I have pride in it, and that's why I struggle so much to let it go. Yeah. Because also I made the joke to you earlier. It's like this is a hard episode for me to talk about because you know, I I am all those things, right? Like eldest daughter, type A, recovering people pleaser. And so I in culture, it's fine because I identify as all those things, right? And I part of that is that busyness and like how productive I can be and how many things I can get done, but it absolutely is contrary to scripture, and I know that. So that is why I'm trying to fight so hard against this idol of busyness in my own life, and why I think it's important that we talk about it. So, what would you say? What are some signs that you think that that would indicate in our lives that busyness may be an idol?

SPEAKER_00 5:33

Um, I mean, I kind of joked about it a little bit ago about just when the schedule is empty, like it does kind of increase that anxiety in me of like, did we forget something? Because I'm very bad about committing to something verbally and not putting in my calendar. I mean, all my friends know this, so tell me, put it in your calendar as we're talking. Oh yes. Um, but uh just feeling like I'm missing something, and then like realizing okay, I actually don't have anything to do, I still struggle with fight feeling that anxiousness of I need to do something. So let me I don't even know, let me just find something to keep myself busy. Yeah, feeling like you can never just rest and just be. Relax? What is that? Yeah. I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

I even catch myself when I'm like, okay, I'm gonna sit down at whatever time, you know. Most of the time I give myself a cutoff at night, and I'll sit down. But even then, I'm still not resting. I'm still most of the time doing something on my phone, whether it's for business or whatever, you know, my kids or the family stuff. I'm still always filling my time with something. It's so rare that I just have like nothing, that I just rest, which is terrible.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

It is, but sadly, society has deemed this okay. Yeah, I mean, I'll do it. In doing so, I mean, it just for me personally, it just keeps me distracted from what I was supposed to be doing, and that's using that time to read scripture, using that time in prayer. Um, another one is like feeling guilty. Yeah. Feeling guilty, relaxing. That's why I joke, I don't know what that means. Yes. Even when I go on vacations, my brain is thinking about stuff coming up that I need to prepare for, or um I mean, travel with you and your family. It's easy because y'all give me an itinerary. But when I travel with other people, I'm like, I have to be the one to think of the things because everybody else is actually relaxing. Someone needs to be ready to go. So I just dub myself the person ready to go. So you do it. You feel like you can't rest and stupid.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

Exactly. I come by very naturally, right? Um, but too, I think another sign of it, and you kind of touched on this of like we fill out so much time, we fill all of our time. So then we're neglecting the things that we should be putting time towards. I don't know how many times I have heard women tell me, and I say this because I do it too, like, I don't have time to read my Bible, I don't have time to do whatever, you know, I don't have time to be in prayer, I don't have time to be in scripture, but it's because we have left no margin in our root in our world, in our time, in our schedules. And so we end up neglecting the things that we should be focusing our time and priority on. And I think that's a big sign. If we if we look at our lives and we evaluate what does my schedule look like, am I neglecting these things? Then I think we have to ask ourselves some harder heart questions on do I actually idolize busyness? And you know, right now you're doing this, I'm doing this. We have a lot of ladies doing this. We're doing a 75-day challenge through um my business let grace speak. And part of that, the intention behind that is slowing down for 75 days and spending time in the word, spending time in prayer, you know, making those regular rhythms. And why is it so much easier for me to give up Dr. Pepper for 75 days than it is to make sure I'm getting two to three just silent walks in praying to the Lord in a week, or even my daily Bible reading, why is that a harder thing for me than giving up Dr. Pepper? And I think it's busyness, it's because this thing is an idol.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

You know, it's funny, like when you talked about how, especially as this woman's saying, we don't have time. I actually remember having a conversation with my mom a couple months ago, um, just about how I just feel like I don't have time to do all the things that I need to do, not that I want to do, it's that I need to do. Yeah. And it involved, you know, reading my Bible, sticking to my Bible study from church, because I struggled with that. Um, and she full-on called me out and was like, look at how much time a day average your phone tells you you're on it. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, I'll go look. Start taking, not that much. Yeah. Eight hours. Eight hours. And my job isn't even like on your phone. Yeah, it's not a social media type gig or what like I I don't use my phone in my job. Right. Where is this the eight hours coming from?

SPEAKER_01 10:24

It's eye-opening to us. We all hate that our that our phones don't tell us our screen time. Yeah. Um, because it's eye-opening, but it is, it's the it I mean you said it, we say we don't have time to do these things that we need to do because we have all these other things going on, but like we're prioritizing those other things over the time of the Lord. And I am so guilty of that. So, so guilty. Like, if I do not, and I think we talked about this on the episode that we talked about being present in the word. If I do not like make a time and set a time to do that and build that rhythm in, then it's gonna be 10 o'clock at night, and I'm gonna be like, nope, too tired, and I'm gonna fall asleep in the chair or just go straight to bed instead of doing my Bible study, then I've got to prioritize. And I think that may have been the thing that was like, man, this is actually really a problem in your life. Busyness is a problem for you because you can't even make time to spin in the word.

SPEAKER_00 11:29

Yeah, as you were as you're talking about this, like instantly the Bible verse that came into my head um was where the Lord tells us in Matthew 16, 24, um, that if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. And it really paints the picture of denying putting down all of or readjusting your priorities, really, um, and putting down the ones that aren't um put there to glorify him. Um and those productivity moments of am I completing this to make myself feel good or to boast about my accomplishments, or is this on my schedule to because it's an opportunity where I can share the gospel, where I could grow more understanding in the Lord. Um, and so Katie, we've talked about um kind of those signs of if maybe business busyness is an idol to you, um, and just why it's become such a glorified thing in our society. But let's talk about some hard questions that we can ask ourselves individually. I mean, we're gonna ask each other right here, but um, just for our listeners that they can ask themselves individually. And a good one is why do I stay so busy? Why do I do this to myself?

SPEAKER_01 13:03

Why do I do this to myself? Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, I think if you are like us and you're seeing sitting here thinking, like, man, maybe I do idolize busyness, um, asking yourself why? Why do I stay so busy? What what outside influence or what internal pressure am I feeling to do these things? Is it because I find my worth and my value in how productive I am? Is it for financial reasons? Like I I feel like I have to do it. Um, you know, is it for the approval of others? Is it for success and achievement? You know, really ultimately asking yourself, why? Why do I do this? Why am I so busy? Or why do I feel the need to stay so busy? Yes. Someone said to me one time about um, it was not in the context of busyness, it was in the context of going on a lot of girls' trips or like different things like that. And they said, if someone is going on all these girls' trips and doing all these like girls' night things without their spouse, what is the underlying reason? What are we avoiding that we feel the need to do all these other things? And I it has stuck with me because it's a question I often ask myself or just in general, but I think it applies here too to busyness. Like, what am I trying to avoid by staying so busy that my attention is divided on a million other things? Am I trying to avoid A over here because I don't want to deal with it? So I keep myself busy with B, C, D, and E.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

You know, why? We have to ask ourselves that because something is driving it, something is keeping us as busy as we are.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

I definitely feel personally that um a lot of reason why I strive to I don't want to say strive like it's an accomplishment, but I uh make it a point to keep my schedule so full is I guess kind of the fear of this is gonna sound this is it does it's not as deep as it sounds, but I don't if I'm not busy then I'm stuck with my thoughts. I understand and you know me personally, my thoughts can kind of spiral to a point where it's like scary, like I'm conspiracy off all the off the walls and I need to do this. Yes, literally, like we joke, it's we're s I'm spiraling. Yes, and so the more I can keep from being still enough to to listen, yeah, then I'm okay. Like everything's fine, I don't have to deal with the things in my head. Like I said, it's not that deep, I promise. Mom, I'm never gonna listen. I'm good. But no, it's just like I struggle a lot with um the like feeling like I failed at some things. Yeah. I mean, that's a whole topic itself. Yeah. But so like I try to stay, I try to um do great at my job, I try to take all of these positions so I can pay off debt, so I can do these things. Like, I try to do so much because I don't want to feel like I failed my mom. I mean, I just talked to her the other day about it. I'm like, I know you've never told me this specifically that I have failed you. I know you never will, but in my head, if I'm not meeting these accomplishments, then I feel like you can't say you have a you're proud of your daughter. I mean, it's again a whole other topic, but avoiding those thoughts and by keeping busy.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

No, I agree with you completely. It goes to the other question too, of like, am I on some level, am I doing this to try to prove my worth? And like again, I would never say that, but everything you just said, I'm like, I resonate with that so much. Um, because like you know, from a world's perspective, I don't say this like it's gonna sound cocky, and I don't mean it that way, but like from a world's perspective, I am very successful. I have a doctorate, I have a professional degree, like you know, I have that. I don't feel like I need to prove my worth and my value social, like culturally, but on an internal level, and again, I don't know if it's the eldest daughter, chronic people pleaser, like I don't know what it is, but like I have this need to like prove my worth and my value and make sure that like I'm doing enough so that people feel that I'm worthy, which is so stupid. I know that, and I would 1000% counsel other women away from that mindset, but it's still something I struggle with. And I this was probably four or five years ago, I don't even know. In a conversation, Nathan and I were talking about how I would eventually like to stay home full time, not to do nothing, but to do my other businesses full time. And I, as we talked about that, and something that I longed to do, I like started crying. He was like, What is wrong? I said, I'm gonna let my dad down if I'm not a PT anymore. And like, I don't know where that thought came from because never in a million years would my dad be disappointed if I wasn't like a practicing physical therapist because like I've been a PT for 13 years. Yeah, my dad is very proud of my accomplishments. I don't have dad issues at all. So like I don't even know where that came from. But it was like, my dad will be disappointed if I'm not a PT. And I remember telling my dad, and he just looked at me like I had five heads, like it was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard come out of my mouth. But I'm like, where there's something inside of me that is like I have to do all of these things so that I'm my parents are proud of me, just like you said with your mom.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

Even though our parents would never I mean, obviously, we do if we do really stupid stuff, then you're grateful to say that, but yes, our lives right now, they would never say that. No, your parents wouldn't even say that to me, and my mom was a team. Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

I'm like, I don't know where it comes from, I don't know where that thought comes from, but I often say it, and I know that's a driving force behind my busyness is like trying to prove my worth to everybody, and I don't know why. Because like on any given day, I feel very confident in who I am in the Lord, and I know my worth and value is not tied up in my accomplishments, but it is a driving fueling force behind my busyness at times.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

Yeah, and you're right, we do know our worth in the Lord, but I mean it is a constant thought of am I doing enough to please him? Yeah. Yeah. Which goes against scripture wholeheartedly.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

We know that that the gospel says there's absolutely nothing you can do to earn your worth and your value and your salvation, and like all your good works are like filthy rags, um, and they're of no like value before the Lord because we don't can't do anything to earn it. So to think that we need to do more or we need to do better is such I mean, it's so contrary to scripture. It's the exact opposite of what the gospel tells us that says, Come as you are, you're a sinner in need of a savior, and only Christ can save, and nothing you can do can earn that salvation.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

So when we go down that path, we really have to remind ourselves of the gospel. I think that's a good way to fight against that too. To say every day, I hear people say, like, preach the gospel to yourself daily, and I think that is a key here, too, of reminding yourself, nothing you did earned your salvation, nothing you do can maintain your salvation. It is a hundred percent the power of the Lord to save you and to keep you. So nothing I do earthly, no amount of busyness or good works or productivity is gonna make me have more value before the Lord. Because He's already called me as his own.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Yeah, I mean, if we um are jumping right into kind of what scripture truly says, um, just reading from Exodus 14, 14, which I feel like I've been hearing recurrently, because I remember hearing it at our women's conference um about the Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still. Um, and just just emphasizing that I mean our worth doesn't come from everything that we're doing. Our worth comes from the Lord, we're his child children, and ultimately he is in control, and like you said, there's nothing we can do to make our worth better through him. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

You know, if you look at scripture, this idea of Sabbath rest comes up at the very beginning, you know, like God creates the first six days of creation. On day seven, he takes rest. Um, and we get this idea, this picture of Sabbath rest in the beginning in Genesis. And then if you go to Exodus and the Ten Commandments, um, the fourth commandment he gives them is to keep the Sabbath or remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. And so the fight against busyness is Sabbath rest, which is not something our culture does well. No. We already talked about that. We praise people that stay busy, that are always doing something, that have no time in their schedule, you know, and it's not even just like women climbing a career ladder. Because I think there's a um there's an idea out there that women that struggle with busyness are only like career-driven women. That's actually not true at all. I would say that we're really all susceptible to it because it doesn't matter if you have a career that you're going to 40 hours a week plus, you know, we stay busy in how many activities our kids are in, how many activities we are in, you know, am I in this club? Am I doing this? Am I doing that? You know, we stay busy across the board and it's praised. Um, but it's so contrary to that picture that God gives us in Genesis and then reminds them again again in Exodus. Um, so rest is not a bad thing, but we've created it to be a bad thing in our culture. And so to fight against that, to fight against busyness as an idol, we really have to better understand Sabbath rest. So if God Himself says that rest is good, why would we think that we don't need it? Why would we think that it's okay for us to keep our schedule so busy that we don't need to stop and rest?

SPEAKER_00 23:55

Because we as humans, we are limited.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

And we serve a God who who we serve the God who is limitless. Yeah. Um, I think back to my brother, he was um probably like 20, 21, and had his own car, had a has a job, and just just being a boy, running around, going to work. He worked nights, so he was sleep during the days, but he started hanging out with some, I mean, not some not so good people. I honestly didn't like them, but he was constantly he'll go to work, but then he'll go hang out with them, and then he'd go to work, and then he'd go hang out with them. And mom and I were both just like, you know, you're gonna hit a wall at some point. We are not made to run on two, three hours of sleep a night. Yeah, not at all. At any age. No, definitely not at 32. But I remember um he actually coming home one day, actually fell asleep with the wheel because his body just hit that wall. And sadly, he was behind the wheel driving home. Yeah, not even five minutes from the house, and hit a culvert and flipped his car. And thank the Lord, he only came out with a concussion. Yeah. And uh, I think he fra he did fracture his nose, but I mean, the the firefighters that were there, I mean we we know them. They were just like we've seen people hurt worse and less. Yeah. And so that definitely was a wake-up call to him, like you I can't do this. No. Um, and just on any human level, it's not healthy to constantly keep moving.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

Yeah, you're exactly right. And even looking back at Christ, you know, during his earthly ministry, there's still several times that we see that he withdraws to himself to go and rest. Um, and if Christ has to do that in his humanness, then why would we think that in our humanness we don't have to do that? Yeah. Like here's someone that had the needs of the whole world in front of him and could address the needs of the whole world, and he still takes time to go and rest. And so why would I, in the in my lim my limitations, like you said, of being human, why would I think that I can address the needs of the whole world in front of me without rest, without stopping to slow down and to to recharge.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

But we do we idolize it. We're like, I'm just gonna keep going. I'm just gonna pop some, you know, sleeping whatever, some supplements to help me go, and then we're just gonna keep going. Some of those energy drinks after Kool-Aid. Yeah, don't even get me started. Yeah, that's a whole nother episode. We'll save that for another day. On energy on energy drinks alone, because I have lots of thoughts. They're terrible for your body. Yes. Put them down. They're not our body's not designed to run like that, but that's what we've created.

SPEAKER_00 27:07

No, exactly. And we've also as a society, especially I feel like it's been pushed more with social media, um, that we always need to be prepared for the next season. That's not just even speaking of the next season in life. That's literally the next season. Like we're just now getting into summer, and I was with my mom the other day, and I see autumn stuff at Hobby Lobby, and I'm like, the oven just got started cooking. And now you're bringing out fall. Yeah. Like I can't now. I feel like I can't even enjoy now because now I need to think of Thanksgiving and and and Halloween and and all the school starting back up and all this stuff. I can't relax. Yeah. No in this all summertime because now I need to get my planner and start filling in for the next school year. Like, we constantly feel like we need to be um one step ahead when it comes to seasons in life and yeah, literal seasons.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

Yeah, no, you're exactly right. I sent a text this week to a group of friends about a party that we're playing in July, but my like lead-in was like, hey guys, I know everyone's calendars are so busy. I just want to make sure you know this is happening. And I'm like, why is every conversation why is that like our intro now? Is I know schedules are busy. So here's this thing make sure you put it on your schedule so you don't book up. Like, I make it a mission in our family to have empty weekends, and that is coming from someone that only works two and a half days a week and whose husband is retired. But I still want empty weekends, but I don't even know when the first empty weekend we have is the last weekend of June. Dang. That's the first empty weekend I have in several weeks. Um, and it's like I don't even actually know if that weekend is empty, but it's this idea that we have so many things going on that you we really have to practically and like really hard fight, hard fight, fight hard for empty schedules and for rest. So, on that note, Sierra, what are some other ways that you think, or what are some ways that we would suggest, you know, really fighting against this idol of busyness um practically? Because we can talk about it, we can all agree that it's a problem, but how do we practically change that?

SPEAKER_00 29:39

Um something that is hard for both of us um is practicing saying no. And even even on so let your yes be yes and your no be no. And let it be okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

Someone I watched a video yesterday, maybe you sent it to me, I don't know, about getting to the point where you can say no without adding a a reason on the end of it. Just saying no. Like no is a full sentence.

SPEAKER_00 30:08

Yeah, I'm terrible at it. Can't do it. No, it's it's hard. It's very hard. But understanding that it's okay if your friends are going out to dinner, but you notice this is your first Friday night of having nothing to do. It's okay to say no. You don't have to go to everything, or you don't have to um you also on the other aspect of that say no so much that now you're losing that connection with people, you're withdrawing yourself. Yeah. So just let your yes be yes and your no be no and surround your people, surround yourself with people who are okay when you say no.

SPEAKER_01 30:48

Yeah, dude, you're gonna get me on my soapbox on this one. Um but we do we have a friend that over the last year has intentionally worked on saying no to things. Um, and I've intentionally asked her some for some help on projects, secretly hoping that she would say no so she could practice. If she's listening, she knows who she is. But she's done a good job. She's built that in. She has done a great job at saying no to some things that she really wanted to do or could do. Um, but because it's hard and it takes work to do it. Um, and you saying the thing about like saying no, if this is your only like your um, you know, this is your free weekend and all your friends are going out, it's really hard to do, but it's so worth it um to slow down and you know that my like my pet beef is like if you're so busy and your schedule is so crowded and full um that you can't function, but your kids are still involved in a million activities and you're still going and doing a million things here and there, um, that's my pet peeve. Stop doing it. Say no. Because here's a couple things your real friends are not going to leave you, they're not gonna ditch you if you say no a few times, and then like your kids are going to be fine if they are not involved in a million activities. Yes, and my pet peeve is if your family or your marriage specifically are suffering because you're so busy, you have gotta cut something out, and your kids ultimately need my kids ultimately need to see me love their dad well and to have a healthy marriage, they need that way more than me making sure they're involved in a million activities and going and doing all the things, and that is very countercultural.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

Yes, and even for um the single people out there who are kidless too. I mean, um, there was a time in my life where I was working a full-time job and I made myself so busy with this job and with my other jobs, because I have a habit of working like two or three jobs. I don't know how to work just one, but um that it made me kind of fall into this depression state because I was giving so much of me to my work that I wasn't taking time one for myself, I wasn't taking time with the Lord, I wasn't taking time to spend with friends, I wasn't taking time going to church other than Sunday mornings. I just was I was pulling myself back subconsciously to the point where I just I was just miserable and my and people close to me were figuring it out. Like this isn't a brag, but I like to think that I can hide it well. In my head I can, and when people start asking me, I'm like, crap, it's being it's showing Oh no, I better hide it better. If that is not a type A, people pleasing eldest daughter, I don't know what it's yes, and so so just being intentional with um with not keep making yourself so busy, even though you don't have kids to take to sporting events or chess practice, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

Um chess practice.

SPEAKER_00 34:21

I don't know why. I think either because no one we know does chess.

SPEAKER_01 34:25

No.

SPEAKER_00 34:27

I was trying to think of something other than sports, because that's really all I know. It's like I could I guess I could have said theater. I don't know. Anyways. Anyways, but taking kids to things or having that spots that you need to delegate time with, like, you still can as a single person kind of make your schedule too packed. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 34:47

It doesn't, yeah, it doesn't have to just be filled with work and husband and family. It can be filled with plenty of other things that you're still overloading your schedule. You're ignoring Sabbath rest, you're idolizing busyness. Yes. It absolutely is not isolated to married women with kids at all.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

No. I need to run and joke with some of my friends, like, hey, when's your next opening in your schedule? Or you're you're the single one, like, why why are you so busy? I'm like, dude, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

Okay, but I also think from years of single adulthood is that often people expect you to be available and like present at everything because you're single. Do you remember do you feel like that? Oh yeah. I actually had a conversation with one of my friends about this the other day. I hope I've never made you feel that way. No. Because I definitely people made me feel that way. If you did, I would have told you. Okay, good. I figured. But people made me feel that way when I was single. Like, you have all the time in the world. Well, actually, no, I don't because I'm type A and I'm very busy. Um, so yeah, I do think that people expect you to be at things unfairly. That's obviously not right. Yeah. Um, but no, it is that. It's that building like intentionally building margin into your schedule so that you're not, you know, overloaded. And like that's setting some very practical things. That's saying no to good things that you might want to do, but setting some practical, like, this is our this is what I do. This is my role. I don't do things on this day. I was talking to this, to a co-worker about this last week. We don't do stuff on Sunday, so please don't invite me to your kids' birthday party or to your own birthday party on Sunday, because I'm gonna say no. Because that's a day we've been intentionally set aside for rest. Um, and my kids only get one activity at a time, and I get to choose. It's not an activity that requires us to have three or four practices a week plus games, or we're constantly having to do something every night. If they get one activity and they are perfectly fine, well-socialized, thriving children. They do not need a million activities to be healthy and to learn and to grow. And I hope that by doing that, they will not idolize busyness like I often have in life. So just being very intentional in setting guidelines that practically helps us fight against that. Um, and making sure you have margin in your time.

SPEAKER_00 37:17

You know, our friend Caitlin actually, there was one day we were all talking, and I was just complaining about being busy, shocker. Um, and she literally was just like, Why don't you just schedule a weekend of nothing? Yeah. I'm like, what? She's like, schedule a me weekend where you whatever you want to do, it's your choice, but it's not your work gigs or you're not traveling with other people. Like, and for some reason, I was just like, that's so smart. I've never thought of that.

SPEAKER_01 37:49

Yeah. It's a great, but it's scheduling that margin. Yes. Like, take time and schedule that in your schedule.

SPEAKER_00 37:56

And be actually like stick with it because uh the one I scheduled, I ended up having to work. But that it I had to, okay. I couldn't say no, I had to, but I'm making a new one.

SPEAKER_01 38:07

Even if it's like a night or a day or you know, something like that. Like, you know, no, the third Thursday of every month, I'm actually not available because it's my evening to do nothing. Yeah, you know, it's my evening to rest, whatever it is, being intentional about scheduling that margin into your time. I promise. We'll all be so much happier, well-rested, adjusted people if we'll schedule some margin into our time. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 38:35

And and you talked about how you and your family don't do anything on Sundays because you keep the Sabbath rest. Um, kind of jump, kind of explain that a little bit more. Um, and I'm picking you to do it just because you have a family, but it's not okay, Sabbath rest, we're all taking naps. Right.

SPEAKER_01 38:56

It's not that. No, it's not. Um, no, and I, you know, I feel like I learned a little bit more about this idea of Sabbath rest actually through one of our women's conferences at church. We had a whole breakout session on the Sabbath. It's not that, it's not this idea of everybody has to go to the room and be quiet and rest. Everybody's napping all day. Um, more so for us is this idea of slowing down, of not scheduling ourselves out, um, of really just taking a step back from activity and really reflecting on the day, being together. You know, I laugh because my husband does not like to sit and rest. But for him, going to work in his shop and doing some things out there, tinkering around, is a form of rest for him. That's he doesn't have to go, he doesn't have to be on, he doesn't have to do X, Y, and Z. You know, he just has some time out there to reflect. And I think for us, that's more of what it is. It's a we are saying, like we're acknowledging that God rested on the Sabbath, that He set that Sabbath principle in place for us to follow, and we are going to mirror that in slowing down on that day. We are going to, you know, whatever, if we are sitting and everybody's watching a show together as a family or um whatever it is, but it's just really intentional slowing down and just taking some time to breathe to think through the week, think through the day at church, um, things like that.

SPEAKER_00 40:38

Yeah. I think from a singles point of view, too, um, just to give two different ideas of what Sundays look like, um is mine is a reset, but also a preset for a reset from the previous week, but then also I like to get prepared for the next week. And to me, I'm grocery shopping by myself, um, I meal prep by myself, I take my dog for a walk, I do my laundry, like I'm still doing, but my brain like I'm I'm able to kind of turn my brain off and just do those things to get myself prepared. Um, I have been guilty of working on Sundays, um, and it definitely I've noticed, and why I've fully have stepped back from it, is it really shifts my the rest of my week, like just not in a good, yeah, not in a good way. Like I'm definitely more snappy at work. I don't have time to appreciate, so then I go and I eat out food, and that food makes me just feel groggy and gross. And I don't take my dog for his walks and he gets grumpy too. Like it just kind of just snowballs. Yeah. And so I like to I like that reset into a preset.

SPEAKER_01 42:02

Yeah, I agree with you 100%. And I think that especially for us as a family in the in during the school year, that's a lot of what it looks like. Um, the summers we're a little more lax on, you know, what we're preparing for. But, you know, also too because on Sundays we have community group in the evening after church, and so um we typically take that time between church and so and community group to just kind of do those things, like you said, to do laundry. To I try really intentionally to take some time to just sit in the chair and put my phone down and not do anything, but letting the kids have some time to just play free play, I'm not structuring activities, things like that, just preparing um for the week and for going back to community group at night, whatever that looks like. But um, yeah, it it's not just everyone's going to take naps for three hours. It's really intentional slowing down while preparing for whatever we have coming.

SPEAKER_00 43:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:06

So it does look different for everybody, um, but it is such a good practice to put into place. Um, I will never once regret our Sundays being being that. I just I have a hard line on that and what Nathan and I are willing to do on Sundays. Um, and it's not to be mean, it's not to miss out on things, but it's just the rhythm we've developed for our family. What anything else? Anything, any other practical ways you think that we can fight against the kind of idol of busyness?

SPEAKER_00 43:40

I think I just go back to who's in your circle. Yeah. Who is either encouraging you to constantly stay busy, stay moving, yeah, or who notices you keeping yourself so busy you're starting to withdraw. Yeah. Um, and just to help kind of bring Back to ground level. Um, just surround yourself with people that want to see you grow, but also wants to make sure that you're keeping the Lord as your top priority and making sure that you're not over scheduling yourself to where now he's kind of being pushed down because these other things are becoming more port more important.

SPEAKER_01 44:24

Yeah, if you're surrounding yourself with people that are just thriving in hustle culture, then that's what you're gonna do. But if you're surrounding yourself with people that are intentional about their time with the Lord and intentional in their time of rest, then that is also gonna be what you mirror because that's what you're seeing. Also, do I I do think it matters kind of what everyone around you is doing. Um and how, you know, how do you reflect that? How are you doing that? Also, I think practically making sure, I think I already said this, but making sure you schedule or plan your time to be in the to be with the Lord. And it feels so like, ooh, I kind of cringe when I say I have to schedule that. But I don't mean schedule it as in it has to happen at 8 a.m. or you know, whatever. But being intentional of just deciding this is a hard line that has to happen before anything else happens. You know, I think in the past you and I did like a little challenge where we were like, I cannot get on social media until I have spent word time in the word. Um, and that's a good practical kind of accountability for yourself. If I haven't spent time in the word and it's 5 p.m., I better not have been on social media all day. You know, practically prioritizing the things that actually matter. And our relationship with the Lord is the thing that matters. Living out the gospel, reflecting Christ in all we do is the thing that matters, and really the thing that fuels us for everything else we do. Really, we don't do anything without that, everything else we do. That really is the base of everything we do. Yeah, it's that idea that I've talked about before of like above all else, like following and glorifying him above all else. Everything has to fall in line under that, under serving the Lord and honoring him. And so, how is everything gonna fall under that if I'm putting everything on top of that? So, practically kind of asking yourself that question. So, I think busyness itself isn't the problem. The question is whether we are working from a place of resting in Christ or trying to earn significance and worth through what we accomplish. We know that God calls us to faithfulness, not frantic striving. And so I think that's something we have to prioritize and we have to model in our lives. Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is to trust Him enough to rest. Absolutely. That is hard for us, but what greater act of faith to say, you know what, I don't have to hustle and strive and work and manage all of these things. I don't have to keep all of these balls juggled up in the air to keep them from falling because the Lord alone sustains and the Lord alone is working, and so I can take time to rest. Yep. So I want to leave you guys today with another verse from scripture. It comes out of Psalms 127, and it says, Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil, for he gives to his beloved sleep. Um, so it's just a good reminder to us that rest is from the Lord. It is good, it is how we restore ourselves. And never once in scripture do we see the Lord calling us to busyness, to striving, to placing a million activities and things over him. So this has been another episode of the Living with Grace and Sass podcast, where real life meets best friend banter. New episodes drop every other Wednesday, so be sure to like, follow, subscribe, and share on your favorite platform. Come join our next conversation, Bestie. Bye.