But That's Not How I Thought This Would Go

We've all had moments when life didn't unfold the way we expected. The relationship didn't work out, the diagnosis came, the prayer seemed unanswered, or the dream we held so tightly slipped through our fingers. In those moments, disappointment can reveal something deeper—have our expectations quietly taken the place of trust?

In this episode, we're talking about the idol of expectations and how easily we can elevate our plans, timelines, and desired outcomes above God's sovereign will. We'll discuss the expectations we place on God, others, ourselves, and life in general, and how unmet expectations can lead to frustration, anxiety, and even resentment.

Join us as we explore what it looks like to surrender our carefully written scripts, trust God when life doesn't go according to plan, and find peace in knowing that His purposes are always greater than our expectations.

Because sometimes faith isn't believing God will do what we want—it's trusting Him when He doesn't.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey guys, welcome back to the Living with Grace and Sass podcast.

SPEAKER_01 0:03

We are your co-hosts, Katie and Sierra. So I know for the last few weeks, Sierra on here, we've been talking about different idols in our lives. We talked about the idol of busyness, we talked about the idol of body image and kind of what those things look like in our daily life. And so today we're going to kind of wrap up this talk on idols, but talking about really what I think might be one of the harder topics. And it's this idea of the idol of expectation. This is something you and I've talked about for a little while. And it's this idea that we are almost grieving or idolizing this life that we expected to happen. And how that plays out in our daily life with the Lord.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Yes. And um it's almost like, you know, when you're a kid and you have like this list of dreams, what do you want? Yeah. I wouldn't say I necessarily was that type of kid because my career changed every every year. Like I wanted to be a vet, then I learned you had to put down animals, said no to that. I wanted to be a dentist, then want to go to school for that. Like just it constantly changed. Um, but there were definitely aspects in my life that I was like, okay, this is gonna happen by this age. Yeah. I mean, I've seen it in the movies, I've seen it with older people when I was in high school, like this is gonna happen by this age, and then everything else will just lay out. And it is hard because when I say literally none of them have come have happened, literally none, not even possibility have happened. Um it it can definitely be discouraging, um, just because I feel like, like you said, we're grieving, I'm grieving this life that I thought I wanted. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Yeah, I was gonna ask you how many of those things on that list? And then you're like, none, none of them. Um, but I am right there with you. I think we do that, we create this life that we want in our heads and the way things are gonna go. Um, and then when it doesn't happen, then we have this, we come to this like crisis moment. And it doesn't necessarily feel like an idol at the time. Um, when I think back through all of those what I would call unmet expectations in life, I would never have said, Oh, that was an idol. But then when you kind of start digging underneath it, and as we've kind of talked through what are different idols in our lives that don't always on the surface appear like idols, I was like, oh man, that really is because we really are grieving this life that God never actually promised to us, but that we wanted so desperately. Um, you know, I think for me, my my plan, you know, I'm such a planner, I'm so type A that planned everything out. I was laughing this week because I was telling Nathan that my brother and I used to watch, I used to make him watch, we would watch a dating story followed by a wedding story, followed by a baby story on TLC all summer long every day. I would make him watch that. Um, and then probably that Trading Spaces show where they decorated each other's houses. But anyways, but I would make him watch I know he's probably still better about it, but I would make him watch those, and it was like it's so funny. But inside there was like this little girl that was like, I'm gonna date the perfect guy, I'm gonna get married, and we're gonna have a baby, and it's all gonna happen by this young age, or you know, whatever. Um, and then that's not the way life went at all. No, it did not happen that way. Um, and so then I think we do, we have we come to this like, well, now what feeling, and how do I feel about the fact that the expectation wasn't met?

SPEAKER_00 3:57

It's almost like I have to erase my vision board. Yeah, I don't know where to start now because I've had this idea for so long. I've held on to it that now I'm like, I'm just I just feel like I'm looking at a blank canvas. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

No, I agree with you. And I see it's funny that you said the vision board because I see people make vision boards for like different things, for you know, whatever jobs, goals, and like those things are fun to make, but there's also this part of me that's like, no, don't make those things because like you cannot envision it, you cannot manifest it into being. Um, and I think we sometimes just even on a superficial level in society, we do that with different things. Oh, yeah. Um, it doesn't even have to be some deep thing that we're expecting. It can be something silly, but we're still like trying to manifest it into being on our own uh by these cute little Pinterest boards and vision boards that were making Oh the Pinterest boards, you know, right?

SPEAKER_00 4:54

And we still use Pinterest, I don't care what anybody says. I'm not using whatever that new one is. No, this millennial is going to use Pinterest till the day she dies, or it's not on Pinterest.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

So it's gone. Um, but yeah, no, I do think that all of those things come from this idea of like we have this plan of how things should go. And some of that do you feel like is conditioned from society? Oh, yeah. But then I think also some of it is just like our own wants and desires because some of them you and I might have some of the same things that we had expectations for, but also some things that are different too. Um, and so it is kind of this this plan that we have for our life, and how does that play out? Um, you know, I laugh all the time. I already said it once on here that I'm so type A, but I'm definitely that like follow the rules, know the consequences, not gonna even like tiptoe close to the consequences person. And that's just kind of how I do life and have always done life. Like, I don't want to deal with, I don't want someone to be disappointed in me. I don't want someone to think I did something wrong. Um, and so in some ways that plays out in my life of like, God, I did everything right, you know, and I think that's really where this ex this idol comes in of like I did everything right and you didn't do what I wanted, or you didn't do what I thought you should do. And I think that that's where this crisis comes in of like, okay, well now what? How do I deal with this? How do I manage this? How do I tear this down?

SPEAKER_00 6:33

Yes, because I mean in school, if you do like every if you follow the instructions on your worksheet, then you get a good grade. Yeah. If you practice hard, then you play better as an athlete. Like if you constantly are working and following rules, then on earth we do get rewarded. Um but that's like on a I I guess you would say a more superficial level, because on the deeper end of it, yeah, if I read my Bible, if I went to church, um built that fellowship, um all the checked all these boxes, then okay, Lord, now I'm ready for my reward. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

It was the reward I wanted. Yes, I like it's the thing I had planned. Yeah, and and it's like we put God on a timeline. Yeah. Yeah, we do, and I think that's part of that. Is it's it's expecting God to act on our timeline according to our plans, instead of surrendering to his plans. It's saying, you know, I did all these things you required of me, or that you that I was supposed to do, and you then you didn't act. Now it's your turn, it's your turn to do to fulfill part of this.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

It's almost like you're like sitting on the edge of a bed, just like twiddling your thumbs, waiting. Exactly. Okay, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

Um, and it's so contrary to scripture, right? We know that. Um, we know that there's nothing, no part of our relationship with Christ that is like I do this and then you do this. That's contrary to scripture totally. We know that nothing we can do can earn God's favor, nothing we can do can earn God's blessing, nothing we can do can earn our own salvation. Like it is all God, it is all Christ-driven, it is everything by Him as He sees fit, but we um live in a way that our expectations should always be met. And that's hard. It's also hard to tell somebody God might not actually do that thing. Oh, yes, you know, yes, we talked about that a little bit um when I shared, you know, about our our fertility issues, and and Brady saying to me that day, like, I won't sit here and tell you that God will do everything, or that God will do this thing that you want him to do, and how that was kind of his crisis of faith for me. Um, and that it's still hard, I know that, and I can live by that, but it's still hard now to counsel and encourage other people when you're saying, I love you, God loves you, but he might not actually do this thing that you want him to do.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

It is um it's definitely challenging. I um I mean I talked about it a couple times, just about going through this life of singleness. There, I don't know where it truly has stemmed from, but I do remember one time I was in high school, I want to say freshman sophomore, um, I went to this other church, they were having some event, um, some type of purity class. Um, a couple of my friends and I went and this lady um told us that I just laugh now, but I held on to it for years, that God has given if God didn't give us the desire to to find love, then uh then like we wouldn't have it. Basically, like he either gives you the desire or he gives you the desire to be a monk. Like you have no desire for a relationship, for love, for family, you have none of that, you just have the desire to serve. Yeah, and then there's the desire to love. And so if he gives you that, then he's gonna give it to you. And that like has messed with me. Like, I don't know to that. And that's been a cry sometimes. Like, Lord, why did you give this to me? If you gave this to me, take it back. If you're not gonna give me what I want. Yes. I constantly will just say, take it back. I don't want it if it's not if you're if you're not going to um check off my list. Yeah, exactly. You gave this to me, so now reward me with what you're giving me. Yeah, and so man, I wish I could go back and just tell her to stop telling young girls that's terrible advice. Yeah, don't tell people. It is not the cold. No, it's not the Bible. Like it's so unhelpful, is what you're saying. Yeah, it's like I wish someone had told me I can't promise you. Yeah, that's hard to grasp, but also it's truth. Yeah, he does not promise earthly desires.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

No, he doesn't, he doesn't, and it's so like it's so hard for us to wrap our heads around that because it is like I you saying that, and we've actually never talked about that before, but I feel that same thing in me of like with a desire for a biological child. And all the time my prayer is like, why do I still have this desire? Like, if this is not something you are going to give us, why do I still want this thing so badly? Um, and it is a constant prayer to like pry my fingers open and surrender to say, like, here, take this desire. It is what it is, it is all yours, whatever that looks like. But that is like years and years and years of practice saying, like, I'm opening my hands and handing this desire to you because I can't like I'm holding it so tightly. And it does, it drives me to bitterness, it drives me to anger, to resentment, to all these emotions that are not glorifying to the Lord. And it's all because I don't feel like God is holding up into the bargain, he's not meeting the expectation I had. Yeah. And it's it's so I don't know. That's why I think the more I thought about this topic, the more I was like, this might be the thing that I struggle with the most of all these items we've talked about. This might be the one that takes the cake for me here because I'm so much like a cause and effect. Like, if you do this, then this happens person. And so I have had to work really hard to not let my relationship with the Lord be like that. This, like, I do this because of this, not I do this because I want God to do if I do it, then He'll do this. I do this because of the heart surrendered to the Lord and the desire to be obedient. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Not because he's like, if you do this, I'll give you this thing. Exactly. I mean, he is our heavenly father, but he's not the father that if you go clean your room, you get 15 minutes of T or whatever the case may be. Yeah. Um that's hard, especially as adults. Yes, we're in our 30s, like that's hard. Yeah, eldest daughter, all the things.

SPEAKER_01 13:41

It is exactly it's hard. Um, and it's hard because life life is hard. And I think we want, I've talked about this before. I want life to be easy. I don't want to suffer, I don't want to face hardship, I want to manage and control everything enough that no one's upset about anything, everything's all good. And one, I know that's not realistic anymore. Like, I know that. But true, two, that becomes an idol. It's like if I control everything enough, then I never have unmet expectations. And like the older we get, the harder things get in life. Like, it's not getting easier. I would trade like middle school problems for adult problems, you know? Like what I thought was so difficult then has only gotten more difficult now. And so the stakes feel bigger, the the disappointment feels heavier, all of those things. And so we want even more to control them, and we also, this is gonna ruffle some feathers, we also think that we're owed something. Oh. I'm saying that to myself. No, absolutely for sure. We think that we deserve something, and that's really, I think, the underlying thing of this idol here is to say, I did this, so now I deserve to get this thing that I want. I deserve to have a biological child. I deserve for my family to all be healthy, I deserve for life to be easy, you know, I deserve all these things, you name it, whatever it is. Um, and when we start doing that, we put ourselves in the position of God and saying, Hey, I know better, and I deserve for you to do this thing that I want.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

And that has been lately that I've seen in Christians that that is such false teaching. Yeah. And thinking that, oh, if you follow the Lord and you do all the things, the Lord's commands that He's gonna give you, because like you said, I deserved it. And no, you're basically trying to take the place of God Himself. Yeah. And that is oh, that's such false truth. And it just it it I don't want to say it angers me, but it just it hurts my heart that manipulation comes from that. Yeah, for sure. And that's not the life that I want to portray to people because I know wholeheartedly I have no control. I like to conflict. I think I don't mean to. I have no control. We do. I have to remind myself daily. This is not in your control. Yeah, for sure. But um oh, that just I'm sorry, that just as soon as you said that I'm just like, oh think of all these Instagram reels that I've seen. I'm just like, no, this is that's false truth, and that's giving false hope to people. Yeah, and then that false hope then leads them away.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I I it's you said Instagram, and I'm like, I can think of several social media posts that I've seen from like people that are believers, and this like and I'm not again, I'm saying this to myself, and that's probably why I see them and they irritate me because it it is like that's you, you know, it's like calling out something inside of me that I don't like. Um, but it's that like even in this thing, like you know, you you actually got the thing you wanted, you were longing for, you were desiring that you had prayed so long for. You get that thing, and then it doesn't play out the way you wanted it to, it doesn't look like you wanted it to, and so then you're mad. You're like angry that God didn't do it exactly like you wanted, or like now I'm facing a trial in this thing, and it's like I get so frustrated because I'm like, that's the thing you wanted, like you were praying for that, but now you're mad about it, like you're upset, um, you're angry, and then it's like, why? What is the thing in our hearts that's driving that? I think about that sometimes in my own marriage, and I can say this because Nathan I've talked extensively about this. So when he listens to this, it's not really a surprise to him, right? Um, like y'all know I've talked about it, he has a brain injury. Life looks different for us, it's not always like this pick in literally no marriages. So whether he had a brain injury or not, I would still be probably saying this. Like, marriage is not always this like picture perfect storybook movie thing that like we're presented with in society. It takes hard work, it takes like deciding, hey, I'm gonna commit, even whenever you're irritating the heck out of me. Um, but you know, I often think, like, I prayed so long for a spouse. I wanted a marriage, I wanted to be married, I wanted someone to do life with. So, like, how dare I gripe and complain to the Lord or grumble whenever it doesn't look like I pictured in my head? When I have we have to do things a little bit differently because for whatever reason, yeah, you know. Uh Nathan calls me out on that with my children all the time. Like you wanted them, you wanted to be a mom, you knew what that came with, and now you're grumbling and complaining because it's hard. And I don't like to be cold at all. But it's the thing, right? It's that thing that when I see other people do it, it stirs up in me of like, why? What's the underlying discontentment? What's the underlying think that I deserve this and got to do it exactly the way I want it to be done? That is so true.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

I'm with you.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

I don't like being called out. Oh, I don't, for sure. It's probably why I was not loving this topic today that we picked.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

It's definitely knowing us, I can see why it's hard. Just because yeah. We like to con we like to think we can control the narrative. Yeah.

unknown 19:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

I want to control the narrative. When in reality, I just see the Lord just sitting and just laughing like you think, for sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

But you know, too, we see it in scripture too. Like we're definitely not alone in it. No. Which always gives me some comfort. Um, you know, like Abraham and Sarah, God had given them the promise, and then they still think he's gonna do it on their timeline. So Abraham goes, well, actually they both do. They both like come up with this plan to manage and make it happen the way they think it should happen. Um, and then it blows up in their faces, yeah, to some extent. Um, and then Jonah too, Jonah like is angry. I I the the end of Jonah is so like one uncomfortable for me to read because I'm like, ugh, like, why would you do that to God? But then like, dude, just told your tongue because you do that all the time. Yeah. I'm like gonna go sit and pout. Jonah's gonna go pout because God is, he just wants to watch God destroy the whole city. And then he's mad because God doesn't destroy the whole city, you know. Um, we see that. And then just even in Jesus' earthly ministry, like the disciples, all all the people expecting him to do something earthly, to establish an earthly kingdom, to come and be that like warrior that's gonna c conquer Rome for them, and then him not doing that. Um, and so we see it, we know that it's like built into this human sinful nature to to place expectations on the Lord that he never actually said, Hey, this is what I'm doing. Exactly. And then to be angry and upset whenever it doesn't play out like we think it should.

SPEAKER_00 21:43

Yeah, even um even in John, I mean, he talks about that he does promise that we will go through trials in life. Um and I think that. When we go through those trials, I mean, it's not that he's saying, Oh, I'm gonna give you this, I'm gonna give you this, I'm gonna give you this. No, that's not what he's saying, but I mean, sin has been brought into the world, so we're going to suffer. Yeah. Um, but in that suffering, I mean, it's so good to know that we have him. One, we have him, and knowing that in the end, that his good will prevail. Yeah. Um, and in knowing that he's gonna be with us through it. I mean, oh, I just lost it. But it talks about um I will walk with you through the valleys. Yeah. Um, and just knowing that, I mean, I just not think of that that cliche saying that her friend Amy talks about the footprints of the sand you're in a say. I mean, that's so funny, but it's so true. I mean, he's gonna walk with us through it, but yeah, he's not saying you're not gonna suffer. Right.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Yeah, he's saying quite the opposite. If you are going to have tribulation, you are going to have trials and suffering. Um, and I think that we often like expect that that's not going to happen. And I think that's where this becomes that idol is we are like grieving and angry and upset about something that he never even promised. I'm mad because life isn't going the way I want it to go, and it's not all sunshine and rainbows and whatever. Yeah. Um, whenever he's like, that's actually not what I said. That was never going to be the thing, right? And so we're grieving this idea that that was not even promised to us in the first place.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

And that's such a big argument that I've seen lately from non-believers. Yeah. If God loves us, then why does he why is there death? Why is there uh natural disasters? Yeah. And it's because there is sin in the world. I mean, yeah. From the beginning, when Adam and Eve ate the apple, ate from the tree. Yeah. Yeah. It's just I get it's hard to understand that we serve this magnificent Lord who who is good, yeah, who loves us and wants good for us, but still allows us to walk through hard times. I mean, I think of my mom when she she wants growing up, she wanted so badly for us to take different paths than she did. And I didn't understand it then, but I understand it now that there were some paths we still had to walk through to learn and to become strong and independent, but then also to be able to lean into the strength of the Lord. I mean, if we're walking through life and everything's honky dory, then then why would I want to trust the Lord? Right, exactly. Why do I need to trust?

SPEAKER_01 25:01

Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah. And I think that as believers, we do a disservice to an unbelieving world by acting like acting like this. Acting like I did all the right things, so God should bless me and I should never face suffering. Like, one, why are we shocked when we face suffering? We know it's coming. And then two, why are we angry and mad? Because we're doing like I mean we're living in a way that's not biblical, we're reflecting, we're not reflecting the true heart of the gospel whenever we act like everything's gonna be fine all the time. And I'm mad when it's not, because that's not again, like you were saying, that's not what God promised. There is sin in the world, there's been sin in the world since the fall in the garden, and we to act otherwise, to have this air about us that I've done enough good things that nothing bad should happen, and now I'm mad when it does, like we really are not reflecting a heart that's been changed by the gospel and that trusts solely in the Lord. Exactly. And it's such it's so convicting to me. It's like, why am I grumbling? Why am I complaining about all of these things when I know that suffering is coming? It should totally change our mindset, it should totally change the way that we interact with the world.

SPEAKER_00 26:24

Yeah, no, I completely agree. Um, so what what do you think are some good ideas in regards to changing that mindset and and seeing when we are starting to make that expectation an idol in our lives?

SPEAKER_01 26:47

Yeah, I think we have to ask ourselves like, am I feeling constantly disappointed um by life? Are the circumstances that I'm going through driving or like developing this idea of constant disappointment? Am I having trouble trusting in God regardless of what's going on around me? I think those are definitely questions we have to ask ourselves um to kind of gauge is this are my expectations in this situation becoming an idol? Um, I think some other ones too are am I getting bitter when life doesn't go as planned? Oof. Um, you know, I've I've dealt with that, and that's why I can say it because I've been there, I've experienced that. I have to battle against that sometimes. Um I, you know, for me, sometimes it's like, am I getting angry and mad at the people around me because they're griping and complaining that life didn't go the way they wanted? And I'm ticked off because they're griping and complaining. And then I'm like, okay, well, why am I mad? Well, okay, it's because there's this thing in me that's mad. Like you got what you wanted, or you got what I wanted, and now you're complaining about it. Um, and it's really because there's this thing in me that's actually feels like my expectations haven't been met.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:07

And so kind of asking ourselves those questions. Um, do I have a lot of anxiety over the future? Am I feeling entitled to something? Um, if those things are constantly yes, then is it because that is an idol in my life and that I think God owes me something and my expectations are not being met, or I think they should be met in a certain way.

SPEAKER_00 28:31

Absolutely. Um especially especially the anxiety over the future. Um, actually, my mom mentioned this last night, and I didn't realize it until now that we're talking just about talking about these idols have really kind of just stirred up something in me. I guess I'm facing a mirror and I'm really talking to myself. Yeah. Um, and just about she said that because I've I will be honest, this past week I've really been struggling with anxiety. And she said, Do you think you feel like you're having this anxiety because the the the enemy is fighting against you right now? Now that this stuff is kind of becoming clear, yeah, because we're talking about it, so now I need to kind of be aware of what I'm talking about. Yeah. Um and that control over the blank canvas, right? I feel like that's what I have right now is a blank canvas of what the future looks like. And I don't want to say accepting that some things aren't gonna happen because again, I still don't know, but just accepting that I've had this expectation and it has been an idol without me realizing.

SPEAKER_01 29:53

Yeah, it's hard, and it I think that's the thing we that's why you and I have talked over the last, you know, however many episodes about really asking those heart questions and asking ourselves what is you know, here's what it looks like on the surface, but underneath, what is it? And it really like, okay, this thing I've been wanting, I've desired, you know, whatever it is, it's become an idol. Um, and how do we how do we face that now? Because, you know, now that I've brought it into the light, now I have to deal with it. Yes. Um, and it's hard because it's it's not even bad things. It's not like we're worshiping golden calves, you know, we're not creating graven images, it's good things that the Lord graciously gives at times. Um, other times he doesn't give, but it's this idea that I deserve it, I want it, I desire it, um, and now I have to deal with the fact that this is not meeting what I know of the Lord or what he has planned for me. And it's hard, it is not easy.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

No, and then sometimes kind of like you with your marriage, like the things you desire don't come in a way that you were expecting. Yeah. Yeah. Um and sometimes that can just kind of throw you off. It's like, oh, you did give me what I want. It's not exactly what I want, but I'm still grateful that I got what like it. I don't even know how to put it into words. Like it just I don't want to say it, just it's it's messing with your brain, but it just makes you realize that even what you pray for, it may not look exactly how you want it. In the end, the Lord will still give you what your heart desires on his timing and what is for his glory.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

Yeah, for sure. Like it I mean, it may not look like you thought, it may not even be the thing you wanted, like that you thought so desperately that you wanted. But the more we look like him, the more we're sanctified, the more we reflect Christ every single day. Also, the more those desires shift and change because he's shifting them and molding them, and you know, the verse he will give you the desires of your heart. I would argue is probably one of the most taken out of context verses in all of scripture because it's not literally I want a and so God is going to give me a if I follow him, right? Like God is going to give me the desires, he is going to mold me and shape me to look more like him if I live in constant surrender, and I think that that's how we start tearing down those idols is we we hold all plans, all desires with open hands, right? Like I um, you know, again, I never could have imagined what my marriage would look like, what my kids would look like. I could have a picture in my head. What God has given has been something so much greater, even on the hard days. Like, even on the hard days, it's still better than I could have ever imagined. Um, but it it does constantly take living life with open hands and everything. Saying, here's the plans I have, but I'm gonna hold very loosely to them, and I'm going to trust that you know best that you are God, that you are going to mold me and shape me and give me the things that you see fit to give ultimately for my good and your glory. And so I think that that is a huge step in tearing down this idol of expectation in our life is living with fully open hands um and just surrendering all plans to him. Um so what are some other things that you think, what are some other ways that we tear down the side that we battle against it?

SPEAKER_00 33:59

Um I think I think definitely practicing gratitude in the things that he has given us. Um I actually use that um when struggling with anxiety, or um, I use it on a friend once recently of name five things that you're grateful for right now. And sometimes sometimes it is hard just because you're in the moment and you're focusing so hard on the things that you want that it makes it hard to see the things that you have, but the more you practice it, the more your eyes just become clear to the goodness of God in your life. Yeah. Um, and just understanding that some prayers that you've prayed that you I don't want to say you've almost forgot about that gratitude makes you realize, oh, that was actually answered. Yeah. And that's where um we've been journaling a lot more to help us see, oh, this prayer has been answered. Um, because we do get so blinded by the wants and desires. Um, and so practicing gratitude and and journaling about that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

Yeah, I love that. And I that's a rhythm that I've tried to just continue developing. Um, you know, I have that gratitude journal that looks like a blank planner, and every month filling it out with the days of the month, and every day going in and writing something that I have to be grateful for. Um it does, it changes your mindset and it changes your focus whenever you are saying, Oh, actually, this thing that I prayed for, God did answer that. You know, it may look different, but here's how he answered, um, and really just changing our hearts to gratitude because you can't be grateful for something and then still feel like you're owed something at the same time. Like, I don't feel like you can hold gratitude and entitlement at the same time. Definitely not, and so if we're focusing on gratitude, that that pries our hands off of that entitlement aspect of our lives. Um, I also think another way to tear that down is to distinguish between expectations and promises. Because there actually are promises in scripture that God does give us. Um, and so fill again, it's filtering every bit of life through scripture. This thing I want, this thing I desire, is this actually a promise that God is going to give this, or is this just an expectation? And I would think honestly, for a lot of life, day to day, it's just an expectation, right? Yeah. Um, God does give us very specific promises in scripture, but um, it's not I'm gonna give you a biological child, I'm gonna give you a husband, I'm gonna give you a good job, I'm gonna give you good health. It's not those things, right? Uh it's that I will be with you, I will, you know, I go before you, like I promise to make covenant and to make relationship with you, those types of things. And so every decision saying every every every thought I have, is this an expectation or is this a promise?

SPEAKER_00 37:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:13

That helps us distinguish and kind of tear that down.

SPEAKER_00 37:17

You say that, and it makes me think of growing up, my mom would always say, Is that a want or a need? Yeah, and it would make me so mad. But as an adult, I appreciate that so much now because it really makes you stop and think, is this thing a want or a need? And to make it more um question about towards the Lord, like, is the desire, is something is hmm, slow down. Is the thing that I want gonna glorify the Lord or is it gonna glorify myself? Yeah, exactly. And if you can't figure out which way that is, probably it's gonna be on the self. You just don't want to admit it. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 37:59

No, I think that's such a good um kind of metric to ask ourselves. You know, all these things we tell our kids, they don't change when we get to be an adult. We still have to tell ourselves, we just stop telling ourselves that, right? I just say, like, a lot of adult money, so I can buy the want. I don't care if it's a need, you know, I don't care, whatever, but um, it's the same, and it's the same with our walk with the Lord. We continue to ask ourselves, and I think the problem comes when we stop asking those questions. You know, if we get to a point where we're not even questioning things, we're not trying to decipher like is this what the Lord has or is this what I want? And that's when we really fall into trouble.

SPEAKER_02 38:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

Um, and I think uh at the end of the day, on all of these things, whether it's expectations, whether it's the other two things, the busyness, the body image, all of those things, to live a life that can continually tears down idols, we have to live with surrender. We have to surrender our outcomes, our expectations, our timelines, really all of life. We have to surrender to the Lord and say, Do with it what you will, um, and continue shaping me to look like you. So that's what we're trying to do. It's not easy, and I hope no one listens to this and thinks that we have it all figured out because I hope I've given you enough examples to know that I do not. Seriously, that is definitely something we still deal with and struggle with. And I think that's why you and I felt like these were important conversations to have. Because honestly, like the topic of idols, like it's not a super like cheerful, funny, like, oh yeah, let's chat about idols. Um, it's not a so good conversation. It's not, but you know, Nathan asked me this week, just as like a check-in, like, what is your goal with the podcast? And again, I said to be an encouragement and to reflect the Lord. Like, I want other people to listen to these and be like, I feel the same way. How do we walk forward in this? How do we grow deeper in our relationship with the Lord? And I that really is my heart, and I am your heart too for every episode on this podcast. That it may not be like the funniest, like fun topic, but at the end of the day, is it drawing us deeper? Is it pointing us more towards Christ? And that's what you and I both want for each other and for everyone listening.

SPEAKER_00 40:22

And to to open up those conversations with those in your circle, whether you know us personally um or or not. I mean, just to be able to have those conversations with people that you surround yourself with because you want to surround yourself with like-minded people, and you want to surround yourself with people that you can have those vulnerable conversations with, yeah. Um, because deep relationships come with vulnerability, and yeah, I'm not the best at being vulnerable, but knowing that I've can comfortably talk about those things with people in my life, and knowing that they're gonna encourage me to walk in the light of the Lord. Yeah, I mean, that's also one what we want out of this is yeah, just to have more biblical fellowship with people and talk about the hard things, they're not all easy to talk about.

SPEAKER_01 41:17

Yeah, yeah, you're exactly right. I had that thought last night too of like, I want to be known as someone that is willing to have deep conversation. I don't want to be known as someone that's always just superficially talking about things that don't actually matter. Those are fun, like I'm not saying don't have those conversations. Like we laugh. We get a group of girls together and we laugh and talk about the dumbest things and sound like we're high middle school, high school girls again. But like I want everything that I talked about to be profitable and to be pointing people back to Christ and to grow in their relationship with the Lord. Um, and I think that's the root of these conversations for both of us is is a desire for that um and for that to just continue even off the podcast of like having conversations. Yeah. So with that, hey, I'm gonna segue into this. We're going off the fly because I did not say we were talking about this, but we are. So that segues into um we are gonna start a new like section, a new like part of the podcast. Yeah. Where we answer questions from you guys. So we have a form, we'll post the stuff about it online. So be looking for that in the coming days. Um, but basically it's a form you go in and fill out and you ask us anything. Um question you want us to answer. That could be something we've like clarification for someone we've talked about before, something like just a burning topic question you have in your head that you're like, hey, I need someone to answer this. Um, really, whatever it is, we want to hear from you guys and we want you to um ask us the questions.

SPEAKER_00 42:58

Yeah, we'll either answer it on our next episodes coming up, or we'll answer it on on our Instagram. So just in case you're not following us, um, you should definitely check out our Instagram. It's Grayson Sass Co. Um and definitely follow along. We'll be answering things on there as well. Yeah. And yeah, I'm excited about this. I am too. So get your questions ready.

SPEAKER_01 43:21

We're ready. Give them to us. Ask us all hard questions. The more uncomfortable, the better. I'm just kidding. Kind of. Kind of, but um, yeah, so that's exciting. We'll be doing that new little like segment on the podcast going forward. Um, so we'll post all the stuff about that and then we'll just keep going.

SPEAKER_00 43:40

One day I like totally envision us as uh as we um hopefully go into making video uh um vlogs, I should say, of our podcast. I don't know what the terminology is, but anyways, where we have video um as well as audio, I want like a little bowl to put the questions in. So we're not prepared, we just pull it up. We're just gonna answer them on the fly.

SPEAKER_01 44:04

Yep. Today's question comes from and you don't have to put your name if you don't want to. That is also uh yeah, you want to be incognito. Yeah, so be looking for that. Um, and we're just gonna keep going. Yeah, hopefully we're gonna go to some topics other than idols soon. Right? It's been rough for ourselves. They have so, but today we do want to leave you guys with our closing verse, just like always. Um, and that verse comes from Philippians chapter one, verse 20, and it says, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage, now as always, Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. Um, and just living in a way that always reflects the Lord with full courage, that he will always be honored in everything that we do, in everything that we say, um, whether in life or in death. Amen. So, this has been another episode of the Living with Grace and Sass podcast, where real life meets best friend banter. New episodes drop every other Wednesday. So be sure to like, follow, subscribe, and share on your favorite platform. Come join our next conversation, Bestie. Bye.