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Politics For Happy People
Protect Our Daughters: Girls Speak Out About School Privacy
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This week on Politics for Happy People, Joseph Backholm and Ashley Vaughan discuss the growing debate surrounding privacy and safety in North Carolina schools. The episode highlights firsthand stories from female students who say they have encountered biological males in girls’ bathrooms and locker rooms, and explores the legal, cultural, and political battles surrounding Title IX, school board policies, and state legislation.
The conversation features powerful audio from students speaking directly to lawmakers and school officials, as well as reactions from Congressman Addison McDowell. Joseph and Ashley also unpack how this issue has become a flashpoint in local schools, state government, and national politics — while discussing the broader questions of truth, safety, parental concerns, and public policy.
This episode examines why so many families believe North Carolina lawmakers must act to protect privacy in female spaces and why this issue continues to resonate with parents across the state.
Am I doing this or are you doing this? I think you are. Okay. Welcome to Politics for Happy People. I'm Joseph back home. This is a place where we have fun conversations about serious issues. Ashley, good to see you.
SPEAKER_03Good to see you, Joseph.
SPEAKER_00Anything going on in the world?
SPEAKER_03We've had a week. We've had a really good week, haven't we?
SPEAKER_00We have, yeah. I mean, we have had a week when you're in, you know, public policy and here in North Carolina. The legislature is in session, and there's always lots of excitement and drama and activity, and we've had some ourselves. Uh we hear some rumors that maybe we're going to get a budget someday here in North Carolina.
SPEAKER_03I saw that yesterday. Yeah, it was a big day yesterday.
SPEAKER_00But we don't work on a budget. We are working on bathrooms, though.
SPEAKER_03We are working on bathrooms, and we've had a great, we've had some great strides, I think, this past week, bringing attention to this issue and really showing people why it matters in our state.
SPEAKER_00And to catch people up, what is it that matters?
SPEAKER_03What is it? So in North Carolina right now, boys are permitted to enter girls' private spaces, including bathrooms and locker rooms. And in my opinion, the most egregious place where this is happening is our K-12 public schools.
SPEAKER_00K through 12 public schools, it happens. It happens in jails, in prisons. That's interesting. I I you know, my home state of Washington, there was just there in the last week a uh a lawsuit from a prisoner there who was sexually assaulted multiple times by the man that they put in her cell because the man claimed to be a woman.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00Um, because in Crazy Town, men who are convicted criminals are allowed to basically put themselves into the women's facility by saying, Hey, I'm a woman now. And uh when you're dealing with a criminal element, do some of them exploit that opportunity? Sadly, they do, and uh the adults in the room are not wise enough to be so ridiculous. No, that's one of the applications that affects fewer people than, of course, than school locker rooms and and bathrooms, but yes.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, well, and that's also you know a problem because it's that is allowed in North Carolina as well.
SPEAKER_00Um just because you have committed a crime and are in the pen in the g in in the um penitentiary system does not mean that you should that we should just facilitate sexual assault. And that should go without saying it. Yes.
SPEAKER_03So last week we talked to some girls in Cavaras County who have encountered biological males, boys, in the girls' bathroom. We talked to uh Trista Ruck, who goes to Cox Mill High School, and she told us about how multiple times now throughout the school year she has encountered a male in the bathroom. She told us how it makes her feel uncomfortable. She told us how she feels unsafe. We were able to interview her and produce a short video, which we posted on our social media platforms on X, on Facebook, and on Instagram. And we also interviewed three other girls who go to Mount Pleasant High School, which is near Concord. Um, all of this is in in Cabaras County. And they are their names are Addie, Lila, and Sophia. And they told us that their friend just recently, a couple weeks ago, encountered a boy in the girls' bathroom. And they were so upset about this. Um, they said their friend was crying. She went to the teacher. The teacher said that she couldn't do anything to stop it. Um, her parents went to the principal. The principal said, There's nothing I can do to stop this. So her mom and the parents of these other three girls, they went to the school board. The school board said, There's nothing we can do to stop this separately. Trista Ruck, who I mentioned earlier, um, she went to the school board, and and the school board is essentially telling these girls and telling their families that they cannot stop this because the legal advice that they are getting is that Title IX means that it would be discriminatory to tell this boy who identifies as a girl or any boy that identifies as a girl that they cannot use the girls' restroom.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and and the the legal landscape on this is is evolving. You you mentioned this argument that the left has been making that that uh title that Title IX, and ironically, Title IX exists to create opportunities for women. And and what the left is trying to argue is that women includes men who think that they are women. And actual women are, of course, in many cases uh objecting to that. And we recently had a Supreme Court where the uh a Supreme Court decision, U.S. Supreme Court decision, where they acknowledged that it is permissible for a state to protect women on a biological basis. That is permissible. We are now about to get where the Supreme Court will soon speak to the question of whether states must protect women on a biological basis, which is a which is a different question, because a bunch of red states have offered those protections, and the left was saying that's illegal. You cannot protect women biologically. You must also include men who think there are women, and the Supreme Court said, no, that's not true. They have the the right to make that decision if they want to. The next question is: does Title IX obligate states to protect women on a biological basis? And and we're we're about we by the end of June, we expect to have a a decision on that question. And so there's a lot evolving here.
SPEAKER_03I want to go back to a minute for uh uh for a minute to what happened last week when we posted these short videos on our social media account from these girls. Um they reached out to us and asked us to come and help them tell their story. And we have an amazing our producer is also an amazing videographer. So we went out there, we traveled out to Kabaras County, and uh and Eli put together these reels, these short videos. And we should. Let's go ahead and do you have that queued up to play? Trista, yeah. Let's let's let's hear Trista's reel. Um, just hear Trista speak in her own words about what's going on in her high school.
SPEAKER_05You feel scared, terrified that something might happen to you.
SPEAKER_06I encountered a male in the female restroom. I walked straight into the restroom, did my business, and then whenever I went to go wash my hands, he walked in. He then just looked at me and then went about his business, but honestly, I felt uncomfortable. Why would I want someone who has different parts than me in the same bathroom as me? I went back into my ceramics class. I just I sat there. I didn't know what to do. I told one of my closest friends about it, and she said that she has also encountered the same thing, but in the locker room. I didn't tell my teacher I was scared to. I then went to the athletic director, and he told me that other people have talked to him about it too, and that matter needs to be taken up with the principal. But I knew that many girls my age and many girls in my class have gone up and talked to our principal about it and just get dismissed. We also have been told that this matter is quote unquote too political. It's not political because I was born with parts that a male wasn't born with, and being in the same restroom, in the same locker rooms, you feel scared, terrified that something might happen to you. I am asking lawmakers to protect me and my friends at school.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so that was Trista. She is so amazing and so brave to share her story. And after we posted that reel, something sort of incredible happened. It caught fire a little bit on the internet, and as well as the reel of the three girls from Mount Pleasant High School, a different high school in Cavares County where this is also happening, and people started sharing them and commenting on them, and it started this increased awareness as to what's going on, and Congressman Addison McDowell's office then reached out to us because this is his district. Cox Mill is in his district, and he his office reached out to us and they said, you know, how can we help? And so then we we kind of talked to them about what's going on in some of the the research that we've done about this issue, and his office agreed to partner with us um on this issue, and he did another video for us, another reel that we have. Um and Eli, can we can we play that now? This is Congressman Addison McDowell's response to Trista's Reel.
SPEAKER_01As a father of two daughters and one on the way, what is happening in Cabaras County at Coxmill High School disgusts me. And unfortunately, it isn't a single incident. Daughters across North Carolina in K through 12 are having their rights violated, their dignity shredded, and their safety being jeopardized. To those that would sit idly, our daughters are victimized by lack of action because it's too political. That is unacceptable. The Supreme Court was clear when it blocked President Biden's unprecedented attempt to redefine sex under Title IX. President Trump took action on day one, restoring common sense and enforcing Title IX based solely on biological sex. President Trump took action. We will defend our daughters. We will defend their dignity. I urge our leaders, our legislators, our school boards, our parents, our teachers, our administrators to take action and end any confusion that remains. Because we must protect our daughters.
SPEAKER_03Second thing I want to notice about this is it's so interesting to me how, you know, this issue it hits on all levels of government. You know, you've got these discussions going on at the school board, which we can talk about in a minute. You've got uh legislation being considered at the state level. And then you've got, you know, our Congress, our U.S. congressman, uh taking an interest in this issue uh rightly. And after that, he he wrote a letter to the Office of Civil Rights asking them to look into some complaints that these girls have filed.
SPEAKER_00The Federal Office of Civil Rights.
SPEAKER_03And watching and asking the Trump administration, we need to follow up on these complaints because this is happening in my district.
SPEAKER_00Because the Trump administration actually tried to deal with this day one. He referenced day one of Trump administration 2.0 when he issued an executive order saying if you do not enforce these facilities biologically, you will risk losing your federal funds.
SPEAKER_03Right, because schools get funds from the state and the federal government, right?
SPEAKER_00Correct. So that is the position that the Trump administration has taken. So yes, it you you recognize that this war is being fought at the very local level, and that's and and and I think we're gonna play with some school board discussion here in a moment. And then the conversation that we are having with state legislators right now, and then what Addison McDowell and and others and and Mark Harris has has stepped up as well uh at the federal level to kind of call for some sanity on this issue. And in one of the things that surprised me, you know, some of us are maybe even tired of like bathroom conversations because it's been the better part of a decade that we've been having conversations like this. But this week I went into a state legislative office with one of these young ladies who's kind of trying to tell her story to legislators, and she described the situation, and she was actually talking about her friend who was in the room with this guy who's basically taking over the bathroom in their high school, and his first response was, haven't we taken care of this already? And he's just he's a sitting state legislator, and he actually was under the impression that this has already been addressed, and sadly it has not been. So even within elected officials, there's some confusion about what the state of the law is, and they were kind of like surprised to learn that something needed to be done.
SPEAKER_03Most of the people that I talk to, just friends and out and about, they can't believe that it's that this is allowed. They say, isn't that already illegal?
SPEAKER_00Not only is it is it allowed in in terms of within a state that local school districts kind of have discretion, four counties Bunkham County, Charlotte Mecklenburg, Asheville City Schools, and then Orange County have written policies explicitly allowing boys who identify as girls to use these facilities. So they've taken kind of the the silence from the state legislature to um to affirmatively create an environment where you can do whatever you want. That's not the majority of the counties or the school districts.
SPEAKER_03Well, I think that I mean I think that's a good point. There are some school boards that haven't acted on this because I I suppose there's some confusion and they feel like their hands are tied and they can't because they don't understand the you know, their attorneys are telling them Title IX means you can't, you know, you can't adopt a policy preventing males from going into the female bathroom. But then as you as you say, there are other school districts that have adopted, quote, gender support guidelines, which essentially, you know, promote um uh this happening. So yeah, it's kind of interesting. And and I do think, I mean, I do hope that um this the General Assembly will act on this and and make it very clear uh that because we have pockets of this happening throughout the state and and it does need to stop.
SPEAKER_00It raises for me one of the interesting questions is kind of local control, because those of us who consider ourselves to be conservative, and and I'm one of them, um we like governments taking, you know, it decisions being made closest to the people affected by this, which is why I want school boards to be empowered. Um but in this question, and this is something that I think is worth discussing, well then if we are local control small government people, why do we object to a school board that says we want boys in the girls' facility if they feel like they are male? And I think it's a question that we have to wrestle with, because in general, I don't want you know people far, far away dictating what a community has to do. Um in this case, I think it is it is so chaotic and it is so destructive.
SPEAKER_03It is. It's there's a lot of con Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the the creation order matters, right? And in and truth matters. And it is as a as a state and as a society, I don't want us comfortable with the idea that in some communities, for this group of children, they're gonna be raised in an environment where up is down and down is up because that's how we feel today. And and so it's it's not like we're gonna I, you know, a lot of curriculum choices, I'm like, hey, you know, let's let the community work this stuff out. Um I want the people who are are closest, I want the people most affected and closest to the decisions being made, being the ones able to make those decisions. But there are some things that are so foundational civilizationally, like are we the creature or the cre you know, are we created or are we the creator? Do we get to make the rules or do we submit to the rules? And that's what I think is implicated in these decisions, is just the reality that we don't get to do whatever we want whenever we want to. And there are some creation order realities that we're gonna submit to, and one of those is you're a girl, I'm a boy, and that's just how it's gonna be. We don't get to negotiate this, we don't get to decide that doesn't apply to me today, and that has some rights and privileges that come with the way we were created by our creator, and we're not gonna pretend that we have control over those things.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and I think there are some other factors going on here, such as, you know, principals that feel that, you know, their hands are tied, they can't go against the school board, and then school boards that are getting evidently not good counsel on this issue. There is confusion that needs to be cleared up. I think the other thing is that there's a lot, there, there is still this element of social pressure and bullying and everything that makes it hard, you know, to stand. And that's why I was so thankful for Congressman McDowell saying what he did. Um, because you know, the reality is these girls, even these girls who are standing up and saying, Look, we want to be able to feel safe going to the bathroom at school, they have faced a lot of backlash. It's actually, it hasn't been easy. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I mean, cause because Addy, I I w I'd like to play this clip where she tells the the Cabaras County School District, school board, in her own words, kind of what her experience is. And I think she does a really good job giving voice to this.
SPEAKER_03So this was, let's see here, this was a school board meeting that took place on Monday the 11th.
SPEAKER_00Under the other. You got we got that? Let's play.
SPEAKER_04I'm a 15-year-old student at Mount Pleasant High School, and today I'm here because I care about my school. But more importantly, I'm here right now because students like me don't feel safe in spaces where privacy should be respected. There's been situations where a biological male has been in a woman's restroom. It was reported. It was retested. Nothing. That is unacceptable. When students speak up about safety and nothing happens, you send a message that we don't matter. You send a message that girls are accepted expected to stay quiet, stay uncomfortable, and deal with the situation by themselves. That is not leadership. That's failure. They're too afraid to do it themselves. Think about that for a moment. They're too afraid to speak up because they're scared to be ignored. Labeled for saying something. Mothers shouldn't have to worry whether their daughters feel unsafe in schools. To wonder whether the people they elected to protect their students are gonna dismiss them. If this board refuses to listen before something serious happens, the responsibility will fall on y'all. All the ones who ignored all warnings.
SPEAKER_00Now, Ashley, the point that she makes there is if you fail to ignore these warnings, then whatever happens is gonna be uh your responsibility. I predict that they will, in fact, fail to ignore those warnings, that that school board is not gonna change because of this testimony. And I think it's important to understand why, because the left is all about empathy, right? And in and if you if you cry in the right way to the right people, you can get a lot of things done in our current kind of emotionally driven climate. But why will Addy, who tells that story, not get the same response from people who claim to be highly, highly, highly empathetic because she is the wrong victim. And in their critical theory hierarchy, right, the the boy who identifies as the girl can be listened to. We are not not only do we have permission to care about his feelings, we must care about his feelings. Because in this dynamic, he is the oppressed. And Addy, that girl who was just speaking to the Cilberas County School Board, she is the oppressor as a cisgendered white girl who is experiencing all these privilege in her bathroom. She wants to impress the boy. And that is why emotionally they have been trained to listen to somebody like Addie and not care at all. Uh be unmoved emotionally, despite the tears. But when the trans identifying boy comes in and talks about how sad it is for him not to be able to invade these spaces. Heartbreak, empathy. Of course, we're going to move mountains on your behalf. And understanding kind of the emotional dynamics of those situations, right? Because these are people who will very often tell you, I care so much about the feelings of young people. We need to, you know, protect trans youth, right? All these kids that we care about. Well, if you're the right kid in their framework, we care very much. If you're not the right kid, we have given ourselves permission to not care at all.
SPEAKER_03Well, that's right. And, you know, we do get criticized, we meaning NC values, our organization, um by the mainstream media all the time for you know trying to take away trans rights. After we held a press conference on this topic yesterday, and after the press conference, um, I was thankful that the news and observer came. But they publ they published an article, and the the headline is advocates call on North Carolina to reintroduce bathroom restrictions for transgender people. And so you can hear it right there in the headline.
SPEAKER_00Who are they in the term they would use is centering, right? Who's the person that you're allowed to care about from their perspective is transgender youth, right?
SPEAKER_03Well, and there's what they're saying is essentially we're trying to take away trans rights. And the thing that never gets discussed is in order to give trans people these quote rights, whose rights are actually infringed upon and taken away. These girls, their safety, their privacy, and their dignity is taken away. And the reality is we can't have both, and we have to choose. And society has to choose.
SPEAKER_00Well, yes and no. I mean, I I think we have to recognize that everybody in this situation has rights. A kid struggling with an identity identity crisis still has rights, still deserves compassion. Of course.
SPEAKER_03I'm talking about as it specifically relates to the bathroom. They they are saying they have a right to this bathroom.
SPEAKER_00I'm I'm speaking narrowly about the fact that the I know I wasn't saying something that you disagreed with there, right? But as we wrestle through this, I mean, as as we're just citizens thinking about public policy, we recognize everything is trade-offs. There are no solutions in public policy. This is something that I came around to a long time ago. I say this to my kids all the time when we're making decisions about decisions about all sorts of things. There are no solutions, there are only trade-offs. And everybody involved has rights and dignity that we have to be concerned about. But yes, ultimately you do have to make a choice. What is the answer going to be? Because you cannot give everything, everyone what they want. That's not how how society operates. And so do we look at this and say, okay, um, the the right to privacy matters for actual biological women, or the right to have society affirm your sense of self-identity is paramount. And that's what the left is asking for, because they, you know, trans kids will be sad if all the adults say, actually, you're not a girl, you're a boy. And that's of course the right answer, and that's what the adults should say. But the toxic empathy that has entered this environment has disabled the adults from being willing to say true things, and so it's left up to the children.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and I completely understand what you're saying about about trade-offs. I think that this is a time when you take a step back and you say, okay, what's the right thing to do here? What would God have us do? And in this case, the right thing to do, and I believe when you follow the Lord, the right thing to do is what's best for all. It is not good for these gender-confused children to be going into the wrong bathroom.
SPEAKER_00Agreed. Affirming lies is not good for them.
SPEAKER_03I mean, lying to them about them. To me, I see hear your what you're saying about trade-offs. And in it I hear I hear what you're saying, but this is not, we're not losing anything here to say Well, in reality, you're right.
SPEAKER_00Emotionally, we have to deal with the fact that there are people who will want things that we're gonna say no to them, right? So there is, not in a policy sense, in an emotional practical sense, there is there is a risk associated with saying you cannot have what you want, right? And so people have to navigate that. School officials would have to navigate that, school boards, you know, people running these communities, there is a there is a cost associated with doing the right thing, practically speaking. And and that's what the left doesn't want us to pay. It's like, oh, because it's gonna make you sad if you hear the word no, we're gonna say yes to you under all circumstances, right? So as a policy matter, there's not really, I I I agree with you. Um, but whenever there's a debate about anything in policy, there's in some ways there is a trade-off. But yes, I think we agree.
SPEAKER_03So we did have a press conference yesterday, NC Values did, and we are asking the General Assembly to act on this issue and to make it the law of the state, a statewide solution preventing biological males from going into female private spaces in K-12 public schools, public universities, prisons, and rape crisis centers, which are a place meant to protect women. So if you're listening to this and you're wondering how you might contact your legislator, we've made it really easy. You can go to our website, ncvalues.org. We've set up a click to contact campaign. All you do is just type in your address, and I believe there's a uh kind of a pre-written text saying, hey, we want uh legislator, we want you to to vote to protect our daughters, and it'll send them a message. So if you are listening to this and you support this uh this effort, which you should, please do that.
SPEAKER_00That's right. It it is common sense and and people just need to understand how much of a difference it makes when you when you reach out and and talk to your legislator, because so few people do.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So few people do. It's a quick call, it's a quick email, and just say, hey, heard about this issue. Would really like you to make sure that you're you know you're protecting young women in women's spaces, and they will get the point. And and soon they're gonna have the opportunity to vote on this. And we hope they've heard from enough constituents that's right, that they are really enthusiastic, not only willing, enthusiastic to do the right thing because it's the right thing, uh, but we as the public need to make sure that the right thing is also good politics.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And it this is such such a big part of the mission of our organization and and why we started this podcast to really let people know what is happening uh at the statehouse, what is happening in our world, in our schools, and um and what can we do uh to get engaged and to make North Carolina a state where life, liberty, and family thrives. And um, so yeah, that's what we're here for. We want to help people uh under know what's going on, understand it, and really get engaged.
SPEAKER_00That's right. And we are grateful that you are part of that process. And thank you for joining us today here on Politics for Happy People. Quick reminder the new episodes do drop every Tuesday and every Friday. So there's always another one coming. If you learn something, share it with a friend, they will learn something as well, and we'll all be better for it. Thanks so much for your time. Look forward to seeing you next time on Politics for Happy People.