How Our Friendship Began

Welcome to Episode 4 of Six Voices, One Story.

In this heartfelt episode, Dee, Shaneena, Stephanie, Rhonda, Theresa, and Bisea take a walk down memory lane as they share the story of how their friendship began and what has sustained it for more than 25 years.

Hosted by Theresa, this conversation explores the foundation of their sisterhood, the early days of building trust, and the moments that transformed acquaintances into lifelong friends. Through laughter, reflection, and honest storytelling, the women discuss how God brought them together, the lessons they've learned along the way, and why intentional relationships are worth nurturing.

Together, they reflect on the beauty of growing up together, navigating life's milestones side by side, and remaining committed to one another through changing seasons. Their stories serve as a reminder that meaningful friendships are often built one conversation, one act of love, and one season of faithfulness at a time.

This episode celebrates the power of friendship, shared history, and God's hand in connecting people for a purpose.

In this episode:

• How our friendship began
• The moments that brought us closer together
• Growing through life's milestones side by side
• Lessons learned from over 25 years of friendship
• The role faith played in building lasting relationships
• Why intentional friendships are worth investing in

Reflection Question:
What is one friendship in your life that has stood the test of time, and what has helped it endure?

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:12

Welcome back to Six Voices One Story. I'm Teresa and we're so glad you're joining us. For more than 25 years, the six of us have shared life together through different seasons, experiences, and growth in our faith. Today we're taking a moment to look back at where it all started and reflect on how this friendship first began. Before we begin, let's take a moment for everyone to introduce themselves. Hello, I'm Bicea. Hi, I'm Shanina. It's Dee.

SPEAKER_04 0:44

Hi, this is Rhonda. Hi, I'm Stephanie.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

To start each episode, we want to share a quick getting to know me question. So, our question for this episode: if we were all cooking together, what is one food you would not trust yourself to make for the group? And I'll start. So for me, it's definitely fried chicken. You never want to eat my fried chicken. If you get fried chicken, it's because I purchased it at a store or someone else fried it for me.

SPEAKER_03 1:15

And I'll go next. I would not trust myself to make potato salad. Okay. First, Stephanie's mom had the best recipe, and only I believe within my heart that Stephanie can make it to share within the group.

SPEAKER_04 1:29

Thank you. I'll piggyback off of that. For me, it would be chicken breast. And if it was boneless and skinless, just because I feel like it would be way too dry, I never trust myself with it, and I'd be afraid to share dry chicken to you guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Mine would be, this is Rhonda. Mine would be any type of mayonnaise salad, anything with mayonnaise in it, like tuna, chicken, potato salad. I'm not a big fan of mayonnaise, so it'll either be very, very dry or too much. I'm just not a mayonnaise type of gal.

SPEAKER_05 2:03

And mine, this is by C would be greens. I'm not a big lover of greens, so I've never perfected making them. So I wouldn't bring the greens.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

For me, D, it would be anything besides a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich because I, the self-proclaimed taste tester of the group and plate, paper plate bringer.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

That's so true. Every friendship has a beginning. Sometimes it starts with a simple moment or shared experience that grows into something much deeper over time. So our first question for the audience that I would like for us to answer is what brought this group together in the beginning? What brought us together in the beginning? Does anyone remember?

SPEAKER_04 2:48

Well, I'll start. And this is Stephanie. And I remember it being Teresa being the one who would gather us all at your house for game nights and dinners and cookouts. I remember cookouts out on the deck. And I think the commonality that really just weaved all of us together was obviously we attended the same church, but our faith in Christ and just our relationship and desire to grow in Him and to grow together.

SPEAKER_05 3:18

And I would say intentionality brought us together. We were very intentional in the beginning of coming together and also a need to be long as we were all becoming. We were all in different stages of our life, but I think we had a we all had a need to be long. So I think intentionality and a need to be long brought us together.

SPEAKER_02 3:42

And so for me, I remember we kind of started as almost like a book club. Um because our first time we got together, we read a book whose name, whose title I do not remember. I think it was just enough light for the steps. It was, yes. Um I'm not getting paid for an endorsement. The truth is I never read the book, but the title was ministered to me and continues to minister to me. So we came together for a book club. I think Shanina was not there the first time we got together and then came in that September when we had our first official gathering. Anyone else?

SPEAKER_00 4:19

No, I'm like Stephanie. This is Rhonda. I'm like Stephanie. I remember it was all it was something that Teresa, you you initiated to bring us together. It was a book. And it evolved into I don't even want to say evolved, it blossomed into this.

SPEAKER_02 4:39

And do you remember what do you remember most about the early days? Like what do you remember most about the early days?

SPEAKER_00 4:44

Time, food, and trips. And now time, food, and trips. I mean, we had to commit to one another, commit to the time to say that we were going to meet up because we met often. Each time we met, there was food, right? And we had, I think we had a lot of trips. We went a lot of places days. If we could gather all the pictures that we took, you know, whether it was downtown, taking advantage of the Betsy Ross house and Maryland. Is that Maryland we went to? We all had massages and yes, yes, yes. So we had a lot of trips. I don't think I made that one.

SPEAKER_06 5:30

We were there. Oh praise the Lord.

SPEAKER_03 5:34

Oh okay, yes, and yes. What I remember mostly is our monthly meetups. We were very intentional of our time in the early years. Also, we spent many, many hours and days at Teresa's house. Slumber parties, food fests. I call her house the host house. Okay, it was very, very natural for us to just go there and just chill for long periods of time.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

Yeah, I always said that I had the Kool-Aid house for young adults because we were all young adults at that point in time. I mean, some of us are still young adults. So yeah, it was a fun time that it was wonderful to have a place where we all could gather. Life was very different for us. We were all single, only one person had a child at that point in time. And so gathering was a lot easier in those moments. But one thing that hearing repeated over and over again is intentionality, that we we had these events called star events. Hopefully, everybody remember our star events. And they would not happen unless everyone could show up. So we would cancel a star event because it was that important that everyone be present for those types of events. And looking back now, did you ever imagine that 25 years later we would still be going strong?

SPEAKER_05 6:52

Yeah, I can imagine it because you're my sister, so sisters don't go anywhere. And also, Rhonda gave us a picture many years ago. I'm just envisioning us growing old together, sitting on a rocking chair, on a wraparound porch. So it was always before me. 25 years later and more.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

So why did you say, like, why did you show up time after time, moment after moment, day after day?

SPEAKER_04 7:47

This is Stephanie. And for me, I when I look back, and I can't really say if in that time I knew that or was aware of that, but when I look back, there was a longing that I had, a sense of not necessarily emptiness, but knowing that I needed to be connected. I, you know, we all have, you know, our family, our biological families, but oftentimes, you know, you kind of get pigeonholed into roles with your family because you have past experiences. But for you ladies, it was an opportunity for me to show up in who I was at that moment and trust that I could have the grace to evolve and and not be, you know, limited or put in a box. So for me, it was the desire and the the need, the emptiness.

SPEAKER_03 8:32

Yeah, for me as well, it was the need. But why wouldn't I stay? We were doing group therapy, team building exercises, you know, making our time a priority. All of you know that I'm the only child, so you all were and are my sisters. So again, this is you have me, like you're stuck with me. There was there was no reason for me to leave, you know. So, yeah, we made it hard.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

Made it very, very hard. And I think for me, I remember this is Teresa being at my dining room table, and by sea was there because I've known her since she was 15, 16. I think she was maybe 18, 19 at that time. And there were a lot of men going in and out of my house because I really didn't have a lot of female friends. My background, I was in a very male-dominated field. I went to a high school that was designed really for fields that men were in. And Bicea sat at the table and she said, Don't you know any women? Like, how does this work with all these men in your life? And so that was a big challenge for me. I was very good at creating a space where people could gather, both men and women, but not necessarily engaging women and forming very, very close relationships with them. My oldest friends are all men. And so for me, I think there was this need to connect with women. And in that moment, I didn't realize it. But over time, you know, I I've realized how important it was to sit across and build strong bonds with people who genetically look like you from a from a from a you know chromosomal standpoint. And so, and like Shanina said, you know, I feel like when you know Jesus asked the disciples, were they gonna leave them too? Like, where am I gonna go at this point? Like, where am I gonna go? Plus, you know too much about me. You know too much about me.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

So the question, if I'm probably remembering correctly, Therese, is why do you think our connection will made it special? No, why did you stay? I stayed personally because I'm a loyal person and I saw the commitment, each and every one of you. I saw commitment, and my personality is loyalty. So if you're committed, then I'm lawyer. So that's how it just even it just evened out for me that way. And as time grew, and as I said earlier, it blossomed into something and evolved into this this sisterhood that I could have never imagined. No, I'm not an only child, but I grew up as one. So having sisters, having female sisters, like well, sisters, I'm finding is very special. You ladies are very special.

SPEAKER_02 11:37

And that is, what do you think make made our connection special from the very, very beginning? I know that at the center of all of this is that we had Jesus Christ, we all went to the same church, but it felt really good, like it felt it felt organic from the from the very beginning. So if so, what else do you think made it so special from the beginning?

SPEAKER_05 12:01

Well, I think our willingness to create something that was separate and closed, because it wasn't as if you can come and go, it was just a closed group. But at the same time, even though it was separate and closed, we also were very we embraced others individually. And even as a group, sometimes we would have events where we would invite other people. But I think the special thing that we were willing to risk being called a clique and risk those other things uh to develop the relationship that we have today.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

Very, very good, very acquainted, I see like you said, it was a closed group. And I think we all experienced once word got out about our group, individuals would come to me and say, What's this I hear about this this group? What y'all ladies accord? Tell me about it. Can I be a part of it? Can I come? And I would say so boldly with a big smile, sorry, yeah, but you can come to an event, but it was closed, and that was great for me.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

So Rhonda just mentioned the name Ladies Accord. So let me give you a point of reference for that. So as we were being committed and made a decision that this was something that we were going to do on a regular basis, we thought we wanted something to kind of focus us in. And we came up with the name Ladies Accord based on the scripture that says that a three-chord rope is not equal easily broken. And I think that that's important. Not every group needs to have like a mantra or a guiding scripture, but for us, it always served as a reminder that one, we were committed, two, that we were centered in Christ, and and three, that what we had established would not easily be broken.

SPEAKER_05 13:58

Now remember in the beginning, my some other friends of mine they would affectionately call us the Queens. What's the Queens got going on now? What's the Queens doing? And they didn't necessarily feel like they were being left out, it's just that it was just something that they knew was separate from our regular friendship groups.

SPEAKER_03 14:15

You know, it's funny, I never had anyone ask about our group. Maybe because I was really protective of the group, or it could be that most of us had the same friends, so they just talked about it with you know one of you. But it's interesting, like you know, my parents knew about it, but I would say, you know, my sisters, you know, and you know, just just reflecting on how precious each and every one of you are. You know, I should have shared more. You know, my husband knows, you know, I'm this my sisters, you know, especially at the wedding. I said, Oh, they're having a special seat, you know. So yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:56

I for me, I think that in the beginning we were individually willing to be vulnerable and to be exposed. And with that, as you at least for me, as I build my trust with each individual, it helped me feel more committed to the collective.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

And I think that, you know, when I think back to the beginning and look at where we are today, right? Like I can't imagine the amount of growth that we have experienced. Like if I look at that first meeting, that first gathering. But now, in hindsight, it was that dedication to showing up and spending time. I think was either Shanina or Bisea talked about, like we've been in therapy sessions. Like we were very fortunate to have a family, a marriage therapist do a session for us. We've had interventions, we've done Jihari's window, which gives you insight to what you believe is true about yourself and how other people see you. You know, we and that all required vulnerability. So I think the one thing that we saw from the very beginning was being vulnerable. And Barcia mentioned the word click, and I think the importance of that word, like we see that as a negative thing, but to build what we have, it is hard to invite other people in because what we did was we created a safe space for transparency, you know. And so one thing that has come up because it's been 25 years, is you know, every once in a while we think about can we bring someone else in? Can we bring someone else? Rhonda, I see you shaking your head. Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_05 16:31

And I think this is a compromise because we're inviting you all in in a safe space that each person can feel comfortable.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Yeah, it is it is hard. We've had this conversation over the years. Like, how how do you do that? And I think that when it's been this long, it is very difficult to bring someone in that you don't know, but it doesn't mean that we don't develop relationships even as a group with other people and do things with other people. It's just difficult to have the same level of transparency that we currently have.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

My question, why for the the whole group? Why did we have those discussions of having people within the group? Did people feel pressured to when they talk to individuals about our group, you know, to come in? Like what why did we always have those conversations?

SPEAKER_05 17:22

I don't think we always had them, but the times that we did have them, I think maybe because we had a person may have left, maybe like Jesus wanted to replace that other disciple, or maybe because we wanted to add some more variety to the group. So that's my take on it.

SPEAKER_03 17:42

And when I say all, I like consistently, it was like every few years we had a conversation.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

Yeah, I think that what we had was so special that why not share? So I think that what we because the love and attention that we put to LA, for me, I just thought that it was so beautiful that why wouldn't we want to expand or share with other people?

SPEAKER_05 18:05

Oh, and also people asked to be a part of it, like Rhonda said. So it was like, oh, well, let me see if we can have open enrollment or something.

SPEAKER_03 18:14

I think we also did mention having two people join together. So we we did talk about having two people join together so that way they can, you know, connect on their level as well. Because we didn't want people, if we did say yes, to feel intimidated. It can be new together, yes, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:35

And I think too, one of the words that I was thinking um when Rhonda had mentioned the word loyal, I was thinking also that it was such a risk for you know each individual to yield themselves and their story to to trust that each person would keep it sacred and um hold it close. And so I think, you know, to bring people in later required what would have required a catch up, if you will, and kind of like a pause in that, okay, we have to allow that person to catch up to where we are emotionally in our connection to one another. So I think it would just would have required a lot more emotional work, if you will.

SPEAKER_02 19:16

Yeah, I I I do agree with that, that because we had made such a strong connection. And, you know, it's easy now. Like I can pick up the phone and just call any one of you ladies and just tell you my truth, right? Like I don't hesitate with it, I don't struggle in that. But if there's another person, I gotta figure out like, can I trust you with this, right? Like, am I gonna get the reciprocity that I need to feel safe with you? And I think that was something that made this bond very strong as well, is that we were all laying stuff out on the table. You know, people weren't holding back, and as a result, it's like, okay, we go down, we all going down together.

SPEAKER_05 19:52

Well, not everybody was at the same level, not at the same time but even that we we worked through that as well. We we confronted, you know, and all those things so that you know everybody can have some buy-in, some skin in the game.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Yeah, I agree. You're right about that, that it did take some people a little bit longer to feel that they could be transparent. And that made me think about because you know we're reading something, something's always coming across by eye gate. And so one of the things I saw in a pew study, I don't know why I read it, but I did, that said, a hallmark of a good friend is someone who will always tell you the truth and give you an honest answer. And so I bring that up because one of the things Bicea just said is basically we called some, we we called people to the carpet and said, Hey, listen, I gave you my stuff. I want some of yours too. You know, like we've created this environment. And so now it's up to you to participate in it, but we weren't gonna let you get away with not participating in it.

SPEAKER_04 20:48

And I think too, with that, it wasn't a voyeuristic, right? Oh, I need to see. It was I know that you need to be able to give that. Like this space is here for all of us to feel safe and to feel connected and protected. And so if you're not giving it to me, then I know that you're not reaping the benefit of being protected and feeling a part of. You're feeling you, you're you're isolating yourself, but you may not even recognize it. So there were times, I know I think it was the Jihari window where we, you know, really challenged individuals to say, hey, are you even aware of what you're doing? Because you're missing out on you know, reaping the benefit of risking it all and and and being safe and being caught, if you will.

SPEAKER_05 21:34

I like what Debika said about, I like what D said about it's being so good and wanting to share it. But on the flip side of that is even though I was a proponent of inviting someone in, but I I recognize that someone could come in and mess everything up, you know. So, you know, maybe, you know, Rhonda did have a point.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Yeah, I have to admit. I was not a fan of inviting anyone in the group and just sharing with an audience. And I think I've shared this in the past. I I have trust issues. And trusting these five ladies was a challenge for me. And so I had already started building. And to have someone come in, I would have had to start all over again. And that's a lot of work for me. And I shouldn't forget I wasn't, I didn't want to put in the work. I didn't want to.

SPEAKER_03 22:35

I think only once you one time you did say yes. And we were like, what? And then it wasn't one time.

SPEAKER_04 22:44

I believe Ron and I both said yes at the same time. Because we both were the no, no. And then we couldn't figure out how we how we gonna get the people. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 22:54

But by that time, I was a no. I was like, I remember that clearly. Don't want to do this change. We're we're good. But what's interesting is that we have seen other groups form. You know, there was a person who was a part of our sister, and she's still our sister, she's just not a part of this core group who has gone on and formed, you know, strong sisterhood with some people that she aligned with more, you know, in a better way. And we and we are seeing these things pop up. We see it in our own church, and they're not cliques. I hate that term clicks, but I think that it is just hard to form intimate relationships with 40 people. You know, it is it is it is difficult with six. Six is absolutely is very difficult and requires a lot of work, but you know, you can form these relationships with two or three or four individuals. I think the other thing too that early on when I think back is, you know, we've and we've heard this in in in previous episodes that the lack of flexibility, we had a lot of things in common as different as we were, right? Like as different as we were, we had a lot of things in common. And as many things as we had in common, we were extremely diff different. And so that speaks to how much dedication we all had, because if we said in previous episodes about being not being flexible, and yet we all were committed for 25 years, it said something about commitment for us, and that this was so special from the very beginning. And like what I like to always say is that God chose us at the end of the day, that He chose us and brought us together and allowed us to sustain this for 25 years as well.

SPEAKER_05 24:36

I think something unique about the group is that it's not as if we have a leader, like we don't have a leader, and some some people may not fit well with the group, having that not being in place or maybe not being the leader. So that's something unique about the group, and also that we usually do things by majority, so that kind of makes things uh easier in a way, like everybody can get on one accord about oh, about adding someone, we needed to have that unanimous, and that never happened. So it kind of makes things easy with the way like it's ran, you know.

SPEAKER_03 25:11

Yeah, well, I do think that we did work it out with the communication as far as the star events. So if we couldn't get six people, then we did the star events, but only two people got the plan that you did whatever we wanted to, you know. So that helps us, you know, as far as communication, because like to your point, you know, it six is a lot, you know. Our production teams know, right?

SPEAKER_02 25:37

Yes, they do, definitely. And so what Shanina um mentioned is these star events. So we had events on the calendar four times a year. We did other things where everyone had to show up, and we broke up into partners to plan the event. And basically, what we agreed to is they get to plan the event and we don't get to have any say, we get to show up, and because of that commitment, you know, we've had a lot of variety. You never knew what you were going to get, but we went whether we wanted to or not. We showed up and we had a great time. And that's that's relationship. That's relationship and that's commitment. All right. So thank you, ladies. I think this was a really good conversation about how we started and the benefits that we have reaped over the last 25 years. I know for me, I've been so tremendously blessed by my relationship with each and every one of you, my sisterhood, you know, you are my family. And so for the audience, you know, we want to always leave you with a reflection question. And that question for you is when you think about your closest friendships, how did they begin? And what has it taken for them to be sustained? So, again, when you think about your closest friendships, how did they begin? And what has it taken for them to be sustained? So at this time, I am going to have Stephanie close us out in prayer.

SPEAKER_04 27:17

Thank you, Father. We bless you and we honor you. We thank you, Lord, for yet another day that you have made. You are truly wonderful and merciful and kind, and we just honor you, King. Lord, we ask that this time would have touched the hearts and the minds of the listeners, God, that they would risk it all, oh God, trusting in you to catch them, to provide for them, to protect them, and most importantly, Lord, to lead them, God, to the individuals that you have ordained to be in their lives, that the relationships, oh King, would bring you glory and be edifying, oh God, to those who they touch. We bless you and we honor you in Jesus' name. We pray, amen.

SPEAKER_06 28:00

Amen.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

Thanks for listening to Six Voices, One Story. If you'd like to continue this journey with us, subscribe and walk with us for the next conversations. Join us next time for episode five.