Comfort Is My Fashion

Someone wrote in to ask if she’s lost her mind — or finally found herself. She lives in stretchy pants, slip-on shoes, and an oversized top, and she has never been happier. Her family thinks she’s given up. Her friends give her a hard time about it. But she thinks she’s arrived somewhere. This week Anita answers the question nobody wants to say out loud: is dressing for comfort a defeat — or is it the most honest thing you can do for yourself?
Have a question you want Anita to answer? Submit it at subscribepage.io/SXO5bo — your name is always protected.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Ask Anita. I'm Anita. Let's get into it. The questions on this show come from real people in real situations, friends, family, community members, and listeners who submit through the link in the show notes. It doesn't matter how they reach me, the names are always protected. The questions are always real. If something has been sitting on your mind, that link is in the show notes. Today's question comes from someone I'm calling Comfort is My Fashion. And I want you to know I felt that name. The question is, Anita, somewhere along the way, I stopped caring about fashion and started caring about comfort. And honestly, I have never been happier. I live in stretchy pants, oversized tops, and slip-on shoes. I don't own anything that pinches, pulls, or requires more than 30 seconds to put on. My friends give me a hard time about it. My family thinks I've given up, but I feel like I've actually arrived somewhere. Like I finally stopped dressing for other people and started dressing for me. Is something wrong with me, or have I just figured out something that the rest of them haven't caught on to yet? Well, comfort is my fashion? No, you are not wrong. You're just ahead of schedule. Because here's what I want to say to everyone who told you that you've given up. Given up what exactly? Discomfort? Inconvenience? Spending 20 minutes trying to button pants that were clearly designed by someone who's never eaten a full meal? I'm gonna need someone to explain to me what we are supposed to be gaining from that. I will tell you something. I discovered stretchy jeans, and I am never going back. Never. I have been through seasons of life, changes in my body, good days, hard days, days where I needed something to just cooperate with me without putting up a fight, and those jeans showed up every single time. Button-up pants had one job and they could not handle the assignment. Stretchy jeans, they're loyal, dependable, forgiving. Honestly, 90% of the time I'm not even in jeans. I work from home, I do my podcast, I do live streams on social media. You know what I'm wearing for most of that? A sweatsuit and my Uggs. And I'm not ashamed of that for one single second. Now, if I have a meeting or I'm going live, I will put a bra and a real shirt on. I'm not an animal, but the sweatpants and the uggs, they're staying. Nobody from the waist down needs to suffer just because the camera's on. Now let's talk about the shoes because slip-ons get a bad reputation they don't deserve. People act like wearing shoes without laces is some kind of defeat. It's not a defeat. It's a decision. I'm 58 years old. I can put my foot up to my face. I'm flexible. I'm not slowing down. I just decided that tying my shoes is a use of my time and energy that I'm no longer willing to invest in. I have things to do, places to be, slip-ons, or how I get there faster. Here's what I want you to think about. For how many years did you wear things that you were uncomfortable in because you were worried about what someone else might think? How many mornings did you stand in front of a closet performing for an audience that wasn't even there yet? We do this. Women do this. We have been taught that looking a certain way is part of what we owe the world just for showing up in it. And at some point, I and I think you hit that point, you just stopped paying the bill because nobody sent you an invoice. You were charging yourself. You said something in your question that I don't want to gloss over. You said it feels like you're arriving somewhere. I think that is exactly right. This is not giving up. This is the other side of a long journey toward not needing anyone's approval to feel okay about yourself. Some women never get there. Some women spend their whole lives in uncomfortable shoes trying to look like someone's idea of put together. You figured out that put together is whatever you say it is. That is not nothing. That is actually everything. So to the friends giving you a hard time and the family who thinks you've given up, bless their hearts. They're still in the button-up pants phase. They'll get here eventually, or they won't. Either way, it's not your problem to solve. Comfort is my fashion. You ask if you were wrong, here is your answer. You are so far from wrong that wrong can't even see where you where it is from your where you're standing. Keep the stretchy pants, keep the slip-ons. And the next time someone gives you a look, just smile because you know something they haven't figured out yet. Comfortable is not a compromise, it's a choice, and it looks good on you. And remember, be honest, be kind, and when you look in that mirror tonight, make sure you like who's looking back at you. I'll see you Tuesday.