SPEAKER_03 0:09

The Coaching for Life podcast with Monty Williams and Will Davis.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

Welcome back to the Coaching for Life podcast with Monty Williams and Will Davis, a conversation that we pray encourages you to pursue the Christ Center Life. And today we are excited to have our very first guest on the pod, Mr. Dustin Vaughn. Dustin, how are you?

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Good, good. Thank you for having me. I'm excited.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

Well, thank you for joining us. Kara and I were first blessed to meet you and your wife Courtney, I think about 12 years ago. And this was before you all had kids. We first met in Dallas through some mutual friends, the Merrick's, a great family. But now in the last year, it's been so sweet to reconnect with you all and and your family and to worship together on Sunday mornings. Sometimes when we meet as as guys, you know, we can fall into that trap of asking, what do you do? You know, what do you do for a living? Instead of you know getting to know who they are. And when I think about you, Dustin, I think follower of Christ, devoted husband, loving father, good friend. And for the sake of our conversation today on identity, we also want to give the listeners some background on your career in athletics. You attended Cal Allen High School in Corpus Christi, Texas, and then went on to play quarterback at West Texas AM in Canyon, Texas. And then you were drafted by the NFL in 2014, and you had the opportunity to play for some of the most historic NFL franchises: the Dallas Cowboys, the Buffalo Bills, the Pittsburgh Steelers, the Baltimore Ravens. And so as we get into this conversation today on identity, when you think back to some of the younger years, your childhood, your adolescence, how did sports shape your identity, your dreams for the future? And then when did you have that sense that playing football professionally could be a reality for you?

SPEAKER_02 2:21

Good question. I would say for the most of my life, it always felt like a dream. It never really felt like a reality. I remember just growing up and I played multiple sports for as long as I can remember. Loved sports. And I I remember playing uh basketball and baseball really young. Um I didn't start playing football until you know middle school, um, seventh grade. Um but I just loved it. Um I loved everything about it. Um and so I I I couldn't I I definitely couldn't say that professional ball in any capacity, but especially professional football, was a reality until uh maybe junior year in college. Um and you know, I had I'd grown up again playing football from middle school um on, but I had kind of switched back and forth playing different positions, right? I didn't really know within within football, I didn't really have an identity. Just kind of just let me play. I just want to play. Um But uh when I started playing quarterback later in high school, I'm like, I really, I really like this position. Um and I was pretty good at it. Uh we didn't throw the ball a whole lot in high school. Um three yards and a cloud of dust was our motto um in high school. But um then I went to a a college, Wessex AM, where we threw the ball 60 times a game. Um and so I still to this day joke like, how in the world did the coaches even think about me ending up and being successful in their in their offense? And really like God, God had that all planned out. Um But just I I redshirted and then started uh my my redshirt sophomore year and then just progressively got better and better through junior and then senior year. Um but it was it was becoming something that was less of a dream and more of a reality later on in college. Um and uh yeah, that's really that's really kind of the story of how it progressed. Um but it's kind of fun to think back like football was was not necessarily the sport that I was drawn to earlier, like earliest in my life, grew up watching it and all that kind of stuff. But as far as playing it, I really found um my my sport, my position, and and my performance, they kind of matched and and you know, melded together at the right time later in college.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Do you think that took some of the pressure off because you were late to the to the sport in terms of people that you're playing with in college and even as pros, you know, maybe they were quarterbacks since they were, you know, seven and eight years old, you know. And but do you feel like that took some of the pressure off of you when you did sense that, okay, this could be a reality?

SPEAKER_02 5:45

Um it I think immediately it did, um, because I didn't even know what my own expectations were. Um because my expectations weren't I'm gonna be in the NFL. That was not my my that was a dream, but that wasn't my expectation. Um I you know, my expectation was like go out, lead the team and win a championship. You know, that was that was kind of where it it stopped. Um but then you know I I think um it was uh less of a pressure situation um because of those lower expectations. But as those expectations grew, and what we'll probably talk about more, is that coming from Division II and being successful in Division II and playing with a lot of freedom, um that changed uh pretty dramatically going into the NFL. Because then you're surrounded by guys that played at you know the in the SEC, played at the Alabamas of the world, and and these guys, you know, are a joke. You you come in, we were at Valley Ranch with the Dallas Cowboys still, and you come in and there's guys that are coming from AM and Alabama, and they're like, is this really is this really professional? Like like the like it was a it was a dramatic step up for me. For them, it was like almost a step down. Um not anymore, right? With the star, but it was it was just sort of a funny, and so I just knew I was in a different a different world.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Yeah, yeah. You know, it's it's interesting because you made it. You know, no matter how you slice it and where you came from, you made it. And once you make it, like, what is that like? That moment, that uh maybe that day, that week, where it all hits you like, oh snap, I made it. And then, and in my next two-part question, what were what was that pressure like once it settled in for you? And then what would your wife Courtney say that pressure was like? Because I know when I finally got there, um there was a pressure that I felt, and I didn't express it, but I knew it. But I think at that time, my wife Ingrid, who's with the Lord now, I bet she probably saw a different pressure. Her pr her idea of what I saw or what I was dealing with was probably different than what I could express. Yeah, and so I wonder, like, if you may not even be able to answer that one. We may need Courtney here to answer. And she could probably like say, Well, yeah, that's what he thinks, but I know what I saw, you know what I'm saying? So, like, yeah, you made it. What was it like to make it? And then the pressures that came with it from your perspective and your wife or someone important to you that was around you that could probably see something that was like, Man, he's he's dealing with something right now. Like, what was that like?

SPEAKER_02 9:13

It's funny because I'll start, I'll start with that reaction from my wife. She actually, before when I got invited to come on this podcast, she's like, I'm so thankful that you have some guys to talk with about this. Like basically, you've needed you've needed to do this for a long time. Um and so they're there I can 100% say with with confidence that uh it does it it puts a tremendous amount of pressure on you. And I was like you, I didn't I didn't talk about it. And I haven't talked about it much in general. Um But to go to your first um your first question, when you when you make it, um, and I would say make it, you know, in the in the world's eyes as far as making it. That's true. Yeah. Um it's a it's really interesting when your dream becomes a reality. Uh it's a surreal experience. Um I actually remember uh when I got the call um and when I was uh you know going to be with the cowboys, um there was a I was at my my parents' house um at the time, so it was back in my hometown. Um there was going to be a high school baseball game that that day or that night. Um and so you know after that all took place, I I remember going to the high school baseball game, and it was the first experience that I had with the with the notoriety, with the pride, with the fame. People knew. People knew and they knew immediately. And not only that, it was coupled with being on the Cowboys. Right. And so that that made it a level above. And so there was, you know, there was uh uh people there, TV local TV stations, they wanted to interview. And so it almost took almost felt like it was taking away from the actual event that I went to go attend. Right. Um, which which again was that surreal experience. And and quite frankly, there is a part of you that he that likes it. Um a lot of you likes it at first. Uh you know, it it's it's intoxicating. It's it's you're like, I did, I did make it, you know, and and people notice. Um and so now this this status um in your head, you start thinking about, oh, like people, people really know who I am.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

Um can can I interject real quick? That that was my gross uh mistake. I made it. I never thought about intentionally that God gave me this. And I don't know if it was like that for you in that moment, but I can remember like you just saying that. I remember like how arrogantly I kind of processed it. Even with the celebration and all it was almost like Look at me. Yeah, and it seems like we parallel in that way. It was like uh, you know, I made it type thing.

SPEAKER_02 12:48

Yeah, I there is a gr there is a grossness there for sure. Um and I think what what sort of escalated the the uh I don't say downfall, but what escalated the you know, I it was intoxicating, but that you only live with that for such a short amount of time, and then you actually go there, like you're actually in it, and you're like, oh my gosh, this is this is way different than what I was thinking it would be. Um and so you're humble, you're humble uh really quick, and and I remember my biggest struggle was uh how my job was perceived versus how my job really was, or what my feeling was. Um and so I I I remember vividly driving up to Valley Ranch uh every morning um with a pit in my stomach. Yeah, and it and again, I nothing really changed. I was I was still there, like I I quote unquote made it. Right. Um, but there was a change, and I think that if I would have entered in with more of a gratitude to to to God for for providing me with that opportunity of uh something that was seemed so far out of reach now as a reality, like I think would have handled it better. But I think I was so wrapped up in in being um in that intoxicating feeling of like notoriety and pride and stuff like that, that the fall was was was more difficult. Fall was was harder. And so then I got wrapped up you know in my own performance. And then it was like every time I go to Valley Ranch, every time I throw a football, every time I make an audible, every time I make a decision, like this could be my last, this could be my last one here. And um and that that the cutthroat nature of of the NFL and pro sports is no joke. It is no joke. Talk about this the Grim Reaper coming through and cutting people. That's a that is real. Um come through and they ask you for your playbook and you're gone. And so uh my first year, I was sitting at my locker and the quote unquote Grim Reaper came, pulled the guy sitting next to me, both guys sitting right next to me. I was sitting there going, Oh my. And I'm like, is am I next? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

Um We go from musical chairs to that. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's like as a kid, you play games when you get to the league, when you get to the firm, when you get to the place, it doesn't have to be sports. Those realities set in, and it's like shocking. Yeah, the first time you see someone get cut, it's almost like did that just happen? You know? And and it creates a level for me, it was like this level of like cynicism about what I dreamed about. And it and I allowed it to take away from what it it started out to be when I played Little League. You know, when I played Little League, we we were just like, hey, the joy the joy, you know, coach would get on you, you're like, okay, coach knows my name. And then you get have a moment like that, and you're like, wow, this thing is this is different.

SPEAKER_02 16:32

Yeah. Yeah. It's uh it's very um it's like i at that point it was like I I have to I have to make a choice, right? Am I going to pursue and kind of give all of myself over to this intoxicating feeling of pride and notoriety and fame and um or am I going to be uh am I gonna enter in with gratitude and and thankfulness and humility? Um and what does that look like? Because uh again, you know, I had I had coaches telling me like you you aren't gonna make it if you if you aren't eating, sleeping, and breathing football. And I'm like, well, you know, I've I've read the Bible a few times and I don't think it ever says anything about eating, breathing, sleeping football. Like it I don't know if God, you know, uh cares about a Super Bowl all that much. Right um, but the people around the world sure does.

SPEAKER_04 17:40

Right.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Um and then, you know, so it's like uh how do I follow this dream while still being true to to what God's called me to be? Yeah. Um that was that was the the overarching like decision and and choice that I needed to make.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

So you're from Texas, you get drafted by not only the most popular team in Texas, but America's team, the Cowboys, and then still trying to figure out how they became America's team.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

I don't know. It just always hil- I mean, I I grew up a Cowboys fan just because I grew up in the DC area, and so I did it out of spite to like aggravate my family. They're all back then it was Redskins. So I became a Cowboy fan, but I would hear that and I'm like, how does that how'd they become America's team? But that's a bit of a digression. We we do that from time to time. It's usually me. That's all right, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

So from going to what you knew, Texas and and and Dallas to then Buffalo, what was that experience like?

SPEAKER_02 18:56

Uh so uh we often in in between me and court would call this my spiritual time out. Um and it was uh again, there's this choice, right, of needing to approach this opportunity with you know uh gratitude, humility, or I'm gonna, you know, become so consumed with my performance and um and and be consumed by uh pride and consumed by uh the notoriety. I wish I wish I could say I chose um the former. Like I wish I could have I could say I was like, man, you know, from that point forward, I was just like, you know, this is I'm gonna just go strong at this for um It's gonna be different. It's gonna be different. And it was not. Um and I I would say that the pressures even continued um with Dallas. And so I I ended up getting cut um after um the the second preseason. So um I I went through in the first year, 2014 on the roster. Um and then second year went through all offseason and stuff like that, and um went through all of preseason. Actually, won our first preseason game in two years. And I played the whole game on it. Four preseason games. Um, and you typically you kind of lead up to the third game where the starters play the most, and then they don't play like anything at all in the fourth. Well, um, this was the fourth game of my second year, um, fourth preseason game. End up uh playing the whole game in one. Wow, um, which is great. That's exciting. Dude, I'm I'm pumped. I'm feeling like I got I just got myself a second year locked in, and then it end up getting cut. Yeah. Um and that was uh uh just the reality again, setting in of the cutthroat nature. And and then you go from being on the roster to not having a job, um, and you start trying out for teams and stuff like that. Well, um, I'm I'm I am so thankful for the opportunity to go and play uh and and be at Buffalo. I was there for a really short stint. I was in the practice squad. Um, we call it spiritual time out, not because the the opportunity to go play for Buffalo was any less than than Dallas. Um, but it was just like when you think about proximity, I was like at home. Right. And then God just said, You're going to the opposite, you're going as close to Canada as you possibly can. And you're gonna be there. And you're gonna be there without your wife, yeah. Um, and without that support system that's readily available. Um, and so that was that was rough. Um That was really rough. Felt lonely, felt like I was kind of on my own. Uh and so I had I had thoughts of like I'm just gonna I this isn't worth it. Yeah. Um this feeling every day. I'm I'm staying in an extended stay hotel. I'm renting this this car that I don't fit in, you know, and I'm I'm showing up. And I really don't and I was like, I there was a place for me with Dallas at the position of quarterback. I didn't see myself in Buffalo. Like I couldn't see myself as a different style player than what they were looking for. So it just seemed like it was it was just I was just there. Yeah, and out of fit. And so my wife and her wisdom, um, she knew where I was and what place I was in. She she called my dad and said, I think your son needs you to go to Buffalo. And that was in I will say that was one of the most memorable times because I did. I needed a a father um just to come and and be encouragement. I didn't he didn't come and go, This is why you need to stay in the NFL. It's like he was more just as support, and you know, we we went and um enjoyed some some good buffalo wings. Um and we just kind of hung out and talked about what I've been dealing with. Um and I think that that alone, that encouragement, propelled me to continue.

SPEAKER_04 23:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:37

Um and I think things got a little a little bit better from my mindset um from that point forward as to what I was there to do um in the NFL. Uh, but my opportunities didn't get any better. I I wish I could say you know, went from there to then I you know went to the Steelers and and then I you know had this amazing career because it it didn't work that way. Yeah. Um But having that support system, having my dad come and and say, like, look, you're loved regardless of what you do. Yeah. Um not only loved by us, but you are eternally loved by God, regardless of what you do. And this should not define who you are. Trevor Burrus, Jr.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

Yeah, that's that's a pivotal moment. Monty and I often talk about not knowing where we would be if if not for our our wives, you know, the these these wise women that God has given to us. And so I love that story about your dad, you know, and how the Lord often provides these sh sheltering trees that that we can lean upon. And and then the other thing that I I think God often allows is you know, the trial and and the suffering and how he uses that to sanctify us and and and refine us. And I like uh Proverbs 24, 16, where Solomon writes, A righteous man falls seven times and rises again. So as you faced some of those uh disappointments, you know, and making a team and then and then getting cut, you know, each step of the way, uh, you know, did you find yourself starting to see that shift and okay, this is not what defines me, but it's it's Christ. It's it's God who defines me uh as a man.

SPEAKER_02 25:44

Uh yes, I think I think God I don't think, I know God puts you in positions um to be sanctified and to become more like his son. And I truly believe like my experience in the NFL didn't surprise God. I didn't he didn't go, I'm gonna put you in Dallas, and you know, I I expect that you're going to be really successful and you're going to, you know, I I wish, you know, in the back of my mind that that was God's plan for me, but I you know, I didn't surprise God by it not my story not being that way. Right. Um Yeah, he knew. He knew and and he knew the growth that would come from those experiences. And I think that's that's where uh I think where my mindset sort of shifted. Um, and again, not it was not an immediate change. It wasn't like a complete 180. But I think my mindset sh started shifting from like what does God want from me to gain this uh through this experience? Yes. Um, and how does He want me to grow? Yeah. Um But the problem is that when you have the world um and what their expectation is for you in the position that you're in, pulling at you, um your focus gets pulled in, well, what do I what do I want? Because if I if I really want to be successful, then I gotta be thinking about these things. But if I really want to be sanctified, then I gotta be thinking about these things. Yeah. Um and success sounds a whole lot better than you know going to Buffalo for you know a time and and not feeling and being alone and feeling out of place and and then you know not really finding another team again and going through those situations. But the growth on this side and the sanctification on this side is far deeper than through the success.

SPEAKER_01 27:58

Yeah. That's well said. You know, we talk about how important our our wives have been in in our spiritual lives, and even more than that, how important the Word of God has been. Yeah, and and Monty and I often talk about some of these key anger verses that that we can look back at these different milestones in our lives and these different pivot points and say, man, that really ministered to me. Have there been some anchor verses in your life that have really been meaningful to you as you've grown in your identity in Christ?

SPEAKER_02 28:40

Yeah, my um so this idea of humility uh was I really had to start thinking about what that what that really means. What does it mean to live a humble life? Um and uh I think for me, humility was always sort of a um if somebody compliments you, you just kind of push it off and go, no, no, no, I'm not, I'm not. You're you're giving me too much credit. Well, and I think there's a little bit, a little bit of that, but it's like where who's being glorified in that moment, right? And so I uh the when when I read Philippians 2, 1 through 11 as Christ's ultimate example of humility. Yeah, um, that has that's been really an anchor passage for me to remind me what true humility looks like. Um and and for Christ, it looked like giving up his godship uh for the sake of people who don't deserve it and to be humiliated and die on a cross. Um but uh he like at any point he could have said, I'm done with this. Yeah. Enough. Yeah. Um but he didn't. He endured, he persevered. And then the uh but the caveat to that is that he didn't give up his glory.

SPEAKER_04 30:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:14

Um he it actually says at the end, like, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. And so it was it was a putting putting off of his godship for the sake of the purpose that he was sent to do, um, that he was going to be glorified in eternity for. And I think uh that just having the example of Christ and being able to go, okay, every situation, what does it look like for me to put aside my my right or what I think I deserve for the sake of glorifying Christ. Yeah. Um and so that was that's been uh a key passage for me. Uh it's Ecclesiastes is also a book that I've really enjoyed. Um, and I actually read a book. It's called The Problem of Life with God um by Tommy Nelson. Yeah. I grew up listening to Tommy Nelson with my dad. Um but uh it it's it's funny because Ecclesiastes is kind of depressing. Um because you're just like all Solomon's put all of his efforts into all these things that should give him happiness, and they're futile. Yeah. Um the futility of of work, of wealth, of materialism, of pleasure, of life itself, like life is but a vapor. It comes and it goes. It's like, you know, what is what is life really? What's your purpose? Um, but I found great comfort in that because it was like, okay, um, what is what seems so important to me right now in the success of the NFL is no longer that important. Um you know, what what is important is me glorifying God and everything that I do and everything that I say, right? Um and so the uh the results that come from the NFL, whether good or bad, don't define me. Um, but my enjoyment and my relationship with Christ, that's what defines me. Yeah. Um and then you know, 1 Corinthians 10, 31 reminds us to do all things to the glory of God. Colossians mentions multiple times to work heartily for the Lord and not for men. Um so any anything that was like like John 3.30, um he must increase, but I must decrease. Like this idea of like Christ is elevated, and it's not a it's not a uh it's a combination. Like he has to elevate and I have to decrease at the same time. Like you can't elevate Christ while you also elevating yourself. Um and so any reminder of that was really uh key for me and kind of it gave me encouragement along the way.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

You know what's interesting because you talked about having coaches or a system tell you that you have to eat, breathe, sleep this particular vocation. And and and again, you made it, and and then you have these people say, Well, you have to live this, breathe it, and it became and we're talking about identity. When you hear something like that and you work for these people or you're playing for this particular coach or coaches, and they say that, um, it can affect your ident identity in Christ. And your identity just as a person, even if you didn't know God, it would affect you that way. I I know for me, when I got in the NBA, my identity was affected by people that I looked up to, and I almost fell into the trap, probably did more than I want to admit, of trying to be like them. And it was interesting how long it took me to figure it out what I was doing. And it was it was actually it wasn't even humbling. I was almost embarrassed when my wife or somebody called me up, not called me out, but called me up to tell me, like, bro, like, what are you doing? Like, that's not you. And without naming names, did you go through that? Um, and and when did you get to a place where you could say, you know what, I can learn from that person, but I can't be that person? Because I think I think more not just athletes, I think you probably dealt with it as a pastor. Like I it's it'd be so intoxicating to try to be like Chuck Swindle. You know, somebody that's so successful, major impact for the kingdom. I it commercials tell you to be like Mike, you know, when we were coming up. It's like, so you you think, okay, I I I can do that. And then you get to a place where you're like, that's not me. Yeah. No disrespect to any person or athlete that you and I, all of us have looked up to, but like, what was that like for you? Did you do that? And then when when did you get to a place where you were like, okay, I can learn from that person, but I can't be like them.

SPEAKER_02 35:45

Yeah, I definitely um we call this imposter syndrome. Um, but I definitely dealt with that. Um I had the privilege of being in some pretty amazing talented quarterback rooms um with some legendary uh quarterbacks, Super Bowl quarterbacks. Um and that is I didn't have anybody else to look to. That's right. And so I was like, you know, how do I want who else do I look towards to to decide how I'm going to be a successful quarterback in the NFL, other than other successful quarterbacks. That's right. Um and I and it's funny, why the way I practice, I remember this as a uh a little kid. My parents would say this probably drove them crazy. But I would watch baseball games, and baseball was like my sport growing up, and I would literally uh like impersonate every battering stance and batting stance and stuff. Like that. I remember doing that just because I'm such a visual, like you show me how to do it, and then I'll do it. I'll even teach myself how to do it the way that it works best for me, but I'm gonna take your example. Um and so, you know, in a more complex way, getting to the NFL, I'm like, well, how do I learn best rather than trying to be like um these other successful quarterbacks? And it's one thing to do that with your skill, but it's another thing to do that with your personality, your attitude, the the person that God's made you to be. Because He's made you that way for a specific purpose, He's given you security in your identity. Um that I th I think for me it was hard is like, okay, I can I can look at their skill and I could take really good information from what they do well as far as being quarterback. But when it comes to the person that I am, um, like I should I should be secure in who I am. Uh and yeah, that was that was extremely difficult. And I think what it did for me was it actually took confidence away from me because I, you know, having this feeling of like I've got to be like that guy, well, I'm not, and it feels wrong, it feels weird, I'm not that person. Um, and so therefore I become uh I I have a lack of confidence in then who God has made me to be. Um and and putting at that at the forefront. And so you just kind of like fall away and you just kind of start hiding, hiding in the bushes. Um, you know, being in class and hey, don't don't call on me. Yeah. Um rather than like, you know, hey, I'm gonna do it the best way that I know how. That's right.

unknown 39:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:12

Um and uh so my security and my identity with Christ, I kind of put by the wayside to try and be like these other people that had been successful because I thought I needed to be.

SPEAKER_00 39:28

It's amazing because we we talk about this a lot on this particular pod, why Bible study and early morning, if possible, um devotional time is so important because it allows for you to one surrender who you are to the Lord, and in that, one of the things that comes out of it for me is He shows me who I am and how He made me and what my purpose is. And I didn't have that. Um, I've shared this on the pod before. I used to watch my wife do that, but I was I was a Devo guy, which there's nothing wrong with Devos, but there was a deeper level that God wanted for me and this early morning time, um quiet time before everybody gets up. God has really helped me to reset my heart that way in terms of understanding who He's called me to be. And it's amazing how I had a mentor pastor back in the day in San Antonio, Rick Godwin. He would always say, if two of us are alike, one of us is not necessary. And the day he said that at church, I'm I'm like looking around to like, did anybody else hear that? You know? And then I realized like that was for you, dude. You know, and it really, as you talked about, it's a humbling moment. It's embarrassing, to be honest with you, when you realize you've wasted so much time trying to be like this particular person. And I really know that God uses those people to impact us. We can learn from them, but holding on to that purpose-call identity that God gave us is huge for our growth. And it's so cool of you to admit that. Most of us who play sports don't want to admit, like, yeah, I when I first got to the NBA, I wanted a house like my teammate, I wanted a car like, because that stuff is intoxicating. Like the first time you go to a team event and it could be at a player's home or something, you're like, oh snap. I gotta get my setup like that. And your wife is sitting there like, we can't afford that. You know? That's that's a a remarkable time, but it's also humbling.

SPEAKER_02 41:56

Well, you it's funny you say that because uh we had plenty of moments where like yeah, you when you make it to professional ball in whatever capacity, right? You you hear about the the people that are that are doing really well, right? Made a lot of money doing uh playing sports. Um but what's so funny is like when you get in to that level too, there's such a big discrepancy. Okay. Such a big discrepancy between the guy that is trying to make it versus the the the guy that has been playing for over a decade um that has gone through multiple contracts. It's and so uh to your point, Monty, like you not only do you want it, you f you feel like you need it. Yeah. There's this there's like this um if I'm going to be this, yeah, then it has to look that way. That's right. Um that poll. You know, people that people that people that don't have let's just say you know, there's a quarterback that goes and plays for over a decade and he you know wins you know multiple Super Bowls or whatever, goes to the Pro Bowl and is extremely successful. If they live in a really modest house, people think that he looks he's weird. Right. That's strange. Like modesty it it it is kind of seen as like a dude, I know I know how well you're you're doing. Like you're trying to like hide. Um, yeah. So it's like you do feel like there's not only just a want, but a need there, uh again, in imposter syndrome of like being a certain way, living a certain up to a certain status, hanging out with certain people. There is. It's extremely difficult.

SPEAKER_00 44:04

It's interesting. I remember playing against the Utah Jazz a ton back in the day, especially when I got here to San Antonio. We played them all the time. And typically how it works is in the NBA, we typically park the bus right next to the on the road, next to the parking lot where the players of the home team park. And so you see all the cars, all the whips, right? Right. And I remember vividly John Stockton coming out and getting in his minivan with his family. And he drove it and they went home. And you just vividly remember guys laughing. Right. Like there was something wrong with that. And you fall into it because he didn't have an S class. Yep. Yeah. Or he didn't have a range. And as I got older, I was like, man, I got so much respect for that guy. Absolutely. Because he was just, you could, I mean, I can remember him like he'd get in this his minivan, he'd buckle his kids into their car seats, and his kids were young, and he the door would slide, and you just see guys like looking down on that. And I'm like, this is John Stockton, bro. Like he's the guy, like Stockton and Malone. And so to your point, I was so immature that I fell onto the negative side of that. I I appreciated the guy who pulled up in his whatever. Yeah. And I should have, as God has matured me, us, I wish I would have had the mindset like, man, that guy's pretty secure in who he is. Yeah. You know, I don't know who what his faith is like. I have no idea. But I he's more true to himself than I am right now. And that's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:50

Yeah. I think I think that was the the well-set point, you know, being secure in who you are, knowing your identity, being confident, and this is who God created me to be. I'm not like a Chuck Swindl or a Tommy Nelson, you know, just be genuine to who you are. And I think about the example of Jesus when he was just 12 years old in Luke 2. He got separated from his parents, and he's left behind in Jerusalem. His parents are on the way home, and they realize that Jesus is no longer in their caravan, so they have to circle back and they find their son in the temple teaching, and they're relieved to find him, but they're also stressed out. And they ask Jesus, you know, why did you put us through all of this? You know, we were worried sick about you. And Jesus has that attitude of surprise a little bit like, you know, why were you worried? You know, didn't you know that I had to be about my father's business? And I think that really speaks to the heart of our identity as a child of God. You know, our identity is not wrapped up in sports or work, it's wrapped up, it should be wrapped up in doing our father's business, you know, worshiping him, serving him, pointing others to him, and living out the Christ-centered life. So as we close out, you know, Dustin, we just really appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. I really do, man.

SPEAKER_00 47:30

Like this is this is pretty stinking cool to hear someone like you um be vulnerable and talk about this kind of stuff. You know, it's I wish we had more time and maybe we, you know, that's a segue to get you to come back on here and share some more.

SPEAKER_02 47:49

I would love to. My wife would love for me to. Uh but I yeah, I've I enjoy it. I enjoy it because I gain uh I gain a lot from from this, not only just talking, but gaining wisdom. Yeah. Because I I would be lying to say, like, you know, I've learned all that I was supposed to learn, yeah, and God brought me to this point where I've perfected it. Yeah. I I still struggle with identity and the pressures of the world versus what who God wants me to be.

SPEAKER_01 48:24

So and I think about you just first meeting you, you were with the cowboys. That may seem like a another lifetime ago, and and now you're a father of three. And so when you think about your three amazing kids, you know what do you want to pass along to them when they look to you and and say, Dad, you know, how where do I find my true identity? You know, how can I find my purpose in life? You know, what are some of the things that that that you and Courtney want to pass along to them?

SPEAKER_02 49:01

Yeah, my um from an identity standpoint, it's from really early on, I I told Courtney, I was like, I want our kids to know that they're loved, yeah, they're loved by a uh an everlasting father, um, but then they're loved by you know temporal parents, but um like we would give all of ourselves for them and that we're proud of them. Yeah. No matter no matter what they do, um, and that their identity is not wrapped up and defined on what they do, um, but it's who they put their identity in. That's what the what really uh forms who you are. Um and so if they are if we can pass along the uh the eternal importance of the gospel, um, and they grow up and if they're adults and they come to us as old mom and dad, and they say, uh there was not a time I remember that we did not talk about Christ in our home. Um so and we knew that we were secure in the love of God and we were secure in the love of our parents, um everything else will fall uh into place. Um and and that we don't have to be perfect for that love either. Um there's not a performance aspect to the gospel. If anything, it's it's in spite of your your own performance. Um and and God sent his son to die on a cross in a humiliating way for you, um for me, uh, and that that that is enough of a of an act of love that should define our own identity.

SPEAKER_00 51:08

It's an interesting concept and and the way you said it so eloquently, I think, as believers, especially early on, whether you're in sports or some other vocation or um part of your life, I have to admit that I didn't trust the power of God in my life. I I probably trusted the system more than I trusted God. And and the verse that I hope is an encouragement to us and our listeners is uh Zechariah 4, 6. The Bible says, Then he said to me, This is the word of the Lord to serubbable, saying, Not by might nor by power, but by my spirit, says the Lord of armies. That's a verse that if we can grasp that concept of the power that God has, no matter where we are, what skill set we have, like he can do it. Whatever it is, and we'll have more contentment, joy, peace. Doesn't mean it's gonna be perfect all the time, and it's not always gonna be fun, but he will bring a purpose and level of joy in our lives where we are as we walk out that unique identity that we have in him. But it's gonna happen because of his spirit. It's not gonna happen because I'm at this level, or I'm I'm gonna do it the way this player did it, or I'm gonna dive into this system. All those things are okay as long as they're in perspective. Yes. And it's like the perspective has to be God first. You know, Colossians 3.23 that you alluded to, Matthew 6.33, seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. And I think we spend so much time in sports seeking other things that we think are gonna bring it. Yes. You know, and a lot of times you get it and you realize it ain't it. Right? That's right. And it's only by the the spirit of the Lord that we do anything productive for the kingdom. And then it's just it's amazing how everything just falls into place after that. It's and so I hope our listeners can be encouraged by that. And you've been like awesome being vulnerable and sharing what you've shared. Uh it's it's really encouraged me. But that, as we were talking, I was like, man, that's that's the thing you and I talk about all the time, man. Like, God's got it. You don't need me to be perfect. Now I can't be an idiot. You know, I gotta I gotta rein in the Monty, decrease, let him increase. But the spirit of God, the power of God is way more um powerful than we can imagine. And and surrendering to that is is such it's can be a hard thing because we deal in the temporal, we deal in what we see, but God can do it, man. He and he's obviously done it for you. It's pretty cool to watch.

SPEAKER_01 54:11

Yeah, praise Kevin. Well, for those watching on on YouTube, we we have some bookshelves around us that are filled with a few uh different books. And for each one of our guests, we we wanted to give them a book that has kind of helped to shape us in our Christian life today. And and I want to leave you with this book, Tinder Warrior by Stu Weber. And when I see you, Dustin, with with Courtney and your kids, the way that you you love them and you exemplify Christ, I think of this book, Tinder Warrior, and I see that in you. And let's pray for Dustin at this time. Lord, we do thank you for Dustin Vaughn. Thank you for Courtney and their three amazing children. We are just so blessed to live life with them. Uh, we thank you for Dustin's testimony today of faithfulness to you, to his family, to the calling that you have placed upon his life as uh your servant. And Lord, thank you for the many lessons that you have taught him and uh for his identity in you as a godly man of purpose. So would you guide and lead Dustin? And would you also direct each person that might be listening today for them to live out their true purpose in you, live out the calling and your vision for their lives and your perfect will for them. We ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen. Well, thank you for spending time with us today. Go, Spurs, and remember whatever it is you're facing, know that God loves you, He's for you, He's got a good plan for you. And we'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_00 56:09

Thank you for joining us at Coaching Live. And please subscribe wherever you receive this content.