Navigating Growth Without Guilt

Episode 8

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

And we left.

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to the Business Cousins Podcast. We're cousins to talk about business, family, and do they belong together? I'm Bruce Hill, your Better Questions Coach, and I've got my amazing cousin here with us today.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

Yes, Tasha C. Wear. I am Fitness Winners Coach, CEO of HLS Collective. And we both believe, yes, you can work with your cousin. You can do business with open communication and more things that we talk about on a week-to-week basis.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

I love it. So I gotta give you credit for coming up on a great topic. Outgrowing people without losing yourself. Yes. That's a tough one. It is. There's a lot of directions. You could take this. Where did this come from? How does this pop into your mind?

SPEAKER_02 0:53

You know, after six years of hiring cousins and hiring friends, and actually, let's rewind. Circa when I became a fitness manager, I would hire anybody, any friend, any cousin. I was the hookup. You need a job, you might have to start the front desk. Oh no, no. I believe in giving people a job, give them a chance, get them in the door. Um, my mama used to always do that. I'm like, she always gives somebody a job. So got it honestly from her. Shout out to Jackie, mommy. Uh, yes, and it's interesting over the years to see who who took the baton and ran with it, who you had to pass it. They they dropped it along the way, who pivoted, who left, who came, um, and where I was going. And did they want to come with me? Could they come with me?

SPEAKER_00 1:41

But that's I think that's what people miss is they hire people because they're related to you and not because they're qualified for the job.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Oh, for sure. I definitely did that the first 15 years. Absolutely. I did. I I knew them, I knew their character. I knew they would, I knew they wouldn't steal, and I knew they wouldn't, you know, do anything that would tarnish my name completely.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

But that's what happens, right? They're like, this is they end out of jail, drug habit, and then you hire them for a role where they gotta handle cash. No, and then you act surprised about this is why I don't hire a family. No, you hired bad. That was or hired, which is your fault.

SPEAKER_02 2:22

Absolutely. And that happened to me. I have that happened to me. I have so full transparency. I have hired felons, I have hired them fresh out. Some did seven years, some did seven months. It's the gym. They want to get fit, they're like, oh, this is my career. Awesome employees. However, they weren't in jail for stealing, they were in jail for selling.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Uh, entrepreneur. Let's just be very clear. Here at the Business Cousins Podcast, we support hiring felons. We absolutely do. Absolutely, but however, though.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

Dot dot dot.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Right.

SPEAKER_02 2:55

There was someone who came back around, known for years, genius at math, 1600 on the SAT back in the day. I didn't know anybody else who'd done it, but that was my friend. And what happened was perfect on the math. So you know smart. Well, didn't use their smart for good, ended up doing time, and it was quite a cross rock.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

Damn.

SPEAKER_02 3:19

And so they reached out and felt bad, but at the core of it, I won, I knew you're not gonna pass this background check because the way our corporate worked, they would ask you, like, did you know they were insert? And I would have to be honest and say yay or nay. And if they didn't tell me and it came back, then they automatically couldn't get hired. So they had to tell me that was the process. Okay, that was the cheat code. And so I just told them the truth. I said, We literally deal with credit cards all day freely. They sit in an account, you could charge anything. I mean, I had clients leave a black card on accounts, they just you know, and I just said to say, you know, maybe you should try a franchise because unfortunately, I can't, and I can't put myself on the line that you haven't learned how to still manipulate in some way. I don't know how damn bad you got it. You know, it was a tough one. It was it was tough, it was tough. Now, um, my dad has hired cousins that have uh stolen, and he let them paint.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

See, find something find something that makes sense for the situation until they stole.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

No!

SPEAKER_00 4:33

So it's not that they was related, it's just they have poor character.

SPEAKER_02 4:37

Poor character. You know, something you try, you try to give, you try to help. Um, so to your original point, yeah. You do you do have to be discerning about your hiring in some way, shape, or fashion.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

So let's talk about the other side of that. So you tell, hey, listen, we deal with credit cards every day. Unfortunately, your history shows that there may be a trust issue there. If they change, I I don't know. I can't take that risk, right? Um how do we deal with the fallout that says, Oh, oh, now you're too good for us, you got your little corporate job. You've heard it before. Uh, what do you what do you say in response?

SPEAKER_02 5:19

Well, honestly, you know, because families and friends circles can get really big, and some people are evolving and some people aren't. I gotta be honest, sometimes you have to disengage.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

Sometimes it's no response.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

No, I mean, you respond, you give the answer, and no is a full sentence.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

We need uh, do we ever set up the sound bites? Yeah, we do have that's one of them, like a trumpet or something. That's what no is a full sentence, and that sounds cute like a tweet or a me, but living it is really powerful. Hey, are you gonna do this uh for me? No, and most times you don't need to give them an explanation. Um trying to think, exception might be close friend, partner, you know.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Well, I mean, if the exclamation is given, like I gave an explanation. The explanation was okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

So you were generous. You're like, hey, look, this is this thing is why.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

And this is the no. Oh, yeah. Yes, so that's what I mean. Like when I say a no is a full sentence, like I could give it, I will give you the explanation, but you know how people are, they'll bring it, they'll try to finesse you. No, you know, people are criminals are smart.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

So that's that's it then. If you want to hire a family, use discernment.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

Use discernment.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

Seems simple enough, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:40

And I mean, and you know, if if you're really trying to help them, there's other ways, there's other aunties, there's other people that are can we can tap into to say, hey, maybe try this avenue. Yeah, you know, at the end of the day, it's the follow-up. They keep calling them like, oh yeah, well, they're really trying, but figure out something. Clean you clean houses, there's always something.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

There's always um Marie Fole wrote a book called Everything's Figure Outtable. And it was actually a decent book. It's frustrating though that she has built this like empire on a concept that we lived every day. Man, whether it's rent or the car, or it don't it doesn't even have to be something bad. It's just trying to juggle work and study. Maybe you're still in school, right? You say, Man, I don't know, but I'm gonna figure it out. We I used to say that all the time. I don't know if you've said that before. You're a figure it out type of person. All the way back around. I really respect people that take the time, energy, effort to figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Yes, I mean, I live by the things are always working out for me. Something will shake as long as I keep pushing and keep trying and follow instructions of people who've already done it. Like, no, it's the open book.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

Hold on, hold on, don't don't skip that. Uh one of my favorite quotes, you touch on it. It will always work if you do the work. But a lot of people try to figure it out for themselves, especially smart people. Why? Somebody's already figured it out.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

Follow instructions. I, you know, when I said I need to make some sales, I'm gonna read Bruce's book. How about step?

SPEAKER_00 8:23

How did that go? Last week, how the you read the book and then you implement it because don't just be turning pages to collect.

SPEAKER_02 8:28

Yes, we did we did one short call. You said this is what you should go back to the well, you should you should call all your referrals, you should set aside an amount of time that you re-engage, reconnect. So I did that. Step one, step two, set the call, step three, close the call, repeat. And it's what I used to do in corporate, but I gotten in the weeds of CEOness, and I had to say, okay, I gotta take that hat back off and put this hat back on. And but clear directions is what you know, it's like I didn't try to figure it out because I was like, okay, you've been out the game of that for a little while, do what's working, ask an expert.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

And that's what's magical about what I do. I felt guilty about it because it's so simple. Um, you can check out askingbetterquestions.com. You can grab a bit of my fingwork that I taught to Tasha. And it's so simple, I felt guilty about selling it, but people were getting results, and so I just keep selling.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Yes, it is, and you know, it's the same with my personal training programs. Yeah, it's been working for 24 years if you follow the instructions.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

I I found a tweet uh oh like three, four years ago, and it said you can join eight gyms at once, but you won't get in shape eight times faster. I was like, what was I talking about?

SPEAKER_02 9:53

And it is the truth, but you gotta do the work, you gotta not, and and and you gotta get to the point where it's consistent. It's it's like you know, work is relative at some point. It if you really want this thing, this wellness, this fitness to work, you gotta live it. You have to live.

SPEAKER_00 10:14

I mean, I can't just read about it, you know. Can't I just walk up and watch a podcast?

SPEAKER_02 10:18

I got some smart clients, they are geniuses at knowing all the things, but they're a digital course. Yeah, mm-mm, no magic skinny one because you read the book. Nope, nope, doesn't work that. I wish I'd be rich already.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

Uh that's what Les Brown says. He said, if knowledge was power, we all be skinny, rich, and happy.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

Hello, hello, and that is the truth. So, yeah, some follow through, implicate, you know, and following instructions. Don't make it up. Oh, you know what I saw on TikTok today? No, no, you know what I tell my clients, don't you sign up with me? I don't want to hear what they said. I don't want to hear what they did. We're talking about you, we're talking about your lifestyle.

SPEAKER_00 10:56

Okay, so so let's talk about we're talking about outgrowing people, uh, especially these past five years, man. Artificial intelligence is gone. It's become a really popular topic. And because of that, people have access to more information faster and the wrong information faster. How do we make sure we're getting the right information in the right order from the right people?

SPEAKER_02 11:18

Um, you're right, because I know um one of my clients' sons, I gave him a program because he was just chat GBT and but he almost broke it. He's like, I want to play like Michael Stryhan, and I want to play like Tom Brady, and I want, and it was so crazy that he she said it was giving him all kinds of crazy things to do. And I said, Because they don't know him. They still don't know him. They still don't, he isn't well-rounded enough to say, hey, well, my left leg is a little bit shorter than my right leg. And this actually, I had a tube in my stomach for the first half of my life, and you know, all the things that matter when you're building a program to make yourself well fit, fast, strong, flexible. At some point, you need some data on yourself, and you need someone outside of yourself to give you the answer because you can't see yourself, even in ballet, the best ballet dancers, we have a ballet teacher. Yeah, from the beginning to the end to tell you, hey, your right foot's not quite turned out enough.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:20

So that is, I think, back to our topic with when you evolve past some people who you would like to come with you, they're not implementing it real time.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

That's been a tough one for me. Uh that's been a tough one for me. There's a couple people I really want to come with me, but they're stuck on what they know, like what they can they have experienced. And we read uh thinking you're rich. Oh, here it is. It's never too far away. So this is one I read almost every year. And one of the principles, uh, the 13 steps towards riches, it talks about the mastermind. Okay, and that's very simply a group of like-minded individuals supporting each other towards a common goal. So this uh friend of mine goes through a hard time and stops coming to the mastermind. And I'm like, this is literally what the mastermind is for. Yeah, literally, and so that's been a big one for me. So I've kept the mastermind going, actually joined another. Um, so there's there's my speakers group on Tuesdays, book club on Fridays, and then Wednesdays is um the business mastermind. So I'm I'm I'm trying to get to every day of the week eventually of people that are with me or ahead of me. And so it's really frustrating because I've known this for almost 20 years. I would love for him to come with me. Um there's another friend I've known for 30 years, and his excuse is man, I'm just too busy. You know what? I'm choking up thinking about it. I really have to unpack some grief around that.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

Yeah, it is. Oh, I learned that in therapy. It's like it's like a it's like a death, it's like a breakup. I had that last year too. Yeah. Where, yeah, yeah, it really is a thing when you lose, you feel like you lost the person you thought was gonna be at the end with you or at the like the pinnacle. And unfortunately, that happened to me as well. Same thing, something very similar. And what I what I learned was their goal was more about them, about how awesome they can be in their training and then their the personal development, and what I'm building is a legacy and a community and a coalition. So I'm not it's I'm no longer training myself in that regard. I'm in a I'm in I'm learning how to podcast. I have a book of the month. We have our community meeting for paramenopause and menopause on Tuesdays. Like you and I have a very similar schedule going on. Um, and I include this in our in my educational growth, just learning to um express what the world needs to know from this perspective, you know.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 15:17

Uh, so it is, it is, and it feels like a breakup. It does because you're you you know, you and I have that innately like we're gonna be cousins for him, we're gonna go to we're gonna be living on the yacht for a month together. And you want your people to be part of the process and the journey. You don't want to just be like, hey, I invited you after the fact. It's like, no, let me give you a lazy.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Even though I wouldn't have mind inviting them after the fact, they would be able to come, but I don't have any PTO.

SPEAKER_02 15:45

That part, you know, then it's gonna be that part.

SPEAKER_00 15:49

And that's no shade to anyone with a job. I just think that uh I have some friends, they're smarter than me, but they don't see it for themselves. So I think I think working a job can be a great path for a lot of people, maybe even most people. Um smart, talented people, entrepreneurship is just a different journey, and uh they don't want to take that journey. And I and I respect that, I love them, but man, I miss them.

SPEAKER_02 16:17

Yeah, man, I miss them. Man, I miss my dog.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

I remember uh this is I was back at university and my guys, hey man, want to go get some rallies, some checkers if you're in the south. I said, Man, I don't have no money. He's like, he punches me. He's like, Man, I asked you how much money you had. I said, He said, Do you want some food or not? Nah, no, I was like, Hey bro, keep your hands to yourself, but yeah, let's go.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

Yeah, that happened to one of my friends. She was not doing well, one of her guys, and I was like, Wanna go to Miami? She's like, Oh, I I didn't ask you if you had any money. I said, Do you? And then the book did an insert book ticket. Let's go.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

That's it, let's go. Yeah, that one's a twice for friends, you know. Yeah, because the company's so valuable, good people are so valuable. And I think of a really pivotal moment, um, we were about to lose our jobs because the company sold that division. And I was like, Man, I want to do something different so I can get different results. I had I had that much wisdom. I was like, okay, you do the same thing, you're gonna get the same results. So I call uh my buddy up and I say, Man, if I work harder and how do I get paid better? Like if I do more, how do I get paid more? And he's like, Oh, that's sales. And looking back, if he had sold uh, let's say houses, I might be a realtor. Um, if he sold insurance, I might be in a life insurance broker, right? Um, if he had sold drugs, who knows? I could be dead or in jail. Uh so he sold cars. So guess what he told me? He told me to sell cars, and so that's what I did. And that's such a that's a small six-minute conversation, but it changes the path of your life because that's where I learned how to sell, that's where I learned how to train, that's where I learned how to lead. And that's actually where I started one of my first businesses uh in coaching and consulting. And that's where I'm so particular, that's why I value our conversation so much. I appreciate everyone listening, right? You kind of fly on the wall because they really shape who you are and where you end up in the world.

SPEAKER_02 18:25

Oh, yeah, for sure, for sure. The the things that I learned at Gold's Gym Corporate were invaluable. Just how to just ask, ironically, ask the right questions. I do a lot of asking questions and listening in fitness where like you obviously came to me because you think I have the answer. I just need to know what you think the what do you think you want from that outcome and really dive into that. But just the repetition of it all because they had so many people coming in, you know, that I didn't have to go, I didn't have to go forwards for. Um, and just learning from other because ironically enough, they hired from other industries for managers. They always hired from restaurants or hotels, they were hardly ever gym gym folks when they for general manager positions.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

Did you ever say why?

SPEAKER_02 19:14

No, it was the man, yeah. It was it was it was more that than anything. It was a good old boys' club thing. If I have to um some people transition from fitness, I stayed a fitness manager because I didn't want to be general. I'm like, I am an expert.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

I don't think changes. A lot of people don't realize going from the fitness manager, you're you're still working with fitness, you go to a general manager, you're working with spreadsheets and numbers.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

And we did spreadsheet and numbers as fitness manager, but I didn't want to. Oh my gosh, yes. Oh, we had goals.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

I had to hit what percentage of the time was it?

SPEAKER_02 19:45

Like half uh 60. I was only, they actually capped me. I was only allowed to train actual clients 10 hours a week, and everything else was hiring trainers, managing trainers, payroll. Um, we had budgets, game plans for each month. Because I mean the goal was like 50 to 70,000 a month that I had to be in charge of. So I had to track that on a daily basis, a monthly basis, a yearly basis.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

So, what was different about uh general manager that made you stay away?

SPEAKER_02 20:11

I didn't want to be in charge of the air conditioning breaking and the water fountain, and I didn't want to man, like I kind of managed the cleaning staff and equipment and things like that, but I didn't want to manage their budget. I didn't want to do that part of it. I didn't want to worry about if the gym opened, if the gym closed, what did we do on a snow day? I didn't want to be in charge of all the brick and mortar parts of it all.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

That's good self-awareness.

SPEAKER_02 20:37

And I wouldn't do that either. And the comp plan wasn't better. They had better phase, but if you can read a PL in the long run, I was making more than my general managers. Not all of them, but plenty of them. So it didn't benefit me, admitted the company, but it didn't benefit me.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

That's another conversation for another day.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

Yes. So I guess one more question for you is loyalty ever expensive?

SPEAKER_00 21:04

Man, that could be your life. Um, so my philosophy is to always give uh without harming yourself, and don't take more um unless you know it doesn't cause harm to others. And so you have this yin and yin where I want you to be loyal and remember the people that you came up with. However, there's a point where if they're not coming with you, you have to ask yourself is sacrificing our future worth the stagnation of being still. And that's a really tough question.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:48

Because if you're gonna have grief, like you said on the breakup of there, and they're gonna feel betrayed on their end, um, you'll be haunted if you're not careful with what if. Um, if you stay, you wonder where where could I have been, what could I have done? And you leave, you'll you'll sometimes wish, like, man, I wish I could have brought them with me. Um, I don't know if there's a right answer to that one. It's all about your priorities, it's all about your vision for the future. Just one thing that lifeguard taught me. If you try and save someone that that's panicking, then you'll both drown.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

Yeah. I think that's a word. I think that's where it lies. Um, are you tra are they treading water and pulling you down? You know, I think you said it well. Well, I hope everyone enjoyed this conversation. We can talk about this one for, but we'll we'll, I'm sure we'll circle back to this one again in some way, shape, or fashion. Um, because it is the root of a lot of building your legacy and building your community and building your company. Um, you will have to to make those hard decisions to decide who can still come and who's poking poking holes in your boat.

SPEAKER_00 23:03

Yeah, I think next in a future conversation, let's talk about the friends we made along the way.

SPEAKER_02 23:10

Oh, absolutely. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

There's some amazing people I've known for two or three years, but we're so close. They've they've been a blessing.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

Yeah, I got some new ones too that I've probably known maybe a year, not even. And I'm like, gosh, I feel like they've been for the ride because they're around dies right now. Yes, we can swing in that direction for sure.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

Okay, all right. That's it.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

New friends, yes, we believe new friends and take your cousins.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

All right, y'all. This is the Better Cousins Podcast. Cheers until we speak again. Uh, have a successful week.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

All right.