EPISODE 18 You are Avoiding The One Thing That Will Change Everything

 “You know exactly what you need to do… you’re just not doing it.”

Main Points

• Avoidance patterns
• Fear disguised as procrastination
• The “one move” concept
• Action creates clarity

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Business Cousins Podcast where we do mixed business and family, and it works out great. George Philly, Bruce Bird Questions Hill, and my amazing cousin. Go ahead and introduce yourself, Cousel.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Hey, I'm Tasha Cooper Ware, HLS Collective. And yes, we do enjoy doing business together. I think we can confirm that.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

It's working out really well so far.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

I appreciate your support. Grabbing the book. Oh, I listen, I'm getting better at this. Grab a copy of Better Questions, Better Clients. Yes. If you want to grow your business and uh as a leader. So, yeah, that's our unofficial sponsor for today. Excellent. You always come up with your great questions. So, was anybody tuning in? We focus on business, professional development, personal development. Is it your first time today? Um, if you're back, welcome back. Uh, you asked a really great question. You said, what is it that you're avoiding that could change everything? I say say it in your language.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

You're avoiding the one thing that will change everything.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Oh, it's a statement.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

It's a statement.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

You're avoiding the one thing that could change everything. Why would I avoid what could change everything?

SPEAKER_00 1:09

You know, I don't know if it's a why. I think there's many of whys. Um, I would say first thing is you do know exactly what to do, you're just not doing it. And you're calling it confusion, but really, it's avoidance. Once again, we talked about it last week. But that avoidance is real.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

So let's talk about how we can help people through that next level breakthrough. But before we do that, why should people listen to you? What do you know about personal development about entrepreneurship?

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Well, I know consistency makes things happen, and there's lots of things that I did that I wanted to avoid, i.e., posting every day or getting on the internet and speaking out loud with my voice and not just pretty pictures, and it doesn't move the needle anymore, you know, with the times and how marketing is in this present day of 6-2, 2026. Um, there are things in business that I have avoided that I no longer avoid, and I wish someone would have said that to me sooner. So that gives me a valid, you know.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

You're speaking from experience.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Very much so. And even within other things that I've been able to accomplish, ballet, for example.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Yeah, be specific. What's something you accomplished in ballet? Because someone's listening to this. There's tens of thousands of podcasts, so we appreciate you listening to this one. And they're like, I don't know. Is this good advice? Is can I trust this advice? Tell them a little bit about something you're avoiding in ballet, for example.

SPEAKER_00 2:53

Well, not necessarily avoiding something in ballet, but the dancers around me who avoided ballet in the early years didn't become a professional. It is the foundation, it is the technique of it all that no matter what kind of dancer or performer you wanted to be, circa one, I was a professional dancer. The people who avoided ballet weren't successful. And any in any dancing, not just successful ballet, successful in concert dance, successful in Broadway, um, maybe successful at street dancing or pole dancing. But some of the best pole dancers have really good ballet technique. Interesting, actually, you know, that beautiful lines and beautiful legs, but um avoiding it because it is hard work and it isn't as glamorous at first, and it isn't fun. People have to do it.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Now we're getting somewhere, you know.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

That's the correlation in business. There's lots of things that are not gonna be glamorous and kind of boring, but will move the needle. You know, so what's something that you avoided?

SPEAKER_01 3:58

I think a big one for me was um hosting a webinar.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Really?

SPEAKER_01 4:07

Yeah, because I was like, well, I get business through you know, um speaking engagements or from in-person networking, and so I really don't want to be an online guru. And so I just put off hosting webinars for a long time, and they take time, like I have to be at certain places at a certain time, I gotta be in front of the computer, and I just didn't want to do it. And it's not even that I was scared, I just didn't want to do it, I didn't feel like it. But one of the breakthroughs that happened when I finally did it, uh I made a little bit, I made a couple dollars, but what was really powerful was the clarity that I had in order to like create slides and create a message and talk on one topic for 90 minutes, and so it made me stronger as a speaker, and it helped me close deals, like it helped me. So outside of the webinar, I was able to tell stories that converted, and um I was holding myself back. Uh, how did you say it?

SPEAKER_00 5:09

Perfection paralysis. Perfection paralysis.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

I was holding myself back. Uh, so that was a big one for me was hosting a webinar. So now if you hit um weeklywebinar.info, it'll pop up. You'll see this month is turning conversations into clients, and it's just to help and it's to help you turn conversations into clients, right? Um but I I procrastinate on for so long.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

Yeah. And I get that a lot. I get people who even you said you start off, you're like, I'm gonna read a book every week, every whatever was your timeline.

SPEAKER_01 5:43

Yeah, one one a week.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

One a week, right? And it and it's great, and it's like some of it, it's the avoidance looks productive, and sometimes it is, but it's the I'm gonna research and start a starting, or I'm gonna planning instead of executing, or waiting for that perfect time, um, and just staying busy to avoid the real work, like just do the webinar. You do know the subject matter, you do you can speak on it for 90 minutes. You don't need any more research, no, you don't need any more planning. You need you don't need to wait for the perfect time, you need to just do the thing. And it's the same, and it's the same in personal training. Like, you don't need more information. I told you how much water to drink. You just decided you were gonna drink it three days instead of seven because you were so busy.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

Oh, you're too busy to drink water?

SPEAKER_00 6:29

That's it because they don't because they don't want they say they don't want to go to the restroom. And I'm like, but that's like a good thing. You want it to come out, but I'm trying to tell you. That's one thing I get it, I'll get it at least once a week. Oh, I can't stay out of the bathroom. I'm like, again, your body will adjust, but you have to stay stay in it, you know.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

It seems like every other episode we're saying the word consistency.

SPEAKER_00 6:51

Yeah, it's a big one because I feel like that's the one thing you do have some control over. You don't have control over if they say yes and you close them at the end of a deal. You don't have that, you don't have control over whether they say yes to your pitch to some new proposal to this corporate company, but you can consistently keep reaching out to different corporate companies, you could consistently keep working on your pitch, you could consistently, you know, drink the water, you have control.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

So why do people know what to do, maybe even know how to do it, and know that they want the results on the other end, and then still don't do it?

SPEAKER_00 7:32

Um I think that that kind of goes back to what we were talking about before. I think it is procrastination. I don't think that they don't want to be on the other side of it, and sometimes it's like fear disguised as procrastination, like fear of failure. It's like, yeah, you were just procrastinating. Like you're not really fearful of success, are you? It's the procrastination part, it's procrastination, you know.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

Those are the times that I felt the most stagnant. That when I'm like, oh yeah, I'm gonna do those calls, I'm gonna do those on Tuesdays, even though it's already Tuesday, I'm gonna start next Tuesday. It's procrastination.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

It's not reasonable.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

It's not fun. I don't necessarily want to talk to random people I've never met before, even though I do want new clients, and then I usually like talking to them. You know, introverts from talking to you, yeah, you know, it it is a thing, but um I I would say, why do you think people don't get on the other side of it and they don't stick to something? Consistently that helps move the needle in their business.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

I think the biggest reason is uncertainty. So I used to do a talk when I was um I was president of Toastmasters 1565, the uh oldest chapter in Nashville. And uh I did a talk called Fear versus Uncertainty. And when I realized, like I I lived in Cincinnati years ago, and my buddy calls me and say, Bruce, don't go outside. He's like, Are you outside? No, I'm he's like, don't go outside. I said, What's going on? He's like, There's a tiger that got a loose from the zoo.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

What?

SPEAKER_01 9:16

And I was like, he's like, no, he's like, look in the news, there's a tiger, and he hangs up. He's like, I gotta call some other people. He hangs up, and so I look, sure enough, a tiger got loose, right? And because only in Ohio, and I was like, I tell the story because I don't want you to be brave in that scenario. Like, I'm gonna go outside, I ain't scared of no tiger. I want you to be scared of a tiger. That's healthy, it's gonna keep you alive. Well, your brain has the same response to uncertainty. So, you know, I'm gonna send this LinkedIn pitch, I'm gonna pick and phone to call a stranger. Um, I'm gonna ask someone to sign up for the membership, they come into my gym. And we don't know what they're gonna say, we don't know how it's gonna go. Are they gonna be mad? Are they gonna cuss? Are they gonna yell? You know, and so the uncertainty triggers the fear response. I think it stops us from taking action. Uh right. I don't want to start the podcast. I don't know. Am I gonna get any downloads? We need any subscribers. I don't want to fill in a blank, or or they'll push it back. Well, and they try and do that research, that that um perfection by procrastination. Perfection paralysis, perfection paralysis, yes, they're uncertainty, they're trying to get a hundred percent clarity on the outcome before they even take the first step, yeah. And they get started, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

You know, you're procrastinating because you're protecting yourself from discomfort. Absolutely, you know, it's not comfortable to be rejected when you're trying to get a new client or trying to close a deal. Um, it's not comfortable to get on the internet and speak your mind. People have the fear of being judged, they don't want to get canceled and things like that. You've seen the biggest stars get canceled, and but that's what they want us to do. They want to sign, they want to silence us. And you have to push through that. Like your your words matter. If you are doing something with integrity, you were put here to change the world in some way.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

Hopefully for the better.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Hopefully for the better. Hopefully, you're on the the up and up team, but you know, but at the end of the day, you gotta you gotta give the world what you were put here for, yeah, and push past that discomfort and push past that procrastination that keeps you from getting to that discomfort, and then you can get on the other side of it, and you'll look back and you're like, Man, I should have done this sooner. Yes, yes, what they call it, though, the one principle move, or the one move principle, where you're like just one conversation, one decision.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

I had a great conversation. Shout out to uh Therese. Um I was telling her I work with SaaS companies, and she was like, Oh, I'm the operations director for Atlanta Tech Week. And I was like, Oh, I didn't know that, but that's amazing. Please refer me. Sales roles, and it's just because I asked, right? You know, I didn't have a script or sales page, just asked, we just had a conversation, yeah. Um, but there's so many of people that are inches away from something amazing in their life and their business, um, but they're letting that one little thing hold them back.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Mm-hmm. Every time, every time.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

How do we help them break through?

SPEAKER_00 12:40

You know, I think the first step is to figure out what's really gonna move the needle and what you're trying to accomplish. Like just one thing, you know.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

Hmm, okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:51

Because sometimes I think we do get overwhelmed with oh, I have to do this, like I have to. I always use fitness, but I you know, I have to work out five days a week, and I have to drink water, and I got a meal prep. Oh, they somebody said I should run, somebody said, and that's why I know other pockets. I was like, I'm listening today. Like, why don't you start playing? Pick two or three things that you're gonna start with and you're gonna actually stick to for the whole year.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

You know, stick to like you like like your plan of sticking to the calls five days a week. You picked one thing, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

This this month it's uh uh video every day on LinkedIn, okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

A measurable something that's measurable that you can look and say, okay, well, at least I did 80% and this was the outcome. What should I duplicate next month for two months? Or should I scrap it all together because I got nothing?

SPEAKER_01 13:46

Right, and I'm curious to see what happens. Yeah, okay. I I like that. What you know, what's the thing that's gonna give the most return? I ask a similar question. Uh, what's the smallest, easiest thing I can do right now that's gonna make the biggest difference? And I usually just go do that, and let's do that because there's hundreds of things you could do.

SPEAKER_00 14:09

Absolutely, absolutely. Like even doing this podcast, this is a great learning.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

This is a perfect example. Go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

Yeah, yeah, this is a perfect learning curve for me because I did want to speak more and I didn't want to speak the camera, I just didn't necessarily want to speak to myself. That's tough, you know, but the consistency of us meeting together and starting this, I can see how it's gonna improve in the future.

unknown 14:37

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

That's kind of how ballet is. It's like you have to do the thing at five, six, seven, eight, nine years old so that when you're 17, 18, 19, it's second nature. And now look, you're in the backyard again and you have a TV show, you know. That's how it happens.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

It's that easy.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

Just gotta earn it. Do a little ballet.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

That's the solution of all life's problems, ballet.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

Try it, you know, try it. Do a little plie.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

I could use some flexibility.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

I'm um I'm just the body awareness that a person can procure in a ballet class, the mental acuity, acuity. I tell everybody, put your little kid, put your babies in a ballet class. I I bet you they get all A's when they start school. Because they have to remember, they have to have to take in the information, they have to take constructive feedback and not get in their feelings.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

All right, ballet classes.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

Ballet classes.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

I'll do it. Yeah, okay. All right.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Just a few years, they don't have to become a ballerina, but they are they have they they've done studies, it raises our self-esteem. There's lots of good things that come from ballet.

SPEAKER_01 15:52

Okay, I learned something today, and and so you have to ask yourself, listener, subscriber, what are we gonna call them? Cousins? There we go. Cousins, cousins, cousins, yes, you gotta ask yourself, what's my ballet? What's the basics? What's the fundamental? What's the uh transformative work? I don't even want to say hard work. It might be challenging because you're operating in a version of yourself that is new and unfamiliar. Um, but what was that? 16 episode 15 or 16. We talk about it doesn't have to be difficult.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

Oh, yeah, like it doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be a struggle, struggle, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

That's what it was. You don't have to struggle your way to success. Yeah, you have to be consistent your way to success. So you gotta find out what your ballet is, cousin.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

Find out what your ballet is, cousin. Indeed.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

That's good. I think I think that's a good way to leave it right there. Yeah, you're this close to a breakthrough, you're this close to to a transformation. It's on the other side of the action you're refusing to take.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Yes, so go do that one thing that will change everything. Let's get it.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

Tune in, uh, like and subscribe. Tell a friend to tell a friend. See y'all next week.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

See you next week.