Traversing Tuesdays

Season 2 Episode 2: Spring in Three Pines Junction

• Mycala Kembring • Season 2 • Episode 2

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 32:29

Send us Fan Mail

The Tuesday News Network welcomes a new crew member, Fenwick returns from hibernation leave, and the long-anticipated Moss Ball season opener is covered exclusively by the network team. 

Sign up for the Side Path Newsletter

Join us on Patreon

A Message from the Friendly Water Glass

Friendly Water Glass

You're listening to Traversing Tuesdays, and this is your friendly water glass. Listen, let's just address it. We're all feeling weird lately. Maybe tired. Maybe exhausted even after you woke up. Maybe motivated for a few minutes, and then poof, absolutely not. Yeah, that's spring. One day it's 35 degrees and you're back in a coat like it's February. The next day it's 82 and you leave your coat at work. Your body is confused, your brain is buffering. Even the birds don't know what's going on. If you're feeling a little off, a little foggy, a little slow, a little why did I walk in here again? You're not broken, you're just adjusting. This is what I like to call spring static. Everything's waking up, but it's not quite tuned in yet. So here's the deal. Lower the bar, take care of the basics. Water, open a window if you can. Stand in a patch of sunlight like a lizard with responsibilities, whatever that means. If all you do today is exist in mildly confusing weather and consider doing laundry, that counts. Take a sip, we'll figure it out together. I'll be right here, slightly cooler than room temperature and emotionally available. You're doing great. Thanks as always for listening.

Liam's intro

Liam

Welcome to Traversing Tuesdays. Thank you for tuning in. In our last episode, the News Network team began season two with a soft opener. Broadcasting remotely, the team reported on events from winter and shared their excitement about spring. If you're just joining us, welcome. Traversing Tuesdays is the home of Tuesday News Network, a fictional team of whimsical characters bringing you all the news you want to hear. We're also returning from a winter hiatus, during which MK took time to recover from illness and surgery. We're grateful to be back and easing into a rhythm that supports both creativity and care. For now, new episodes will arrive on the first Tuesday morning of each month. As capacity allows, we'll expand the schedule, with the possibility of shorter bonus episodes along the way. We're also settling into a new podcast home. During this transition, some apps may not update the feed automatically. If that happens, simply search for the show in your preferred app and follow it again, it should appear right away. Otherwise, everything remains the same. We're just in a new space. In today's episode, we're sharing a selection of moments from earlier in the series, an opportunity for new listeners to step into the world of traversing Tuesdays, and for returning listeners to revisit a few familiar scenes. Rupert and the team bring you the latest developments from Three Pines Junction, while Dell and our newly appointed sports anchor cover the much anticipated Mossball season opener. This is episode 2, Spring in Three Pines Junction.

Station Identification

Season One Highlights

Rupert

You're listening to Tuesday News Network, serving all of Three Pines Junction, including the North woods, the West woods, and outlying areas. Tuesday News Network, for all the news you want to hear. Greetings listeners. I'm your host, Rupert Kettle. Thank you for tuning in. We begin today's broadcast with a synopsis of season 1, providing context for the events that follow. Our first news segment, in episode 1, featured just two stories. A scene we see all too regularly here in Three Pines Junction: a squabble over property, and a recurring feature about the smooshy-faced dog who lives on Ponder Path. The full news segment follows. Tensions have reached a boiling point on the roof of the house across the street when a skirmish erupted between the resident chimney swift couple and a squirrel attempting a hostile takeover. For more on this developing story, we go live to our window correspondent, Sister Cat.

Sister Cat

Thank you. I am reporting live from my perch by the window, where I have maintained visual surveillance for the past six hours. Admittedly, I did nap a bit and enjoyed a maniacal roll through a bit of leftover catnip sprinkled on my favorite toy mouse, which still has a bit of ribbon left on the tail. I must work on that later. I digress. While initially the chimney swifts were able to hold their ground, the squirrel called for reinforcements and a small pack of squirrels broke through the barricade to capture the chimney. I will continue to observe during my other activities. Back to you, Rupert.

Rupert

Thank you, Sister Cat. In other news, EmKay has reported that the smooshy-faced dog has not been in his yard during her recent walks past his house. EmKay states, and I quote, I love the smooshy-faced dog and I miss him. Smooshy-faced dog, please come back out and run along the fence as I walk by. Your adorable little smooshy face makes my day. Smooshy-faced dog, wherever you are, I hope you have heard this message. We all here at the Tuesday News Network are eager to hear about the next Smooshyface Dog sighting. And until next time, may your path cross with a smiling face, smooshy or otherwise. In episode 4, a new co-anchor arrived, broadcasting through a small speaker positioned on my desk.

Fenwick

Hello, is this thing on?

Rupert

Hello. What's this? Who is on my desk?

Fenwick

Hello, Rupert. I am Fenwick, the Underground Correspondent.

Rupert

The what? Are you a new intern? Is this some sort of prank?

Fenwick

No, Rupert. I am your co-anchor, the underground correspondent.

Rupert

The one who didn't show up at the start of the season?

Fenwick

My apologies, Rupert. I was on my way. It takes me some time to get about.

Rupert

That's really no excuse for being three weeks late.

Fenwick

Rupert, I am a snail.

Rupert

Ah.

Rupert

Fenwick's presence soon expanded the scope of the broadcast. His reporting brought attention to details that were previously overlooked, including a turtle on B Street and the slower-paced creatures of the garden. The arrival of Dell, however, marked an immediate period of confusion and disruption within the studio environment. The questions raised at that time remain unanswered to this day. Where she came from, whether she is human, and whether the item she wears is a backpack or some form of battery pack. Her keen interest in the history and customs of our area, paired with a consistent inability to understand food preparation or what works in a kitchen, remains as puzzling as ever. Where she does excel is in research, the curation of lists of interesting facts, and the organization of information into sets and subsets. An aptitude that stands in contrast to her general approach to daily operations. In episode 9, the news team held a potluck, during which Dell's approach to food preparation and interpretation became a matter of some note.

Liam

Dell has created mini sandwiches in various shapes. Rectangles, triangles, rhombuses, with a different filling for each shape. She refers to them as metaphors for digestion. Each sandwich has a toothpick in the center with either an olive, a grape tomato, or a is that a raisin? Okay. Sure.

Dell

This rhombus tastes like curiosity and mustard, but if you eat the triangle after the rectangle, it becomes a cautionary tale. The raisin is optional, but emotionally significant.

Rupert

During a cooking challenge Dell designed in episode 12, she produced a basket containing various items. She somehow thought we could use all of them to create something edible.

Dell

Okay. We have Triscuits, frozen peas, canned tomatoes, a bottle of mustard, an onion, and an avocado. Let's do this.

Rupert

That's an odd mix. What are you suggesting we do with that?

Dell

We could make a very crunchy casserole. Sort of an avant-garde installment. Maybe a cracker-based salad? A layer-based construction could offer structural integrity if we use strategic layering.

Rupert

Del, not everything needs to be an art installation. Some things need to be edible.

Fenwick

I am hearing words together that are not making any sense. A cracker-based salad with no leafy greens at all. That's that's no Del no. Step away from the kitchen. This is not your domain.

Rupert

Dell, Fenwick is right. Have you ever eaten anything in your life? Do you understand how things fit together? Do you not have taste buds? The challenge concluded with Sister Cat placing an order for delivery, as no viable alternative presented itself. Dell's reporting expanded to include local events, including the Grand Gnome Joust and an insult tournament held at the Regional Renaissance Fair, both of which she documented in considerable detail. During this same period, Fenwick had been awarded hibernation leave and was tasked with finding a suitable temporary replacement. The interview process yielded a range of candidates, several of whom appeared to misunderstand the nature of the position. These included a snowy owl and a Stoat, both of whom expressed interest in the role, as well as in consuming members of the news team. Other applicants included Betty Blue Jay, a neighborhood gossip; Cinder, a feral cat seeking proximity to Sister Cat; a Yeti of no fixed address and uncertain commitment, and Mossy Tidwell, a gnome whose encounter with a twizzle cap mushroom has rendered him largely incapable of completing a full sentence. Fenwick ultimately selected Sprocket, a resident of the Deep North Woods, known for designing amusement rides for forest dwellers, repairing equipment, assisting those lost in the woods, and providing food to snowbound animals during winter, among other contributions. With the selection of Sprocket as Fenwick's temporary replacement during hibernation, preparations for the seasonal transition were considered complete. Season 1 consisted of 19 episodes and is characterized by an expansion in scope, participation, and overall complexity across the network's reporting. The season concluded unexpectedly without a formal finale due to unforeseen health circumstances affecting the show's beloved producer. We now return to the present-day broadcast.

All The News You Want to Hear

Sister Cat

This is Sister Cat, your certified and board-approved napping specialist, here to share my hard-earned knowledge and expertise. With the arrival of spring, there is often a sense that everything must awaken at once. The light returns, the air softens, and suddenly there are expectations of movement, of productivity, of becoming. I would like to offer a gentle alternative. You may also nap. Spring is not only a season of growth, it is a season of adjustment. The body remembers winter, even as the sun insists otherwise. There is no rule that says you must match the pace of the light on the very first warm day. As a professional in this area, I will now share several advanced napping techniques. First, the strategic sunbeam. Locate a patch of sunlight that has committed fully to its position. Do not chase the sun. Let the sun come to you. Second, the partial awareness method. You are not fully asleep. You are not fully awake. You are available, should anything interesting occur. Third, the sudden reposition. At an entirely unpredictable moment, you will shift locations. This is essential for maintaining circulation and intrigue. As for recommended duration, I suggest anywhere from 20 minutes to an unspecified amount of time that feels correct in your bones. If you wake and immediately wish to nap again, this is a sign that you are doing it properly. A well-timed nap is not a failure to begin, it is a way of arriving more fully. Find a patch of sun. Settle in. That detail remains unclear. Shortly after the squirrel was left alone by his colleagues, three starlings engaged the squirrel mid-rooftop, prompting a rapid retreat to the electrical wire. The squirrel then attempted to stabilize itself along the utility pole, where it remained briefly while additional starlings arrived and began repeated swooping passes from above. The movement was highly coordinated, with staggered aerial approaches and repeated re-engagements near the wire line. The squirrel maintained position but appeared under considerable pressure. At this time, squirrel reinforcements did not appear, though given previous patterns, additional activity is expected. This chimney is considered prime real estate, particularly since the next door neighbours set up new bird feeders over the winter. I will continue to observe from this window. Back to you, Rupert.

Rupert

Thank you, Sister Cat, for that vivid reporting. Disturbing developments indeed, in what appears to be an unresolved matter of vertical housing rights. Residents are advised that chimneys are not currently subject to seasonal ownership guarantees, and that occupancy may be reassessed without notice upon the return of seasonal avian administrative bodies. In other news, the smooshafaced dog was recently seen running in her yard. It was a very exciting time, as months have gone by with no smooshi-faced sightings to speak of. Spring has officially sprung, and I could not be happier. EmKay has been following the network team with a sketchbook. She mentioned something about honing her skill at capturing the likeness of a squirrel. I say, it is profoundly disconcerting. I will be sitting at my desk, minding my own business, attempting to compose a most pressing report, and I'll look up and she'll be staring intently at me, furiously scribbling with a pencil. I do hope this exercise is over soon.

Sister Cat

Rupert. EmKay has been drawing me for over a decade. She has amassed a lovely collection of me curled into various positions. One of my very favorites is a quick sketch she did of my back foot. It's a very accurate rendering of my tow beans. I suppose some of us are better suited to adoration than others.

Rupert

Perhaps if I scheduled a formal sitting. And now for an event that many of our listeners have been waiting for all winter, Fennec has emerged from hibernation. Fennec, have you got any news?

Fenwick

Greetings, listeners. The weather is still fluctuating wildly, but there are many exciting developments in the garden. The tarragon is back from last year. The oregano chip loving. Yellow jackets are already scoping out the compost containers. I am still groggy, but I am happy it is spring, and I look forward to warmer weather. Back to you, Rupert.

Rupert

Thank you, Fenwick. It is good to have you back with us. I hope you enjoyed your winter's nap. And our final story comes with a bit of history. Some of you know that Stephen made a number of unauthorized appearances on set during our first season. When Felicia the Stoat attacked him, I intervened. Sister Cat expressed surprise. I informed her I was not one to sit back and watch an old friend be eaten. When the position of sports anchor posted, Stephen was not the obvious choice, but against expectation and in some cases, judgment, he earned his place. Time will determine whether that was wise. Rupert Kettle, Tuesday News Network. Mind the Squirrels.

Exclusive Coverage of the Moss Ball Season Opener

Marty

Broadcasting live from Ponder Lake Field. This is your long-anticipated Moss Bowl season opener. Tuesday News Network presents your play-by-play analyst. Precise, unshakable, and possibly already three moves ahead, Dell. And joining her at the desk to offer colour commentary, strong opinions, and a working knowledge of the game that may or may not be completely accurate, sports anchor Stephen the Squirrel. Brought to you by our sponsors. When getting there eventually is still getting there. And Cloud 9 weather predictions. We stand by our guests. The official sponsors for the 2026 Moss Bowl season. Let's play ball!

Stephen

Hey, how come you got first billing? I'm the sports anchor.

Dell

Probably seniority. It's listed alphabetically after the system update. I have been informed that this is a sport. I am choosing to believe that.

Stephen

It is not just a sport, Dell. It is a way of life. Oh wow, look at the hats! Look at the hats! They've gone with a tighter crimp this year. Uh that's very bold.

Dell

For those unfamiliar with the ritual, a gnome from the North Woods and one from the West Woods will attempt to move moss balls. Using thoughts.

Stephen

And the chosen gnomes for today's game are Nombert the Bold and Oh no. Mossy Tidwell. That's terrible luck.

Dell

Clarify.

Stephen

Ever since Mossy ate that twizzle cap mushroom, it seems like he hasn't had a coherent thought and he hasn't been able to complete a sentence. You don't remember his audition for Fenwick's winter replacement? Hey Rupert, can you grab a clip of that so the listeners get the drift?

Mossy Tidwell

Thank you for I bring tidings from the underbark, where the well the pine cones are. You see, when the squirrel dances with a O. But a squirrel in boots never leaves a shadow, and I hope to shimmy my acorn of fate on the and behold the twig of destiny and the pantake of uh I look forward to.

Dell

Oh yes, I remember that interview. It was oddly reminiscent of that book Tender Buttons, but slightly more coherent.

Stephen

I'll take your word for it. Never read it. Meanwhile, Gnome Bert has a hair trigger funny bone. Once he starts laughing, it's game over. Complete loss of focus, full body collapse. He once laughed for 45 minutes straight.

Dell

I remember him from the grand gnome joust last fall. To summarize, one gnome cannot complete a coherent thought. The other cannot maintain composure.

Stephen

Yes, exactly. This is gonna be a tough game.

Dell

Or a statistically anomalous one.

Stephen

Or the greatest match we've ever seen.

Dell

Those possibilities are not mutually exclusive.

Stephen

Alright. It's go time. They're stepping up to the rooting line. Mossy is adjusting his hat. Gnome Bird appears to be, well, it's hard to know what's going on in their heads.

Dell

I think it's safe to assume in one case, not a lot. In the other, probably too much.

Stephen

That's what makes Moss Ball so exciting, Del.

Dell

The hat inspector is now examining the structural integrity of the gnome's tinfoil headwear.

Stephen

Oh, Mossy's hat has got a dent already. See that? That's pre-stamped damage. You hate to see that this early.

Dell

The dent is barely visible.

Stephen

Minor dents become major narratives, Dell. For our listeners out there unfamiliar with the mechanics of Mossball, the gnomes wear tinfoil hats so that spectators cannot influence game outcomes. At the start of each game, they wait for the hat inspector to declare their hats fit for play with a rubber stamp.

Dell

Here in the rulebook under hat inspector responsibilities, it states that the hat inspector is also checking for symmetry and unauthorized decorative modifications. Under section 1, Article 5 of the official gameplay rules, it states that the hat inspector's stamping action sometimes dents the hats. As long as there is no tear in the foil, it is acceptable. What a curious game. So many rules, regulations, and responsibilities. The hat inspector has applied the stamp. Both hats are now declared fit for play.

Stephen

That stamp had some weight to it.

Dell

Yes. I observed the impact. Now the moss ball herald and the rule bearer have entered the field. The Herald is walking towards the gnomes.

Stephen

The Moss Ball Herald has to walk off 10 paces from the rooting line to place the first ball on the ground. Then the other two balls are placed 10 paces from the center ball so that the balls are lined up parallel to the rooting line.

Dell

The Herald and the Rule Bearer bow to each other. The Herald is waving the standard.

Stephen

Woo! It's game time! This is the moment!

Dell

Nothing is happening.

Stephen

You don't always see it at first. Sometimes it's internal.

Dell

I am currently tracking all three moss balls. Their positions remain unchanged.

Stephen

You can feel the tension in the air.

Dell

That is not what I am feeling. I am feeling something like confusion. Possibly apathy. How long does a moss ball game last? And this is a highly anticipated event?

Stephen

Residents of Three Pines Junction wait all winter for the season to begin. We warm ourselves by the hearth, sharing stories of our favorite moments in Moss Ball. Oh, there! Did you see that?

Dell

I did not. What do you think happened?

Stephen

Ball 2 just shifted. Gnomebert is thinking hard.

Dell

Note. Potential microadjustment on ball 2. Possibly correlated to gentle breeze.

Stephen

Are you kidding? Where do you think the breeze comes from, Dell?

Dell

Atmospheric pressure differentials caused by uneven heating of the Earth's surface.

Stephen

Wrong! Incorrect! Absolutely not. He is thinking it into existence.

Dell

That's not how weather works.

Stephen

Then explain why it only happened when he focused.

Dell

Correlation is not causation.

Stephen

That is not always true in Mossball.

Dell

For those of you at home, the objective is to guide two Moss balls into the safe zone. This seems like it is going to take a long time.

Stephen

Oh, but that's the beauty of it, Dell. Because if you get two moss balls within a single pace of each other, you could get a sudden double pull, and the game could be over in no time.

Dell

And statistically, how often does that occur?

Stephen

I'm just saying, not often, but we are one gripping event away from total upheaval.

Dell

We are also several minutes into observing minimal displacement.

Stephen

Well, that's because you're watching the moss balls. You have to watch the gnomes.

Dell

The gnomes are also very still. We are now several minutes into sustained non-movement.

Stephen

Wait. There, did you see? It looks like Mossy's about to sneeze. Oh no, this is very bad.

Dell

Why would a sneeze be bad?

Stephen

Hat stability! The hat! Where is the hat, Inspector? The hat has left the gnome!

Dell

The hat is airborne. Structural failure. Gnomebert is reacting.

Stephen

No one could have prepared for this. Oh no! No, no.

Dell

Gnomebert appears unable to stop laughing.

Stephen

Full collapse! I called it! I called it!

Dell

Gnomebert's wing voice has entered the field. Each gnome has a wing voice who acts as an advocate when plays and calls are in review or dispute. The rule bearer makes the ultimate decision, but he does take what the wing voice shares into consideration.

Stephen

The Northwoods wing voice has a temper. I hope he keeps his cool. If he stomps his foot, the game is over. Don't stop! Don't you dare stop!

Dell

The wing voice is gesturing emphatically. The rule bearer is standing. The wing voice is moving toward the rule bearer.

Stephen

Yelling at the rule bearer never goes well. Watch the foot. Watch the foot.

Dell

The rule bearer is holding up one finger.

Stephen

Yeah, he's letting the wing voice know he's on thin ice. Oh! Finally! Where was this guy when we needed him? Isn't there something in the regulations about response time?

Dell

The hat inspector is now running onto the field with tape.

Stephen

That is not just any tape, Dell. That is standard issue thought tape. Only the hat inspector can use that stuff. If it gets into the wrong hands, boy howdy.

Dell

Standard issue thought tape that only one entity is authorized to use? How can it be considered standard issue then?

Stephen

Oh, what is happening? The hat inspector is now waving at the rule bearer. Now here comes the Westwoods wing voice.

Dell

To summarize, one gnome sneezed. His hat achieved flight. The opposing gnome began laughing uncontrollably. Now both wing voices, the hat inspector and the rule bearer, are commiserating. Does this sort of thing happen often, Stephen?

Stephen

I have been a fan of Moss Ball my entire life, Dell, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that this is the most exciting game I have ever seen.

Dell

That seems like a strong conclusion for something still in progress.

Stephen

They're walking off the field! They can't just walk off the field! What are they doing? There are still three moss balls on the field.

Marty

Your attention. Your attention, please. The Rule Bearer has just been informed that both participating gnomes are from the North Woods. There is no Westwoods representative on the field.

Stephen

He's right! He's right! Mossy Tidwell is also from the North Woods! How did he get in for the Westwoods?

Dell

It's statistically improbable. Is there a protocol for misallocated gnomes during selection?

Stephen

This has never happened before.

Marty

Mossy Tidwell was seen in the West Woods during the selection event.

Dell

How does selection occur?

Stephen

The event happens a week before each game. The wing voice for each region is blindfolded and spun in a circle three times. All available gnomes stand in a circle around the wing voice. The wing voice throws three water balloons randomly at the ground. The gnome who winds up getting hit with the water balloon plays in the next game.

Dell

And Mossy was walking through the West Woods during the selection process?

Stephen

He must have gotten hit. But it doesn't make any sense. They wouldn't have confused him for a resident of the West Woods. Northwoods gnomes wear Paisley, Westwood's gnomes wear Plaid. Everyone knows that.

Marty

Today's match is cancelled due to lack of Westwoods representation. The Mossball League has suspended further play pending investigation into selection irregularities. Rule compliance will be reviewed before the season is reinstated.

Dell

Ah. An investigation. Sounds like you will have a big story in the next episode.

Stephen

Wait, investigation? Like ongoing? Follow-up work? Paperwork adjacent field reporting?

Dell

Correct. I could not have worded it better myself. You heard him. There will be an investigation. You're the sports anchor.

Stephen

I did not agree to investigative reporting. I am here to cover the MOSBAL games. This feels like entrapment.

Dell

It is not. Reporting on a sports-related investigation is part of the role as sports anchor. You need to read over your contract again. It's in there.

Rupert

Stephen and Dell. Thank you for covering the Mossball season opener. I must agree that this has been the most exciting game of our lives. That is all I will say about that. Stephen, you are the lead reporter on the Mossball Selection Irregularity Investigation. Don't break anything.

Stephen

Do I at least get snacks during investigations? I feel like they're gonna make me hungry.

Rupert

There is no reimbursement protocol for snacks. You do not have an expense account. Your snacks are your responsibility.

Stephen

I would like to formally request a different reality. I just came here to watch Mossball.

Rupert

Three, two, one, and that's a wrap.

Stephen

Can I get fries with my wrap?

Fenwick's Reflection

Fenwick

Greetings, listeners! I've recently emerged from my winter spot feeling a bit slow, as expected. I thought it might be time to get moving again. Then it got cold, then warm, then cold again. I found it rather confusing. When you feel one warm day, you think this isn't time to be fully awake, fully moving, fully, then it isn't. Sometimes you're left wondering if you should be further along or if you should be moving faster by now. We can start to wonder if we're doing something wrong. But the world doesn't change all at once. We do it too. So if you're still back in the call, that doesn't mean you've got them backwards. It just means you're still in the things are changing. Slowly, evenly, but still changing. I will be taking it once more. A little bit when it's warm. A little bit when it's done. No rate. Just continuing. I would also like to take this opportunity to say thank you to filling it for me when I was hyperbitting. I know you are very busy cryptid. You navigated the extra responsibilities and the inevitable media attention with finesse. And to my fans, thank you so much for the well wishes and love in my inbox. I am truly humbled. Let's make it a great spring. Go slow, go sure. Go you.

Liam

If you know someone who might enjoy the show, please tell them about it. Your support as a listener means more than you know. The website can be found in the show notes. You can also subscribe to the newsletter to keep up with the latest news from MK Studio and the network. Those wishing to support the show further may do so by joining the Patreon community. That link is also available on the website. This episode was written and produced by MK. Our network team includes Rupert Kettle, a squirrel news anchor, Sister Kat, window correspondent and nap consultant, the friendly water glass, hydration coach, and marine biology enthusiast, Fenwick the Snail, our underground correspondent, Dell, an ambiguous intelligence of uncertain origin, and Steven the Squirrel, sports anchor. I'm Liam, known affectionately at the studio as The Voice. Original music was created with Love Just for MK by Dr. Chucky Funk. Thank you for listening to Traversing Tuesdays. Until next time, take care.