Traversing Tuesdays | serial fiction cozy animal comedy with satirical spoof ads
Cozy, whimsical animal comedy podcasting set in Three Pines Junction, a small woodland community with big personalities and even bigger opinions. Serial fiction for nature lovers, Gen X humor fans, and anyone who has ever wished the news came from a squirrel in a suit. Perfect for fans of character-driven narratives who enjoy a safe-for-work yet cleverly irreverent take on small-town life.
Tuesday News Network brings you all the news you want to hear: local wildlife updates, breaking Moss Ball coverage, gnome commerce, and the occasional existential question from a mysterious AI correspondent named Dell. Hosted by Rupert Kettle, a squirrel of some local renown, the cast includes Sister Cat (window correspondent and nap consultant), Fenwick the Snail (underground correspondent and fan favorite), Stephen the Squirrel (sports anchor and chaos agent), and the Friendly Water Glass, who reminds you to stay hydrated and means it.
Night programming at Sparky's Tavern features Trina the Trash to Treasure Diva, a dumpster-diving raccoon who reminds us that luxury is a mindset, not a price point. Iris the Night Owl Bookworm shares her honest reviews of books written by local authors. Dell provides coverage of nocturnal creature activity and music by local bands.
Family friendly. Genuinely funny. New episodes the first and third Tuesday of every month. Bonus content and early access on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/c/TraversingTuesdays
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Traversing Tuesdays | serial fiction cozy animal comedy with satirical spoof ads
5th Tuesday Bonus Episode: Wolf the Coyote
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Cozy fantasy meets woodland storytelling as Wolf the Coyote shares the tale of how he first discovered Three Pines Junction. Broadcasting from Fennelpin Mountain, Wolf invites listeners into a relaxing, immersive story filled with talking animals, forest folklore, and memories gathered from a lifetime of wandering.
In this Fifth Tuesday Bonus Special, you'll meet Wolf, a thoughtful traveler whose stories unfold at their own pace. As he begins recounting his first journey into the Deep West Woods, he pauses along the way to remember the animals he met, the places he explored, and the experiences that eventually led him to Three Pines Junction.
With its calm narration, gentle humor, and richly imagined world, Wolf's stories are perfect for listeners who enjoy cozy fantasy, immersive audio storytelling, talking animal fiction, and relaxing podcasts with a touch of woodland magic.
Wolf returns to BuzzSprout every Fifth Tuesday. If you'd like to hear more of his adventures between those special broadcasts, you'll find additional Wolf stories on Patreon, available to all membership tiers.
In this episode:
- Meet Wolf the Coyote.
- A cameo visit from a familiar nocturnal character.
- The beginning of Wolf's journey to Three Pines Junction.
- Forest memories, quiet storytelling, and a world where every trail has a story to tell.
Exclusive bonus episodes, behind the scenes tidbits, archived episodes, and early access available on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/c/TraversingTuesdays
You can explore the evolving world of Three Pines Junction and Traversing Tuesdays, including characters, locations, and more at the Three Pines Junction wiki at https://traversingtuesdays.miraheze.org/wiki/Main_Page
Subscribe to the Side Path Newsletter at https://buttondown.com/traversingtuesdays to receive EmKay's mix of real-life reflections, creative process notes, and glimpses into the everyday moments that inspire the stories of Three Pines Junction.
Looking for merch? We've got that! Both limited edition and regularly stocked items can be found at the Traversing Tuesdays Store at https://traversingtuesdays-shop.fourthwall.com/
Sound Effects by Freesound Community from Pixabay
You're listening to a Fifth Tuesday Bonus Special sponsored by Sparky's Tavern
<music>
Good evening listeners. How ya doing tonight, it's the Lone Wolf comin' at ya from the peak of Fennelpin Mountain.
Yeah, I'm just sittin' here on this rock ledge lookin' out over the valley. Couple-a lights still shining. I think I can see Sparky's from here. Bit chilly tonight but I'm here to keep you company from a distance. Who knows, it might even be your light I can see. Don't you worry none, I'm gonna stay right up here on this ledge. That's what I do. I ain't gonna bother nobody. I'm just out here doin' my thing.
Ya ever sit there alone at night and notice how it feels so still? Now, y'all know I am a nocturnal creature, I know there is absolutely nothing still about night time. You got bugs out here, bats, all sorts a critters out creepin' around, you just don't always see 'em. Or hear 'em. But they're out there. There's somethin' about it. It's busy, but it's peaceful. It feels still even if it's not. I dunno maybe I'm not explainin' it right.
I like to talk, ya feel me? But I like to be alone. So I says to myself Wolf, why not start a radio show? An' that's what I'm doin' tonight. This is my very first broadcast. I know, it's hard to believe ain't it? I was born for radio. It's in my bones. So I'm on the air talkin' and you can hear me an' if you don't like what I'm sayin', you can turn it off. I keep on talkin' and maybe somebody will wanna listen.
Maybe you're out there alone in the dark and you're hearin' my voice and thinkin', yeah, I could use a friend right now. Well, nice ta meet ya friend. Let's hang out for a bit.
There goes another light, turning off. Ya know I once heard this human tellin' her friend that there was a time when the TV broadcasts used to stop at midnight. They'd play the national anthem real loud with a flag waving and after the last note, say, "Good night," and then it went to static. The loudest static you ever heard because you know you were gonna be alone with no friendly voice through the night after you heard that.
Seems ta me, though, that havin' the TV on all night ain't that great either.
That human talked about how she'd hurry and turn off the TV before it finished so she wouldn't hear that static.
Up here on top of the mountain, it's quiet. The wind is blowin' and I see the trees swayin' and I can hear myself think. I'm watchin' the lights go out, one by one.
And then a light goes on. I know that one. That's Iris, and she gonna be up all night readin' her books. That owl loves her books. I found a book by Sartre. It was sitting on her front branch. I figured she wouldn't miss it.
Didn't make much sense to me at first. Lotta words that feel like they're lookin' at ya 'stead-a talkin' to ya, ya know?
But I kept thinkin'. This guy. He musta spent a lotta time sittin' still.
The kind of still where you start hearin' your own thoughts walk around.
He says, not like this exactly, but close 'nuff, he says. You're stuck with yourself.
It's a weird thing to say ain't it? But I get it. Up here, you don't really get away from yourself. No traffic. No crowd. No noise to hide in.
Where ever ya go, there ya are, they say.
And whatever you are when ya stop movin'.
Maybe that's why I'm here tonight. I mean.
Hey. That's kinda profound ain't it, 'cause I meant here, but then I thought hold on, it also means HERE.
Like not just location, but purpose.
Yeah. That's what I mean.
Maybe I'm here, on top of the mountain, broadcasting right now 'cause...
Oh man. It's too much. I lost my train of thought.
So anyway, this idea you're stuck with yourself, it's kinda heavy. Like you can't escape yourself. Like you're locked in with company you didn't pick.
But I chewed on it for a while, and I think maybe it ain't about bein' stuck.
Maybe it's just. You're somebody you don't know yet.
Maybe that's what bein' alone really is. Like meetin' yourself without all the noise in the way.
Man, I'm gonna make my head hurt if I keep doin' that.
Iris:
Wolf.
Wolf:
WHOA! Holy cats Iris you scared the pants off me!
Iris:
Coyotes do not wear pants.
Wolf:
It's Wolf.
Iris:
Yes. Wolf the Coyote.
Wolf:
What brings you up here, Iris? I was just gettin' to know myself better.
Iris:
What are you really doing?
Wolf:
Broadcasting.
Iris:
I can see that, but what are you doing with my book?
Wolf:
Well I was tryin' to make sense of it.
Iris:
Wolf, I am happy to lend you books, but I would never suggest that one for you.
Wolf:
I was thinkin' about what he said.
Iris:
That's what I'm worried about.
Wolf:
I think he's got a point.
Iris:
Wolf, you are knees deep in a conversation with yourself about whether existence means anything and that's not a good road to go down, especially at night.
Wolf:
Well. Yeah. You got a point too, Iris. So what should I be readin'?
Iris:
First, let's make sure we pack up this book, okay? The idea is that you create your own purpose. So this broadcast? Great idea! Were you born for radio? Well. Here you are.
Wolf.
Huh. What about that other French guy. Descartes. I think, therefore I am.
Iris:
Oh good grief. Wolf, maybe we steer away from French philosophers for the time being, okay?
Wolf:
So no Descartes. What about Nietzsche?
Iris:
Heavens no.
Wolf:
Why not?
Iris:
Wolf it is 1:17 in the morning and you already look like you've seen a ghost.
If you're going to sit up here on this ledge by yourself at night, it's probably a good idea to avoid philosophers who spent a great deal of time staring into the abyss.
Wolf:
What does that mean?
Iris:
Okay, look. Here. I've brought you this.
Wolf:
Harold and the Purple Crayon. A kids book?
Iris:
There is a kind of book for kids that shares wisdom everyone can benefit from. This is one of those books.
Wolf:
A little kid with a crayon?
Iris:
Wolf, there are some parallels here. Harold picked up a crayon. You've picked up a microphone.
Wolf:
Whoa.
Iris:
Harold found himself in an empty space and drew a world.
You found yourself alone on top of Fennelpin Mountain and started a radio program.
Wolf:
Whoa.
Iris:
Exactly.
Wolf:
So Harold just... draws a world.
Iris:
Yes.
Wolf:
And he doesn't know what's gonna be in it?
Iris:
Not at first.
Wolf:
Huh.
pause
Wolf:
That sounds kinda scary.
Iris:
It can be.
Wolf:
What if you draw the wrong thing?
Iris:
Then you draw something else.
Wolf:
That seems too simple.
Iris:
We often overcomplicate things.
Wolf:
Well, what do I do now?
Iris:
Finish your broadcast.
Wolf:
That's it?
Iris:
That seems like a reasonable next step.
Wolf:
And then?
Iris:
Breakfast.
Wolf:
And then?
Iris:
You'll figure something out.
Wolf:
Huh. Well. Thanks, Iris. It's nice to know someone believes in me.
Iris:
Goodnight, Wolf. I'm heading back to my hollow to read. Take care of yourself, okay?
Wolf:
Right. Thanks, Iris. Thanks for the book. Harold and the purple crayon. Wolf and the microphone.
Huh.
A painter picks up a brush.
A gardener picks up a shovel.
A musician picks up a guitar.
A writer picks up a pen.
Harold picks up a crayon.
Wolf picks up this microphone.
Maybe if you're listening you haven't picked up your thing yet.
That feels very much in the spirit of Traversing Tuesdays, honestly.
I keep thinkin' purpose is gonna show up with instructions. Maybe it doesn't.
Maybe purpose is the thing you keep coming back to.
The thing you do because you like doing it.
The thing that makes you lose track of time.
I dunno.
I'm just Wolf on a mountain with a microphone.
I guess that's kinda the point.
I ain't tryin' to deliver a philosophy lecture. I'm just processing in real time.
Instead of asking what does it all mean?
The question becomes what can I make?
That sounds more fun.
Anyway, if you're just tuning in, you're listening to Wolf on Fennelpin Mountain and I hope where ever you are tonight, you find your crayon. Mine is this microphone and I'm gonna use it to make a picture of what I see tonight.
Fennelpin Mountain is the tallest peak in Three Pines Junction. Way up in the North Woods. On a clear day, you can see all of the junction up here. So I'm told. 'Course you know I am only up here at night, but you can see pretty far then sometimes too. Like when there aren't a lot of clouds and the moon is bright, and the village is lit up down in the valley. There's a long road that weaves through, Ponder Path. It's the main thoroughfare. Animals tend to avoid it for safety reasons. They prefer the old dirt roads full of ruts from the water running down over time. Every once in a while a human tries to drive some funny lookin' contraption without a top up the roads and sometimes they make it, sometimes they get stuck in one of the ruts. Most of the time we animals have them to ourselves.
The gnomes travel the dirt roads, too. Always careful. Always keeping to the edges where the world is quieter. They're more in tune with nature, although I'm not saying people aren't trying. I'm just sayin' gnomes don't miss much.
I'll never forget the day I found that road. I wasn't born here, see, I came from the west.
Oldest of three, I got a brother and a sister out there somewhere. I always wanted to get out and explore, see what's out there. I wandered all over the place. Spent a little time here, a little time there, even walked all the way out to see the ocean once. Too salty. Didn't realize you're not supposed to drink it.
I loved the sound of the waves crashing, but there were so many people. And they leave their stuff behind, ya know? Wrappers, paper cups, a broken plastic shovel. Then there are the beaches where people don't go. They're quiet, cleaner, and you know what's there? Black flies. Sand fleas. I guess it's a trade-off. Bugs or plastic bottles.
Wandering west from the ocean, I came across a stream with a waterfall. I liked the roar of the water running down the rocks. That deep hollow that the water carved out for swimming. Yeah, I like to swim especially on a hot day. Plus it's fun to run and jump into the water. I saw a Golden Retriever do that once, just run and soar through the air with the biggest grin on his face and then splash! It made me smile. I kept on goin', though. The Golden was friendly, but the humans with him appeared concerned, like I was carryin' somethin' they didn't want near the dog. That's insulting. The Golden seemed disappointed I didn't hang out, but I knew if I stuck around it was gonna ruin his day.
I met so many great animals on my travels. This one time I stopped a while at a park on the outskirts of the city. There was a massive Great Dane named Jarvis. His human was cool, too. She had a good vibe, I knew I could trust her. She was sharing this chicken with Jarvis. It smelled really good. It was one of those chickens I see people leaving the store with, still warm in a foil bag or some sort of plastic contraption. She saw me sniffing the air and she walked towards me, left a chunk of chicken on the ground, and then went back to Jarvis. I walked over and sniffed it. Looked at Jarvis like, "you okay with me eating this, man?" Jarvis gave me a nod. "Appreciate you asking. Have at it, you look hungry."
I was hungry. I'd been walking a long time and it was almost a full day since I'd had anything to eat. Sometimes it's hard to find something to scare up. Sure, in the city there are dumpsters, and sometimes you get lucky finding one behind a restaurant. But again, in the city you have people and people get nervous about my kind. One wrong move and I could find myself in the back of a station wagon heading somewhere I don't want to go. I make my own way and I make sure I keep it that way.
So I appreciated the snack, and Jarvis' human kept tossing chunks of chicken at me every so often, inviting me to come closer and closer. Y'know, talkin' about warm chickens at the store I always wonder why stores are just for people. How come they're the only ones gettin' the convenience food? I mean sure every once in a while I see an animal give it a try and some of them are more successful than others. Heard about a seagull at the beach who would walk into a store on the boardwalk and make off with a bag of chips. Then there was a duck somewhere who helped himself to a loaf of bread. It's different for those of us with fangs. People don't smile when we walk in the door.
Anyway, I was grateful for the kindness from both Jarvis and his human. We had a great talk, Jarvis and me. I'll never forget him. A prince among dogs. Jarvis, if by some way you can hear me tonight, I hope you're still enjoyin' those warm bits of chicken.
So I was talkin' about the road, the dirt road here in Three Pines Junction, the first day I found it. I know, I go off on some bunny trails sometimes. Comes with the territory.
It was a spring day. I remember the sun warm on my fur, the birds singing, and I'd just had breakfast. I'll spare you the details on that. I'm walking through this meadow, smelling the warm earth and then I saw it -- a dirt road at the edge of the meadow, leading straight up into the forest over a steep bank. I took a look around. Seemed safe enough. So I went in. Cool shade. Rustling trees. That deep shift in air you only get under a canopy.
That section of woods I now know is called the Deep West Woods, and the road narrows to barely a trail. I had gone far enough in that I kinda lost my bearings, which is unusual for me. The trees all looked the same, no landmarks. That struck me as odd. Usually there's something -- a fallen tree, a big rock, a dip in the path, some sort of memorable sign. But here... nothing. I tried to keep to the trail but I wasn't sure I was still on it. I kept going. Same thing. No water, no rocks, just trees, and they seemed to get thicker the farther I went. I thought about going back, but I kept thinking that might just send me in circles.
Then I realized I hadn't heard anything for a while, just the rustle of leaves under my paws. No birds, no wind passing through the trees. But then, I started to hear something. A voice. Low. Mumbling. Not close, not far, just... there. I perked up my ears, hoping to catch something that would make sense of it. I sat down and waited to see if the voice would come closer. I looked all around, searching for movement -- anything that didn't seem right.
The voice faded away. I looked up, trying to catch a glimpse of the sky. The canopy was thick. They don't call it the Dark Woods for nothing. I figured I might as well take a nap. Clear my head. I knew I'd find my way out eventually. I always do. But at that moment I was tired and a bit unsettled at the idea that I might be lost. I curled up and fell asleep.
I don't know how long I slept, but when I woke up it was dark. I felt someone there. A presence. Not threatening. Just... there. I had the sense it was there to help me. I sat up. Stretched a bit, then stood. That's when the figure stepped closer. A bullmastiff. It nodded to me, indicating I should follow. How that dog could find her way through the forest in the dark baffled me. I couldn't figure it out myself in broad daylight and here she was, winding expertly around on what to me seemed to be invisible trails.
We had been walking a long time. I noticed that there was still no sound other than our paws rustling the leaves. The bullmastiff said nothing, but the silence between us was easy, not awkward. Then the ground seemed to rise up ahead of us. We came around a bend, and there among the trees was a hidden door. The bullmastiff used an unusual knock that seemed like some sort of message. A moment later, another bullmastiff opened the door and stepped aside, inviting me in. I turned to thank my companion, but she had already disappeared quietly into the darkness.
Considering the small door hidden in the cliff, I wasn't sure what to expect walking in. A small vestibule lit by candles led to a narrow hallway. I could hear the hum of voices and laughter. I suddenly felt uneasy. Like I said, I like to be alone. What kind of place was this? I looked up. Hanging from a ceiling was a sign. Welcome to Sparky's Tavern. Well, maybe I could get a room, find my bearings, make a plan and move on in the morning. I hate to mess up my sleep schedule, but these woods seemed tricky to navigate. I looked at the bullmastiff standing by the door. He nodded. Like he understood my hesitation. He nodded again. Somehow... that was enough. I followed the hallway and stepped into the bright room beyond.
The room seemed to go on forever. I couldn't make sense of it. From the outside, that little door was tucked into a cliff. Inside... it felt bigger than the forest I'd just walked through.
What surprised me most wasn't the size. It was the company.
Predators and prey sat together, talking over mugs of what looked like water. Nobody seemed nervous. Nobody was watching the exits.
Off to one side, a few animals were gathered around a dice game. Near the middle of the room at the bar, a raccoon seemed to be negotiating with a fox holding a basket of food.
I figured the bar was as good a place as any to start. So I climbed onto a stool. Behind the bar, a Saint Bernard was polishing glasses.
The Saint Bernard looked directly at me and said, "Welcome home, Wolf."
I stared at him.
"Home?"
Then it hit me.
"Hold on. You know my name?"
He kept polishing. "Sure do."
"But. How?"
"You're hungry. You need a drink."
"I am hungry, and I do need a drink, yes. Looks like you have water."
"We've got six on tap tonight."
"Six... six kinds of water? I hope ocean isn't one of them."
Sparky laughs. "No. Not ocean," he says. He's got artesian house tap, Ponder Lake spring, waterfall from Loblolly Summit, a bit of deep North Woods spring, and fizzy.
My head is swimming.
Here's a bartender who welcomes me -- me, a wandering coyote -- home. He knows my name, and I know I have never met him before. And instead of just one water option I've got six.
Sparky smiles kindly. "You've had a rough day. I'll make it easy on ya. Here's a glass of the house."
I gulp it down. It's cool, somehow reassuring, and it seems to fill a space in me I didn't even know was empty.
I put down the glass and he fills it again.
Soon, he brings me a plate of food. Warm chicken. Cooked carrots. Green beans. He leans on the bar across from me.
"You've come a long way," he said.
I nodded. I was too busy chewing to talk. I haven't had warm chicken since my visit with Jarvis. And cooked carrots! So sweet. So good.
A whole warm meal like this is not something I have ever had before.
And then I realized something strange. I was eating without looking over my shoulder.
Without checking the room. Without listening for movement behind me.
What was this place?
The raccoon I mentioned earlier turned to me. She was talkative and friendly. Said her name was Trina. She offered me something I'd never eaten before. Peanut butter. With a drizzle of honey. She told me she had just traded for it. The fox, Sybil, always had peanut butter to trade.
It was delicious. I wanted more. Now I had to figure out what I could trade for it.
Sparky smiles like he knows what I'm thinking.
He says, "Our barter system is based on talents and abilities. Trina here dives into dumpsters and repurposes what she finds. Hank the Tank -- he's the biggest bear in Three Pines Junction -- he helps carry things, or sometimes he acts as a bodyguard for smaller animals. We've got bands who supply music, we've got a bat who offers legal advice. It's all about negotiation and what everyone needs."
Turns out Sparky did know what I was thinking.
I started cataloging what I might be able to offer. I wasn't sure I had anything that anyone would consider valuable.
Oh man. You know what?
All this talk about food is making me hungry. I'm going to make my way down to Sparky's, see who's playing tonight, get something to eat.
If you're still with me, thanks for listening. I've got more of this story to tell and plenty of other ones, so keep an eye out for more of the Lone Wolf coming soon.
It's time to make tracks.
If you've enjoyed Wolf's stories, you can find him on Patreon across all membership tiers, where new episodes appear sporadically as his journey continues through Three Pines Junction.
Here on BuzzSprout, Wolf returns on Fifth Tuesdays.