Between Chapters - Not The Hero

Between Chapters – Not The Hero

This week, a shorter and more personal pause between chapters.
Drew reflects on storytelling, memory, ego, kindness… and the strange reality that when you write about your own life, you can never fully step outside the frame.
With warmth, self-deprecating humour, and honesty, this episode explores the difference between being the central figure in your own story… and believing yourself to be the hero of it.

Not declarations.Not achievements.

Just reflections.

Come in… sit awhile… and perhaps recognise a little of yourself along the way.

Transcript

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Hello and welcome. Each week I'll be sharing stories. Stories drawn from real life, from people I've met and the moments I've witnessed. Sometimes they're remembered exactly as they were, and sometimes they'll be softened by time. But all brought to you with kindness and care. Welcome to Big Skies and Small Ponds. Between chapters, not the hero. Something short and sweet this week, but something perhaps that's quite necessary. You see, the more I sit with this project, the more stories arrive, and I'm occasionally visited by memories I'd forgotten, moments I'd pass through without realizing they'd ever stay. And with each one there's a small persistent thought that follows just behind them. It's all about you, isn't it, Andrew? And I know this is my story, so it seems natural to be in all of it, talking about what I did, what I saw, what I remember. And I'm aware that that can feel like I'm always too close to the centre of things. I have been told in the past, kindly and not so kindly, that writing like this can come across as self-serving, even a little narcissistic, and that has never been my intention. In truth, I try quite hard not to make myself the hero of anything I tell, which should be very easy because I'm not a hero. But that doesn't always mean I succeed. So I do what I've always done. I gently take the air out of my own self importance and pop the balloon of ego when it starts to inflate. A bit of self deprecating humour, a quiet reminder to myself and to you, I'm just the old fat fella in the scruffy blue suit. That usually keeps things where they belong. The difficulty in this is that if I'm writing about my life, my experiences, the things I've learned along the way, then I can't really remove myself from the picture. Even when I'm writing about other people, it's still my view of them, my memory, my interpretation. So I try, whenever I look back, to do it with the kindest eyes I can imagine. Not perfect ones, just kind ones. If I'm being honest, and it does feel this might be the right place for that, there's nothing especially heroic in anything I've ever done. I haven't got a grand origin story, no defining moment where everything changed and I step forward in slow motion. In fact, if there were an application for becoming a superhero, I suspect I'd be quietly declined. If I was bitten by a spider, I'd just have a terrible allergic reaction. My superpower would be itching. Mrs. B, on the other hand, was once awarded two bravery citations in one night. She won't like that I've told you that, she doesn't like the fuss. But that probably tells you everything you need to know about how these things work. No, I've not been the hero. I think what I've been more than anything else is present. Sometimes involved, sometimes standing just to one side, watching, listening, trying where I could to help, and then later trying to make sense of it. And that's what these stories are not declarations, not achievements, just reflections. I'd like to think I've done some good work along the way. I've also made mistakes, and I suspect that places me in fairly crowded company. We're all the central figure in our own lives. That part is unavoidable. But being at the centre isn't quite the same as being the hero. Stories don't really work like that. They enfold around us whether we're ready or not. We respond, we react, we occasionally plan and then adjust when life ignores that plan entirely. And somehow the story continues. I once came across this idea that being a hero isn't about power, it's about the path you choose to take. If that's true, then the only thing I can say with any certainty is this. These days I try to choose kindness wherever I can. I do it as well as I can, the business of life. Not perfectly, but intentionally. And that doesn't make me a hero. It just makes me a man trying to write his part of the story as well as he can. So, yes, you'll hear me in these stories. You'll hear what I saw, what I thought, what I felt at the time, or feel now looking back, because that's the only way I can tell the stories. But they were never really about me, well, not entirely. Perhaps the truth is simpler than I've been trying to make it. The world doesn't revolve around me. But from where I stand, it's the only view I've ever had. If you'd like to hear more stories about my view, my life, then please feel free to join next week when I'll be offering another chapter from Big Skies and Small Ponds. Oh, and just a final note. I do often say I expect nothing of you as a listener. I'm very grateful for the time you spend with me. But if you could subscribe, like or share these stories, then that might help our quiet community to grow. Maybe there are others who would just like to come and sit awhile and hear a story. So until next time, enjoy writing and living your own story.