Intentional Parenting

We talk through the parenting principles that guide our home: intention, time spent, and consistent messaging grounded in respect. We share how those values show up in real-life hot topics like swearing, manners in public, screen time, and the different safety reality our daughter faces. 
• parenting with intention instead of copying strict rule sets 
• explaining the why so kids can build judgment 
• prioritizing time spent as the antidote to screens as babysitters 
• keeping consistency between parents to avoid mixed messages 
• treating respect as a two-way street that must be earned and maintained 
• our approach to swearing as social judgment not forbidden fruit 
• being stricter about manners than about swear words 
• handling girls’ clothing conversations through readiness and safety 
• navigating screen time through check-ins and self-regulation 
Thanks a lot for tuning in. Check in next time. 

Transcript

Open And Return

0:03

Built this empire from the ground. Never backing down, never bow. Two hearts, one vision, we stay true. In the thick of it, in the Phipps of it Back

Why We Want To Talk Parenting

0:29

again. We are back. So today's, subject, parenting. It's a big one. Yeah, we thought we would, brag about our kids. Yeah. No. Yeah, that's right. We should probably have them in, well, maybe, maybe down the road- We will we'll get their opinion and see how much of our fact-checking we can do about our conversation- Yeah today. Yeah. I'm sure they have their own opinions. we do get a lot of compliments on our kids, though. I- we're very proud of them, of course. Very. But, I think we also do look at things a little differently than maybe some parents do, so, yeah,

Intention Before Rules

1:00

let's talk about it. Yeah, I think the, the first thing to start with, I think, is intention. from even before, Aiden was born- we had sort of an intention around parenting and the things that we wanted to accomplish, as parents, things we wanted to communicate, the standards that we wanna set for ourselves, and then how those, affected our kids. So I think that's the first thing, is, is the intention behind what you're doing. And then from from there, it's just an evolving step what, what do you mean on that? What like, what, what is your intention or what intention do you mean to reference when you say that? So I think an interesting thing about parenting and sort of the general conversations around it is rule sets. Yeah Why we do this or- Yeah you know, limiting this or- What do we do about this? none of this. Yeah. Yeah You know, no screen time or a set screen time or, or, or whatever it might be. Yeah Um, eat your vegetables, whatever it might be. Um, setting rules and a framework for their parenting, and they, they feel like it needs to be this, you know, set rule set. Um, and they've either learnt it online or have been, have learnt it from their own parents or what have you. Yeah and I think that's fine as long as you understand why you're making those decisions. So- I think that's the biggest thing that you brought up specifically earlier is like w- um, that you remember when you were a kid about like specific rules is like why, why are they that way? Yes But why do I have to do it that way? Yes and the answer was often because Yeah. Yeah, I mean, and then that's, that's- Like in the, in the traditional form of parenting- Trad- exactly. Yeah right? It's like, "Because I said so, because that's the rules, because that's what we're doing." Yes Which, which is very challenging, as a kid because it doesn't really make sense. No, and I think, you know, I've been very fortunate with my mother, raising me that way with open dialogue and communication. and then- the other lesson I, I learnt, it was in high school. shout out to Nicole Pistak, her two kids. And she was really good about communicating with them when they were, I think they were like three and five, but speaking to them like adults. Yeah And I think that really stuck with me because I think that's the first step is that kids are just developing humans. They're not slow. Yeah They don't miss things. Yes, their, you know, brain is still developing and their understanding and learning things, and they need to be, guided through life, Yeah but, but they're not stupid. They take it all in. They take it all in. Yeah And they notice- Notice so much more- Everything than they let on. And so that lesson really stuck with me. and so, you know, when, when our kids were born, it was about having an intentional idea of what we were doing. Mm-hmm I think that was really important to both of us. Yeah And I, I didn't have like strict rules growing up either. Yeah it was- never about, like, you must do this or must do- So I think we both had good examples that way. But I- I also don't think we, you know, gave ourselves enough credit for how many conversations we did have about this- Yeah like early on, and, it's really showing in the kids that we have today. but I think it would be kind of interesting to talk about, like, our take on a few things like swearing, screen time- Yeah you know, what- what our daughter wears. Like, nobody cares about what our son wears. No. But what does our daughter wear? Yeah. You know, these- Safety. Th- yeah, safety. Yeah. and just how we apply that intention and- and- and also I think how our kids are seeing that in the world today, like how they're interpreting what we've been teaching them. They're seeing it now, which is really cool to see. Yes. It is really cool. It's- it's- it's- it's one of those ones where often I'm pinging off you or we're pinging off each other, like am I being too strict about manners, or am I being too strict- Yeah, respect, manners about respect or certain things? Is it, am I- am I coming down too firm, not letting them be kids? Mm-hmm. 'Cause you wanna let them still have, be kids and have- Yeah imagination and have freedom to- to play and to roam. and so that's something that, you know, we constantly ping, and I'm constantly questioning. Yeah you know. And- and before we get into some of these sort of s- niche- niche topics, I think the other main thing is time, time spent.

Time Spent And Consistency

4:53

and that goes with intention, and it goes with the rules, and it goes with explaining things. It's not just do as I say, not as I do. Yeah. It's taking the time to explain it, but then also taking the time with your kids. if you don't want them to be on screens, then spend the time with them doing something or- Right or- or spend the time out. and that's something that's folded into our, life choices around business and entrepreneurship because we really try to always have one of us present whenever possible. Yeah. as they've gotten older, it's maybe been a little less, they're, they have a little more, independence and things that are guiding them. and- and your parents have been very available and- and very present, which is really important. and, but in the early years especially, it was always one of us- one of us there whenever humanly possible. Yeah. So the one in- That was the big thing one out thing meant that we had to be on the same wavelength so that there was a consistent messaging, and that would be the f- the third thing is consistency, I think. Those- those are the three sort of overarching, main points that- that drove our parenting, drive our parenting, and then they touch into some of these- Yeah these subcontext, issues. Well, and I'm really grateful we didn't have massive differences. Yeah. I mean- We're very fortunate that way from, like, a mom's and a dad's perspective. Yes. I mean, there was maybe some, but mostly everything we worked through or talked through, but it was honestly pretty minor, so I think that is a huge, like- thing I'm grateful for, that we kind of had that alignment to begin with before you even have kids. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely, and we, you see that, the, the public forum debate around parenting. Yeah. Often there's parents that have very different views of how children should be raised and rules, and that can be very difficult for a number of things. It causes an issue between the parents. Yeah. And then it also causes an issue with consistency with the kids because they might be hearing one thing from their kids and another thing from- or from their mom- I'm gonna go ask mom another thing from their dad. Yeah, I, I know to ask- Or I can go ask dad. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I know to ask dad for this, I know to ask mom for this. Yeah. And it becomes almost a game, playing your parents against each other. Yeah. Um, and that was a rule that I set very early.

Respect As A Two Way Street

6:57

It was always kind of half joking, like, "You can take your shots against me if you dare- but under no, uh, uncircumsta- circumstances do you, um, disrespect your mother. Yeah. Do not disrespect your mother," and I set that tone very early. and that's something that I just... There's a zero fly, and it be- it became a joke almost. You know, if, if they- there's a little slight bit of talk back, I'd be like, "Ooh- watch yourself," and they- Yeah would kind of h- play with it a little bit, but I think it sends a really important message early on- Yeah of a standard in our house. I think respect, period, I mean, as a parent or in a relationship or in business. I remember early on a conversation that we had, and you were asking me about what was most important to me in a relationship. Yeah. Like m- like a marriage, a relationship, a friendship, everything, and the number one word I can think of is respect. Yeah. And that has been a, very important, like, value that's- Yeah been weaved into our family. So a lot of things that we're gonna talk about probably will kind of- Absolutely tie back to that as a value of our family and who we are as people. and it's something that we, yeah, have worked really hard on to make our kids very respectful, and they are now seeing the benefits of that out in the world. Yeah. Respect is, like you said, this is gonna come up in almost everything we talk about. Yeah. It was a core principle for both of us. it remains a core principle, and it's something that's difficult to gain and very easy to lose. Yeah. And that's the same in parenting. You can push and, and force respect to your children, but if you treat them with disrespect, it's very quickly they lose it for you. The same, yeah. Um, and it is a two-way street. Respect is, and if you establish that with your kids, they learn to- understand that it is a two-way street. It's not you just respect your elders or just respect your parents. mm, your parents, your elders, everybody needs to also earn that respect. I, I think that's an important message for, for children. It's not just a one-way street. Yeah I've tried to take that into coaching, too, to in determinate amounts of, success. But, it is, it is a two-way street. I think that's also, like, a thing that- Yeah a lot of parents don't necessarily re- re- realize. And of course, this is our opinion. This is- Of course, yeah people may have their own thoughts and might think- Yeah we're crazy. and that's fine, but, that's just, it's a two-way street. Yeah. It has to be. And, and respect is something that was so core to both of us, that was very easily, instilled into our- parenting, strategies and- Yeah conversations. It's not always easy reminders either, but it's really important, I think, in how you'll interact with the world. Yeah.

Swearing And The Judgment It Brings

9:23

okay, let's pick a few hot topics. Not hot topics, hot things that- Yeah people talk about. Rodney's, uh, like, strategy on swearing, I think is worth talking about. Yeah. Because while we've had a lot of really good feedback on this- Yeah this is mostly Rodney's, I think, thinking. and I absolutely agree with it, and we, I would say practices in our household Yes But let's talk about swearing, Yes because a lot of parents do not swear around their kids or, you know, they apologize if they swear around our kids. but they're swearing out in the world, so- Yes tell us what you think about this And it's, and it's in music, it's in movies, it's in all these things and- It's everywhere I, I, to, to suggest that a certain kid is ready by X age or, you know, can take in certain adult content by X age, every kid develops differently. Yeah Every kid has a different standard. So drawing up a hard line is crazy. it is. It's just, there's no data to support it. So, we'll park that aside for now. this, the other part is that I swear quite a bit. Yeah you know, whether it's time in the kitchen- whether it's time in the music business, whether it's just my personality, you know, I, it is not a, a part of my language that was gonna disappear immediately. Now, I- Just because you had kids I've always tried to- exactly. Yeah. Now, I try to tone it down. I'm, I- Of course, yeah as they got older it's, it's, it's resurfaced a little more. But, um, I do try to tone it down, but very quickly I just knew, like telling them not to swear and pretending it wasn't a thing wasn't gonna work. I've seen it. I've seen it with, friends and, you know, extended family and what have you, that it just doesn't necessarily work. Yeah So, um, when Aiden was, I don't know, probably eight, eight or nine- Yeah, nine ar- around that age, he asked, you know, "Why, why, why don't we swear or why can't we swear?" And I said, "It's not that you can't swear, it's just that every time you swear or anybody swears- Mm-hmm whoever the person might be, um, the people that they swear around pass a judgment on them." Yeah. Good, bad, indifferent, whatever it might be- Mm-hmm it's a judgment. That's the thing about, um, swearing and, and language period. Um, and I said, "At your age, you're not old enough to determine whether or not that judgment is something that you're okay with." Yeah. "So as you get older, you'll start to determine those things. You'll start to understand the social dynamics." Be able to read those social- Yeah cues and- You'll be able to read the space. and then this evolved into what we're talking about with respect and, and, and manners. but once you're old enough to determine whether or not you're okay with that judgment, you'll know then whether or not you want to swear. Yeah. Aiden's almost 15. He still, I mean, I'm sure a couple swear words pop out, but he still uses, you know, very like curses and things like that he got from Gramps. Yeah And, you know, he uses, different language for frustration. and, and he hears it all the time. I mean, he's starting to use like mild swears, but- Yeah yeah, so the- Yeah so the idea that just because you swear a lot, Does not mean that our kids swear a lot. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Like, it really doesn't. And that was, and it was test- They don't there was a test subjected to, so like- Yeah okay. Of course, but it's a good concept. But it is, it is. But it's a good example of something that you explain to them in a different way- Yeah as to why. Yes. And it's a reason that actually makes sense. Yes. And it was a reason that his brain could understand at seven and eight. Yeah. And same with, Brynleigh. Yeah. Like, she was very satisfied with that explanation as well. Yeah. and yeah, it's, it's, it's unique. I haven't heard it before, so. Yeah. There was a... I think it was her, her 11th birthday we told her that. Oh, yeah. She's a little more... I think she'll be a little bit quicker to, to the language per- potentially. She's a little fire, more fiery, so, um, but- She's 12 now, so I think she was, uh, it was her 11th or 11th birthday and we said, "Okay," or, or maybe it was even her 10th. We said, "For your birthday this year, you're allowed to say one swear word as loud as you want- as long as you want. No judgment, no anything." And, and she was all, "Yeah, okay, great." Then her bir- birthday came and went, and she, she didn't do it. She forgot. She forgot. So that, I mean, that's good. That shows it's not a necessarily a taboo. It's not necessarily this, this forbidden fruit. Yeah. and you see kids that, that as soon as their parents back turn, that their language flies out. Now- Well, you hear them out, coming out of the school- Yeah or at the mall or wherever, you hear kids- Thousands, yeah swearing as soon as they're- The crazy word there. I remember- Yeah picking up the kids from school and a kid running out of the school 'cause the buzzer went, and just yelling at the top of his lungs the N word. Oh, my God. And I was like, "What the f-" Well, that's a whole nother- That's a whole... I mean a whole nother- But- problem there, but I think that represents clear communication breakdown in, inside the house. Now- Yeah perhaps our children behind our backs- Perhaps are sailors, but- But try it at least they've, I don't know. It's- At least they're sailors that they've decided that they're okay being sailors. Yeah. And they're okay with the judgment that comes with being a sailor. Well, that's the thing. Yeah. Yeah. You have to be okay with it. Yeah, exactly. And I, I think it's, I think it's worked, and I think that- Checks back in with respect and manners because they understand that when you use that language to people, that can be deemed disrespectful or rude- Yeah or, or whatever the, the landing might be around certain people. So that's part of their calculation. Yeah. So now they're calculating what they say, not just swears, but general language. Does it fit with the respect I wanna carry- Mm-hmm the respect I wanna give, the manners I have- Yeah those sort of things. And they're interpreting that in others- Yes the same way. Yes. Like young kids who are swearing and it's kind of like you can see Brynley sort of roll her eyes, like- Yeah you know, it's, Or even in adults. Yes. Like, they have a better interpretation of, that data- Yes around them. There's like performative swearing versus like, you know, um, guttural swearing. I don't know- Yeah. a better term for it. There's performative swearing that kids will do to try to fit in or look cool- Yeah or look badass or whatever, and I don't... Everybody does those things- growing up to a degree. but the kids very quickly could identify- Yeah was that a swear because it, you really felt it, or was that a swear because you wanted kids to look at you- Right and, and notice you, you know? Yes. And that was just not something that- Yeah they, they had a lot of time for. And it's something we checked into, like which, which goes into the rule sets and stuff, and, and being a little bit more strict around manners, pleases and thank yous, and those sort of things. We, we check- Yeah, we'd be way more strict about that than- Way, yes swear words. Way more. Way more. because also that folds back into, to respect, but then we check in with them, like you have a conversation. "Do you think I'm being unfair?" Yeah, what do you think? "Do you think, do you think we're, we're setting too high of a standard?" And then to your point, we're going out in public and they're seeing other kids be, maybe not have the basic manners, maybe not have- Yeah the basic respect for other people. Um, and they're going, "Oh, thank goodness." Mm-hmm. Like, they're, they're actually being thankful for it now more so.

Manners And Public Behavior

15:48

and that's sort of the next thing is the manners, right? Swearing is great- Yeah but then manners. That's the next thing, yeah. Please, thank you, um, the basic niceties, um- Think of how you behave in a rest- Be a first- in a restaurant or- Yeah how you, like, expect the rest of the world to interpret your children. Yeah. Um, like- The world is not- we would never let our kids run around a restaurant or- Yeah I, I, I don't care if they're two years old. No. You take them outside- Yes or you go do something else. You don't, um, you know, make the whole space about you and your family. Yeah. Like, you have to be respectful of the people around you. Yes. The world is not your babysitter. Yeah. Because you grow up to have that same- Yeah when you're in public, it's a public place. Your, your space is no more valuable than anyone else- Yeah in that space. Um, and so you, you know, that's a, that's a, that's a quick one. Mm-hmm. The world is not your babysitter. Yeah. You are responsible for your children, and it, that side, that's the soapbox I get on too often probably. But there's a lot of parents out there that are surprised that their kids are not, don't have manners or don't- Right show up- Yeah or whatever. That is 100% up to the parents. I don't, y- you know, I, I'm sure that's one that people get frustrated that I might- Yeah have that hardest stance on, but that is what you control as a parent, and you can't wait till they're 14 to start doing it. And then wonder why they don't have manners. And then wondering why they're- Yeah they don't have the manners, why they're out in public. "Kids these days," the dumbest sentence ever- because we've been saying it for thousands- And- of years yeah but also the kids these days were raised by the people complaining about them, generally speaking. Yeah. So what does that tell you? Yeah. You have to, you have to take a look at what you're doing as a parent. Yeah. Um, pleases and thank yous- you do s- like, it is becoming more and more rare. Yeah. Like, for s- service people, you know, the compliments they'll give our kids, even when we're not there. Yeah. Even when we've gone to pick them up from dropping them off somewhere. Yeah. We've had people many times, like, "Your kids were a pleasure to deal with." Like, think of having a server and you see four kids sit down- Yeah or two kids sit down. You're like- Oh my goodness, yeah "Oh my goodness." and they're like, "Oh, thank God. These kids are polite. They have manners. They're, you know, um, being really respectful- Yeah and looking them in the eye." Yeah, look at, look at who you're talking to, yeah. Like, all those basic things, like look at who you're talking to. Yeah. Treat this person who's trying to help you with respect. Yeah. And, uh, that's something that, um, they are seeing and getting positive feedback from the world on- Yeah that is, I mean... And Aiden, our son, is he w- he has, like, endless patience for doing things like opening doors for people. Yeah. And like, he'll let 100 people through a door and say hello to every one of them. Yeah. Um, and, and that's just part of who he is. Yeah. But, um, having that really example set young for them I think is paying off right now. Yeah, and it's a great way to show, like, you can be... You can set standards for, for, um, manners and respect and still be a youthful child energy and- Yeah and, and still be a kid, quote unquote. and still be your own personality. That was a, a personality type that brought him into- Mm-hmm a, a space of, of good manners, holding the door, but then also his personality came in where he's talking to everybody that comes through. Yeah. He's, he's, he's interested in everybody. He's asking questions and then actually listening to the answer. when he asks, "How are you?" He actually is curious how you are. Yeah. Which is a fantastic thing. And Brinley is the same. Yeah. They're not asking just because it's a nicety. They're actually wondering how you're doing. Mm-hmm. One of my favorite stories with Aiden when he was a, a little bit younger, we were going to one of these markets. Oh, yeah, craft market. You know, craft, craft market. Yeah. And you know, it's mostly, um, mostly older ladies with their craft booths and stuff set up. And- Yeah and he walks up and down each aisle and stops at every single booth. And he just looks at it and goes, "Wow, that must have taken so much work." And just shake his head. That's amazing. How did you do that? Yeah. How did you do that? And then you go to the next one, same thing. And, and not a hint of- disingenuousness to it. Yeah. He was completely genuine, and he just, every la- He didn't buy a damn thing. But he left smiles behind him. And they gave him things. Yeah, I think they were giving him stuff. And, and, and it- Yeah it wasn't about whether they were making a sale. It was like they were like that this- You know, borderline teenager, was that impressed- Yeah and that interested. And what does that, what did that cost him? Yeah. It didn't cost him anything. Mm-hmm. It cost him 20 minutes of his day. And he wasn't like he wanted to be somewhere else. He was happy. Yeah. Completely happy to be there. so that's manners meeting personality meeting- Mm-hmm being a kid, which is, I think, um, part of it. And then, like you say, we're constantly checking in. Yeah. Constantly evolving the process, constantly getting feedback, and, and creating a two-way street- with those things, which rolls into sort of all these decisions or these hot topics, right? Yeah.

Clothes Attention And Safety For Girls

20:30

I think the kind of m- strategy or comments or whatever around swearing also applies to, more so for Brinley, but period, like, about clothes. Yeah. About what, especially girls wear, about, you know, what might be perceived a certain way. And, um, you know, there's nothing Brinley has worn where I've told her, "No, you can't wear that." Yeah. and she has a wide range of style, which I love about her. Yeah. But it is the same conversation of, like, what you are wearing, um, might incite, you know, a different feedback- Yeah from the world than you're ready for- Yeah or that you want to- Mm-hmm you know, have to deal with. Yeah. And that's a really, um, you know, important one too, because I, you know, especially for girls, there's, you know, this like, "Well, you can't wear a crop top," or, "You can't wear a bikini," or, "You can't do this." And it's, you know, we can talk about why the world is that way, but i- it's more about, um, like, how can your daughter be ready for that? Yeah. Or, and sh- it's important that she chooses when she's ready for that. Yeah. Exactly, and it's the same thing. Is it, are you okay with the attention that it comes with? Yeah. Um, that's only up to you. Mm-hmm. Now, there's a separate discussion around the boys will be boys bullshit- Yes that I will be violently op- for the rest of my life opposed to. Mm-hmm. Um, it is the person that sexualizes a pre-pub- pre- Yes pubescent person that is the problem. Absolutely. Not the other way around. Yeah. boys will n- do, boys will be boys is insane. and maybe we have a whole episode around that discussion, 'cause that- Yeah affects not just our children, but, all of us. Yeah. business, everything. but whether we like it or not- Yeah there is a certain societal expectation or playing field, I don't know what you wanna call it- Yeah that you are gonna get attention. and attention necessarily isn't bad, but it is a thing. Yeah. And you have to be ready for it. Yeah. And you have to be okay with it. and whatever age you are, it doesn't matter if you're, 12 or 28. you have to... Those decisions go into the same sort of judgment that- Yeah that you're in, in the world. and that's a, that's a conversation that I'm not as qualified as you are. I can talk to them about swearing and, and- But it's the same really- But- concept- Yes that applies. Yep. Because it's one thing to wear whatever you want at home. It's a whole nother thing out in the world- Yeah and how the world is gonna react to you. Yeah. and, Yeah, I think she's, you know, finding her way with that. Yeah. And it's an, once again, it's an evolving thing, right? It's gonna evolve as styles change and as her personality grows and- Yeah relationships change. and it's a constant, back and forth, check-in, Yeah you know, and, and there is a safety aspect that comes with that, unfortunately, that Aiden will never have to worry about. That's right but Brynley does. it's different when she goes to friends' houses, when she goes to the mall, when she goes- I mean, we have to ask about the parents. We have to make sure that there's, there's a certain level of comfort with who is there with supervision. That's a completely different conversation with Aiden. Yeah. I mean, the fact that, that it's so different. It's so different. Yeah. Well, last weekend she was going to a party. They were going to a public place. Um, a, they were just going, like, rollerskating. Yeah. And not a big deal. Like, they had a lot of fun, but I still was concerned about her leaving her drink on the side and going- Yeah um, at 12, and that's... I d- told her, I said, "If you leave your drink, just throw it out." Yeah. Um, you know, that's... A- and I'm how you have... I'm already worried about that- Yeah when she's, when I'm not there to watch it myself. So, you know, she's- Yeah having to think about that now. Yeah. And I think, I think we probably have a whole separate- We will subject around that, which- Yeah falls under the boys will be boys thing. Yeah. because it is night and day different for Aiden. I mean, it doesn't hurt that he's 220 pounds and a giant. Yeah, it'd be hard to carry him out of anywhere be hard to take him anywhere if he doesn't wanna go. but it's just the boy difference. And- Yeah there's a whole thing, girl dad, that goes out there, and, and dads that are, like, waking up to this dynamic that's out there. Yeah. That this playing field is so different. Mm-hmm. I think there's a lot of dads in our generation and the next younger, that are going like, "Holy, I didn't realize how bad it was." Yeah. and I've been fortunate, the way I was raised by my mother, and then our relationship that it- I've, I've never had any, um, misconceptions about that. Yeah. So. And then, um- I think it was maybe one more thing we talked about- Sure in this episode, which is

Screens Self Regulation And Real Life Balance

24:53

screens. Screens, that's the big one. 'Cause that's a big change in our lifetime- It's a... Yeah obviously. Um, but our kids really have grown up with screens. Yeah. so having to evolve and, you know, navigate that as a parent, it's a common question that comes up a lot. Yeah. Uh, how to deal with screens. Yeah. How much screens, you know, how do you set rules around them, if you do- If you do, yeah or are you just free, you know? Yeah. And the thing is, is it's like they're not going anywhere. No. That's the, that's the first step. Yeah. You can remove them completely, but then I think you can create a, unfortunately, potentially a taboo around it- Yeah or a hunger for using them when you're allowed to, that becomes almost, um, unhealthy attachment. They're here, and they're here to stay. Yeah. There's no putting that cat back in the bag. No. So how do we learn to deal with them, and how do we learn to adopt them? Like screens in restaurants, that's a big one, right? Oh, right. Yeah. Don't let your kids have a screen in a restaurant. But it's like for the most part, we really try to avoid that. But there are times, if it's a longer meal, there's a- Yeah equation where you're going- It's a big group and it's gonna be long it's a big group- Yeah and it's gonna be longer, and we're having a nice thing. Now our kids love to eat, so this is long- since been an, even close to an issue. And- Yeah it was only a handful of times that it really came out, but it wasn't a hard and fast rule. Mostly, I wouldn't want them to. Yeah. Um, there's a respect and all that. But occasionally, like give yourself a break too. Like, don't be so hard on yourself. They're there, they can help. As long as it's not your full-time babysitter, I don't think it's like- You, you be okay. Parents need breaks. Yeah. That's all part of that whole thing. but it- it's to just say you can't use them at all, period, is also- Yeah I think these are how taboos and things get created. I think it's checking in, right? Yeah. Like, watching what they're doing. If they're- Yes if that's all they're doing for eight hours straight is playing their games, then- Yeah okay, let's have a conversation about it. Yeah. But, um, our kids are pretty good at switching between activities. Yeah. Occasionally, Aiden can, I think, get down in that gaming- Yes space because he has a lot of friends online. Yeah. They did online school for several years. Yeah. So a big part of his social circle is not located here in Calgary- Yeah or at his school. They're all over North America- Yeah which we love. So he's gonna interact with those people- Yeah and they chat while they're playing games. Exactly. Very social. So that's like his hangout. Yeah. But certainly we do watch and be like, "Okay, it's time to get off that for a bit." Yeah. Um, or, you know, you've kinda done your day, you've got everything, you know, you need to do done today, go play your, you know- Yeah thing for a couple of hours. And it isn't that he necessarily asks, but he does a pretty good job of self-regulating it and- Yeah he's really into his Warhammer and he loves to read and he loves other things- Yeah um, which is good. And Brinley has even less so used it. Yeah. And she has open access all the time to- Yeah um, her computer. She self-regulates very well. She self-regulates very well. Yeah. She does a lot of drawing and- Yes um, creative pursuits and stuff. And I think the self-regulation is what you're trying to impart. Yeah. 'Cause we have the challenge with screens. We're on them all the time. We do too. Yeah. We're, It's the same problem adults and, and we're newer to screens technic- technically than they are because we had all this part of our life without them. Yeah. Um, so they've grown up with them, which is why you're trying to teach self-regulation at a younger age. They're less, surprising. You, you grow up with these things. They're, they're... the data sh- supports this, like boomers are the worst at misinformation, and I think our kids' generation is, like, exponentially better at that. Yeah. And every generation closer gets better and better at, like, sifting through the nonsense of- Yeah of, of social media and, and bullshit online. but it's still growing self-regulation, developing self-regulation. That's the goal. Yeah, exactly. And, and their kids- It's a work in progress. It's not just all or nothing. Exactly. And it's... and they're, they're kids, they're gonna be good and bad days. Yeah. There's gonna be days they do too much. The, the thing I think that's important for us is when we tell them, "All right, enough," Aiden mostly because Brinley we very rarely have to. Yeah. He never is like, "Oh, man." He never argues, no. He just goes, "Okay." Shuts it off and he's off in 30 seconds. Doesn't matter if he's... You know, sometimes he'll ask, "Can I finish this game?" Great, that's a question and an answer. Yeah. We can make a determination. Yeah. Is it time for dinner? No. Is there no other reason? Sure. Yeah. Like, it's a constant check-in. And then he, he never throws temper tantrums. Never, no. He's never, you know, had any of those things. Yeah. No. Nature does as he was. Or if he did, we would deal with it. Yes, of course. Yeah. In that time. Yeah. Not later, not when I'm... when it's convenient. Yeah. In that moment. And- You know, the nature versus nurture. Potentially we're gifted two very nature-friendly children as well. You know? But the nurture part is a big part of it, and we take a lot of pride in it. We take a lot of- Yeah energy and time. Our priorities are our family first, then our work- Yeah then our social life. Yeah. So, and it hopefully shows and hopefully, continues to, you know, develop two wonderful human beings. I think we won't go into this, but a good topic maybe for our kids too would be, like, around safety. Yeah. I know we worry about that as parents, but our, our, our kids are incredibly smart with this. Yeah. They know when they are being, like, taken down a path- Yeah or when something is AI or when... Like, they are incredibly, aware- Yeah of that, and there's all kinds of, you know, reasons for that and what they're doing in schools and even conversations even with friends. But that's something we can, you know, talk about at a later date, 'cause I know people are gonna be- Yeah, that's a big

The Goal Is Two Good Humans

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one for sure for that, back of their mind. Yeah. Yeah. And I think to wrap this up, it's what was our goal- Yeah with parenting? Mm-hmm. Our goal was to have two humans that were good people- Yeah most importantly, kind- good, respectful, but also able to navigate a very rapidly changing world. That's the thing. Have a certain level of autonomy, a certain level of self-regulation and responsibility, and then work ethic. This is gonna be the next thing. Yeah. That's also gonna be a whole thing because how do you raise children with proper worth e- work ethic, you know, develop those sort of things? That's, that I think has to be its own, conversation. Yeah. Because it, it isn't just about parenting, it's also about how we are as adults. What the workforce is like, all those sort of things. But- Yeah two good humans. Simple. Respectful. You know, let's hope that we can raise two good humans. Yeah. And if we did that, the rest kind of can follow. Yeah. So I think with that we can probably- We'll wrap it up there wrap up this, this episode. Thanks a lot for tuning in. Thank you. Check in next time. Built this empire from the ground. Never backing down, never bound. Two hearts, one vision, we stay true. In the thick of it, in the fits of it