Mortal Cumbutt

New episode of the Just Clownin’ Podcast is live.

Sean and Ray do a full breakdown and review of Mortal Kombat 2, so if you haven't seen it yet, consider this your official spoiler warning. The boys venture deep into spoiler territory and leave absolutely no stone unturned.

They also dive into the latest State of Play news, somehow get distracted by Anne Hathaway, and spend an unhealthy amount of time talking about things that have nothing to do with the original topic.

Ray once again takes it upon himself to interrogate Sean about his life choices—an ongoing segment at this point. Will Sean ever get his life together? The jury remains out.

Meanwhile, a simple trip to a public pool inspires Ray to set up a pool in his own front yard. Is it an early mid-life crisis? Is he just a redneck? That's for the listeners to decide.

And here's a challenge for the audience: throughout the episode, try to figure out which one of us is stoned and which one of us is drunk. It isn't both. The duality of man.

As always, it's two pals goofing off, talking shit, and seeing where the conversation goes. Welcome to the Just Clownin’ Podcast.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:08

Hey everybody, welcome back to the Just Clouding podcast where one guy's hammered and one guy stoned. We'll leave it up to you to guess who. We're not gonna tell you who's who. Anyway, my name is Raymond Coss. This is what you want to say your own name this time?

SPEAKER_01 0:22

Yeah, and this is Sean Bouvier.

SPEAKER_03 0:25

Sean Bouvier. What's your middle name?

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Michael.

SPEAKER_03 0:27

Oh, that's a gay ass middle name.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

What's your fucking middle name?

SPEAKER_03 0:31

Michael.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

No.

SPEAKER_03 0:36

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

Okay, just two gay guys. Okay, making the podcast.

SPEAKER_03 0:40

I actually have two middle names though, because I'm a British, I'm British nobility, dude. Michael Leon, dude. Michael Leon, dude. Leon. And I've uh so quick little side note here. I worked with a bunch of a bunch of Latinx people at this warehouse that I worked at. A bunch of Latinos, a bunch of salse and guacamole dip chip and motherfuckers. And um one of them was like, yo, what's your middle name? I was like, oh, uh, one of my middle names is Leon. You're like, and your first name is Ray. They were like, in Spanish, Ray Leon, your name is King Lion.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

I said, let's fucking go, guys. I said, which one of you, which one of you sexy Latina ladies wants to suck my dick?

SPEAKER_03 1:23

Which one which one of you girls wants to suck on my dick tonight?

SPEAKER_01 1:26

That's actually a pretty fucking badass.

SPEAKER_03 1:30

That's my my grandpa's middle name. Our first name is Leon. Oh, damn. That dude was Leon Pipe. Yeah, dude, I'm laying on pipe. Um, anyway, we got a we got a stack show for you today. Well, we did have a stack show. So last week we did a podcast. I left the podcast. I said, Sean, this is what's on the docket for next week. Sean looked me in the eyes and said, Okay, dude, sounds good. And then I messaged him at least three times this week, being like, I messaged him, I think on like uh Saturday, maybe even last week. I'd be like, Okay, this is what we're doing. State of play is on Tuesday, we're potting on Tuesday. So we'll do Mortal Kombat 2, Spider Noir season review, and stay to play. And then Sean's like, hold on, let me read the message actually. Let me read the exact message you sent me. It was Sunday morning. It was Sunday morning. Just so I can just so I can get this fucking clear right now because there's a little bit of an issue. There's some there's some there's some drama being caused here. Okay, hold on. Here we go, here we go, here we go. Here we go, here we go. Sorry, we talk a lot, we talk a lot. Oh, right here. Sunday, spider noir, Mortal Kombat 2, stay-to-play reactions and talk. I think that could be a good format for this week. That was my two messages to Sean. Sean has messaged me twice. First one says, Absolutely, with a fucking exclamation point. Absolutely. And the second one says, Let's fucking do it. And I'm like, oh my god, we're we're doing good. Preparation is the precursor to success. And then you know what happens? I messaged Sean yesterday and I say, Yo, what's up, man? He says, How much? I say, How's the how's the watching coming? He's like, didn't do any of it. He said, I did, I haven't done a single bit of it.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

I wanna I watched uh two episodes of Spider Noir last night.

SPEAKER_03 3:11

I watched four episodes before I came here last Tuesday. For fuck's sake, man. I was farther than you are right now last week when we recorded it. I told you about it. The day that it came out to make a motherfucker feel bad. I'm trying to because it feels like that's the only way to get through to you at this point is to hit you with shame. To shame you until you fucking hit me right in the soul. Jesus Christ, dude. I'm like, come on, bro. Anyway, so Sean watched Mortal Kombat 2. Yes, I did. And he walked and he read about some state of play shit online. Yeah, I fucking like uh watch it. I got the IGN page pulled up.

SPEAKER_02 3:49

Oh my god, he's got the IGN.

SPEAKER_03 3:51

You're fucking brain rotten carnage.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

Well, because like fucking like when I was like IGN page?

SPEAKER_02 3:55

Yeah, when I finished uh Oh sevens, everything gets a seven.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

Well, I didn't do any reviews, thankfully. No reviews, thankfully, because IGN does suck balls in the reviews, but yeah, I did search up, I searched up state of play, and then it gave me like everything that like was released as state of play today, and it gives you all the trailers right here. I was skipping through them and okay, but hold on.

SPEAKER_03 4:16

You know what we're not gonna do on the podcast? We're not gonna sit here while you watch trailers, because guess what? That was fucking homework, bitch.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

Yeah, no, I'm not gonna. That's bad podcasting. You know what?

SPEAKER_03 4:26

You know, you know what we could do if we did have cameras and we were doing a video podcast, then we could watch trailers. And I could have been like, we could have saved most of the state of play until we watch it here, yeah. And then we could have watched clips of it on the podcast, which is kind of like low bar comedy podcasting, but it would have worked. It would have worked, but you know what? I'm gonna tell you one more time, Sean. Walk the fuck in. I'm fucking dude.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

I'm walking in, man.

SPEAKER_03 4:48

I'm getting there. I'm getting there, dude. Because you know what, dude? I understand. I understand this is a lot for you. But guess what, dude? Guess what? I'm doing a lot here too. I know showing up. I'm preparing, I'm doing segments. I know. Come on, man. Like, I know. You gotta give me some, give me some are you prepared for my excuse now? I'm prepared for it and I'm prepared to shit on it because I'm sure it's trash, garbage, dude.

SPEAKER_01 5:11

Okay, okay, do-do garbage. So I worked there. That's one that's one thing. I do. I worked nightshair. I could have watched Fucking Spire in the world.

SPEAKER_03 5:17

Yeah, but you worked and then hold on. Has the cycle continued? No. So you have you've been you've been sober at work all week.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Yeah, essentially, basically.

SPEAKER_03 5:28

Okay, so no. So no.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

There may have been one day. An immediate no, an immediate no from that. And then um, so like the weekend was really fucking hot. It's like Friday, Saturday, Sunday. That kitchen was just like It was hot out, bro. It's fucking hot out. So it was like plus 40 in that fucking kitchen. There was like there was a day.

SPEAKER_03 5:45

I think it was hard to do get the shit up your nostrils. God damn, this cocaine's so humid.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

It was it was fucking it was Saturday. I swear to god, I almost died of heat exhaustion. There was like a moment where I was like, oh my I felt like fucking pin. There's no AC in that kitchen, right? It's like there's a fan, but all it does is blow fucking heart.

SPEAKER_03 6:07

Yeah, I know, but even even in like the hottest of I've been I've worked in the kitchens before, and even in the hottest of kitchens, standing in front of a fan is a godsend. Yeah, it is, it is, it is immaculate, or even just being like guys I'm stepping offline to go stand in the cooler for five minutes.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

Fucking it doesn't help that the fan like where they put the fan too is like really like it's on the hot end of the kitchen, it's like right by the fucking oven and the grill. So you gotta stand by the oven in the grill while you're getting like like air blown out.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

Sounds like Cokehead placement. It's why don't you just put the fan somewhere else? You know, that most of them are portable.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

I know. It's like a big industrial fucking fan. It's like a big fan. I don't know, man. And then also like the the walk-in cooler. I I did make trips to the walk-in cooler, but you gotta go down like a giant flight of steps. So you're like getting a workout each time you're going down there to cool off, and you're immediately getting heated up again, but when you're fucking walking up the steps.

SPEAKER_03 6:55

That's how fat and out of shape Sean is that walking up and down stairs is a workout.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

It's terrible.

SPEAKER_03 7:00

Many flights, is it one?

SPEAKER_01 7:02

No, it's like maybe like two, three flights. So not that many. So 30 steps.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

So about a two-minute not even walk. Pretty steep. I don't know, man. Okay, so pretty steep. Okay, hold on. Your first excuse was it was hot at work. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so that's why you didn't watch TV. I came I came home and I slept. Okay, yeah, sure. And then except on Saturday, I didn't. Okay, hold on. How about this? Hold on, how about this? Let's back up before before you get into all these excuses. How about last week when I left? Oh yeah. When you still didn't work for two days.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

I could have. Well, you recorded on Wednesday.

SPEAKER_03 7:38

We recorded on two. Oh, we did on Wednesday. We did on Wednesday on the wedding.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

I worked on Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 7:44

Sunday. So, oh second, hold on. I know I'm going all over the place with this. But so you're basically working five days a week. Basically, no. And you still don't have money. Well, fuck you, there's no way this is computing.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

This the key, this paycheck, though, I actually did some adult shit and I fucking paid off most of my most of my phone bill.

SPEAKER_03 8:03

Okay, your phone bill was what, $750? You definitely get paid more than that.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

$756. Definitely got paid more than that. My paycheck was $777. How? I don't know, because I'm like only minimum wage right now.

unknown 8:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 8:15

That makes sense. Why did they put you back at minimum wage?

SPEAKER_01 8:17

Well, because like we just reopened, right? And like uh it's like a money thing. Like they need to make the money back somehow and like labor costs and all that shit.

SPEAKER_03 8:25

I know like eventually I will get a raise, but so so eventually essentially they were just like, Sean, we're gonna cut your wage like crazy, come back to work with cocaine.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

Then I need I needed to fucking come back to work. I was getting fucking like I was going stir crazy in this house, man. Like I I was like on EI for months, just in this house, staring at the same four walls in my EI. You can only jerk off so many times a day. Exactly. Yeah, but there's a there's a point when you reach like number six, and it's like, what am I doing? Six is crazy. What am I doing with my life? Yeah, yeah, six. You're gonna say looking at the looking at you know with the cum left on your hand. There's no cum at that point.

SPEAKER_03 9:01

What are you talking about? It's dry, you're dry shooting. You're shooting and you don't even see anything. Like, hey, uh you know what's funny? I don't think you're lying about the six. I think six is your record. I think that's one of them.

SPEAKER_01 9:13

I think that I think that was a true true fact you just slipped into a joke. That was a true fact that did slip into a joke. Yeah, six is crazy. Six is crazy. It's crazy work at that point.

SPEAKER_03 9:23

You're just rubbing a clit. Like you're not even getting hard, like you're just rubbing a clit. Never mind, that's when you're on cocaine. Yeah, that's I was sober.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

But majority of it. But like, um, yeah, six is wild work.

SPEAKER_03 9:38

Anyway, sorry, I cut you off. You said you're getting stirred crazy, you had to go back to work, blah blah blah. Keep going.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Yeah, so I was getting stirred crazy, I had to go back to work. My EI ran out, so I went back to work, and you know, money is money. I have money in my pocket, not right now.

SPEAKER_03 9:51

Literally, never whenever I see you, you don't. So when I don't think you ever do. I'm convinced you're actually not working. I'm convinced this has been an elaborate ruse and it's under the bed. Come on out, come on out. I don't think there's any room for why what's under there? Nothing. How is there no room then?

SPEAKER_01 10:13

Fucking look how low it is.

SPEAKER_03 10:15

It's like oh damn, bro.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

There's no room for anything.

SPEAKER_03 10:19

I could fit my ass under there. Well, I got guitar cases to fit down there too. My guitar cases are more important. I'm fucking petite. I could fit under there, bro. I'm petite as fuck. I'm petite. You're petite. I'm a petite female. Petite female. I'm a young, petite, skinny female stepsister. Um okay, so hold on. So first, first it was okay, I'm it was hot. Yeah. And then what do you have anything else that's better than that? Because that's that's booty cheek's ass. Okay, so that's poop from a butt.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

So on Friday, fucking Nicole calls me at fucking two o'clock in the morning. For those who don't know, Nicole is my sister, and she tells me, hey, our friend Cole Windsor's in town. He's staying at our place. He should come over. I'm like, bitch, it's two o'clock in the morning. I'm not going over there. I'll see you guys tomorrow. So I went there the next day on Saturday, and was it worth it? I'm still trying to figure out if it was. Because when I got there, it was just Colton, my brother-in-law, by himself. Cole wasn't there. Cale wasn't there. They were at some hockey game, and they came back and Cole was dead tired. Like dead tired. He passed out on the couch right beside me. I'm like, okay. Okay. And then Cale left like an hour later.

SPEAKER_03 11:33

Wait, was this the story that you said you didn't want to tell on the podcast?

SPEAKER_01 11:36

Yeah, I'm not gonna go into detail about what happened. Okay, well, that's fun.

SPEAKER_03 11:39

That's fun, I guess, for me.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Yeah, fuck yeah. So anyway, it was like it was just like me and Colton we got drunk, and yeah, and then eventually I just stayed up until like eight o'clock in the morning. I'll go more in depth, but yeah, it was up until eight o'clock in the morning. Okay, and then I worked on Sunday, and I fucking on Sunday it was a brutally hot day. It was super slow though. I got out of there at like 10 45, came home, and passed out, and then slept the day away basically yesterday, woke up at like fucking four o'clock in the afternoon. 3 30 when you texted me, anyway.

SPEAKER_03 12:08

Continue. Oh, yeah, the 3-30 when I texted me. Yesterday you had all I you had all day. I told you, I was like, let's get prepared, let's prepare you. But you were like, nah, fuck that.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

That was the house, yeah. I was I was I was sick, man.

SPEAKER_03 12:19

But sick of what?

SPEAKER_01 12:21

Heat exhaust.

SPEAKER_03 12:22

Sick of what? Heat exhaust. Put some sunscreen on and stop being such a faggot.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Why would I wear sunscreen in a kitchen? There's no sun in a kitchen. That's a joke, Retard. It's like a dungeon in there. And no windows.

SPEAKER_03 12:39

Dude, you know what? I at this point, at this point, Sean, unless your excuses sound valid to me, not taking them.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

Okay, well, yeah, you don't you don't gotta accept them. I thought they were decent. No. They're definitely not decent. They're pretty bullshit.

SPEAKER_03 12:53

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Once they escaped my mouth, I was like, these are very I mean the when you said when you said I was hot, you weren't like, oh, I'm a bitch. That you didn't like think immediately when you said I was too hot, you weren't like, damn, I'm such a gay bitch right now. There were moments when I was questioning it.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

You were like, damn, I'm such a gay fucking bitch. I had like fucking five freezyes that day, dude, and I had like two Klondike bars. Wow, my little baby. You know, that was that was me being a little bitch. Oh, dude, there's a there's a water bottle behind you. Fucking uh metal one. Can you pass it to me?

SPEAKER_03 13:26

Yeah. Water bottle, just because Sean needs to hydrate because we're not sure who is drinking or not. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:33

This is uh everything that we're drinking or sipping on today is a water bottle. So we'll leave it out to you to decide who's drunk or who's still.

SPEAKER_03 13:42

Anyway, fucking Sean Gay. Sean gay. Sean gay.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

What do you want to do, buddy? Alright, what do you want to hop in first? I think we should hop into a fucking The only thing you know? The only thing you watched. Mortal Kombat today, yeah. Okay. Before we do that, we talked about like sort of like my week. We should talk about your week. Fucking anything new in your life going on?

SPEAKER_03 14:07

Um literally down bad at my at that the last string of my rope. No money, no nothing, can't get weed, can't get anything, can't get a vape. I I I I'll tell you where I took this vape, where I got the money for this vape, but we might have to cut it because I feel so bad. What did you do? I stole it from DeAndre's piggy bank. No, I ransacked the boys' piggy bank and I said, Papa needs a vape. I said, Papa needs a vape, buddy.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

Oh my god. I thought you were gonna say his like birthday money or some shit.

SPEAKER_03 14:41

I mean, probably was some of his birthday money. Like there was there was a 50 in there, bro. I said, Wow, yoink. Yoink yoink yoink. That kid's stacking joke. I said, yoink yoink yoink. Um, so I'm like, I'm basically, basically need to get a job very, very soon. So there's this place that Erica heard about from her friend. It's essentially like uh like you know, like people on the road construction job. Yeah, but you just hold the stop and go sign. Oh, like a flag's personal. Yeah, the flagger. Yeah. So I'm gonna apply at this company that like really needs people, and apparently, like her husband, like Erica's friend's husband who got a job there, was in the same position as me. Not really no experience, no qualifications for like anything else at the job, but he started as a flagger, moved up, blah, blah, blah. They're looking for people. So I'm gonna go there this week and apply. Erica seems pretty confident I can get a job there, so I'll probably try and do that most likely. I applied at um, I applied at this other place. I was like, dude, I should try and get this job so bad. Cause it's actually kind of close to my house. So it's called Saint Benedict's Monastery. And I look, I seen it, and I was like, is this a fucking crypt? Like, is this like yeah, monasteries are essentially crypts? That's what I thought, and then I looked it up, or I read the description, and it's like uh like an old folks' home. Oh shit, dude. That is a crypt, dude, dude. Literally just old people dying left and right, syphilis everywhere, everybody's got gonorrhea, herpes on the lip, you know, shit like that. But like apparently it was like working 10 to 6 there cooking for old people. I like I called, I called, and I was like, I called the number attached to the ad and it went to voicemail, and the voice machine answered, and it was like, Hello, my name is Margaret.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

If you want to leave me a message, go for it.

SPEAKER_03 16:28

And then I swear to god, like a three second, three-second pause, and then I was like, I'm waiting for the beep.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

And then she's like, have a good day!

SPEAKER_03 16:39

I was like, I was like, okay. So it was like beep. And I was like, I was like, hello, my name is Raymond Collins. I'm seeing the ad online, would like to maybe apply for this position to call me, but maybe we can set up an interview. My number is 204 beep.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

So the person that's running the old folks home is old as shit, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 17:03

I don't know, I didn't get a call back. Let's just say that. Also, I don't know if I got my full number in there because I swear to god, I was giving my number. It was like, my number is 204 beep, and then I was like, 3400753. Anyway, then I called you back. So that's fucking funny. Yeah, so um, and then like you said, it was very hot out. So we're outside. Or last actually, it was must have been last weekend, like not this past one, but the one before that was Dalton's son's birthday. Yeah. So we went to Pine Falls, and it was at Papertown, and they ran it out the pool. Dude, I'm out of breath just sitting here. I get I get the stairs thing now. Yeah, dude. I'm severely out of stairs. I'm sitting here like breathing. I'm like, I do legit have water here if you want to have some water, dude. I'm drinking water. Oh, yeah, you already fucking drink hard. Um, anyway. Um so no, we went to the went to the party and it was at Papertown, so it was at the pool. Yeah. And we got there, and like we got there early. Like, we were the first people there. We were the first people there, and then like Angela and a couple other and like her kid and a couple other people showed up shortly after, but we got there early. They were still setting up, and I was like, fuck it, dude. The pool's open. I was like, Andre, you want to go swimming? He's like, Yeah, Papa, let's go. So we went and got changed. We jumped in the pool, and literally Andre and I swam in the pool for like an hour. We went down the slide, dude. Oh, I should tell this story. So we were going to the pool, and like Andre can't swim. He's got a life jacket on, but he's still pretty scared of water. He hasn't really been in water a lot. So, like, he he has a life jacket where, like, you know, the life jackets that have the little thing on the back of the room. Yeah, they support support the uh the kids. Yeah, he didn't have that on his. Oh, no. So when I put him on his back, his head was like under a little bit. So he was getting a little bit scared. So we were just playing the pool. I was like putting him on my back and like swimming around and just like fucking around. I would like throw him up in the air and throw him in the pool. And then he sees like they turned the water slide on. Yeah. There were other kids there, and they were like, I want it. They're like, We're going down the water slide. Andre seen that, and he's like, Papa, let's go. And I'm like, We're doing it. I was I was like, dude, it's pretty high, like for a kid. And I'm like, dude, I think when we get up there, you're not gonna want to do it. I think you're gonna be scared. And he's like, No, let's go. So I'm like, all right, so I get out of the pool and we're walking up the stairs, and we get to the top, and there's this other kid up there, and he goes down first, and Andre sees it and he's like, Let's fucking go. So we go down the slide together, and I'm going down the slide, I'm kind of holding the side to slow our descent so we're not fucking whipping around going fast with my kid. And we do it, and he has so much fun. So we do it like three or four more times. Awesome. And at the third or fourth time, I'm not holding onto the side anymore. We're going full blast down this shit, and I'm fucking throwing my son as soon as we get down, shooting him off like a little rocket, dude. But so we go up, we go up one time, we go up one time, and we're up there and we're alone, there's nobody with us, and um, like nobody waiting. And he's like, Papa can't want to go. And I'm like, okay, wait, because I'm not I'm not even standing in the slide yet. And he's like, No, let's go. And he fucking goes. So he's and I go after him. So he's like a meter and a half ahead of me, but he has no control over his body yet. Yeah, so he completely he's going down the slide and he spins around and he's going down the slide backwards, head first on his back, and but he's ahead of me. And in my in my brain, I'm like, I'm like, oh, this is bad. This is why they don't tell you to go one at a time because he's gonna go in and then I'm gonna land on top of him. Yeah, so I'm like, I gotta do something fast. So I grab his leg, I pull him as hard as I can, and I turn him around and I hold him down and I say, Woo. And we hit the wall, we hit the water, perfect, nothing happened. And I go to the water and I go tell like my mom and like Ron Adams is sitting there, and he's like, he's like, I seen you guys. He's like, I seen you guys at the top, and I seen him go down, and then you after him, and then I was waiting for him to come out, and then you guys came out together. I was like, Yeah, dude, I was like, I got I was fucking I was so scared, but after it was done, I was like, this kid's a little fucking retard, dude. Little fucking goober, dude. He's gone backwards now. It's like he's definitely his father's son.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

That's for sure. He's a fucking well, his dick definitely tells me so. What's up with the retard?

SPEAKER_03 21:11

He's got a tiny penis, dumb brain, big feet. Great personality though, good vibes. I can see that. I could see that being true. So anyway, so we went there, we went there, we swam all day. Andre loved it. Last week, this past week, and it was so hot. We're like, Andre, you want to set up a pool outside? He's like, Yeah. So we had this really tiny pool, maybe like four feet in diameter, like not very big, and like maybe a foot deep. And we're like, nah, let's not do that one. We got this other one, eight feet in diameter from my auntie. And we're we set up outside. Originally we were gonna set up in the garage because the the ground's really flat. Yeah, but uh, I was like, yo, there's no drainage in our backyard. This is just open to the back lane. Yeah. When I drain this pool, which has Gallons of water in it. Yeah. It is just going to go into our neighbors' yards and they're going to get mad at us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

Not a good idea.

SPEAKER_03 22:07

I was like, let's put it in the front yard, put a tarp down, and then I could just drain it into the street. And then I could drain into the drainage pipes on the street.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

That's a great idea. That's a solid idea.

SPEAKER_03 22:16

So we put it in the front, unbeknownst to me, that our front yard is not level. Oh no. So I get we get the pool down. I fill it up all Friday night. Takes like two or three hours to fill it up. Like it's like a it's like at least like two and a half, three feet deep, like at the at the whole thing. But like it's on a slant. So like one half of the pool is full to the top. The other half of the pool is like half full. I put up I put up the most the most white white trash trailer park welfare pool in my front yard. In my front yard for my neighbors to see. Fill that shit up. It's way too cold to get in on Friday night. Like it's so cold I tried sitting in it. I tried sitting in it and I had to stand up because I was like getting disoriented. I was like, I don't feel good. I couldn't I couldn't talk. I was like, it's too cold. And so we leave it out all night. We're like down. I was like, man, maybe we should like a pool cover. Like a tarp or something. Yeah. So I send Erica to the store while I'm filling up the pool. I said, okay, the pool is eight feet in diameter. That means eight feet all around. Yeah. That means you need a tarp. It's the radius. At least the radius is half of the diameter. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, right. The diameter is the full thing of the pool, like the full circle. Yeah. All the way across. I'm like, so you need a tarp that's at least eight by eight feet. Yeah. At least. And Erica's like, sounds good, boss. I got you. I got you. Comes back with a tarp that's 16 by 6. Shit didn't even cover the pool. I put this tarp on the pool, it's not even covered. So the next day when we go out there to swimming it, I got a fucking, I got a hand colander, a strainer from my kitchen that I'm walking around in the pool in like a fucking, like I said, trailer park pool boy, fucking hitting it with the getting all the bugs out. And then me and my boy swimming it for a couple hours. We had a great time, but I was like, dude, I feel like such a piece of trash. And then I feel like such a piece of trash. I was like, Erica, let's go get some beers. I got a drink in this thing with my boy.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

Drinking in the front yard with your slanted pool.

SPEAKER_03 24:17

And my slanted son. Because his eyes are fucking slanted because he's Asian.

SPEAKER_01 24:21

Um, but so at least you got like a makeshift like deep end and a makeshift shallow end.

SPEAKER_03 24:28

Yeah, but then whatever. This is gonna be this people are gonna brighten this. Whatever. And then Erica got in, fucking threw all the water out the pool, the big bitch. All the water displacement. No, I'm just kidding. But no, it's also sitting in the front of my yard in with no water, no, no current, no movement. So it's like getting stagnant. There's mosquitoes probably being built in it. Probably. So I'm probably gonna go out go home and have to dump it. I'm waiting for the HOA, the head of House of the Head House House of Associate Homeowners Association, yeah to come to my door and be like, What are you doing? You can't do this. Nobody's came yet. Actually, somebody came knocking on my door really loudly today. Oh, yeah. Just turned up the TV a little bit. Didn't even look. Didn't even I said, I'm gonna pretend you're not there. Knocking one time, dude, I forgot.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

I wonder what they wanted. They're complaining about the pool. Don't care. Don't care. Didn't open the door. No, that's fucking white trash. You want to hear real white trash?

SPEAKER_03 25:28

One time I was sleeping in the bedroom and like it's like one in the morning. And there's like bang at the door. I'll say this off mic. One to work. Um, and then no, so I'm sleeping, it's one in the morning, and uh and I'm there's banging on the door, and I'm like, what the fuck? Banging on the door, and I'm like, whatever, they'll they'll go away. I'm like, I'm not getting up, it's one in the morning. And then like it's like banging, and then it's it turns into banging on the front door, because the front door is right next to the window where the bedroom is. Yeah. Banging on the front door to banging on the window, and I'm like, oh shit, and I get up, and then even through the blinds, you could see the police lights.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 26:09

Full spotlight on the window, like literally on my on the bedroom window where I'm sleeping.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

I gotta cut you off. Like, when the fuck did this happen?

SPEAKER_03 26:17

Like three months ago? I don't know. Oh, it wasn't too long ago. Like, might have been when my foot was broken, to be honest. I don't really remember, but um Okay, continue.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

I want to know what happened to you.

SPEAKER_03 26:26

Nothing, nothing, it was super anticlimactic. I was like, I was like, Mom, get the door! Like Will Farrell. Get the fuck up me, get the door!

SPEAKER_02 26:37

The meatloaf!

SPEAKER_03 26:42

And yeah, I was I was like, oh, get the fucking door, dude. Come on, dude. You you're the adult of this. I was I'm a children, I'm a child. And then she got the door, and it was literally just like the police looking for the landlords of the house, the owners of the house, because they're like fucking fucking slum lords. I don't know. They were looking for the landlords, and they were like, we need to find them right now. And my mom was like, Well, we rent this house, so can you leave us alone? And then they left, they were like, Okay, yes, ma'am, okay, fine. They left, they sat in their car, didn't turn off the spotlight to the bedroom window for 30 minutes, sat there for 30 minutes. What the hell? So we're gonna go out and look it out the window like come on, guys. Try to sleep here. I gotta work tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

I wonder what your landlord did. Like, if they catch your landlord and arrest them, they get jailed. Like, does that mean that you guys are out of a out of a fucking house?

SPEAKER_03 27:32

No, I think it means we get the house.

SPEAKER_01 27:34

That means you guys get the house. For free. Like, really? Uh I made it up. I don't think that's how the law works. I'm a gobble motherfucker. I believe anything.

SPEAKER_03 27:43

Yeah, you will, you double motherfucker. You swallow anything, slut. I believe anything like that. Swallow anything slut slut.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

When a girl tells me she loves me, I'm like, I believe you.

SPEAKER_03 27:52

You believed every one of them so far. Like, I believe you. Damn, you probably still believe her. When's the last time you talked to her? Because last week when I was here, you were talking to her. I haven't talked to her since.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

Actually, that's why I talked to her the other day.

SPEAKER_03 28:04

Yeah, what do you mean? You haven't talked to her since you literally told me the other like yesterday in text messages, yeah. She blew up on me. I'm not talking to her anymore. Blocked her on everything. And this is when I asked, can you block email asking for a friend? Also, how do you so hold on? When you guys were when you guys were messaging on email, I was thinking about this the other day laughing to myself. I was like, when you guys were messaging on email, were you guys like sending each other dirty messages? Because that's like so fucking funny to send an email, be like, oh baby, I love your fucking tits, and you're just jerking off with a soft dick, waiting for an email back. You're like, you're like, you're like scrolling up, refreshing. You're like, oh my god, when is she gonna hit me? Because like sexting on this on a cell phone is so immediate. You get the message, they get the message, and just keeps going. But on email, it just seems so, so crazy. Like, I would come after the first email, and then I'd be like, I don't want to talk to you no more.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

Like, she gave me her WhatsApp number, and then I was we were talking on there. Gotcha.

SPEAKER_03 28:58

That's why you're up till three. And so that the the other day, what the other day when I texted you, and it was Sunday actually. Yeah, I texted you and I was like, damn, you were up late night beating dick because I went on WhatsApp and it said last online, 326 a.m. And I'm like, Yeah, you're up late talking to jerking off, you fucking crazy bitch.

SPEAKER_01 29:16

That's actually no fucking. I was actually talking to the bo uh the to the work chat. Yeah. Sure. Yeah, we have like a 326, sure. Well, yeah, we have this thing called Kitchen Bitches. Kitchen Bitches is our group chat name. Okay. Fucking show you.

SPEAKER_03 29:32

No, it's fine. You don't gotta show me. I believe it's that's what the name is. I just don't believe that that's who you were talking to. Fair enough. You know what's crazy? You know what's crazy? The part that I believe, or the part that I don't believe, is not the name.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

Yeah, okay. I I believe you. I believe you.

SPEAKER_03 29:47

Uh you should, because I'm being honest. Anyway, um I don't know where we were.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Well, we were talking about the um like the landlord situation.

SPEAKER_03 29:57

Oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. And then anyway, we set up a fucking pool for my son. It's still in my front yard. Gotta clean it up soon, probably tomorrow. Right. Um, not much else we did. It was pretty hot. We stayed inside. Uh, got some pizza. What did I make? Oh, I've been barbecuing a lot. I made um I've been fucking I've been fucking up that mortar and pestle.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

Oh, fucking still going hard with the mortar and pestle.

SPEAKER_03 30:21

Yeah, I made, I made, so I made new lemonade. I made raspberry straw or no. Yeah, raspberry strawberry lemonade. Oh fuck yeah. That shit was so good. It was actually it was the best one I made so far. The combination of ras or strawberries with another fruit, I think, is really what makes it delicious. And then instead of instead of just straining the raspberries through a cheesecloth, because raspberry flesh is already so like um like not fibrous, it's like pretty, pretty loose, and like you can break up raspberries pretty easily. Yeah, I crushed the raspberries, put the whole raspberry pulp in the drink so that when you're drinking it with a straw, you get little raspberry chunks in it. Because raspberry breaks up super easy. The problem I had with strawberries, when I put too much strawberry chunks in there, you have to really you'd probably want to use a food processor if you did the strawberries like with some pulp because then it would be able to go through a straw. When I was hitting it with a mortar and pestle, there were still chunks in there that were just like not able to get through a straw. Yeah. Anyway, made that. I made uh I made some Asian style pork chops. So I did some uh some crushed garlic, crushed ginger, crushed uh onions, and then I added some mirin, soy sauce, rice vinegar, and what else do we add? Maybe some chili, some like crushed chili flakes or something. Um and then I barbecued that. That shit was so good. And then I did uh I did a dill pickle chicken. A dill pickled chicken. Yeah, so I had a whole chicken, I spatchcocked it, so I cut the spine out of it. You spatchcocked it. Yeah, yeah, you know what that is? Sounds sexual. Sounds like crazy you don't know what that is. Crazy you don't know what that's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

Why don't you just tell our listeners? I will, yeah, I will.

SPEAKER_03 31:58

So it's when you cut out the spine of a chicken and then you flatten out the whole chicken so it sits flat so you can grill it on a barbecue so it cooks a bit more evenly instead of cooking a full chicken. So you literally just cut along the spinal cord on both sides and then turn the chicken over, push it down, push down the bones, push down the thighs and the breast so it sits a bit more flat. Then you season that bitch, and then you could grill that shit, and it's a lot, lot it's it's just it cooks a lot more evenly. Yeah. Because if you're cooking a full chicken, it's not gonna cook evenly on a barbecue. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So I spatchcocked the chicken, I've added a bunch of fucking seasoning to it, mostly this dill pickle seasoning I had in my cupboard that was full that I said never used it before, gonna make dill pickle chicken. Made that, grilled that shit up with some fucking broccoli and uh potato casserole. Yeah, and uh that's about it.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

Um that's fucking that that sounds dope. But also, like I can't, I got I knew like I never knew that's what that was called, spatch caulking. Like, I know what you're talking about, yeah. But I honestly never knew that's what the term was. And the term sounds honestly pretty fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 33:06

Yeah, it's like uh spatch cocking. It's like a birdie being called a shuttlecock. It's like what are we doing here? Yeah, what are what's about the birds being called cocks?

SPEAKER_01 33:13

Even a fucking rooster is called the caul.

SPEAKER_03 33:15

Wow, and you know what? I didn't even put the bird thing together until just now. Yeah, fucking like a birdie. Oh, well, it's in the cock.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

From the cock, dude. Yeah. From the cock. From the fucking from the from the from the rooster? The cock or the fucking dick? Whatever you want, baby. Gobble gobble.

SPEAKER_03 33:30

No, probably from the rooster. That makes sense, you know, right? The spatch cock, it's a cock, it's a rooster, birdie, shuttlecock, it's it's shaped in the face it's in the shape of a shuttle, and it's got a cock. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 33:45

It's just something that dawned on me just now.

SPEAKER_03 33:46

You know what? I like it. I'll take it.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

Well, let's talk about Mortal Kombat now.

SPEAKER_03 33:50

Damn, that was a pretty good, pretty good 30-minute intro.

SPEAKER_01 33:53

That was a good 30-minute intro. And also today, fucking, there is like there's no timer from Raymond today on me getting set up because I got things pre-set up before he got here. You know what? You know what? I did a little bit of pre-ing before he got here. Yeah, he's finally, finally, the little bit of preparation from the man is good. So some preparation is good, yes.

SPEAKER_03 34:12

Some pepper is good. But also, I'm uh it's it's I I'm not going to, but I feel like I should. Where Sean texted me and he's like, dude, just open the laptop today. Worked immediately. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, funny how that happened when I wasn't there. I know, huh? Every time I'm there, you gotta be like, nah, fuck, bro. I gotta restart this bitch. Oh shit, bro. We sound like Legos. Nah, we sound like robots. Okay, boy. This time he texts me. I'm not here. He texts me, he's like, bro, didn't have to do anything. It was set up already. I'm like, okay. Yeah. You know what? I'm gonna let you have this one. Let me have it. I'm gonna let you have this one. I'm not even gonna fight you on this one. This is legit truth. This is the truth of the honest. Okay, so how many legits and honest do you have to put before truth before I know it's real? Like, if you don't use legit, do I know you're lying to me?

SPEAKER_01 34:59

Yeah, fuck if I say legit, you know it's the fucking truth. Or that's a lie. Because you're overcompensating. Yeah, word. I understand the skepticism. I totally get it. Considering the last time you're here, it took me like 27 fucking minutes to get shit sold.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

28, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:14

The whole I could check.

SPEAKER_03 35:15

I got it on my phone.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

I think you still have it in your notes.

SPEAKER_03 35:17

Yeah, I'm no, I'm keeping everyone. There's a phone. Yeah, keeping a log. Keeping this shit logged. Yeah, look at 20 minutes, 29 minutes. Look at that. I should even put things on here like no, I can't put that. I was gonna put like first session, second session, but we can't do that because I didn't start on the first session. Oh, yeah. But you know what? I know what it means. Yeah, and you were going down. You're going down.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

I was going down, but I peaked. I peaked today, and you weren't here to see. You know what?

SPEAKER_03 35:42

I'll put zero minutes just just so you feel good about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

It may have took like because you know, booting up the laptop stuff. You know, fucking this is a few. Starts at five.

SPEAKER_03 35:49

This is starts at five, and then in 20 minutes he's gonna be like, all right, maybe it took 10. It didn't take 10. Let's just call it five to be safe. By the time I leave, he's gonna be like, all right, it took 37 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 36:01

Five is way more generous than fucking zero seconds, I feel like. So I just fine.

SPEAKER_03 36:06

I'm not arguing with you. I told you I was gonna let you have this one.

SPEAKER_01 36:09

Okay, word. All right.

SPEAKER_02 36:11

I was gonna put zero. Zero is too generous of a number.

SPEAKER_01 36:16

Don't get on me. I was gonna put zero. I feel like zero is too generous of a number.

unknown 36:22

All right.

SPEAKER_01 36:23

All right, fucking more. I feel like I'm too generous of a fucking co-host. Fucking you're very generous. Fucking you better be more generous with your fucking seed, buddy. I will be. Anyways. Okay, so mortal fucking combat, dude. Literally just fucking washed it.

SPEAKER_03 36:38

Okay, so we're okay. So let's do mortal combat. We're gonna do more combat. I don't mean to cut you off. I'm gonna let's keep going. But so like last time we talked when we did obsession. Yeah. I should have brought this up before we started recording. This is kind of behind the scenes shit, but so for the for the for the movie, I think we should do a full movie breakdown. So from start to finish. Whereas when we did obsession, we were just randomly talking about the movie. Yeah. Let's go through the whole movie and then we'll talk about things we liked about it as we talk about the movie.

SPEAKER_01 37:03

Okay. Cool. Alright. So, beginning of the movie. Fucking it's fucking King Jared talking to Katana. You know, he's about to go fight Shao Kahn, right?

SPEAKER_03 37:13

Okay, hold on. And this is this is where you're probably gonna take the lead on most of this conversation. Who the fuck is King Jared? Like, I'm just supposed to know who that is.

SPEAKER_01 37:21

Well, King Jared uh was like the initial like uh ruler of I forget what the name of the of the realm there.

SPEAKER_03 37:27

Uh fucking what's okay, hold on. This is one thing I have, and this ties into exactly what you're saying.

SPEAKER_01 37:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:31

What the fuck realm are they in? What is happening? They're like, if this one beats this realm nine and ten times, then we get dominion over this one, but we need to get Earth Realm 2. How many fucking realms are there? What realms are there?

SPEAKER_01 37:43

There's there's many realms, but this is like an outworld. They're in it, they're in this one city that's in the realm of outworld.

SPEAKER_03 37:49

Okay, and then there's another realm.

SPEAKER_01 37:50

The nether realm is like basically like the underworld. That's like hell. That's like hell.

SPEAKER_03 37:54

That's where fucking Scorpion is.

SPEAKER_01 37:55

Yeah, and Noob Cybot and all of them and shit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:58

Wait, is Noob Cybot in this fucking movie?

SPEAKER_01 37:59

Yeah, in the fucking yeah, Bihon. Fucking noob cybot. Okay, that's who that was supposed to be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:03

Who cares, dude?

SPEAKER_01 38:04

Anyway, continue. Yeah, so like fucking then King Jared. Okay. King Jared, you don't really like you. He's mentioned a lot in the video games, but you don't actually see him until Mortal Kombat 1. You don't play as him until fucking Mortal Kombat 1, like the new the new one.

SPEAKER_03 38:18

Damn, I have that one. Probably didn't get that far, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 38:21

Yeah, fucking, yeah, King Jared's in there. Yeah. Yeah, he's uh um Katana's legitimate father. And yeah, Shao Khan fucking kills King Jared like immediately. Fucking fatally, fatality.

SPEAKER_03 38:34

I guess it could say I think they even say at the beginning of the movie before they fight, I think they say Mortal Kombat or something. Like there's one of those, you know how when you fight in the game before you start fighting, there's like some like saying in the background, like there's always somebody saying some random shit. Swear to god, when they first started fighting, I heard that. I heard them say something, and I was like, Alright, okay, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 38:52

Yeah, each fight had like a little introduction. They're like saying some words to each other before they fucking fight each other, which I noticed when I was watching a movie, which I thought was pretty cool. I thought that was pretty cool.

SPEAKER_03 39:02

Okay, okay, so yeah, more so yeah, Shao Kahn fucking kills Katana and then claims claims her as his daughter.

SPEAKER_01 39:09

Yeah, and he takes over the the city there.

SPEAKER_03 39:11

Oh yeah, okay, and then like he becomes their ruler. Yeah, during that fight though, there's Shao Kahn is fighting whatever fucking King Homo and um he's getting he's fucking kicking King Homo's ass, and then he like Shao Kahn like goes like this and like shoulder checks a statue and it crumbles to bits. I was like, what is a statue made out of dust? I'm like, what the fuck? He like gives it a little light, a little like shoulder bump and the whole thing crumbles.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

You didn't see that he used his power, like it was that green fucking there's like a green flash, he like uses fucking his power. He used his actual shoulder bash fucking that didn't happen. That didn't happen.

SPEAKER_02 39:49

I literally just watched I watched it today too. Oh word, okay.

SPEAKER_01 39:54

Didn't happen. I swear to god, it happened for like a split second. You can see it. We'll pull it up after whatever it was gay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:00

Okay, um, okay, and then fucking and then Katana. Oh, yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 40:07

And then there's like a little time jump.

SPEAKER_03 40:09

Yeah, and then Katana, okay, and then Katana has this is what I wrote down. Katana has a banana fight with hot ass, bald, light skinned Jade. That that chick that plays Jade. I think she's so hot.

SPEAKER_01 40:20

Holy shit. She's actually pretty fucking she's gonna be in that new naughty dog game, too. Is she? Yeah, man, she's in that fucking new naughty dog game. She's the main character.

SPEAKER_03 40:28

She was in Uncharted, so it makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

Yeah, and she was also in The Last of Us season two. Nobody watched that.

SPEAKER_03 40:35

We watched it. I didn't watch it. You didn't watch it. I didn't watch a single episode of it. Oh wow, yeah. Yeah, we watched a single episode of it. Uh that's cool. No, I always thought she was super fucking hot anyway. Um, and it I say banana fight because Katana's fighting with like these yellow sticks that look like bananas.

SPEAKER_01 40:48

Yeah, like these fucking, like these like makeshift like yellow like knife things. I was like, what the fuck is she using? What is this? In my brain, I immediately remember.

SPEAKER_03 40:55

Like a dildo fight. Like she's having a fucking banana fight with this chick, dude. And uh I I thought it looked like like when she flips on the tree. There's one part where she flips does a black backflip on the tree. I'm not sure if they're meant to show it like this, if it's supposed to be slow-mo or something, but it looks really bad. A lot of the stuff in this movie, this is one of my biggest gripes of the movie, is whenever Katana's doing her acrobatic flippy fucking bullshit, which I'll bring up later when we get into the movie. It looks it looks like I could see the wires. I never I never noticed it looks it looks like she's moving so slowly and so unorganically that it looks like I could almost be like, oh, there are the wires pulling her. Because like it looks so bad to me. I don't know why. Okay, oh also, this is a big thing we should get in before we start the movie is how did you feel? What what was your what's your like rating on the movie now? Or or give it a rating and then at the end we'll let people know if we recommend it or not.

SPEAKER_01 41:48

My my rating, I would say, again, because I actually really enjoyed it, because I'm I'm a Mortal Kombat nerd and I thought it was um a great improvement on the previous film. Um I feel like I'll I'd give it a seven out of ten. Okay. Six point five seven.

SPEAKER_03 42:02

Six point five seven. Okay, that's not bad. I mean, that's probably probably where people are scoring it. I'd probably score it a bit lower. I'd give it probably a five. Yeah. Five out of ten. Definitely better than the last movie, but the last movie I'd probably give like a three.

SPEAKER_01 42:14

I'd give the last movie the good. Not very good.

SPEAKER_03 42:16

The first 20 minutes of the last movie are better than this whole movie? Still, you think so?

SPEAKER_01 42:22

Yeah, the first twenty first twenty minutes of the of the last movie did slap pretty hard.

SPEAKER_03 42:25

It's better than this whole movie still, which is crazy to me. Um okay, anyway, now that now that we just because I want I want people to know, like, uh, or I want at least us to know, uh, that like you liked it a lot more than I did. Yeah. So I'll you'll probably have more better, like more pros, I'll probably have more cons.

SPEAKER_01 42:42

So then like after the whole katana training scene, it's established that Jade is basically like her protector. When they're like, you know, she's more than just her protector, more than just her servant, she's her sister. And I feel like that's very detrimental because that's exactly how it is in the video games, too. So I feel like it's very nice to kind of like immediately touch on that.

SPEAKER_03 43:02

Yeah, is that what you like? Do you know what I wrote down next? This is what I wrote down next, because this is a scene that happens immediately after the banana fight. Oh, what's that? So immediately after the banana fight, Katana is gifted her iconic fan blades by Jade.

SPEAKER_01 43:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:17

And it feels this is why I wrote it, it feels painfully obvious that it's just so she can get her fan blades. Because this is the quote that I wrote this down because I was like, this is oh, that's a horrible quote. I hate that. This is the quote that Jade gives to Katana.

SPEAKER_01 43:29

There was some very cringy dialogue in this movie. I will give you that for sure.

SPEAKER_03 43:33

Most princesses are supposed to sit around on pillows fanning themselves. You don't seem like the pillow type. Oh my god, kill myself. Oh my god. I immediately after that I wrote yuck.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

She's gonna be the pillow type once Lu Kang gives her that dick eventually in maybe the third movie.

SPEAKER_03 43:51

Yeah, I don't know. I walk I was watching that scene, and it was literally just her stopping her before they go into Shao Kahn's courtroom or whatever, and she's like, Here, I think. You should have these. And it's like, what the fuck is this? Just make just get let her have the fans already. We don't have to have this dumbass fucking scene where Jade's like, give her some bullshit. I think you need these blades because you're a princess. It's like, shut the fuck up. That's so fucking gay. That was pretty gay.

SPEAKER_01 44:17

I'm gonna give you that. I'm gonna give you that for that absolutely give you that.

SPEAKER_03 44:20

Absolutely hate that.

SPEAKER_01 44:21

Um and then the next scene it transitions to it's fucking the heroes in the previous film. And you're like, Earth Realm needs a new a new champion, and then boom, Johnny motherfucking cage, dude.

SPEAKER_03 44:35

Yep, Johnny Cage and Uncaged Fury. The uncaged movie.

SPEAKER_01 44:38

That was fucking awesome. I fucking I loved that whole sequence. I thought that was fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 44:44

What's the song? A C D C.

SPEAKER_01 44:49

I forget the name of the song already. Welcome to the Jungle. Oh, yeah, no, that's not that's not AC DC, that's fucking Guns N' Roses. I don't give a fuck. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:57

Wish I cared. It's one of those fucking guitar fucking dumb gay songs. One of those fucking butt metal songs. That's fucking Guns N' Roses. Welcome to the Jungle! Anyway, it was that it was that one. It was like a cheesy like um 80s. 80s, like flashback or not flashback, but like uh cutscene like trailer from a movie that he did. Whatever, he's doing acrobatics, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Cuts to cuts to Johnny Cage. Kill I'll see what I got here. Cause I wrote down like literally almost beat for beat for the scene.

SPEAKER_01 45:29

I fucking like I I loved that scene though, because it reminded me of that movie. Uh remember like Kung Fury? Remember like the ultra cheesiness of Kung Fury? Yeah, yeah. That whole sequence of uncaged fury reminded me of like Kung Fury for some fucking reason.

SPEAKER_03 45:43

Oh, yeah, like what I wrote down here is Mortal Kombat is about to begin. Enter Johnny Cage as a washed-up movie star at the Comic-Con. But they intro him with an old clip of one of his movies where he's doing cheesy action fighting, and at one point he growls like a dog. If you don't remember that, that there's one part where he is fighting the dudes and they knock off his glasses, and then he looks at his glasses and he goes, And I was like, What the fuck? That's fucking gay, gay as fuck. But to be honest, I did like the scene because it was like legitimately cheesy 80s action. Like he throws a guy into a garbage can. It was like necessary.

SPEAKER_01 46:17

It was like, you know, stylistically, they it was necessary for it to be cheesy, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 46:22

Like that one was meant to be cheesy. And then uh, so whatever he's in he's in uh he's in the Comic Con, no one's buying his shit. He goes back out to the the parking garage, the parkade where he's putting all the stuff in the car, and then fucking Raiden Raiden approaches with Sonia. But I wrote this down, I was like And Liu Kang.

SPEAKER_01 46:41

No, no, it was just him and Sonia. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 46:43

And then Raiden approaches, and he and this this is what I wrote down giant for K. He's like, Oh, uh Mr. Cage. Well, we must uh find a Mr. Cage car. Oh no, not that one. Here's the license plate number. Go look around for Mr. Cage car. We gotta find Mr. Cage waiting in the like he walks up on a note where he's waiting in the parking garage on there where he's like, Mr. Cage car, we must find it.

SPEAKER_01 47:09

Yeah, they fucking think they knew where he was.

SPEAKER_03 47:11

Well, I mean uh obviously he's just teleporting in and out, but when I was watching it, I was like, yeah, that's funny, I'll write that down. Um and then yeah, Cage is like, he's like, so he's like, no, he's like comic, he's like guys, he thinks they're from Comic-Con. That's the thing, okay. Carl Urban's good in this movie, but I think it's like too little too late.

SPEAKER_01 47:31

Maybe not too little too late, but just like it feels because he just finished watching the boys.

SPEAKER_03 47:38

No, it just feels out of place. Like it feels like I don't know. That's the thing. Maybe it's like maybe in my brain, I'm like, because I didn't play much of the games, I'm not much of a big fan, but I'm like, they're they're they really lean into in this movie, oh, Johnny Cage is old. Yeah, oh Johnny Cage is an old man now. And it's like, okay, I get it. Carl Urban's an old man now, but it's like, I don't know. I really wish they would have done a younger Johnny Cage.

SPEAKER_01 48:00

Yeah, because like uh I I I I do even though Carl Urban like did crush it, honestly, and even though like Carl Urban's like he was he was the highlight, yeah, for sure, dude. 100% it was the highlight of the of the movie for sure. Um Johnny Cage is young in the games. Like, like he's a younger man in the first movie. He's a fucking he's a tadpole, bro. He's fucking he's literally like he is a movie star at that point. Like he's like not a washed up movie star, he is a movie star. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:33

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't like to be honest, I love Carl Urban in the movie. I was like, I don't know. But it's fine. Um, and then fucking Cage joins them and they go to train in Raiden's Sky Temple, which is still on Earth, apparently. She's like, they go through the Sky Temple, and he's like, Where am I? She's like, Oh, still on Earth, actually. And I'm like, what the fuck? Where are we on Earth? He's in the fucking clouds, dude. Like, this looks like the most mystical area in the world. And they're like, nah, this is still Earth. Don't trip.

SPEAKER_01 48:58

There's still mysticism in the world. You got you got a bunch of like people on Earth Realm that have legitimate powers, man. A fucking temple in the sky isn't that far-fetched for the world of mortal combat.

SPEAKER_03 49:09

Yeah, I guess so. I don't know. I just I just thought it was funny how they were like, he's like, let's teleport just to the Earth Sky Temple. It just felt very zealoting. Fucking take a plane or just go to the other realm. What are we fucking teleporting to you so you could train it? So what we teleport to the Sky Temple so you could train there for all of literally three minutes and then Johnny Cage leave. Oh, really necessary. No, you know what? You know what? They went to the Sky Temple and fucking fucking Cole Young is there. Yeah, and I wrote I wrote down, I wrote down Cole Young better die fast. Yeah, yeah, dude. That's how I phone it, Tom. I wrote down Cole Young better die fast. He better die fast in this movie, and then whatever they tell John, so they get there and they're like, Yeah, these are all our people. Fucking Jax, he's got metal arms, fucking this guy shoots fire, and this guy's got like a fucking uh he's basically the Black Panther suit. Have you ever seen the Black Panther movie? We just took that and we put it in Mortal Kombat. He's got Black Panther suit with some shitty ass little fucking little weapons that he can hit you with. Not barely even blades, they're like they are. I don't know. They stick had them in Daredevil season one. I don't know what they're called, but they're cool. I mean they're cool, they're cool when somebody not Cole Young uses them.

SPEAKER_01 50:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:22

Gay.

SPEAKER_01 50:23

Gay when Cole Young uses them.

SPEAKER_03 50:24

Gay, and then and then Johnny Cage finds so Johnny Cage finds out Mortal Kombat is to the dead. In fact, Mortal Kombat. Yeah, it's to the fucking dead. And he's like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. I'm out, I'm dipping. I was like, accurate, accurate. You know what? I like that. It feels accurate. I would feel the same way.

SPEAKER_01 50:39

Um there's a moment with that whole sequence. I was like, man, are they rushing this? I feel like they're rushing Johnny Cage right now. And then when he said, like, Kate, I'm out, I'm dipping. I'm like, okay. They're not rushing it. That's good. Because I was like, man, they better not fucking rush this or it's gonna leave a really, really bad taste in my mouth. But they didn't, which I liked. He's like, okay, real realistically, I'm fucking out of here. That's what I would do too. Be like, yo, man, I'm not fighting anybody. You guys got powers and you're fighting like fucking interdimensional beings. Like, I'm not gonna fucking fight like some other motherfucker from like another dimension or realm as a mortal person and fucking die. Fuck that shit. I'm out of here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Um, and then like what what happens?

SPEAKER_03 51:20

Johnny Cage goes, he leaves. He goes to a bar, immediately goes to a bar. Yeah, yeah. He goes to a bar. Oh, but hold on. In between this, I think there's a little brief sequence of um Shao Kahn, Quan Chi, reviving Liu Kang. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:36

And then coming back and Kang Lao, he's reviving Kang Lao. And they bring in Kano and then he revives Kano. Yeah, they bring in Kano, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:43

Yeah. Um, honestly, uh, holy fuck, Quan Chi looks like shit. Yeah, Quan Chi does not look good. The worst design character I've ever seen in any movie ever, it seems. He looks his head looks square. He looks old and decrepit. Like I I've played the games. Yeah. Don't look like that. Everybody else looks pretty good. Everyone else looks fucking pretty great. They make Quan Chi look like a fucking gremlin, dude. He looks like a decrepit, like fucking wizard.

SPEAKER_01 52:11

Well, there's a moment where Keno literally calls him fucking Pennywise. Yeah. And I'm like, I think, oh no, uh God does look like Pennywise.

SPEAKER_03 52:18

Yeah, he calls him Pennywise. I was like, all right, I like I like the I like the the the reference. Yeah. Um yeah, so he revives fucking Luke Ang. He's like Luke Ang, or what which one is it? Kung Lao. Kung Lao. Kung Lao's my fucking dude. Now he's gonna fight for the fucking love Kung Lao. Blah, blah, blah, blah, Katana, fucking Jader here. They're like, no, stop it. Blah, blah, blah. And then fucking, you go with Johnny Cage is in the bar. It's fucking getting hammered.

SPEAKER_01 52:42

He's in the bar, getting hammered.

SPEAKER_03 52:44

Some guy comes up to him.

SPEAKER_01 52:45

Hey, you're Johnny Cage.

SPEAKER_03 52:47

He's like, hey, man.

SPEAKER_01 52:48

I hate that man no more.

SPEAKER_03 52:49

Yeah, I think this was the probably my favorite reference in the movie. This or another one. So this is the John Wick reference. The John Wick reference was pretty good because he was like, he's like, yeah, nobody wants fucking Johnny Gage anymore. Everybody wants Keanu Reeves killing a thousand guys with a pencil. I was like, pretty good. Pretty good. I don't know. I liked it. Yeah, I like that too. Also, Ed Boone as a bartender can fuck off. Don't want to see it. Don't care. This isn't a Marvel movie. Suck my dick, Ed Boone. And he calls him Ed. He said, Ed, oh, what's up, Ed?

SPEAKER_01 53:16

Shut up, you fucking dork. Ed Boone. Who the fuck is Ed Boone? Am I uncultured here?

SPEAKER_03 53:22

He's the creator of Mortal Kombat.

SPEAKER_01 53:24

Oh, yeah, that's right, eh?

SPEAKER_03 53:25

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:26

Boom Cybot, dude. Yeah, fucking, oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 53:28

Ed Boone and uh he's the bias.

SPEAKER_01 53:32

He's the one that fucking created the games and shit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:34

Yeah, he's the creator. And you didn't even you didn't recognize that? When the bartender was there? You didn't recognize him? I didn't recognize that was there. I would have thought you definitely recognized him.

SPEAKER_01 53:42

Because you're like, okay, I do love Mortal Kombat. I do play all the games. I played a lot of the games.

SPEAKER_03 53:47

Sean is much more of a Mortal Kombat fan than I am. I am peripherally a fan. Didn't really play the games a ton growing up. My mom definitely wouldn't let me have that shit. Played some of them like recently, but like I'm not a big fan as much as Sean is. So how I clocked Ed Boone and he didn't makes me feel good.

SPEAKER_01 54:04

You should feel very proud of yourself. I was like, man, who is this? Is that the guy that fucking played like the mo cat for Johnny Cage in the first game? Because there are like real people, they took pictures of them and they were the characters. I was like, is that like the original Johnny Cage from the original video game? That's not that was my initial thought, but it's Ed Boone, the creator.

SPEAKER_03 54:24

Yeah, Ed Boone the creator. I don't know if the other guy, I forget his name, something Tobias, because like so Noob Sybot, the character, is named after both of their last names backwards. Yeah. Noob, which is Boone, and then Cybot, which is Tobias. And I forget what the other guy's name is like Dave Tobias or something, but they both are like the creators. Um anyway, fuck that. He can fuck right off. Didn't care. Um okay, and then at this point, they're uh Mortal Kombat is beginning. Yeah. So they do they do a big change from this one from the first one, which I quite liked, which is farther down in my notes because I didn't clock it until later on, but they actually, when Mortal Kombat begins, each fighter is transported to like a level.

SPEAKER_01 55:08

Yeah, they're transported to it to an arena. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And like the arenas are like from like the actual like game. Fucking there there were some arenas from like from the movie that I clocked in. I was like, man, like that's from Mortal Kombat 2, like the video game Mortal Kombat.

SPEAKER_03 55:21

Wait, wait, is there Mortal Kombat games where the arena has hazards in it? I've never played that. Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_01 55:26

Yeah, there's fucking Because they don't have that in the new ones. Because like if you do a f if you do a fatality fucking uh in like um like the acid area, for instance, there's a fatality where you can like uppercut a guy into the acid pit and he goes in the acid pit and fucking disintegrates. Gotcha. And there's another fatality.

SPEAKER_02 55:44

Is that the new ones?

SPEAKER_01 55:45

Fucking that's not in the new ones that I know of. Like the fatalities are all clocked in with like just like your character, right? Yeah, because like there's like um environmental fatalities in the world.

SPEAKER_03 55:56

Well, I remember in the in the older like MK games, like before they rebooted it, maybe even 11, definitely in X, they had like interactable environments. Yeah, they're where you could throw people into the background, you could grab things off the stage, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shit like that. Yeah. Which I I do remember that, but I never remember like there being a thing in the like especially the one I'm referencing specifically is the which we're jumping ahead a little bit here, but that's fine. Is the spikes? This yeah, the Sonya and the Sindel fight. Yeah. And I was like, I've never I don't remember that ever being in a Mortal Kombat. It was cool.

SPEAKER_01 56:25

I think I think it's like a callback to the uh from the first two games. In the first two games, there's like Natora got iconically, there's a fucking place where you can uppercut somebody and they fall into a pit of spikes. I feel like it's kind of like a reference to that. Gotcha. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_03 56:40

Anyway, so where we were at is like it's so they all get transported to Mortal Kombat, two fighters at a time. And this one, too, they change it from the first one where there's like literally like a counter up in the sky, which I thought was pretty cheesy and campy.

SPEAKER_01 56:53

I didn't really like that either. It shows you like a count now that says which characters are getting delete. Like the rounds? Where is this coming from? Who's putting this shit out there?

SPEAKER_03 57:02

The rounds I thought was really funny. When they first came down, I was like, when like Johnny Cage is looking at them, I was like, what the fuck? Is that like aliens? There's the fucking aliens in the shit now, and it was like and they all lit up, and I was like, no way, that's the round counters. That's so fucking cheesy. Yeah, I don't know. I don't I don't know how much I loved it.

SPEAKER_01 57:22

Like you'd see it from Earth Realm and fuck it like in the outer world too. It's like we lost somebody to look up in the sky. Fucking there's like a one less round, like one by them.

SPEAKER_03 57:31

Yeah, I thought that was I thought that was a little bit cheesy, but whatever. And then uh so it jumps into the and okay. So I I I wrote down mostly all the fights, but I didn't write down too much shit in them because like I couldn't even think of too much shit. Um so it's katana versus Johnny Cage, the first one, and all I wrote down is Katana wins by making Johnny Cage hit his balls. Okay, so she wins.

SPEAKER_01 57:55

What I liked about that fucking scene was like when uh when Shao Kahn says finish him, and then Johnny Cage is wobbling it, and then he wobbles, and then he just falls to the ground. I was like, that's cool. I like that. That was fucking funny, man. She didn't do the fatality, he just fell over.

SPEAKER_03 58:11

That's how much I liked it, to be honest. I'm really on the fence on that one, to be honest, because when I seen it, I I rewind it. Like I was watching this movie and I was pausing it and making notes and rewinding it and re-watching stuff, and like I don't know, I watched it at least twice, and I was like, I don't know how I feel about it. I'm so on the fence. Like, a part of me wants to like it, a part of me wants to be like, oh, it's way too cheesy.

SPEAKER_01 58:32

I I I fucking I I liked it because like, yeah, fucking like it's Mortal Kombat. It's Mortal Kombat. I was like, man, it's cool to add that in there, dude just wobbling back and forth and it just falls over. I'm like, hey, I've I've seen that in every single Mortal Kombat game that's ever existed.

SPEAKER_03 58:48

Especially when you fight me, dude. You can't put a finisher in to save your life. Fuck you, buddy. We'll fucking fight after this. And then uh so we already jumped to it, but uh the next fight. So it's two two fighters at a time in this movie.

SPEAKER_01 59:03

Yeah, they get transported.

SPEAKER_03 59:05

They get transported and they immediately get transported, they get teleported immediately, they get like a glow around, then they get transported. So in the first fight, it's uh Johnny Cage and Katana, and in the second fight, it's Sindel and Sonia get transferred. And they get transferred in, and like Sonia's got like the fucking laser arm, Sindel's got the fucking She's got her scream. Yeah, she's basically black canary from DC.

SPEAKER_01 59:25

Essentially, yeah. Didn't do anything with her hair though, which I was disappointed because she's got fucking like those like fucking like naked hair. Yeah, the whip hair, yeah. Didn't show any of that, just her screaming like all females do.

SPEAKER_03 59:38

When they're around you for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the presence of a movie, definitely. I tend to bring that out in women somehow. And then Sonia wins brutally, like brutally, purple, purple lasers through the chest, and then slams her head into a spike.

SPEAKER_01 59:53

I was like, Dan, did he fucking kill Sindel already?

SPEAKER_03 59:56

That's the thing though. So I realize that when I'm watching the movie, is like you can kill anybody you want, they just resurrect them. Yeah. And it's like, I guess. Whatever.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:04

Yeah, well, they have Quan Chi. Quan Chi could fucking resurrect anybody.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:06

What about the fucking Earth Realm people? How come they all just die forever?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:10

Well, fucking Kwan Chi brought back fucking Kung Lao, Kano, and fucking, yeah, they're Earth Realm. True. Yeah. True, true, true.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:17

Um, oh yeah, and then uh, oh yeah, and then we I for uh oh yeah, I didn't uh we didn't bring this up. This happened, I think, like during the fight or right like before they got transferred. Um Kung Lao was resurrected by Quan Chi. We already brought that up. Yeah, then he ambushes the team and uses his cool hat to slice Raiden's throat.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:38

Which I thought was whack.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:40

Oh, that sequence. I mean, it was kind of whack, but I like the way the sequence looked. I like how it looked, but I just kind of like I was like, uh.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:48

You know what? You know what? I I didn't I didn't mind. Some of the visuals in the movie I didn't mind, but like some of the stuff I was like, yeah, whatever, whack. Like, just cut his throat, and then they're like, We need the power of the god, fill up the amulet. Big thing we haven't mentioned once in this fucking whole conversation is the whole movie. The whole movie is not really uh like the the whole movie isn't the whole point is not really Mortal Kombat. I mean it is, but the whole subplot that the movie is kind of focused on is that Kano stole this amulet from Raiden's temple, was killed, brought back to life by Quanchi, gives him the amulet, they kill Raiden to absorb the power of a god so Shao Kahn can become immortal. Yes, is essentially the plot. Essentially.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:30

So when when when right on the nose, that's that that that is the plot. Yeah, yeah. That's 100%. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:36

So when Kung Lao kills um Raiden, he absorbs his god energy from his slit, throw it into the amulet, brings it back to Shao Kahn. Shao Khan's like bam, bam, bam, I'm immortal now. Fuck yeah, let's do this. Um then what do we got here? What's next? You remember what happens next? Because I I could tell you if you don't.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:54

Um after that, um, okay. So uh Shang Sung takes Raiden's like no power and sucks it into Chinook's amulet, and then they fucking dip. And then um Kang Lao fucking dips too, and then they go into their fight sequence. I know like who who gets who gets uh it's like Kang Lao versus Liu Kang like almost immediately too.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:17

Oh no, we got we got a couple more things before that.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:19

Okay, uh remind me then.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:21

Okay, so um I already mentioned this, but uh I do I do really I'll mention it again because I do really think it is a very nice touch. How when they are transported, they are transported to like arenas in the game. Yeah. Super fucking cool and like really makes it feel like Mortal Kombat compared to the first one where they were just all in one area and then they were just fighting.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:39

It was like the it wasn't the beginning of the beginning of the termin turn terminant yet tournament yet, though. Terminant.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:46

The turn tournament, the turn turn tournament. Um and then next fight is Cole versus Shao Kahn because they all it's the second round, everybody's transported in.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:56

Yeah, for some reason, fucking like they made like Cole fight Shao Kahn like too fast. I'm lying. I thought like Shao Kahn, like isn't Shao Kahn supposedly like the final fight? Why is he fighting right right away?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:05

And why is he fighting fucking Cole Young of all people? Because I mean hold on, I have I have a theory, but also I I jumped ahead a little bit here. So um Kung Lao or Liu Kang. Right, Liu Kang? Yeah, Liu Kang. Liu Kang, no, Kung Kung Lao's the one that's resurrected, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:20

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:21

Kung Lao comes in before the second round of battles. Yeah. And that's when he slices Raiden's throat. Yeah. When Jax is going into fight, and when Cole is going into fight, and when Lu Kang is going into fight. Yeah, they all all three of them get teleported at once. Yeah, so they all get teleported at once, and then uh Lu Kang gets telepor Kung Lao gets teleported after he slices whatever homie's throat. It's Cole versus Shao Kahn, and um they're in like uh the acid arena. Yeah, the sure the acid arena where it's just like one little platform, one little path, yeah, and they gotta fight each other. Straight from World Combat 2 on Sega Genesis. That's uh this is a I'm getting a phone call right now from Oh, they're on the pod. Who is this? It's a debt collector. I'm not answering that. Let's put them on the pod. Send that shit to voice, send that shit a voicemail, bro. Never answer once. Um so anyway, it's Cole Cole Cole Young versus Kung Lao. And like earlier in the movie, it's so funny. Like, I don't know, maybe this is how it happened, but like I just thought it was kind of silly when I first seen it. So Sonya's like, yeah, Cole's powers are that uh whenever somebody hits his suit, it just makes him stronger, just makes him more powerful, absorbs their power, shoots it back. And then at the beginning of the Shao Kahn fight, Cole Young hits both his titties, he goes, hits himself in the chest with both his hands, and then he shoots a blast at Shao Kahn. And I'm like, did he just power up himself by punching himself in the titties? Because, like, how else could he have shot shit out then if nobody hit him to absorb anything? Because the first attack of the thing is Cole Young going, wow wow, and he's like, bam, bam, hits himself right in the titties, and I'm like, can you just activate yourself by hitting your titties? I think that's what it feels like. Pretty cool. It's kind of hot in here, bro.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:05

It is hot in here. I'm not gonna lie to you.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:07

You got AC in this bedroom?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:08

I do got AC in this house, but my fucking bedroom is hot as balls. And I can't open up my window, it has no screen. There's no screen on my window. My cousin Dave broke it. He was in here drunk one day sleeping and broke the broke broke the screen on the window. And my mom fucking, I don't know, she fucking she I think she shut the AC off. Oh, it's raining. We don't need the AC. She's being weird with the AC lately. It's fucking bizarre. Damn, you don't get to control the AC in this house? No, they don't fucking let me touch the thermostat or fuck off.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:38

Really? Yeah, for real. You know what's crazy? At my house? I got an iron foot, brother. We're doing a little segue from Mortal Kombat here at my house. I keep that shit so cold that people be going in their bedrooms to warm up. People have to get under the covers to stay warm at my house, brother. People gotta get comeback to stay warm.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:59

I like that. Fucking see, like here, this is the hardest room in the fucking house. And like, hey, so like yesterday, like last night, actually, uh, the sun goes down, and mom's like, okay, I'm shutting the AC off. I'm like, mom, it's like fucking plus 30 out there. Why are you shutting off the AC? And she's like, Don't question me. I know what I'm doing. And then my dad kind of gave me a look, like, yeah, don't question her. Let's let her do her thing. I'm like, what the fuck, man? Like, I sweat bullets in my room. I fucking opened up the window last night, even though I have no screen, and I left that door open because there was windows open throughout the entire house, just so I could fucking like get like air circulating through here. I'm like, where the fuck is the AC? Like, there should be like fucking air circulating in my room through the fucking vents. There's fucking oschulets in here. I'm fucking like I shouldn't be like fucking like going back like 20 fucking decades to keep myself fucking cool off here. Concentration camp oven. Yeah, fucking literally. I'm fucking like I'm I'm I feel Jewish.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:59

Dude, that's so funny because literally it's the exact opposite of my house where people are like, Raymond, can we please turn off the AC?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:09

See I carry it like can I please turn on the AC? Sir, they come up to me, sir, su, I'm in it cold, sir. It's like what they say. I know it's like old people like it really warm and really dry. And like the longer I stay here, I realize that parents are getting old because this house is getting fucking it's getting hot, it's getting dry. They don't eat salt on their food. Nah, your mom don't like it dry, trust me. Alright, let's go back to the mortal conquer.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:41

Let's go back to talking about the movie though. Okay. Anyway, so um yeah, so fucking whatever. He smacks his titties, got gets a blast out of it, whatever. I don't know. You got anything more to say about this fight? Because you know what else I wrote? Whatever, Cole loses.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:57

Yeah, whenever fucking Cole loses, he dies. But what I did like about it was we kind of get a fucking classic fatality from the fucking video games. Like Shaw Call. Oh, he smashes his head, yeah, yeah. I was like, fuck, fuck yeah, that's awesome. And then the next one is the fucking environmental fatality. He immediately gets rid of his body and pushes him into the acid and his body disintegrates.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:19

And I was like, Must have been looking away at that part too.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:22

I was like, fuck it. I was like, that's cool. I like that. Fuck you, Cole Bennett. But that was that was a whole Bennett. What do you got against my boy? I mean, cool. What do you got against Lyrical Eminemade, you fucking dick face? I mean Cole Bennett. And man, Cold Young.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:35

Cole Bennett and all of his Chicago goons come and get this white boy. Um, yeah, I don't know. Dude, guess what though? It's gonna be about ten more minutes and I'm taking my shirt off. Is it really that hot in here? You got 10 more minutes, I'm taking my shirt off.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:50

Open the door, my pants are downstairs.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:52

I'll take my shirt off, dude. You want them to see me with other shirt on with a door open? You want them to know how homoerotic this is really gonna get?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:58

The air is circulating in here.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:00

If you're lacking up here that warm. Fuck, dude. Like, god damn. Well, there's another one. Well, you don't want me to take my shirt off?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:07

Sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:09

Yeah, because I thought you would have AC on here. Last time I came here was freezing. Last time I came here, I came here in a in shorts and a muscle shirt.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:17

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:17

And I was so cold. So today I said, well, they usually have the AC on there because they're normal individuals. And I I come here today and you guys are fucking me, dude. You know what? Marie and Rod are analyzed me. You know what?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:30

I'm gonna I'm gonna fuck with them. I'm gonna fuck with them. Guess what? Guess what? You're gonna get I hope we go turn on and I hope they come up here and yell at you. I'm probably gonna get yelled at. I might get yelled at on the pod, but you know what? I don't care. We have a fucking guest over.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:42

I don't give a fuck. If you do it, I'll give you another water. Okay, so um anyway, yeah. AC's on now. AC's on now for now until Sean gets fucking brutally beat by his daddy.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:55

I can already feel it. Already feel it right here.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:59

Fuck yeah, dude. So good, dude. I was literally I'll pull my titties out and rub them on your face so they're full of sweat. Fucking, you want sweaty titties on your face?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:07

Okay, like put your feet right here, bro. You can already fucking feel it. I believe you, bro.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:11

That's how AC works.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:13

Fucking Christ almighty, man.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:16

Okay, anyway, second fight from uh round two is uh Jackson Jade.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:21

Oh yes. I liked that fight too.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:23

Did you, Kay? You you take the lead because I'll I'll tell you what I have written down after.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:27

What I liked about the fight was like um I thought it was well choreographed. I don't know, I thought it was like one of the better, better choreographed fights of the movie, in my opinion. Okay. Because like, you know, like Jade's staff and shit. Like, I just thought fucking like that choreography with her was pretty dope. Okay. And also I did like how like Jax overpowers her and uses her own staff against her, and you could tell there's like a hidden power within the staff. Like, what's this? I don't know. It was like fucking foreshadowing to like what's to come. Yeah, hold on.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:56

Do you not understand what that meant as a Mortal Kombat fan?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:00

What's that?

SPEAKER_03 1:11:00

The staff? Yeah. Do you know you don't you didn't you didn't you weren't like, oh shit, that's what's in there. I can't wait till it comes out.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:07

I knew I knew it was in there.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:08

What's in there?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:09

Fucking it's her like fucking her staff is like fucking it's a power. It's like it's her it's her power. Her power is in the staff. And the staff, like uh, it's like holding back that power. Gotcha. You know what I mean? Hate that. You know what I mean? I do understand. If you play as Jade in the if you if you play as Jade in the video games, your power her uh her staff has like you know, like I don't know how to explain it.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:32

No, I I understand what you're saying. Like green and shit. Well, I just wish I didn't wait till the end of the fucking movie to bust it out, okay? That's all I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. Because like I was watching the movie and he's like, he like tries to hit her staff and he's like, what's in there? And I'm like, I don't know, dude. You tell me. Like, what do you mean? You think I'm supposed to know? I don't fucking know. Yeah. I'm watching the movie, and then then whatever. Like uh yeah, it was a good fight, whatever. It was fine. Uh what I what I wrote was Jax versus Jade. Fight's pretty boring, to be honest. Jax wins.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:06

Holy fuck, this we're like the poor opposites on this today. The duality of man. The duality of man.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:14

Because yeah, I was like, I was watching the fight and I was like, I mean, I guess, whatever. Fuck it. Um Jax has one of the cringiest lines on the whole movie. We'll get to it later. Word. Um, and then it's uh Liu Kang versus Kung Lao.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:28

Changed my fucking mind. That was the best fight of the goddamn movie.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:31

Yeah, I can agree with that. That one was pretty good. I liked how his hat was flying around the whole time. Yeah. And he was doing like he's like doing like little hand movements to get it to move. Yeah. I'm like, dude, that's so video gamey and so silly. Like he's like, what what I fucking really like. Is this this podcast really needs cameras? Because I'm doing lots of physical comedy right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:51

What I what I fucking really liked about it was like they pulled out fight moves from like the recent video games. I was like clocking and like, oh my god, I've I've done that move as Kang Lao before. Because I used to like I used to main Kung Lao in MK11. But Kung Lao was my that was my bro. That was my dude. I got a lot of wins online with Kung Lao. Hate Asians. So like uh like seeing him like do some iconic movesets from MK11, it thought was pretty fucking cool. I thought that was pretty dope.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:19

Nah, I like it. I like the fight as well. I thought it was a good one.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:21

It was also another iconic arena from Mortal Kombat 2 fucking the arcade game, like from way back in the day. Hell yeah, of course it was, dude. I've played that show all the time. Love arcades. Boy, it got ported. It also got ported over to SNES and Sega Genesis and stuff. Fucking love SNES. Fuck yeah, me too, dude. Fucking I I had I had a Sega.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:45

I don't remember any of that, but yeah, I believe you. Um so the part I thought part I thought that was awesome was um so Kung Lao hits him with the flames.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:55

He goes, I mean Lu Kang hits him with the flames. One of the Asian dudes hits one of the other Asian dams.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:02

One of the other Asian dudes hits one of the hey I hit you with the my fire, and I got you my spinning hat. Anyway, so fucking Asian hits the other guy with the Asian fire, and then he and then his hat gets on fire, and this is uh absolute cinema, dude. Liu Kang pulls off Kung Lao Kung Kung Lao pulls up or has his hat in his hand and goes like this. He goes, and he blows it. I was watching it as a thought that's absolute cinema right there. That's beautiful. Oh my god, he blew his hat off. Beautiful, love that. Absolutely incredible. This is what this is what I've been waiting for in a Mortal Kombat movie for him to go. And then um so he blows his hat off, absolute cinema. Luke wins, he pulls Kung Lao onto his own spinning hat, which I thought was a badass. I thought that was fucking dope. Really cool finisher because he slams Kung Lao's hat into the floor, yeah, and then it gets stuck there, and then he's doing the hand moves.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:03

He goes, I thought he was gonna do the fucking fatality against Kung Lao. Fucking use Kung Lao's own fatality against him, fucking like pull him back down the hat down the middle. I was like, dude, are you gonna do it? But it was still pretty cool. Still pretty cool. Yeah, pretty cool. Still pretty cool.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:18

That was alright. Definitely agree. Probably the best fight in the the whole show, the whole movie.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:23

Definitely.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:24

And then um it jumps to um jumps to the good guys. Good guys. Back to the good guys, and they're like, hey, we gotta fucking break into Shao Kahn's fucking castle.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:35

Yeah, so they go to the fucking the Tark the Tar Cotton War Camp.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:39

Yeah, sure, whatever. Fucking terracotta war camp. The Tarcotton War Camp. Terracotta War Camp. They're all fucking stone soldiers. No, so then they go find Baraka, and I can't tell if Baraka looks like shit or looks good in this movie. I still can. I've watched the whole thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:56

I was very undecided as well. It should be beefier. He should have been he should have been bulkier. I thought his face looked like shit. You thought his fucking face looked like shit? I thought the face was. I felt like his body was too disproportionate to his face. You're always judging men's bodies, dude. You fucking. It just looked disproportionate to me. Like the the whole thing. This looked disproportionate.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:16

Yeah, his cock was too small. Um anyway. Disproportionate. That was the joke, anyway. It was very everything was disproportionate.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:24

Everything was out of disproportion.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:25

Anyway, Sub-Zero is resurrected by Shao Kahn, and the good guys need help, so they try and recruit Baraka.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:31

Fucking Bihon is resurrected. Not Sub Zero. Bihon is resurrected. What's the difference? But Bihan got resurrected as noob Sybot. Sub Zero is like a title that Bihon has. Sub-Zero is a title. Fucking Bihon got resurrected, but not Sub-Zero.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:46

So Sub-Zero got resurrected by Khan.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:55

Fucking gay ass nerd shit, pussy. Well, because like fucking like Bihon's like younger brother ends up becoming Sub Zero. Sub Zero is a fucking title. It's a title.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:06

Whatever, man, Mr. Fucking title guy. Anyway, fucking this guy. Resurrected gay. And then uh okay, and then uh so whatever, he gets resurrected, and then uh he goes to the camp and Johnny Cage is talking shit to Baraka. Barocca doesn't like it, and he's like, okay, we're gonna fight. He's like, this is our greatest Earth Realm's greatest fighter, Liu Kang.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:32

He's gonna fight you because shitting all over fucking like Barack, calling him a coward and a pussy.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:38

He's gonna fight you, and then like you know, you can help us or not, and then he's like, Okay, I'll fight, but I don't want to fight him. Oh I wanna fight you, and he's like, Cause you're annoying. That was his line, and I was like, Okay, Barack. Let's go anyway. So they start fighting, and like Barack is kicking his kicking his cheeks a little bit. Johnny Cage is kind of dodging, and then there's this one part in the movie where I was like, whatever, this is fucking gay. Uh you probably loved it because you're a homo, but fuck you. What was it? Tell me, tell me, right? But tell me this one part where like he's fighting, he's fighting Barack, and he's dodging him or whatever, and Johnny Cage is like, I'm just an actor, and Sonia Blade's like, act then.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:23

Well, he puts the fucking sunglasses, and then Johnny Cage goes, It's showtime.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:28

And then he proceeds to kick Baraka across the fucking screen. He's like, I can't do it, I'm a pussy, and then he's like, No, I'm not, and he fucking kicks him across the map. And I'm like, Okay, dude, like you were you're holding that back, you fucking queer boy. And then he's talking about, he's like, I'm just an actor. It's like, motherfucker, you kicked him across the map.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:52

Well, he was also a fighter. I know, I've seen when he was at the bar watching his karate, he had black belts and you know, and all that stuff.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:00

Yeah, because black belts are gonna help you against a fucking man-eating fucking terracotta warrior, dude.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:06

Oh, so fucking he used the choreography from uh from the beginning of the movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:13

Hits him with the ball punch. Alright, yeah. That was iconic. That was iconic. Iconic. I'll give it to you. It's iconic.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:21

And the face that Baraka made was the same face that Girl made from uh from um MK, the very first Mortal Kombat movie from way back in the 90s, which I thought was a nice little homage, you know, a nice little, you know, little little little thing. I was like, okay, and there's some there's some moments here that are like, you know. Yeah, yeah. You're you're a big homage guy. It was just nostalgia. It was nostalgia, dude. I like homage, homages, however the fuck you pronounce it. Why are you saying it two different ways, you fucking weirdo?

SPEAKER_03 1:19:49

Mark is like fucking Mark Normand ass.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:52

Every time I mispronounce a word on here or say it or say a word differently, you gotta correct me. So I'm like, I don't know, but there's multiple ways. Why don't you speak English right, bitch? It's the only language you know. So how's it so? Oh, fuck's it. Okay, fair enough. No, I'm just fucking with you. I get it. I get it, I get it.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:11

Say it to be honest, say it however you want. Dude, what do you mean? Do you make fun of me all the time on this podcast? And you're like, you're like, you make fun of me all the time. Yeah, it's the podcast, dickhead.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:19

Yeah, okay, we're just clowning around here.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:22

Anyway, so um after that, fucking suck my dick. So we already said this, but I gotta say it again because I wrote it down. I feel crazy about it. I should probably I'm gonna leave it. So the good guys are trying to break into Khan's palace to steal the amulet back. Oh yeah, there's a magic amulet that's based around the movie Power of the God. They fill it with Ratoms Raiden's Come or whatever. And then uh yeah, they're gonna be a little bit more than a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:49

That's like that's an amulet from the video games. It's been like a it's been around since fucking Mortal Kombat. Um, what was it, Armageddon? I'm pretty sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:58

Damn, shit. Nobody's played that game. Um it was big on the PS2, man. It was big. Nobody had a PS2, dude.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:06

It was like one of the biggest Mortal Kombat games. Nobody owned a PS2, bro. Okay, and Liu Kang dies and he comes back as a fucking zombie. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:15

Yeah. I do that a lot in this shit. It's just like, okay, I get it. I guess. I wish he would have introduced more characters in this fucking movie instead of just being like, no, we'll just bring back all the other ones as zombies. It's like, you know how deep the roster is on these games? And you guys are like, nah, I'll just keep this. Where's my boy Kenshi at? Where's my boy Kenshi? We'll just keep the same guy. They don't like there's there's already enough Asians in this movie, dude. There's already enough Asians. Don't need another one. Like, we need more watts. More watch. I need more watts.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:45

We need more good. Why I need strike, I need striker. Well, striker would be dope, actually. That'd be that's from Mortal Kombat?

SPEAKER_03 1:21:53

Yeah. Nice. I just made that, I just thought we kind of made that up.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:56

That's a legit Mortal Kombat character.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:58

Yeah, I remember I remember from a game. I just wasn't sure if it's from Mortal Kombat or a different game. Anyway, so uh they're they're going into this fucking place. K Baraka kills all the guards, and then he's like, no, terracotta warriors aren't allowed inside, and it's like, just go inside, dude. Like, why are you gonna why you gotta leave the movie? It felt very video gamey though, because I feel like that's what happens in Mortal Kombat 1, where they get Baraka to help them get into a place, and then Baraka just leaves, from what I remember. Because I played more I played a good chunk of Mortal Kombat 1, and Baraka like helps them get into the Shang Sung's palace or whatever, and then Barack is like, Alright, dude, gotta leave.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:31

Yeah, he goes on his own little fucking little journey somewhere else.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:34

So, like I guess whatever accurate to the video game, blah blah blah blah blah. Um and then there I maybe I skipped a bunch of shit. You know what happens after that? Because the next thing I got is um when they're all fighting. Yeah. Is that basically what happens next? Did I miss it?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:53

It's like they're all fighting fucking Shao Kahn, essentially. Okay, like so like at first like Liu Kang and Shao Kahn have it or 1v1, and Liu Kang fucking like unleashes the power of the dragon, and like fucking like I am the dragon. Oh yeah, and like shoots like all this fire at him, and you know, fucking Shao Kahn just takes it all because he's immortal at this point, because Chinook's Amulet, they have like Raiden's power inside of Chinook's amulet, and they press it against Shao Kahn's chest, so now he's immortal. Oh yeah, yeah, okay, yeah. Yeah, so like none of that works, and then in comes uh Sonya Blade, and then Jax and Um Johnny Cage, and they're all tracked. Kano's there too. Well, he doesn't he doesn't show up uh until after the fight.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:36

Well, he's there with Johnny Cage while they're fighting.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:38

Um until after. Fucking like fucking like uh Jax fucking gets the amulet, but then Noob Cybot comes in, steals the fucking amulet.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:48

Um No, what happens is they're all standing there, and Johnny Cage is about to jump in and grab the amulet, and then Noob Cybot jumps out of nowhere and grabs the amulet.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:58

Yeah, and then uh Shao Shao Kahn kills Jax, and then him and Liu King are then uh they're teleported again, and Johnny Cage is by himself, and then that's when Keno comes in with the three other dudes, and then he kills those three guys and tells them, like, hey, haha, I'm on your side now. It's essentially what happens.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:16

Well, no, well, I mean, I think we're uh yes, I'm sure, but uh, we're definitely missing a part because there's a big part in here that I definitely wrote down where I'm like, this definitely happens. Umbe it's later, actually. Maybe it might be later.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:30

Yeah, because they they do team up, but it was it's after the Shao Kahn fight.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:34

Okay, yeah, it must be later there in the movie. But no, there's a part where Jax this is where Jax is uh the cheesiest lie in the movie happens. Okay, yeah, I'm misremembering. It's Jax and Sonya fighting fucking Shao Kahn. Yeah. Shao Kahn fucking beat Sonya, and then Jax hits him with that's my goddamn partner. Yeah. That's my goddamn partner. I said, Oh wow, this is a bad movie. I said, No, please, Jax, don't do this to me. Don't fucking say anything cheesy right now. That was cheesy as fuck to me. And then yeah, I have Sub Zero or whatever you want to say, noob Sybot. It was noob cybot. I don't care it's sub zero in my notes, so I'm gonna keep saying sub-zero snatching the amulet from Cage looked bad. It didn't look good, it looked bad. It looked really bad. Watch it again, it looks bad. When Jack was uh Johnny Cage looks fine, but then noob cybot jumping out of the nether and then doing a flip and grabbing the thing doesn't look good.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:28

What quality were you watching this movie in the best quality?

SPEAKER_03 1:25:31

Because I watched it in the best quality too on my TV, and it looked fine to me. You obviously don't know. I think I think that's what happens is you get blinded by the love of the franchise. Oh maybe that you're like, I fucking love this, bro!

SPEAKER_04 1:25:45

Oh my god, it's the best movie ever!

SPEAKER_01 1:25:47

Well, when he fucking what came up for me, when he fucking came out of nowhere noob cybot and disappeared, I was like, Yeah, that's fucking noob cybot. That was cool.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:54

Yeah, it looked bad though. It looked bad. The most stuff in the movie that looks bad is all the aerial shit. Anytime they're in the air, that's all my complaints is Katana. And I didn't bring this up earlier. When Katana is fighting Johnny Cage and um he's on top of the roof because he's hiding from her, she throws her knife into the thing and then swings around to pull herself up. She literally goes upside down and then floats up in the air. It looks so bad. Yeah, I don't know why they did that. It looks so bad, brother.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:25

It's like uh like Trust me, watch it again.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:27

I don't care what quality you're watching on. That shit looks bad.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:31

I get I get your nitpick. I get I get I get it. I feel like it's a callback, like uh also once again an homage, like old school kung fu films where like people are, you know, slowly.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:40

Calling it over fucking call everything that's bad in this movie an homage, you pussy. I'm just saying it could be. I'm not saying it is. You know what? I'm saying it could be too, but I'm still saying it looks bad.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:52

It did look okay, it did look pretty cheesy.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:54

That's fine. You don't have to agree with everything I say. But it did look cheesy. I do agree. I do agree with that. And then so uh they're like, whatever, King of fucking fucking noob cybot snatches the amulet. They're like, oh no, we gotta go into the nether realm. And then they go and talk to fucking half dead Raiden, and Raiden's like, you're gonna need a guide. And then he transports Johnny Cage and Kano to hell, where he fucking goes and talks to fucking Scorpion. Hashido Hasha Hashido!

SPEAKER_00 1:27:23

My name is Hashido!

SPEAKER_03 1:27:26

And then they fucking talk to him, and uh, you know what, you know what? I wrote this down. I think this is still a metaphor for the movie. Kano eating an apple, calling it a peach is a metaphor for this movie. He's literally in hell. He grabs it, they're literally apples. They're literally they are literal apples. They're apples. Wow, you should try this peach. And I'm like, everybody can tell that's not a peach, brother. The flesh is white. Yeah. I guess it could be a white peach. Probably not, though. Probably not. You know what? Could be forgot that those existed.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:57

My favorite kind of peach is a white. Peach.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:01

My favorite kind of peach is a fuzzy peach. You know what I'm talking about? Like a little fur on the like a little hair on a little grass on the field. Old enough to bleed and old enough to butcher. Oh, I suggest next week. I suggest I suggest next week we do a PC episode. A PC episode. We see how long we can go without making any nasty jokes or disgusting references.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:27

That'll be episode 10.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:29

Because guess what?

SPEAKER_01 1:28:32

People do not like it. People don't like our jokes.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:37

No, I'm just kidding. I have no idea. I honestly don't care. I just thought it would be a fun idea to see how long we could do an episode without making any crude humor and see how far we can make it in an episode doing a doing a straight G-rated episode that we could that we could show to your mother. I will not talk about your mother's pussy juices once, I swear.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:57

See why I do like a nice and like like PG13, PG Disnified version of the podcast. Oh, PG 13? Yeah you could say we can say fuck once. We can say fuck once.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:08

But who gets to say it? I'll leave it up to you, brother. What do you mean leave it up to me? You got it, brother. You say the N-word. I think I could not say fuck, but I don't think you could not swear, dude. You're a raging racist. I I swear all the time. I know, dude. Especially when you got a couple fucking wobbly pops in you. Every time you got a couple wobbly pops in you, this is you. You fucking see my fucking cocking fucking balls yesterday, you fucking queer. I'm like, whoa, dude, chill. Don't you chill out, bro?

SPEAKER_01 1:29:41

I'm the same way sober too. No. Not that bad. Disagree. Disagree. Disagree. Disagree. Would you say strongly disagree?

SPEAKER_03 1:29:50

If like we were had we had a scale, it would just be disagree. Okay, we'd be strongly disagree. Alright. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And then um whatever they fucking get. He comes and helps them. And uh and uh this is the I wrote this down, and like that's the thing. I'm not a really big Mortal Kombat fan, so like lots of the stuff in the movie was probably lost upon me where they were like showing this cool thing, and it's like a reference to an old game, and I'm like, don't care.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:20

See, that's why I was nerding, that's why I was nerding out because there's so much references to the games, and I was like, this is awesome. I'm loving this. Yeah, yeah. Um, then that's the that's the thing. Well, I it felt like a like a faithful adaptation of the video games, and we don't get that a lot. We don't get faithful adaptations of video games.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:39

I feel you on that, brother. I do feel you on that. Um, this so this next question I have in my notes is does Jade I have a lot of questions in these notes because I don't know the answers and I didn't care to Google them.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:51

I got answers for you. I don't have all the answers, but I do have some answers. So ask a waiting. Thank you, father. Yeah, I got you.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:58

Does Jade always have a glowy staff? I don't get the hype.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:03

Yeah, she ever like fucking from the very first game. Her staff has always been glowy. Like, I don't understand that either. Like, you know, like it's getting hot in here again.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:16

I gotta fucking get it, do something in this bitch. I gotta do something in this bitch.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:21

Raymond just like lifted up his shirt halfway. He wants to slapping it.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:25

What do you mean halfway? It's all the way, baby. You wanna suck on my nipples? You wanna suck on my nipples? I wish we had cameras, man. I wish we had cameras. My fucking nipples, bitch. That is fucking hilarious. All right. I'm paying like this for the rest of the podcast. I'm walking out of the room like this. Your parents are gonna be like, what the fuck are you guys doing in there? I'm gonna be like, gay sex. Multiple gay sex. Um fuck's sick.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:53

Okay, so yeah, uh, Jade has always had a glowy staff, or staff has always had.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:58

Um I gotta take my pants off too, I think. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:08

Just walk out of here naked like it's your fucking house. I'm carrying all my clothes. Bye, Ron. Bye, Rie. See you guys. See you next week. Fucking my parents like, what do you mean Rain was coming over today? I was like, it's fucking Tuesday, yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:26

I guess when it's hot outside, so expect no clothes.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:29

It's fucking Tuesday. You're wearing fucking sweats are those joggers. These are joggers, bro.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:34

Full of cat hair, dude. Got pussy hair all over my pants. Shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:39

But yeah, fucking Jade. From what I recall, she's always had a glowy stick.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:46

Okay, cool. Then I mean it seems like it doesn't really matter to you, then it doesn't matter to me because they were really like she broke that shit like it was supposed to mean something.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:55

Yeah, and I was just like, I don't care. It had no impact on me. I think I think it's like metaphor, like a metaphor for her like breaking her breaking her like uh connection to fucking Shao Kahn, like breaking, breaking that bridge between the two of them. It's like a metaphor, supposedly like poetic, maybe. I don't see that it becomes the person that she's making.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:14

Shao Kahn was Shao Kahn was on the hilt of the staff. Yeah. I like it actually. Great. That's great. I like that. That's why you're here. That's why I keep you around, buddy. I pick up on the metaphors. Very good, very good. Um, also, next question is Liu Kang banging katana?

SPEAKER_01 1:33:32

Not yet, but he will.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:34

Okay, so why are they forlorningly looking at each other like I fucking love you and I miss your cock?

SPEAKER_01 1:33:40

They may have already banged. Because I mean, like, because like I mean, it's been established that she has been communicating with Earth Realm for who knows how long. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:47

She was a kid, probably, because she's got the Lu Kang or she got the Raiden thing when she was a kid.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:51

Yeah, so the the they probably are banging. I mean, like That's hot because like they do do that in the game. It's like they fall in love with each other. They bang in the game? Well, it doesn't show it, but like fucking we know that they're in love with each other. Just like how Johnny Cage and Sonia Blade they fall in love with each other and they have a kid together.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:07

Fucking hard. Um okay, cool. Um, and then I guess it jumps into uh the fight that I was talking about earlier, where it's Johnny Cage and Kano versus the dudes. Yeah. I don't I guess they're just fighting like random dudes.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:24

Anyway, it's uh there's there's one the first part that that I really Oh mean like the dudes, like fucking like the like the black dudes? I don't see her color, bro. Well, like that. Not African Americans. Okay, I should I should probably I should probably touch base on this. Not African Americans. Just wasn't sure which movie you were watching.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:44

They look like cyber.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:46

They look like noob, those guys. Yeah, sure. Key, like the ones that are just like teleporting out of nowhere in in the nether realm. Probably blacked out. I don't know. Yeah, sure. Yeah, that's noob cybot. He could like but he's got multiple dudes, he's got multiple dudes that come out of him. Yeah, they're fucking they're they're all cybots.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:03

That makes that fight seem way less impactful now, thinking about it then. But yeah, anyway, it's funny how like K Kano's getting held by these two dudes on the edge and he's got the knife at his throat, and he's like, use your he's like, use your powers. No, it's all noob cybot. He's like whatever, fucking sub zero. He's like, use your powers, and he's like, I don't got any powers. He's like, What the fuck? Yeah, and like I just think that scene is so funny because literally two seconds later it shows Kano. You know what Kano's powers are? This, yeah, fucking. He just he just looks at me. He just looks at me, it's looking. His power is looking. Yeah, that's it. It's not like he's like super combat, it's not physical, it's not anything, it's just like he's like, you don't got powers that sucks. Look at what my power is. I can look at people. He's like, dude, okay, I guess. I don't know. Fucking gay, to be honest, I thought it was gay. But there's uh the probably second or first favorite reference in the movie. Um, the Lord of the Rings reference from uh Carl Urban, yeah, where he's like he's holding the amulet.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:05

Of course he makes all the movie references, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:36:07

He's like, What do you do with it? He's like, Oh, just read the instructions on the back. He's like, Oh, yeah, one ring to rule them all and all this bullshit. And I was like, Oh, that's actually pretty goaded because Carl Urban was in Lord of the movies. Yeah, he was in Lord. Yeah, that's awesome. Pretty goaded. I was like, oh, that's actually a pretty cool reference. I don't know. I thought it was fun.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:21

I thought it was fun too. I agree. I mean, I'm in agreement with you on that one, too.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:25

I only have like two more notes for the whole movie, damn. Yeah. Um so um there is uh they're uh they're at the end of the fight, so whatever they beat, they beat the two.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:39

Well, let's not forget that Scorpion was fucking fighting Noob Cybot the entire time.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:44

Literally, he was fighting he was fighting the physical form of noob. Didn't write down a single thing about that fight, so if you want to take it away again.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:50

I thought the fight scene was I dropped the mic. That was a mic drop moment. I thought the fight sequence was pretty cool.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:06

Fucking fucking butterfingers.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:09

It was a mic drop moment, bro. Well, no, I thought I thought the fight sequence was pretty cool. Not as cool as the fight sequence uh with him and sub-zero in the in the first film. Yeah, but I thought I still thought it was pretty cool. And in this one as well. Like uh probably my second favorite fight sequence besides Kung Lao versus uh Lu Kang, in my opinion. I thought it was pretty cool. Oh, thanks, man.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:32

Uh-huh. Um yeah, okay. I can I can fuck with that. Uh I thought it was pretty good anyway. It ends with fucking Scorpion pulling noob cybot out of B Hunt or fucking you know what? I'm not using your terminology, I'm using mine. Pulling this gay homo. Alright, continue. Pulling this gay home out of Sub Zero's body, fucking kills him, blah, blah, blah. Sub Zero goes bye-bye.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:07

Okay, so here's what really happened. Okay, so here's what really happened. So he fucked so he holy fuck. So Scorpion pulls out the cybot out of fucking out of Bihon's body and kills the cybot so that he's able to fucking kill the actual physical version of noob cybot, of bihon, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:37

Whatever, it sounds gay when you say.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:39

I know what when I when I say it, I was like, man, it sounds so gay. How did what you say sound less gay?

SPEAKER_03 1:38:45

I have the term gay homo in mind. I know. Fucking it, it sounded less gay than how I put it. Anyway, so um so they fight, whatever, guy wins, blah, blah, blah. He goes back to hell. It's like whatever. Who needed fucking fireball face here anyway? Um, and then it's fucking katana versus Shao Kahn, and um Sonia's there. I don't know, I think she gets like her ass stomped or something.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:09

Oh, she fucking she gets fucking like fucking okay. So like he fucking hits her with the hammer and she goes spinning around in circles across the fucking arena. Yeah, but how does she not get brained the fuck in? How does she not get brained in by them?

SPEAKER_03 1:39:23

I'm working up to that. So she gets fucking she gets a little bit destroyed, she's on the ground, and then Katana's there, and she uses a little bit of her last energy to shoot blasts where Katana is tied up so she's freed, so she can fight Shao Kahn. And then Sonia hits her with the classic. She hits her with the classic fight. And then right after she hits her with the classic iconic fight, Shao Kahn kicks her and randolls her across the remote, like literally like almost brains her in.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:02

I'm like, oh she gets fucking destroyed, dude. She can literally get kicked the girl's whole arena. I did laugh at that part too. Fucking like I was like laughing fucking a lot watching this movie, actually. There's there's a lot of moments where I was laughing. I could 100 pen 100% attest.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:18

Yeah, some some places definitely got uh definitely got a good chuckload of me.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:23

So like during during all that fucking um noob cybot, I'm gonna keep calling him noob cybot, you can keep calling him fucking sub zero, whatever. So he has the amulet. So at this point, you got Jade, you got um Kano, and you got Scorpion all using their powers against Noob Cybot, trying to destroy the amulet. And this is the moment.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:45

This is the moment where Johnny Kay's like I have a question then, because multiple times in the movie, the good the the the entity which is you say noob cybot separates from Bihon and then they fight as two different entities. Yeah. So if Noob Cybot was killed by fucking Scorpion Flame Face, then who's the guy getting the amulet? It can't be Noob Cybot.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:06

Well, that okay, well, he he he killed he killed like one of the fucking like things. It's it's I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:12

So hold on, hold on. You're telling me the climactic end to the fight between Scorpion and Noob Cybot is him just pulling out a random clone and killing it.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:21

Yeah. And that clone, I guess. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:23

That really takes away from the fight that you just thought was awesome.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:26

Yeah, I guess, yeah. And then he doesn't even kill him. You're just left with a physical physical manifestation of Bihon's dead body. It's like he doesn't have his power anymore.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:36

Then how are they not able to pull the amulet from him? I guess he still has like Bihan's.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:42

I don't fucking know, okay? It's actually kind of confusing now. Now I'm like, oh my god. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:47

See, that's what I'm saying, because it's like if he's noob cybot without the body, then if he kills him without the body, then who's in the body? That's a good question. Um, yeah, anyway, all I all I have written is Johnny Cage activates, because like that's what I've been writing in the in my notes, is how he how people like get their powers. Like shole slaps his titties to activate himself. Johnny Cage activates and he's like, I am Johnny Cage, or whatever the fuck. I am Johnny fucking cage. Yeah, whatever. Like it's literally an eye, literally stole it from Iron Man, whatever. It's fine. Um, and then destroys the amulet, saves Raiden. Then Katana proceeds to kill Shao Kahn and avenge her father. That's actually after destroying the amulet. Shao Kahn is no longer invincible. Katana slits his throat, he takes out, he she goes down, he's like, Oh no. And then she pulls off his helmet and she's like, Show everybody what you are. And then I was like, What? And then she was like, a monster or whatever she said. I was like, okay. Obviously, look at him. She said, Oh, a mortal. He's immortal. What is Shao Kahn?

SPEAKER_01 1:42:51

Fucking um, he's uh, I forget what realm he's from. He's from a different realm. Oh my god, there's too many fucking realms. I know there's a lot. He's essentially he wants to like rule all the realms. That's why he fucking he's like hell bent on wanting to take over Earth Realm. He wants to rule everything. He's like fucking he just wants to control everything. He's nether realm Hitler. Yeah, he won't he wants like all the realms to be in constant mortal combat. That's his vision. He wants it to be in constant chaos and mortal combat. That's what he wants.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:18

Love it. Um, anyway, movie ends. Johnny Cage is like back telling a story or whatever with Sonya or whoever he's with.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:25

He's the Tar Cottons he's uh talking to.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:28

He's in the Nether Realm still or whatever he's talking to, all these fucking homos. He's in Elfworld still, he's at the Tarcotton Warcamp. Fucking he's in a realm. I know that. So I know he's in a fucking realm. I can't tell you which one because I'm not a fucking pleb. But um, anyway, and then the fucking Raiden comes up, he's like, we need all our best fighters back.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:50

Don't tell me it's sorry again. Why am I doing a fucking English accent? He's full Cockney in the movie, dude. He is Cockney, isn't he? No, he's not. He's English. No, he's not. Like there were moments where his accent did break. Horse, dude. Where you sound like fucking Billy Butcher moments.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:06

He's not a robot. He's a man. He's a man. Also, yeah, no, I mean that happens a lot with English actors, it just slips through. Unless they're really good at it. Yeah. Uh yeah, so and then they're like, yo, we need to come back, and then they're like, Mortal Kombat! You know, I was like, okay, I guess. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:26

Credits rule. Credits roll.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:28

Uh, I didn't watch this. There probably was a post-credit scene.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:31

I I don't know if there was, and if there was, it could be a like I know, I know if they're gonna follow the games what's gonna happen in the next in the next fucking movie. They've got Quan Chi. Awesome. Like Chinook is probably gonna be around as well. Huh?

SPEAKER_03 1:44:48

They got the they capture the dumb looking retard.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:50

And Chinook is probably gonna be around as well. We're probably gonna finally see Schinook unless he's already like, unless they establish that he was dead already in the first movie. I totally fucking I forget.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:01

And then and then that's the whole thing, that's the whole plot point that I just read it. There's no post-credit scene, that's whole plot point at the end of the movie where they're like, oh, we have Quan Chi, we can resurrect everybody now.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:09

Yeah, they're gonna go and like uh yeah, they're gonna go look for Liu Kang and uh Kung Lao and they're gonna resurrect him.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:15

What do you mean? I thought Liu Kang was like, I am sacrificing myself to bring back Kung Lao, and then Kung Lao just never comes back.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:22

Yeah, well the E does come back eventually.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:25

They all come back and I know, but in this movie, he's getting killed by Xiao Khan, and he's like, I knew I wasn't supposed to kill you. It's gonna be uh Kang Lao, and then he's like, ooh, and then he like ascends to heaven, and then you're like, Where's Kung Lao? And they're like, next movie, next movie.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:43

We'll find out.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:44

Hey, next movie, wait till the next movie.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:45

Next movie. I think next movie is gonna be heavily focused on it. It should be fucking heavily focused on Kung Lao Liu Kang. That'd be a great movie. Make it heavily focused on Kung Lao and Liu Kang. That's another that's another thing I really liked about this one as well, is that the previous film focused too much on Cole Young, who was like some made-up character nobody gives a fuck about. And then in this movie, they focused much more on the thing the three big ones, which is Liu Kang, Sonny Blade, and Johnny Cage. Those are the three big things.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:16

Definitely very Johnny Cage focused for sure. Johnny Cage focus. I feel like the last one was a little bit more. It was more Cole and like Liu Kang was a little bit more in the last Liu Kang in the last one, I think at the starting of the last one, couldn't even do fire yet. Yeah, no, he couldn't even do fire yet. Don't do fire until the end of the movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:31

Yeah. So this was like uh like like very heavily focused, more so on Johnny Cage, but like, you know, I liked how they had the big three more existential characters this time around because they were central to the plot and all the other Mortal Kombat games.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:47

It's funny how Shang Song was the main bad guy in the last movie, and in this movie, he's just like a little bitch. That's that's exactly like Shao Kahn's little bitch.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:55

Yeah, that's that's how it is in the games, too. He's always always been Shao Kahn's bitch.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:59

Yeah, I don't know why they just didn't bring him in the last movie, but okay, so now that we've reached the end of the movie, um, I think what we should do after every movie review is well, we start it with a rating and then we end it with would you recommend it or would you not?

SPEAKER_01 1:47:12

Um, I would recommend it to fans of uh Mortal Kombat. Exactly what I was gonna say. I would recommend it to like those those people. Like uh like you'll you'll definitely get you'll definitely take something away from it. You'll definitely enjoy it. But if you're going in like not knowing what Mortal Kombat is, you might not like it, and you could land with a fucking five out of ten like Raymond, or you could just go in there and accept it and be like, hey, this is a fun Mortal Kombat movie, and end up with a 6.5 Wow the drastic scores in those.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:46

Wow, such a big disparity.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:48

It's only 1.5 uh more stars than Raymond.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:52

Yeah, no, literally exactly what Sean said. I thought about this even before I got here because I was like, I knew I wanted to do the recommended segment, but like exactly what Sean said is what I was gonna say is I would recommend it to a Mortal Kombat fan because they are the ones who are gonna enjoy it. They're the ones who are gonna understand it. Yeah, people like me, people random people are probably gonna watch it and be like, like, yeah, sure. Yeah, it was alright. Like, I mean, it's fine. But people who really like Mortal Kombat are probably gonna be like, oh, I love this movie. Just like when I got here and Sean was like, I fucking loved it.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:22

I really I can't I really enjoyed it. I don't know why I gave it a 6.5. I think I might go, I might lean back to my 7 out of 10, actually. I think 7 out of 10 is a perfect scoring for me.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:33

Um yeah, 7 out of 10.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:35

7 out of 10's not bad. That's watchable. Um, passable. I even get a 5 out of 10 is passable. 5 out of 10 is passable. It's a fucking 50% score, baby. Yeah, that's that's okay. Um okay, so done some pretty good stuff here today.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:49

We have. It's we're almost like two hours in.

SPEAKER_03 1:48:51

We talked about Mortal Kombat for an hour, like a long time. See, and that's what I mean about like when we do like movie reviews and breakdowns. If we want to do it and we want to get like a good episode out of it, I think the best way is to do it the way we just did it. Yeah, because like we break down the whole movie, and then like like we did the whole time, we did little sidebars, little segues, whatever, talked about random shit. Yeah, still talked about the whole movie. Yeah, we did.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:14

And like fucking there, there was like there's there's no room now to talk about Spider Noir. You got all uppity about that earlier today.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:20

What do you mean there would have been total room because we could have we could have fucking taught, dude. What are you talking about? We could have recorded a four-hour podcast tonight, and then and then next week when you were being like, um so hot, we didn't have to record. Fucking no, it's fine.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:35

Oh my god, the heat is hurting my skin. It's fine. Oh my god, I need to wear a sun hat.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:42

Man, fuck it. Okay, you've been out of the kitchen for a while. You but you but you must remember how hard it can get in the kitchen. Dude, of course I know how hard it is in the kitchen.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:53

Also, I know after getting out of a kitchen job I get fucked up.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:57

Well, yeah, I mean, like I'm so acting, I mean.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:00

I mean, act like you're not getting fucked up. I know you're getting fucked up. I'm not retarded. I worked in the kitchen. Also, you told me how your kitchen operates. Regardless, you know what? We still could have talked about Spider Noir because guess what?

SPEAKER_01 1:50:10

What's that?

SPEAKER_03 1:50:10

I got fucking so many notes on this bitch. I got so many notes on Spider Noir. It's crazy. But okay, let's hop. I mean, we can hop into state of play, but I got a couple other things I want to bring up here.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:21

There was one thing I wanted to say about Spider-Noir, like really quickly, even though I only watched like two episodes so far. Okay, let me hear your The character Ben Riley isn't Spider-Noir. I don't know why they fucking like switch it around, like, oh, Ben Riley is Spider-Noir. Ben Riley is fucking that that's uh that's uh the Scarlet Spider.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:40

Yeah, it's a clone of Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:42

Yeah. So they're so I mean like Spider Spider Noir is like Peter Parker from a different universe.

SPEAKER_03 1:50:47

So without telling you too much, the directors of this are the same directors and creators of Enter the Spider-Verse. That makes sense, yeah. And they said that this is not the same character. It's not the same character from uh Enter the Spider-Verse? That's what they said. Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:01

So like it it and you know what that makes sense. Is he actually the Scarlet Spider Micks?

SPEAKER_03 1:51:08

I think you should watch more because it leaves more open to interpretation because there is a part during like so episode five and six is where you get like the origin of um uh this Nick Cage Spider-Man. Well, and you know it's funny, they can't call it Spider-Man because of like some weird like uh licensing. So he's the spider, and they can't say Spider-Man throughout the whole thing because it's like a weird licensing thing. Yeah, I guess it makes sense, but like whatever. Um no, so like episode five or six you learn like a little bit more of the origins of them, and one guy comes up to him and says, Oh, is that why you changed your name after the war? So people couldn't find you. So essentially it's like Ben Riley isn't his real name. Yeah, okay. His real name probably is Peter Parker is Peter Parker, but they just can't use it because of licensing. Well, no, I think they just I think well they I think he changed it because of like because I mean you might be able to even use Peter Parker, but they can't use Spider-Man, and maybe they changed it just as like a way to fit in more with the they do a lot, they do a lot of changing from the comic books to the show to make it more grounded and realistic. Okay. So without saying too much because you only watch two fucking episodes, yeah, I know. Then I don't want to talk too much about it. But yeah, like it's uh yeah, it's a thing where it's like his name probably is Peter Parker, but like he was like, after the war, all these motherfuckers got experimented on, like him, which is whatever, I'm just telling you the originals. All the motherfucking superheroes in the show were all from the same not same platoon, and they were all experimented on, and then he was the only one that came out that was like normal. So he was like, I gotta change my name, whatever, blah blah. There's so many parts of the show I want to talk about because it's so fun, but goddamn, I can't believe you didn't watch it. Whatever, it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:44

We'll talk about the next episode, brother.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:46

Yeah, I hope so.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:47

We will, I promise you.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:48

Okay, um, so let's do that. Let's do this.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:50

Um talking about state of play.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:54

Well, we can do state of play, but hold on, I got a couple other things here I want to touch on here. So today or uh yeah, today, right now, South by Southwest London is happening. Have you heard anything about this? South by Southwest London? Yeah, so it's like uh a film, a film like uh gathering, like a festival, a film festival. Okay. And uh so the Russo Brothers Because Doomsday is coming out in six months, whatever, seven months. Comes out in December. Yeah, so Russo Brothers were like there they showed a trailer at Cinemacon, but none of that trailer hasn't been released yet. We've only seen the four teasers that came out with Avatar. Yeah. So for South by Southwest, they put up a post being like, um, yo, South by South South Southwest London happening starting at 9 a.m. They said big reveal at 2 p.m. And everybody was like, no fucking way. And they were dropping all this crazy shit. Yeah, they dropped a logo for Doctor Doom, how his logo was gonna look. Dropped a couple things from the movie, and then they were like, okay, 2 p.m. it's gonna happen. And everybody was like, no fucking way they're gonna show a trailer. They're gonna show a trailer for Doomsday. Let's do it. Yeah, and they go south by southwest, and it's a Doctor Doom themed coffee shop. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:10

2 p.m.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:11

Big reveal, big reveal, absolutely just a fucking coffee shop, absolutely blue balling fans, no trailer shown whatsoever. Fucking crazy, just a whole lot of a whole lot of fucking coffee.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:23

Fucking Marvel really knows how to fucking shone their fans now, don't they?

SPEAKER_03 1:54:27

Bruh. That's absolutely crazy if they did that, but also it's like fine. Also, I heard some things where it's like Robert Daniett Jr. is gonna be in mask the whole first movie. He's gonna be in Doom Doomsday the Doom Mask the whole first movie, and he's doing a heavy Latavirian accent.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:42

Ooh, that actually makes a lot of sense. I'd that I would I actually would like that. Yeah. If they just keep him in the mask through through the whole thing. I don't want to fucking see him without the mask. I don't want to see him without the mask.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:53

You're not capitalizing on Robert Downey Jr. being Robert Downey Jr., you were just capitalizing on him being a good actor, which I think is a good thing to do. Yes. Um also, so I seen this uh so I mean that's that's really all I have to say about that. I thought it was pretty crazy how they blue balled everybody. Um hold on, I'm gonna okay. I can't damn it, I can't delete that yet. Um okay, and then there was uh have you seen the trailer for the end of Oak Street?

SPEAKER_01 1:55:16

The end of Oak Street? Yeah, I have not.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:19

Okay, so it's uh JJ Abrams production company. Bad robots.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:25

I've heard about this, I've heard about it.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:29

Ooh, who is the director of It Follows.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:32

Yes, yes. He's also doing uh the the the sequel that's coming out.

SPEAKER_03 1:55:38

Yeah, whenever it comes out in 2030. Yeah, fucking we don't know when the fuck is gonna come out. Motherfucker's never releasing that movie. Anyway, it's it's starring Ewan McGregor and Ann Hathaway as parents, and it looks like Home Alone with Dinosaurs. It's it on it looks like it could be a refreshing take on the modern dinosaur movie. Because what happens in the movie is so they're on this place called Oak Street and they're living there, whatever, blah blah blah. They wake up in the middle of the night, they're like, yo, did you guys see that flash last night? What happened? And then they're like, Oh, I don't know, maybe it was aliens. And then they go outside and they're like, Whoa, what the fuck? And like a whole perfect, a whole perfect circle cut out of their street has been moved, and it look it seemingly looks like I didn't look up too much from the movie, but it seemingly looks like they have the whole portion of their street has been teleported to the Jurassic period. Oh, wow. Which I think is um is could be pretty fun. It almost almost like the trailer almost looks like them like just trying to defend their home and trying to fend off these dinosaurs. And I was like, I don't know, dude. It looks like it could be kind of fun.

SPEAKER_01 1:56:46

Fucking like, well, we need a good dinosaur film. Like the only good dinosaur film that we really have, honestly, the only great one is the original Jurassic Park, yes. Yeah, yeah. All them all the other ones are kind of cheek. I mean, uh, I did like The Lost World. I liked it, even though people like don't like it. I thought it was great. There is one scene in particular that I do not like that kind of almost ruins the entire fucking movie stuff like in your nip. I'm trying to get it hard, bro.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:18

Trying to get it fucking hard for you, bro. Trying to get fucking hard for you, baby.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:22

Jurassic Park 3 fucking sucks. The first Jurassic World was good. I liked it. And then all the other Jurassic Park worlds, I mean all the other Jurassic Worlds fucking sucked. So yeah, we need it, we need a good dinosaur flick, man.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:37

I don't I to be honest, I didn't mind the first Jurassic World movie. It just seemed like it was literally just Jurassic Park in the modern era.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:45

Yeah. So it's like, sure, whatever. Well then they turn dinosaurs into monsters. That's the only thing I didn't like about it. I don't like that word. But it's like the original trilogy treaty dinosaurs like animals.

SPEAKER_03 1:57:55

Yeah, they're dying, they're just dinosaurs. Yeah, they're really dinosaur.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:57

And this one they're like, we need bigger and better. Bigger and better. And they fucking genetically like Indominus Rex. They make they make a fucking bullshit dinosaur. It's not even really a fucking dinosaur.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:08

In every single one of those Jurassic World movies, it's a bullshit dinosaur that they make, and it's like, I don't know, man. Not my thing. Didn't necessarily love them, but this end of Oak Street movie looks like it could be good. Ewan Ewan McG Ewan McGregor is a great actor, and Hathaway I fuck and Hathaway I fucking love. And I love her. She shows her tits in so many movies, bro. Oh my god. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:58:30

I've gooned to her a lot in my childhood.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:34

Yeah, which movies?

SPEAKER_01 1:58:35

Fucking there is one called um called Havoc.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:38

Is that the gang one?

SPEAKER_01 1:58:39

Yeah, the gang one.

SPEAKER_03 1:58:40

Where she's where they're gonna get gangbanged by two dudes, and then she's like, no.

SPEAKER_01 1:58:44

Yeah, she's like, no, I'm Udy, and then her fucking friend gets gangbanged, and then she's like, I was raped. Yeah. It's like bitch, you weren't raped. Yeah, you you wanted it. But then she didn't like it because they put it in her ass, and she didn't like it getting put in her ass, and she was in pain. I don't like getting put in my ass either. I agree with her. You love it. She fucking went and she she agreed to it, and she goes and screams rape.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:08

It's ridiculous. Yeah, dude. Every girl I talk to screams rape. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:12

Wild. But Havoc was trash movie.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:17

Trash movie, good titties.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:18

Good titties in there.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:19

Trash movie, great titties, actually. She's got some nice little itty biddies.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:22

There's another movie with her and Jake Joan Hall where Jake Jillen Hall is like just like clapping her cheeks the entire movie. I forget what it's fucking.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:29

Oh my god, dude. I'm I'm literally so hard right now. Those are two of the hottest people ever. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:36

Like Jake Joan Hall is legit just fucking drilling her every chance he gets. I forget what the movie's called, but yeah, you you see her, you see her nude as fuck in that movie too. It's like watching a porno in some in some of the scenes. Like, man, there's a lot of sex in this movie. Oh my god. Yeah, it's like all Jake Joan Hall and Anne Hathaway.

SPEAKER_03 1:59:57

Sometimes I just look up Anne Hathaway pussy.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:05

Fucking, there's like points like I would like press pause on fucking like on the dark night on the dark night rises and fucking just that one scene which is on the bat. Time to goon! Time to goon! It's like fucking like boom, pause. That fucking cake be caking all over that seat, bro. Fuck it. You know exactly what frame I'm talking about. Oh, I know what you're talking about. I've seen it.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:30

I never came to it, but I've seen it. Nick and I can. Yeah. Um, okay. Uh hold on, hold on, hold on. Sorry, I'm just deleting some stuff here. What Pornog? Uh no, literally all the notes that I took for this episode that you failed to do.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:43

Why did you why are you doing Will you try and make fun of me? I'm a comeback, bitch. Fuck.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:51

No, it's all good. It's fine. We still nailed a pretty good episode. We did nail a pretty good episode. I mean, we're not done yet. I think we should do at least some Cinemacon stuff because I gotta or some state of play stuff because I got a lot on it.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:02

Well, we are at the two-hour mark. I can um let me just press stop on the recording real quick so I can go dip for a quick smoke, and then I'll press.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:11

I think you should not do that and you should just keep recording because last time you did that, you said it fucked up the recording.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:16

No, no, fucking, we're we're good enough.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:18

Yeah, I know, but remember last time when we every time we stopped recording, kept recording, you were like, yeah, it never saved. So just go smoke and I'll just fucking keep banging out shit here.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:29

Yeah, you sure?

SPEAKER_03 2:01:30

Yeah, bro.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:31

I'm going I'm gonna dip out for a quick cigarette then. Fucking yeah, we are the two hour mark, and uh yeah, Sean is a cigarette addict. Pretty addicted.

SPEAKER_03 2:01:38

Sean's signing Sean's signing off here. He's about to go fuck a girl and a dude in the back lane. I'm not jealous of the dude. Um, yeah, so we're gonna fucking. I don't know if anybody's in that state of play today, but god damn, there was some crazy shit in there that got me so hype, dude. Holy fuck. You know what I'll talk about while Sean's gone? Because it's like it doesn't seem like he's like, oh, we don't have much time anyway. Okay, so I want to talk about this guy, this guy I read about online that I think is one of the most fascinating stories I've ever heard in my life. So stop me if you guys heard this one before, but there's this man named Carl Bushby and his Goliath expedition. So this man started off his journey in 1998. Englishman from Britain, from Hull, England. Young man, I think he was like 20, 28, 29 when he started his journey. Young man. But he left Chile in 1998 with the goal of making it home to England. However, he had two rules no motorized transportation for any part of the journey, and he may not return home until his journey is complete. Today, right now, he is still walking, and he is expected to make it back to England in late 2026. Think about that. This guy started walking 28 years ago. He started walking tw before some of you were probably fucking born. This man started walking. And he's still fucking walking. You gotta check this guy out online, man. Carl Bushby, k-i-r-l. Carl Bushby. One of the one of the greatest humans alive, dude. When this when this walk is done, it is gonna be the the the a BBC documentary that wins every award. Like, the dude's crazy. So he walked all the way. He he started in Chile, at the very bottom of Chile, and he walked all the way up through South America. He walked all the way through Central America, which apparently, like, uh there's a big portion of Central America, which is like so fucking dangerous to be walking through, or even traveling through, walks all through that, walks all the way through Canada, all the way up to, oh sorry, all the way through the states, all the way up to Alaska. And this motherfucker's like, I gotta cross, dude. I gotta get, I gotta get going. I gotta get going. Yeah, you did hack that there. I'm telling a story to the podcast fans. I don't know if you wanna, I don't know if you want you want me to restart it. Oh I gotta restart real quick. I'll do a real quick recap, quick recap. Anyway, so there's a there's this man. Have you ever heard of this man named Carl Bushby? No, Carl Bushby started his Goliath expedition in 1998. Okay, what is it? A man from Hull, England who set off from the base of Chile, the farthest southern point of South America, and said, I have to get home. But there's two rules.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:04

What's that?

SPEAKER_03 2:05:05

No motorized transportation of any kind, and I can't go home, or I can't finish the journey until or I can't go home until I finish the journey. This man has been walking for 28 years. Oh my god. Right now, he is still walking. Still walking? It is it is expected that he is gonna finish his walk into England by late 2026. Think about that. This man started walking in 1998 before lots of people that are listening right now were born, and he walked all the way around the planet. So I was just telling our listeners how he did it. So he started at the base of Chile, walked all the way up through South America, all the way through through Central America. There's a big part in Central America that's very, very dangerous, made it through there, all the way through the United States, through Canada, up to Alaska. Made it to Alaska, said, Hey, I gotta cross the Bering Strait. Something that nobody has ever done on foot in history. He said, Well, I gotta wait because the space between Alaska and Russia is shorter than you think. So what he did is he waited till winter, till all the ice completely froze over. This motherfucker crossed the Bering Strait on ice on foot.

SPEAKER_01 2:06:17

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 2:06:19

Walked all the way through Russia, all the way down to the Middle East, came to, I think it was the Caspian Sea. There was a country above him and a country below him, both in turmoil. He couldn't cross through them because of warfare relations. So he said, fuck it. I'm gonna swim across the Bering Sea. This motherfucker swam across the Bering Sea, got out, kept walking. This guy, I'm not kidding. This guy's walking right now. As we're talking, he's probably he might be sleeping, but he's walking right now. That's fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_01 2:06:50

35,000 kilometers around the globe. How would I not know about this? Like, how is this shit like not fucking like like I don't know that this should be fuck it should be documented?

SPEAKER_03 2:07:02

I was telling the people here that like when this when this when this walk finishes, it is gonna be one of if not the greatest BBC documentary that has ever been released. Oh yeah, it is gonna win awards on awards on awards. Yeah, as this man has been walking for 28 years.

SPEAKER_01 2:07:17

Imagine the shit he's fucking seen with. Imagine the place he's jerked off. Oh my god, that guy that guy is busting nuts all across the globe. He's like fucking like a dog, dude. It's like marking his territory. I just bust a nut here, bust the nut there.

SPEAKER_03 2:07:31

I just think it might be one of the most fascinating stories I've ever heard of.

SPEAKER_01 2:07:34

That is extremely that is extremely fascinating. Where'd you find this out? Chronically online.

SPEAKER_03 2:07:40

Chronically online popped up. I said, wow, this I'm pretty sure it was like a YouTube short that I seen, and I was like, this can't be real. I was like, this guy is making me feel emotions. I looked it up and it was like, no, he's still walking right now. Like he's like you're as you're reading this, he's probably still walking. And I'm like, what? And they're like, yeah, he's scheduled to make it back to England by late this year. And I'm like, bruh, imagine walking for 28 years.

SPEAKER_01 2:08:05

Definitely expect like one of like the all-time greatest Netflix documentaries of all time. Easy. Easily, easily, easily. Fuck yeah. So what do you want to do? You want to fucking start?

SPEAKER_03 2:08:16

Okay, we got 30 minutes left until you kick me out and your parents go to sleep. So whatever you want to do. Because I got a lot of stuff on um I think we should jump right into state of play.

SPEAKER_01 2:08:25

Okay, we'll take it away then. Okay, state of play. The first thing I want to talk about. The first thing I want to talk about is that probably the first thing shown. That bullshit fucking God of War. That bullshit god of war.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:37

Crazy. We're gonna fight now. Okay, cool. So we're about to fight. Perfect.

SPEAKER_01 2:08:41

Like uh like if it's perfect, so we're about to fight. You're gonna make a God of War game and get a God of War game. I don't give a fuck about Faye. I don't give a fuck about Faye.

SPEAKER_03 2:08:49

You don't want Debra Ann Wolf to get a paycheck, you fucking homo.

SPEAKER_01 2:08:52

Oh, and Jack Wade as well. He's the fucking, he's the he's the cube thing. Is he actually? I knew I recognized that voice. As Jack Wade. I knew I recognized that voice.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:01

Um uh I uh to be honest, we have the we're gonna be on the exact same uh or the exact opposite ends from Mortal Kombat. You hated it? I uh fucking loved it. But also I also platinum God of War Ragnarok. Sean probably didn't even beat it. I beat God of War Ragnarok. Did you? Yeah, I beat it, yeah. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 2:09:20

I just didn't play it as I didn't beat it the second time. The second time I started playing, I was like, uh, I'm gonna shut this off and play Elden Ring instead. And that's exactly what happened.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:29

Okay, yeah, fine, fair. Um don't don't disagree, disagree. Um, okay, hold on. Is that all you have to say about it?

SPEAKER_01 2:09:36

Well, again, another thing I've I mean like uh like the gameplay looked good. I mean, like I mean it looked it looked fine. It looked like the best gameplay that was shown today. I mean Phantom Blade Zero exists.

SPEAKER_03 2:09:47

It looked better than that. Um it looked way better than that. The only thing that was shown from Phantom Blade Zero was cinematic cutscenes. There was actually gameplay shown.

SPEAKER_01 2:09:55

Okay, that's true, that's true. Yeah, and like, yeah, okay. Well, I guess we'll wait and see. We'll wait and see. I'm just like I just like you know, if we have it if you're gonna make a God of War game, if you're gonna make it a spin-off, do an Atreus spin-off. No, well, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 2:10:10

You're actually bringing up the thing that people wanted the least. Yeah, everybody everybody hated Atreus in God of War Ragnarok, and now you're saying give him his own game. Well, because they kind of set it up. They kind of fucking set it up with Ragnarok. They're still gonna do it. Come on, man. That's the thing, that's the thing. So that's the thing. So so that's the thing. I'm a big God of War fan, God of War 2018, God of War Ragnarok fucking some of the best games I think ever. Yeah, that I do believe that. So I think I think the reason why they're not doing a God of War Atreus game right away is because if you watch the trailer for this God of War game, this game takes place during the 2018 game. Yeah, this game takes place where they burn her body, yeah, and then she goes to the after realm, and then that's taking place at the same time, I think, as the first game. Yeah, so like I was wondering, I was like, how is there no Ragnarok shit? Why is this shit not weird? And I'm like, oh, it's because it takes place exactly where the first game does.

SPEAKER_01 2:11:03

Yeah, and they're like coinciding with each other, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 2:11:05

I'm like, okay, hold on. I'm just gonna write down everything I got here because it doesn't seem like you got a lot to say. Um, so like I'm this I'm I'm so much more pumped for this game than Sean is. I wrote I wrote down Jesus fucking Christ, I was wondering why they showed Wolverine first. Deborah Ann Wolf is getting her own God War style game as Kratos' wife Faye. It looks very good. Looks like Kratos will be in it as a way of showing Faye what she has to do or helping her along the way, like Faye does for Kratos in the 2018 game. If you remember the 2018 game, there's many scenes in that game where Kratos is falling asleep or having a vision. And she comes and she comes and tells him what to do. Yeah. And in the trailer, it shows good shows Faye being down bad, not knowing what to do, and Kratos extending his arm to her and helping her. And I was like, bruh, that's fucking pretty sick. I love it. Okay. I mean, like okay, yeah. Um talking sword and gelatinous cube is an interesting choice. Like a very interesting choice. Um, this is the thing that I think could be really cool if they do this. I don't know if they are going to do this. I don't know if they are foregoing an Egyptian style god of war game for this game, but I think this could work really well if they do it like this. Maybe maybe I'm wrong. Tell me if I'm wrong. So they also say that she's in the afterlife of the gods. That is what one of the one of the people say to her. Um and it looks like some Egyptian shit, but I would think it would be cool if there was a ton of different gods in this afterlife area, so it would make it a bit a bit cooler because then you're not you're not focused on one mythology, you're not focused on one pantheon, you're focused on, oh, so the the girl in the trailer looked very Egyptian.

SPEAKER_01 2:12:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:43

The the the the evil chick in the trailer had like a head thing on with a snake and like very Egyptian iconography.

SPEAKER_01 2:12:49

Yeah, yeah. Maybe maybe that like uh like bridges the gap between because they they are theorizing that the next God of War game is gonna be Egyptian.

SPEAKER_03 2:12:57

See, and I hope they don't do that if they're doing what I think they're gonna do with this game. Because if they do that, then it just feels like it's like okay, we're just doing the same thing over again. Okay, but if they bring in like so they're like that chick's Egyptian, this guy, the the red guy does not look Egyptian. The the he looks like a demon. Yeah, and I'm like, I don't know where he's from, where maybe from Hellheim, it's probably fucking Catholicism. Love that, dude. He's Satan himself. Yeah, it's probably fucking Satan Satan, okay? I love that. And I was like, it looks like some Egyptian shit. I was like, it would not limit the game to the gods from Egypt and would make it feel like more of a mixed bag. Yeah. Instead of fighting, oh, this is you're just waiting for the next door to come up, you're like, Who's the next god that I'm gonna fight? I think that would keep people on the edge of an the edge of their seat being like, Oh, I just fought an Egyptian god, now I can fight a fucking um a Norse god or whatever, you know.

SPEAKER_01 2:13:49

It would be cool for her to come across like um like some like uh other gods that Kratos killed in the original games, too.

SPEAKER_03 2:13:56

They could literally add any god they want at this point because any god that has been killed, exactly oh man, you just made my point even better. She could re-fight lots of the iconic gods from God of War's Frank.

SPEAKER_01 2:14:07

Yeah, well now I'm now I'm on board. Now I'm on board.

SPEAKER_03 2:14:11

Now also the combat looks so fucking crisp and smooth. Like I don't know, I was watching the gameplay.

SPEAKER_01 2:14:17

It's Santa Monica, like yeah, it's another one.

SPEAKER_03 2:14:20

Yeah, but also I'm watch- I'm watching, but it's so much different from a God of War game being a God of War game. Even from the first couple scenes in the in the in the gameplay, she's running and she hits a double jump. Yeah, you can't even jump in God of War. No, you can't. You can mantle over things, you can climb on things, but there is no dedicated jump button. Yeah in this game, she can fucking double jump. I'm like, I don't know, dude. I think this is a a a fresh take on a game that they have already just reinvented, but I I don't know. I f I fuck with it. I fuck with it. I fuck with it so heavy, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 2:14:54

Further reinventing the wheel. Okay, I I I can get I can get on board with that. I didn't I just find Faye just kind of uninteresting. That's just my only nitpick.

SPEAKER_03 2:15:02

Yeah, I mean it's still that's the thing. It's definitely not Kratos, but I could I could see how they can make Debran Wolf's character of Faye interesting, even just by being just Faye. I don't I don't know. That's the thing. Also, I'm but you know, I think she does have acting chops.

SPEAKER_01 2:15:17

Like she's like she's in Daredevil, she's in like true blood, she just got acting chops, so like I already know like she's got the capabilities to to carry the game on her own.

SPEAKER_03 2:15:27

Like you know what's funny? It's like it calls back to earlier when I said you are blinded by your love of this franchise to see it anything better than bad. Yeah, and that is like me with this game, okay. Where I like I love both those games so much that it's like when I seen this, when when when when it first came up and there were they didn't say Santa Monica Studios yet, and it was just somebody breathing. Yeah, I was like, there's no fucking way they're doing this right now.

SPEAKER_02 2:15:49

And it said Santa Monica Studios, and I was in my room going, woo, going, what's fucking go, dude.

SPEAKER_01 2:15:59

Fuck yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:16:00

Looking at my nipples, bro. I'm not looking at your nipples, I did not look at your nipples, bro.

SPEAKER_01 2:16:07

Sean keeps looking at my fucking nipples, bro. They look very suckable. But I have not looked at your nipples, man. Jesus, man. Right.

SPEAKER_03 2:16:16

The fuck. Okay, what else you got? Because I got lots of stuff here.

SPEAKER_01 2:16:20

Onamusha, as well. They showed some more about Anamusha. And like uh I don't know if you I don't know if you played the original like PS2 games.

SPEAKER_03 2:16:27

I don't even have it written down. That was in the part where they were like, these are all the new games or all the old games that are coming to the console that that are old, right?

SPEAKER_01 2:16:35

Yeah, but it's it's like a whole it's a whole like revival of Onusha. And like uh it kind of just looks like um they slaughter like uh like some like from soft souls vibes to Anomusha, which I'm like, okay. I mean they kind of like amped up the amped up the action and all that stuff, but at the same time, it's like man, I wanted to feel like Anamusha. It just kinda just looks like Neo and Securo had a baby. I feel that. Whereas like Phantom Blade Zero fucking just looks crisp.

SPEAKER_03 2:17:07

Nah, I mean they only showed cinematic trailers, so whatever. Is that your most hyped game from the whole state of play?

SPEAKER_01 2:17:12

Is uh it's been my most hyped game for years, Phantom Blade Zero. They did uh Silent Hill Townfall as well, but uh it kind of looked underwhelming.

SPEAKER_03 2:17:21

What do you mean that that those graphics look some of the most realistic ever, dude?

SPEAKER_01 2:17:26

I thought it looked great.

SPEAKER_03 2:17:28

I mean, uh honestly, don't like Silent Hill games, don't like body horror like that, not a fan. Pass, pass, pass. But as I was watching that game, I was like, oh, this might be the most realistic looking game they've shown the whole fucking state of play. I mean, yeah, I mean, but then you have return we have uh um control two. Yeah, but that don't look realistic, that just looks like a fun little beat-em-up.

SPEAKER_01 2:17:51

Control 2 looks fucking awesome.

SPEAKER_03 2:17:52

It does look great. Trust me, I wrote down a lot about control 2. Do you want to talk about that next?

SPEAKER_01 2:17:56

That's fucking time with control 2.

SPEAKER_03 2:17:57

Okay, actually, I don't have a lot written about control 2. Sorry, it was a second last one. Uh but I have this written up. Control Resident comes out September 24th, and Wolverine comes out September 15th. September's gonna be a big year. And also we do it.

SPEAKER_01 2:18:12

And also uh uh Silent Hill Townfall comes out September 20th, uh September 26th.

SPEAKER_03 2:18:16

Yeah, you know what, you know what I wrote after that Silent Hill trailer came out? I said, uh I said, uh hold on, I was like September's a stacked year for video games. And then the next comment I says, forget Silent Hill. Did you see the trailer for that game, Il? Ill looks Let me say it.

SPEAKER_01 2:18:35

Let me say it. It looks ill. Il looks fucking awesome.

SPEAKER_03 2:18:38

It looks like a combination between Resident Evil and like dying light or something.

SPEAKER_01 2:18:44

It's like a Resident Evil dying light and like maybe with maybe like a little bit of dead space all came together. All came together and had a baby.

SPEAKER_03 2:18:52

Yeah, it looks really cool.

SPEAKER_01 2:18:54

And there's also that other one, that one game where like uh where you're in hell and your fucking weapon is like literally uh literally a body piece. Like I forget the I forget the name of the goddamn game, but it also had that that kind of vibe to it as well. Like they showed the game today, or you're talking about an old game? It's an older game.

SPEAKER_03 2:19:12

Okay, I have no idea what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 2:19:14

But yeah, fucking it's it looks really good. Uh it all looks like it might be like one of the most like disturbingly amazing games. Like I've like survival horror has been kind of like in a slump. I mean, they actually know what the fuck are we talking about? Survival horror has been coming back in a big fucking way because of the song, like because of the Resident Evil games.

SPEAKER_03 2:19:33

Resident Evil's been killing it lately. They've done a re revivalization of their franchise, but like also all these other crazy survival horror games are good, like Alien Isolation. I know that's a bit of an older game. But people people literally like uh acclaim that game as like incredible.

SPEAKER_01 2:19:48

It's it's I want to say one of the best survival horror games ever. So like that that's up there. Um IGN gave it a fucking four out of ten. I don't know how IGN like fucking like that's why people like lost faith in IGN as a whole, is because of their review for alien isolation.

SPEAKER_03 2:20:03

Oh piss so bad. You gotta hold this now.

SPEAKER_01 2:20:05

Take a piss. Take a piss. Yeah, fucking like let those nipples breathe, brother. Let those nipples breathe. Yeah, so like I Raymond can't handle the heat in my room. Like, I'm just accustomed to it, honestly. Um, what else do we have here from uh so yeah, we have uh we have Until Dawn 2 as well. Until Dawn. Uh oh Raymond just called from the bathroom. Doesn't want me to fucking talk about it yet. We'll talk about it when he gets back. Alright, let's talk about Kamuri then. Kamuri. That looks pretty interesting. A three-player action game, uh, and you're hunting yokais. Uh I don't know if you people know what yokais are, but they're like uh a Japanese uh folklore um monsters and creatures and whatnot. So basically it kind of just looks like you're just hunting monsters with your friends. It's like monster hunter, but it's Japanese instead of Chinese, and it looks like a modern day monster hunter, but you're playing with like two other people, which also looks really fucking cool. I am down for that. Anything that's anything that's like multiplayer and has to do with like monsters and creature creatures and Japanese, dude. Fucking count me the fuck in. Count me in. I am all for it. Let's fucking go. And there was another Tomb Raider game announced as well.

SPEAKER_03 2:21:24

Why are you doing what you're doing all the good news without me, you cock suck?

SPEAKER_01 2:21:28

I know no, I got it.

SPEAKER_03 2:21:29

Told you the fam, like, you know, talk about your cock or something.

SPEAKER_01 2:21:32

Okay, where's our case?

SPEAKER_03 2:21:34

Which one did you do? You did Kamura?

SPEAKER_01 2:21:35

I did Kamuri, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:21:36

Yeah, Kamuri looks so fucking crazy. Okay, it could be so cool, but it could also be so bad. I'm not the biggest anime fan, so I can't. I don't know if it's based. Is it based on something?

SPEAKER_01 2:21:46

I don't think it's based on anything, no, but it is heavily inspired by uh Japanese uh folklore. Like all the people.

SPEAKER_03 2:21:53

Yeah, killing the yokai. The traversal in that game looks so fucking cool, dude. Yeah oh my god, it looks so cool. It looks like so fast paced, so action-y, but like, man, the fucking the traversal in that game looks cool as hell.

SPEAKER_01 2:22:05

And it's multiplayer too, but you can play with like uh three people or three people.

SPEAKER_03 2:22:09

It's trios. Yeah, so I mean, when that comes out, when Sean uh uh scuttles up enough money, we'll play it maybe.

SPEAKER_01 2:22:16

Yeah, once once all my debts are paid. Once all my debts are paid, like I'm gonna break your legs. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:22:25

And then wait, you jumped right into Tomb Raider?

SPEAKER_01 2:22:28

I was about to before you walked in here. Tomb Raider. Looks fucking fantastic. Honestly. Okay, we haven't had a Tomb Raider game. Like, fucking when was the last time we had a Tomb Raider game? Tomb Raider Shadow of the Shadow of Lore Cross Vagina, yes, I remember that one.

SPEAKER_03 2:22:46

Yeah, I don't know. It came out in like 2016 or something. But this is also not a new game. This is a remake.

SPEAKER_01 2:22:51

Yeah, it's a remake of like an old. The second one. Yeah, of the the second one from like fucking PS1. PS1, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:22:57

So uh I I written down Tomb Raider remake is probably gonna rule. I played most of them, and the new ones are fucking bang. Have you played the new bang? Which ones have you have you played the new ones? There's three new ones, I think. I've only played the first two, haven't played the third one. Okay, so the third one is the shadow of the whatever that I said. Yeah, the first one though is so good. You're on that like island, stranded on the island, and like I remember playing that game. I bought it when I was like, I think I was still in high school, or still I was definitely still living in Pine Falls. And you play that game and you're like, oh, this could be a fun game, and then you die in that game. You remember dying in that game? Yeah, dying in that game is so brutally insane. Yeah, like you'll be you'll be in a you'll be in a section where you're we're going down a river and you gotta dodge logs. And if you don't dodge the log, Laura Croft literally gets impaled on a log in the cutscene, and you're like dead so graphically. It there's there's a scene, there's there's a part in the game where wolves are attacking you. If you let the wolves attack you, they rip your body to shreds and they show it. I was playing that game and being like, yo, this game fucking bangs, dude. Holy fuck, this game does not hold back. And then I wrote this is what I wrote down because like this is all this is all I got very graphic and basically uncharted with a lady, even though Uncharted was basically Tomb Raider with a dude.

SPEAKER_01 2:24:12

Yes, because that's exactly what like Uncharted was like if Tomb Raider and fucking Indiana Jones had a baby, you'd get Uncharted.

SPEAKER_03 2:24:20

Yeah, well, I mean, even even I would just even say Tomb Raider with a guy, because like fucking Laura Croft is a she's literally a Tomb Raider.

SPEAKER_01 2:24:26

Yeah, she's literally she's literally out there raiding fucking tombs, dude. And then we have Until Dawn 2 as well, which also like I really, really, really liked the first Until Dawn, which is crazy that we're getting a sequel like over 10 years later.

SPEAKER_03 2:24:40

Yeah, it's by a different developer though.

SPEAKER_01 2:24:42

Oh yeah, that's right. It is by a different developer.

SPEAKER_03 2:24:44

So I have a lot written on that because that was their second last um showing from the state of play.

SPEAKER_01 2:24:52

I think I think I think it's coming out like I it came out like during a perfect time because we just had the Until Dawn movie, which also did pretty good at the box office.

SPEAKER_03 2:25:01

Um I never watched it, forgot it came out. Okay, it was actually not too bad. Really?

SPEAKER_01 2:25:06

You watched it? Yeah, it was actually not too bad. It wasn't too shabby.

unknown 2:25:09

I bet you it was bad.

SPEAKER_01 2:25:10

I think it's like kind of like capitalizing on on that. It wasn't terrible.

SPEAKER_03 2:25:14

I bet you it was bad. Um either way, I put this is what I wrote. I wrote holy fucking shitballs until dawn too, with Billy from Stranger Things, Daker Montgomery's in it.

SPEAKER_01 2:25:23

Yeah. And I said, if I'm being fine ass.

SPEAKER_03 2:25:26

I said, if I'm being honest, I'm super fucking pumped for this game, but at the same time very hesitant because the last good supermassive game released was Until Dawn. Yeah. The last good game that Supermassive released, which is the developers that make those Until Dawn games, the the Dark Anthology games, the the Quarry game that just that came out a couple years ago, the directive 88020 game that just came out like two weeks ago. Like it's like it's all from Supermassive, but this is by a different developer. So like it could be exactly what the series needs. And they even brought back Peter Stormare from the original Until Dawn. Yeah. Peter Stormare is in it as a pretty fucking hyped up. Yeah, it's like it's he's like the narrator of sorts. Yeah, he's uh he's like uh yeah, exactly. Yeah, he's a guy you see in between chapters, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So super fucking cool. I didn't know what it was until it kept playing, and then I was like, no fucking way, Until Dawn 2. Insane how they're making it. I had to look it up because I was like, there's no way this is by Super Massive. Because Super Massive just released a game like two weeks ago. Swear to god, like it's like a it's like an alien space type game. So you're in a spaceship and like an alien invades, and you gotta do the until dawn ship with an alien on the ship. Word, blah blah blah. It looks bad. Um, this game looks like it could be good. The animation style looks way different, it looks way more cartoony, it looks I feel like a little bit less realistic than Until Dawn did. Um, in in the way that the skin on the character models looks smoother in Until Dawn, and this one it looks a little bit more thicky and more cartoony. I don't know if that makes sense, but it does look different.

SPEAKER_01 2:27:08

Like, like not quite Walking Dead, but like in the in-between, I would say.

SPEAKER_03 2:27:14

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 2:27:15

Exactly. I agree.

SPEAKER_03 2:27:16

Um, yeah, so that game looks fucking sick. Um, what else you got, buddy? Because I got a couple more things here.

SPEAKER_01 2:27:24

Go.

SPEAKER_03 2:27:25

Okay, so the new Wolverine game is the game that they started the state of the game. Yeah, I was hoping you would take this one off. Yeah, that that shit looks absolutely fucking insane. And I wonder how they're gonna handle it, handle him being basically unkillable. Because in like Wolverine, like it's it's very very well known that that's why they probably haven't made a Superman game in the last 20 years. Cause it's like, how do you make a Superman game? Like he's denied, there's no stakes, he's invincible. Yeah, like Logan is unkillable. But it seems like from what I've seen from the trailer, is like you can fight and build up a meter, and then when you get struck down, like you get killed, you can button mash to revive yourself if you have enough meter. And then I guess if you don't have meter, you just die. And like, I guess so, but like I guess it would be a pretty boring game if Wolverine never fucking died. But like, even watching the trailer, I'm like, okay, well, how are they gonna go about like Wolverine being like can just heal himself? Yeah, and it looked like in the trailer he's like fighting motherfuckers, and then you get struck down, and then he just you button mash square and then you get your health back. And like I'm like, okay, I guess, but that could also make the game way too easy. Yeah. I don't know. The game looks good, it looks graphic as fuck.

SPEAKER_01 2:28:34

Man, it looks so graphic. I'm like, that's what I was hoping for. Like a really like over-the-top graphic Wolverine game. It looks like we're fucking we're getting that shit.

SPEAKER_03 2:28:44

Uh anyway, yeah, it's like I don't know, man. The Wolverine game looks, it looks like you're saying it's super graphic. It looks like it could be fucking kind of banging.

SPEAKER_01 2:28:52

It does look very banging, and I'm all fucking for it. I am all for it. And like uh, it's it's the same, it's the same developers in the studio that did Spider- the Spider-Man games. It's Insomniac, and I'm I'm all down for that. Insomniac fucking kicks fucking ass. And yeah, fucking you know? Um I'm very excited for that game to come out. Okay, cool. September, it comes out September 15th. 15th. Let's fucking go, man. Okay, did you man September's like our birthdays are in September? We're gonna have a big September this thing fucking coming up, man.

SPEAKER_03 2:29:27

Bro, I'm gonna my September's gonna be huge. Probably 32 days. Fucking word. Word. Did you see the see the Marvel fighting game that looks like Marvel vs. Capcom, but it's just Marvel? Marvel Tom Gone.

SPEAKER_01 2:29:41

I haven't gone around to checking that one out yet, no?

SPEAKER_03 2:29:43

That one looks pretty fucking good. Also, okay, so there's uh this game called The Lost Wild coming out. It looks like it could be Arc, but without the training of dinos. It looks like you're just trying to survive.

SPEAKER_01 2:29:56

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:29:57

And it's first person, and it looks really cool.

SPEAKER_01 2:30:02

I'm already sold. It's got dinosaurs in it. Yep. Fuck me up. Let's go.

SPEAKER_03 2:30:07

Um one of the other things I got here that I thought you would probably like, which I mean, it's already been released, but it hasn't been released on PlayStation 5 yet.

SPEAKER_01 2:30:17

Word.

SPEAKER_03 2:30:17

It's uh Dune Awakening.

SPEAKER_01 2:30:19

Oh, yes. I've like uh I've heard a lot about this game, and like uh I really, really, really want to play it because I do love Dune. I do love Dune.

SPEAKER_03 2:30:28

I was gonna say too, also, it's uh it's not it's it's out, but it's not on PS5 yet. Co-op is a thing in this game. Yes. We should run it, but probably not because we haven't even finished split yet.

SPEAKER_01 2:30:39

We haven't finished, yeah, we we gotta finish split. We're almost there. We're almost there. I think I think we're like more than halfway there.

SPEAKER_03 2:30:46

Definitely more than half.

SPEAKER_01 2:30:47

Definitely more than half.

SPEAKER_03 2:30:48

That shit looks good though, too. That shit looks really cool. It's like a survival-based dune game. You run around on a rackus, you could be like you get like telekinetic powers, you could like fucking do hand-to-hand combat. Yeah, you're out fucking trying to not get eaten by a sandworm. Looks real fucking, it looks really fun.

SPEAKER_01 2:31:04

It looks really fun, looks good. I like it.

SPEAKER_03 2:31:06

Also, there's this game um by the devs of devs of uh Ori. You probably don't know what that is. Ori in the Will of the Wisps, Ori in the Legend of the Forest.

SPEAKER_01 2:31:17

Sounds uh sounds Asian.

SPEAKER_03 2:31:20

They're probably Asian inspired, but they're like a very esteemed platforming series. Very, very like hard and like good platforming series. So they're making a game called No Rest for the Wicked, and it's a Souls-like game, and a Souls-like game that I think that that the type of Souls-like that I like, which is like indie style. This game is all hand-drawn. Ooh, okay. And it's promised like a vibe. It's promised to be more than a hundred hours in-game content with optional end game bosses, optional story progression at the end, and I bet you it's probably gonna be under $50 too. Okay, worried. It's an indie game, but dude, it looks looks really fucking cool. I don't know if you ever like that's the thing. You're like, you're like, yeah, I love Souls like games. I actually like Souls Light games too, but maybe like a different style. Like, I like um there's this game called Death's Door, which is a very fun Souls Light game, which is uh you're uh it's an indie game and you play as a crow. Yeah. And you are uh uh a merchant of death, like you you you take the souls to the afterlife, yeah, but some of these souls have gotten out of control, so you gotta run around and fuck them up. Game is fucking incredible. Um really, really fun. Um anyway, yeah. There's uh there's some really good shit coming out this year. Some crazy stuff. Some good stuff to look forward to.

SPEAKER_01 2:32:47

Yeah, this this year's fucking stacked for video games. It's also it's stacked for fucking movies and shit too, man. This year's gonna be crazy for movies.

SPEAKER_03 2:32:55

Yeah, I mean, it's gonna be pretty wild, and I feel like we're fucking at at wit's end here, brother.

SPEAKER_01 2:33:00

I feel like we're it was a really great episode. We got like we covered a lot of shit. Um like it was fantastic. It was honestly the longest episode that we've had so far. Longest. It's definitely gonna be a two-parter for sure. I'm definitely splitting this into two parts.

SPEAKER_03 2:33:18

I think you should put it out as one.

SPEAKER_01 2:33:19

You think I should put it out as one?

SPEAKER_03 2:33:20

I think you should put this whole episode out as one. Yeah. I think it was I think it was because like what are you gonna split up? So then you split up what, like a little bit of the fucking Yeah, that's true. Yeah, like how how are you gonna split it? Because like we did 30 minutes on us hanging, vibing, catching up, an hour and ten on Mortal Kombat, and then the rest on this. So it's like, what are you gonna split it up into like it up? I would say at this point, this is our first ultra long episode that we release. Yep. And we see how it does. Because you know what? I think it's been pretty good so far.

SPEAKER_01 2:33:52

I think it's been great. I think the people are gonna be like, um locked the fuck in.

SPEAKER_03 2:33:57

I think they're gonna be locked the fuck in too, unless they didn't watch Mortal Kombat 2. Okay. Yeah, then you might want to skip to the next one.

SPEAKER_01 2:34:11

Yeah, that'll be in the description. Yeah, and the next one. If you haven't watched Mortal Kombat 2 yet, well, you're gonna listen to it.

SPEAKER_03 2:34:19

Hopefully gonna be Spider-Noir, uh, depending on how much Sean watches.

SPEAKER_01 2:34:24

I'll I'll watch all of it, I'll binge it.

SPEAKER_03 2:34:26

Prepare yourselves for that. Also, next time I'm probably gonna have less clothes on, so also prepare yourselves for that. Right. Also, Sean, next time, definitely gonna have less money. Prepare yourself for that.

SPEAKER_01 2:34:41

Next time, like I'll definitely will have less money because I don't get paid until that Friday. Yeah. So you get paid on Friday or Monday? I get paid every second Friday. Okay. I just got paid on that one Monday because um, well, payroll didn't go through.

SPEAKER_03 2:34:59

Damn, bro. Looks like this place you guys fucking got a got a got a problem.

SPEAKER_01 2:35:04

Well, they're still figuring their shit out.

SPEAKER_03 2:35:06

Yeah, no, I'm just fucking too. Anyway, um, thank you guys for listening. Make sure you guys like, subscribe, turn on automatic downloads for the podcast. It really helps us get more downloads, helps us grow as a podcast. Tell your friends, tell your mommy, tell your daddy, tell your kid, whoever's available to listen. We're PC, we're fine, PG. Sean's never said the N-word in his life, swear to God. I think they did on this episode. Oh, on this episode, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um thank you guys for listening. Uh, have a good night. Sean, why don't you take him out?

SPEAKER_01 2:35:42

Uh, I just want to say stay classy, stay beautiful, and uh, you're listening to the Just Clowning Podcast, and I hope you enjoyed our episode.