Autism, Employment & Community: Betty Proctor on Helping Neurodivergent Young Adults Thrive

In this episode of the Infinite Spectrum Foundation podcast, Betty Proctor shares a deeply personal and practical conversation about autism, parenting, education, employment, and the importance of helping neurodivergent young people build confidence through real-world exposure. As the co-owner of Obsessions Gifts and a leader in the nonprofit IMPACT, Betty brings both lived experience and hands-on community work to the discussion as she reflects on raising her daughter Nijah and helping create pathways for autistic and disabled individuals to grow into adulthood with greater independence and support.

Betty talks about Nijah’s developmental journey, including her autism diagnosis in early childhood and the crucial role that support systems played along the way. She highlights how FSU CARD helped provide strategies for everyday life, from reading and routines to dressing and chores, and how steady communication with educators and staff became essential throughout each stage of school. The episode also traces Nijah’s path through preschool, elementary school, junior high, high school, and college, showing how anxiety, bullying, leadership development, safe spaces, and steady encouragement all shaped her progress.

A major theme of this episode is transition to adulthood. Betty explains why she chose to leave her job and launch Obsessions Gifts with Nijah, creating a business environment where vocational growth, communication skills, and confidence could develop naturally. Through art, customer interaction, and community events, Nijah was able to move from anxiety and hesitation into a stronger ability to greet customers, present products, and handle money. That progression becomes one of the clearest examples in the episode of what can happen when neurodivergent individuals are given support, patience, and meaningful opportunities instead of being kept on the sidelines.

The conversation also speaks directly to parents, educators, and community leaders. Betty emphasizes the importance of gradual exposure, not isolation — helping autistic individuals learn how to function in a world filled with different people, environments, sounds, and expectations. She talks honestly about sensory challenges, panic, and overwhelm, while also encouraging practical tools like accommodations, safe spaces, and noise-canceling headphones. Her message is both realistic and hopeful: growth can be uncomfortable, but community exposure and support are essential because parents will not always be there to do everything forever.

The episode also shines a light on the work of IMPACT, which focuses on social communication, work readiness, self-advocacy, vocational rehabilitation, and supported job experience for people with autism and other disabilities. That mission fits squarely into a larger conversation happening right now around autistic adulthood and employment, especially as organizations keep pushing for better transition planning, skill-building, and inclusive job pathways.

Overall, this is a warm, grounded, and important episode about what true support looks like — not only in childhood, but in the years when young adults need opportunity, trust, and community connection the most.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

This world is is not just autistic. This world is not just uh ADHD. It's a blend of all different types of people. And our people need to be exposed to that. We're not gonna be here forever. Uh parents aren't. And so exposing them while we are here in a safe environment to different things in the environment, community really does help. Give your your son or daughter opportunities that it may be a little scary at first, but looking at those supports and building those supports and also people around you. But they may need supports when we when they get older, but at least they will experience those things. Hi, my name is Betty Proctor, and I'm co-owner of Obsessions Gifts and also Impact, which is motivating people through arts and crafts. Obsessions Gifts is a shop in which you can come in and do art, uh drip bears, you can do splatter spin art, uh, as well as any other type of art like art on canvases. Um the Impact, Impact Motivating People Through Arts and Crafts, is a nonprofit in which we enhance social and also communication skills with persons that have autism, neurodiversity, or other disabilities. We are providers with vocational rehab and we provide on-the-job training, we provide work-based learning experiences as well as work readiness workshops and self-advocacy workshops. My connection with autism is that my daughter is on the autism spectrum. She was diagnosed when she was about three to five years old. We work with FSU Card, which was phenomenal. They really helped us through um through strategies. They came to our house, worked with me and my daughter. Um, yes, they gave us some really useful strategies. They also um were a support. So every week they would come into my to our home and and uh help us with everyday activities. Like, for instance, um my daughter loved reading, and so uh she would help us with they would help gift strategies for reading, for um daily um for tours, and also even for dressing. So it was really good, and I really learned from those strategies. My daughter, um, as we were growing up, as she was growing up, uh she of course the experience with elementary school was interesting. Um we had a uh an ESC teacher who um gave us some motivation to uh do things um and to learn different things. Um but I think most of my teaching came from um from either reading about it uh also from um uh CART, uh FSU Autism Institute, the early social interaction. Um when Nija was in elementary school, then it well Nija has a lot of anxiety, or she had a lot of anxiety, and so uh it was um and also social, uh social, she needed social skills, so it was trying to get um Nija to socialize with others. Um, I have one more thing, and that is she went to creative preschool, which was a great teacher also. Um the the school just was phenomenal with helping with social skills. Um in elementary school, um it was Nigel was trying to connect with others, and it was the bullying, it was um people not understanding what autism was, uh, but having to educate uh some of the teachers um on um her her reaction to different things. Um then we got into junior high school and junior high school, we did go to a uh a private junior high school um and the private junior high school, then she uh got some more socialization. Uh she also went to uh Benton Hills, um, and that's where she was uh it's called something else now, but at Benton Hills, um they helped with um giving her some responsibility. Uh they wanted to see her um gain some leadership skills, which is really good. Uh we during this time, also elementary to um junior high school, there was the um the anxiety piece of it, and that was um we couldn't stay certain places for long periods of time. She didn't like loud noises, so church was really hard. Um church was very hard uh because of the loud noises from the drums and things, so I would wind up taking her out. Um and then when we would go up parades, we're just sometimes out of the question uh because of the loud noises, um, fireworks also. Um, so I would expose her to little things at a time, little pieces or um little bits of time, a little bits of of um of exposure at a time, and that helped to work. That that helped. Um I wish I would have had the noise counseling um earbuds or earphones, that would have really helped a lot. Um, but I did have earbuds that I uh did give to her. Um when she got into high school, uh she went to a charter school, and the charter school was really good. It was um evening rose, and they really wanted her. Uh well, I'm sorry, this was junior high. Yeah, uh junior high. In high school, she went to Lincoln, but um part of part of junior high, she went to Baton Hills, and then she went to Evening Rose. So part of it was um it evening Rose really wanted her to develop her leadership skills. So they um had her go to had her involved in SGA, and that really did help. Um, she was able to interact with more of the the um the children her age um and a little bit younger. Um, but it was a really good experience because a lot of times um persons don't want to or they fear um they they just uh or may not have the time or know of supports that they could give to uh persons that to our our people I call our our people persons with autism, persons with neurodiversity and with um with other disabilities. So sometimes they uh they don't want to give those opportunities. Um but um evening rose did and I appreciate that. Um so she grew from that. And then we went to Lincoln High School, and Lincoln High School was a bigger school, and so there was a lot of anxiety there. The teachers were phenomenal, they really did help her. They um I was able to communicate with the teachers a lot, um, and I think that um if if I had advice to give to a person who uh had who who is in school, um public schools, and that is make sure that you talk to those teachers and communicate with them, uh, even the principals too. I'm you know, I'm not saying that persons don't, but it's really important to have that communication with the the teachers, um, and also with support staff too. But um they Nija had a lot of the anxiety, so she would um uh come to a safe space, uh, which was a safe classroom that a classroom she felt safe in. And so she would stay there and calm down. Sometimes I would have to come and get her because she would have panic attacks. Um and so we looked at this and said, you know, um in college, uh, you know, we want to make sure that she has a smooth transition between high school and college. So um we I quit my job. I was working at FSU Card and I loved it. Um, but I I quit my job and Naja and I started a uh a shop or business, and that's what obsessions is about. Obsessions is about um having restricted interests but and being able to make something productive out of it. So Nija uh was making jewelry um and also she would help with um definitely help with um uh going to the market. We were at Frenchtown Marketplace, and so we would um set up on Saturdays, and at first Nija was anxious about setting up, talking to people. Remember when people would walk up to her and and you know she would need to greet the customers and she would run away. Um, but until she got used to it, and also until you know the roles I established roles for her, and she got um the repetitiveness of the roles and also um being able to know exactly what she was supposed to do. She um at the very end she was able to greet people and also show them products. Uh then uh she started Talesa Community College, and um she just graduated from Talesa Community College with her AA, and she's about to go to um FSU. We're waiting for that they will um accept her. But throughout all of this, um it was a learning experience, and it was uh something in which um uh you had to uh I I had to test things out and see, okay, was this um how would she react to this particular thing? Um now I knew some triggers, but some triggers um to her behavior I didn't know, and so it was a learning experience. Um but all in all, giving her experiences, um, different experiences really did help. Um sometimes uh people think, oh, I need to um, you know, well, I don't know how people will react to my daughter, you know, my daughter or my son, and that's true. You don't know how people will react to your daughter or son. However, keeping them away from those experiences, um I feel um will hinder their growth uh and their growth regarding communication and social skills. Uh you can start with just little bits of of time, also visual supports, things like that, um, because they need to be involved in in uh daily life, you know. This world is is not just autistic. This world is not just uh ADHD, it's a blend of all different types of people, and our people need to be exposed to that. Um, I mean, you have you know, you can expose them however you like with supports, but they grow from that. Um, right now we are working with with uh persons that have disabilities and uh getting them into work-based learning experiences, which are um giving them um jobs that they um that they work at. Um we uh partner with different businesses in the community and we definitely need partners. So if you are a person with a business, please contact us because we would love to put a person in your business. Uh we will give put that person in there with supports, um, but it gives our our people a chance to um experience work and also experience new um new skills. Uh so just came from a young man who is uh pretty much a level two, level three, and he's working at a business right now. Um he's doing skills that are right at his level, and he's doing them, and that's the cool part about it, just giving opportunities. That's what we want to do and build those skills. Um, so don't be afraid to, I mean, you know, of course, there's a little there's fear, um, because you want to make sure that your child is taken care of, but at the same time, you want to make sure that um, you know, we're we're not gonna be here forever. Uh, parents aren't. And so exposing them while we are here um in a safe environment, exposing them, uh, when I say safe environment, I mean around you, exposing uh them to different things in the environment, uh, community um really does help. So um if anything I say then uh that you remember, and that is um give your your uh your son or daughter opportunities that um it may be a little scary at first, but uh looking at those supports and and uh building those supports and also people around you because um I have um I'm a single mom, but I have supports. I have support of my family as well as um my friends, but my family really has helped me. Um so you know allow them to experience different things so they'll grow. And um, so that you know, they they may need supports when we when they get older, um, but at least they will experience those things. So that's uh some of the things that I would uh say to you. But yeah, it's been a great experience. Um, with my daughter, I've learned so much from her, um, definitely. Um one other thing is that uh there was a a student who uh was a PhD student, and this is how we got started with the nonprofit or with the groups um that we have. Uh there was a PhD student who, when Nija was in high school, um or it's been a while, middle school or high school, um, she was looking at the effects of autism and um art. And so um Nigel really um she she grew from uh being involved in that group. And so I afterwards I it was it was during the summer, the person was finishing their dissertation, and they stopped because they were at finished their dissertation. So I asked them, I said, Well, can you um can you um allow this to go? Can can I continue this? And they said yes. And so that's what I did. I continued it where we have art and also um we enhance communication and social skills. So it really has been um uh a great experience um with the nonprofit, and uh Naja is a co-owner of the um nonprofit and also of the um for-profit. Uh Naja does everything that I do. Um she does everything that I do from finances to um to greeting customers, and sometimes greeting customers looks different, but she's doing it. She's in the environment and she's doing it. So um putting your child in an in an environment really does help with the social and communication skills. So, yeah, that is um that's what's been really helpful. So we have an um an event called Art Case, and Art Case is involving art and also celebrating autism. We do this in the month of April, and this month is gonna be April the 18th from 3 to 7 p.m. We're gonna have a color party where you can come and throw paint on each other. Um, you don't have to we we have April we have uh ponchos, but if you just want to come and just get covered in paint or not covered, but at least some paint on you, then you can. There are gonna be a couple of vendors there. And uh, we're just gonna celebrate autism. So if you'd like to come, it's gonna be at Railroad Square 636 6, Railroad Square in Tallahassee, Florida. It's a free event. So thank you.