Autism, Understanding, and the Language of Behavior

In this episode of the Infinite Spectrum Podcast, Cynthia Covington brings a rare and deeply informed perspective to the conversation around autism, education, and neurodivergent support. With three decades of nursing experience, a background in neurology, work as an Exceptional Student Education teacher, and her own journey as a homeschooling parent, Cynthia speaks from the intersection of medicine, education, and lived experience. 

Cynthia challenges the way autism is so often framed, encouraging listeners to see it not simply as a disability, but as a different kind of intelligence. She discusses the remarkable strengths many autistic individuals possess, including deep focus, pattern recognition, strong memory, and highly logical systems thinking. Rather than reducing neurodivergent children to their struggles, she invites parents, educators, and communities to better understand how differently wired minds process the world. 

A major theme of the episode is the idea that behavior is communication. Cynthia explains that meltdowns and other outward behaviors are often signs of sensory overload, emotional dysregulation, or cognitive energy being redirected, not acts of defiance or bad behavior. She advocates for a calmer, more empathetic approach—one that respects the need for self-regulation and prioritizes understanding over punishment. 

The conversation also explores Cynthia’s educational philosophy and the methods she uses in her work with students. She shares how she creates low-pressure learning environments, allows movement and stimming, and even uses tools like avatars to reduce the stress of eye contact. She also introduces her Splash Method, a structured approach that begins with social-emotional readiness before moving into priming and academic instruction. 

Cynthia also reflects on why traditional school settings can be so difficult for neurodivergent learners, from bright lights and loud bells to rigid expectations around sitting still and performing in conventional ways. As more families search for flexible, interest-based learning options, she offers insight into why homeschooling and individualized education models are becoming increasingly appealing. 

At its heart, this episode is a call for empathy. Whether in schools, homes, or public spaces, Cynthia urges people to meet neurodivergent children with patience, respect, and curiosity rather than judgment. It’s a thoughtful, compassionate conversation about how we can better support autistic individuals by seeing their behaviors, needs, and strengths more clearly. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

All of humanity exists on a spectrum of intelligence. They often have deep focus, excellent pattern recognition, superior memory, logical systems thinking, all advanced ways of thinking that are quite honestly ways that we don't study or honor enough. I think that we've made a mistake by focusing so much on the social struggles of autism, but we haven't appreciated enough the outliers of intelligence and the superior processing that they bring to the table. And in healthcare, you learn pretty quickly that what you see is not always the full story. Hello everyone. My name is Cynthia Covington. I'm a nurse and an ESE teacher and founder of Tutorfish. I'm very happy to be here today. I was asked how I view autism. When I think about autism, I don't think about disability. I think about a different type of intelligence and high processing. We often say that autism is a spectrum, and that's true. But what we don't talk about enough is that all of humanity exists on a spectrum of intelligence. That's what I love about that name, infinite spectrum foundation. They often have deep focus, excellent pattern recognition, superior memory, logical systems thinking, all advanced ways of thinking that are quite honestly ways that we don't study or honor enough, in my opinion. I think that we've made a mistake by focusing so much on the social struggles of autism, but we haven't appreciated enough the outliers of intelligence and the superior processing that they bring to the table. My perspective comes from a combination of life experiences. Like most, they all came together in a way I didn't expect. At the same time, I was homeschooling my own children who were all gifted learners. I watched them grow and I saw firsthand how minds process differently. Some children move quickly, some think deeply, and many don't always fit in traditional classrooms inside the box, as I call it. So during that time, other parents were watching our homeschool journey and encouraged me to open homeschool classroom so that their children could come and learn with us. And that really inspired me. It inspired me to want to understand more, to learn on a deeper level, and to use more knowledge to help parents. So that's what led me to pursue the ESE teaching through Tallahassee State College. And with my son, who was my first student, we have built Tutorfish. We're able to now, I'm able to combine my nursing background, my teaching training, and my experience as a homeschool parent to provide a high-quality support to families. The way I see people with autism is with deep respect. I love their authenticity. I think it's kind of a mask-off way of being. I see it as mental focus. If your brain is deeply processing, analyzing, or engaged internally, things like eye contact and small talk about the weather, those are not a priority in that moment. So that's not a disability or a flaw. It's just that they're allocating their cognitive energy in a different way. And I think we need to respect that. One thing I believe, and I'm so grateful for Autism Acceptance Month, because that is really what needs to happen. Acceptance. I feel like one of the biggest misunderstandings that I see regularly when a child doesn't respond in the typical way, if they are defiant, if they are having trouble, people view it as them being bad or perhaps needing discipline. But from a medical and from an educational standpoint, I think what we're seeing is just emotional dysregulation and a neurological overload. Their brains are processing a lot, sometimes more than the environment can support. So instead of asking, why aren't they behaving? In my opinion, we should be thinking, what is this child experiencing? What are they going through right now? It's an empathetic mindset, but it can change everything. During my sessions with students, I frequently work with students who have autism. And in my online sessions, um, behaviors happen. Behaviors are communication, it's just part of the work. But we have to listen to that communication as well. Sometimes that's the only communication available right then. So when I see students distracted, giving me signals that they're overwhelmed, I don't look at it as something I need to correct. I just approach it as something I want to understand and support. Support sometimes looks like just being quiet, giving them a couple of minutes to regulate. It could be redirecting them with a smile. And again, just giving them a moment. Sometimes I wear virtual glasses or use avatars, so it avoids that direct eye contact and expectation just to relieve the pressure. And I always allow students to fidget, to stim, or to move around, as you know, just stay within within view of the camera. And it's amazing. It's amazing how much they can learn when that's not part of the equation, when their behavior isn't part of learning. I try to just stay very grounded and calm and and let them use my calm. What I usually see is that when the students feel safe, that their needs are being met, they're able to re-engage. They're able to do it pretty naturally if given respect and space. I really respect too the parents that are walking this walk every day. It's really important to me to make sure that the parents of my students don't feel like they're in the dark. After every session, I provide them a detailed session note. Remember, I'm a nurse, so it kind of looks like a nursing note. But I really want them to know everything that happened, every little progress that was made, whether it's behavioral or academic. I use this structured format called the splash method. Social emotional learning comes first. We have to make sure they're ready to learn. And then we do priming and our learning concept, always assessing, always giving them the supports that they need. And then in the end, we always have a happy spinning of the wheel so that they can get a prize. Because we understand the importance of that positive feedback. When parents understand what's happening with the academics and behavior, they're going to feel more confident. You know, speaking of parents, I I really like to say something directly to parents. I work with a lot of families, and one thing I see often is that parents are trying so hard to avoid behaviors, to prevent meltdowns, to avoid awkward situations, and to keep things calm. And I know that that as a parent, I know that that comes from a place of love, nothing but love. But sometimes that can limit both the parent and the child. Because in the real world, those situations exist. I feel like we should move from being from fear to curiosity. Instead of wondering, how can I stop this behavior? We should be thinking about what it's telling us. Look at it objectively and not feel guilty about it. It's not bad behavior. A meltdown isn't bad behavior, it's a communication overload. It's just the brain processing more than it can manage in that moment. When we start observing instead of reacting, we really can begin to see our students in a deeper way. You know, since I'm since I'm talking directly, I guess there is something I should say to the community, for those that are outside of the families, for the teachers, for the people in the community at the stores, public spaces. If you see a child having a meltdown, that's not the moment for judgment. That is a moment of for respect. Sometimes the best thing you can do is simply not add pressure. Don't stare. No commentary. Just allow that moment to pass because what you're seeing is not failure. It's just a moment of sensory and cognitive overload. And it happens to every single one of us all the time. It just looks different. You know, as a teacher, I know that our education system is really not designed for these sort of exceptional minds. Our school system expects students to sit still, process information in the way it's delivered, regulate themselves in every environment. Meanwhile, there are slamming gates, armed security, bright LED lighting, blaring bells. It can be really overwhelming for anyone. What the neurodivergent student needs is movement, flexibility, calm, and interest-based learning. Interest-based learning, project-based learning. And that's that's not happening. That's why we're seeing um a shift. In Florida, since 2020 to 2024, homeschooling has increased over 46%. That's a shift. So at Tutorfish, we're trying to create those kinds of environments that students need. One-on-one online tutoring is great for many students who need to be in their own environment, who don't need to adapt to a new environment. But there are many who need more. So we're relaunching homeschool classroom. It's a small structured learning environment where students can receive individualized support in a way that actually fits how they learn. It's designed to take the pressure off of a few local families so they don't have to fight for those services at school or feel like they're navigating homeschooling alone. We really hope to be there and support families and students. At the end of the day, I feel like autism is not something that we need to fix. It's something to understand, respect, and support. And if we can do that well, I think we won't just change the outcomes for a few children. I think we're going to strengthen families, and that is going to strengthen our entire community. Thank you so much for listening.